I'm finally up in the mountains with my recruit, who is going to help me install the stakes in the ground to put the fence up.  It was an interesting drive because after picking up my helper, I was far out east and ended up taking a different road to get to the main highway that gets us up here.  The road took us by a river and a lake plus the speed limit was only 45 mph for quite a ways.  I had not driven up that way in a couple of decades - at least and had forgotten how beautiful it was in that area.

It is where everyone goes to go tubing down the river.  I used to do that in a different life, lol, I'm not really into that kind of thing any more.  I do, however, still like river rafting, that's a whole different ball of wax but I haven't done that in a long time either.

Anyway, mother said there was fencing materials on the side of the outhouse. Yes, but none of it useful for this project save on stake.  I will need at least 14 more.  I am going to have to figure out the layout of where I want the fence to run and then I can determine how many posts I will need.  I'm kind of wary, though, about this whole thing because my mother is not up here now and I would hate to put this whole thing up and then have her not like the layout.  Gag.  No choice, I'm here, my helper is here and fully intend on taking full advantage of his presence here, which is solely for the use of helping me install these posts.

Whatever the case, the weather up here is absolutely beautiful.........but no rain.  Blaaaaaah.  It showed it was raining in this area earlier today on the weather radar, but that apparently has completely passed.  Still, it's a good 20 degrees cooler - at least and that's good enough in itself.

Well, it's almost 9 pm and yes, that's close enough to my weekend bedtime.  Still like to go to bed relatively early and get up - early - on weekends.  I only brought Duke with me this time, though, there wasn't enough room for 3 dogs in the car plus another person and all the rest of what I had to bring up with me.

Anyway, enough.

ben

4th of July

Happy 4th of July/Independence Day to all that celebrate it.

Upon looking at the fence posts necessary to install the wire fencing, I decided that I would have to purchase  them up in Payson.  I would not be able to load those things into the car along with everything else I take up with me, plus they will be hanging out the back of the trunk of the car.  I have no desire to haul fence posts that far with them hanging out like that.

So I asked a person at the Home Depot if they had a store in Payson.  She gave me a blank look.  I repeated: Do you have a store in Payson?  I had never seen one there, but that doesn't mean they don't have one.  Payson what?  She didn't even know Payson is a town in Arizona, in fact, she thought Payson was some sort of material that they sell.

Lol.  No worries, I said, it's a town up north in the mountains, I'll just look it up online when I get home.  Though, I thought, I would rather know now in case they don't have one up there, I will have to reassess whether I want to buy them down here and haul them up there. The woes of not having a pickup truck, is all I can say about that.

And yes, there is a Home Depot store in Payson, Arizona.  It is further up the road that takes me into Payson than I normally go, I end up turning onto the 260 going Northeast instead of heading north on the 87, hence the fact that I didn't know there was one off of the 87 further north.  Anyway, I can empty the trunk up at the property and then head back into Payson and get the stakes.  It's kind of a working weekend coming up, up there, not really a lazy affair.  But I need to get this done.  I won't be able to finish all of it, though, I still need to get a chain link gate to install and I don't want to pay store prices for one.  I would rather find one on Craigslist and take it up with me on another trip up there.

I'm not necessarily looking forward to this project, it's just something that needs to be done.   I have put it off long enough and I am going to have someone helping me with it, so I don't really have to endure all this by myself, lol.

As for today, no lazy day.  I was going to go to the pastor's house for their cookout but I have too much to do here.  Just no time for it.  I was at the last couple of them, not like I am dissing the social scene here.  But I have to say, your internal clock sure takes a beating when it think it's the weekend - today would be Saturday by it's accounting, and then find out you have to wake up early in the morning for another day of work.  And what a waste going to work tomorrow will be. Sure, we can pull the orders for Monday delivery, but that will only take a small amount of time. There are a lot of orders going to the same place, but they are small orders and all should fit in the back of the pickup truck.  Most contractors aren't working and if they do make orders, undoubtedly they will be going out on Monday, not a Friday delivery.

Oh well.  I would have taken the day off if I could have.  In such case, I would have gone up to the property today and had much more time to do most of this project, though if I get all the fence posts in, that is the brunt of it right there.  Putting up the fencing is relatively easy work compared to that and installing a gate hopefully not too terribly hard, either.

Been a while since I've heard anything from my son.  He has never been particularly good at calling parents when he has been up at that camp before, I didn't expect a big change this year, either, though it gives a taste of things to come.  When he's in Hawaii, is he ever going to call us?  Even for a 5 minute phone call?  I have always kept in contact with my parents because I have read continuously, over and over, of parents whose kids have basically "abandoned" them, rarely calling them, send a card at Christmas and oh well.

Long interlude.  Almost time for bed.  Will be a long day tomorrow what with work and then coming home and loading up the car and then going and getting the other person and then driving up north.  I hope to get off work early, but at least if I can get off by 2:00 pm that will work.  Shouldn't be a problem since there will be very little to do.

I am going to take one dog up there with me, I haven't decided which.  Well,  okay, I am not going to take the little one.  It's going to be one of the Danes.  I can't take both, I don't think, cause' the bed they usually lay on will be used by my helper going up there.  I don't have dogs sleeping on my bed with me - ever.  Well, not in decades anyway.  I have sleeping problems and dogs move around a lot at night.  That would just keep me up all night long.

Enough.

G'nite.

ben

Wednesday

Still paying for yesterday's gambit in the mine.  I went to bed with a terrible headache, at least that is gone but I still don't feel right.

Well, finish out today's work and then a day off tomorrow, back to work on Friday and then the weekend. It kinda messes with your sync to have a day off and then go right back to work and then off again.  Good chance that on Friday, there will be nothing to do as the contractors I have spoken with have stated they are having a 4 day weekend.  There is no point, IMO, in opening up a store that will have nothing in terms of customers, but our company does this a lot.

But at least there's plenty to do today and all that machinery is still on the truck - got back too late to take it downtown to have it removed.  We can't remove it at our yard, our forklift can't handle the weight and anyway, they deal with that stuff downtown.

