It's been a gritty weekend.
The first started by the 14 year old on Friday night with the fire he started in the bathroom in the house and all that ensued with that chaos and drama and then last night huge issue with the 16 year old that was doing pretty well but broke down and went haywire last night. I had to talk to that boy for almost 2 hours to get him to calm down and refocus himself. The problem here is that he has his first real girl friend. Yeah, I know he's young and doesn't really know what that's all about but in this case, this is the first one he's been able to stay with. The rest lasted a week and it was done and over with. He didn't have a clue how to treat girls so I helped him out with that too some months ago.
Regardless, when he's over at their house, life is grand and wonderful. They treat him like a prince. There isn't any of the "family stuff" and though that's all nice, find and wonderful, it's la-la land. He comes home and has to deal with all that there is to deal with in having 5 younger brothers and sisters living there as well, plus a mom that demands he does his chores and plenty of it. The situation further exacerbated because her parents are in love with him, they think he's just the greatest kid on earth and they buy him stuff and just do everything for him. God knows if I were there I would be having sit down with these folks because what they are doing isn't really good. They don't understand how that affects his outlook on things at home and from my limited conversations with them in the past, I don't really think they care. It's all good for them, who cares what he has to deal with at home and in reality, if it's really that bad, then why not make him feel all googly and wonderful while at their home?
Why not? Because that doesn't help him learn how to deal with life, that's why. Everyone has some rotten family member or ugly situation at home or whatever, I just about guarantee there isn't a person alive that when they think of family, some negative thing comes popping up and takes over everything else. Or something close to that.
Whatever the case, I am going to start invoking those thoughts in his tiny little brain starting this week.
And further whatever the case, mom just said here you deal with him. Not exactly like that, she loves him and all her kids but she is having way too much trouble dealing with them, just doesn't understand how the teenage boy's mind works and all the little intricacies that go along with it and how to effectively navigate through all that junk and get to a solution to things without the kid blowing up and having a conniption fit. I suppose that isn't always an attainable ending but if you throw out enough logic and reasoning and real life situations that they can look it, it does work most of the time. At least for me it does, but then again I have been dealing with that gender and age group for over 20 years now.
So I said fine but I'm going to work a compromise here and you'll pretty much have to be happy with it. She didn't want him gone today which is understandable but at the same time I'm trying to work this from 1,200 miles away and so for the here-and-now, it's compromise land for me. It's one thing to try and sit here and deal with this, it will be completely another when I can be right there, in front of them, talking directly to them and no more of this phone and texting business. So,the boy is at church right now with mom and family and then gf's parents pick him up and bring him back by 7. He cannot call mom to try and talk her into more time, either. In fact, he cannot call her for any reason unless it's a real emergency. He tries to play the game and get more time by having his gf's mother text m'lady and ask. That won't work with me, in fact it will piss me off because that simply means that they are undermining her God-given authority and responsibility in that boy's life to have the final say and not have it questioned, especially by someone else's parents.
And yes, I am going to text him while he's with that girl. That's what I do. That's what I did with my own son. IMO, that's being a responsible parent. Some have told me that is helicopter parenting and to that I say bulls***. Helicopter parenting is a style of parenting that restricts the child from doing much of anything and constantly bombarding them with control and authority. I let my son live his life and figure things out, but I was THERE for him and I made it known to him that I was going to be watching him. From afar, yes, but still. Well not always from afar, lol, I showed up on his doorstep - wherever he was - several times out of the blue, unannounced, uninvited and I didn't care!
__________________________
Long interlude. Just got home from church, awesome! While there I received a text: Jacob, the 14 year old,wants to talk to me. I put the feelers out through the 16 year that I would like to talk to him on the phone and discuss these issues with him and try to drag out of him why he is acting out like he is (such as setting portions of the house on fire twice now) and what can we do to change that? So......yeah.......that's today. Like in a few minutes. Gotta get my mind and spirit man ready for that because this kid has got serious problems and I am not even sure I can help him but I am going to try and since he told his mom he wants to talk to me, definitely.
I think this phone call is going to take it out of me.
Soooooo, off to the races!
G'day.
ben
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Lighting Fires In The House
What more fun thing could you think of to do on a Friday night than be talking with your fiancee' and then the next thing you know, all hell is breaking loose at her house? 14 year old boy piled some kind of material in one of the upstairs bathroom sinks and then set it on fire.
Yup, right inside the house. This after he told her she was fu****** stupid and other not-so-nice expletives and adjectives that more likely describe a monster, not one's own mom. She sends me a pic and then asks me if she should call the police. I'm thinking what I might be inclined to do in such a situation - probably kick the kid in the ass and other such manhandling events and then shove his ass down the stairs, out the door, throw some blankets out there and bid him a good night.
He set his mattress on fire last month. Yes, his mattress, in his bedroom. She called the police, Sheriff's came out, 4 of them apparently, decided they couldn't take him but advised her to "wear his ass out". ??? What, are you going to make him work all night long? I never heard that phrase used in the context of what they were saying it so I had no clue that they actually meant to whip his ass until it really, really, reallllllly hurts. They were saying all of this in front of the boy. They further advised that if she does decide to spank him and if he offered any resistance at all, they would be happy to come back and beat his ass for her.
I'm not sure they can legally do that, I think they were pretty much reading him the riot act and trying to put the fear of God - or man - into him.
I can only say that if I were there now, much of this s*** wouldn't be happening. He simply needs a man in his face to help him deal with all the junk that is going on inside of him that no-one will help with and she doesn't really have a clue how to deal with teenage boys. She freely admits that. Girls, yes, boys, no. Her options were to go ahead and whip his ass or dump him on ex's doorstep. Who would do nothing. He might not even take him. Never-the-less, she opted for the ass whipping. I simply said make sure someone else is in there with you with a cell phone to call police again in case he goes crazy on her.
I will not say how many times she whipped him, I will say that he was pretty much - in a lot of pain. But, he let her do it. I say let because he is much bigger than her and in the realm of size, he could easily beat the snot out of her if he wanted to. The police saying what they said is the reason he didn't put up a fight. Otherwise, I am sure this would be a completely different story being printed on this page right now.
I have not talked to her yet today to find out how things are going over there, I need my coffee first! I'm assuming the boy is either going to come into alignment with her demands - which is simply to do basic chores around the house - or perhaps he will run away, as she has threatened that she will beat his ass again. I'm not really all for spanking a 14 year old, but in her case, the only alternative is to dump him. She doesn't really want to do that.
As for me, my slow preparations to move - not in a big hurry it's not going to happen tomorrow afternoon - continue on. Plodding along in my closet, which is easily the biggest thing I have to go through since it's where keep anything and everything of value to me. And, as I have been finding out and a bit embarrassing, also en-massing piles of papers from the past covering a huge vortex of issues and things that - vortex the wrong word but seems to fit anyway - I have had to go through, piece by piece and discarding most of it. Much of it important at the time I was going through it or otherwise using it, now it's just history that I have no need to keep a collection of. Still, it is amazingly boring, tedious and monotonous work that I would rather not have to do. I will be spending even more quality time in there today.
I also have to get Caleb's car ready to sell, meaning going to Auto Zone and trading the bad battery in for a good one and cleaning out the car - of which he left rather messy. I should be able to fetch around $800 for it. It's ugly, it's got dings on the door and such but, it runs great. A good running car is the only thing I need to get some kind of money out of it. Oh, yes, I dd ask him if he wanted the thing, he does not. He won't be back here that long when he returns from Hawaii and then purportedly off to Japan.
Regardless,the closet and continuing on with it is on today's agenda. Work on it until I can take it no longer, leave it and come back to it type of thing Just not something I can sit there and do alllll day long without stopping though if I were to do that, I could have it done today. I am not that motivated.
At work, the rumors may still be flying about, I have no idea, but at least the endless stream of people approaching me and asking if they are true has stopped. Not that I mind replying, because some of the rumors are completely hilarious as people recirculate things they hear and then add and detract things from the story until it has morphed into something completely and totally different than what is actually happening. I had the same thing occur many years ago when a transmission - a very large and heavy one out of a semi tractor - fell onto my knee. As the rumors spread, over the days after the accident, I had people coming up to me looking at me in shock. "Oh, I heard that you had to have your leg amputated!" and other such nonsense.
I have finally decided in my mind that leaving the house under the care of Mark and Lynnette will probably work out - with frequent phone calls making sure they are covering everything - and that eventually the house will go well beyond what I owe on it and I can sell it and be done with it. Or whatever, who knows. If I get the job offer in Shreveport and she can continue on with her programming work and also continue receiving a rather substantial amount of money in child support, money will not be an issue with us - at all. In fact, there should be plenty left over. I want some toys is my deal. Lol. A dirt bike and a quad and a truck to pull a trailer with all of it loaded on it.
