Strandeed in Dallas, Tx.  This is no fun.  Plane took off late in Phoenix. Why?  Because the freaking jetway was STUCK to the airplane.  They couldn't dislodge and ordered all passengers off of the airplane.  I am not going to try and fix the errors that this keyboard is giving me so that's my excuse in advance.  Anyway, a third of the plane FULL of people got off and then they said get back on! Well, you know how people are, some anyway, well a lot, oblivious to the world.  Take your sweet old time, take 2 minutes to put a bag into an overhead bin that should take you 5 seconds at most.  It cost us in time, we were forty five minutes late leaving.

When we finally landed, I had thirty minutes to get off that plane, get on a tram and get over to the correct gate.  Nothing was working.  People who didn't have connecting flights were instructed to stay in their seats to let those that didn't have connecting flights off first.  No-one cared, of course so since I was near the back of the plane, I was screwed.  Got out of that and to the tram and realized my gate was clear on the other side of the airport.  Those trams at DFW move fast, but not fast enough.  I got to the exit, got off, ran to the gate to find they had just shut it, pulled the jetway away and the plane was sitting there.

They couldn't have cared less. Even if it was their airline's fault that I was late.  Nope, we can't do anytihng for you and the next available flight isn't available until twelve thirty today!  NO WAY.  Valerie was like, nuh-uh, I am coming to get you and she did.  Meanwhile I was making endless calls.  They gave me the boarding passes and free food voucher and a free night's stay at a Marriot and I got the bleep out of there and got to the hotel .  Even if a short stay, FAR better than sitting at that airport for hours.  Got my free dinner, got in my room and almost fell asleep.  .

Val showed up and we drove back, almost 3 hours drive.  Didn't get into town until three am, I knew I would feel like shit today and I wasn't let down.  But no way am I missing that job interview, I don't care how I, I am going and that's that.  She's all over it too, she knows that getting a job determines when I can move out there.

So, I am \sitting at Denny's in Longview, drinking massive amoiunts of coffee and she is heading over with the 3 little ones, should be here pretty quick.  I haven't seen those kids in four months and they like me and I like them, little kids are fun to be around - well no always but usually they can be quite entertaining. The older ones are all at school.  We have nothing planned for after the interview so I am guessing I am going to want to take a nap this afternoon. In fact, I may just break down and do a hotel for one night to ensure a good night's sleep cause' tomorrow? It's going to be quite the day starting with  pinewood derby in the morning and cruising the rest of the day with activities and getting ready for the bonfire tomorrow night.  I just need a good night's sleep for that.  Though I don't doubt that I will get on after last night.  Just that going to bed at 3 am? It doesn't matter what time you get up, at least me, not going to feel one hundred percent, maybe later on and catch a second wind or something.

Actually, the airline did offer to fly me out to Shreveport last night, which is where the interview is, but she wanted to see me so strike that.  Probably would have worked out better for all of us though.  I would be there right now and she could come and get me at the appointed time, take her and the kids to that science place and then head over to the store to meet up with the store's manager.

But oh well.  The airline wouldn't concede anything, either, until i got a supervisor on the line with whatever department I was on with.  She offered me a one hundred buck voucher which I took, better than nothing.  Actually, if they would have kept the gate open until they said it would close, I would have been on that plane and none of this would have happened. They did not and now all this garbage.

Well, make the best of this situation and move on.

Gotta get my mind in the right place so I can have a good visit with that manager.

G'day.

ben

So, at 10:05 tonight, that little jet will be landing in Tyler, TX and I will finally get to see my lady again!  And I haven't seen the kids since New Year's and there is a lot of stuff going to go on packed in these next 5 days, so hold on to my hat and git along with it!

So am I forgetting anything?  The quintessential question that pokes itself up in the minds of most people when they are about to leave on a trip.  Well, there are a couple of things I wanted to take that I can't fit into the little suitcase.

Oh well, just about to get this ball rolling.  Off to work, home, to the airport and then to never-never land!

G'day.

ben

One thing that  a person living in Maricopa County should never do: get on Sheriff Joe's s*** list for "deadbeat dads".  I am not a deadbeat dad and never have been, but if you forget to pay child support, well, you know.  I'm about to take off out of town and realized I hadn't sent that out yet, oops! Well not an oops if I get it sent out in time, but still.  Okay, probably wouldn't happen having one late payment, but still.  Pretty much coming up to the end of the line on the child support payment train and I am gong to research it and try to get a court date before I move to get this resolved once and for all.

Susan comes out 20 minutes ago demanding to know how to reset the wireless router.

I'm not sorry to say that first thing in the morning?  You do not come out with an attitude with me and start cranking about the internet.  I said something to her and then proceeded to unplug the thing and leave the cord laying there - plug it back in in 15 seconds (if you plug it right back it, it won't reset it).

Yesterday.  Was trying to get this third and final song down. I'm a good way there and have enough time to get it by the time we are going to do our little performance.

I also got mad at Josiah, a thing I have been trying to avoid which ended up in a long, drawn out conversation  He was acting like an ass with his mother, but telling me he wasn't doing anything.  I'm sitting there thinking, have I lost it? She is telling me one thing and he is telling me something completely different.  I re-read all of it and said no, I am siding with her, he plays people against each other if it will benefit him.

So I stuck it to him and after he continued to say he wasn't doing anything, that's when I started getting irritated and probably went overboard with it.  To the point I ended up having to apologize to him for over-reacting, though at least he finally admitted at some point that he was being stupid and then apologized to both me and his mom. She was in a very bad mood yesterday, kids were fighting and cranking all day long and apparently that set (well, the little ones that stay home with her) her off with Josiah and the rest of the older ones and then discussions about what he was going to do tonight for church.  They got into it and took it completely out of my hands.  The whole point of giving him over to me was to eliminate that junk between them, well one of the points of it anyway.

Whatever.  New day.  Gotta get my clothes packed and things ready to go.  Taking a carry on piece only, they want $25 for checked in luggage and I refuse to do that, not this time or last time either, it;s a waste of money and I am only there 5 days.  I can pack enough clothes into that small suitcase to last me.

Anyway, I'll be busy after work that's for sure, I was yesterday too trying to get stuff done.

G'day.

ben

I'll tell you what.  I get all caught up in everything that's going on and then suddenly realize that this is Tuesday and I'm flying out to Texas on Thursday.

What significance does that have? Cause I have to be ready to go by tomorrow night and there are numerous things that I need to get done.  When I get home from work on Thursday it will be to turn around and leave for the airport.  Wish I could just drive straight there but geeze, the cost of airport parking is outrageous.  I'm not even that far, about 6 miles - too far to walk but far enough to get dumped with an outrageous fee for a taxi as well.

Oh well. I'll get it all done. Wanna take all that change in and see how much I have.  That's a portion of my spending money, gotta be at least 150 there if not more.  I don't really need a whole lot of money - help pay for gas, a round of bowling and some food and drinks for the bonfire.  Oh, an donuts.  The little girls love the donuts and ask her every day if I am going to be bringing them. lol.

Oh, and it's the girl's birthday on Friday! Well one of them the other a week before or something. Having a birthday party for them as well.  Yikes.  THis is going to be one busy trip!

HUGE day at work today, lots of stuff to do, thankfully.

G'day.

ben

Have you ever tried to learn a song in a music genre that you have mostly ignored and not listened to your entire life? And then try to learn 3 of them in a month? So you can sing them at a huge, giant bonfire in front of a bunch of people you don't know to your fiancee? With a 16 year old boy, to boot who is going to sing it to his girl at the same time?

I didn't think so.

I just started trying to learn the 3rd song yesterday and have spent today listening to it over and over and trying to get the lyrics down - but for me and on this particular song?  Yeah, difficult.  They sing that music in a much different fashion than rock and ti's just plain hard.
But I don't want to sound like I am complaining, to the contrary, it's a huge challenge that I am attempting to rise to and "conquer".

Is that all I did today? Absolutely not, it's what I did today while working; working out with weights; this that and the other thing and 2 final attempts just before going to bed. I did sing the other 2 songs today to make sure I still had them down and I nailed them on all 4 attempts.  But it took a week on each one of them,I admittedly took a week off from this and I might end up regretting not being able to do the third song because I don't have an entire week to learn it.

Which doesn't mean in the next 4 days I won't try!  lol

G'nite.

ben

Talked with Lynnette yesterday.
About my moving and them dealing with this house.
I have a little more confidence now after talking to her that they can, in fact, deal with this place and more importantly the people living within it.
But they are going to have to be able to keep people living here, not run them off.
There is a fine balance I have learned to dealing with individuals and going overboard with it.
We'll see what happens, there is a minimum amount of money this place needs to bring in in order to be able to pay for everything

Then there's the 12 year old.
He's got a pretty good mouth going, calling her a slut and a whore.
The kid is lucky I wasn't there, actually I think I am lucky I wasn't there because hearing a son saying that to his mother?

Gag.

Monday morning.  Weekends just disappear like they never existed.  Amazing how that happens.
You get up and wonder???? Yeah, I know I got a lot of stuff done this weekend, but still.

3-1/2 days til' I leave for Texas.

