Yeah, I know it's been a few days since I posted here - I have been busy and just posting on one blog was more than enough.
I'm still mulling the situation with Michael. I haven't seen him in going on 3 weeks now - and no, I didn't kick him out - but the info that came my way yesterday, though not surprising was still disturbing to me. He's basically fallen into the ways of the rest of his family. He's not going to school at all now and he's smoking weed all day long - just like the rest of them. It will not surprise me to eventually hear of him getting into trouble for stealing of some sort.
It's disturbing in that he's been living with me for 5 years now - a few stints here and there where he left to be at home for a short period of time - but this time, not even a goodbye. Just leave and act is if none of us ever existed. It's not just me, either, it's his friends in the neighborhood as well. I will not, however, have him showing up here out of the blue some day - which likely will happen - and have him thinking he can stay here without going to school OR while smoking pot. He can just stay at his family's house to do that, they are all birds of a feather in that regard.
Well, enough of that. The food consumption around here has dropped dramatically without him being here, which is a good thing in one respect, but - if it meant keeping him off of drugs AND going to school, then really not a good tradeoff from my perspective. Again, I would be pretty reasonably sure in saying that the reason he isn't coming around at all now is because he knows my stance on school and drugs/pot. I don't really want that kind of influence around my son or JD - my son's friend who lives down the street. They are both totally straight kids, have made it into the Junior years at high school without doing all the junk and I would like to see that "trend" continue on throughout high school.
I ended up getting 2 and a half "extra" hours at work this week. Not a lot, but if I could swing that next week as well, that's 5 extra hours on my paycheck and yes, I could use that money just about now. The "non-paying-but paying-tenant" informed me of some check that he is expecting in the mail today and would I please slide it under the door. Apparently his way of telling me that he is going to give me money after he gets that check. Well, I hope so, really I do, because I will simply issue another 5-day notice on Monday if he doesn't hand over at least $100 by this weekend. I think he figured that out after I did that on Monday of this week. Yup, after receiving a partial payment, I have to issue a 5-day notice all over again.
Today? Well it's beautiful outside and I'm headed out there shortly to continue raking up rocks. I am making piles of them on the east side of the house and then sitting down and sorting through them. The rocks have both river rock (ugly) and the natural rock that is underground here. The natural rock I put into now-empty planters and haul out front to continue on with trying to get all the ground out there covered, the river rock goes into the trash can.
It's a very tedious task but it's one that must be done. I mean, I could just trash all of it, but I have some barren spots out front that need covering. It's good exercise and since the weather is perfect - at least in the mornings, it's still getting warm in the afternoons - I want to take advantage of it. I'm also going to head up to Home Depot and buy a couple large bags of mulch and start that grass project all over again. I assume the grass I put down is not going to grow because I didn't cover it. I just couldn't remember how I did that last time I did it - which was many years ago. The point is that the mulch keeps the moisture in so that the seed stays wet at all times.
Since I'm going there, I will probably buy a few more Petunias and Stock to finish the effect out front. The flowers transplanted nicely - one flower out of all of that drooped over and died, the rest are doing perfectly well and putting out such a wondeful fragrance.
I just checked Caleb's Geometry grade after getting that 24 out of 25 earlier this week his overall average is a C- !!!! Yayyyyyy! A FAR cry better than an F!!! He's also done much better in his German class - I sorta gave him a hard time about that because he had F's in classwork and homework - now I am seeing 100% on both those current categories and he just got a B+ on a test this week. Anyway, he now has 4 B's and 2 C's in his classes.
I know it doesn't set well with some folk, but I am going to reward him for the obvious effort he is putting into getting his grades up. I'm not sure what yet, but I will think of something - probably a few bucks or a trip to the movies or something like that.
Ummm, anyway, I best be getting out and about.
Have a great Saturday!
ben
8 comments:
Wish I had read this blog first, as I much prefer to comment here rather than on kcl. Anyhow, I DID leave three comments on your 'other' blog, one of which might be slightly modified by what you said here, but not enough to matter.
Positive reinforcement is always preferred to negative according to psychologists' theory.
However, my interactions with our hound have taught me quickly that they need to be used together. Hard to reward good behavior when there isn't any, and it has proven VERY effective to use negative reinforcement quickly and forcefully to quell bad behavior.
He isn't perfect, but we didn't have him for his first year of learning things. And he sure is MUCH improved over a month or so ago. And he is funny and means well most of the time.
It's so hard to understand why someone would want to hang out with others who are into that sort of "smoke pot all day" lifestyle and there are not brightness in their day. I mean, I do know why as a professional, but goodness, it makes no sense to not want something much better.
And another thing...if I know you will post here, I will comment here instead of KCL. I have been commenting over there recently on L&S's page because that is his primary blog.
Fin, got your comments over there and responded. Dogs are dogs - they totally live for the moment. Positive reinforcement concerning my son - I do it sparingly and in the case of his grades, not at all in any recent memory. He has really gone to town in studying and getting himself better prepared for tests and not just the Geometry issue. I think an occasional showing of a little something isn't totally off the wall - just once in a while.
Wild: it makes no sense but that is human nature, doing things that are totally illogical and senseless at times. Michael is still a kid and really it's up to his parents to stimulate him in the right direction. Since they don't gave a rat's damn and actually supply the money for the habit, that pretty much dooms Michael if he cannot find it within himself to stay away from it. I mean, the whole family is into this kind of living, it's not just one person. I have tried over the years to instill something a little more normal into the kid, but his family is a strong pull and he always follows after their thinking on things. He is turning into a thief, a thing I simply won't tolerate in my house. They go broke, they go and steal, that's their standard, normal, modus operandi and Michael is catching on quickly to that kind of thinking.
Yes, I am posting here I just don't do it as frequently as the other blog. I've posted 4 or 5 entries, I think, here on this blog in the last 7 days, I would call that pretty regular posting.
ben
Yay, that's a great improvement !! Giving Caleb a small reward would be nice. I would say those are good grades!
I am sad about Michael and the work you put in to showing him an alternate lifestyle But be honest, it is more fun to play hookey and smoke dope and play video games than it is to go to school. And yes, he can NOT see the implications down the road even a little bit...college or military versus jail.
But like I keep telling another poster over there, sadly, untreated drug users do NOT improve due to lectures or threats of sanctions which are not carried out. It is a spiral that is heart breakingly easy to predict for the most part.
You tried. I hope you are willing to cut your losses awhile and not get sucked into any unpleasantness by association. He is not someone I would want my kid hanging with, and for sure not in my house. It would be SO easy for Caleb to just be there when one of them decides to hold up a convenience store for fun.
Well, what you are not saying here is the total lapse of parental involvement. In fact, a total reversal, a condonence of doing whatever because "we like to see our kids happy whatever that might be" according to his mother some years ago. Of course a kid that has been brought up the way Michael has and confronted with the options he has is going to go the route he is taking. And just as easily, the parents could force the issue upon him, but they don't care and this is the REAL problem here.
If I'm thinking of the person "over there" that you are talking about, there is a huge difference here in that Michael is a minor and that guy is not. You turn 18 and want to flake out, it's all on you. Until you get that age, you are under the roof - of whoever - and have really no choice. Well, that's the way I look at it anyway.
As far as Caleb is concerned, I was speaking to him about this situation today and he is totally not interested in Michael's doings and said so implicitly. Caleb has his own friends from school and also JD that lives down the street.
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