I suppose this entry has one on long enough. 12 days until I fly out of here and go for another visit. 13 days until I find out whether I have a job offer or not. 13 days as well until I get in front of that 14 year old and start having a man-to-man with him or maybe I should call that a man-to-child since that's really how he is living his life. Well, maybe let that go until that Saturday or even Sunday. Never-the-less, I want an opportunity to try and drag out of that kid what it is, exactly, that is going on inside of him that makes him want to act out in such bizarre and even dangerous ways - lighting things on fire inside of the house is hardly an act that most people would call safe........
G'day.
ben
Yup, right inside the house. This after he told her she was fu****** stupid and other not-so-nice expletives and adjectives that more likely describe a monster, not one's own mom. She sends me a pic and then asks me if she should call the police. I'm thinking what I might be inclined to do in such a situation - probably kick the kid in the ass and other such manhandling events and then shove his ass down the stairs, out the door, throw some blankets out there and bid him a good night.
He set his mattress on fire last month. Yes, his mattress, in his bedroom. She called the police, Sheriff's came out, 4 of them apparently, decided they couldn't take him but advised her to "wear his ass out". ??? What, are you going to make him work all night long? I never heard that phrase used in the context of what they were saying it so I had no clue that they actually meant to whip his ass until it really, really, reallllllly hurts. They were saying all of this in front of the boy. They further advised that if she does decide to spank him and if he offered any resistance at all, they would be happy to come back and beat his ass for her.
I'm not sure they can legally do that, I think they were pretty much reading him the riot act and trying to put the fear of God - or man - into him.
I can only say that if I were there now, much of this s*** wouldn't be happening. He simply needs a man in his face to help him deal with all the junk that is going on inside of him that no-one will help with and she doesn't really have a clue how to deal with teenage boys. She freely admits that. Girls, yes, boys, no. Her options were to go ahead and whip his ass or dump him on ex's doorstep. Who would do nothing. He might not even take him. Never-the-less, she opted for the ass whipping. I simply said make sure someone else is in there with you with a cell phone to call police again in case he goes crazy on her.
I will not say how many times she whipped him, I will say that he was pretty much - in a lot of pain. But, he let her do it. I say let because he is much bigger than her and in the realm of size, he could easily beat the snot out of her if he wanted to. The police saying what they said is the reason he didn't put up a fight. Otherwise, I am sure this would be a completely different story being printed on this page right now.
I have not talked to her yet today to find out how things are going over there, I need my coffee first! I'm assuming the boy is either going to come into alignment with her demands - which is simply to do basic chores around the house - or perhaps he will run away, as she has threatened that she will beat his ass again. I'm not really all for spanking a 14 year old, but in her case, the only alternative is to dump him. She doesn't really want to do that.
As for me, my slow preparations to move - not in a big hurry it's not going to happen tomorrow afternoon - continue on. Plodding along in my closet, which is easily the biggest thing I have to go through since it's where keep anything and everything of value to me. And, as I have been finding out and a bit embarrassing, also en-massing piles of papers from the past covering a huge vortex of issues and things that - vortex the wrong word but seems to fit anyway - I have had to go through, piece by piece and discarding most of it. Much of it important at the time I was going through it or otherwise using it, now it's just history that I have no need to keep a collection of. Still, it is amazingly boring, tedious and monotonous work that I would rather not have to do. I will be spending even more quality time in there today.
I also have to get Caleb's car ready to sell, meaning going to Auto Zone and trading the bad battery in for a good one and cleaning out the car - of which he left rather messy. I should be able to fetch around $800 for it. It's ugly, it's got dings on the door and such but, it runs great. A good running car is the only thing I need to get some kind of money out of it. Oh, yes, I dd ask him if he wanted the thing, he does not. He won't be back here that long when he returns from Hawaii and then purportedly off to Japan.
Regardless,the closet and continuing on with it is on today's agenda. Work on it until I can take it no longer, leave it and come back to it type of thing Just not something I can sit there and do alllll day long without stopping though if I were to do that, I could have it done today. I am not that motivated.
At work, the rumors may still be flying about, I have no idea, but at least the endless stream of people approaching me and asking if they are true has stopped. Not that I mind replying, because some of the rumors are completely hilarious as people recirculate things they hear and then add and detract things from the story until it has morphed into something completely and totally different than what is actually happening. I had the same thing occur many years ago when a transmission - a very large and heavy one out of a semi tractor - fell onto my knee. As the rumors spread, over the days after the accident, I had people coming up to me looking at me in shock. "Oh, I heard that you had to have your leg amputated!" and other such nonsense.
I have finally decided in my mind that leaving the house under the care of Mark and Lynnette will probably work out - with frequent phone calls making sure they are covering everything - and that eventually the house will go well beyond what I owe on it and I can sell it and be done with it. Or whatever, who knows. If I get the job offer in Shreveport and she can continue on with her programming work and also continue receiving a rather substantial amount of money in child support, money will not be an issue with us - at all. In fact, there should be plenty left over. I want some toys is my deal. Lol. A dirt bike and a quad and a truck to pull a trailer with all of it loaded on it.
I suppose this entry has one on long enough. 12 days until I fly out of here and go for another visit. 13 days until I find out whether I have a job offer or not. 13 days as well until I get in front of that 14 year old and start having a man-to-man with him or maybe I should call that a man-to-child since that's really how he is living his life. Well, maybe let that go until that Saturday or even Sunday. Never-the-less, I want an opportunity to try and drag out of that kid what it is, exactly, that is going on inside of him that makes him want to act out in such bizarre and even dangerous ways - lighting things on fire inside of the house is hardly an act that most people would call safe........
G'day.
ben
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
My arms are aching.
I have intensified my workouts to the point that some of them are up to a full hour of doing nothing but free weights. I totally trashed my triceps almost 4 days ago now and they are still sore! Growing old you can't do nothing about, growing old and fat you can.
I'm sorta in a holding pattern at this point until I get down there, get the interview and find out if I have a job or not. Some of the kids are virtually begging me to pleeeeease get my stuff and move asap. Yes well that can't happen til I have a job. They understand this but patience is not necessarily a virtue with juveniles and young kids. One thing is for certain, long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart, especially if you really fall in love and can't see each other that often. Facebook, text messaging, Facetime, phone calls simply do not take place of personal contact. If I were a rich man, I'd just fly out there on weekends and have a couple of days of contact over nothing, but I am not and it is what it is. It's basically $300 give or take depending on what you end up with to fly to Tyler and back.
That's pretty good chunk of change for me.
Whatever the case, a new experiment landed on my doorstep 2 days ago when we were discussing the 16 year and his infatuation/love/whatever you want to call it for his recently found 14-year old girlfriend. He wanted to spend yesterday with his gf - they are on Spring Break. She told him no. We got to discussing it - she is kinda afraid if she puts the brakes on too much he'll bolt and run. But I talk to the boy every day, that's not really his mind frame though if she were to shut it down completely he probably would take off to his dad's. So he is asking her while I am on the phone with her and she told him flat out no. He texts me all dejected, well she said no.
Then we are talking about it and she just says: You make the decision. Okay. Her problem is she (admittedly) has no clue how to deal with teenage boys. So I asked her what she wants out of it. Might as well milk the cow. Work. Okay. Back to the boy, 3 days of work, at least 4 hours. Well what about church on Wednesday, he asks. No. Puuuulllllleeeeeeeeaaaaaaassssssseeeeeeee bro? He asks me. Back to momma. You make the decision dear. Yes hon, but you are the one that is going to have to drive over there and get the girl, take her to church with you and then drive her home.
Back to boy. Okay, this time. But 4 hours of work 3 days in a row no excuses. Starting today,btw, so I am going to be checking on him on that one. So yesterday I was texting him, what are you doing over there? ??? Yes, it's meeeeee. I was given the task of making the decision and checking up on you. Ohhhh. Yup, and get used to it and more, cause' I know what goes through teenage boys' minds.
So after dragging out the conversation, on purpose, with him, for over an hour, lol, I finally said yes. But today he gets to pay. Not only does he have to do his work that is already posted on paper, he has to take before and after pics and prove to me that he got it done.
Then it was talking to the 12 year old boy, then it was talking to the 10 year old boy - the 12 year old is pretty much a whiner and that's gonna have to be addressed head on.
Anyway, that's life at the ranch that I'm not even living at yet!
And I'm outta time!
G'day.
ben
I have intensified my workouts to the point that some of them are up to a full hour of doing nothing but free weights. I totally trashed my triceps almost 4 days ago now and they are still sore! Growing old you can't do nothing about, growing old and fat you can.