Short one here. I was reading about the fallen firefighters, new info coming out and now a team of investigators headed to the scene to try and determine what happened and if there was anything they should have done differently.

G'day.

ben

The Ray Mine

I love these people that want to argue with me about humidity versus heat.  I hate high humidity, but that doesn't make high humidity the end-all when it comes to heat.

Today, for example. I down in a mine waiting to get the truck loaded up with machinery.  I was there for an hour and 15 minutes before they finally started loading the truck. Turn out mine inspectors from the State showed up out of the blue, no forewarning, and were conducting a review and on-site inspection.  When they show up, apparently, everything else is done.  They are going to do what they are going to do and no work will take place until they are done.

Hence, the sitting there in the truck for 75 minutes waiting for them to show up.  When they did show up, the  crew that is, the mine inspectors weren't far behind them.  It was blistering hot on the deck of my trailer.  The metal on the trailer was so hot that it burned my flesh after only a few seconds contact.  I was sweating so hard my sunglasses were covered with it and I could hardly see out of them. But, those are safety-glasses and in mines, you have to have glasses on at all times.  I was in the direct sunlight and it's MUCH hotter in direct sunlight than temperature readings that are taken in the shade.

I think that's what really doesn't compute with people. Temperature readings are taken in the shade, not direct sunlight.  Well, I work almost always in direct sunlight.  It's HOT, just plain hot.  Everything you touch is hot.  Kneeling down on the deck of trailer to pull the chains through the slots?  My legs burned even with pants on, heat went right through them and I found myself crouching instead.

I wanted to get it over with and though I was well hydrated before I got out of the truck to get all these machines tied down, I was definitely not in such state afterwards.  I pulled my hard hat off and an immense amount of fluid came pouring out of it.  Gross? Perhaps, but that was my body fluids accumulating in there that I didn't even know was going on.

The worst of it was those mine inspectors.  They were standing there watching me the entire time. They were talking with the crew's foreman and mine officials, yes, but they were just standing there, scrutinizing my every move.  I was watching my every move, everything done in complete regard to safety.  I didn't want them coming after me, please just leave me alone and fool with them, thank you.  This went on for well over an hour, them standing there discussing whatever but having me in full view.

I called the salesman on that account afterwards and told him what had been happening, he started laughing. "Dude, if you had done anything wrong, they would have jumped all over your @$$ and written you a ticket with a fine, ANYTHING at all".  Whatever.  People get injured and killed at mines, always have and undoubtedly it will continue on as long as there are mines - which I don't see any end of in any near future.  Hence the over-zealous safety regulations.  I get it, but I didn't really enjoy having them standing there watching my every move.

It's 4 hours later and I still have a massive heat headache.  Enough so that I am calling it quits MUCH earlier than normal tonight.  In fact, it's not even nighttime and I am thinking of heading to bed.

ben

Tuesday

Temps starting to come back down. Today's high will be 112 and then after today down below 110.  This is good news cause' those really hot days just wear on my AC, it basically runs all afternoon long and into the evening to keep it cool in here.

I am planning on heading up north this weekend.  Still getting warm during the day up there, but going down into the 60's at night, which is perfect.  I want to install that fence I have been thinking about doing for some time.

I am finding that I need not go up there "all the time".  Just when the feeling hits.  But my visits up there are throughout the year, my mom goes up for 3 weeks at a time during the summer and then comes back down for a week, but she will not venture up there during the winter.

I am not sure how much of the fencing project I will get done - it really needs to rain nicely up there so the ground will be a bit easier to drive those stakes in - but I am going to give it a good try, lol.

Well, off to the mountains today in the semi.  A nice little trip up to one of the mines to pick up a giant fusion machine and it's generator.  Our company rents them and when the customer is finished, they like us to get them back quickly.  Fix/repair any damage and have them ready for the next rental. They are quite expensive to rent.  However, to buy one?  A new one lists at just under 500k, which doesn't include the generator to power it.

Anyway, off to work.

ben

I headed into my son's room today and got out his guitar that his grandpa gave him a couple of years ago.  It hasn't even been used.  It's a brand new guitar with the tags still hanging off of it.  I haven't played since i was a teenager and I wanted to see if I could remember the chords.  I could only remember g and c, I had to look up the rest of the basic chords, which do not include the minors and pluses.

I was actually quite pleased with myself at how fast I picked chords back up.

I just got back from being outside - standing there just watering plants. I began sweating profusely about 5 minutes after being out there.  It is darn hot and no-one is going to tell me anything different (though a couple have tried telling me wherever they are is much hotter, yeah if you're in the Sahara!).  There are certain plants out there that cannot handle this kind of heat without having daily waterings and that's what I was doing.

I was also attempting to catch my 12 inch white and black butterfly Koi in the in-ground pond.  He is too big for that pond and would be much happier in the horse trough pond, but I couldn't catch him!  There are too many hiding places where the net simply won't go.  I will keep trying, though, until I catch him.

Eddie - neighborhood teenager that walks my dogs - just stopped by.  Nope.  No dog walking today.  I am not having Great Danes out there in 120 heat.  Their paws will get too hot and they will get overheated quickly.  Recipe for death/disaster.  The proof was in the pudding: usually when he comes in they get all excited and start tromping about. Today? All 3 of them just laid there, staring at him.  They aren't quite THAT stupid!!  They were outside earlier and didn't want anything to do with it.  It's hot and large dogs simply can't deal with it.


Long interlude.  My ex FB'd me and said $450 more had come in for Caleb for his stint in Hawaii.  I think it's about halfway to the needed amount now with a couple months or so left to go, though I have no idea when they actually have to have that money in by.

And then a friend I have known since I was a teenager calls and tells me her 17 year old son is fighting and arguing with her (single mom) and can I help her deal with him?  ???  How, exactly, am I supposed to deal with someone else's kid?, I am thinking, but she starts to explain that there are no men in his life and she wants that kind of influence.  I've got to pray about that and get some guidance I think.

Speaking of prayer, prayer meeting last night was awesome!

