Finally got some more information about the co-worker that was killed.  He was driving up a hill on the highway, came to the top to be greeted by a crash that had occurred right there on the other side of the hill.
Road conditions were bad with ice and snow.  A witness said he was swerving back and forth (lost control) attempting to avoid the crash, the pickup he was driving rolled several times and finally crashed into the semi truck that was already in the other crash that had already occurred.

The coroner apparently stated that he had 2 very deep gashes in his head - ie: brain injuries and a large number of broken bones.  I did not hear whether he had survived and taken to a hospital or had been killed on impact, but from the sound of the injuries I would veer towards either instant death or fast death shortly after the crash occurred.

As word spreads around that someone was killed in our company, so are the reactions.  Today, walking into a vendor to get some materials, the desk-dude was shocked to see me standing there.  "I thought you were dead".  A not-so-comforting thought.  No, not me.  The dude that smokes, that's the one that is dead.  He's the only one that smokes that goes around picking things up, so easiest way to identify who it was that passed on to the next life.

3 days left to go one the meatless fast.  Although I am definitely ready for a thick, juicy steak, the fast has been good and productive.  Got some interesting words from the Lord at the prayer meeting a few nights ago and am going to go again to the final prayer meeting concerning this fast tomorrow night (Lord willing, of course).  I think I might have a beer with that steak!

I was contemplating going up north tomorrow but with Duke's situation, I think I am going to give it a pass until next weekend.  And anyway, the prayer meeting tomorrow night and the end of the fast on Sunday, this weekend really wouldn't be a good one to take off up there anyway.  I tend to try and go up on a Friday afternoon so I can have 2 full nights up there and come back Sunday morning.  But in this case, I haven't been up there in a while, so if I go next weekend instead of this, I can just sleep in on Sunday and come back by early afternoon and skip church for one weekend.  Not the end of the world to miss one Sunday at church.

I was speaking with my mom today and she is all kinds of concerned about the door to her shed up there.  Apparently my older brother was up there a bit ago and told her the door won't shut properly and can't be locked.  She wants me to fix it while I'm up there.  Well, maybe.  They have the high temp for 2 Saturdays from now forecast at 56 degrees with the low at 24.  My first thought in cold weather like that is not to be fixing things in freezing cold weather.  We'll see.  My first thought is to take some cocoa up and already have coffee and tea up there and spend some quality time in the Word up in the mountains.  Of course I have Direct TV up there and internet access as well, so, not like cut off from the world (though in reality, I don't wonder if it wouldn't be a good idea to go ahead and take a break from internet/facebook/all of this stuff and just meditate on the Word and on the Lord).

Caleb wants to take my car up to Heber - which is further on up the road from my mother's property, about another 50 miles I think - and go to the Salvation Army camp again with a friend in February.  I am undecided about that one.  He is a good enough driver - he hasn't been in any accidents since he started driving and no tickets - but driving on open highway and up on the Rim where there my be the potential for ice on the road is a completely different story.  Not to mention that car is my ride to and from work every day.  I will probably let him take it, but I told him I would be praying about it first before making any decision.  Any "check" in my spirit about it and I will be inclined to say no.  He started talking about taking that old Buick up there and I simply said no.  I don't trust that car to do anything more than get him around town.  If it breaks down in town, not terribly difficult to get it towed home or to a garage.  Out  on the open highway, totally different story.  Rent a truck and a car trailer to get it back.  I actually have no idea whether that thing would be good for a drive up there or not, I just simply don't think it's a good idea.  I still have this thing about my co-worker being killed on an icy road on Tuesday running through my head, probably that is weighing on me more right now than anything.

I hit Walmart on the way home from work today to get some dog food.  I figured to get some 12 gauge target rounds - I figured wrong.  Not a single box of ANY kind of 12 gauge ammo in the entire case.  ONE box of .40 caliber in there - expensive stuff at $45 per box, no thanks.  I had been in that store about a month ago looking and it was low on ammo then, but this was even worse.  I read today that some group wants to sue the government for allowing lead in bullets - their reasoning they did away with lead in everything else.  Ummm, how much of the supply of ammo out there doesn't have some amount of lead in it? Yeah.

I'm not going to go into politics here, at least not today.  Too much going on, much of it bluster and hot air, the same old stuff not even packaged differently.  Dems blaming GOP, GOP blaming Dems.  Same-o, same-o.  The only thing I have seen of interest is the rise in the stock market - which has been great for my 401k!  Umm, but let's not get too excited, my 401k does not have that much money in it.

Enough.  Tomorrow is Friday, the entire day at work from the time I clock in until the time I clock out will be overtime.  I was informed today that management "bitches" about it regardless of whether it is justified or not.   Our 2-man crew has delivered/sold over 500k in sales this month at about 15% gross profit. I guess profit could stand to be a bit higher, but no other store in our region has higher GP so no biggies.  Meaning, to me, that the OT is justified.  All other branches have a lot more people working at it and most of them do not do anything close to the amount of sales we are dealing with each month.  They are, in effect, saving money in not having to pay another full time person and  the subsequent benefits they would incur with another person.   I think the not having to pay substantial amounts of benefits to another person is quite the savings in itself - but - we had asked for another person to be hired either for our shop only or to be split up time-wise between our branch and the main branch.  Nope, not happening.  So, I have no sympathy.  I need the money anyway, definitely not complaining about my paychecks : )

G'nite.

ben

Still no word on what exactly happened in the crash with the coworker.  I was downtown earlier at the main branch - new pics posted on the break room wall of the party a while back, he was in 2 of them. A bit eerie, him standing there with his wife.  One of those things that will take a while to get used to.  His signature on the last set of transfers that he had signed off on coming over to our place; the pics on the wall; the missing pickup with the company name/logo on it; not seeing him downtown - he would always help load the truck if he was around.

