Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Wednesday 1/19/2011

Wednesday

So begins yet another round of trying to find another tenant. On top of that, I remembered that the queen mattress that was in that room is now in another room, because that tenant wanted to use her own mattress in there. So, I am going to have to buy a queen mattress for that room now. 

Gag. 

Hope I can find a decent used one as a brand new one is out of the question. Okay, a surfactual glance under mattresses and I see a bunch of them on there, some of them in the price range I would be looking at and some of those are good mattresses. 

Not big on used mattresses, but a new one is out of the question. You can buy those cheap, junk, uncomfortable mattresses, sure, but that's the point, they are junk. They don't last long and doesn't exactly nurture a good sleeping environment.

Whatever the case, I have a couple of weeks to get that done. I'm a bit nervous about losing the trailer tenants. If they get the job, I no longer have eyeballs watching over my place during the daytime while at work. They don't have the job yet and are competing with 2 other couples that also want the job, the owners apparently wanted management to come up with the 3 best couples and then the owners are going to meet with all 3 and make their decision. I DO hope they get the job, I just hate to see them go. It will be a HUGE standard of living increase in having their own place, free, plus $1,300 per month salary plus free utilities. That's hard to beat, especially for people that were homeless. 

Not much else and my time is up.

G'day.

ben

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Tuesday 1/18/2011

So, I started writing an entry this morning but got caught up in other things going on, so, oh well.

The HAMP mortgage adjustment is apparently going through.  I was congratulated earlier today in a generic email and asked for more information, lol.  Oh, and sign a bunch of documents.  I can say that I read every word of the documents I was signing, oh yes, I did.  Nothing in there than what I already had learned about this program and fully expected, no shocks or surprises, I signed my life away, faxed it back to them, figure I will get more stuff as well.  I am now on a 3 month trial period - again as the modification I did last year.

Tenancy issues.  Always, always.

First and totally expected:  the female tenant that is never here is moving out at the end of the month.  I was happy to get the information 2 weeks plus before that date, not as the last guy, who handed me a money order and informed me he was moving out THAT DAY.  She is actually paid up through this week.  Amazing.  I am going to start running ads for the room today.

The trailer tenants - have been gone all day long.  Nothing new, they take off here and there.  The news is that they have interviewed for running a small apartment complex.  They made it through the first interview and have to go before the owners.  This might be the break they were hoping for - a salary, an apartment with free utilities.  They are using me as a reference and I am happy to recommend them.  I hope they get the position. I hate to see them go, but living in that trailer ..........well, I'm sure it is a motivating factor to get  a decent place to live and get life back in order.

I found a new doctor today.  I didn't look long.  It was based on location.  Yesterday was a dermatologist, today was a general practice deal - the person you go to with your life - the physical aspect of it - and hope she/he can figure it out.  I tell people I have skin cancer and they freak out. Maybe I should be far more alarmed than I am, but, I am not.  They cut it out, you're done unless it's the type that can spread.  Then, thet keep digging until it's ALL gone.

Earlier, I was outside cleaning out one of the pond filters.  It's quite the job, actually.  We're talking a large apparatus and it gets filled with fish crap and whatever else.  Not really nasty, just takes a while.  In fact, I wash out everything right over the top of plants - get that stuff into the ground, it's great fertilizer.  The neighbor's dog crashed down the partition, came over to the fence and started barking at me.  I said quite loudly: "Guess it's time to turn the music on".  10 seconds later, people were out there calling the dog and tell him  - in Spanish - to shut up.

Thank you.  I don't want to HAVE to turn on the music, just do the right thing and we won't have any more problems than we already have.

So now, I am potentially facing having the trailer tenants gone and all the stuff they do.   Meaning a lot more work for me.  I don't know that I want to find someone else to live in there, haven't decided that yet and they aren't gone yet.  If they do leave, well, I dunno.  Another great person or persons, sure, sleaze, slobs and filth, no thanks.

Today - has posed me enough to deal with, thank you.  I'm not stressing, but it was enough.  I don't want anymore, hope that's the end of it.

Good evening.

ben

Monday, January 17, 2011

The Dermatologist

I have never been to a dermatologist.
I am, admittedly, totally clueless here.
I would never have gone but I was told I needed to see one.
A dermatologist wants to mess with your skin, apparently.
Examine it with a giant magnifying glass; blast some freezing cold
junk at it; ask you a lot of questions about your exposure to sunlight;
ask if you have ever had skin cancer or anyone in your family;
use a lot of terminology I have either never heard before or have heard
but never investigated.

Honestly?  Walking in there, I got the sense right away that this is women's world,
not necessarily a place men visit.  I really had NO idea.  My answers to skin cancer
raised the alert status to the highest point, apparently.  Me, yes, one of my brothers, yes.

This lady had more bad news than a mosquito facing a fly swatter.
I went in there to find out what is going on with my face, not to find out that several "things"
on my arms are potentially more skin cancer.  I'm not saying that dealing with reality is a bad
thing, I just wasn't NOT prepared for the list of things coming at me.

She examined my face and told me it was swollen in several places.  She asked a LOT
of questions.  I answered as LOT of questions.  She believes my 35 years - minus some years
as a missionary in other states and in Mexico - and the fact that I rarely use sunscreen - is not helping
me, to put it mildly. She then suggested that she and I would become best friends.

Uh-huh.  At $50 co-pay per visit, I kinda doubt that.  However, I was open to everything she said, I received it, absorbed it and am pondering it.  She gave me 60 rated sunscreen protection and told
 me to use that from "now on".  Okay.  I didn't resist, just had some thoughts wandering around the
shelves in my brain attempting to collect any relevant information that might be stored there.

Pleasant woman, yes.  No, in terms of personality, a great visit.  In terms of the information given, I was
wondering what my life expectancy is.  She told me to stop, immediately, the use of facial anything that
has - whatever it is - in it. 2 different things.  She was spouting off terminology that apparently "most"?
people know? I am not stupid, I can guarantee you that, but in this realm, I can say I am not knowledgeable

She made it easy, there are only a couple of things on the market according to her that she recommends that doesn't have "those things" in it.  I call them things, she called them names.  I don't remember those names, but I'm sure in the next season of life, coming now apparently, I will be learning all of that.  Or, I will just not. I don't presume to necessitate the facility of having to know everything about everything.  Perhaps, in some cases, a professional and what they know is enough.