I'm sorta in a holding pattern at this point until I get down there, get the interview and find out if I have a job or not. Some of the kids are virtually begging me to pleeeeease get my stuff and move asap. Yes well that can't happen til I have a job. They understand this but patience is not necessarily a virtue with juveniles and young kids. One thing is for certain, long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart, especially if you really fall in love and can't see each other that often. Facebook, text messaging, Facetime, phone calls simply do not take place of personal contact. If I were a rich man, I'd just fly out there on weekends and have a couple of days of contact over nothing, but I am not and it is what it is. It's basically $300 give or take depending on what you end up with to fly to Tyler and back.
That's pretty good chunk of change for me.
Whatever the case, a new experiment landed on my doorstep 2 days ago when we were discussing the 16 year and his infatuation/love/whatever you want to call it for his recently found 14-year old girlfriend. He wanted to spend yesterday with his gf - they are on Spring Break. She told him no. We got to discussing it - she is kinda afraid if she puts the brakes on too much he'll bolt and run. But I talk to the boy every day, that's not really his mind frame though if she were to shut it down completely he probably would take off to his dad's. So he is asking her while I am on the phone with her and she told him flat out no. He texts me all dejected, well she said no.
Then we are talking about it and she just says: You make the decision. Okay. Her problem is she (admittedly) has no clue how to deal with teenage boys. So I asked her what she wants out of it. Might as well milk the cow. Work. Okay. Back to the boy, 3 days of work, at least 4 hours. Well what about church on Wednesday, he asks. No. Puuuulllllleeeeeeeeaaaaaaassssssseeeeeeee bro? He asks me. Back to momma. You make the decision dear. Yes hon, but you are the one that is going to have to drive over there and get the girl, take her to church with you and then drive her home.
Back to boy. Okay, this time. But 4 hours of work 3 days in a row no excuses. Starting today,btw, so I am going to be checking on him on that one. So yesterday I was texting him, what are you doing over there? ??? Yes, it's meeeeee. I was given the task of making the decision and checking up on you. Ohhhh. Yup, and get used to it and more, cause' I know what goes through teenage boys' minds.
So after dragging out the conversation, on purpose, with him, for over an hour, lol, I finally said yes. But today he gets to pay. Not only does he have to do his work that is already posted on paper, he has to take before and after pics and prove to me that he got it done.
Then it was talking to the 12 year old boy, then it was talking to the 10 year old boy - the 12 year old is pretty much a whiner and that's gonna have to be addressed head on.
Anyway, that's life at the ranch that I'm not even living at yet!
And I'm outta time!
G'day.
ben
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Standing down on that one.
She was upset with herself about something that occurred between us.
I just brushed it off, said I am all good with it and then continued on like nothing had happened.
Well, you know, after a pretty good discussion that she wanted to have about it, lol.
She calmed down, was all good and now we are ... all good!
Gotta date to interview with manager of Shreveport store on the 28th of this month at 1:00pm. I was glad that he wanted to see me on Friday, I can get that behind me - for better or worse - and move on to doing other things. The 16 year wants to have a bonfire but mom said no, wait until I'm there. I dunno why but whatever, it's cool. They have a HUGE pile of junk to be burned. It is sitting out in the middle of a huge field with nothing around it thankfully, no chance of catching anything else on fire. I mean, I am going to get pics and video of this and post it here and on FB, it should be cool to watch it go up!
And then I decided we are all going to go bowling, all 6 of the kids plus his girlfriend and obviously my future wife and I. That should be a hoot, those kids don't get to get out much and do anything like that. It's kinda expensive to take that many kids - much of anywhere to do much of anything - but I do believe that when we are married, with her income from programming plus my income plus child support we should be doing very well.
Meanwhile, at the home front, I decided to tackle my walk in closet yesterday. Major disaster. I spent 2 hours plus and got maybe 2 feet into it. I have no idea why I let it get so bad in there, but now? I gotta get it cleaned out, chuck what needs to be chucked, keep what I will move out there with me and give away whatever I don't want that is still good to use. One thing that was very nice: I found a gold mine in change in there. I haven't even unearthed all of it yet and there is at least $200 in change in a large plastic container that I brought in just for that purpose. I am pretty good at guessing close to what I have in change, I did a coin op candy business for quite a while, you get a feel for what you have. I have at least $100 in my other contained that I have been dumping change into for quite a while so I have some spending money for the trip, woohooooo!
That closet is the last major thing I have to get done. When it comes time to move it won't take terribly long to get stuff boxed up and get out of there. I may move into one of the other bedrooms before moving happens so I can get that rented out, need the income to break even on the house. So yeah, I will be feeling good about that once I get it done and I am going to work on it every day until it's accomplished.
I have also decided to take all my large Koi fish with me. They can be put into a very large plastic container, get a couple of air pumps going in it for the drive and then put them in the large upper pond once I arrive. They will love it! And they are too big for those ducks to do anything with plus most of them are smart enough to stay away from such. I am guessing at least a couple of my favorites will still come up to me if I come up with Koi pellets and start feeding them.
And with that, I am hopeful that this is my last "visit" out there. I am hoping for a job offer, get my stuff in order and get OUT of Phoenix. There will be very little that I miss about this place, some things/people yes, but not that much. I will definitely not miss the intense heat. Yes, I know the area I am going to has higher humidity but they don't get anything even close to as hot as Phoenix is and I am guessing they do believe in AC over there, if they don't guess I'm in for a warm ride! But Shreveport average temps in the summer are going from low 90's to mid 90's I suppose that could be hell if they have high humidity. Well, I don't have a job offer yet so no use going too much into that, excepting to say that they are using a temporary driver right now and they are happy to wait until I come out and see if it's a good fit. Corporate probably gets a little pushy about it, too, though. They are all for keeping people within the company, especially someone that has been there for a while.
I may get higher pay but it is a proven fact that it is much cheaper and easier in the long run to keep a good employee than it is to start fresh with someone new. So, I got in on that one just in time. The one in Longview, not so lucky, they had just hired their one and only driver. Who knows though, from what I am hearing they have a hard time with employee retention over there. I did not hear why that's the case, but if I'm being paid well I can pretty much overlook a lot of crud, keeping that in context with what goes on at the branch I am at now and also with our main branch downtown.
Time to go take a shower and get ready for church!
G'day.
ben
She was upset with herself about something that occurred between us.
I just brushed it off, said I am all good with it and then continued on like nothing had happened.
Well, you know, after a pretty good discussion that she wanted to have about it, lol.
She calmed down, was all good and now we are ... all good!
Gotta date to interview with manager of Shreveport store on the 28th of this month at 1:00pm. I was glad that he wanted to see me on Friday, I can get that behind me - for better or worse - and move on to doing other things. The 16 year wants to have a bonfire but mom said no, wait until I'm there. I dunno why but whatever, it's cool. They have a HUGE pile of junk to be burned. It is sitting out in the middle of a huge field with nothing around it thankfully, no chance of catching anything else on fire. I mean, I am going to get pics and video of this and post it here and on FB, it should be cool to watch it go up!
And then I decided we are all going to go bowling, all 6 of the kids plus his girlfriend and obviously my future wife and I. That should be a hoot, those kids don't get to get out much and do anything like that. It's kinda expensive to take that many kids - much of anywhere to do much of anything - but I do believe that when we are married, with her income from programming plus my income plus child support we should be doing very well.
Meanwhile, at the home front, I decided to tackle my walk in closet yesterday. Major disaster. I spent 2 hours plus and got maybe 2 feet into it. I have no idea why I let it get so bad in there, but now? I gotta get it cleaned out, chuck what needs to be chucked, keep what I will move out there with me and give away whatever I don't want that is still good to use. One thing that was very nice: I found a gold mine in change in there. I haven't even unearthed all of it yet and there is at least $200 in change in a large plastic container that I brought in just for that purpose. I am pretty good at guessing close to what I have in change, I did a coin op candy business for quite a while, you get a feel for what you have. I have at least $100 in my other contained that I have been dumping change into for quite a while so I have some spending money for the trip, woohooooo!
That closet is the last major thing I have to get done. When it comes time to move it won't take terribly long to get stuff boxed up and get out of there. I may move into one of the other bedrooms before moving happens so I can get that rented out, need the income to break even on the house. So yeah, I will be feeling good about that once I get it done and I am going to work on it every day until it's accomplished.
I have also decided to take all my large Koi fish with me. They can be put into a very large plastic container, get a couple of air pumps going in it for the drive and then put them in the large upper pond once I arrive. They will love it! And they are too big for those ducks to do anything with plus most of them are smart enough to stay away from such. I am guessing at least a couple of my favorites will still come up to me if I come up with Koi pellets and start feeding them.