Well whatever, I'm done with this one, it's getting late (my version of it anyway) and I need to get some sleep.

ben

It was hot out there today. No, it wasn't the 117 to 120 they are predicting tomorrow, but 112 degrees is plenty hot, thank you very much.  But as much as I disdain the heat and I despise living here in the summer, I have adapted very quickly this year to the intense heat and though I might throw some complaints out about it, I am taking it very well considering.

There is no doubt, though, that my mind is fairly well made up that retiring here? If I live that long? Not a happening event.  Charleston, South Carolina sounds good. So do a couple of places in Oregon.  My internet friend Fin seems to think Mississippi is the bomb.  I read about other's lives where they live and how they are liking it there.  I think about moving out of this state alot.  My company has stores all over the United States.  One only need find a place one wants to live and then put in for any available positions, or just wait until one becomes available.

Meanwhile, my dad.  Dear old dad. I love him dearly, but the life he is living is hell on earth.  His wife throws him out, brings him back, throws him out.  I decided to stay away from that email address for a couple of weeks because I am having a hard time dealing with that.  I went today and found a lot of emails going on between him and my uncles. One of them from my uncle Bill - who is dealing with ALS or MS, don't remember which, regardless horrifying, unbelievable diseases - who wrote him an email and then named me - and asked for my thoughts?  I have been pretty forthright with my dad about this ever since I started reading all this stuff and seeing how often this woman throws him out, it's ridiculous.  How can a woman want a man around at all after throwing him out so many times? How can a man want to be with a woman that obviously doesn't want him around?

Friday's a coming.  Yes, I don't want to dwell on the former subject too long, so changing it.  The projected highs are 117 to 120.  Now they have upped Saturday's high temps to 120 as well.  Whatever.  It means I have to be very diligent about watering my plants.  The entire property watered today after I got off work.  All of it. They are all heat tolerant, but if they don't have enough water, well you can figure out the rest.  It doesn't take long in this heat for the ground to dry up and the plants to go along with them, especially the "non-desert" plants that need more water.  I remember when installing my sprinkler system - I had no clue.  Now I do.  If I had it to do all over again, well, it would certainly be a completely different setup.  The plants and trees that need a lot of water - would all be on one line.  It would include plants in the front, sides and rear of property.  A lot more main line but over time, would be WELL worth the expense.

The plants and trees that are desert originated - different main line which would have to run along side the line for the plants that need a lot of water.  I have a mix all over my property. And then a 3rd line for the plants/trees in between the first 2 variables.

The weekend.  Thoughts of going up north.  I dunno. I pretty much make that decision on Fridays after I get off work. Do I feel like driving up there?  It's 20 degrees cooler up there in daytime, MUCH cooler at night. Still have to run AC, though, when it's this hot.  Oh my, it's going to be 103 up there tomorrow! Not so surprising, though, in light of the 120 or so it's going to be here.  But, my RV has a good AC unit on it and blows out ice cold air.

Otherwise, stay home, stay inside and do nothing.  I would entertain a trip to Big Surf, but my son is gone and going alone wouldn't be as much fun.

Almost time for bed.

ben

I walked into the house and heard very loud arguing going on.
Not accustomed to hearing such in my house.
Don't like it, either and I won't put up with it for very long.
I have had other couples getting into heated arguments in here in the past and at a certain point?
I went banging on the door.  "Whatever you are fighting about, I DON'T WANT TO BE SUBJECTED TO IT, take it outside or find another place to live".  

I am not going to have that kind of s*** going on in my house on an on-going basis.  Life has FAR to much crap to offer to have to listen to that kind garbage going on in your own home.  I am NOT married anymore and I refuse to be subjected to it.

So it is. I haven't addressed it - yet.  This is the first day I have heard it.  If this is a one-time, knock-down, drag-it-out deal, then fine.  Get it out of the system.

Whatever.  I was sent home early today after getting back to the yard around 1:15.  I have overtime and the company isn't liking it.  I can understand why, our numbers are WAY down but there is nothing I can do about a situation when I am out on the road doing deliveries and pickups.  It only took half an hour off the 4 hour and a half hours I had already accumulated this week and 2 more days to get rid of the rest of it if it slows down again.

I want the OT, but if I can't have it, I can't have it.  If they do another situation where hours are reduced to 7 per day, I don't think I will deal with that again. I went for over 3 years doing that and now that I have been out of it for a year or so, I don't want to revert back to it.  At the same time, looking for a job, even if  I am a "qualified" driver - totally sucks.  Put in applications all over the place and look at the offers.  If I have to go looking for another job, it's going to be about the money, not about the hours.  It would be very hard, though, to walk away from a place where I now have upgraded vacation hours.

Well I just hope it doesn't go there.  I can deal with 8 hours a day only and no OT, I don't like it but I can deal with it, but anything less makes it awfully hard to make ends meet.  The kicker for me is that during all that time, management didn't take any pay reductions.  It's hard to sympathize when someone is doling it out but isn't taking it up the ying-yang like everyone else.

Just another thing I don't need to deal with.  No official word of headcount reduction, but if the monthly sales volume continues the way it is, it is inevitable that it will occur and it will happen out of the blue with no forewarning and no-one will have any idea who is going and who is staying.

Meanwhile, the forecast high for Friday is anywhere from 117 to 120, depending on whose forecast your read/listen to/watch.  And as normal, people say it's a "dry heat".  So is an oven but you don't deny it's ability to cook roasts and whatever else to well done.

I have nothing left to say, well I do but not worth going into.

ben

As predicted - and hoped for - Monday was busy all day long.
It was also unsettling to see ADOT Enforcement vehicles, sheriffs and Highway Patrol stopping trucks all over the place.  They just can't leave us alone.  Pick on trucks but let car drivers doodle on down the road while paying more attention to their smart phones than the road in front of them.  ADOT takes pleasure in finding a driver that they can disqualify or a truck they can put out of service.  Whatever.  I have little respect for those that have no respect for me and my encounters with ADOT have not been pleasant ones with these little "dictators" running around acting like mini-gods and expecting you to bow and worship them whenever you have the extreme misfortune of being pulled over by one of them.

I got lucky as they were all busy with other drivers.

As for today, it also looks busy.  I hope it's a trend that continues for a while, lol. Days just whisk by and seem like nothing whenever I am busy at work and there is more to do than time to get it all done.