That sounds good, of course, but I am far too much of an inquisitive person to leave it at that.  I will do my homework, you can count on it.  You can BET on it.  I didn't doubt her, though and when I got home with
my "free" $50 samples, I cleansed my face with the special soap and then put whatever the facial cream
is over it and I can tell you right now, it feels MUCH better.

2 weeks from now? I am to go back.  She promised that several "things" were going to be removed from my flesh.  She also informed me that I would not be working 24 hours after that.  Yup.  I've had plenty of flesh wounds and kept on working.  The point was that bandaging would have to be placed over the removed flesh areas and - whatever.  It's 2 weeks from now.  I will ask for the next day off, cause' I was told I have to.

Let's face reality: she observed several areas on my arms that she believes are pre-cancerous.  I don't doubt
her.  I also don't doubt that I am going to spend as much money on visits there as it takes and take whatever
time off of work that I have to to get this in-check as much as is possible.

I am an outdoor person.  That's a big part of who benb is.  I like being outdoors.  It comes from my family and the lines.  We like being outdoors.  If you like being outdoors in the Phoenix, Arizona area and have for a good portion of your life, well, you have also been exposed to a great deal of sun and UV's and all that kind of terminology and yes, you might pay for it.

Just another reason I want to leave this area permanently.  I stuck here for now.  I don't want to be in this extreme heat and sun.  Blue skies are great, but you pay a price for it around these parts if you are light-skinned and of European descent.  Not a racial statement, just a statement of physiological fact.

G'nite.

ben

Monday 1/17/2011

Monday

Well now the real story has come out, or so it is believed, anyway. The Stuxnet worm was created by Israeli and US government. Lol. I find this highly amusing. Don't go over there and drop bombs on Iran's nuclear plant, just destroy it from within through a virus. The war of the future is here. No nukes, no missiles, no guns, just volleys of computer viruses.

Did you read or hear the story? Iran claims the damage was negligible, yet the Times story says something completely different: "The Times said the worm was the most sophisticated cyber-weapon ever deployed and appeared to have been the biggest factor in setting back Iran's nuclear march. Its sources said it caused the centrifuges to spin wildly out of control and that a fifth of them had been wiped out."

Absolutely amazing, the entire story was, not just that portion of it. 

Well, onto other things. My dad said that in Sierra Vista - not terribly far from Tuscon - there hadn't been any kind of memorial for the victims killed by a complete nutcase. So, he and his wife set one up, I think at the military base down there, invited the entire community out and yes, a lot of people showed up for it. 

Dear old dad. I remember thinking after that tragedy occured: I wonder if dad is going to do something in Sierra Vista about it. He wasn't going to, he's getting rather old and moving around/doing things is getting more and more difficult for him. So, reading his story of how he put it together and got it going was pretty cool, indeed. 

I'll be - his name is all over the local news down there and the event apparently was publicized. He did it out in front of Gifford's Sierra Vista office. 

Well, anyway, I have a doc's visit this afternoon, nothing else grandiose or great going on today. A couple of things to do in the truck routing system this morning - better than nothing.

Have a great day, folks, enjoy life while the enjoying's good to get......

G'day.

ben

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Direct TV - Yet Another "Encounter"

I don't care what company or entity it is, if they are raising rates in THIS economy, they can go jump in a lake.  That's putting it nicely, thank you.  That includes the City of Phoenix, which is not the subject of this entry, but will be soon enough as I intend on showing up at their next meeting where they intend to vote on ANOTHER 5% increase on water usage rates - they can not only jump in the lake that is filled with water I paid for through extreme taxation, they can drown in it, too.

What occurred today?  I got an email from Direct TV.  I usually delete them without even opening it, but this one caught my eye.  It said something different on the subject line.  I clicked on it to find a notice:  we are going to raise your rates next month whether you like it or not and we'd like to let you know in advance about our sticking a bat up your @$$ and there is nothing you can do about it.  Okay, it didn't say anything even remotely close to that, it did say that there are "rate changes" coming.  

My cynicism of this company relates back to the countless experiences with this company I have had over the phone - over a more than 10 year span of time.  I mean - countless.  I don't know how many phone campaigns I have had with them, I do know that 99% of the time, I win and they lose.  I had one such campaign that went on for 3 or 4 days, spoke to dozens of people, was ostracized by 1 supervisor and I even bet another supervisor that, in the end, I will get what I want.  I offered a wager of $100.  She refused.  She also said I would NEVER get what I was asking for.  That WAS her words.  Too bad I can't go back to that person and show her that I got FAR beyond what I was asking for.  $150 credit to my account on that one, besides a lot of other perks.

See? It isn't written in stone that you can't get anything from Direct TV and mostly, a LOT of other companies whose first-encounter personnel you speak with will tell you otherwise.  But, if you don't like confrontation, this isn't going to work for you. I don't really LIKE confrontation, I just don't like getting SCREWED even worse.

No, I haven't even described my encounter with a woman that obviously has serious issues in life that go far beyond talking to a customer that didn't want to talk to her.  That customer being me.

So, without further ado - and long-windedness - let's get to it.  I did, of course, immediately call Direct TV.  In 10 years of calling them - actually longer - I know what kind of reply I'm gonna git from the "1st Responder". CRAP.  Pre-scripted crap at that.  I was polite, respectful and amiable to this person I got on the line, but, after I got the "no, that can't and won't happnen" junk, I asked for her supervisor. Oh, no, my issue isn't with this particular person, I already knew what she was going to say and I knew the correct course of action to get beyond it.  She connected me with her supervisor and then I dug into the problem.  I also knew this person, a supervisor, also has no authority to do what I wanted, but I needed to explain it so I could get to the next department.

Yes, it's a process.  It's a learned process, I spent the time and the dime to get the knowledge, whether anyone wants to try it is their business, I'm only reporting my business as I am not a particularly private type of person anyway.

My explanation to the supervisor was enough to get me to the next level.  She explained that she couldn't do anything for me, but the next tier could.  Great,thank you and transferred to the wrong department.  I ended up with a woman that is the same person you would talk to when you first call in.  If you have a low-level problem, they can help you, when it comes to money, normally they can't or won't. I was not going to go through all of that again and attempted to explain to her that I was just on the phone with a supervisor - please get me your supervisor so I can get transferred to the right department.

