Midnight, call it Sunday morning.  Got home an hour and a half ago. Dogs were all over me, then tenants.  I'm tired but winding down from traveling with a bunch of screaming kids making all kinds of noise in the airplane.  And kicking my seat.  And making me want to do things, such as pull off my belt and take care of business.  But I refrained from doing anything and that was that.

Good trip, though, as far as the visit is concerned.  I had 4 boys traipsing along with me to the lower pond on both Thursday and Friday.  I was intent on building the dam and they were intent on helping me - though the idea of driving a pickup and a tractor were certainly part of the allure. Still, they just hung with me for half a day like flies on honey.  I got the message: they want a man around and they need that kind of attention.  I'm not a person to sit around and do nothing and I do have a sense of humor though my kind is hard for people to figure out at first.  Those 2 days were very productive for me, not in building a dam though I got that 80% finished, but in terms of figuring out whether this is going to work or not.

For me, it isn't just about the Lady, it's about the entire family. I can love her to death but if her kids hate me, then what?  Not a workable situation.  2 days ago, the 12 year old blurted out in front of everyone and much to my surprise: I love you Ben.  He said it again a couple of hours later and then a couple of times since then. Then, the 14 year old - serious issues but the right kind of input would fix it I think - said the same thing.  The 15 year has been saying that since the night those kids found out about m'lady and I.  The 17 year old opened up quite a bit, much more than expected.  Several times, too, not just one occasion.

That was really all I needed.  I can go into more about all of this later, but this is the jist of it with those boys.  She is coming out here in February, no kids, time spent alone, it will be, for me, the final thing I need to make a definitive decision.  If that trip for her to here turns out well, then it is a done deal for me.  Let's do this.  I will propose to her and if she accepts, a entirely new book, not a new chapter.  I don't need new chapters in an old book, I need a fresh book started at page 1.

Enough. I am exhausted.