I have an appointment with the pastor for Thursday.  I could have done it today, but for whatever reason, I knew I wouldn't feel like doing that today so I opted for a Thursday meet instead.

Another Monday here.
No short work week, either, just another long, drawn out week.
Well, not today though.  There are $65,000 worth of orders in the system.
Because Friday was inventory day, we couldn't pull those orders so unless they did it this weekend, I will have my hands full this morning.

A good thing.  It will take hours to pull the order, even more time to wrap it and load it and then it's a bit of drive out east to deliver it.  Should take up most if not all of the morning.  This is the way to start a work week, not like last week where there was absolutely nothing to do and I sat around inventing things to do all day long so I wouldn't fall asleep in complete, utter boredom.

I wrote my pastor an email yesterday about the situation with the lady that showed up at church, I did ask if he has a few moments this week if we could meet somewhere.  But he was busy at the hospital.  A baby we have been praying for for a long, long time now is finally getting a new heart (yes, literally a heart transplant) and that is, obviously, far more important.  In fact, it was incredibly good news to hear during the service yesterday that a surgeon had flown out somewhere to see the heart and see if it would be  good match and yes, DURING the service the pastor received a text message saying it is!!

But still, he said he will find time later this week which is cool with me.

Life goes on and "things" continue to occur in my life and in those around me.  I am still a bit in shock with my friend's planned divorce proceedings.  I have known her since the ministry days.  She's a good lady, but I know all too well the issues that go on in marriage and a willingness from both sides to work things out is totally necessary to avoid - eventual divorce.  I guess the hard part to swallow about all of this is the large amount of children they have had and the fact that several of them are still very young, well under 10 years old.  That isn't exactly a recipe for a balanced life when considering growing up without the parental "units" being there, together.

Whatever.  I can't do anything about that except pray, and pray I will!

Time to be off to work.

G'day.

ben

An amazing day

I walked into the sanctuary/auditorium/whatever-you-want-to-call-it at church today, going to my normal place to sit.  I don't move around from Sunday to Sunday, I have a "preferred" row where I sit and that's that, whether anyone else sits around me or not.

On my way there, I look around a pillar to see a woman from the past, that I hadn't seen since the church whose pastor shunned me.  I was shocked, jaw-dropped  while she expressed loudly: Well if it isn't BEN B******!!!!

In a nano-second, emotions of hate, anger and contempt came into my whole being.  I was loathing this woman with every fiber of my being, my innards were crying out that I hated her and I couldn't stop it. THIS was the woman that had handed me a "word from the Lord", so long ago, that just short of told me I was going to hell because I was getting divorced.  The letter was rancid, flesh-originated and full of condemnation and judgement.  I will NEVER forget it because it was so hateful and also - because this woman, at THAT time, was on her FIFTH marriage!! Condemning me for getting divorced  when she had done it 4 times already?

I was loath to sit there for the rest of the service.  Leaders in the church came up to me on 2 occasions before the service began and asked me how I was doing. I told them but they could not, for whatever reason, find it within themselves to pray for me.  I wanted prayer for ME, not her, my reaction to her being there was so incredibly outlandish - though I didn't express or speak it in any way - I could not believe what was suddenly going on inside of me.  It was incredibly BAD.

I forced myself to sit through the entire service. People were staring at me.  I know I had a bad look on my face, I didn't intend to but I couldn't stop it.  The emotion coursing through me was raw and unrefined.  I had NO idea I had been harboring this much hate against this person until I saw her, up close and personal.  I kept looking over across the other side of the church, glaring at her and wishing she would just disappear.  I know that's bad for a Christian, but what is the point of being dishonest and attempting to be someone you aren't?

I also came to the realization that - my belief - God had brought her there if for no other purpose, for me to realize the bitterness and hatred I was harboring against her and force me to deal with it.  But you don't just get filled up with hate and anger towards a person you haven't seen in 8 or 9 years and have, unknowingly I might add, been harboring it against that person that whole time and then suddenly, 2 minutes later, just say yeah, I forgive her. You might be saying the words with your MOUTH, you will NOT be saying those words in your HEART where it REALLY counts.

At the end of the service, the pastor asked everyone to take other's hands and say some words after him and then - fill in the blank. Well, the only person sitting in my row was a very godly woman that has been part of that church plant from the beginning. We took hands and she started telling me some things.  I then told her what was going on and she began ministering to me some truth that - I REALLY needed to hear.  It was solid, gold, foundation stuff.  Meat-of-the-Word type of stuff. We talked for half an hour or so and then I finally left.

I then got home and posted a note on my Facebook wall.  It was about someone that once told me that I shouldn't wear my emotions on my sleeve. Yeah, and says who? American mindset that leads to nothing good. Let it build up inside of you until you HAVE to let it out SOME way and usually not in a GOOD way.  You see, I told a couple of people at church - in leadership - what was going on and they couldn't help me.  Or wouldn't help me.  You aren't supposed to expose yourself, right?  BUNK.  If the body of Christ can no more deal with it's own people's problems, how is it going to deal with the world's?  \

Well, there was a totally unintended consequence to that posting on my FB wall.  FB chat messages.  People who started exposing things that were going on in their lives.  2 of them, not a huge lot of them but these 2 were exposing themselves and issues that they had not spoken about to anyone else.  Including a dear, sweet lady friend of mind who lives in Texas who has filed for divorce. No-one else knows about this, not even her own family or her kids.  I spent an hour talking with her about it, it was soooo intense.  She is going through hell, she has 9 kids. Yes, that's NINE kids, ranging from a 20 year old in the Navy to toddlers.

I discussed with her about a problem child.  She didn't tell me this, I heard it from the Lord.  I pushed it until she finally gave in, yes, a teenager with serious issues and in trouble. The marriage and what was going on with it.  A LOT of stuff.  She confided in me so I am not going to betray her trust, but wow.   The other person facing a MS diagnosis.  Double wow.  I wondered if what I had gone through today was a bit selfish in light of their predicaments, but I came to the conclusion: no.  What I went through during that time of divorce and the issues with the church was pure and total HELL.  NO-ONE is going to tell me otherwise.  But that does not mean I have or even want to walk around carrying that load forever.  I had thought I was over all of it, I found out I am not and that's OKAY, and just as much, it is OKAY for me to have the feelings I had today and live through them as long as I end up DEALING with it - quickly I would like to add - and not fester on it.