Duke is much better.  Yesterday morning he could barely get up to go outside, but when I got home from work he was as close to good ole' Duke as it was going to get for only having had one day pass since the attack.

Not much else going on, I was going to go up north this weekend but Duke's injuries sort of have me playing the guessing game as to whether I actually should embark on such a course of action or just wait until another weekend comes along - though I would really like to get up there and spend a weekend in the snow and mountains.

I am going to visit the people's house with the pitbulls and discuss with them about repaying my hospital expenses.  One would hope they would see that they are liable and responsible and simply pay it back, whether all at once or in payments, I don't care, but I am definitely not the one that had 3 pitbulls running loose in a residential neighborhood.  I hear too many people telling me how pitbulls are great dogs if "raised properly".  Yes, well I haven't seen too many of them raised properly, in fact none so far.  From everything I've seen in the news and now up close and personal, they are vicious dogs that can kill both humans and animals.

Enough. I am sitting out a jobsite waiting to get some machines unloaded.  They aren't in any hurry.  I have been on overtime for this pay period since 9:30 this morning.  Meaning the rest of today and all of tomorrow are basically OT.  Couple that with 2 weeks pay for the Safe Driver Award on  my next paycheck and that check should be substantial.

G'day.

ben

Coworker Dead/ Duke Attacked By Pitbulls

The title of this entry is the kind of  day that has happened.

This morning, early AM, a co-worker was on I-40 eastbound heading to New Mexico on company business - usually they send him out to fix fire hydrants or to do pipe welding projects - when he hit an ice patch.  There are no more details at the moment about what exactly happened as far as what he ran into, but he died at the scene of the accident.

I knew this guy well, we talked frequently about nothing in particular whenever I saw him at the main branch, which was frequently enough.  He's one of those guys that  everyone loves.  Dedicated, loyal company-man.  Hard worker.  Loving father, grandpa and husband.  52 years old, in excellent health, a man that left for work in the morning but will never return home.  The "glue" that held his extended family together, he was basically raising his daughter's kids.

Everyone at work in shock and disbelief.  The reality of it not really setting in - yet.

I begin praying for the family.  I have experienced enough grief in my lifetime in lost loved ones to know what they are going through.  Yet, the element of an untimely death, unexpected, surreal, just unbelievable.  But that's the same thing that happened to my best friend some 3 years ago now - heart attack out of the blue that took his life right there at his house.

I get home and definitely commit to the idea of going to the church prayer meeting tonight.  I was going to leave early, just wanted to sit in a quiet place and seek the Lord.  The neighborhood kid had taken Sophie out for a walk and then came back for Duke - I don't allow Prince on walks anymore, his bum leg is only going to get worse with extended walks.

I'm waiting for the kid to get back with Duke so I can leave for church.  He comes knocking on the glass sliding door to the kitchen. I'm looking at him wondering why he just didn't come to the other door?  I open it up and ask him where Duke is?  Well Duke was attacked by 3 Pitbulls, was his response.  Now I'm freaking out, well where IS he?  He's over there where I left him.  What are you talking about, why did you leave him over there?

Turns out the people that saved Duke's life were holding him, the police had been called and the police had brought the kid to my house to get me to come back to get Duke.  This day getting more surreal by the hour.  I follow the police car to where Duke is, jump out of my car and run over to him.  He is a bloody mess. He had been bitten all over his body, and when I say all over, I mean his neck, all 4 legs, his left ear had been bitten so many times you couldn't tell how many bite wounds.  His back, chest, everywhere.

I'm just dumbfounded at this point.  The men that saved Duke - they beat those Pitbulls off of him, Duke had NO idea what to do with 3 vicious dogs attacking him out of the blue so they said he just laid down on the street.  I have no doubt in my mind those dogs would have killed him if there hadn't been human intervention.  I had to wait until they were done with my information, the owner's of the Pitbulls information and waiting for Animal Control to show up.  Duke is standing there shaking blood out of his head every few seconds, in obvious pain.  Well I patiently waited and Animal Control finally showed up.  The guy comes over and tells me the animal hospital on Hardy drive is still open and is the closest place. Good, cause' I've taken my dogs there before, they will have my information on file.  I thank the officers for their help in the matter, shake the men's hands and thank them for saving Duke's life and then take off to the hospital.

I could have dealt with a couple of bite wounds myself, but this was too much, especially his ear.  They take Duke into the back and then take me to a waiting room, where the vet comes in and hands me a prepared paper with the "news" on it: $520 to knock him out, deal with all the wounds, put staples in him, give him a shot of antibiotics, give me the antibiotic pills and the pain killer.  I have antibiotics at home, but I just decided to go ahead and just do the whole thing there.  They sent me packing - told me they would call me when they were done.

Well, I left and headed straight to church.  Going home made no sense to me, going to church and seeking the Lord did.  I was there 5 minutes before it all hit me.  Waves of grief came over me for the man that died and his family.  I felt the heart of the Lord going out to them.  I prayed and prayed for that family and shed no small amount of tears.  I thought of all the times we laughed together about different things at work and the last time he had been over at our branch, spending the day helping us get ready for the inventory - he was there last week.  I had just talked to him yesterday.  I thought about Duke - but I knew he was going to be okay albeit probably a bit messed up in the head after that kind of attack.

Well, I asked everyone at church to pray for the family of the man that died today, in a vehicle, alone, on a cold stretch of highway on Interstate 40, out in the middle of nowhere.

I had talked to a salesman at work on the phone earlier, he was all messed up about it.  He continued to exhort me over and over to be safe out there on the roads in the semi.  It was amazing that he actually sounded like he cared for me, a person I hardly ever talk to. It's the reality of death, especially a sudden , unexpected death.  It hits home, you start thinking about your own life. When is it going to end?  How is it going to end?  My manager and the lady that works in a different department in our company but uses one of our office spaces were totally out of it.  I could tell my manager wasn't really being able to deal with it all that well.

