Tuesday

Slow week at work so far - seems like it should be Friday or something.

Anyway, my latest ad landed me a tenant. Well, we shook and he's moving in - but. The But? You never know until they actually show up. He loved the place, told me about his situation, looked around several times, decided this is the place for him.

Again, I always have reservations about people until they actually show up and are ringing the doorbell with a U-haul settin' out there.

I have yet another tentative tenat that I might be able to put off until I find out about whether Ken is actually going to be able to get up on his own anytime soon, or, am I going to have to re-rent the room. If you came over here from my Facebook and you are a friend of Ken's, please think about it before making judgements.

My house is currently more than I can afford with hour cuts at work. Tenants are my lifeblood between staying here - or losing the place. Ken is a good guy and we get along great - but I simply cannot afford to keep the room open forever. The rubber meets the road and I'm doing what I have to to survive. The 1st of the month is looming - I could wait it out for a while, yes, if I knew he was going to be on his feet, back at work and doing his thing.

But, at the moment, he isn't even out of ICU yet and he's been there since 3 Saturdays ago. He hasn't fully awakened that I have heard, just a little here and there and then back out of it. The hospital officials have said when he does get out of ICU, he's going to have to go in for rehab. How much, who knows, we aren't even there yet.

Point? I wish I could hold the room indefinitely, reality dictates that I would have to call his family and ask that they come get his stuff, or, if they are so inclined, pay his rent until he recovers.

I hate even saying stuff like that, but my situation is far too immediate and in-my-face to play any kind of games with anyone about my intentions or my needs. I have something of a loan mod going and the first payment is due at the beginning of October. My desire is to be able to actually get some cash stashed in the bank and be able to withstand any unforeseens in terms of finanical calamities, the which I have endured more than once in my lifetime.

If you think that sounds selfish, then slap me upside the head, but it won't do anyone any good, I have played the game of Life long enough, I know what happens, I've been down the paths and the roads where things go, sometimes it just isn't pretty and there is nothing else to be said about it. Life can totally SUCK at times and that is the truth for most people. God never guaranteed His children a rose garden with no thorns, He did say He would be WITH us and that He IS our Provider. I've walked through the thorns and the snares and the traps, the pitfalls, the smoke-n-mirrors and though I don't always see things coming, I definitely can spot SOME of it coming before it happens.

Lord how did I get off on all of this. I'm trying not to feel guilty, I guess. I don't believe that in doing so I would be doing anything immoral, unethical or wrong, but I still struggle with things like that regardless.

Wow. Well, I hope these 2 people pan out - I guess I'll find out tomorrow about the other guy with his Boxer who is allegedly moving in. I haven't heard anything from him, but then again I haven't contacted him. We shook hands and that is all I figure I needed from a man from his generation of upbringing.

I wonder if all of that applies anymore.

What does a handshake on a deal mean to you? If you say "deal" and shake on it, does your handshake - which used to mean your word as good as signing on a contract - mean anything? If something better comes along, do you even think about that shake of that hand with the person you committed to?

For many, I think it's meaningless. If something better comes along, blow that person off that you shook with. What's worse, and really the mind-blower for me, you don't even CONTACT that person to let them know you are history. You just shank it off as a meaningless event. Not YOU the reader - but if the shoe fits, you know what to do with it.

And that's where I left it with both of them: PLEASE just let me know if you find something "better", I will not cuss you out, yada yada yada, I will just move on and find someone else. They both agreed, though the older gentlemen pretty much declared his intentions of moving in over here and that was that for him. Yet.........the current condition of the American mindset...........I don't necessarily trust that, not anymore. Not for a long, long time, really.

I believe in the American spirit - freedom; independence; justice for all; but the grit that this country was based on? Does it still exist? Do we REALLY mean what we say, when we say it? Do we find excuses to not honor our word? Would I include those that are being foreclosed upon? If a person has done everything they can possibly think of to do and still come up short - as in a person that has been laid off due to the worst recession since the Great Depression - no. But at the same time, I don't ever want to allow myself to fall into the mindset of thinking that if they can do it, why can't I. It's a personal choice to try and live my life within the disciplines of being trustworthy; honest; true; loyal. The qualities that I admire in many of our Founding Fathers.

ben