Yes!! Christians can have those feelings, but you just don't live IN those feelings forever!  I am a child of God but I am still in this "tent of flesh"!  It doesn't like these kinds of things and it wants to lash out. But I did NOT lash out at that woman today and I have no intention of doing so.  I DO intend on approaching her at some point and having a conversation about this situation - if she intends on making the church I am going to her church as well.  But again, my heart has to be in the 'forgiving' stage, not the 'gee, why don't you get your ass the hell out of here because you are a piece of s***' stage.

Well, anyway. I talked with and more importantly, listened to those 2 (well, read their words on Facebook) for over 2 hours today.  I poured my heart out to them in ministering to them what I thought the Lord had to say to them regardless of what I had just gone through.  To be honest, after having such intense emotions of hate and anger against a person today, I didn't really feel very much in the position to be ministering to others, but they were hurting people and I couldn't just brush them off, so I didn't.

I'm drained.  For a Sunday? Intense.  I'm going to sleep.

G'nite.

ben

I'm sitting at my computer desk in my kitchen. Well, you can call it next to the kitchen but part of the kitchen?  Whatever.  I hear the click of the rear door - meaning someone is coming in.  It's the only entrance we use in and out of the house - excepting I use the east door to get to the east side of the property to enjoy my ponds and such.

There is also a sliding glass door right next to where my desk is, but I banished the use of that a long time ago.

I mostly ignore people coming in and out of that door, it's about 30 feet behind me, if I'm on the net or doing something on the computer, I rarely even look up until the person gets into the kitchen itself.  Well when no-one came into the kitchen, I started to turn my head to look up and at the same time, Duke and Prince started growling.

Those dogs never growl at anyone coming through that back door. The door clicked again, also at the same time I was turning my head and by the time I got my eyes on the back door, I caught a fleeting glimpse of someone in a t-shirt - they took off.  Duke was already up and running towards the back door, I was much more motivated and had to move him out of my way.  By the time I got out the back door, no-one in sight.  I was out there too fast for anyone to have run all they to the front gate, so I started looking over fences.

Nothing.

This was broad daylight and someone had the gall to open my back door and apparently come into my house with me sitting there.  I decided to get my friend - SW40VE - and keep her at bit closer.  Scared? No. Worried? A bit. What was that person doing? What was their intent? Were they armed? Were they burglars/thieves?

This happened about an hour ago.

I am too tired to fool with it further.  I'm going to sleep.  Someone wants to mess with me in my bedroom, they are not going to like the outcome is all I can say.

ben

Ma Bell Has Been Disconnected/Goodbye (read: GOOD RIDDANCE) to Centurylink

After..decades..a lifetime..of business with what was originally Bell Telephone company and then going through several of it's offshoots, I have finally severed my ties with a company that at one time was above reproach, had the best customer service around and was a pleasure to deal with.

It isn't so anymore and after 6 phone calls, having one person hang up on me and several others put me on hold, I am done with it - Centurylink.  I am not going to go into the details of today's phone calls excepting to say that I was interrupted countless times; talked over the top of numerous times and basically treated like a piece of dog dung.

Is Cox going to be any better?  Well right off the bat, I am paying the same as I was with Centurylink but I have 32 average mbps compared to around 5.3 mbps with Centurylink.  Thanks for playing.  That alone is enough.  I am sure Cox Communications incoming call centers are probably no better than anyone else's, but Centurylink's management  is atrocious.  Beyond the incoming call center, up to the executive offices, it is the most abhorrent company around.  They are, absolutely, worse than Direct TV.  I can't stress enough to you the fact that Direct TV's customer service is absolutely abysmal, but usually, when you talk to upper level management, you are treated much better and you are usually happy with the results.

Centurylink?  The treatment of their customers is the same: bottom-of-the-barrel, whether talking to the first person or talking to whoever, wherever, with whatever title.  I can only give kudos to the field tech supervisor, he was top-notch and he did the best with what he had available to work with. What he had to work with is underground wiring that has needed upgrading for quite a long time now.

Enough.  I did not know that Independence Day falls on a Thursday this year.  Gag.  I can't even tell you how it is to go get a day off in the middle of a work week and then have to go to work the next day after that holiday.  I should have checked.  Take the day off.  But, it's too late and I will just eat that one,.

I stopped at a QT today for my version of an energy drink. I don't do RedBull and the like, I have NEVER had any of them, save one I think once and I did not like the feeling it gave me.  QT has fruit smoothies and has various additives you can put in them, one of which is an energy addition.  I do it occasionally, it also has yogurt in it.  I was going through the entrance door and noticed a man walking up to the trash can.  I stopped and watched him remove the lid off the can, rummage around and pull out a QT beverage cup that still had something in it.  He put the straw that was still in the cup's lid up to his mouth and took a deep draw off of it.

He then went inside the store, refilled the thing and walked out.  I said nothing, just watched while ordering my smoothie.  I would have bought him something to eat, but he walked away, not asking anyone for anything.

I'll tell you something that gets me, completely changing the subject, really - well burns and fumes would be words I would use but since I am referring to campfires, well anyway.

The Tonto Forest has a complete ban on campfires. Well, on all kinds of things:

The following are prohibited: 

1.      1.      Building, maintaining, attending or using a fire, campfire, charcoal, coal, or wood stove, anywhere on the forest, including fires in developed campgrounds.

2.      2.      Smoking, except within an enclosed vehicle or building.

3.      3.      Discharging or using any kind of firework or other pyrotechnic device.

4.      4.      Discharging a firearm, except while engaged in a lawful hunt.

5.      5.      Using an explosive.  An explosive is defined as any chemical compound, mixture, or device, the primary or common purpose of which is to function by explosion.

6.      6.      Operating a chainsaw, or other equipment powered by an internal combustion engine. 