G'day.

ben

Finally.
Got everything out of the closet, vacuumed it and threw away 3 very large trash bags full of stuff - junk - papers - things I will never use. Putting what's left back in, with stuff that needs a round 2 - like couldn't decide on round one but round 2 stuff is stuff I could sell at a yard sale or on Craigslist, not stuff I would just trash.  Still, I have whittled that down quite a bit and by the time I have everything ready to move, I do not expect it to be a huge amount of things. My computers; guitar; clothes; pics and trinkets; just nothing that is going to take up a huge amount of space.

Which is why I am gawking at the cost of moving stuff long distance.  It's called being reamed and since I have time to try and figure this out, I figure I am going to see about my options.  $250 to have a hitch installed on the car and $150 for a trailer, got $400 going there instead of a grand and we are all done with that.  Maybe, anyway.  I dunno. Still got some stuff to sort through but my gosh this was terrible.  I am not completely done yet just on the downside and probably another hour and I can wrap it up. A couple of boxes of books that I need to go through, but that's just plain not going to happen today.

Meanwhile, m'lady and the situation over there. Josiah was acting like an ass this morning and I'm tired of it.  He goes to his girlfriend's house and acts like an angel and then comes home and acts like a demon.  It's really that bad.  He has replaced his mom with his gf's mom and it's just intolerable, I've had enough of it and I am calling him later on today after I get a chance to think about it and get what I need to get said to him in my mind.  That boy can out talk anyone. I mean in terms of words being spewed out and the rapid-fire pace he can shoot them out with, I am not including any amount of appreciable intelligence to go with that.  One of those people that speaks before they think.  I refuse to get dragged into a competition with him, I'll just let him wear himself out saying what he has to say and then I'll start in on him.

So, Lynnette informed me that when I leave, she is taking my mattress out of my bedroom.
Ummm, okay. No, I am not taking any of that with me. Won't have room for it.  Hopefully finding a place to live temporarily, presuming I am out there before we are married, that already has a bed.  She is checking at church, I will find something if not.

______________________________________________________________________

Very long interlude.  I worked on that closet all day long today.  It's done.  I have a few small boxes of stuff to go through but nothing major.  I am going to shift my attention to other things now that I need to go through and continue on until I am pretty much sure I have most if not all of it covered and getting ready to actually move will not be a big ordeal. Find boxes, pack stuff up, go.

So today.  Wow.  I mean, I was texting on and off with her and with Josiah all day long while I was getting all of this stuff done. Thanks to Fin for the advice on using the microphone to speak your message on text, it works pretty good as long as you speak clearly into it.It messes up sometimes but the benefits far outweigh the cons in this case, at least for me.   I can actually text on that new phone pretty darn fast but not near as fast as just talking into it!

So the 12 year old.  I bought him a bike almost 2 weeks ago and had it sent to Walmart.  Not an expensive bike but his bike fell apart.  But this kid! Has such a whiny, grating attitude. He was saying al kinds of sh** to his mom today and she actually went out of her way to go pick that bike up for him.  NO. I suggested this: silent treatment.  Yeah, she actually went through with it, and yeah, as I expected, the kid ran through the gamut of bs and talking trash about both me and her and I just said keep quiet. Talk to anyone else, treat him as if he doesn't even exist.

Not over yet.  Nope.  He declared he was going outside to put the bike together, I texted Josiah who was working in the garage cleaning it up: get that bike and bring it in with you and don't let him touch it.  He texted back: yeah, no problem! and he didn't let that kid do anything with it. M'lady, however and expected, was having a hard time giving the boy the silent treatment.  I understand though it would be much easier for me to do if I were there. Put up my right hand: talk to the hand, cause' nothing else wants to hear it!  I stuck with her on this one until she went to bed - 2 hour time difference.

Then :I called Josiah.  I am getting tired of the texting only relationship, especially when there are issues.  I told him earlier today I wanted to call and talk to him about something.  But later on, he asked about the new workout routine I gave him - he finally found his dumb bells so now we up this thing considerably.  So that conversation went on about the new routine, didn't even get into the issue I wanted to deal with.

Later, I asked him in text if he was available? Well,I'm done working out going to bed soon. Yeah right. 9 o'clock there,highly doubtful,he is still showing online on his facebook account and it's nearly 11 there. But he was like no,I want to know!  Well we got into a long texting situation and I regretted it.  I should have just called him, much easier.  But it was a good discussion - even though he got very defensive - and we are at least on the way to trying to resolve the problem.

Back to home, I am very happy with myself that I actually got that closet cleaned out.

And with that? It's Sunday night, bedtime and I need to get to sleep.

G'nite.

ben

I have nothing going on over at my house that even comes close to the amount of stuff that goes on over at m'lady's house!

Today?  I get text from her: water heater is leaking, how do I drain it out?  Spigot on the bottom dear, hook up a hose and drain it out that way.  She and 16 year old - I think I'll just start listing his name since he's basically my stepson at this point, well not officially but since he's my responsibility - his name is Josiah - He has a Facebook page if you know m'lady's last name which at least some readers do you can simply type in Josiah and his last name and it will come up - are trying to get the thing to drain out.  Easier for me to deal with if I'm there, but basically the valve wouldn't open to drain it.

Yes well that's what happens when you don't open it up at least once a year and drain as much of the sediment out of there as possible so that it doesn't rust out the tank and also cost less to heat - so I made numerous suggestions and the finally got the thing to drain.

But while that was happening, her 8 year old daughter was in the kitchen, cooking eggs and set off the smoke detector, which alerted the monitoring company who tried to call her - with no answer because she was stressing over the water leaking out of the heater.  So guess what happened next? Yup, 2 fire trucks showed up.

Now she also wants to find out what is leaking through the upstairs floor and into the celing below.  Old house, pretty much it needs new plumbing I am guessing.  Stuff I could do but to get at it would mean tearing up walls and ceiling and all kinds of stuff - big project.  But if it needs to be done, it will get on the list.

Meanwhile, dealing with Josiah this morning.  No real issues, just that he is going over to girlfriend's house today and he has to text me when he leaves, when he stops at store, when he leaves from the store, when he arrives at the house and then every 2 hours while there and also if he leaves to go somewhere text when leaving, etc, so forth, ad-nauseum.  I am getting him trained.  Mom wanted all this texting before but he would "forget" with her and start trouble.  Yeah, that isn't going to work with me.  He is with her parents pretty much the whole so that's why he was fussing.  Well, son, because you are going to have a driver's license very soon and you need to get used to the idea that you are going to have to report to me - and frequently.

"Well are you EVER going to trust me?!!"  This is not about trust (well okay, so it is but I have to answer the question differently so he gets a different picture in his mind), this is about accountability and the fact that we all get tempted to do things we shouldn't and so, call it your Mentor looking over your shoulder just helping you stay on the straight and narrow.  Mom would give him a completely different answer that just doesn't work in the mind of a teenager wanting his freedom. He'll get his  freedom, with strings, lots of them, attached at first.  As he shows himself faithful and he earns my trust, then yes, some of the strings will be detached, but not all of them, not until he's 18 anyway.  After that, he is responsible for his own actions and that's that.  Whether he liked that reply from me or not, I don't know or care, he accepted it and that's all I wanted or needed.

So that's that - for now.  He's 15 minutes late on a text but since he texted me an hour ago about a change of location, I will give that one a pass but if he doesn't text my in the next 45 minutes, he's going to receive a text that says "strike one".  Lol.

And Josiah is the boy that I am going to sit next to and we are going to sing to our girls sitting in front of us together.  It was my idea but he's the kind of kid that is all over that kind of thing, he plays guitar and loves to sing.  The catch for me was I have to learn country songs of his choosing to do it.  So I've got 2 of them down - and I do mean down now after much trying.  "Hard To Love" and "It Goes Like This". The second song tripped me up for days, especially certain parts but I finally got it memorized and can sing it good.  Country music is WAY different than the music I like and grew up with, hard to get it in my mind.  The third song which I just started listening to last night is called Rewind by Rascal Flatts and  I dunno if I will be able to get it memorized before next Saturday, though I should if I spend enough time with it.  I think we are going to sing at the bonfire Saturday night!  I will definitely get a video of that bonfire, their pile of stuff is HUGE!!

That's Josiah and those are 3 medals he won in track last night, one of them a gold in the 400meter run.  And he just texted me a few minutes ago while I was trying to figure out how to save an Instagram pic, which it won't let you do so, fortunately for me, I learned how to use the print screen and use paint program a long time ago!

Enough about that.  I have spent a good deal of time in that closet this morning, but I HAD to get out of there. I can only deal with that stuff for so long before I have to go do something else.  Going back to it in a few as I have taken and hour off from it.  Have frozen ribs I bought at last sale thawing, hopefully I can start cooking them in an hour or 2 and have them done no later than 5.  I just still cannot believe how much useless paper I have saved up in there. But I am finding a lot of gems as well, especially pics from the past of family.  And more money, lol, all of which I am using on the next trip.  Oh and some cool wall pics, I'll be taking them to Texas with me.