And with that, I am hopeful that this is my last "visit" out there. I am hoping for a job offer, get my stuff in order and get OUT of Phoenix. There will be very little that I miss about this place, some things/people yes, but not that much. I will definitely not miss the intense heat. Yes, I know the area I am going to has higher humidity but they don't get anything even close to as hot as Phoenix is and I am guessing they do believe in AC over there, if they don't guess I'm in for a warm ride! But Shreveport average temps in the summer are going from low 90's to mid 90's I suppose that could be hell if they have high humidity. Well, I don't have a job offer yet so no use going too much into that, excepting to say that they are using a temporary driver right now and they are happy to wait until I come out and see if it's a good fit. Corporate probably gets a little pushy about it, too, though. They are all for keeping people within the company, especially someone that has been there for a while.
I may get higher pay but it is a proven fact that it is much cheaper and easier in the long run to keep a good employee than it is to start fresh with someone new. So, I got in on that one just in time. The one in Longview, not so lucky, they had just hired their one and only driver. Who knows though, from what I am hearing they have a hard time with employee retention over there. I did not hear why that's the case, but if I'm being paid well I can pretty much overlook a lot of crud, keeping that in context with what goes on at the branch I am at now and also with our main branch downtown.
Time to go take a shower and get ready for church!
G'day.
ben
Saturday, March 8, 2014
She has been pretty down for the last - week anyway.
But this morning she hit me with a bomb: We need to talk.
About what? Us.
I don't even know. First thing Saturday morning, 7 am, sorry, I can't do that that early. Gotta wake up. If she's got some kind of bad news for me definitely not a good time.
Who knows.
I won't sit here and dwell on the what if's, I will call her later and find out what's going on.
No great plans this weekend, just need to get some projects done that I have been putting off for quite a while. Stuff I have to get done in order to move - if that's even going to happen now. I dunno. Situation up in the air as far as I'm concerned.
Well whatever, bad time to start trying to write an entry, I think I'll try again later after I talk to her.
But this morning she hit me with a bomb: We need to talk.
About what? Us.
I don't even know. First thing Saturday morning, 7 am, sorry, I can't do that that early. Gotta wake up. If she's got some kind of bad news for me definitely not a good time.
Who knows.
I won't sit here and dwell on the what if's, I will call her later and find out what's going on.
No great plans this weekend, just need to get some projects done that I have been putting off for quite a while. Stuff I have to get done in order to move - if that's even going to happen now. I dunno. Situation up in the air as far as I'm concerned.
Well whatever, bad time to start trying to write an entry, I think I'll try again later after I talk to her.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Welcome to the land of iPhones. I am actually getting the hang of it much faster than I thought I would. There are some things I get hung up on but still, I can definitely use the thing.
Back to the Texas ranch.
12 year old boy acting like an ass today. Everyone getting on his case because of it. So I'm just getting home from church and hearing that he wants to talk to me. Okay. M'lady puts him on the Ipad and connects to FB message and here we go. But it was taking too long, put him on the phone with me, this is going to take forever doing it like this!
So on the phone for an hour. Yes, with a 12 year old boy. Telling me about all of his life's troubles and how people pick on him both at home and at school. I'm not necessarily that sympathetic, I was told long before that age to just deal with it......go get in their faces and beat the snot out of them. Yes, even coming from my mother. In other words, whining about it ain't gonna get you nowhere. But I was nice to him anyway. After 30 minutes of that he turned on facetime, a thing I didn't know iPhones had and now I was looking at his face. Lol.
That was today. That doesn't include interactions with the 16 year old - an almost daily occurrence and the 17 year old.
And of course, endless conversations with m'lady, lol on FB, texting and phone. : )
I got the time off, I am going over there after work on a Thursday last week of this month and staying until Monday, leaving on a late plane and yes, getting home late but I have to try to extract as much time out of the 3 days I am taking off there plus the 2 weekends days as i can. If I am trashed at work the next day, oh well, what else is new? As always, I want to see all of this atrocious behavior these boys exhibit, as has happened every time I have gone there, it probably won't happen.
Well whatever. This is pretty much life at the farm without actually being at the farm.
No, it isn't going to be all hell over there, that is a fact. The kid asked me today after the 2 or 3 months it takes to clean that house up - I pretty much told him and all the rest of them how it was going to be once I get there - could we ride dirt bikes? Well yes we can, but neither he nor I have one. That is, however, a situation I want to change. You cannot possibly have 36 acres of land and not have dirt bikes or quads or both to ride around on!
I also will want to rent a track hoe and dig the lower pond out to make it much larger than it is and rechannel the water so that the inlet is on one side and the outlet on the exact opposite side. But none of that takes precedence over the house. It needs work, a lot of it and those boys are going to spend the summer working hard and playing hard. Yes, work them then make sure they have play time as well. Of course, if this all works out, lol. We are engaged, we love each other - deeply; wedding proposed for June, I'm hoping to be out there in the next 2 months, but as always, the "best laid plans of men". Can go south. In a fast hurry. So nothing concrete, just going with the flow and one step at a time. No job, no move. Unless she thinks she can support me, lol, until I find one. But no, I really would like to have employment before I get out there.
Meanwhile, Mark and Lynnette are all good with running the house hold. I think Lynnette can deal with people, Mark can deal with issues. I'm going to give it a try and see what happens. It's not that I don't think they can run the house, it's the part about getting new tenants in when the need arises that concerns me. Probably the first person they need to see is Lynnette, not Mark for reasons I need not go into here.
Well, anyway, started this one on Sunday, now Monday morning. Thinking of calling the manager over there in Shreveport today or this week and asking a few more questions, mostly just to let him know I am very interested in the position and please don't give it up to anyone else. Though he didn't make it sound like they even had the position available yet.
Anyway, g'day.
ben
Back to the Texas ranch.
12 year old boy acting like an ass today. Everyone getting on his case because of it. So I'm just getting home from church and hearing that he wants to talk to me. Okay. M'lady puts him on the Ipad and connects to FB message and here we go. But it was taking too long, put him on the phone with me, this is going to take forever doing it like this!
So on the phone for an hour. Yes, with a 12 year old boy. Telling me about all of his life's troubles and how people pick on him both at home and at school. I'm not necessarily that sympathetic, I was told long before that age to just deal with it......go get in their faces and beat the snot out of them. Yes, even coming from my mother. In other words, whining about it ain't gonna get you nowhere. But I was nice to him anyway. After 30 minutes of that he turned on facetime, a thing I didn't know iPhones had and now I was looking at his face. Lol.
That was today. That doesn't include interactions with the 16 year old - an almost daily occurrence and the 17 year old.
And of course, endless conversations with m'lady, lol on FB, texting and phone. : )
I got the time off, I am going over there after work on a Thursday last week of this month and staying until Monday, leaving on a late plane and yes, getting home late but I have to try to extract as much time out of the 3 days I am taking off there plus the 2 weekends days as i can. If I am trashed at work the next day, oh well, what else is new? As always, I want to see all of this atrocious behavior these boys exhibit, as has happened every time I have gone there, it probably won't happen.
Well whatever. This is pretty much life at the farm without actually being at the farm.
No, it isn't going to be all hell over there, that is a fact. The kid asked me today after the 2 or 3 months it takes to clean that house up - I pretty much told him and all the rest of them how it was going to be once I get there - could we ride dirt bikes? Well yes we can, but neither he nor I have one. That is, however, a situation I want to change. You cannot possibly have 36 acres of land and not have dirt bikes or quads or both to ride around on!
I also will want to rent a track hoe and dig the lower pond out to make it much larger than it is and rechannel the water so that the inlet is on one side and the outlet on the exact opposite side. But none of that takes precedence over the house. It needs work, a lot of it and those boys are going to spend the summer working hard and playing hard. Yes, work them then make sure they have play time as well. Of course, if this all works out, lol. We are engaged, we love each other - deeply; wedding proposed for June, I'm hoping to be out there in the next 2 months, but as always, the "best laid plans of men". Can go south. In a fast hurry. So nothing concrete, just going with the flow and one step at a time. No job, no move. Unless she thinks she can support me, lol, until I find one. But no, I really would like to have employment before I get out there.
Meanwhile, Mark and Lynnette are all good with running the house hold. I think Lynnette can deal with people, Mark can deal with issues. I'm going to give it a try and see what happens. It's not that I don't think they can run the house, it's the part about getting new tenants in when the need arises that concerns me. Probably the first person they need to see is Lynnette, not Mark for reasons I need not go into here.
Well, anyway, started this one on Sunday, now Monday morning. Thinking of calling the manager over there in Shreveport today or this week and asking a few more questions, mostly just to let him know I am very interested in the position and please don't give it up to anyone else. Though he didn't make it sound like they even had the position available yet.