The BS that came out of that woman's mouth when I asked to speak to management was more than I even expected to hear from Direct TV, and trust me, I have heard a LOT from them.  I could write a book.  She first got indignant that I didn't think that SHE could do anything for me.  I tried to explain to her that I had already talked to management and that I had been directed to the wrong department. At this point, she let off on me.  Bypassing that negativity - a lot of it - I put the phone away from my ear.  I will not take that kind of abuse from anyone, but especially a company that I am paying good money for their services and that, I am NOT disrespecting the person I am talking to.

Management please.  Management please.  I heard a lot of squawking in the phone, when it finally ceased, I then put it back up to my ear.  It was then that she conceded to get me to her supervisor......bypassing needless lengths of communication...........manager on phone.  It was obvious from the beginning with this person that, if nothing else, he was going to talk to me like a human, not a piece of trash.  I informed this individual of the conversation with the woman and that he is welcome to review the recording of it, if such is, indeed recorded.  He replied: "I have no reason to disbelieve you and I WILL deal with my employee accordingly".  I thanked him for that and we moved on.

My call was about the fact that I was not going to be paying more money for Direct TV and that IS a fact.  I am either going to get that waived or I am going to move on.   We are allegedly out of the recession -  a statement of belief that I do not find credible and that with no more than surfactual evidence to support that finding.  I could go into all of that, but, that is not this entry.  The man offered me a full year without that increased price structure plus $2 off - plus - Showtime, free for 6 months.

Thank you, yes, have a great day!  I neither asked for nor even thought that I would get such an offer.  We bid ados and that was that.

I have to say that I had no idea that I was even going to have the need to call Direct TV to day nor that I was going to get into it with a person that hasn't got a clue, or more likely, that her employer is getting what they are paying for, or beyond that, that I would get even more movie channels for free.   But, I will, of course, take it and that's that.

G'nite.

ben

Sunday

I was sitting here at my computer which is in my kitchen last night, minding my own business- doors and windows shut - neighbors dogs barking and barking and barking.  It had been going on all day long.  It was after 9:00 pm with no end to this crap in sight.  It is a freaking nightmare to have to live next to people like this.

Their house is an old mobile home.  In those homes, the walls are made out of aluminum and behind it is usually a thin layer of insulation with paneling for the interior walls.  The windows - after 30 plus years of being in existence - weren't that great of technology to begin with when they came from the factory - they tend to start leaking and they do not keep sound out.  I know this because I lived in one for 11 years.

The point is that if there is noise outside, it's coming inside with little resistance.  How they can live with those dogs barking like that, I have NO idea.  I have 2X6 construction with thick, upgraded insulation and double-paned, LowE windows.  The noise of their barking, which was, for some reason, being aimed directly at my house, was penetrating all of that and competing with the sound level of my television.  I do not watch that much TV, that isn't the issue.  Dogs bark, everyone knows this.  Dogs should NOT be barking all day and all night.  I have written about this situation on here before, the problem resurfaced recently and I have been listening to this s*** every day.

The problem is exacerbated by the fact that there is a chain link fence between their house and mine.  A block fence would tone the problem down quite a bit.  It wouldn't eliminate the sound altogether, but it would definitely help.  Too bad I don't have thousands of dollars to build a block fence.

Well, I had had enough.  I mean, it just clicked in my brain, I got up, went outside and shouted at the top of my lungs: SHUT those F******* dogs UP!!!  Yes, I used the F word,  a thing I don't like to hear or use and have no good excuses to provide here.  The bad excuse is that I was mad and getting madder.  Which isn't so great, either, but it is a living hell to have to listen to someone else's dogs barking 24 hours a day.  I am not exaggerating, either, those dogs were barking, nonstop all day long yesterday.

The guy is a total prick, I'm sure he took great pleasure in making life miserable for another human being, he attempts to do that frequently with whatever interactions that I see going on over at his house if it involves someone from the neighborhood.  I, however, took it a step further.  Got out the boom box.  Got out the step ladder.  Set step ladder up next to fence.  Put boom box on top of step ladder.  Aim boom box directly at their windows.  Turn boom box on to heavy metal rock.  Crank volume all the way up.  Go inside.  Forget about it.

That was the recipe.  I went out 2 hours later, turned it off and heard - nothing.  In fact, I didn't hear any dogs barking all night long.  Further, I only heard them barking for a few minutes this morning.  This is normal. Dogs have the charge to go ahead and bark at things - here and there, not 24 hours a day.  The boom box is still sitting out there, perched up high on it's ladder, waiting for further instructions.  So far, the instructions are to stay turned off.  That directive could change at any time, the boom box is on heightened alert.

You say it's childish.  It's - moronic - stupid - whatever, to do something like that to your neighbor.  Yes, perhaps it is.  However, if you had to live next to the kind of noise - AND - having had called the police; animal control; the city prosecutor's office, sent letters asking them to please do something about it - and have had that going on for about 2 years now - you might see things differently.  It's called walking a mile in another man's shoes.  In this particular case, I have shed all of societal restrictions imposed upon me for "civility" since this man next door has never heard the word civility or terms such as mutual respect and therefore, doesn't deserve any.  That's my opinion, of course, but I don't leave my dogs out all night long to bark ------ all .............night.............long.

In fact, if it continues, I am going to buy a BIGGER boom box that makes 3 TIMES the noise that the on I currently have.  That's very small of you.  No, actually, I don't think it is.  I think I have tried my best to pursue normal courses of action that most normal people would pursue.  I think that the line has been crossed: they simply don't care one way or another what kind of hell they are creating for anyone.  They are isolationists.  They will have NOTHING to do with anyone around here and if there IS any interaction, it is EXTREMELY negative.  I have seen it and been on the receiving end of it dozens of times now.  I think they can go piss off.

ben

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Saturday 1/15/2011

I have decided to go ahead and do it: use my Best Buy gift cards and whatever cash necessary to get Windows 7.  I can't stand the idea that I spent the money on the RAM for this computer and can only actually use half of it because of the limitations of Windows XP.  So, later on when they open up, I'm heading up there.

Meanwhile, Great Clips is having a sale on haircuts so I will TRY to get in there.  I hate going into any barber shop or hair salon if there are mega-people waiting.

Monday, I have an appointment to see a dermatologist to find out what, exactly, is going on with my face.  Red marks and itching, that's all I know.  The 3 other doctors before this didn't have a clue.  They take some kind of skin test, supposedly, to find out what the problem is.