And that is the next headache once I finally figure out when I am moving there, which is still up in the air at this point.  HOW am I going to move my stuff there? I have not found a single option yet that is even remotely in what I would consider to be "affordable".  Even renting a U-Haul truck, the smallest one they have is ridiculous.  If only I owned a pickup truck! I could just haul my stuff out there on a trailer.  I have no clue yet.  I may end up installing a hitch on my car and buying a $200 Harbor Freight utility trailer, about $400 for all of that, which is at least a $500 savings over ANYTHING else I have found so far.  It's at least viable solution since I am not taking a house full of furniture with me. But I have 3 dogs to haul as well! Gag! That's going to be one LONG trip is all I can say.  And with those dogs, I won't be able to stay at any motels, they might let me have one dog in a room but not 3 and definitely not 2 of them that are that large!

Yeah, moving is going to be a huge pain in the ass.  I guess I am going to have to resolve in my mind to basically drive straight there with food stops and dog relief stops on the way and then just sleep a day when I get there.  I haven't done that kind of driving in a long, long time, but I used to do it regularly.  Don't much care for it but I think I can do it with a few nap stops here and there. Dogs will just have to suffer.  My record is driving out almost 1,000 miles without stopping once.

Well, in my mind, whatever I have to go through to get out there is going to be totally worth it.  I might complain and whine a bit on the way, but I will stop once I'm there!

Back to the grind.

G'day.

ben

A week away from my departure date to go back out there for 5 days.  I wish it could be longer but that's not possible.  Main objective: get a job. Second: spend time with m'lady and third would be to simply have fun with the kids.  Considering there will be a trip to some science museum; a bonfire with a lot of guests; bowling; a pine derby at their church; going to church on Sunday and whatever else?

Well it should be fun, yes, but I may come back from this next trip a bit tired!  Especially since I won't be walking in the door until almost midnight and then have to get up for work the next morning!

My slow progress almost has come to a stop this week with trying to get ready to move.  Not that I have a date yet but I want to be ready. The reason is a bunch of kids and their mom, lol.  Though yesterday was more consumed by the 16 year old than anything.  He first got himself into trouble for not texting me once he arrived at church.  After he got home, we talked for quite a while.  I mean, the situation with the texting  was dealt with quickly.  It then turned in to serious stuff.  I don't really have any friends. Why not? Because I'm weird.  Why do you think that?  Because  don't smoke, do drugs, drink and I am a virgin.

This conversation went on for quite a long time - but - though he feels strange because everyone else apparently is doing all that - especially losing their virginity at a young age - he doesn't seem to care what they think about him, he found a girlfriend that is like minded and they do not want to do that.

Well anyway, 2 hours of that and then off to bed for me, got nothing done on that closet and I just have to shut the phone off for a day or two and get that thing done or else put the phone on speakerphone and talk to her like that while working, cause' I need to get that project done and behind me.

So darnit, I want to get that done after work today! Except I found out I am supposed to go to a hockey game with family tonight! Yikes!

G'day

ben

16 year old hasn't quite figured this out yet.
Which is okay, I am a patient person - though I don't like to be played, pushed and otherwise toyed with.
Especially by teenagers. Hmm, well maybe adults are worse, they mosty are cognitive of the bs they are committing when they are committing is, many teenagers are oblivious to such but still, they know they are playing people just not exactly the effect it has on such.

But, I expect that from a person that thinks he can run around a person that isn't actually there.  Unfortunately for him, I am in communication with mom pretty much all day long and definitely when I need to find out if something is going on - such as the boy playing games.

______________________________

Started that this morning. Situation changes rapidly as time progresses and not even that much time!  He contacted me today: "so, I have to ask about going over to her house and everything now?".  Yes, you do.  We had a long discussion, very long, about that and other things  I then called m'lady and ended up talking to a 6, 8 10 and 12 year old.  Plus the 16 year old and the 17 year old that moved out.  Yes, this is fairly time consuming but I really want to establish a relationship with these kids as much as possible before I even get out there.

Well anyway.  Work and then talking on the phone all day and then texting some more and now the 16 year old's girlfriend's mom is messaging me.  She thinks we hate her.  We don't but she's done some things that were out of line, things that she should have contacted m'lady about and asked permission to do before doing it - granted given m'lady would have told her no.  I am letting this lady know in a nice way but still down to brass tacks about what we expect of the 16 year old when he's over there.

So, life it taking more and more interesting twists and turns......and I would love to write more about it.....but for now? It's time to go to bed!

G'nite.

ben

It's been a gritty weekend.
The first started by the 14 year old on Friday night with the fire he started in the bathroom in the house and all that ensued with that chaos and drama and then last night huge issue with the 16 year old that was doing pretty well but broke down and went haywire last night.  I had to talk to that boy for almost 2 hours to get him to calm down and refocus himself.  The problem here is that he has his first real girl friend.  Yeah, I know he's young and doesn't really know what that's all about but in this case, this is the first one he's been able to stay with. The rest lasted a week and it was done and over with.  He didn't have a clue how to treat girls so I helped him out with that too some months ago.

Regardless, when he's over at their house, life is grand and wonderful. They treat him like  a prince.  There isn't any of the "family stuff" and though that's all nice, find and wonderful, it's la-la land.  He comes home and has to deal with all that there is to deal with in having 5 younger brothers and sisters living there as well, plus a mom that demands he does his chores and plenty of it.  The situation further exacerbated because her parents are in love with him, they think he's just the greatest kid on earth and they buy him stuff and just do everything for him.  God knows if I were there I would be having sit down with these folks because what they are doing isn't really good.  They don't understand how that affects his outlook on things at home and from my limited conversations with them in the past, I don't really think they care.  It's all good for them, who cares what he has to deal with at home and in reality, if it's really that bad, then why not make him feel all googly and wonderful while at their home?

Why not? Because that doesn't help him learn how to deal with life, that's why.  Everyone has some rotten family member or ugly situation at home or whatever, I just about guarantee there isn't a person alive that when they think of family, some negative thing comes popping up and takes over everything else.  Or something close to that.

Whatever the case, I am going to start invoking those thoughts in his tiny little brain starting this week.

And further whatever the case, mom just said here you deal with him.  Not exactly like that, she loves him and all her kids but she is having way too much trouble dealing with them, just doesn't understand how the teenage boy's mind works and all the little intricacies that go along with it and how to effectively navigate through all that junk and get to a solution to things without the kid blowing up and having a conniption fit. I suppose that isn't always an attainable ending but if you throw out enough logic and reasoning and real life situations that they can look it, it does work most of the time.  At least for me it does, but then again I have been dealing with that gender and age group for over 20 years now.

So I said fine but I'm going to work a compromise here and you'll pretty much have to be happy with it.  She didn't want him gone today which is understandable but at the same time I'm trying to work this from 1,200 miles away and so for the here-and-now, it's compromise land for me.   It's one thing to try and sit here and deal with this, it will be completely another when I can be right there, in front of them, talking directly to them and no more of this phone and texting business. So,the boy is at church right now with mom and family and then gf's parents pick him up and bring him back by 7.  He cannot call mom to try and talk her into more time, either.  In fact, he cannot call her for any reason unless it's a real emergency.  He tries to play the game and get more time by having his gf's mother text m'lady and ask.  That won't work with me, in fact it will piss me off because that simply means that they are undermining her God-given authority and responsibility in that boy's life to have the final say and not have it questioned, especially by someone else's parents.

And yes, I am going to  text him while he's with that girl.  That's what I do.  That's what I did with my own son.  IMO, that's being a responsible parent.  Some have told me that is helicopter parenting and to that I say bulls***.  Helicopter parenting is a style of parenting that restricts the child from doing much of anything and constantly bombarding them with control and authority.  I let my son live his life and figure things out, but I was THERE for him and I made it known to him that I was going to be watching him. From afar, yes, but still.  Well not always from afar, lol, I showed up on his doorstep - wherever he was - several times out of the blue, unannounced, uninvited and I didn't care!

__________________________

Long interlude.  Just got home from church, awesome!  While there I received a text: Jacob, the 14 year old,wants to talk to me.  I put the feelers out through the 16 year that I would like to talk to him on the phone and discuss these issues with him and try to drag out of him why he is acting out like he is (such as setting portions of the house on fire twice now) and what can we do to change that?  So......yeah.......that's today.  Like in a few minutes.  Gotta get my mind and spirit man ready for that because this kid has got serious problems and I am not even sure I can help him but I am going to try and since he told his mom he wants to talk to me, definitely.

I think this phone call is going to take it out of me.

Soooooo, off to the races!

G'day.

ben

Lighting Fires In The House

What more fun thing could you think of to do on a Friday night than be talking with your fiancee' and then the next thing you know, all hell is breaking loose at her house? 14 year old boy piled some kind of material in one of the upstairs bathroom sinks and then set it on fire.

Yup, right inside the house.  This after he told her she was fu****** stupid and other not-so-nice expletives and adjectives that more likely describe a monster, not one's own mom.  She sends me a pic and then asks me if she should call the police.  I'm thinking what I might be inclined to do in such a situation - probably kick the kid in the ass and other such manhandling events and then shove his ass down the stairs, out the door, throw some blankets out there and bid him a good night.

He set his mattress on fire last month.  Yes, his mattress, in his bedroom. She called the police, Sheriff's came out, 4 of them apparently, decided they couldn't take him but advised her to "wear his ass out".  ???  What, are you going to make him work all night long?  I never heard that phrase used in the context of what they were saying it so I had no clue that they actually meant to whip his ass until it really, really, reallllllly hurts.  They were saying all of this in front of the boy.  They further advised that if she does decide to spank him and if he offered any  resistance at all, they would be happy to come back and beat his ass for her.