Anyway, g'day.
ben
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
So today I am driving the semi back to the yard. My company phone rings, I hate answering the phone in that truck when I'm driving because the hands free device they got for it is a piece of garbage. You can hardly understand anything anyone is saying, it is so garbled. Well I answer the phone before the computer thing tells me it's = answering it = and I hear this voice with a very distinct twang to it, Southern twang. I've lived in Texas and I've been all throughout the South.
Which didn't mean I knew who it was, I missed the first part of what he said cause of the computer voice but I heard his name is Matt. "You having any luck finding employment in Longview?". ??? No, I haven't even looked, I said, I am waiting to find out if I can find something with the company first. I would rather stay with Ferguson than to have to move onto something else. I'm thinking, who is this? But I'm taking the bait cause' he knew too much. Well is there anything with the Longview branch? Okay, gotta be a dude from my company, no, I replied they don't have anything from what I'm hearing.
"Well, we're definitely interested!" I'm putting the exclamation marks on there because this guy was really enthusiastic about getting another CDL driver and one that isn't afraid to work and whatever my management told him, it was already a done deal. We had a good conversation and I was all over it - but so was he. "Well, you are a CDL driver, right?". Yes, I am. "Well you can driver tractor-trailer rigs, right?" Yes, I can, lol. "Well okay, we get people in here that say they can and then we find out they can't". Well, I can drive just about anything, but if you want to ask my management I'm all good with that. "No, I believe you, lol, just that we've had so many that say the can and then turn out to be nothing". I'm talking to you from the cab of my truck, I've been driving the thing all day long in city traffic.
There is nothing else I need to write about today, though there certainly is more. I just have a hard time nowadays finding time to write in this journal and also everything else that is going on! But I am elated, if I get a job offer there, even if a long drive, I don't have to worry about getting over there now. I can deal with a long drive adding an hour and 45 minutes to my day or probably less since I tend to drive fast, just to get over there and if I find it too much, at least I am THERE, getting a paycheck with health care coverage and won't have to be pressed to find something.
G'nite.
ben
Which didn't mean I knew who it was, I missed the first part of what he said cause of the computer voice but I heard his name is Matt. "You having any luck finding employment in Longview?". ??? No, I haven't even looked, I said, I am waiting to find out if I can find something with the company first. I would rather stay with Ferguson than to have to move onto something else. I'm thinking, who is this? But I'm taking the bait cause' he knew too much. Well is there anything with the Longview branch? Okay, gotta be a dude from my company, no, I replied they don't have anything from what I'm hearing.
"Well, we're definitely interested!" I'm putting the exclamation marks on there because this guy was really enthusiastic about getting another CDL driver and one that isn't afraid to work and whatever my management told him, it was already a done deal. We had a good conversation and I was all over it - but so was he. "Well, you are a CDL driver, right?". Yes, I am. "Well you can driver tractor-trailer rigs, right?" Yes, I can, lol. "Well okay, we get people in here that say they can and then we find out they can't". Well, I can drive just about anything, but if you want to ask my management I'm all good with that. "No, I believe you, lol, just that we've had so many that say the can and then turn out to be nothing". I'm talking to you from the cab of my truck, I've been driving the thing all day long in city traffic.
There is nothing else I need to write about today, though there certainly is more. I just have a hard time nowadays finding time to write in this journal and also everything else that is going on! But I am elated, if I get a job offer there, even if a long drive, I don't have to worry about getting over there now. I can deal with a long drive adding an hour and 45 minutes to my day or probably less since I tend to drive fast, just to get over there and if I find it too much, at least I am THERE, getting a paycheck with health care coverage and won't have to be pressed to find something.
G'nite.
ben
Monday, February 24, 2014
So, as the situation with those older boys usually goes, more developments. The now moved-out 17 year old started talking to m'lady's ex and telling a bunch of s*** lies about what I was saying to him. The problem - well one of the problems with her ex anyways - is that he always believes his kids over her! I mean really? Then when he contacts her with the lies and she goes through all this rigamooroo trying to explain to him what the reality is versus their version of truth is, he always ends up apologizing. Well get a clue dude! Geeze!
Fortunately, I had already copied and pasted the entire conversation to her before he ever called she knew everything that was said so he could just simply put his stupidity down.
The boy texted his mom today demanding a ride to work - that after he sends me an elongated reply to my message to him about how he doesn't get along with his mom, doesn't like her and doesn't want to be around her. ?!!! Seriously. These kid's minds are SO screwed up! This all the doings of ex feeding their minds with the idea that mom is going into menopause so she is going to be wild and messed up for the next few years and that she doesn't cook and clean up after all of them and a lot of other stuff.
She refused to bow to it - I didn't even have to help her with that one - he is still yelling and cussing at her, it's ridiculous. He needs counselling, that's all i can say about it.
Meanwhile, looking for airfare for next trip out there. Pretty much $283 round trip to TYR from PHX. Leaving on a Tuesday after work and taking 3 days off. I'm kinda adamant that I keep at least 40 hours. I was going to only do 2 days but we are engaged now, I am going to take 3 days off plus weekend. Leave on the day before so it's 4 full days and the day I have to leave well not so much but oh well. I am hoping maybe I can just move out there long before we get married, she already found a decent place for me to live and my dogs can stay on her land and I will be over there every day after work so they will adapt.
____________________________
A couple of days since I started writing that one. The 17 year old never did reply to me, which isn't shocking so just letting that one go again - I hadn't spoken to him in quite some time, my replies to him are undoubtedly not things he wants to hear, so whatever. The 16 year old goofed up last night and after discussing it with him (via text messaging) I ended up coaching him on how to make the situation better. Asking for forgiveness is not always easy to do, perhaps it is never easy to do but some situations are more difficult than others. After he did what I suggested - without going into details here because I don't think it appropriate - everything really was quite better.
Regardless, it's Monday morning, almost time to leave for work. My plans to do much of anything are basically on hold until I hear back from work and find out whether they are going to be able to offer me position over there or not. I hope it doesn't take them too long to figure this out one way or the other. If not, I need to start figuring out the businesses over there that might have good benefits packages and start sending out applications. I've never really done anything like this before. I mean, once I just gave everything away and went to the mission field, but this is different. I don't have that much stuff so no biggies on that department but I do have to find a job and uprooting myself and attempting to make this happen, well, I'm just relying on God to help me make the next steps.
Anyway, off to work.
G'day.
ben
Fortunately, I had already copied and pasted the entire conversation to her before he ever called she knew everything that was said so he could just simply put his stupidity down.
The boy texted his mom today demanding a ride to work - that after he sends me an elongated reply to my message to him about how he doesn't get along with his mom, doesn't like her and doesn't want to be around her. ?!!! Seriously. These kid's minds are SO screwed up! This all the doings of ex feeding their minds with the idea that mom is going into menopause so she is going to be wild and messed up for the next few years and that she doesn't cook and clean up after all of them and a lot of other stuff.
She refused to bow to it - I didn't even have to help her with that one - he is still yelling and cussing at her, it's ridiculous. He needs counselling, that's all i can say about it.
Meanwhile, looking for airfare for next trip out there. Pretty much $283 round trip to TYR from PHX. Leaving on a Tuesday after work and taking 3 days off. I'm kinda adamant that I keep at least 40 hours. I was going to only do 2 days but we are engaged now, I am going to take 3 days off plus weekend. Leave on the day before so it's 4 full days and the day I have to leave well not so much but oh well. I am hoping maybe I can just move out there long before we get married, she already found a decent place for me to live and my dogs can stay on her land and I will be over there every day after work so they will adapt.
____________________________
A couple of days since I started writing that one. The 17 year old never did reply to me, which isn't shocking so just letting that one go again - I hadn't spoken to him in quite some time, my replies to him are undoubtedly not things he wants to hear, so whatever. The 16 year old goofed up last night and after discussing it with him (via text messaging) I ended up coaching him on how to make the situation better. Asking for forgiveness is not always easy to do, perhaps it is never easy to do but some situations are more difficult than others. After he did what I suggested - without going into details here because I don't think it appropriate - everything really was quite better.
Regardless, it's Monday morning, almost time to leave for work. My plans to do much of anything are basically on hold until I hear back from work and find out whether they are going to be able to offer me position over there or not. I hope it doesn't take them too long to figure this out one way or the other. If not, I need to start figuring out the businesses over there that might have good benefits packages and start sending out applications. I've never really done anything like this before. I mean, once I just gave everything away and went to the mission field, but this is different. I don't have that much stuff so no biggies on that department but I do have to find a job and uprooting myself and attempting to make this happen, well, I'm just relying on God to help me make the next steps.
Anyway, off to work.
G'day.
ben
Friday, February 21, 2014
Things moving right along.