Well, the prayer service was at the end and the pastor called everyone up to pray together, but I had to leave.  It was almost 8:30 and that's when the hospital closes - they called me during the service telling me to be there no later than 8:30.  I didn't want to leave Duke there overnight, so I rushed back.  He was still out of it from being sedated, not even close to being fully awake, in fact they said he probably couldn't even see yet.  He had to be carried to the car.  I had to lift him into the car and then lift him back out.  He couldn't walk so he laid down right next to the car on the driveway.  Well that isn't going to work, I needed to get him inside on his bed.  I coaxed him up and he was wobbling all over the place.  Took about 5 minutes to actually get him into the house and onto his bed.  I left the bedroom to go turn things off and h started crying.  At least for right now, he won't let me out of his sight.

It's way past my bedtime.  I'm attempting to wind down, I figured writing out this entry would help and so it is.  Finally getting sleepy, Duke has settled down though shaking, but I think (hope) he'll go to sleep after I shut off the light.

It's been quite the day.

ben

Final week of fasting.  Yesterday was certainly a test.  Lots of meat being served in my kitchen by various tenants who were attempting to entice me to "fudge".  No thanks, I made it this far, only 7 days left to go, I'm gonna make it through this.

But the giant meatloaf sitting there on my kitchen counter was not just a little bit tempting.

For the final part of the fast, I'll be spending some serious time in prayer attempting to hear/see what direction God wants my life to go.  I'm not really sure, to be honest.  At least many times, things you pray about and seeking answers for have various little confirmations sent your way if/when you finally believe you have heard the still, small voice of the Lord and want to start acting upon it.

I say "usually" because any time you try to cage God into a the box of "He always does it this way", well, then it most certainly will not happen that way.  He's God, after all and we're mere mortals.  His thoughts are far above ours.  He says the whole picture, we only "see through a glass, dimly", as the scripture so succinctly puts it.  No-one can see the entire picture, certainly no-one on this earth, besides God Himself.

So, a certain amount of trust and a lot of faith is necessary to simply, blindly, follow after God not necessarily knowing where the next step is going to lead you.  But that's the beauty of following after Christ. You don't know, He does!  He isn't going to lead you into death traps and situations that are mortally challenging - unless of course that is your eventual ending in life for His glory.  How can your death lead to Him receiving glory?, you ask.  This isn't really that hard of a question - there are many things that can happen through a person's death with others seeing it and God using it as an opportunity for more souls to be brought into His kingdom.

Not that I am seeking to die, lol.  Not at all.  At the same time, I just got through reading the news and you see all kinds of people in the news that have died sudden deaths, such as the hundreds of people that died in that far in that bar.  I can't even imagine the horror of that scene.  Well I can imagine it to some degree, I can't imagine burning to death in a fire - while being able to see an exit in front of you and not being able to access it.

If you are going to die, which we all must, then might as well see that eventual ending be used for the glory of God, is all I am saying.  But that's an entire story and entry in itself and I have to leave for work in a few minutes, so put that one on the shelf.

Speaking of work, it has rained for 3 days now.  Saturday it rained all day long without stopping.  This probably means that most if not all contractors will be shut down since most job sites will be too muddy to do much of anything on.

Which means work today?  Probably going to be the longest 8 hours I have spent at work in any recent times, considering there won't be much to do.

G'day.

ben

The Giant Spool

It's still raining!  I mean, the ground is getting saturated and it's just wonderful outside!  My fishies in both ponds are all over it!

Unfortunately, I frequently run into construction workers and their bosses who have not much of a clue on how to load or unload trucks. Such was the case the other day in loading a giant spool.  A piece of pipe with a flange attached to the end or both ends.  In this case, 36 inch diameter pipe, one flange, cement lined, asphaltic coated steel type of pipe.  Around 4,000 pounds - conservative guess.  I can look it up on our system, but you get the point: very heavy.

So, he puts the spool down on the boards on the trailer, but what I couldn't see and didn't know was that he had the forks tilted forward.  Ideally, with an object that large that also rolls, you attempt to get your forks level and set it down gently.  If it begins rolling, then you simply tilt the forks in the opposite direction.

Well, the spool begins rolling - right at me.  I grabbed a hold of it in an attempt to stop the thing from rolling right off the side of the truck, which would have destroyed it (we're talking between 10 and 15 grand for this thing). I was pushing with all my might, my right hand was getting gouged by the sharp corner on the flange on the spool (didn't realize it at the time, adrenaline pumping type of thing) and I was preparing myself to jump out of the way of the thing.

But, I managed to get the momentum of the thing stopped and got the spool to stop rolling.  It was then that I realized he had the forks tilted forward and STILL had them tilted forward.  It took all that is within me to not start cussing the man out and give him an education on forklift operation at the same time.  Instead, I didn't say anything, he let the thing down off the forks and then there was no pressure.

Only then did I also realize that my right thumb had a deep gouge in it, bleeding and it appeared the meat inside the thumb had been smashed to the side of where the metal was pushing against it.

Although I was in no danger - well I was and wasn't - I was quite ready to jump off the side of that truck and out of harm's way - I don't think I will ever do anything like that again.  They can have THEIR people up on the truck and attempt to stop a giant, rolling object that is gaining momentum and hard to stop and see how they like it.  If it were me operating that forklift,  the situation would not have evolved into what it did.

As for today, I rented via pay-per-view on Direct TV the movie Taken 2 with Liam Neesom.  I read the "critic's" reviews.  The ones I read gave it such a low rating that I pretty much figured I would like the movie since I loved the first one and I wasn't wrong about that.  Yes, there are some very unrealistic scenes in the movie, I'll give the critics that much.  But what action movie doesn't?  Take those with a grain of salt.  Lots of interruptions, though, with people traipsing in and out of the kitchen - making a lot of noise and so, I am going to watch it again.  I have much of nothing to do today, one more weekend I have decided to take to try and get completely beyond this illness that had beset me.