I'm not sure they can legally do that, I think they were pretty much reading him the riot act and trying to put the fear of God - or man - into him.

I can only say that if I were there now, much of this s*** wouldn't be happening.  He simply needs a man in his face to help him deal with all the junk that is going on inside of him that no-one will help with and she doesn't really have a clue how to deal with teenage boys.  She freely admits that. Girls, yes, boys, no.  Her options were to go ahead and whip his ass or dump him on ex's doorstep. Who would do nothing.  He might not even take him.  Never-the-less, she opted for the ass whipping. I simply said make sure someone else is in there with you with a cell phone to call police again in case he goes crazy on her.

I will not say how many times she whipped him, I will say that he was pretty much - in a lot of pain.  But, he let her do it.  I say let because he is much bigger than her and in the realm of size, he could easily beat the snot out of her if he wanted to.  The police saying what they said is the reason he didn't put up a fight.  Otherwise, I am sure this would be a completely different story being printed on this page right now.

I have not talked to her yet today to find out how things are going over there, I need my coffee first!  I'm assuming the boy is either going to come into alignment with her demands  - which is simply to do basic chores around the house - or perhaps he will run away, as she has threatened that she will beat his ass again.  I'm not really all for spanking a 14 year old, but in her case, the only alternative is to dump him.  She doesn't really want to do that.

As for me, my slow preparations to move - not in a big hurry it's not going to happen tomorrow afternoon - continue on. Plodding along in my closet, which is easily the biggest thing I have to go through since it's where  keep anything and everything of value to me.  And, as I have been finding out and a bit embarrassing, also en-massing piles of papers from the past covering a huge vortex of issues and things that - vortex the wrong word but seems to fit anyway - I have had to go through, piece by piece and discarding most of it.  Much of it important at the time I was going through it or otherwise using it, now it's just history that I have no need to keep a collection of.  Still, it is amazingly boring, tedious and monotonous work that I would rather not have to do.  I will be spending even more quality time in there today.

I also have to get Caleb's car ready to sell, meaning going to Auto Zone and trading the bad battery in for a good one and cleaning out the car - of which he left rather messy.  I should be able to fetch around $800 for it. It's ugly, it's got dings on the door and such but, it runs great.  A good running car is the only thing I need to get some kind of money out of it.  Oh, yes, I dd ask him if he wanted the thing, he does not.  He won't be back here that long when he returns from Hawaii and then purportedly off to Japan.

Regardless,the closet and continuing on with it is on today's agenda.  Work on it until I can take it no longer, leave it and come back to it type of thing  Just not something I can sit there and do alllll day long without stopping though if I were to do that, I could have it done today. I am not that motivated.

At work, the rumors may still be flying about, I have no idea, but at least the endless stream of people approaching me and asking if they are true has stopped. Not that I mind replying, because some of the rumors are completely hilarious as people recirculate things they hear and then add and detract things from the story until it has morphed into something completely and totally different than what is actually happening.  I had the same thing occur many years ago when a transmission - a very large and heavy one out of a semi tractor - fell onto my knee.  As the rumors spread, over the days after the accident, I had people coming up to me looking at me in shock.  "Oh, I heard that you had to have your leg amputated!" and other such nonsense.

I have finally decided in my mind that leaving the house under the care of Mark and Lynnette will probably work out - with frequent phone calls making sure they are covering everything - and that eventually the house will go well beyond what I owe on it and I can sell it and be done with it.  Or whatever, who knows.  If I get the job offer in Shreveport and she can continue on with her programming work and also continue receiving a rather substantial amount of money in child support, money will not be an issue with us - at all.  In fact, there should be plenty left over.  I want some toys is my deal.  Lol.  A dirt bike and a quad and a truck to pull a trailer with all of it loaded on it.

I suppose this entry has one on long enough.  12 days until I fly out of here and go for another visit. 13 days until I find out whether I have a job offer or not.  13 days as well until I get in front of that 14 year old and start having a man-to-man with him or maybe I should call that a man-to-child since that's really how he is living his life.  Well, maybe let that go until that Saturday or even Sunday.  Never-the-less, I want an opportunity to try and drag out of that kid what it is, exactly, that is going on inside of him that makes him want to act out in such bizarre and even dangerous ways - lighting things on fire inside of the house is hardly an act that most people would call safe........

G'day.

ben

My arms are aching.
I have intensified my workouts to the point that some of them are up to a full hour of doing nothing but free weights. I totally trashed my triceps almost 4 days ago now and they are still sore!  Growing old you can't do nothing about, growing old and fat you can.

I'm sorta in a holding pattern at this point until I get down there, get the interview and find out if I have a job or not. Some of the kids are virtually begging me to pleeeeease get my stuff and move asap.  Yes well that can't happen til I have a job.  They understand this but patience is not necessarily a virtue with juveniles and young kids.  One thing is for certain, long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart, especially if you really fall in love and can't see each other that often.  Facebook, text messaging, Facetime, phone calls simply do not take place of personal contact.  If I were a rich man, I'd just fly out there on weekends and have a couple of days of contact over nothing, but I am not and it is what it is.  It's basically $300 give or take depending on what you end up with to fly to Tyler and back.

That's pretty good chunk of change for me.

Whatever the case, a new experiment landed on my doorstep 2 days ago when we were discussing the 16 year and his infatuation/love/whatever you want to call it for his recently found 14-year old girlfriend.  He wanted to spend yesterday with his gf - they are on Spring Break.  She told him no.  We got to discussing it - she is kinda afraid if she puts the brakes on too much he'll bolt and run.  But I talk to the boy every day, that's not really his mind frame though if she were to shut it down completely he probably would take off to his dad's.  So he is asking her while I am on the phone with her and she told him flat out no.  He texts me all dejected, well she said no.

Then we are talking about it and she just says: You make the decision.  Okay.  Her problem is she (admittedly) has no clue how to deal with teenage boys.  So I asked her what she wants out of it.  Might as well milk the cow.  Work.  Okay.  Back to the boy, 3 days of work, at least 4 hours.  Well what about church on Wednesday, he asks.  No.  Puuuulllllleeeeeeeeaaaaaaassssssseeeeeeee bro?  He asks me. Back to momma.  You make the decision dear. Yes hon, but you are the one that is going to have to drive over there and get the girl, take her to church with you and then drive her home.

Back to boy.  Okay, this time.  But 4 hours of work 3 days in a row no excuses.  Starting today,btw, so I am going to be checking on him on that one.  So yesterday I was texting him, what are you doing over there?  ??? Yes, it's meeeeee. I was given the task of making the decision and checking up on you. Ohhhh.  Yup, and get used to it and more, cause' I know what goes through teenage boys' minds.

So after dragging out the conversation, on purpose, with him, for over an hour, lol, I finally said yes.  But today he gets to pay. Not only does he have to do his work that is already posted on paper, he has to take before and after pics and prove to me that he got it done.

Then it was talking to the 12 year old boy, then it was talking to the 10 year old boy - the 12 year old is pretty much a whiner and that's gonna have to be addressed head on.

Anyway, that's life at the ranch that I'm not even living at yet!

And I'm outta time!

G'day.

ben

Standing down on that one.
She was upset with herself about something that occurred between us.
I just brushed it off, said I am all good with it and then continued on like nothing had happened.
Well, you know, after a pretty good discussion that she wanted to have about it, lol.
She calmed down, was all good and now we are ... all good!

Gotta date to interview with manager of Shreveport store on the 28th of this month at 1:00pm.  I was glad that he wanted to see me on Friday, I can get that behind me - for better or worse - and move on to doing other things. The 16 year wants to have a bonfire but mom said no, wait until I'm there.  I dunno why but whatever, it's cool.  They have a HUGE pile of junk to be burned.  It is sitting out in the middle of a huge field with nothing around it thankfully, no chance of catching anything else on fire.  I mean, I am going to get pics and video of this and post it here and on FB, it should be cool to watch it go up!

And then I decided we are all going to go bowling, all 6 of the kids plus his girlfriend and obviously my future wife and I.  That should be a hoot, those kids don't get to get out much and do anything like that.  It's kinda expensive to take that many kids - much of anywhere to do much of anything - but I do believe that when we are married, with her income from programming plus my income plus child support we should be doing very well.

Meanwhile, at the home front, I decided to tackle my walk in closet yesterday.  Major disaster. I spent 2 hours plus and got maybe 2 feet into it.  I have no idea why I let it get so bad in there, but now? I gotta get it cleaned out, chuck what needs to be chucked, keep what I will move out there with  me and give away whatever I don't want that is still good to use.  One thing that was very nice: I found a gold mine in change in there.  I haven't even unearthed all of it yet and there is at least $200 in change in a large plastic container that I brought in just for that purpose.  I am pretty good at guessing close to what I have in change, I did a coin op candy business for quite a while, you get a feel for what you have.  I have at least $100 in my other contained that I have been dumping change into for quite a while so I have some spending money for the trip, woohooooo!

That closet is the last major thing I have to get done.  When it comes time to move it won't take terribly long to get stuff boxed up and get out of there.  I may move into one of the other bedrooms before moving happens so I can get that rented out, need the income to break even on the house.  So yeah, I will be feeling good about that once I get it done and I am going to work on it every day until it's accomplished.