Burning 4 copies of the memorial later on today and then calling my friend's wife to see if she is still up for visitors tomorrow.  I don't know, I think she said she was going in for surgery this week, don't really know if she's going to be in any condition for it or not.  She asked me to come over is the only reason I would call her.  The surgery?  Cancer in both breasts, she is having them both cut off.  What a thing to have to go through right after her husband dies.  She IS the type of person that likes to have people over all the time, is all I can say about that.

Cleaning.  Today is major clean day.  I have let a few areas go in the house and it's time to get them spic and span.  Already started that little diddy.

Gun control.  I hate even going into it.  They are proposing that any gun dealer along the border has to report "gun sales of two or more high-powered rifles sold within five consecutive business days" covering semi-auto rifles greater than .22 caliber with detachable magazines.  Lol.  Okay.  Start the process and eventually you have nationwide gun control, that's what something like this would do.  My opinion of course.

Ummmm, I'm going to get ready to go, maybe if I hit Great Clips when they open - which is right now - I might get lucky and not have to wait an eternity.  Worth a try!

ben

Friday, January 14, 2011

Friday 1/14/2011

Friday

Just have a few minutes here as I got sidetracked this morning by news and also doing this HAMP junk. The non-paying tenant -- well I was going to leave her a notice yesterday but I refrained, figured I'd give her until the weekend. 

She shows up yesterday, hands me 2/3rd's of this month's rent, asks if that's okay and that was that. The other one, who is slightly employed - she has a part-time job cleaning houses - handed me more money. Amazing what my wallet looks like when handed all of this cash.

Yes, I know, shouldn't be carrying around that much money and I intend on depositing it today along with my paycheck. The even better part of this is that the month isn't half over and I have almost all of the bills paid.

I REALLY want to get Windows 7 for my new computer, if there is enough left over after buying the Cap and Gown for my son for his graduation later on this year (you have to order early, I am told) and other household needs, I am getting it. 

I believe it's Sunday that I am driving back down to the town of Maricopa to visit my deceased friend's wife. I promised to burn 4 copies of the memorial for her so that she could have one, send another to junior and dunno what the other 2 are for. She keeps telling me how she's going to pay me for doing it, I keep telling her that's impossible, her money will not be accepted at my establishment. 

I don't really feel like driving all the way down there on Sunday, I can tell you that right now before Sunday even gets here. It will not be a long visit, I just want to get her the copies, visit for an hour or so and then leave. She really wants and probably needs people around her right now, fortunately she has lots of family that's doing just that, but I don't want to lose contact with her.

Well, that's it. I have a delivery that apparently HAS to be there before 7am, apparently my manager pulled that order yesterday after I left work and it's ready to go. Hence, I must depart.

G'day.

ben

Thursday 1/13/2011

Thursday

Picking up where I left off yesterday, more like slightly altering the path, I just got done through reading that this year will be the WORST yet since the housing meltdown. I have heard this for about a year now, I finally have seen it in print. 

Ahh, yes, and there are a number of junk mobiles in my neighborhood, a thing that I had considered - moving into one of those - but have now since decided that being a landlord and renting out rooms in my current house versus moving out and into a pathetically nasty old mobile home - not very palatable. 

Actually, there is one for sale that has BEEN for sale for well over a year now. I don't know what they want for it or if it might be owner carry, but it is actually in decent shape from the outside with a chain link fenced yard. 

Well, I'm not going there - yet. 

I was watching the "Memorial" yesterday, perhaps I shouldn't start dousing it with water, but I have never seen a memorial that sounded more like a political rallying party. I mean, I just went to a memorial, it was somber event, I just didn't quite get that last night, as if the people in attendance had been instructed to hoot and holler and shout like a person that just won the lottery. 

Well, anyway, I am going to go for the HAMP thing even though it isn't going to help very much. It isn't going to hurt anything, either. I do understand now why so many people say they didn't qualify for it: you have a short window of time to fill out their form and get it back to them. If you don't get it back in time, your application is cancelled and you do NOT get a second chance. This, anyway, coming from the individual I was talking with yesterday. The reports I have seen, and much of it directed at Bank of America who is not, thankfully, my lender, is that people would send in the required paperwork and later find out that BofA didn't receive it, somehow. You might expect that along the way, SOME paperwork gets lost in the system, but hundreds or even thousands of people? 

BTW, the stats given today is that 5 million homes are at least 2 months behind in mortgage payments. It's just the fact that this economic environment we are in is far from over. Arizona, and most notably the Phoenix area, already has a glut of empty, vacant homes. Add thousands more to that? 

G'day.

ben

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

HAMP vs Modification

I was not given the greatest of news today when I called the mortgage company and started discussing the options available  After endless - and I do mean seemingly endless - questions about whether I'm living in the home, planning on staying in the home, on and on, income this - stuff I have already answered to these people 3 times in the last month, we got down to brass tacks.

Well, first, she put me on hold for 20 minutes.  Not an exaggeration, I was on hold for a LONG time while she was reviewing my file.  When she came back on, she told me HAMP would only help me by reducing the monthly payment by $100.

I had a lot of questions. Why?  Based on your income and that the amount you pay for the house will be no more than 31% of that.  It is, as always, based on GROSS income, not the amount you are taking home after all the deductions.  This, I think, is a load of BS.  Taxes, health insurance, I mean, a lot is taken out before I get my pennies out of it, but, that's the way it's structured.

I asked again why such a small amount, does it not reduce my interest rate?  NO.  HAMP does NOT reduce your interest rate if it is a FHA loan, which mine is.  I'm at the lowest rate I can get through FHA at the "current market rate", I found out today, presuming I was being told the truth.  I do not, however, presume anything when it comes to these lenders and all the crap that has come out about them over the last 2 years in how they are dealing with their customers.

Okay, dear lady, WHAT, exactly DOES HAMP do?  I mean, seriously.  They reduce the principle amount of your mortgage to the level that it brings your payment to 31% of your income.  That which is left over - the amount over that - is put as a lien against your home, or something similar to that, according to this lady, held by the FHA.  It is interest free, but has to be paid off when you sell your home or if you are going to pay it off.

