I'm sort of missing being a part of a church.  When I say that, I mean volunteering and doing the menial jobs or just helping people in need, nothing fancy and not the head of anything (I've done that, not wanting to do that at this point in time).  

I've just had such bad experiences with churches and it just seems like I'm opening myself up to another disaster if I try to get involved.  So I don't.

I was looking at the event they had for people that volunteer at the church I go to - it's a large church, yes, but there looked to be 200 people there.  I don't know any of those people in those pictures of them. I know who some of them are, ie: their roles and duties in the church, but I don't know them on a personal basis.

In fact, the only person there that really knows my name is the pastor.  This isn't a pity party, lol, I have resisted for quite a while getting involved because of the burns I have experienced in the past, especially by leadership in the church.  

I haven't gotten involved in any of the adult ministries where people gather to discuss things, get in the word, make new friends because I haven't wanted to have that kind of connection.  Old stuff is hard to shake off apparently, I thought I had gotten past a lot of that stuff.  Well, I think I have gotten past it, it's just starting over again....do I really want to do that?  

It's easy to get lost in a big church.  It's not why I go there, the kids pretty much get me to start going again. I was going to that church sporadically before they said they wanted to start going.  I haven't made a single friend in that big church since I started going - by design.  I haven't tried and I haven't wanted to. If I did want to, I'd go to those meetings and by now I'd be hanging out with different people.  I have no problems making friends, don't read this wrong lol... it's the type of friends I want.  I have found that non-Christians who don't go to church and want nothing to do with church make far better friends that these people that DO go to church.

Oh, these people have their horror stories of sheer hypocrisy and that's why they have shunned the church.  They don't want anything to do with it and after hearing some of the stories, I can hardly blame them.  If people see these people as representative of Christ, I can see where they'd want nothing to do with any of it.  Backstabbers, gossips, just a lot of stuff you wouldn't think you'll find inside of a church.  One of my stories ended up having a church losing half it's members. 

Not going into that now, just thinking about whether I want to start going to these meetings. I'd go to a 9:30 am meeting, out before the 11:00 am service, which I normally go to.