7.      7.      Welding or operating acetylene or other torch with an open flame.

  I remember the days when there were no bans.  People didn't fires unattended and in several cases, end up burning down hundreds of thousands of acres of forest.  We cared and we knew what we were doing.  We put our fires out and that was that.  It didn't matter if the forest was bone dry, as long as we had an effective fire pit and we were monitoring it, there was never a problem.

Those days are long gone. I understand the Forest Service need to to ban all of that, they tried everything else for years and years and it didn't work, some people simply don't care.  The forest and it's magnificent beauty if meaningless to them. It's just another place to go get drunk.  Or get into the cool weather.  Whatever.  It just sucks that even on private property up there, if you have an open fire in a very well-built pit, the forest rangers will come along and make you put them out and yes, issue citations.

Oh well.  Hopefully the "Monsoon Season" will bring some rain up north and the severe restrictions will be lifted, even if only temporarily.  When we get enough rain and the forest is wet, then and only then will they lift the bans.  But summertime in Arizona, it's pretty much automatic: get int June and that's it. Too many morons out there.

Done. Another work week drags on. Very little to do. I did spend half of today running doing returns and pickups, but the only delivery I made was in the pickup and it was worth less than $400.  

Time to head to the bedroom and get ready for early sleep.  I didn't sleep well last night and if there is a repeat, I figure to go to bed early enough so that when/if I wake up in the middle of the night, I will already have a handful of hours of sleep accomplished.

ben

I waited all day long to hear from my son.

Selfish? I dunno, I'm his dad, I want to hear from him on Father's day.  If that's selfish, then I confess.  Actually, I just want to hear from him, regardless of the excuse to get him to call.

But I didn't give up hope.  When he is up at that camp, if I do get a call from him, it is usually on Sundays and usually late afternoon.

So, when the phone rang, I gave it 99% chance it was him - I do not talk on the phone much and mostly only get calls at work from salesmen and such.  I don't much care to talk on the phone with anyone but friends/people I like or people with opposing views that can actually engage in a civil conversation, live, without getting into name-calling and such.

It was my son! Yes.  Very nice conversation, not about me, either, I was asking him all about what's going on up there and he was convenient to tell me such. They take an entire week to prepare for the campers arrival.  That starts tomorrow.  I don't remember the age groups, they range throughout the summer from something like 7 to 17.

And so it was.  I am so proud of my son.  I could care less if he becomes "successful" in the worldly meaning of it if it means that his life is spent serving the Lord.  But God isn't broke, lol.  Eternity is forever and that has more meaning in THIS life than whatever else happens in this life.  I'm preaching to myself, to be honest.  Why do I care so much about a retirement account and having money in the end?  I ask myself that question and the only answer I can come up with is that I don't want to be broke in my old age.

Not really a bad answer, really, but not sufficient in and of itself, alone.  There is more and I am hungry for it.  God has the destiny for our lives, each one of us and that is what I am seeking after.  The message at church today was incredible.  It was a love message unlike anything I have ever heard and it was completely backed up by Scripture, which, really, was what moved me so.

Speaking of my son, I moved Sebastion - that's the name he gave the old Buick - from the other side of the street to in front of my house today.  I will start the car and run it for a while once a week.  Should be sufficient to ensure it isn't going to get old and die on me.  It's a 1994 Buick LeSabre, old but fired right up and idled without any hesitation.  Ever since I had that car towed into an old-style electrical shop and had that guy figure out what's wrong with it, I have had NO problems with it whatsoever.

The sad part?  I think that he figured out was wrong with it was the problem with it all along.  I spent a lot of money getting that thing "figured out" at 3 different places.  Well whatever.  I intend on keeping it as long as my son says he wants it.  Unless I get something else for me, a truck preferably, then I will get rid of that car and keep the Buick I am currently driving for him.  Just like his bedroom.  It will stay empty for whenever he may want to come home for a visit.  Well, it's not empty, it has everything in it the way he left it.  A keyboard on a stand, a large TV and other things.

Whatever. It made my day to hear from my son. That's all I really need to say.

ben

Finally Friday.
This is the longest, most drawn-out work week I have endured in quite a long time.  Only one day  have I been "minimally" busy.  The rest of it has been inventing things to do at the shop to keep busy.  Even if it were acceptable to sit around doing nothing, I just couldn't do that.  I would go insane attempting to not just fall asleep.  I have to keep busy at work with something to keep me engaged and moving around.

I have no plans for this weekend, either.  I am not going up north, I am not going to do much of anything.  At least that's what I'm thinking right now, lol.  The house is almost empty.  My son is gone, George is gone for the weekend and the tenant that is never here? Isn't here!  Mark and Lynnette the only ones around.

Abysmal paycheck.  That's what I call it. It's a paycheck without any OT on it at all. Down more then $300 from what my checks were before this retraction in work started.  A loss of $600 per month? That will be hard to swallow.  Especially during summer months when my electric bill more than doubles what it is during winter months.  I hardly have to use heat during the winter so the only electric expense is just TV's, computers, refrigerators and such.

I can only hope that business will pick back up and I will get at least some OT.

That's it.  Off to work. There is enough work in the system to keep me busy for about 3 hours and then?  Gag.

G'day.

ben

The "Red Line" has been crossed.  Now waiting to see what, exactly, Obama is going to do about it.  This concerning Syria, Assad's use of chemical weapons against his own people and more pointedly, Sarin - probably the gas version of it.

I don't like to give Obama too much time of my day, so I won't delve into that any further.  Mr. Big Government The Bigger The Better And You Don't Know What's Good For You So We Are Going To Take That Right Away From You And Tell You Instead - President - will eventually go down in history as one of the worst Presidents this nation has EVER had to endure.


I was very disheartened and very sad to see an event take place before my eyes this morning.  The property next door is being leveled.  It used to be a restaurant.  Behind and to the other side of the property is an apartment complex.  The complex has a lot of pine trees planted in rows, beautiful, anywhere from 20 to 40 feet tall.