I have also decided to take all my large Koi fish with me.  They can be put into a very large plastic container, get a couple of air pumps going in it for the drive and then put them in the large upper pond once I arrive.  They will love it!  And they are too big for those ducks to do anything with plus most of them are smart enough to stay away from such. I am guessing at least a couple of my favorites will still come up to me if I come up with Koi pellets and start feeding them.

And with that, I am hopeful that this is my last "visit" out there.  I am hoping for a job offer, get my stuff in order and get OUT of Phoenix.  There will be very little that I miss about this place, some things/people yes, but not that much.  I will definitely not miss the intense heat.  Yes, I know the area I am going to has higher humidity but they don't get anything even close to as hot as Phoenix is and I am guessing they do believe in AC over there, if they don't guess I'm in for a warm ride!  But Shreveport average temps in the summer are going from low 90's to mid 90's  I suppose that could be hell if they have high humidity. Well, I don't have a job offer yet so no use going too much into that, excepting to say that they are using a temporary driver right now and they are happy to wait until I come out and see if it's a good fit.  Corporate probably gets a little pushy about it, too, though. They are all for keeping people within the company, especially someone that has been there for a while.

I may get higher pay but it is a proven fact that it is much cheaper and easier in the long run to keep a good employee than it is to start fresh with someone new.  So, I got in on that one just in time.  The one in Longview, not so lucky, they had just hired their one and only driver. Who knows though, from what I am hearing they have a hard time with employee retention over there. I did not hear why that's the case, but if I'm being paid well I can pretty much overlook a lot of crud, keeping that in context with what goes on at the branch I am at now and also with our main branch downtown.

Time to go take a shower and get ready for church!

G'day.

ben

She has been pretty down for the last - week anyway.
But this morning she hit me with a bomb: We need to talk.
About what? Us.
I don't even know.  First thing Saturday morning, 7 am, sorry, I can't do that that early.  Gotta wake up.  If she's got some kind of bad news for me definitely not a good time.
Who knows.
I won't sit here and dwell on the what if's,  I will call her later and find out what's going on.

No great plans this weekend, just need to get some projects done that I have been putting off for quite a while.  Stuff I have to get done in order to move - if that's even going to happen now.   I dunno.  Situation up in the air as far as I'm concerned.

Well whatever, bad time to start trying to write an entry, I think I'll try again later after I talk to her.

Welcome to the land of iPhones.  I am actually getting the hang of it much faster than I thought I would.  There are some things I get hung up on but still, I can definitely use the thing.

Back to the Texas ranch.
12 year old boy acting like an ass today.  Everyone getting on his case because of it.  So I'm just getting home from church and hearing that he wants to talk to me.  Okay.  M'lady puts him on the Ipad and connects to FB message and here we go.  But it was taking too long, put him on the phone with me, this is going to take forever doing it like this!

So on the phone for an hour.  Yes, with a 12 year old boy.  Telling me about all of his life's troubles and how people pick on him both at home and at school. I'm not necessarily that sympathetic, I was told long before that age to just deal with it......go get in their faces and beat the snot out of them.  Yes, even coming from my mother.  In other words, whining about it ain't gonna get you nowhere. But I was nice to him anyway.  After 30 minutes of that he turned on facetime, a thing I didn't know iPhones had and now I was looking at his face.  Lol.

That was today.  That doesn't include interactions with the 16 year old - an almost daily occurrence and the 17 year old.

And of course, endless conversations with m'lady, lol on FB, texting and phone.  : )

I got the time off, I am going over there after work on a Thursday last week of this month and staying until Monday, leaving on a late plane and yes, getting home late but I have to try to extract as much time out of the 3 days I am taking off there plus the 2 weekends days as i can.  If I am trashed at work the next day, oh well, what else is new?  As always, I want to see all of this atrocious behavior these boys exhibit, as has happened every time I have gone there, it probably won't happen.

Well whatever. This is pretty much life at the farm without actually being at the farm.

No, it isn't going to be all hell over there, that is a fact.  The kid asked me today after the 2 or 3 months it takes to clean that house up - I pretty much told him and all the rest of them how it was going to be once I get there - could we ride dirt bikes?  Well yes we can, but neither he nor I have one.  That is, however, a situation I want to change.  You cannot possibly have 36 acres of land and not have dirt bikes or quads or both to ride around on!

I also will want to rent a track hoe and dig the lower pond out to make it much larger than it is and rechannel the water so that the inlet is on one side and the outlet on the exact opposite side.  But none of that takes precedence over the house.  It needs work, a lot of it and those boys are going to spend the summer working hard and playing hard.  Yes, work them then make sure they have play time as well.  Of course, if this all works out, lol.  We are engaged, we love each other - deeply; wedding proposed for June, I'm hoping to be out there in the next 2 months, but as always, the "best laid plans of men".  Can go south.  In a fast hurry.  So nothing concrete, just going with the flow and one step at a time.  No job, no move.  Unless she thinks she can support me, lol, until  I find one. But no, I really would like to have employment before I get out there.

Meanwhile, Mark and Lynnette are all good with running the house hold.  I think Lynnette can deal with people, Mark can deal with issues.  I'm going to give it a try and see what happens. It's not that I don't think they can run the house, it's the part about getting new tenants in when the need arises that concerns me.  Probably the first person they need to see is Lynnette, not Mark for reasons I need not go into here.

Well, anyway, started this one on Sunday, now Monday morning.  Thinking of calling the manager over there in Shreveport today or this week and asking a few more questions, mostly just to let him know I am very interested in the position and please don't give it up to anyone else.  Though he didn't make it sound like they even had the position available yet.

Anyway, g'day.

ben

So today I am driving the semi back to the yard.  My company phone rings, I hate answering the phone in that truck when I'm driving because the hands free device they got for it is a piece of garbage. You can hardly understand anything anyone is saying, it is so garbled.  Well I answer the phone before the computer thing tells me it's = answering it = and I hear this voice with a very distinct twang to it, Southern twang.  I've lived in Texas and I've been all throughout the South.

Which didn't mean I knew who it was, I missed the first part of what he said cause of the computer voice but I heard his name is Matt. "You having any luck finding employment in Longview?".  ??? No, I haven't even looked, I said, I am waiting to find out if I can find something with the company first.  I would rather stay with Ferguson than to have to move onto something else. I'm thinking, who is this? But I'm taking the bait cause' he knew too much.  Well is there anything with the Longview branch? Okay, gotta be a dude from my company, no, I replied they don't have anything from what I'm hearing.

"Well, we're definitely interested!"  I'm putting the exclamation marks on there because this guy was really enthusiastic about getting another CDL driver and one that isn't afraid to work and whatever my management told him, it was already a done deal.  We had a good conversation and I was all over it - but so was he.  "Well, you are a CDL driver, right?". Yes, I am.  "Well you can driver tractor-trailer rigs, right?" Yes, I can, lol.  "Well okay, we get people in here that say they can and then we find out they can't".  Well, I can drive just about anything, but if you want to ask my management I'm all good with that.  "No, I believe you, lol, just that we've had so many that say the can and then turn out to be nothing".  I'm talking to you from the cab of my truck, I've been driving the thing all day long in city traffic.

There is nothing else I need to write about today, though there certainly is more.  I just have a hard time nowadays finding time to write in this journal and also everything else that is going on!  But I am elated, if I get a job offer there, even if a long drive, I don't have to worry about getting over there now. I can deal with a long drive adding an hour and 45 minutes to my day or probably less since I tend to drive fast, just to get over there and if I find it too much, at least I am THERE, getting a paycheck with health care coverage and won't have to be pressed to find something.

G'nite.

ben

So, as the situation with those older boys usually goes, more developments.  The now moved-out 17 year old started talking to m'lady's ex and telling a bunch of s***  lies about what I was saying to him.  The problem - well one of the problems with her ex anyways - is that he always  believes his kids over her! I mean really?  Then when he contacts her with the lies and she goes through all this rigamooroo trying to explain to him what the reality is versus their version of truth is, he always ends up apologizing. Well get a clue dude! Geeze!

Fortunately, I had already copied and pasted the entire conversation to her before he ever called she knew everything that was said so he could just simply put his stupidity down.

The boy texted his mom today demanding a ride to work - that after he sends me an elongated reply to my message to him about how he doesn't get along with his mom, doesn't like her and doesn't want to be around her. ?!!!  Seriously.  These kid's minds are SO screwed up!  This all the doings of ex feeding their minds with the idea that mom is going into menopause so she is going to be wild and messed up for the next few years and that she doesn't cook and clean up after all of them and a lot of other stuff.

She refused to bow to it - I didn't even have to help her with that one - he is still yelling and cussing at her, it's ridiculous.  He needs counselling, that's all i can say about it.

Meanwhile, looking for airfare for next trip out there.  Pretty much $283 round trip to TYR from PHX.  Leaving on a Tuesday after work and taking 3 days off.  I'm kinda adamant that I keep at least 40 hours. I was going to only do 2 days but we are engaged now, I am going to take 3 days off plus weekend. Leave on the day before so it's 4 full days and the day I have to leave well not so much but oh well. I am hoping maybe I can just move out there long before we get married, she already found a decent place for me to live and my dogs can stay on her land and I will be over there every day after work so they will adapt.

