Umm, well, here we are.
Sunday. No more NFL football.
Not a big fan of basketball anymore, not because I don't like the game but because of the abundant, stupid, selfish attitudes of the players. I have never liked soccer. Hockey I watch once in a blue moon. Baseball I also steer away from, though I used to be an avid fan.
No great loss, just musing. Went to church today and the guest speaker was back for round 2. Good sermon, but I am considering leaving the church altogether. I have never been a fan of the cliques in church. I saw them when I was a leader in the church and balked at it. People get into these little groups and will not go beyond them. I never thought it was anything Christian to engage in such and now on the receiving end of it, I definitely don't think it is now.
Receiving end meaning these people have been together for years, it's a church plant from Memphis, Tennessee. I cannot find a way into any of it, though I have tried. These people want to impact the Tempe area, yet they can't even find a way to reach out to people that come to their own church. Heck, I'll even name the name of it: Freedom Gate Church of Tempe, Arizona.
When I was in a different place in church - before the divorce and meaning I was a part of the leadership - I made it a point to reach out to new people and do whatever needed to be done to make sure they were made a part of it, if that's what they wanted. I would drag other members into it with me just because I felt so strongly about it. Who wants to go to church and feel like an outsider forever? That was the reason I went to such great lengths at the time and now? Doesn't seem like I can catch a break at this place.
Cliques may be a part of human life, but that doesn't make it right for the Christian church. Well, it's been 7 or 8 months of going to this church but I might as well be a newcomer that showed up for the first time this morning. The lack of engagement is astounding. I saw another guy that had started coming regularly to the church who was also in the same predicament. I reached out to him, but he ended up leaving as well as others I have noted that have come and gone.
I listen to their grand plan of impacting Tempe, but as long as they are stuck in their little groups and would rather not be bothered by "outsiders", they aren't going to go anywhere. Just an observation from - an outsider.
Of course, that information will never hit the ears of the people it needs to hit, I am just venting. I sat alone, eating at a table today, while the little cliques all enjoyed the company of their friends. I felt like throwing the food in the trash can - I am not poor, I can buy my own food - the point of eating "with" others is the "fellowship" aspect. It was even more amazing that people were standing or sitting there, staring at me, as if I was an alien that just landed from outer-space. Am I having a pity party? I dunno, maybe. It's just that I have been involved with the church for quite a long time now - sans 7 years of visiting churches here and there but not really wanting anything to do with it until I came to this church and resolved in myself that I would become a part of it as much as I could.
I am beginning to revert back to the mindset of: "I can visit a church here and there" mode. I could go about this in a totally different way. People ask you how you are doing at this church? I could look them in the eye and tell them that they are asking a question that they could care less whether they hear the answer or not. Lol. I could reply that they are only asking that question to make the appearance of actually caring. See, I have seen this in the Christian church for decades, it's nothing new. I would challenge any pastor to tell me I am wrong, number 1 and number 2, that anything is ever done to change it. And, when I first started noticing this phenomenon over 2 decades ago, that's when I decided I would do my best to INCLUDE people, not just give them a passing "gee, nice to see you" and move on stance.
Whatever.
I dunno if I will be going back next week. If I do, it might be on a more confrontational clause. Is it worth it?
Maybe. They want to sit there and talk about their vision for this area, endlessly, yet they don't even see what's going on in front of their faces. That would be the only point to it. Yet, in my mind, I know it would be a waste of time and energy, so why bother.
Well, it's outside to the great blue yonder. Beautiful day out there and I have some things I want to get done.
G'day.
ben
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