I was completely unimpressed,because, the last time I did the modification, it dumped thousands of more dollars onto the loan for "fees" and junk.  She then started to talk short-saling.  It's kind of a bad word-term with me, because I have thought through the potential with that:  lose your home, move onto a rental property, lose your dogs, ponds, lifestyle basically.  Where am I going to live?  A rental house?  An apartment?  Wherever it is, it is on someone else's terms, not mine.

Her final "option" was to pay up current the account.  Whatever, lady, I  have played this game for a while now, I understand that as long as I can keep making the payments, even if 2 months behind, your company isn't going to come throw me out.  I didn't say that, instead I had more questions.  I got to the point where I said I would have to think about it.  HAMP is nothing like I expected it to be from what I have read.  Why it isn't explained in much greater detail so that a person considering it will know in advance what it is about, I have no clue.

About the time we were going to disconnect, I wondered, how much IS administrative fees going to cost?  Nothing.  Your loan modification, yes, you are going to have fees dumped onto your loan, with this, nothing.  That changed my mind instantaneously.  But then I was told it would start the clock fresh: 30 years all over. Hmm, 3 years lost, not that much.  

Somebody correct me if I am not seeing something here, but what have I got to lose?  No money for fees - or anything - added to the loan.  30 years, okay, I lose the 3.  But, I am now paying interest on a loan 25k less than what it is now.  The lien is interest free and will stay that way indefinitely.  The house CAN be sold, trust me yes, I asked, with that lien on there, it just has to be paid off at time of sale, ie: monies paid to purchase the house.  I stay on the property, I pay more than $100 less per month because they didn't have stuff on there that I am paying out every month, which affects the reduction, but I don't know how much yet, I see no down side to this.

Here's something else, though.  The lady across the street has cancer and wants out of her house.  She can't sell it, no-one has the money to pay cash for it.  It's an old mobile home that needs work.  Yup, I have done that work before - all of it actually - including tearing down paneling type of walls and replacing it with drywall, tearing off metal roofing and putting on huge patches, all kinds of stuff.  Been there, done that.  The only thing I don't like is that house probably has aluminum wiring, the same s*** that burned my other house down.

Have to finish this some other time.  I was talking on the phone with the widow of my deceased friend - yes I called her to find out how she's doing and though she is doing better, the conversation got to intense levels.  I can't finish this entry in the same frame of mind that I started it, so it is finished.

ben

Wednesday 1/12/2010

I wrote this entry this morning, submitted it, half of it disappeared.  Sorry for the fragmentation, but I usually do NOT re-write entries ad today is not going to be any different.  

On her Facebook wall, she was bragging that there is only one other person - at level 527 I think she said, above her on her list. I'm at level 355 currently. She is a newer neighbor and apparently doesn't know my competitive nature. I was not only peeved at Zynga for giving her that incredibly unfair bonus bonanza, I was also getting a bit peeved at this woman going around bragging about all of this. NO WAY should have Zynga EVER given her THAT much points for the issue she was having. Maybe a couple of levels worth, but that many?

Sunday, after I got whatever else done and not feeling well anyway, I spent a couple of hours leveling up, passing her and leaving her in the dust by 2 levels above her. I fully expected her to level up even more and by the time I got home yesterday, she was up 4 levels above me. Lol. I leveled up 9 levels yesterday, passing her and leaving it at 2 above her.

I was shocked this morning to find that I am STILL 2 levels above her. I mean, how do you compete with a person that doesn't work, apparently has nothing else to do in life but play one single game? Sometimes, you just play it out for a while and see if you can get them to back off, ie: you have played the same game they are in leveling up, they quit the race and go back to normal game play.

I doubt that has happened yet with this woman and if it goes on too long, I will back off myself as I have plenty of other stuff I would rather do than sit on a computer playing a game all day long. Still, it's fun to make a person eat their words, lol.

In fact, speaking of other things, my new hummingbird feeder came in the mail yesterday!! And she's a beauty!! It is made with copper, it's absolutely gorgeous. I want to hang it right in front of one of the windows so I can have an up-close view of any hummingbirds that might come to enjoy it's fake, man-made nectar.
Well, they love that stuff is all I can say and they are still fighting over the feeder I already have out there. Hopefully, this will help to alleviate some of that problem. This feeder is huge but only has 3 portals for them to feed off of. Which is okay, usually don't see more than one at a time anyway, if another one comes to feed, they end up flying off in a bird-fight and one comes back while the other might be seen in a fence a bit away.

Tenants. Always issues with tenants, yes? Whatever. The Army Reservist is currently 12 days past due on rent, hasn't spoken a word about paying it and I am assuming must have blown her money on her Christmas trip home to Alabama. That's just nice. Lovely even. Not a single word about the rent and we have talked several times since she got home. I have no choice but to leave a friendly notice. If that gets no response, a blunt, legal-type notice after that. I leave it up to the tenant to talk to me about the rent, I shouldn't have to go running around after these people asking them where the money is.

So, the reversal in this is the other female tenant who is always behind, she showed up while I was at work yesterday, left money under the door in my bedroom and got almost caught up. It's a strange world, I'm telling you.

G'day.

ben

Anonymous said...

........for clarification's sake, the first part of my "comments entry" disappeared into cyberspace, even though it originally showed that it had posted. I don't have time to rewrite it and probably will only add enough to make the first part of this posting make sense.
ben

Anonymous said...

Umm, but I was discussing a situation in Cafe World where a neighbor was given enough Cafe Points to level up 27 times instantly, which put her ahead of me. So, as is my want, I spent the last 2 days shooting her bs all over the internet down. Not by saying anything at all about it ot her or anyone else, but by being a thorn in her side and continuing to level up quite a lot for the last 2 days in getting ahead of her, until she gets ahead of me, back and forth it goes.......
ben

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Tuesday 1/11/2011

Tuesday

I had no doubt that the shooting in Tucson, AZ would raise the age old debate over gun control. The question one must answer when starting to talk about "taking away the guns" is, in this particular situation: would gun control have kept a gun and ammo out of this man's hands?

No, no and no. Gun control, if ever implemented, will never work. The black market will sell as many guns as the criminals want or need and there is nothing to dispute that. Since that's the case, the only thing gun control will do is take guns out of the hands of law abiding citizens. If you think this society is unsafe now, just take the guns away. Give 'em only to law enforcement and see what happens.