In about 2 hours time, an excavator/trackhoe took out about 20 of these magnificent, very-healthy trees and dumped them in a huge pile.  There was an 8 foot tall block fence in front of those trees.  I had no idea that not only was the block fence going to go, all of those beautiful trees were going to be destroyed as well.  The apartment complex bought the unused restaurant property and the adjacent property and are going to add 62 more units to their already huge complex.

If I had known that all of those trees were going to be taken out, I would asked if I could have one of them - have it professionally removed and replanted at my house.  There were literally tens of thousands of dollars worth of trees just torn down and reduced to a pile of rubble this morning.  I am a tree love, but not a tree "hugger".  Trees and their lumber and by-products serve so many useful purposes, I have NO problem whatsoever with lumber companies cutting them down and selling the products they make out of them.

But to just trash that many trees?  Were there no landscaping companies or nurseries that were willing to come and take all or some of them out? I wonder if any such were ever contacted.

But after seeing probably 50 to 60k worth of block fence destroyed, I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

I dunno, but tomorrow is Friday and I can say without hesitation, this has been one of the longest, drawn-out, extended, unbelievlably - did I say long yet? - LONG weeks I have endured in quite a while.  Very few deliveries.  We are running at around 100k worth of sales and we are almost at the middle of the month.  NOT good. But it's not just our store, the decline is region-wide.

Funny thing? The company continues to hire people.  Meanwhile, I was offered a job today at one of the municipalities I deliver to, lol.  I was thinking: Pensions.  Yeah, no pensions there, several other municipalities have pensions in these parts, but not this particular one and I seriously doubt they are going to start me out anywhere NEAR the money I am making now.  But it's always good to have some kind of options available in case you get confronted by Mr. (or is it Mrs.?) Pink Slip.

I wonder if they even have such things anymore.

Meanwhile, George came walking through here with 2 suitcases a few hours ago and declared he would "see you Sunday", meaning he is going to spend the weekend with his girlfriend.  I haven't seen the new tenant in several weeks.  But that is the nature of his job.  He is currently in New Mexico.  My son's bedroom is empty, sniff-sniff.  The only ones left are Mark and Lynnette.  Mark is a very unhappy camper with his bike situation, but I don't want to go into all of that right now.

It is strange to go out every morning now and see my old, blue Buick sitting there on the street.  The first thing I think is Caleb is sleeping and the next reality that hits is, no, I took Caleb up to the mountains last weekend.  He is living life and he is enjoying it.  I am happy for him, but that doesn't mean I can't miss him.  The final weeks he is here after getting back from up there and leaving for Hawaii? I'm going to make the most of them, as time permits for him.  I love my son dearly.

Enough.

Time to start preparing for bedtime.

ben

Centurylink didn't bother to even call me about the tech coming over until around 3:00 pm and was informed that they wouldn't be here for another hour.  No worries, I replied, I am no longer interested, I have Cox Cable over here installing new internet service now, you need not come.

The "real" Cox tech had the thing done in about 20 minutes and he was gone. Speed tests are showing that I am getting around 30mbps - though the package I asked for is 15-20.  This compared to the 5mpbs Centurylink was giving me and telling me they couldn't do any better.  

Well, hopefully, I am done with all of this nonsense.  Making endless calls to Centurylink, getting sent over to Philippine incoming call lines, having to ask for Americans, then still having to go through a ridiculous process to actually speak to someone.

I have no intention, whatsoever, of paying the outstanding balance on the bill and intend on calling them to let them know that they can take that bill and remove it.  For as many times as the service has gone down completely, for as much time as I have had to sit around and wait for techs to show up - they give you a 4 hour window that they can show up in - and for as much as the internet speed has dropped as low as 2.5 mbps, yeah, I have no intention of paying the 60 some dollars that is outstanding.

Half way through the work week.  When I left yesterday?  There was nothing in the system for deliveries today.  Nothing.  Unbelievable.  Yesterday at least I had enough work to keep me busy until 2:00 pm and then go home after 8 hours.  It might have changed since last night - contractors often call in the afternoon after they get home and place orders for the next day - but I won't be holding my breath.  Meaning another long, drawn out day attempting to invent things to do.

It isn't the most favorable conditions to come back to work to after 9 days off, is all I can say, in having nothing or very little to do.  Plus it's hot outside - though for whatever reason, I haven't had that much difficult adjusting to it this year.  I usually need weeks to get to the tolerate-it point, not this year.

Nothing else new around here.

G'day.

ben

Cox Cable

So, this subcontractor from Cox Cable (remember what happened with a subcontractor with that company last week!) shows up and tells me he is going to start with the box out front and then work his way back.  He is at the wrong box.  I pointed at the other one on the other side of my property and said that's the one over there.  "I'll find it myself, thanks".  Attitude.

I just decided to go back inside the house and let him figure it out on his own.  He comes in the house eventually and asks where a cable outlet is.  Right there, I replied.  No, sir, this is a phone outlet.  Yup, I said, that's where my current internet line is, I want that one yanked out from the bottom and then feed a new one up through there, I don't need the phone line anymore and don't want it.

I had to inform this guy fully 4 times, saying the same thing over and over about where the interface was installed and how I want a line under the house.  It became clear that he did not want to climb under the house.  I said fine, I will just call Cox and they will send out someone that will. NO, I'm HERE, and went storming out of the house.  I thought, this isn't going to turn out well, is it? to myself.  About 10 minutes later, I hear this crashing noise inside of Mark's bedroom.  I mean, really loud.

Mark comes out and says the guy had pulled the cable for his Direct TV box through the hole, cause the box to crash off the TV and everything that was up there to fall onto the floor.  WHAT, I wondered, was this guy doing?  Why is he pulling out a cable for the satellite?  The guy came back in a while later and I kept my mouth shut. I want the cable installed, just get it done and if there is damage I will contact Cox. But this guy's tudes wouldn't quit.

Then, he went back out and disconnected George's Cox line.  He couldn't get any work done until this guy rehooked it, though the tech never stated he was going to disconnect the other line.  Whatever.  I go outside and start watering plants, ignoring this man and just trying to keep my cool.  I am standing on the side of my house and suddenly hear this loud crashing noise, like something had been smashed into the side of my house.  I didn't even go over there, I figured whatever was going on, it was with this tech with the tude and let's just get this over with.

