Tuesday

Was unable to do anything on here this morning: had to get to work as soon as I got to work, which is usually around 5:30 am, maybe a bit earlier. Busy day at work today, very busy. Worked almost 10 hours non-stop. Tomorrow looks to be the same.

My dad informed me yesterday that I am no longer the executor of his estate and that he is giving everything to his current wife. Nothing against me, she has paid his way quite a lot even though he has money - she gets a military pension or something from her former husband. The caveat to that is if she dies first, then it goes to me. I don't really spend a lot of time thinking about my parent's death. I have seen many others go through it and it looks to be an earthly form of hell, to say the least. When it happens, it happens and I expect to be a basket case for a while. Until then, just enjoy the fact that both my parents are alive, kicking and still moving about.

I think it's when they stop moving is when you start worrying. I think that's true of anyone at any age, but especially the older generation. They stop moving and it seems to me it's pretty much a downhill route after that - downhill to the grave.

My mother also informed me of her already written plans when she dies: A trust. There is no executor, I had thought she had left that to my oldest brother. Not. She left him power of attorney - that is, to end her life if she turns into a vegetable and she has expressed many times over that she does not want to exist in such a state. Pull the plugs and let it go. Easier said than done, I am sure.

She figures that if she left one of us as executor, there would be fighting and hate and this, that and the other thing. I actually wouldn't have cared if my oldest brother had been named executor of estate, it's my middle brother I would have a SERIOUS problem with. He already goes into hysteria when she gives something out of her collection to either me or my oldest brother, exclaiming that he should have received it. The fact of the matter is, I have not asked her for anything, she gives it of her own free will. The REAL fact of the matter is that he, my middle brother, has received some CHOICE things from our family's heritage and he has NOTHING to complain about.

HE is, undoubtedly, the basis of her concerns in this matter. So, she says from much experience dealing with other people's estates, she hopes we can all work it out together. It is really, to me, pretty much out in space to expect that we are all going to be able to work it out, but the caveat in this situation is this: a third goes to each of us. If we can't figure it out, "be prepared to shell out big bucks to take it to court". I've seen this as well. You can spend the money, if you have it and if you want to waste it, in the end, it would be easier and you would probably end up with a lot more if you just sat down at a table and negotiated it. But, my middle brother looks down on me as if I am a 2 year old. I don't expect that that day will go that well.

I got all of this news in the last 4 days, actually.

The only thing this has done for me is to light a fire under my feet: get to saving even more. I am at 5% taken out of my paychecks to 401k, that isn't going to change for now. I am only going that far with it because my company matches up to that point. I do not trust the stock market right now and I am only investing in some - hope - that in the end, it will not all disappear.

I started an automatic withdrawal out of my checking account into a savings account about 2 months ago. This funded by my recent merit-increase at work. I've decided I need to double it. I have had more hours at work on almost every paycheck for a month and a half now. I can do a secondary withdrawal at the same amount I already have withdrawing and if for some reason, it doesn't pan out, I can simply cancel it. Oh, well the extra money from the paychecks has actually gone to funding the under-payments and no-payments from now ex-tenants. The worst of the summer is over, the high electric usage will start to come down now. By the time winter arrives, I will be at least $250 per month less in electric usage and probably around $75 less in water usage.

I have 8 months of payments on the trailer. It will be reduced by 3 months when I sell the old one. I have had a couple of offers on it, but too lowball. I want at least $600 out of it and it will go straight to the people I owe the money to.

My mind is, of course, churning again. It's all about retirement. I guess I take in too much information sometimes about one, particular thing. I read about all the people that are retiring that are broke. They have not saved enough and are attempting to live off of Social Security. I can't even THINK about living off that low amount of money for my retirement years. It's simply out of the question. Not if I can do anything about it, and while I have my health, I am elevating the level of dedication towards it.

The issue is this: to have a place that is paid for when it is time to retire. This property? Not going to happen, but I don't want to retire here anyway. I am going to have to consider about how to get a property, up in the mountains, on payments, that I can afford. Preferably that has water and electricity or has the availability to get it.

I am sort of perplexed at this point. I can't rely on any kind of inheritance, this is what the experts tell you. Don't count on it, it may not happen. My retirement calculations have not included any inheritances. I have, however, done the calculations with SS benefits and without. The difference is substantial. Without SS benefits - of which I am paying a substantial amount of money into on a paycheck by paycheck basis.

I don't really want to go into this issue of whether it will be there when I need it - but it REALLY sucks to think that all of the money I have paid into that system might be totally in vain - and totally forced upon me. This isn't just a waste of my money, I consider it a THEFT of my money.

Not going there in this entry. Only focused on what I can do about my situation as it stands right now. Property, owned out and out, with some kind of livable structure on it. If I don't start focusing on this NOW - even if retirement is 20 years away - I am going to be SCREWED by the time that time gets here. Living under a bridge and asking for handouts. I do NOT live some sort of lavish lifestyle or a lifestyle beyond my means.

For this reason, the travel trailer I bought/am buying is probably going to stay on the property. I will get another one to take up to my mother's property. After that, my focus is going to be on finding and buying on payments a property somewhere that isn't just suitable for living, it's NICE for retiring on. The payments on some of the properties I have looked into are very low - this stuff is going cheap now with low or no down payment.

I'm not really - formulated - on this situation right now. This entered my head after my dad informed me of his intentions. I don't hold it against him, in fact, it really gave me reason to alter even more my plans.

That's it for now. I will considering and researching this issue starting now for some time to come. Hopefully within a year or so come to some kind of formulation of how to get to where I want to be. A second job is not out of the question - never has been - just not much available right now. Building a self-contained "casita" style room has floated around in my mind for some time. The place would be a kitchenette style thing with it's own, very-small bathroom with shower stall; a small kitchen and a living room that is also your bedroom.

I'm in full mode at this point. I have to come up with a clearly defined path of how to get to where I want to be in 20 years and that has proved to be difficult at best, it isn't getting any easier.

Enough.

I am going to bed early, these early-start work times and late end times get me good, though I can't say I don't like it, the paychecks are so much nicer : )

G'nite.


ben