And - after taking a long break from writing this entry, yet it is still raining outside.  Absolutely gorgeous weather.  I had windows and doors opened, but closed them because it was getting quite cool in here.

As for the fast, still on it.  Meatless Daniel fast.  I'm figuring that by the time sundown of 2 Sundays from now gets here, I will be ready for a fat, juicy steak and all the trimmings.  Or a delicious, thick burger.  In the meantime, praying and seeking the Lord.  The prayer meeting last night was very good.

Enough.

A few sniffles left, a clearing of the throat here and there, an occasional coughing bout in the middle of the night, that's what's left of this coughing cold.  I now hear there is a stomach virus going around and please, Lord, keep me away from that one! I have had TWO already, I don't WANT a third!

It's raining.  A nice little sprinkling.  Okay, I prefer a heavy, hard raining/drizzling, but around these parts, I'll take what we get and be happy and content with it.  The rain forecast came out of the blue, since the forecasters hadn't said anything about rain until the night before it started. Lol, the life of a weather forecaster.  I think they have a bulls eye target and they throw arrows at the target.  Whatever word for weather it lands on, that's what the forecast is.

I found out yesterday that I am getting the Safe Driver Award.  That's 2 weeks worth of pay for - free.  I'll take it.  It will be nice to have a buffer once again for any problems that come up.

Prayer meeting tonight.  I came home from work incredibly tired.  I had no choice, literally, but to go to the bedroom and take a long nap.  I would have fallen asleep out here, at my desktop in the kitchen, had I not.  I was that tired.  Just not sleeping well since I got sick.  Well, I haven't really been sleeping well for 8 years, but that's another story.  It's been even worse since these 2 viruses I contracted, one ending and then another starting a week later.  Hopefully my sleep will return to me soon.  Regardless, I can sleep in tomorrow if need be.

Oh, the prayer meeting - well I'm definitely going.  I need  it.

My 4 version Bible came today.  I looked on Ebay to track it, it said it was going out for delivery today.  Yes, and it's RAINING out there. I ran outside to find the package had been chucked under a bush in the front yard.  Geeze.  Well I got it in time, the box was drenched but the bible was wrapped in plastic and the inside of the box was still dry enough that, coupled with the plastic, the Bible was intact without any water damage.  It has 4 version of the Bible on each page, side by side.  It is in fine print, the only real bad part about it - meaning having to use reading glasses to read it.  It is almost 3 inches thick!  So home use only, but I expected that anyway, I need to get another one to carry with me.

Well, time to take a read in the new Bible and then head off to church.

G'day.

ben

First off, the Daily Grind:
I am feeling MUCH better today! Yeeeehaww!  Yesterday I was a coughing machine, relentless, on-going all day long. Last night I put the humidifier on in my bedroom and after it drained out the entire water reservoir I filled it up again.  This morning?  Hardly coughing at all and starting to  feel better.

Work - is work.  It has it's interesting points, but that because I am not chained down to a desk all day long, I am outside working or in the truck driving.  It kind of reinforces the idea that an inside sales position and I?  Probably not a good mix.  Outside sales would be awesome, but - you have to go through the inside thing first to get that kind of promotion.

Now onto more important matters, namely, the Daniel fast that I am on.  It's been 10 days since I have had any meat and up to this point, it has hardly been a "chore" at all.  I don't dream of hamburgers and steaks all day long, those thoughts don't even occupy my mind at all. I get hungry, I just eat what I am allowed to eat on this fast and that's that.

But the real stuff is in the prayer and the denial of self.  There are other things that I am engaging in for this fast  that are also having a real effect.  I so much feel that I have simply squandered away my days since I got divorced, hiding in my cave, becoming almost hermit-like in recusing myself from ministry and simply leading a life that is not fit for the calling that God has upon my life.  Not that I am anything special, but I know there is so much more that I am supposed to be doing for the Lord.  I have no good excuses, just lame ones.

But even now, I remember a word I got after I got divorced and had this feeling that God wanted nothing to do with me in terms of ministry, a word that has been sitting on a dust-filled shelf in my memory banks that just suddenly came out today:  You are NOT disqualified from ministry!  The word disqualification had been churning over and over in my mind, but I spoke nothing of it to anyone.  A woman of God from an online ministry wrote to me one day on her internet site and proclaimed those and many more words from the Lord that I had been thinking over and over.  The word she gave me was so precise, accurate and directly aimed at what I was then-experiencing, there is no way I could adjudge that as anything else but from the mouth of the Lord Himself.

Yet, I wandered off that path and basically did nothing.  Work, that was it.  I did look for a church a few times and started attending one but ended up leaving and then attending another one - which I also left.  The pastor was a nice man and all, but I couldn't help but think this guy really was well out of his calling.  Only when Caleb came alive in the Lord did I come to grips with reality and come to terms that my life had drifted far away from what I was and am supposed to be doing in and for the Lord.

I couldn't possibly sit here and tell you what, or perhaps more to the point: where I should be at right now in terms of ministry, but I can say that the starting point, at least for me and for now, will be through the church I am going to.  They have been very patient with me as I have worked to deal with the issues that life offers - which usually are not all that pleasant thank you - but I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  Ask me about that light last year and I would have told you I still only see darkness, no where near the end.

Okay, backtracking a bit: I did do some things that I have always felt the Lord wants me to do during these years after the divorce.  I have given large quantities of food to hungry families.  I have helped people keep their lights on - easy to do if a person has a M-Power card, you don't give them the money you simply put it on their card.  Jesus simply said to feed the hungry, that's something, at least, that I have kept doing throughout this time.

Well, anyway, this fast is having a serious effect that I did not expect in renewing my desire to get back into some form of ministry - whether in the church or not - and also simply digging into the Word and trying to keep my mind stayed on the Lord all day long. Can't say that is happening 24 hours a day,  but certainly I'm feeling better about myself in this regard.