The idea that Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin or Glenn Beck are responsible for this man's actions is unbelievable bile. I don't listen to Limbaugh, I used to but I got tired of the monotones. I occasoinally listen to Beck, who speaks of peace, not violence and there is nothing I have ever heard coming out of Palin that suggests that if we don't like what our elected officials are doing, we should just go out and shoot them. While we're at it, shoot everyone else around them. It is hard to imagine where these people come up with these ideas, but it is the junk that is being spewed out all over the place.

I'd like to get off the subject, but I find it difficult to do so. The idiots with mouths that have the media attention are spouting off all over the place and it's just short of maddening. If anyone is inflaming the public, THESE people are at fault.

Okay, off the subject. The only good thing I can really do is pray, seek the Lord and ask that His will be done.

Today, I "get" to go down through the area where I keep getting pulled over and getting warnings. I mean, what is going to happen today?....I ask myself. They're "just" warnings, but I know the company doesn't like it. It is usually the case that people that don't drive trucks don't understand what goes on when driving when, the legalities that must constantly be on one's mind while driving one and the consequences of getting pulled over by Highway Patrol when they decide they want to do "an inspection". I have understood for 25 years that if you are pulled over by them, they are going to write you up for SOMETHING. They ALWAYS do.

Anonymous said...

It's as if they feel they MUST give you a hard time. I dunno, but today I will have my camera on hand. If I get pulled over again, for what I do not know - they just pull you over and the reason is described in the rules: it is implied consent. You are driving a commercial vehicle, you can be pulled over at-will - anyway, I'm probably not going to just sit there and politely take the abuse. Enough is enough. Respectful, yes, but I'm not going to let them roll over me again.

I forgot to call the mortgage company back, so I'm doing that today. I turned in the required documentation. They told me they won't call me, I need to call them. Great, the call will be made and I will either find out what I qualify for, or, at least get the ball rolling. Or, I don't qualify for anything, sorry Mr. BB, you're stuck.

Then, I will have to make the decision as to whether it is worth staying in a home that is around 60k underwater. I keep putting that decision off because I keep trying to get something - anything - ELSE done. They are not giving out principle reductions, I have asked dozens of times, I always ask: are you giving out reductions yet? Just curious, you are going to take more of a loss than that, well not really with federal guarantees I guess, I don't really know how that works especially with an FHA loan - they always tell me no, they aren't. Yet, I don't know that for a fact. I don't ever get beyond the first tier of personnel or at most, the second. I haven't really TRIED to get beyond that.

A seemingly age-old problem that seemingly won't go away. Unfortunately at that.

Not much else in my world currently. I am going to call my now-deceased friend's wife and see if she wants to go to church this Sunday. She said she wanted to, I'll ask and see how she is doing. I doubt very well. 48 years of marriage, their lives were inextricably intertwined with each other on a daily basis. To lose one half of that has to be devastating. Worse, their anniversary is coming up on the 10th of next month. I know the kind of emotion that pulls out in a lady, my mother went through it for YEARS after her last man died of cancer. Anniversary would come around and that particular day was a day of grieving. This will still be quite fresh, gonna have to talk about getting some people around her that day and at least offering support.

As for this entry, it's done and history, cause' my time's a runnin' out.

G'day.

ben

Monday, January 10, 2011

Monday 1/10/2011

Monday

The news is still full of this story of the congresswoman that was shot, but now, the newest angles are that this shooter was a nutcase, basically. This is going to play out for a while. The surgical team/hospital where she is at says they are going to do updates every morning at 10:00 am (Mountain Standard Time) I will be listening for that this morning. 

Onto other things. The winds of change are coming. I'm not talking about the world, the state, politics, I'm referring to myself. I have no idea WHAT, exactly, I can just feel it. I've noted this kind of thinking and feeling in the past and shortly thereafter, something occured or some sort of dramatic change in my life and the direction it is going occured.

No, I'm not a nutcase with a gun about to go whacko, thank you very much. We're not talking death and destruction, or I certainly hope not anyway. You get on one track in life and it goes on for a while and then, the tracks change and you are headed somewhere else, doing something else. That's all. It doesn't necessarily mean anything great. That's all I'm going to say about it in this blog until/if/when something happens.

Watched NFL football yesterday, nothing fantastic going on there. Packers showed early that they might take the win and that's what happened. Steelers next weekend, that's the game I'm interested in - would be cool to see them go another round at a Superbowl - though I'm sure non-Steelers fans don't favor that idea at all, lol. "They already have enough Superbowl rings" is a sentiment I have heard a lot. Yes, but one more would be even nicer!

Here's an interesting one: 2 brothers being deported from Colorado given another year by a judge to remain in the states. They are allegedly illegal aliens. The interesting part is that both of them served in our nation's military during the Vietnam era. Personally, I don't care if you're from the planet Zoid, if you serve in our military and have an honorable discharge, you're a citizen. You gonna pay that kind of price, you deserve to be a citizen. 

Just wandering around the news this morning, the biggest thing on my plate for today is a LOT of work to get done. Several deliveries, several pickups and then another delivery. Should make the day zoom by, which is a good thing.

Speaking of that, work day almost here.

G'day.

ben

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Sunday 1/9/2011

It wasn't shocking,exactly, that a House member was shot and almost killed not 100 miles from where I am sitting.  But it was repulsive and maddening to find out a 9 year old girl was also shot and killed in that melee, especially after reading about her life and what she was involved with.  Not that the representative's injury to her head is any less significant, it just makes it that more sickening that this "man" would take out a little kid.  I fully expect the death penalty whenever this gets to court, litigation is over and the jury gives it's verdict.

This situation has engulfed the nation's news - as should be expected.

Onto other things.  One of the large Koi jumped out of the pond last night and was found kaput this morning.  Koi are known to do that.  Why, I have no idea, but it isn't something that surprises me anymore after reading about it all over the internet and talking with people that have had their own fish jumping out.  This one was about 12 inches long and huge.  Not the biggest fellow, though, there are 4 other Koi in that pond that are MUCH larger than this one.  I hope they never take that course of action.

I have been feeling ill all weekend long, but feeling a bit better now.  Getting up for work in the morning is going to be fun, I'm sure.  I have done much of nothing this weekend and glad that I have taken it easy.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Satuday

Drainage going down the back of my throat half the night last night and now?  Feeling very crappy, indeed.  Hard to breath.  Going to have to buy a "dryer" today in case it happens again tonight - meaning the stuff that helps stop that kind of drainage.  I may even have to go to an Urgent Care center to make sure this isn't going to get carried away.  Not sure about that, our health care plan just changed and I don't know which centers take this insurance.