I put in to my company a few weeks ago a request for a job transfer if one is available.
Apparently, the industrial branch in Longview is considering creating a position for me and the waterworks division in Shreveport is considering the same thing.
The Longview branch does not need a driver, however, so I would be stuck in a warehouse. Which I wouldn't mind so much, but there is talk of pay reduction. Have to see how much of a pay reduction it is before I can give an answer to that. I would far rather work at the Longview branch, though, the drive to Shreveport would be 50 minutes each way. A lot of driving just go get to and from work.
Anyway, that all just started happening yesterday first with an email from my GM to my manager about it, then a call from someone at our corporate headquarters and then a call from my GM. At least they are trying, I mean really trying. So that's cool.
And if you somehow thought there was any lapse with kid drama, well, you thought wrong. Latest flap was yesterday when the 17 year old - who moved out a month ago - came out of school with the 16 year old and decided that his mom was going to take him to her house so he could get some stuff and then she would take him to work. He doesn't live with her anymore, he lives with her dad. He wanted to leave because he basically hate her, yet here he is, deciding that she has to take him to work!
A fair amount of cussing and yelling ensued with the ensuing conversation between the two. One of the subjects that came up was about me. He won't text me anymore and this and that and the other thing. Yes, before he left I was texting him and trying to talk to the boy. But, he is full of anger and hate and it's kinda hard to talk to someone like that when you don't get any kind of breakthrough at all. But persisted anyway - until he left. He was calling her a bitch and a list of other names and a few other things happened so I just stopped texting him after he left.
I had to ask her when we were discussing this yesterday: If he wanted to talk to me so badly, why didn't he text me? It's not like he tried to text me and I refused to answer, nothing like that at all. I wouldn't do that to him - or much of anyone else for that matter. She replied he isn't like that and he wont do it. So I said fine, I will text the boy but I doubt he's going to like what I have to say. So I did. It was quite lengthy and it was about his anger issue. It was referring to the fact that even though he no longer lives with his mom, he is still acting out with her, yelling at her, cussing at her and what is with that, anyway? I sent it Facebook message so I would know if he read it. You know, you send a private message when a person sees it there is a message at the bottom with a check mark and it says "seen" and the time it was seen.
Because I figured he would not respond to it and no, he did not. M'lady wanted to know what I said to him, so I just copied and pasted the entire message to her - I really wanted to do that anyway so he could not come along and make accusations of what I didn't say they he would try to say that I did say or that he could try to claim I wouldn't contact him.
So that's that. Meanwhile, the 14 year old is getting worse and worse by the week, even by the day. Today, he is refusing to go to school. Well, call the school and let them know so it doesn't come back on you, is what I told m'lady.
_________________________
Another entry started - though this morning - just don't have time to finish.
ben
I put in to my company a few weeks ago a request for a job transfer if one is available.
Apparently, the industrial branch in Longview is considering creating a position for me and the waterworks division in Shreveport is considering the same thing.
The Longview branch does not need a driver, however, so I would be stuck in a warehouse. Which I wouldn't mind so much, but there is talk of pay reduction. Have to see how much of a pay reduction it is before I can give an answer to that. I would far rather work at the Longview branch, though, the drive to Shreveport would be 50 minutes each way. A lot of driving just go get to and from work.
Anyway, that all just started happening yesterday first with an email from my GM to my manager about it, then a call from someone at our corporate headquarters and then a call from my GM. At least they are trying, I mean really trying. So that's cool.
And if you somehow thought there was any lapse with kid drama, well, you thought wrong. Latest flap was yesterday when the 17 year old - who moved out a month ago - came out of school with the 16 year old and decided that his mom was going to take him to her house so he could get some stuff and then she would take him to work. He doesn't live with her anymore, he lives with her dad. He wanted to leave because he basically hate her, yet here he is, deciding that she has to take him to work!
A fair amount of cussing and yelling ensued with the ensuing conversation between the two. One of the subjects that came up was about me. He won't text me anymore and this and that and the other thing. Yes, before he left I was texting him and trying to talk to the boy. But, he is full of anger and hate and it's kinda hard to talk to someone like that when you don't get any kind of breakthrough at all. But persisted anyway - until he left. He was calling her a bitch and a list of other names and a few other things happened so I just stopped texting him after he left.
I had to ask her when we were discussing this yesterday: If he wanted to talk to me so badly, why didn't he text me? It's not like he tried to text me and I refused to answer, nothing like that at all. I wouldn't do that to him - or much of anyone else for that matter. She replied he isn't like that and he wont do it. So I said fine, I will text the boy but I doubt he's going to like what I have to say. So I did. It was quite lengthy and it was about his anger issue. It was referring to the fact that even though he no longer lives with his mom, he is still acting out with her, yelling at her, cussing at her and what is with that, anyway? I sent it Facebook message so I would know if he read it. You know, you send a private message when a person sees it there is a message at the bottom with a check mark and it says "seen" and the time it was seen.
Because I figured he would not respond to it and no, he did not. M'lady wanted to know what I said to him, so I just copied and pasted the entire message to her - I really wanted to do that anyway so he could not come along and make accusations of what I didn't say they he would try to say that I did say or that he could try to claim I wouldn't contact him.
So that's that. Meanwhile, the 14 year old is getting worse and worse by the week, even by the day. Today, he is refusing to go to school. Well, call the school and let them know so it doesn't come back on you, is what I told m'lady.
_________________________
Another entry started - though this morning - just don't have time to finish.
ben
Could have sworn I posted something since Friday, the last entry on here! Must be a saved draft, lol.
M'lady is in full love mode, lol. If it wasn't already before, it definitely is now!
We are longing for the day that I can move out there and let's get this going.
But, I need a job and income first. I don't want to move there and then try to find
a job - if possible anyway - I would rather have one secured before this happens.
In fact, it's really the next thing in line for me. Job job job.
Meanwhile at home. 16 year old has chilled quite a lot. Situation with the girl's parents has totally changed so now he gets to go see her or she comes to m'lady's house basically twice a week - Saturday and church on Wednesday. The boy was begging me to go to church with them tonight - yes I know I am not there yet but I give m'lady my opinion on things and she listens to that a lot and that boy has finally figured that out. Cause' I definitely do NOT side with him all the time. When he is acting like a bastard, he can go jump in an icy cold lake and I let him know that in no uncertain terms.
So I laid it on the line for him before I even spoke to her about it: You will have that girl over to your house on Saturday and you will have her go to your church on Wednesday and that is non-negotiable. Okay and totally! he replies. Okay then, but any attitude and I'm going to be pissed. You treat your mom nice and that's that. His reply was: "Okay:) thanks bro I love you!! " I cannot remember any 16 year old boy telling me he loves me excepting my own son. Of whom we say I love you to each other every time we speak. Life is short and can be gone so fast, I always tell my boy how much I love him and how proud I am of him for what he is doing with his life. I'm liking all this love stuff. From her mostly, lol, but still.
So today? She is telling me what her 12 year old boy did in the kitchen. According to her 10 year old boy, he whipped "it" out playing with it in front of him and then pee'd on the floor. That isn't just disgusting, that is reprehensible and a form of rebellion and definitely disrespect. I was in shock. "That boy needs a leather belt laid on his ass". That was my first thought. That was my second and third thought as well. She can't do it. I won't be able to, either even when we're married since not my adopted son. Of course, I COULD hold him down for her to do it! I'm serious. I will be out there hopefully at the end of next month. Not a 7 day visit, I just don't have the vacation hours available for it. But as much as I want to be with my babe I also want to have some discussion with the 14, 12 and 10 year old boys. I already talk to the 16 year old on a daily basis and though it's not the same as talking in person, our whole relationship has been through texting and Facebook messaging, so no biggies there.
I do have my work cut out for me and I do believe she believes that I will put an end to the s*** in the house. Yup, it will stop. But it may get really ugly at first. Cause' me? I do not tolerate rebellion from stupid kids that walk all over their mother because they know she can't do anything about it. It's the way they treat her that really pisses me off.
Well, anyway, work busy all 3 days this week and looking forward to a very busy day tomorrow and Friday as well. In fact, on Friday, I have to go back up to the store in the mountains with that dude keeps offering me food and then dissing me. This time I am just going to politely say no thank you. At this point, I will not take food from him even if he has it in his hand. He has crossed the line and I just don't want to go there. Thank you, but no thank you.
I did not have a chance to finish this one, posting it anyway.
M'lady is in full love mode, lol. If it wasn't already before, it definitely is now!
We are longing for the day that I can move out there and let's get this going.
But, I need a job and income first. I don't want to move there and then try to find
a job - if possible anyway - I would rather have one secured before this happens.
In fact, it's really the next thing in line for me. Job job job.