On a slightly different topic, I won an Ebay auction a few days ago for a Bible that has 4 different versions of the Bible side-by-side.  A great study Bible, you can read the same scripture in 4 different versions and get a much fuller perspective of what is actually being said - and imparted.  I don't actually HAVE the Bible yet, paid for it but don't expect to receive it for another week or so.  I am far more confident using Ebay these days because of their "Buyer Protection" plan.  If you don't receive an item you paid for, you WILL get your money back as long as the auction says that the purchase is covered by that plan.  Or if the item received is not what was listed in the auction (which happened to me last year when I bought a pond filter and it turned out to be something completely different and worth far less in value than what was advertised: I eventually got my money refunded to me). Ebay didn't use to have that protection and it was a gamble every time you bought something.

Well, that's it for now.  It's time to go to bed.  Worked an 11-1/2 hour day today and I am bushed.

G'nite.

ben

A trip to the doctor yesterday resulted in not much of anything.  They claimed it is still viral and not bronchitis.  Offered me cough medicine with codeine.  All nice and fine, but I can't take that stuff during the week.  Even with a prescription, it simply isn't a risk I'm willing to take at work having had taken it the night before.  Certainly, I couldn't use it while working.  And anyways, I am running a humidifier at night which fairly well reduces and for periods of time eliminates the otherwise constant coughing.

So, grin and bear it.  As it stands, there is a prayer meeting tonight - which I won't be attending since it started 5 minutes ago and I am heading to my bedroom in a few minutes to crank up the humidifier and get my lungs feeling "good" again.

The doctor informed me to come back in 3 days if I am not getting better by then.  Hardly.  I'll wait up to a week - at least - before going back.  I have too much of a lifelong history of bronchitis, a condition I would like to completely avoid at this point in time, but if it happens, I will be asking the doc for a steroid injection.

More?  Sure, but I don't have time for it now.  I'm heading off to the bedroom.

ben

I don't know what came at me - a resurgence of the flu or just a head cold, but whatever it is, it's pretty much unbearable. It's easy enough,  I guess, to lay in bed and do nothing.  But, to go to work and be productive, a different story altogether.  Friday, I left work at around 12:30 pm - 6-1/2 hours of work and all I could handle.  My manager was home with his daughter, who has strep throat.  The operations manager simply told me to leave, it was obvious to anyone that I wasn't feeling well and that I wasn't really doing that well, even though I was working.

I have no idea about tomorrow.  I forced myself out of bed this morning, at 8:00 am which is wayyyyyyy later rise-time for me than normal, took a shower and got ready for church.  I wanted to go in for prayer if nothing else.  I ended up staying for the entire service and getting prayer at the end.

Well whatever.  I believe in prayer, the ability of believers to pray for each other for people to get well and that I stand on.  I am feeling better, but certainly not anything near 100%.

This is day 7 over the 21 day Daniel fast and surprisingly to me, I have not missed meat at all.  I did not know the selection of meatless foods that are available.

It's very nice outside - much different than the temps last week - the temp is 72 degrees outside but standing in the sun it's much warmer.  Pond temps have risen a good 12 degrees since last week, an encouraging sign as I don't necessarily think 40 plus degree temps in the water are all that good for them.  The dogs - will spending quality time back outdoors now that morning temps are back up in the bearable range.

Done.  Intend on going to bed very much early today.

Friday.
I have a full blown head cold with chest congestion.
Yuck.
Worse is my manager is out again today, so operations manager is in taking his place.  Not that that's bad, but I want to get out of there as early as possible.  We'll see.  I foresee another weekend at home, laying around, attempting to recover as I was a few weeks ago with that flu junk that is going around.

ben

The damage is done.
I didn't really figure that going through a 25 degree night would end up with no damage to my plants, but I was hoping that it would be minimal - for whatever reason I don't know, just hope.

So it is, actually.  We had a frost go through here 3 years ago that wasn't near as bad as what we just went through and that almost killed a large number of my plants.  In this case, yes, some serious damage, but given enough time they will come back.  Well, excepting the small ficus trees.  several of them 2 to 3 feet tall have all their leaves dying, which isn't a good sign.  The 2 large ones - well, one that had more exposure, the entire top of it is damaged and will die.  The other one has a much taller tree hanging over it and it didn't experience any damage at all, that I could see.

The front yard had some hits as well, but nothing I don't think that can't come back, eventually, come Spring and new life.

Fasting and praying.  I haven't had meat since Sunday afternoon but strangely enough, at least so far, I haven't really missed it that much.  It is noticeable, however, that you don't get the full feeling of eating vegetables and such that you do after eating pretty much any meal that includes a portion of meat in it.  I started dieting at the beginning of the year, but with this meatless diet I am now almost 7 pounds lighter.  I have read and heard that eliminating meat out of your system for a while definitely helps your body to cleanse itself and also to lose weight.  I'm eating more oatmeal than anything.

Well, enough for one day.

ben

Prayer service.
I went last night and simply sat there and took in the presence and love of the Lord.

"I don't believe in all that stuff".

Then don't.  You are simply missing out on the best thing that exists anywhere.

Work is beginning to get monotonous and boring.  Same thing, every day.  Nothing new.  I am getting restless.  There is more to life than punching a time clock in and out.  Nothing wrong with working, but there are other types of work out there that have eternal consequence that are getting much more alluring to me.

No, I'm not quitting my job.  But I am looking into other things to do with my free time.

Last night of freezing temps.  Regarding my plants.  I am hopefully able to take all those sheets and blankets off of the plants today and get them soaking in the sun again.  From the looks of the forecast, it may not have gotten as cold this morning as they thought it was going to, but they mentioned a freeze warning so no point in taking all that stuff off, just left it on there one more night.