Cooking the other Standing Rib Roast I bought in November.  Serve with baked potates, peas, salad and gravy.  That will be the end of it.  I am going to buy a lot of chicken for a while now and eat that stuff, made up whatever different kinds of way I can find to make it, besides those recipes I already know.

I dunno, I was going to write up a "normal" entry by my standards, but on second thought, I don't feel like it.  Instead, I am going to go up to the store, buy some medicine and other things I need and probably take it easy this weekend.  Combine feeling sick with the aftermath of a funeral that really has hit me a bit harder than I was at first willing to admit, some down time is in order.

G'day.

ben

Thursday, January 6, 2011

The Memorial Service For My Friend

I showed up about 20 minutes early.  I didn't want to miss anything, plus it was about 25 miles from my house and just wanted to make sure I didn't encounter a traffic snarl or something to hold me up.

My now-deceased friend's name is Boe, his son is Boe Jr., who greeted me and brought me up to the front.  I hugged Josie, she was teary-eyed - obviously - said God Bless you and moved back for others to shower attention on her.  This was an outdoor service, they all are there - you can't shoot rifles inside a building, not like THAT anyway.  They have "shelters" where the service is performed. It's open air but it has a cover and cement type benches.

Well, anyway, I started looking at the pics.  I had never seen a pic of my friend when he was young.  There was one of him when he had started in the Marines - at the age of 17.  Boe's daughter, Carla, came up and we were talking.  She said she had wished that they could make a video of the service but no-one has a cam-corder.  No, but I remembered that my digital camera is in the car and I just freshly recharged it.  I ran back to the car, got it out and started deleting videos I had on there.  I wanted to make sure I did not run out of memory space and those videos I had on there were nothing special.  Most of them aren't.

I came back and stood in the back. Boe had a lot of friends, but, there were about 30 people there.  Boe Jr. comes to the back just before the ceremony started and invited me up to the front: Josie wanted me up there and Boe Jr. said his dad would have wanted me there, too.  I was a bit overwhelmed by the honor I was given, but, honestly, Boe and I were VERY close friends.  I didn't expect that, but I followed him to the front and sat down in a bench off to the side.

I was astounded by this military ceremony.  I have seen such on TV, I have never experienced anything like this in person.  It was amazing, beautiful and graceful.  The American Legion personnel were standing up front and they recited a poem and some prayers out of a book.  But it was "automated", these men were there because they wanted to be there, not because they felt compelled, at least, I certainly got that impression.

Meanwhile, about 100 feet away and off to the side of the ramada, is what I will call it, 21 men fell into formation, rifles in hand.  A bugler, standing well off to the side, also fell into formation.

When the 3 up front got done, they motioned for 2 - Marines I guess, I don't know - obviously military - came walking up.  But it wasn't aloof walking.  It was slow and it was purposed.  Walking in graceful, perfected strides, it was a sight to behold.  The came up before the 3 at the front and saluted them.  It was  a slow, fluid movement.  Timed perfectly, the 2 had their hands going up to their forehead and back down in perfect alignment with each other.  One of them took the flag that was next to the urn full of my friend's ashes and slowly, purposefully inspected it, then the 2 turned towards each other as if they were a machine, it was that perfect.

They slowly began to unfold the flag.  My friend loved flags, he was always flying the U.S. flag out in front of his house.  When it was fully unfurled, the 21 men with rifles got into position and at command, fired of a volley - almost exactly at the same time.  Another command, another volley, this time it WAS all at the same time and VERY loud.  The 3rd time the same.  Then, the lone bugler began playing taps.  There was nothing flimsy, unprofessional or monotone about any of this.  His performance on the bugle was perfection as much as anything else there.  There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

He finished and the 1 holding the flag began methodically folding the flag back up.  Slowly, I mean, there was nothing rushed about any of this.  He wiped off the dust with his white-gloved hand on each fold.  Each fold was meticulously pleated by hand and tucked sharply.  When done, he handed the flag to his comrade, did another very slow and methodic salute, and then walked off the same way he had walked in.  He walked about 50 feet away, stopped, did an about-face and stood there, looking on. You can see this stuff on TV all you want, it is nothing like experiencing it in person.  The other Marine  took the flag, went to Josie, got down on one knee and spoke in a whisper to her.  I have no idea what he said, whatever it was, it was for her and her alone.  I wasn't sitting far away, it was just whispered.  He then got up, saluted her, turned, and walked off the same as he had walked in.

The 3 at the front also departed after one of them declared this was the end of the military rites.  A minister came up as well as a friend, and that was the end of it.

It is one of the most amazing things I have experienced in any recent times.  A little girl, however, wasn't so happy.  That was one of Boe's grand daughters who was balling.  She loved Boe and always wanted to be go to their house to visit.  I went up and hugged Josie and the rest of the family again.  Josie asked if I wanted to come to her house.  Yes, of course.  They treated me like I was a family member.  I'm not going to sit here and say that tears did not flow out of my eyes today.  I was a bit afraid to drive that old car to their house, from north Phoenix to the town of Maricopa, a pretty good drive.

I spent about 5 hours with them.  There was good food, some reminiscing, the little 11 year old girl and her little sister came up to the table after everyone had left.  I mean, it was quite a while before they left, but Josie did not want me to leave with them, so I stayed for several more hours.  We played Uno - lol - and then some other card game I can't remember the name of.  At around 4:15, I finally left.  Josie was tired and so was I - this kind of thing just takes it out of me.

I got home and now have uploaded the video to my computer.  I was not necessarily concerned about what it would turn out like at the time of taking it. I aimed it in the general direction, looked at the screen a few times to make sure it was getting it all in, but I was totally immersed in the moment and that camera wasn't necessarily a priority.  So, when I got a chance to look at it, I was pleasantly surprised that it had turned out as well as it had.  They wanted me to burn a CD of it, but, I can't.  The Kodak digital camera records in .mov and I find out that burning a .mov file to CD?  You have to convert it to a different format. I have spent an hour - more like 2 hours - trying to download free software to make that happen.  On my third download, it actually worked - until I played it.  Sound only, no video.

