Thursday, August 3, 2023

 So.

I went to Lowe's. Got the parts I needed, headed back to the park.  Checked the guy's trailer with the dog, nice and cool in there, dog is fine.

Went over to collect money - they had less than they said they did but I took it.  

Went to work.  Dug out the water line completely and installed the spigot assembly.  That is done.

Dug out the sewer line where I want the sewer hook up.  Cut 2 pieces of sewer line and installed them into the sewer Y.  My cordless saw ran out of battery power, so I plugged the battery in and went to work on the electrical outlet.  

I went over to check and see if they have a long enough extension cord to reach to where I want to put the outlet - otherwise I'd have to go buy more wire.  Looked good but I then saw they also have a 30 amp outlet.  It isn't running an ac unit, that's what the extension cord is doing.  It must just be supplying power to the rest of the rv for lights and such. 

I wasn't prepared for that, but, I just happen to have a 30 amp, outdoor, weatherproof box.  Anyway, that could be done later, I thought, I'll just go to work on the 20 amp outlet.  Got that all installed....

....and then the phone rang.  It was the animal hospital. I was expecting good news, I did not get it.

His white blood cell count is way down and some other count I forget the name of is so far down, they are sure it's cancer.  Prostate cancer.  She went on for a while about those numbers, what they mean and then she said: the dog has basically given up.  He has no fight left in him. She danced around the subject for a few minutes so I just went ahead and addressed the white elephant in the room: So you are saying he needs to be put down?  Yes.  I know, we want every doggy to be well taken care of, healed and go home but sometimes it doesn't work out that way.....I didn't hear the rest.  

Emotion started to take over and whatever else she said just didn't register excepting that they are closed between 12:30 and 1:30.  I said it's ok, I'm in the middle of a project, going to have to go home, take a shower and change.

So here I am, sitting in my bedroom, facing the prospect of watching Addler be put down.  I haven't had to deal with this since Duke was put down and that occurred while I was on the road.  I buried him at least but I didn't have the chance to see him go out of this world.  

I really thought he was going to come out of this.  I never thought he had cancer, but I guess I wasn't facing reality. He wasn't getting any better and that should have started happening by now. They say he looks like a dog that has totally given up, no fight left in him.  I expect he will perk up when he sees me but I know when it's time to go, it's time to go.

That doesn't mean it's going to be an easy thing.  I'll take care of the paperwork before they do this to him because I am going to want to leave directly after his eyes change color.  They always try to tell you he's gone, I always look in their eyes.  They go from whatever color they are to a greyish state and that, to me, is when I know they have passed.  And then, I leave and start sobbing.

And then there are these kids that aren't home yet that have never faced this before. The oldest is a very emotional person, he will be crying as well.  In fact, he will have a melt down in emotional stress.  I don't know who is going to be in worse shape, me or him. That dog has been around almost as long as he has been alive...and they like each other....he was petting him the other day before they left.  

The rest of the day is toast.  I don't care what I have to do, I'll finish it tomorrow.  I was going to get it all ready today, even going and getting the 30 amp breaker and wire I'll need, but that is just not going to happen now.  It won't take a lot to install that as far as time and the sewer setup shouldn't take but another 30 minutes.  

I can't anymore of this. I told Taylor and she came in crying. We are now both emotional wrecks. 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Real tears here. Many. Best leash walking dog of my life.

Losing Copper was equivalent heartbreak.

Getting Ginger & Bear best cure ever.

When it is time.

BenB said...

I'm torn apart right now. I will eventually get another dog, just have to give it a little time. Losing any dog you love is heartbreaking.

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