Meatless diet - prayer and fasting is what it actually is - continues on.  The Pastor's wife handed me a bag full of cooked foods last night at the prayer service - I mean a large, heavy bag full of stuff.  All of it meatless, of course, but very nice.

Just a few words thrown out there, gotta get to work.

G'day.

ben

This year, I must fly somewhere.
I don't really care where.
I haven't flown in years now and it's beginning to eat at me.
And I don't just want to fly in any aircraft, either, though I guess it wouldn't be the end of the world whatever type of commercial jet I might end up in, but my favorite plane is the Boeing 747.  It's been a long, long time since I've flown in one of those.
I have never flown over the ocean - though I think the cost of a round trip flight to anywhere overseas probably a bit more than perhaps what I can come up with this year - that would be awesome.  I wouldn't even care about the destination, the trip there would be my fun with it.

Okay, I had to look: a round trip flight to Rome, Italy around a grand.  That undoubtedly not including all the fees they dump on everyone nowadays.  I haven't flown in so long, I really would have no idea what to expect at the airport with all the security, fees and and junk.  England about the same.

I dunno why I am talking about this, just something that is in me that won't go away.  The desire grows as time passes.

And to finish this, I am now at 106 hours of vacation time saved up : )

About 3-1/2 hours the church-wide fast begins.  I am fully prepared at this point with all kinds of vegetarian dishes available both frozen and canned plus I will be making some home made dishes as well. But, I figured to get into it first and get rolling along with it and then find my motivation to actually cook something different than what I have already purchased, lol.

I have been inspecting what damage may have occurred to my plants from the last 2 nights of below freezing temps.  The damage is only to those susceptible plants. Those plants that have some damage are the parts of the plants I simply could not cover.  I would have to have a lot more sheets/blankets to do that.  I need to remind myself for next year that I need probably twice as much sheets as what I currently have to be able to cover everything completely that needs to be covered.

One of my Ficus trees - well the sheet come off in the breeze I guess - and it has sustained extensive damage.  The Sissoos still look good, actually, but tonight? It's supposed to get down to 27 degrees and tomorrow it's expected to hit 31.  The 27 degree deal is what I am looking at.  That's cold.  If it lasts too long in terms of being that far below freezing, well, I can only hold out hope : )

The flowers are gone on any plants at this point.  That means that both of my hummingbird feeders are seeing a LOT of activity.  I have 2 of them, one at the south end of the house and one on the east side.  I can see both from inside the house.  I can also see the levels of both of them going down quite rapidly, far quicker than anything I would see in the summertime.  In reality, those birds are not supposed to stick around here during the winter, they are supposed to head to whatever point south.

_______________________________________

Long interlude.  Attempting to try and get myself back to liking hot tea, I have been drinking far too much coffee.  Earl Grey is good - with a bit of milk and sweetener.  I know there is some other type of tea out there that I like without adding anything.  I think it's the kind of tea they serve at Chinese restaurants, just have to find out what kind of tea that is.

Regardless, it has begun.  The fast, that is.  I'm offa here.

ben

Incredibly good sleep last night.
However, getting to sleep was another story entirely.
Extreme temptation came over me to the likes I haven't experienced in quite a while.
Not going to go into the specifics, but I was laying in bed, looking at the news on my laptop.  After I started praying, well, the next thing I knew, I was waking up, laptop still there, didn't remember going to sleep and then remembered what I had been experiencing and also the fact that - it was gone.

Strange stuff.

Woke up at 5:30 am - slept in an hour - and got up to take a shower.  Immediately upon exiting the shower, I heard what sounded like a horn going off.  Couldn't tell for sure, but got dressed quickly and headed outside.  The old Buick, the horn was going off by itself.  Upon hitting the center of the steering wheel, it went off, only to come on again 5 minutes later.  I am sure the neighbors must have loved that, that horn on that car is very loud, old style thing, not one of this high pitched irritant horns, this is just a plain out blaster.

I got it to go off- but if it keeps happening I am going to disconnect the horn entirely.  I decided to go out and see how my fishies are doing in this cold weather.  It got down to 30 degrees, I think, this morning and it's still 45 degrees out at almost 11:00 am.  One pond has a heater, the other does not.  They were just sitting there, not moving, which I expected in being in such cold conditions.

Off to Denny's.  Nice Lumberjack slam - going to eat well until tomorrow Sundown and then it's time to engage in that 21 day fast.  After that, I headed to Whole Foods.  Interesting store, definitely geared for vegetarians - of which I am not - but bought a bunch of stuff I figured to take the place of meat.  I know what I am fasting that after a while, just about anything starts tasting like a steak dinner. Lol.

After that the bank and a deposit and then off to Petco.  If one pond is going to have a heater, they both are.  The third pond has no fish in it.  I am going to deal with that pond in the Spring, until then, it's just got plants in it.  Anyway, the $39 spent on a 300 watt heater (highest wattage heater they had available), I figured the cost of that and extra electricity still would come nothing close to the cost of replacing those fish if they all died out there because of it getting too cold.

It is an interesting journey to get my mind completely back to the point it was long ago, before the church fiasco, divorce, loss of friends, etc etc etc.  Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

Isaiah 26:3  This isn't mumbo-jumbo, pie-in-the-sky, this is reality. This is what I am striving for, constantly, throughout the day and even in my sleep.  There is nothing else in this life.  The world has nothing to offer.  It's all empty.  Whatever is "distracting" you for a season may seem like "something" but in the end, it's empty, void of life, a complete and total distraction from the Lord and frankly, used of the enemy to make you impotent for any usage in the Kingdom of Heaven while on this earth.  You work your entire life, you might save up some money for retirement, you retire and then you die.

I'm not opposed to working and I am not opposed to saving up for retirement, but in and of itself, it is an empty bowl, it has nothing in it that has anything of eternal consequence.  When I stand before the Lord, I am fairly sure He isn't going to ask me how much I saved up for my retirement or until what age I worked.  He may be interested in how much of my wealth I gave out in helping the needy and poor.  He probably will be interested if I actually followed after Him with my whole heart, soul, mind and strength.  Did I preach the Gospel and win souls to the Kingdom?  