Normally, I upload my videos to YouTube, I don't try to burn them to CD's, so this was new territory. I haven't got it yet, either.  In fact, I may just take the memory card out of the camera and take it somewhere and pay to have a couple of CD's burned. I'm sure there must be someplace that does that.  I apparently can pay for real player service to burn the CD, but I'm not there yet.  I'll do whatever I have to, of course, to get the thing onto CD, that service I think is $29.99 to do it on my computer.

The day is over.  I'll deal with that tomorrow.  In fact, I'll just take the camera with me to work tomorrow and see if I can find some place that does that and drop it off on the way home.  Or, I may just pay the price and get the upgrade to real player.

Oh, and I can't upload this to youtube.  It is 22 minutes long.  I think there is another online forum that you can upload longer stuff, I don't remember what it is.  I might do that instead.  Or both.  Who knows.

G'nite.

ben

Thursday 1/6/11

Heading out to the funeral in about an hour.  I haven't been to one in several years.  I don't expect to spend much time there, either, long enough to visit with his wife, watch the ceremony and then leave.  His wife will be surrounded by family and I am not going to interfere with that.  The thing is really just his ashes being brought to the cemetary and put into whatever they call those shelters for ashes.  He didn't want to be "spread out" anywhere, instead, his wife expects one day to be beside him in the form of a urn filled with her ashes.

Gruesome, I guess, but death is a real part of our lives.  I am glad that I don't have to do this very often, I can say that.

Anyway, I'm getting my clothes ready and such, so, I'm outta here.
ben

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Wednesday

Wednesday

Pretty eiree stuff. A Philippino councilman is taking a photograph of his family on New Year's eve. In the photo, you can see a man behind them to their right with a gun pointed at the councilman's head, who is taking the photo. The man shoots the councilman seconds later and the councilman dies.

It was looking into the eyes of the killer that was the spooky stuff. Never seen a pic like that before.

Anyway, yesterday was my 5-year anniversary with my company. So, my company gives me 13,000 perk points. Sounds like a lot, right? Lol, well, you can't buy a whole lot with it. They have their own, online catalog, it's huge. I was going through it, couldn't find anything I would want, even lower priced stuff still wasn't accessible with the money.

The thought struck my mind, I wonder if they have any hummingbird feeders? I was going to get another one anyway, maybe I can get one for free. Amazingly enough, they had 8 different feeders listed in there and I had enough points to buy the most expensive one, which is a pretty cool looking thing if I do say so myself.

No idea when it's going to arrive, but the catalog is a conundrum of products sold by all kinds of different retailers. This feeder, I found out, is coming from Sears. I haven't been in a Sears store in years. It's amazing they have survived this economy, I thought they weren't doing so well, but I guess they have managed to eek by.

Hmmmph. Well, I was a bit surprised to go into the truck routing system and find all kinds of stuff in there to do today. One order with thousands of feet worth of pipe and a couple of other, much smaller orders.

I'm kind of dreading and looking forward to the funeral tomorrow at the same time. My friend's body has been incinerated, there will just be ashes there tomorrow. As I said before, I'm not very good with death. We all die, yes, but I can fall apart at a funeral pretty easily. I've been to plenty of friend's funerals - especially when I was a teenager watching my friends die all around me. Sounds strange, doesn't it, going to friend's funerals as a teenager - those people that died being teenagers or early 20's themselves. Much of it was painted with hokey, religious junk. It had nothing to do with the real God because those people had nothing to do with the real God and quite honestly, at the time, neither did I. I count myself very fortunate that I have lived this long and that the I found the Lord, or more like it: He found me, before my appointment with death arrives. I hope that appointment isn't too terribly soon, I would like to watch my son growing up, going into his adulthood. My parents didn't help me at all at the age he is going into - perhaps I didn't deserve any help but at the same time it made life extremely difficult. I suppose that's what I needed at the time: a good kick in the ass and a boot out the door. It certainly toughened me up, I can say that for a fact. Living in the back of a station wagon and then progressing to living in various rental rooms until finally going on the mission field after giving my life to the Lord - and THAT in itself is a book's worth of experiences.

And much of what I experienced on the mission field? You wouldn't believe my stories if I told you. A normal person would brush me off and say that didn't happen and it's impossible. Ohhhh, contraire: God IS real and He is still in the miracle-making business, I've seen it time and time again.

That is what the death of anyone close to me does in me: brings out thoughts of God, eternity and where we're headed, cause, Frank and Jane, if you don't know, I can pretty much tell you and it isn't a very pleasant place. It mostly causes me to do a lot of introspection and even a realigning of my life and the direction it is headed in, which this time around? Certainly no lack of those ideas floating around in my head.

Oh, and let me throw this out there: simply because you don't believe that there is a God or a heaven and hell does not, therefore, eliminate the fact that all 3 not only exist, but as real as the air that you can't see but are breathing right now. Jesus Christ - my Lord and My savior - is knocking at the door of your heart. Let Him in, he won't hurt you, he's not a thief or a bandit coming to steal from you.

I'll get off the podium now, haven't been on one in a long time.

The work day is here. I slept very well last night, amazingly enough. I mean, I woke up once and went right back to sleep. That is not a normal thing for me, no, it is not. The newest tenant paid me in full for the entire month. He had given me $100 to start and then the rest yesterday. The Army Reservist is nowhere in sight. It's getting later and later in the month. I'm going to wait until tomorrow - strike that, tomorrow has enough for the day with that funeral - this weekend and if she doesn't show up or at least call, I'm going to have to post the dreaded notices. In this case, a notice of abandonment. I took my frozen Standing Rib Roast that I bought in November on sale out of the freezer. I figure to cook that this weekend. After that, I am going off of red meat for quite a while. Chicken and turkey will be my mainstay, which it normally is anyway, but this holiday season I went overboard with the red meat stuff and you know they say eating too much of that simply isn't good for you. It isn't a New Year's resolution, it is a lifestyle for me. Eat as healthy as possible, which is why I usually, not always but usually, eat my lunch at Subway so I can have the sandwich made to order without all the calorie laden dressings and junk put on to it. I only made one resolution this year: start working out again, which I have started at a slow pace, but never-the-less, I have started.

The stuff about the Lord cannot be a resolution, as resolutions can be easily forgotten and put onto a shelf. No, that is also a lifestyle thing, something you implement because you want to, need to and have to. It is as much a matter of life and death to me as is my beating heart.

With that, I bid you g'day.

ben

 Saturday - late afternoon I did not get up early since I had second load and was really deep in sleep again.  Like, this all seems to have ...