____________________________

A couple of days since I started writing that one.  The 17 year old never did reply to me, which isn't shocking so just letting that one go again - I hadn't spoken to him in quite some time, my replies to him are undoubtedly not things he wants to hear, so whatever.  The 16 year old goofed up last night and after discussing it with him (via text messaging) I ended up coaching him on how to make the situation better.  Asking for forgiveness is not always easy to do, perhaps it is never easy to do but some situations are more difficult than others.  After he did what I suggested - without going into details here because I don't think it appropriate - everything really was quite better.

Regardless, it's Monday morning, almost time to leave for work.  My plans to do much of anything  are basically on hold until  I hear back from work and find out whether they are going to be able to offer me position over there or not.  I hope it doesn't take them too long to figure this out one way or the other.  If not, I need to start figuring out the businesses over there that might have good benefits packages and start sending out applications.  I've never really done anything like this before.  I mean, once I just gave everything away and went to the mission field, but this is different.  I don't have that much stuff so no biggies on that department but I do have to find a job and uprooting myself and attempting to make this happen, well, I'm just relying on God to help me make the next steps.

Anyway, off to work.

G'day.

ben

Things moving right along.
I put in to my company a few weeks ago a request for a job transfer if one is available.
Apparently, the industrial branch in Longview is considering creating a position for me and the waterworks division in Shreveport is considering the same thing.
The Longview branch does not need a driver, however, so I would be stuck in a warehouse.  Which I wouldn't mind so much, but there is talk of pay reduction.  Have to see how much of a pay reduction it is before I can give an answer to that.  I would far rather work at the Longview branch, though, the drive to Shreveport would be 50 minutes each way.  A lot of driving just go get to and from work.

Anyway, that all just started happening yesterday first with an email from my GM to my manager about it, then a call from someone at our corporate headquarters and then a call from my GM.  At least they are trying, I mean really trying.  So that's cool.

And if you somehow thought there was any lapse with kid drama, well, you thought wrong.  Latest flap was yesterday when the 17 year old - who moved out a month ago - came out of school with the 16 year old and decided that his mom was going to take him to her house so he could get some stuff and then she would take him to work.  He doesn't live with her anymore, he lives with her dad.  He wanted to leave because he basically hate her, yet here he is, deciding that she has to take him to work!

A fair amount of cussing and yelling ensued with the ensuing conversation between the two.  One of the subjects that came up was about me.  He won't text me anymore and this and that and the other thing.  Yes, before he left I was texting him and trying to talk to the boy.  But, he is full of anger and hate and it's kinda hard to talk to someone like that when you don't get any kind of breakthrough at all. But persisted anyway - until he left.  He was calling her a bitch and a list of other names and a few other things happened so I just stopped texting him after he left.

I had to ask her when we were discussing this yesterday: If he wanted to talk to me so badly, why didn't he text me?  It's not like he tried to text me and I refused to answer, nothing like that at all.  I wouldn't do that to him - or much of anyone else for that matter.  She replied he isn't like that and he wont do it.  So I said fine, I will text the boy but I doubt he's going to like what I have to say.  So I did.  It was quite lengthy and it was about his anger issue.  It was referring to the fact that even though he no longer lives with his mom, he is still acting out with her, yelling at her, cussing at her and what is with that, anyway? I sent it Facebook message so I would know if he read it.  You know, you send a private message when a person sees it there is a message at the bottom with a check mark and it says "seen" and the time it was seen.

Because I figured he would not respond to it and no, he did not.  M'lady wanted to know what I said to him, so I just copied and pasted the entire message to her - I really wanted to do that anyway so he could not come along and make accusations of what I didn't say they he would try to say that I did say or that he could try to claim I wouldn't contact him.

So that's that.  Meanwhile, the 14 year old is getting worse and worse by the week, even by the day. Today, he is refusing to go to school.  Well, call the school and let them know so it doesn't come back on you, is what I told m'lady.
_________________________

Another entry started - though this morning - just don't have time to finish.

ben

Could have sworn I posted something since Friday, the last entry on here! Must be a saved draft, lol.

M'lady is in full love mode, lol.  If it wasn't already before, it definitely is now!
We are longing for the day that I can move out there and let's get this going.
But, I need a job and income first. I don't want to move there and then try to find
a job - if possible anyway - I would rather have one secured before this happens.
In fact, it's really the next thing in line for me.  Job job job.

Meanwhile at home. 16 year old has chilled quite a lot.  Situation with the girl's parents has totally changed so now he gets to go see her or she comes to m'lady's house basically twice a week - Saturday and church on Wednesday.  The boy was begging me to go to church with them tonight - yes I know I am not there yet but I give m'lady my opinion on things and she listens to that a lot and that boy has finally figured that out.  Cause' I definitely do NOT side with him all the time. When he is acting like a bastard, he can go jump in an icy cold lake and I let him know that in no uncertain terms.

So I laid it on the line for him before I even spoke to her about it: You will have that girl over to your house on Saturday and you will have her go to your church on Wednesday and that is non-negotiable.  Okay and totally! he replies.  Okay then, but any attitude and I'm going to be pissed.  You treat your mom nice and that's that.  His reply was: "Okay:) thanks bro I love you!! "  I cannot remember any 16 year old boy telling me he loves me excepting my own son.  Of whom we say I love you to each other every time we speak.  Life is short and can be gone so fast, I always tell my boy how much I love him and how proud I am of him for what he is doing with his life.  I'm liking all this love stuff.  From her mostly, lol, but still.

So today?  She is telling me what her 12 year old boy did in the kitchen.  According to her 10 year old boy, he whipped "it" out playing with it in front of him and then pee'd on the floor.  That isn't just disgusting, that is reprehensible and a form of rebellion and definitely disrespect.  I was in shock. "That boy needs a leather belt laid on his ass".  That was my first thought.  That was my second and third thought as well.  She can't do it.   I won't be able to, either even when we're married since not my adopted son.  Of course, I COULD hold him down for her to do it!  I'm serious.  I will be out there hopefully at the end of next month.  Not a 7 day visit, I just don't have the vacation hours available for it.  But as much as I want to be with my babe I also want to have some discussion with the 14, 12 and 10 year old boys. I already talk to the 16 year old on a daily basis and though it's not the same as talking in person, our whole relationship has been through texting and Facebook messaging, so no biggies there.

I do have my work cut out for me and I do believe she believes that I will put an end to the s*** in the house. Yup, it will stop.  But it may get really ugly at first.  Cause' me?  I do not tolerate rebellion from stupid kids that walk all over their mother because they know she can't do anything about it.  It's the way they treat her that really pisses me off.

Well, anyway, work busy all 3 days this week and looking forward to a very busy day tomorrow and Friday as well.  In fact, on Friday, I have to go back up to the store in the mountains with that dude keeps offering me food and then dissing me.  This time I am just going to politely say no thank you.  At this point, I will not take food from him even if he has it in his hand.  He has crossed the line and I just don't want to go there.  Thank you, but no thank you.

I did not have a chance to finish this one, posting it anyway.

I was up in Globe/mountains on Wednesday.
Took a large, stainless steel valve to the dude that occasionally orders stuff from us. He's not loyal to any company, whoever gives him the best price - but - when it comes to finding the hard-to-find/acquire stuff, he comes to us every time.

This is a small town and small town atmosphere with everyone knowing everyone.  Every time I go up there, I greet the man  - he has a large store, big warehouse, really the only supplier of it's kind in that entire area and so he gets a lot of business, especially from the mines - every time if he is there and we always get into a conversation as if we are old friends that haven't seen or talked to each other for a long time.

Well, the tamale man shows up when I'm out in the parking lot talking to this dude.  This guy is quite the character, the dude that owns the business, not the tamale man, for clarification.  It is very difficult to describe his personality and his voice is off the wall.  Anyway, he has the window to his car down talking to me, counting a large sum of cash - I am assuming for his store cash registers - and the tamale man says something to him. He tells him to get me a pack of tamales as well. I said no, that's okay.  He's like, no, no, Ben! I'm going to get you one!  Well okay.  I was reluctant because he has told me this before about food and it never materializes.

I would rather he not offer something than to offer and then reneg/forget/ space it out/whatever, makes for hard feelings after it happens several times.  Well he gets out of the car and continues on with it.  Okay, I love tamales, thank you! But the tamale man disappeared inside the store with them.  Well, off to my pickup I went and waited - and waited - and waited - for one of the forklift operators to actually have his permission to unload the truck - even after he had already seen the valve and said okay. It's just the way things work up there, I have gotten used to it.  Paid by the hour, I think, no biggies.

Finally, half an hour later, the guy disappears into the building, finds out about the valve and comes out and unloads it.  I take the paperwork inside.  Owner is standing there talking to whoever but finishing up. I wait until he's done.  Hand him paperwork to sign including the electronic gadget like UPS has to sign. He says nothing about the tamales.  This time, I'm going to test him.  Why say such things and then just give you the birdie. That's how it feels to me, anyway, when people say things like that and then blow you off.  Hey, can I get the tamales?  He's signing my paperwork, a foot away from me, talking to no-one, definitely heard what I said.  He looks up at me and completely ignores me.