I have completely wasted almost 8 years of my life and though I am not happy about it, I am not going to live in regret and pity about it, either.  It's simply time to move on.  To live out the book of Acts, if I have any spiritual goals, in my own personal walk with the Lord, that is what I am seeking.  Miracles and healing weren't just for the Apostles.  These are visual signs that God gives for the non-believers to see that God is real and that He is actually interested in each and every human being.  There is little to be had in a walk with the Lord that is void of his power and authority working through His people to show to the world that God IS Almighty, glorious, ever-lasting and able to do that which He says.  

It is interesting that many of the things that are happening in my life - seem to be happening all at once.  The 21 day fast?  I made a vow to the Lord some 25 plus years ago about a fast I had started, that I would go for 21 days.  I broke that vow as I only lasted - well a week I think it was - it was a total fast though, no food, just liquids.  Perhaps it's the timing of it to keep my vows and do what I told the Lord I was going to do so long ago.  It's a "thing" that has been sitting in the back of my mind all of these years.  I fully expect to make it through this fast.  

That's it, for now.

ben

Freeze Warning - It Is Done

The most dreaded time of year for a person who has a property full of plants and trees will occur in the next 106 hours.  That's the freeze warnings that are extended from tonight until mid Tuesday morning.  Low's in the mid 20's in outlying regions, low 30's where I live - though I am up at a higher elevation than downtown and at the base of a mountain, so I suspect cold temps can hit here more easily.

Of course, I covered plants in the bad freeze we had some 3 years ago - and definitely many of my plants still sustained damage, but they all came back.  I actually stood out there and prayed over the whole lot of them not 30 minutes ago and asked the Lord to protect them in whatever way that I obviously cannot.

There are many plants and trees that are not covered - I do not have that many covers even though I have been accumulating them for some time (4 large lawn and leaf bags full of them), but there many trees I cannot cover anyway.  Those are mostly the Sissoo trees and in that last deep freeze we had 3 years ago, they all "died" - they appeared dead anyway - but came back to life in the spring.  I also deep watered all plants 2 days in a row now, the experts say that is another way to help them through the cold.

I can only wait now and hope.

Meanwhile, I was Googling vegan diets.  LOTS of sites on that subject.  Lots of different takes on it, too.  A plant based diet only; a plant diet with eggs allowed; a plant diet with diary allowed and a plant diet with both eggs and diary allowed.  I haven't decided what to do, yet.  I haven't done a no-meat fast in ages and NEVER for 21 days.  The church-wide fast starts at sundown on Sunday.

But I do figure on lots of oatmeal; some amount of peanut butter; obviously lots of salads of varying kinds and even meatless spaghetti.  I can actually make that taste pretty good - at least for me - with lots of sauce with chunks of tomatoes in it.  Whether I allow myself to drink milk and have yogurt remains to be decided.  I like eggs, but I don't really thinks it's all that good to eat too many of them, so even if I do eat some eggs, it will be very limited.  I think "true vegans" don't like eggs because they come from an animal.  I love animals, I love eating them  : ) ...........especially cows; pigs and chickens.

It's Friday evening.  Oh what I wouldn't do to have a fireplace in this house.  I can get free wood as much as I need.  At work, ductile iron pipe is delivered on trucks with flatbed trailers and uses either pine or oak board.  Big, thick boards.  The oak boards burn for a long time, so the contractors who take them home or to the mountains to burn them tell me.  But I don't really want to put a large hole in my roof to have a vent for it, I would have to pay a contractor to do that, just not in the cards right now.

Eerily quiet evening.  Tenants are gone. My son is wherever. Mark is in the hospital, by now having had the surgery and now 2 weeks of recovery.  Lynnette undoubtedly over there with him.  A good time to get in the Word, seek the Lord and pray.

ben

What is the worst thing that can happen in the morning, getting out of bed and doing your daily rituals?
NO HOT WATER.
I about had 10 cows.
I haven't gone to work without having had taken a shower first - I don't even remember when the "last" time that occurred, probably never but I couldn't say that for sure.
The water got up to a temp I would call cool, not even warm but not as cold as the cold water is.
Then I remembered: Mark is going to the hospital for 2 weeks, probably drained out the water heater.
Or is there something wrong with it?  Well if there is, it isn't showing in the faucet I just checked: water heating up again.

Too late.  I just looked at the forecast: the high today is only going to be 50 degrees! Yikes!  That's my version of a cold winter's day!  I wish I had a fireplace!

Ummmm, so anyway.  I didn't get the blankets and sheets out yesterday, it was too late in the day and it was getting dark and anyway, after checking the forecast, it's tonight it's going to get cold, allegedly anyway, not last night.  I watered my plants nicely instead. They claim well watered plants will withstand cold better than no-so-well-watered-plants.

I dunno, but I may run strings of Christmas lights on some of the plants - Honeysuckles - to help create a bit more warmth when considering running them through the plants and then covering the plants with blankets/sheets.

This is pretty much a yearly affair, but temps that low are not really that common.

Well anyway, I am preparing myself for a Daniel fast.  Praying, reading the Word - and admittedly - eating a lot of meat just before it starts! LOL.  3 weeks without meat!  I have never done a Daniel fast that long.  I will have to prepare food in advance for work - you can't buy a salad without meat at any of the restaurant chains that I know of save Subway.  Oh.  Well maybe I will be eating at Subway for the next 3 weeks - preparing salads and such for work every day will get old in a fast hurry.

Okay, so that's en-queue - just sort of thinking about that one because it's soooooo long without any meat.  I remember it was Daniel that was in the King's service in training that didn't want meat and only wanted a vegetable diet and challenged his keeper to give him 10 days of vegetables only and see if, after those 10 days, he didn't look better than those that were in training that were on the "King's diet".  I would be interested in finding out what, exactly, they had them dining on.  But, a vegetable diet is a - vegetable diet.  Lol.