Meanwhile at home. 16 year old has chilled quite a lot. Situation with the girl's parents has totally changed so now he gets to go see her or she comes to m'lady's house basically twice a week - Saturday and church on Wednesday. The boy was begging me to go to church with them tonight - yes I know I am not there yet but I give m'lady my opinion on things and she listens to that a lot and that boy has finally figured that out. Cause' I definitely do NOT side with him all the time. When he is acting like a bastard, he can go jump in an icy cold lake and I let him know that in no uncertain terms.
So I laid it on the line for him before I even spoke to her about it: You will have that girl over to your house on Saturday and you will have her go to your church on Wednesday and that is non-negotiable. Okay and totally! he replies. Okay then, but any attitude and I'm going to be pissed. You treat your mom nice and that's that. His reply was: "Okay:) thanks bro I love you!! " I cannot remember any 16 year old boy telling me he loves me excepting my own son. Of whom we say I love you to each other every time we speak. Life is short and can be gone so fast, I always tell my boy how much I love him and how proud I am of him for what he is doing with his life. I'm liking all this love stuff. From her mostly, lol, but still.
So today? She is telling me what her 12 year old boy did in the kitchen. According to her 10 year old boy, he whipped "it" out playing with it in front of him and then pee'd on the floor. That isn't just disgusting, that is reprehensible and a form of rebellion and definitely disrespect. I was in shock. "That boy needs a leather belt laid on his ass". That was my first thought. That was my second and third thought as well. She can't do it. I won't be able to, either even when we're married since not my adopted son. Of course, I COULD hold him down for her to do it! I'm serious. I will be out there hopefully at the end of next month. Not a 7 day visit, I just don't have the vacation hours available for it. But as much as I want to be with my babe I also want to have some discussion with the 14, 12 and 10 year old boys. I already talk to the 16 year old on a daily basis and though it's not the same as talking in person, our whole relationship has been through texting and Facebook messaging, so no biggies there.
I do have my work cut out for me and I do believe she believes that I will put an end to the s*** in the house. Yup, it will stop. But it may get really ugly at first. Cause' me? I do not tolerate rebellion from stupid kids that walk all over their mother because they know she can't do anything about it. It's the way they treat her that really pisses me off.
Well, anyway, work busy all 3 days this week and looking forward to a very busy day tomorrow and Friday as well. In fact, on Friday, I have to go back up to the store in the mountains with that dude keeps offering me food and then dissing me. This time I am just going to politely say no thank you. At this point, I will not take food from him even if he has it in his hand. He has crossed the line and I just don't want to go there. Thank you, but no thank you.
I did not have a chance to finish this one, posting it anyway.
Friday, February 14, 2014
I was up in Globe/mountains on Wednesday.
Took a large, stainless steel valve to the dude that occasionally orders stuff from us. He's not loyal to any company, whoever gives him the best price - but - when it comes to finding the hard-to-find/acquire stuff, he comes to us every time.
This is a small town and small town atmosphere with everyone knowing everyone. Every time I go up there, I greet the man - he has a large store, big warehouse, really the only supplier of it's kind in that entire area and so he gets a lot of business, especially from the mines - every time if he is there and we always get into a conversation as if we are old friends that haven't seen or talked to each other for a long time.
Well, the tamale man shows up when I'm out in the parking lot talking to this dude. This guy is quite the character, the dude that owns the business, not the tamale man, for clarification. It is very difficult to describe his personality and his voice is off the wall. Anyway, he has the window to his car down talking to me, counting a large sum of cash - I am assuming for his store cash registers - and the tamale man says something to him. He tells him to get me a pack of tamales as well. I said no, that's okay. He's like, no, no, Ben! I'm going to get you one! Well okay. I was reluctant because he has told me this before about food and it never materializes.
I would rather he not offer something than to offer and then reneg/forget/ space it out/whatever, makes for hard feelings after it happens several times. Well he gets out of the car and continues on with it. Okay, I love tamales, thank you! But the tamale man disappeared inside the store with them. Well, off to my pickup I went and waited - and waited - and waited - for one of the forklift operators to actually have his permission to unload the truck - even after he had already seen the valve and said okay. It's just the way things work up there, I have gotten used to it. Paid by the hour, I think, no biggies.
Finally, half an hour later, the guy disappears into the building, finds out about the valve and comes out and unloads it. I take the paperwork inside. Owner is standing there talking to whoever but finishing up. I wait until he's done. Hand him paperwork to sign including the electronic gadget like UPS has to sign. He says nothing about the tamales. This time, I'm going to test him. Why say such things and then just give you the birdie. That's how it feels to me, anyway, when people say things like that and then blow you off. Hey, can I get the tamales? He's signing my paperwork, a foot away from me, talking to no-one, definitely heard what I said. He looks up at me and completely ignores me.
Pissed. I did not ask, hint or even want his f****** food. I am not broke, I can buy my OWN damned food. Why the h*** do people toy with other people like that? Because they know they can, know that I can't say anything to him or else get into trouble with my company? Dick. Okay! I know not Christian talk but I get mad sometimes, what can I say. I just said thanks and turned around and left.
Well I ended up having to drive downtown after that and do an emergency run for pipe and deliver it out to a jobsite in the far east valley. The salesman pulls up and asks how it went? Shit! What is WITH that buddy of yours? and tell him the whole story. I see him the next day, he comes pulling up. Yeah, I talked him, he said he totally forgot and said he was sorry. WTF? Dude, he was standing RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME! But what is it worth getting pissed about I started thinking, next time he offers me anything, he can just keep it. Salesman said yeah, he checked yesterday after everyone had gone home and there were stll 2 dozen tamales there. I just looked the salesman in the eye and said you know, next time I go up there, if he offers me food? I'll just politely tell him no thanks. If he insists, I will insist that I don't want it.
Whatever. I don't CARE about the food, it's the mind games and the toying with people that pisses me off. God knows my thought when I went up there is that I would stop at the Burger House in Miami and buy my OWN food with my OWN money. That was my thought long before I got there.
I hope it's a while before I have to go back up there, cool down a bit and just let it pass. This is the 3rd time this guy has done this, this is why I am getting upset about it. I'm not some kind of damn moocher going around with a work for food sign and I don't go around hinting at getting freebies. I would rather NOT live like that and I DON'T!!!!!
Yup, an area in my life I need to work on, I'l give anyone that much. Just let it ride, right? Some things easier to do than others. Probably the Lord throwing this stuff at me to learn how to deal with it. Okay.
Onto other things. The water leak. I was sitting outside in this beautiful weather on Wednesday, hearing a noise but giving it no thought. Dull hissing noise. Faint. Was sitting there quite a while just thinking about things with that sound - but it was so faint, like it was coming from a neighbor's property. But after 30 or more minutes of hearing it, I finally started to hone in on it and tune into it. What IS that and where is it coming from?
I'm looking at my house, that is where the sound is coming from! Get up, walk over and see the block underneath wet and hissing sound much louder now, obviously I have a water leak under there. gag. Too late in the day, I figured to get under there Thursday and find otu what's going on. Gag again, yesterday. Crawl under there and find a lake and a LOT of mud. How long has this been going on? It is a copper fitting - it is flexible so it can be adjusted to make a 90 or 45 turn and get to the plastic pipe that it attaches to. It had been banging up against the side of the house for who knows how long and there was a small hole - but that small hole under pressure? A lot of water. I cut the thing off - it's copper - get out of there covered in mud, head to my company's store and get a replacement.
Back to mud. Could NOT get all the water out of the lines. The copper would not heat up enough to sweat the joint. I was under there literally for hours. I finally gave up after sun was going down - got it sealed enough to have a leak but NOTHING like it was with that hole.
Fast forward to today and abbreviating because it is WAY past my bedtime. I had Mark shut the water over 3 hours before I got home from work. I got under there with my new fitting, saw no water coming out of the line, stuffed some bread up in there and then, in less than a minute, had that thing hot enough to sweat the joint and that was the end of it: perfect job, no leaks, thank you very much. Oh yes, thank you.
Lengthy discussions with both m'lady and 16 year old tonight. Can't go into that because would take WAY too long and I would just rather discuss tomorrow or whenever's prudent.
G'nite folks.
ben
Took a large, stainless steel valve to the dude that occasionally orders stuff from us. He's not loyal to any company, whoever gives him the best price - but - when it comes to finding the hard-to-find/acquire stuff, he comes to us every time.
This is a small town and small town atmosphere with everyone knowing everyone. Every time I go up there, I greet the man - he has a large store, big warehouse, really the only supplier of it's kind in that entire area and so he gets a lot of business, especially from the mines - every time if he is there and we always get into a conversation as if we are old friends that haven't seen or talked to each other for a long time.