Pissed.  I did not ask, hint or even want his f****** food.  I am not broke, I can buy my OWN damned food.  Why the h*** do people toy with other people like that? Because they know they can, know that I can't say anything to him or else get into trouble with my company?  Dick.  Okay! I know not Christian talk but I get mad sometimes, what can I say.  I just said thanks and turned around and left.

Well I ended up having to drive downtown after that and do an emergency run for pipe and deliver it out to a jobsite in the far east valley.  The salesman pulls up and asks how it went?  Shit!  What is WITH that buddy of yours? and tell him the whole story.  I see him the next day, he comes pulling up.  Yeah, I talked him, he said he totally forgot and said he was sorry.  WTF?  Dude, he was standing RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME! But what is it worth getting pissed about I started thinking, next time he offers me anything, he can just keep it. Salesman said yeah, he checked yesterday after everyone had gone home and there were stll 2 dozen tamales there.  I just looked the salesman in the eye and said you know, next time I go up there, if he offers me food? I'll just politely tell him no thanks.  If he insists, I will insist that I don't want it.

Whatever.  I don't CARE about the food, it's the mind games and the toying with people that pisses me off.  God knows my thought when I went up there is that I would stop at the Burger House in Miami and buy my OWN food with my OWN money.  That was my thought long before I got there.

I hope it's a while before I have to go back up there, cool down a bit and just let it pass.  This is the 3rd time this guy has done this, this is why I am getting upset about it.  I'm not some kind of damn moocher going around with a work for food sign and I don't go around hinting at getting freebies.  I would rather NOT live like that and I DON'T!!!!!

Yup, an area in my life I need to work on, I'l give anyone that much.  Just let it ride, right?  Some things easier to do than others.  Probably the Lord throwing this stuff at me to learn how to deal with it.  Okay.

Onto other things.  The water leak.  I was sitting outside in this beautiful weather on Wednesday, hearing a noise but giving it no thought.  Dull hissing noise.  Faint.  Was sitting there quite a while just thinking about things with that sound - but it was so faint, like it was coming from a neighbor's property.  But after 30 or more minutes of hearing it, I finally started to hone in on it and tune into it.  What IS that and where is it coming from?

I'm looking at my house, that is where the sound is coming from! Get up, walk over and see the block underneath wet and hissing sound much louder now, obviously I have a water leak under there. gag.  Too late in the day, I figured to get under there Thursday and find otu what's going on.  Gag again, yesterday.  Crawl under there and find a lake and a LOT of mud.  How long has this been going on?  It is a copper fitting - it is flexible so it can be adjusted to make a 90 or 45 turn and get to the plastic pipe that it attaches to.  It had been banging up against the side of the house for who knows how long and there was a small hole - but that small hole under pressure? A lot of water.  I cut the thing off - it's copper - get out of there covered in mud, head to my company's store and get a replacement.

Back to mud. Could NOT get all the water out of the lines.  The copper would not heat up enough to sweat the joint. I was under there literally for hours.  I finally gave up after sun was going down - got it sealed enough to have a leak but NOTHING like it was with that hole.

Fast forward to today and abbreviating because it is WAY past my bedtime. I had Mark shut the water over 3 hours before I got home from work.  I got under there with my new fitting, saw no water coming out of the line, stuffed some bread up in there and then, in less than a minute, had that thing hot enough to sweat the joint and that was the end of it: perfect job, no leaks, thank you very much.  Oh yes, thank you.
Lengthy discussions  with both m'lady and 16 year old tonight.  Can't go into that because would take WAY too long and I would just rather discuss tomorrow or whenever's prudent.

G'nite folks.

ben

So.
Well.
Okay.
Huh.
Nothing bad.
Lol.
Still just stand in awe of the Lord.

This is concerning the situation with the 16 year old.  The day after I proposed marriage to m'lady and she said yes, this thing come over me.  You need to write to that lady.  Not my lady, the mother of the girl that the 16 year old is in "love" with.

I knew what I would write so....I fought it.  I didn't think she would receive it.  Why bother.  But I finally gave into this compulsion - I couldn't get past it - and wrote a rather lengthy message to that woman.  I had sent her a friend request which she had accepted and then she wrote me a nice birthday note on my Faceboook wall.  I said thanks and then asked if it would be okay to discuss a situation with her - didn't want to go into that in detail on my wall for obvious and numerous reasons.

If you really want to know, the "message" when printed out completely fills two full pages of type to the very end.  It covered the gamut. Some of it was very confrontational, such  as: "You didn't really tell a 16 year old boy that his mom just needs to get laid, did you?".  Yes she did say that to him, unfathomable speech in my view to be speaking to a teenager who isn't even your own kid - which wouldn't make it acceptable to say such things either.

I sent that message with the statement that reconciliation between the two parents and some level of forgiveness would have  to ensue if this relationship between that boy and that girl were to ensue.

I heard nothing back.  Until today.  But she did not contact me.  Instead, she contacted m'lady and asked for forgiveness and apologizing for being an idiot and letting those two talk her into doing things she should have never allowed (she called herself an idiot, I did not do that).  After ALL of this nonsense that has been going on with that boy and wanting to move out so he could have unlimited access to that girl - that girl's mom coming to pick him up at m'lady's ex's house in total defiance of m'lady's desires (she has full custody, dad only has visiting rights) - and all the rest of it, the entire situation has suddenly changed.

Boy knew nothing about this today, either.  That girl's mom laid down the law with her girl and told m'lady that if her son crosses the line, he cannot see her girl anymore. Same statement made to the girl. To me? This is totally awesome! This ends this s*** with this kid getting into his mom's face demanding he be allowed to kiss this girl (she just turned 14 a few days ago).  This just changes this thing so much, 180 degrees, that games that boy has been playing will be of absolutely ZERO use at this point: I read the note that lady sent to my lady and it was perfect as long as she intends on following through with it.

Well.  Boy will find out from girl tonight - probably already - if from no-one else.  Should be interesting to see what kind of attitude he will have now.  He gets in his mom's face and all that, is he also going to get in his girlfriend's mom's face and start all that s*** with her, too?  He can't play his dad in this, he can't play those people, yes, this should get very interesting considering all the crap he's started. Not that I am going to shove it in his face - not at all - hopefully this will be a learning experience in a good way for him.

Oh, I put in for Elk hunt yesterday before last night's deadline.  Even if I'm living in Texas by then, I could still come back for a hunt and maybe bag one.  Give me a chance to visit with my mom after the marriage - provided that has happened by then.

I also put in to the General Manager to please see if he can find me something out there.  I dunno how long that will take or if there will be anything, but I am hoping and praying cause' it would be great to just do a transfer intra-company and have my same wages and benefits going instead of starting all over again from scratch.

....and time to start looking for the next visit out there.  Gonna have to be shortened unfortunately but that's the way it is.  Looking for the end of March.

ben

Time to start trying to figure things out. How, exactly, is this going to work?
I have no idea.  Some of this I must put in the hands of the good Lord and pray and believe that He will work it out.
Meanwhile, a tenant moved out, quite unexpectedly, last night but paid up his rent until almost halfway through next month.
Strange, to say the least.
Most people that are going to do that - leave without notice - just do it and wait until I am gone to work and are gone by the time I get home.
I am undecided about re-renting the room.  Seems some objection to having all 4 rooms rented out.  The money is nice but not at the expense of losing people.

Meanwhile, m'lady finally made it home.  They had to de-ice the planes last night and that caused quite a backlog of aircraft sitting in Dallas waiting for the deicing agent to be applied so the aircraft can take off.  Meaning she got to Tyler way late and her ride was sitting out there for quite a long time waiting for the arrival of the plane.  The 16 year is going to dump a landmine on her today, I am guessing, in telling her his dad got a lawyer and going to go to court to get him out of the house.

But I prepared her for it in advance so it doesn't take her by surprise.  She knows the gist of what he is going to say and so at least she won't be shocked by it.  The boy wants total freedom  to do whatever he wants and if he ends up at his dad's house, that is exactly what he'll get.  Dad doesn't care what he does, number one, including having sex, and number 2, dad works 12 hour shifts alternating between day and night shift.  So he's gone for 12 hours at a time plus drive time to and from work plus the 15 minute handoff at work between the shifts making it over 13 hours of total, complete freedom for boys to do whatever they please, whenever they please to do it.

In my mind, that is a recipe for disaster.  But whatever.  She is going to fight it.  For the sake of that child, she is going to fight it.  In the end, who knows what will happen, Texas has much different laws about that stuff than what goes on here in Arizona.  A 16 year old could not just leave to go to another parent's house here after a divorce decree and everything has already been worked out.  I mean, the other parent could go back to court, but unlikely a judge would yield unless abuse or something like that going on.  Whatever the case, the boy was perfectly fine to wait until Valentine's Day to see his new girlfriend, but since she left, he has done a complete about-face on it.  This is all the ex's doings.  He has no friends and is replacing people his age for friends with his children.  Not to mention he would like to get some of the child support lowered, but that probably won't happen either, or if it does, it will only go down $100 per month.

