I thinkI accidentally deleted an entry while I was fooling around with trying to get the Great Dane entry right.  Oh well!

I have been thinking about this one for a while now and finally decided that I did enough for her and their family, I want my ATV back.  So, I wrote her a one line message politely asking her for it back.  No reply, so the next day I wrote her a 3 sentence paragraph - still polite- but getting a little more firm.  It doesn't belong to her, she has no legal claim to it, it's written right into the divorce orders as my property before we got married.

But, once I brought that up to my landlady she went off.  Valerie's been in 3 times this week and I have been trying to avoid her at all costs!  In where she works, that is. Val has an account there that she has been trying to finish off and get over with.  Well what's up?....I don't bring her name up around here anymore as I have put her out of my head and heart and am moving forward.  Well, she says Ben this and Ben that and all this about you all the time.  Really? lol, I had to laugh because she apparently thinks all of that is going to get back to me and then I'm going to what - get mad or something? She divorced me, it's over, I don't care anymore, I realy don't.

She had started hanging with her ex husband before we officially got divorced anyway.  Did I get mad about that? No.  I asked her about it, but that was all.  Her description of their interaction was likely false, but again, I don't care.  In fact, I actually told her, now that I think about it, that if she was really seeking God's will, she really had no good reason to divorce him in the first place.  The dude really seems pretty cool. I guess he doesn't always treat the kids right, but from what I have seen and heard, he has tempered that down quite a lot since they got divorced.  He makes 135k per year at a very kick back job that entails doing nothing more than watching computer screens and making sure the plant is running smoothly.  From a financial standpoint, she would do herself well to get back with him.  However, she is the endless victim - she has literally been victimized by everyone she has ever met including her own children and her best friends.

That is NO exaggeration, either.  I have literally sat there and listened to her complaining and going on about every single person that was ever important to her.

Whatever the case, I think I said in a pervious post that I have temporarily stopped looking for a lady, but in case that was the entry I deleted, saying it again.  It is just too much energy and time spent sending endless messages and getting much of nothing back. Many of these people have these accounts on these dating sites and they never check their messages.  I know because I had a premium membership to POF and it shows whether they've even been online, much less if they've actually seen or read the message.  I am in no hurry to make the same mistake as this last catastrophe.  I don't need another suicidal person, such as the lady that was over here 2 weekends ago who showed great interest in me - but - kept going off about how life sucked and how suicidal she is and if she didn't have a young daugher, she would have offed herself a long time ago.

I can sympathize with such people, I can talk to them about it, but having another relationship with a suicidal person? No thanks.  Everything is bad, according to them, there is nothing good in life.

Anyway, I have come down yet again with another reespiratory illness and it isn't pleasant.  I put off doing much of anything yesterday and today will be a nothing day as well excepting to watch the Steelers hopefully beat the Denver Broncos.  Not sure about that one, the Broncos are a force to be reckoned with this year and that should be an interesting game to watch.  One of our key players is out for injury - and that from a player that hit him hard after the fact.  I do hope they fined that idiot.

Anyway, my landlady bought a car just before I moved in here - getting rid of her pickup - and now decided she doesn't like the car and is getting another pickup. I can understand totally.  I really want out of my car and back into a pickup truck, but.....a decent truck is expensive, my car won't get much in trade in value and the payments will be high and likely 5 years.  I thought about taking out a 401k loan and getting a vehicle through that method, but then I hurt my retirement by taking out money that otherwise could be earning interest and dividends.

Of course, as time plows forward, more economists are jumping on the recession bandwagon saying it isn't if, it's when and likely worse than what occurred in 2008.  I'm really trying to hold out buying another vehicle, but I am severely limited by not having a pickup.  Hauling things to the house, hauling my 4 wheelers to an area where you can ride and ride and not worry about neighbors calling the police (which I don't do anyway, not worth the risk).  I've given some consideration to putting a hitch on my car but that's expensive because not only do you have to install a hitch, you really have to also beef up the rear suspension with airbags or extra springs.  For an old car, I don't know that the expense would be worth it.  So, I just sit here and contemplate it, but at the moment, doing nothing about it because it's truly wonderful not having those monthly payments and much higher insurance premiums.

Work is unchanged. We are being warned of a "firestorm" coming when the new manager takes over the beginning of February.  I will not stick around for an abusive manager.  I'll file a complaint with corporate if it is really as bad as several that know the man say it's going to be and if that gets nowhere, I'll be forced to start looking for new employment.  Some contractors who have known him for over 20 years love him and some of them say he's a total jerk.  I've given up on the raise, we obviously aren't going to get it.  That's another bridge I need to cross.  Stay or look for a new job? I've been looking.  There area several opportunities out there, but, you start at the bottom of the totem pole and have to work your way back up in terms of benefits such as vacation time.  It's a tough decision.  I'm putting it off to see what this new manager is going to be like.  He could be the tipping point to just say the heck with this, time to move on.   Just that I'm 51 years old and starting over at a new company isn't all that hot of a prospect for me. The only other thing I can do is go back to school - but - that costs money and though I would love to be doing something else, it would take at least 2 years to get a bachelor's degree.  It is an intriguing thought, though, one that I have also seriously considered, but then again, I have no idea what I would want to actually do.

Well that's enough for one entry. : )