Pardon the change in this blog's direction while I continue to write out my feelings and thoughts of what is going on in my life and attempting to ensure within myself that the ultimate end goal for any relationship, at least IMO, is marriage.  To that end my mind has wandered through endless scenarios and thought up every problem that might arise that could put a wedge between us and the idea that these things need to be talked through with her before I make the commitment.

This isn't about having second thoughts, it's about going through all the thoughts and emotions first so there will be no second thoughts if/when I decide to move on with this.  I've already been in a bad marriage, a second is hardly a palatable thought.  There are so many tangibles in this situation with all those kids, her ex, a huge house that has a lot of problems, this that and the other thing.

At least I have spent 2 weeks out there now and have immersed myself in that situation and know what I am getting into.

That's where I'm at with this.

ben