Anyway, time to be off to work.

ben

It finally started to hit me.
She is gone.
I am here, she is on an airplane headed to Tyler, Texas.

ben

So, I go and get my lady and take her to the airport.  We plop down in seats right in front of the security checkpoint.  There were no other people sitting in those seats, which were rows of them.  We talked our last moments together, hugged, kissed passionately and then I just sat there and watched her taking her back pack thing and going to the desk, getting out her boarding pass and then, after putting everything away, turned around and waved at me one last time.  I continued to sit there for a  couple of minutes, but finally got up and - then suddenly became aware of eyes on me.  My God, all of those seats were full and we were sitting there in the front, kissing away, lol, oblivious to everything going on around us!

I just smiled, turned around and walked off.

Lots to think about.  Ponder. Plan.  Attempt to try and understand.  Is this really going to work out?  Between her and I, yes.  With her kids and us? I dunno. With the situations going on with older kids that hate this idea and blame their mom for everything negative that goes on in their life: no.  When I say older kids, I mean 20, 19, 17 and 16.  16 believes he is going to have the upper hand and with the help of a lawyer, he will be able to leave and go live with his dad.  I cannot possibly predict the future or what a judge will ultimately say, but with the junk that she has against the ex? Even in writing?  I will simply say 70-30 odds, maybe 60-40 odds that it doesn't go his way.  And she is not going to just let him go.

So who knows.

Meanwhile the home front. Warring neighbors got a pitbull and some other mixed breed.  It has already torn down 2 slats on that portion of wood fence trying to get at my dogs.  I just cannot believe the extremes those people will go to to make life difficult.  I WILL shoot that dog if it gets into my backyard and attacks either any of us or my dogs, that's a fact.  Police can do what they please, I doubt a jury of my peers is going to throw me in prison for defending either humans or animals on my property from a crazed animal that has actually busted through a fence.

Well just got done with long texting conversation with m'lady.  I can text realllll fast online using Google voice and typing with a regular sized keyboard instead of one of those little cell phone keyboards. She is currently on a small plane going from Dallas to Tyler.  They had to de-ice the plane - it's pretty cold there right now.  But, she was hitting the runway and me? WAY past my bedtime!

ben

Well, her visit is nearly over.  I have to go to work tomorrow, what I didn't realize or possible didn't remember I guess is that she isn't leaving on the airplane until 4:50 pm.  Meaning she'll be sitting around all day.  But I had only wanted to take 2 days off for this visit and this due to shrinking amount of available vacation hours.  Hey, if I could translate like Peter I think it was did in the Bible, I would be all over that!  Just poof and you're there!  I could go visit everyday!

Well anyway.  I'm going to take 2 days off on next trip plus a weekend.  I found a flight that leaves right after work on a Wednesday and gets me there late Wednesday night.  Meaning get there, get to her store and sleep, then have 3 full days to visit and one half day.  It's the best I can do.  I simply refuse to let my available vacation hours go below 40.  What am I going to do this summer when it's time to get married or when I need the time to move out there?

So that's the way it is going to have to be.

Meanwhile, the now 16 year old has been avoiding me.  Not normal for him, so I began texting him today - what's going on?  No reply.  Again.  No reply.  I know he's getting my messages.  So the third text was: well, I'm just going to keep bugging you until you say something to me.  I get a text back: " I've been assigned not to talk to you " I got into a short conversation with him about that, basically is this something HE wants or something someone ELSE is telling he has to do?  Cause in reality, mom has full custody of him, no-one can force him not to talk to me except his mother.  He tells me he can't say, I'm sorry.  A few more sentences and I was done. Later on, however, it dawned on me: he must have been advised, not assigned, to not talk to me.

So, his dad went out, got the lawyer and is going to attempt to get custody of him in court.  Thing is?  Dad gave him up!  Didn't want any of those kids.  Mom isn't going to just let him go without a fight, because we know what's going to happen over there. Dad works 12 hour shifts, alternating between night and day shifts.  There is no-one there to stop them from doing whatever the bleep they please including screwing girls and whatever else comes to mind with the current generation.  The boy talks to mom today: mom, we have some serious stuff to talk about when you get home.  Yup, I already know: dad's hired a lawyer.

She's continuing to get dragged down by all of this.  We prayed together today, spend some time before the Lord.  I trust God to have His way in all of this.  Who knows who will win in a court battle, but I give it far greater odds that she will win over him, the ex that is, because of the situation the ex has create with all of this in not wanting his own kids.

But whatever.  I can only pray from here.  I texted the boy back again a few hours later after realizing what was going on, but he is not budging.  Which is okay- to a point.  Mom will talk to him when she gets home.  The 19 year old daughter called her today and they had what sounded like a pleasant conversation.  I dunno.  I try not to read too much into there things, but sometimes I am guilty.  With this one though, she is out of the house, the only reason she  would have false pretenses in calling is to try and dig for information for whatever purpose.  Well have at it.

Regardless, it is my bedtime and I am going to bed.

G'nite.

ben

The neighbors - pieces of work - that live behind me have suddenly acquired 2 dogs.  They deposited those dogs onto the property that does not have a house on it.  Unbeknownst to me until an hour ago, one of them is a pitbull.  The other thing I did not know until an hour ago is that that dog actually busted it's head through 2 of the wood planks on my fence, head sticking through barking at my dogs and trying to get at them.

Mark tells me this nonchalantly as if it were nothing.  WTFreak?  Why didn't you call me?  Why didn't you call the police? He's like, well I didn't want to bother you.  ??? I'm like dude, what if that dog had gotten through the fence? What is going to stop it from eventually carrying out it's mission?  Call the police! It's a pitbull and it's also destruction of my property and a vicious dog! I do NOT like Pitbulls, they have a reputation for a good reason and I can tell you right now, if I had been here when that happened? I would bashed that dog over the head with a club!

I was not so slightly irritated that his answer to the situation was - basically nothing.  Just fix the damage and that's that. How does this address the problem?  This does not bode well, in my thinking, for not selling off this house even if it has to be a short sale versus leaving them in charge. If they can't deal with something that simple, I will need to rethink all of this.  Gonna have to have a serious sit down and talk cause' I will short sale this house before I leave it in the hands of people that are incapable of dealing with the crap that occurs in this neighborhood.

Meanwhile...spent the entire day with m'lady - of course.  We went and had a coffee and frittata at a local coffee shop.

But on the way there? I pull up to a stop light and I notice a truck come cranking over several lanes behind me and the driver of the vehicle throwing his hands up in the air, apparently agitated about something? But I did not cut this truck off, I have NO clue. I pull into the driveway of the strip mall with the coffee shop, this guy goes down the side road and then sees me from a driveway that goes to that street, pulls in there, gets out of his truck and throws his hands up in the air again?!! I'm like, call 911 and get my gun ready? What is the deal with this person. He gets up to my car and I look at him and finally recognize him - a high school buddy that I used to hang out with ALL the time! Hadn't seen him in what?  31 years?  Talked for a while and then got to moving.


After the coffee shop, onto one of today's agendas: she has been wanting to buy me a pair of cowboy boots. Went to the Boot Barn and checked out all the boots there in my size, nothing struck either one of us so the salesman advised us to go to Sheplers.  Why is this salesman advising us to go to a competitor?  He must not make a commission off the sales of boots, apparently.  So, off to Sheplers, which the pastor's wife had recommended we go to anyway.  After looking at and trying on several pairs of boots,  I was down to 2 pair.  But after looking at the price tag of one pair, I said, uhhh, no, that's WAY too expensive!  She didn't care and thought they looked better on me than the other pair I was looking at.

Wow, and nice!  Thank you baby!

We got out to the car and realized it was still too early to go to my mom's place so we went to a place called the Container Store instead.  There isn't one in the area she lives in so we walked around and looked at - everything - in the entire store.  After that I called mom, she said okay, we headed over there.  Spent  over 4 hours visiting with her - she is a good cook and makes the best food - and then headed out yet again after a very good visit.

She wanted to see if she could find the house she lived in when she lived here, in the Phoenix area, decades ago.  We kinda went around in circles but found the place she thought it was.  After that, I figured to take her to the Cheesecake Factory - she alluded to the idea of going there before she even got here so I decided to surprise her with it.

Came back to my house, hung out watching a movie for a couple of hours, talking the entire day about everything under the sun and then took her back to the pastor's house for the night.

Good day with her.  Tomorrow last full day with her.  She leaves Monday at 5 pm on a flight back, but I have to work.  I will take her to the airport after I get off of work, but I cannot take another day off.  I continue to tell her that I cannot just keep taking alot of time off, there will be nothing left and I will have nothing left to deal with that's coming up later on this year: Marriage and moving out to Texas.  She wants me to come out there or her come to me every month, but this simply isn't realistic.  So I told her the next trip I would be taking 2 days off and then add weekend to it and that would be it.

She was obviously not liking that idea but that is all that I can do.  Her coming out her doesn't change the fact that I have to take time off work to spend it with her.  It's only February and I am down to 57 hours left of vacation time.  If I were to go out there next month and take 2 days off, add another 10 hours since I get 10 hours added every month, back up to 67 hours but take off 16 hours for 2 days off and now I am down to 51 hours. So unfortunately, it is going to have to have a couple month lapse in visits.  I just can't keep using up all my vacation time and have nothing left by the middle of summer.  I do have 3 floating holidays and 3 personal days I can take, but that has to be saved for the move out there.

I just don't want to get to Christmastime or whatever and have nothing left or very little.

Well whatever.  It's getting late and I need to get to bed.

ben