Well, Friday and..........of to work.

G'day.

ben

The dentist did not have any good news for me today.
He offered 3 plans: A, B and C.
A - 20 grand.
B - 8 grand.
C - unknown but less than A and B.
I can't do plan A in phases, it won't work that way (like doing one tooth at a time).
Plan B can't be done that way, either, it's an implant with 4 teeth attached to it.
Plan C is partials.

These plans do not include the 3 crowns that I need elsewhere in my mouth.

I'm just going to pray over it, that's all I can do.  I don't have the kind of money it would cost for A or B and probably not C, either, even with insurance.

So - put it on the prayer list.

TMI

Abbreviated for: Too Much Information
Mark is going in for surgery (one of my tenants) for the same thing he had to have surgery for a few years back.  It's a 2 week recovery in the hospital.  So I asked him about it yesterday and he went into full detail about the recovery, passing gas and other - subjects that don't particularly appeal to me at all, and if a person goes on about it long enough, starts to gross me out.

TOO MUCH INFORMATION, thank you.  We all know what happens when you sit down on a toilet and we all know that TMI about that particular function is - well it's completely unnecessary.

Anyway, Hump Day is here (and for those that don't know, it is nothing sexual, just the official middle of the work week).  It is also the day I find out just how much work I need done on my teeth.  I was already told 6 crowns, but that did not include the front teeth.  Dentist appointment at 4:00.

Meanwhile, my search for a much closer walk with the Lord continues.  When thoughts come in that are of this world, whatever they may be, I reject them.  I want my mind focused on the Lord at all times, however much possible that may be.  I have taken 2 steps (major steps, I should add) towards the purpose of rejecting the worldly life and all the pleasures and trappings it may have and am continuing on.  Our church is doing a 21 day Daniel type of fast starting next week and I am preparing myself to engage in it as well.

It is also time to buy a new Bible.  I am still peeved, honestly, about that car wash company taking my Bible and other belongings and simply discarding them (or doing whatever they did with them) in the trash.  It's been quite a while, I just read the Bible online at this point, but I find that a paper copy of the Bible, in-hand, is far superior than reading it on a screen on a computer.  There are pluses, though, to reading it online, one of which is you can have several different versions of the Bible appearing side by side all at the same time while reading whatever book/chapter/verse you are on.

You may not believe this, but if there is a time when I am about to open the Word and I simply don't really know what I am supposed to read, I have simply opened the thing at random and started reading whatever it came to and have found so very often it to be true that that particular book/chapter I end up in ends up being a living, spoken word from the mouth of the Lord to my inner man and spirit for that time.  It's happened so many times that I cannot and won't deny that at least some of that has other origins than mere happenstance.

You cannot do that with an online bible, lol.

So, probably get another New King James version, which is my favorite.

However, looking at the clock? It's time to leave for work!!

G'day.

ben

Faces From The Past

Seems to be a recurring theme going on lately, faces from the past that is.
A couple showed up at church this morning - people I hadn't seen in a long time, though I think I ran into them once at a Home Depot maybe a few or 3 years ago.  Their church had dissolved as of last week but they had been looking for a place for some time now.  I was shocked to see them sitting in some chairs after they had come in, one of those double-take moments.  I shouldn't have been so shocked, I guess, this church is about a mile away from their house - but to find the church takes a little bit of searching, not on the main surface streets.

I don't know what 2013 has in store for me, but I do know that I have been seeking the Lord in getting the past - in the past.  Let things go, forgive others, ask others to forgive me, others that don't want to speak that peace, at the very least, would be rested upon both parties if at all possible.  Not to mention changing some things in my personal life that - definitely need some serious adjustment. Already well into that.

Next week, our church starts a 21 day fast.  There are, of course, differing types of fasting, I believe most people will opt for a meatless diet.  If you happen to like meat, then going 21 days without it is different a form of fasting.  However, fasting for the sake of fasting is irrelevant. And certainly not the purpose the church has in mind. Seeking the Lord, with the whole heart, soul and mind.  Getting into the Word and finding what the Spirit is speaking to my heart, that will be my focus.  For direction, for help, for favor with individuals I need favor with, etc.  I haven't fasted in quite a while - well I went without food a few days this week but it wasn't an intentional forsaking of nutrition, I was sick and I simply did not want to eat anything.

Whatever the case, it's a Sunday afternoon, I have spent the weekend doing much of nothing attempting to get as fully recovered from this week's sickness episode as possible.  I did take one of the dogs for a walk at the park yesterday - I made it about a mile and ran out of energy and decided not to push it. That and church today besides some cleaning, that's been it.

I'm not really looking forward to a 5 day work week which is en-queue, to be honest, because I am not fully recovered yet and sometimes going 10 to 12 hour days for days in a road can bring a form of "relapse" in the recovery process, especially in my lungs.  So, I will simply stand in faith and believe God that I am healed and that the symptoms will not reappear.  As for church, a LARGE number of people were out with the same sickness.  The pastor shared that he had been to at least half a dozen homes yesterday praying for families that have gotten ill with this nastiness that is going around.

Umm, speaking of work, there isn't a paid holiday off until May, lol.  A yearly occurrence.  You want time off, you gotta just take floating holidays or vacation time.  I will not go 5 months without some days off, at the same time attempting to save my hours up for a 2 week extended period off this year, or possibly just take 3, 1 week vacations.  Up to 96 hours as of now.  This is the first year with my company that I will start accruing 10 hours of vacation time per month, up from the 6.6 hours you get for the first 6 years of employment with them and also move up to 140 hours of paid vacation, from the 100 I was getting.

Well, enough.  Time for a hot tea or coffee.

G'day.
ben