Well, the tech comes walking around the corner with Mark following behind him.  Mark bluntly states that guy has an attitude problem and then informed me that this tech had taken the hatch that covers the access to get under my house and smashed it up against the side of house.  That's all I needed to hear at that point.  I got up and walked over to see if any damage was done while this guy is stating that the thing had fallen on his head. Well why didn't you just remove the damned thing?  You can't.   It weights maybe 20 pounds at the most, I picked it up with one hand and put it on the ground, but it was too late.  We got into it.  No freaking tech from some cable company is going to come onto my property with an attitude simply because he doesn't want to do the work - climbing under the house - and then start destroying my property.

The ensuing altercation became so heated that I told him to get off of my property.  Get your stuff, get off of my property, right now.  This tech went into a string of colorful adjectives including calling my house some choice words - which is when I informed the man that if he doesn't get OFF of my property NOW, I am going to call Cox cable.  Which I was going to do anyway, but I was going to get my cellphone out and let them hear what this guy was doing.  Instead, he became even more agitated which is when I just informed him if he didn't leave, I was calling the police.

I followed this guy all the way off the property, giving him some choice words of my own after enduring his outbursts.

I then called Cox and got a hold of management and told them the entire story of what had just happened.

I don't have time to go into the rest of it, but hopefully needless to say, they weren't happy about what they were hearing.  Another appointment for a Cox employee to come out and finish the job is for later on this afternoon.  I don't EVER want a Cox subcontractor to step a foot on my property again.  I have half a mind to cancel the appointment and let them come out here and just take their router -which the "tech" left behind and just stick with Century Link, even though that service totally sucks and the highest speed rate I am now getting is somewhere around 5.5 mbps.

Time to be off to work.

G'day.

ben

Off to the races.  Amazingly, the hint of the sun's light already showing up at 4:30 am, when I got up for work.  Weather forecast to get up to 109 today.  This is one day - coming back from work after 9 off - that I hope and dream of just an 8 hour day, get it over with, get off work and get home.

History, however, usually has a much crueler version of coming back to work after extended time off.  But I don't really care that much, working is a part of life, at least my life and there isn't much I can do about it at this point in time.  As long as the AC works in that truck and hopefully there are runs to do - not sitting around the shop all day attempting to invent things to do.  That was where I left off now that I think about it - work slow down and not looking up too much.

And, the hint of "head-count reductions" as my company likes to call it.  Probably most companies call it something like that, a bit of a distanced way of saying you are getting rid of employees whose life-blood comes from the paychecks they receive from whatever company is laying people off.

But, I can't dwell on that.  I still can't believe how fast that trip up to Heber and back occurred.  I was "probably" not going the speed limit.  My excuse is a malfunctioning speedometer that is going to cost hundreds of dollars to fix and not really high on the priority list to fix.

Well, whatever the case, time to be off to work.

G'day.

ben

2 hours up, 2 hours back.  Trip to Heber that is.  Spent the entire time driving up there talking with my one and only offspring - Caleb, my 20 year old son.  The conversation ranged the heights of the mountains and the depths of the sea and the trip up there was over too soon.

No emotion this time, though, the first time I took him up there I was pretty well undone.  Prayed with him and asked him to PLEASE tell us what's going on up there, even if he didn't think it was important.

The drive back was so heavy with traffic that I didn't have time to think about what was going on, even though I have already given that much thought.  But the reality sank in after pulling up to my driveway and seeing his car parked out there.

It's one thing to know something is going to happen and is coming your way, it's another thing entirely when that happens and then it hits you.

I'm not crying, but to know that form this point forth, I'm just plain not going to see him very much?  Not really the happiest of thoughts.  He's a good person, he's full of love and compassion, his friends posting on his Facebook wall attest to that fact.  One of them was really undone, obviously, as he wrote to Caleb and told him about their growing up together and what it means to him for Caleb to be gone.

The whole thing has unsettled me.  I'm sitting here working a job 5 days a week and really getting nothing out of it.  It isn't what God has called me to do yet it's so easy to get snagged into it forever.  I'm called to be a missionary, an evangelist, preaching the Word.  I don't know what to do.  Yet.  I do have some ideas for a beginning to that end.  Some serious life changes in order.  Not quitting work or anything, but what I do with my free time.

Not going into that, just not the right time for it.  Get it going  in my life and then discuss it.

Whatever the case, a 9 day vacation is over.  It's almost bedtime and then get up at 4:30 am for work.  It's been very helpful to have this time off and give me time to think about things.

My son asked with a longing sound to his voice whether I was going to get rid of Sebastian.  That's what he calls my old Buick that I gave to him to use until he didn't need to use it anymore.  Well, the car isn't worth much and I have much more dumped into it than I will ever get out of it.  Just for his exclamation of his apparently relationship with that old car, I decided not to get rid of it.  Instead - sounds selfish and maybe it is - but the situation with the people next door is intolerable.

They used to call the police if anyone from my house parked their car even 2 inches on the other side of my property line and across theirs.  There is nothing illegal about that, it's on-street parking. But we went ahead and made sure we were behind the property line and then one day,  a female tenant that used to live here had parked a foot or so in past my line and this guy started cussing her out and giving her a very hard time.  I wasn't there but my neighbor saw it and was shocked.

Now, for 8 months anyway, this guy has been parking in front of my house.  Like anywhere from 1 foot to 4 feet beyond his property line.  No, I don't call the police like he has on us.  Instead, I am going to wait until that van of theirs is gone and I am going to park Sebastian right up to the edge of my property line.  I am going to grease the front bumper in case he decides to back into it.  It's going to sit there for a long time.  Like almost 2 months until Caleb is back from the camp thing.  He will be here a short time and then off to California for a youth convention for a week and then back here for a couple of weeks and then.....of to Hawaii for a year.

It's after he leaves for Hawaii is when I will decide whether to keep that car or not.  I have no use for it, though I don't consider it a bad thing to have a backup car in case the main car breaks down.

Whatever the case, not a thing I need to concern myself with now.

And onto the final thing:

time to go to bed.

ben