Tuesday.
Long, boring day at work. Did not get anything to do until around 12:45 pm and that was a very small and short-lived delivery to a job site not far from our branch.  It is a bit disconcerting to see us going through this again - the entire region is going through the same thing.  In the past, that meant layoffs/pink slips.  They've hired a bunch of new people - but fortunately none of them are drivers and there are only 3 of us - 2 from the main branch and me from the East Valley branch - that have been there a long time and we know what we are doing. That doesn't make any of us non-expendable, but it is hopefully at least a bit helpful.

As for the misses and I, just biding our time until she comes out here.  I am hopeful for a good ending to this 3rd visit with each other.  But who knows.  She is coming on my birthday which also happens to be my 50th birthday.  I didn't have too big a problem hitting 40, but hitting 50?  Not really like that at all.  I know, it's not that bad, whatever, it is for me, at least for now.  I'll get over it but going out and having a fun time not really anything I was looking forward to doing, but she is insisting that we go do something.  This is a brace-myself moment for me, not the part being with her but yes, hitting the big 5-0.

2:00 am.  Black Dane.  Gets up out of bed running to the door, I wake up instantly, turn on the light and there he is, s****** all over the place while walking around.  Piss me off.  That dog doesn't even try to wake me up.  Threw his @$$ out, cleaned up and extensive amount of mess and left him out for the rest of the night and day.  Can't believe that dog.  Every other dog will wake me up, come stick their muzzle in my face, but noooooo, not Prince.  Just get up and start crapping everywhere.  He does it again and his days sleeping in my bedroom are done.  He even has his own bed, for crying out loud.  Whatever.  Just a very rude awakening to that site and smell at that hour of the night.

Her kids.  Have talked at great length to the 15 and 17 year old - yes, even more than what I last reported.  But the 17 year old is living in some sort of unrealistic dream world.  I'm not going to sit here and bash the boy, he is a product of his upbringing.  A lack of a dad's involvement and even a cold shoulder from his dad at this point.  He is, simply put, not ready for the real world and if his attitude towards his mother continues the way it's been going, he is in for a rude awakening.  If he were to be put out on the streets right now, he would probably not make it.  I both feel for him and wonder about his attitude at the same time. And all that he believes........

The 15 year old goes back and forth between obedience and doing what he is told and disobedience and either mouthing off or simply ignoring her altogether.  Not really going to go into the details, he's actually a good kid but has some anger issues.  Well they're both good kids, IMO they have potential just need some strong guidance to steer them in the right direction.  They absolutely to not get that guidance from their dad, at least from what I can see and hear.

Whatever the case, I spend quantitative amounts of time thinking about actually moving out there and living out there versus what I am doing right now.  At times, I think, what am I thinking about doing here?  Going to live with a lady that has all these rebellious teenagers?  Why would I want to subject myself to that?!!  Then I think about my 2, week-long visits there and consider that they did not act out when I was there.  But I know teenagers.  I may be a LOT bigger than them, but teenagers tend to push the limits.  Go as far as they can and see what happens.  Are you going to cave, are you going to be able to deal with it, what?  I'd have to live with all of this, therefore, yes, I need to give it serious consideration and thought.

Not shying away, but count the costs, as the Bible puts it in Luke 14:28 puts it, though that is concerning counting the costs of becoming a disciple of Christ.  Still, I won't just blindly jump into this and not give serious consideration to what I am leaving behind and what I am walking into.  A house that needs a great deal of attention and repairs, a property that is beautiful but also needs some attention, kids that have lost their way.  Beautiful lady though, : ).  Moving to a place where I know absolutely no-one, having to start all over again in a different church (and from what I am seeing of the church she is going to, I don't much care for it), etc etc etc.  It's a lot to take in.

Susan came out a while back and gave me a look and said she wrote down on a piece of paper when she moved out here from California the pro's and the con's and gave me the suggestion that I do the same, so that is what I have been doing.

As for today, I am tired.  That dog doing that in the middle of the night. It's not like you can just turn over and go back to sleep.  The smell is obnoxious, you have no choice but to get up and deal with it, including getting out the carpet cleaning machine and clean the carpet - and clean it well.

Enough.  She has been busy all day and we haven't had chance to talk that much. Her insurance agent should be leaving soon and then we can spend some time talking!

ben