Well, the tamale man shows up when I'm out in the parking lot talking to this dude. This guy is quite the character, the dude that owns the business, not the tamale man, for clarification. It is very difficult to describe his personality and his voice is off the wall. Anyway, he has the window to his car down talking to me, counting a large sum of cash - I am assuming for his store cash registers - and the tamale man says something to him. He tells him to get me a pack of tamales as well. I said no, that's okay. He's like, no, no, Ben! I'm going to get you one! Well okay. I was reluctant because he has told me this before about food and it never materializes.
I would rather he not offer something than to offer and then reneg/forget/ space it out/whatever, makes for hard feelings after it happens several times. Well he gets out of the car and continues on with it. Okay, I love tamales, thank you! But the tamale man disappeared inside the store with them. Well, off to my pickup I went and waited - and waited - and waited - for one of the forklift operators to actually have his permission to unload the truck - even after he had already seen the valve and said okay. It's just the way things work up there, I have gotten used to it. Paid by the hour, I think, no biggies.
Finally, half an hour later, the guy disappears into the building, finds out about the valve and comes out and unloads it. I take the paperwork inside. Owner is standing there talking to whoever but finishing up. I wait until he's done. Hand him paperwork to sign including the electronic gadget like UPS has to sign. He says nothing about the tamales. This time, I'm going to test him. Why say such things and then just give you the birdie. That's how it feels to me, anyway, when people say things like that and then blow you off. Hey, can I get the tamales? He's signing my paperwork, a foot away from me, talking to no-one, definitely heard what I said. He looks up at me and completely ignores me.
Pissed. I did not ask, hint or even want his f****** food. I am not broke, I can buy my OWN damned food. Why the h*** do people toy with other people like that? Because they know they can, know that I can't say anything to him or else get into trouble with my company? Dick. Okay! I know not Christian talk but I get mad sometimes, what can I say. I just said thanks and turned around and left.
Well I ended up having to drive downtown after that and do an emergency run for pipe and deliver it out to a jobsite in the far east valley. The salesman pulls up and asks how it went? Shit! What is WITH that buddy of yours? and tell him the whole story. I see him the next day, he comes pulling up. Yeah, I talked him, he said he totally forgot and said he was sorry. WTF? Dude, he was standing RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME! But what is it worth getting pissed about I started thinking, next time he offers me anything, he can just keep it. Salesman said yeah, he checked yesterday after everyone had gone home and there were stll 2 dozen tamales there. I just looked the salesman in the eye and said you know, next time I go up there, if he offers me food? I'll just politely tell him no thanks. If he insists, I will insist that I don't want it.
Whatever. I don't CARE about the food, it's the mind games and the toying with people that pisses me off. God knows my thought when I went up there is that I would stop at the Burger House in Miami and buy my OWN food with my OWN money. That was my thought long before I got there.
I hope it's a while before I have to go back up there, cool down a bit and just let it pass. This is the 3rd time this guy has done this, this is why I am getting upset about it. I'm not some kind of damn moocher going around with a work for food sign and I don't go around hinting at getting freebies. I would rather NOT live like that and I DON'T!!!!!
Yup, an area in my life I need to work on, I'l give anyone that much. Just let it ride, right? Some things easier to do than others. Probably the Lord throwing this stuff at me to learn how to deal with it. Okay.
Onto other things. The water leak. I was sitting outside in this beautiful weather on Wednesday, hearing a noise but giving it no thought. Dull hissing noise. Faint. Was sitting there quite a while just thinking about things with that sound - but it was so faint, like it was coming from a neighbor's property. But after 30 or more minutes of hearing it, I finally started to hone in on it and tune into it. What IS that and where is it coming from?
I'm looking at my house, that is where the sound is coming from! Get up, walk over and see the block underneath wet and hissing sound much louder now, obviously I have a water leak under there. gag. Too late in the day, I figured to get under there Thursday and find otu what's going on. Gag again, yesterday. Crawl under there and find a lake and a LOT of mud. How long has this been going on? It is a copper fitting - it is flexible so it can be adjusted to make a 90 or 45 turn and get to the plastic pipe that it attaches to. It had been banging up against the side of the house for who knows how long and there was a small hole - but that small hole under pressure? A lot of water. I cut the thing off - it's copper - get out of there covered in mud, head to my company's store and get a replacement.
Back to mud. Could NOT get all the water out of the lines. The copper would not heat up enough to sweat the joint. I was under there literally for hours. I finally gave up after sun was going down - got it sealed enough to have a leak but NOTHING like it was with that hole.
Fast forward to today and abbreviating because it is WAY past my bedtime. I had Mark shut the water over 3 hours before I got home from work. I got under there with my new fitting, saw no water coming out of the line, stuffed some bread up in there and then, in less than a minute, had that thing hot enough to sweat the joint and that was the end of it: perfect job, no leaks, thank you very much. Oh yes, thank you.
Lengthy discussions with both m'lady and 16 year old tonight. Can't go into that because would take WAY too long and I would just rather discuss tomorrow or whenever's prudent.
G'nite folks.
ben
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
So.
Well.
Okay.
Huh.
Nothing bad.
Lol.
Still just stand in awe of the Lord.
This is concerning the situation with the 16 year old. The day after I proposed marriage to m'lady and she said yes, this thing come over me. You need to write to that lady. Not my lady, the mother of the girl that the 16 year old is in "love" with.
I knew what I would write so....I fought it. I didn't think she would receive it. Why bother. But I finally gave into this compulsion - I couldn't get past it - and wrote a rather lengthy message to that woman. I had sent her a friend request which she had accepted and then she wrote me a nice birthday note on my Faceboook wall. I said thanks and then asked if it would be okay to discuss a situation with her - didn't want to go into that in detail on my wall for obvious and numerous reasons.
If you really want to know, the "message" when printed out completely fills two full pages of type to the very end. It covered the gamut. Some of it was very confrontational, such as: "You didn't really tell a 16 year old boy that his mom just needs to get laid, did you?". Yes she did say that to him, unfathomable speech in my view to be speaking to a teenager who isn't even your own kid - which wouldn't make it acceptable to say such things either.
I sent that message with the statement that reconciliation between the two parents and some level of forgiveness would have to ensue if this relationship between that boy and that girl were to ensue.
I heard nothing back. Until today. But she did not contact me. Instead, she contacted m'lady and asked for forgiveness and apologizing for being an idiot and letting those two talk her into doing things she should have never allowed (she called herself an idiot, I did not do that). After ALL of this nonsense that has been going on with that boy and wanting to move out so he could have unlimited access to that girl - that girl's mom coming to pick him up at m'lady's ex's house in total defiance of m'lady's desires (she has full custody, dad only has visiting rights) - and all the rest of it, the entire situation has suddenly changed.
Boy knew nothing about this today, either. That girl's mom laid down the law with her girl and told m'lady that if her son crosses the line, he cannot see her girl anymore. Same statement made to the girl. To me? This is totally awesome! This ends this s*** with this kid getting into his mom's face demanding he be allowed to kiss this girl (she just turned 14 a few days ago). This just changes this thing so much, 180 degrees, that games that boy has been playing will be of absolutely ZERO use at this point: I read the note that lady sent to my lady and it was perfect as long as she intends on following through with it.
Well. Boy will find out from girl tonight - probably already - if from no-one else. Should be interesting to see what kind of attitude he will have now. He gets in his mom's face and all that, is he also going to get in his girlfriend's mom's face and start all that s*** with her, too? He can't play his dad in this, he can't play those people, yes, this should get very interesting considering all the crap he's started. Not that I am going to shove it in his face - not at all - hopefully this will be a learning experience in a good way for him.
Oh, I put in for Elk hunt yesterday before last night's deadline. Even if I'm living in Texas by then, I could still come back for a hunt and maybe bag one. Give me a chance to visit with my mom after the marriage - provided that has happened by then.
I also put in to the General Manager to please see if he can find me something out there. I dunno how long that will take or if there will be anything, but I am hoping and praying cause' it would be great to just do a transfer intra-company and have my same wages and benefits going instead of starting all over again from scratch.
....and time to start looking for the next visit out there. Gonna have to be shortened unfortunately but that's the way it is. Looking for the end of March.
ben
Well.
Okay.
Huh.
Nothing bad.
Lol.
Still just stand in awe of the Lord.
This is concerning the situation with the 16 year old. The day after I proposed marriage to m'lady and she said yes, this thing come over me. You need to write to that lady. Not my lady, the mother of the girl that the 16 year old is in "love" with.
I knew what I would write so....I fought it. I didn't think she would receive it. Why bother. But I finally gave into this compulsion - I couldn't get past it - and wrote a rather lengthy message to that woman. I had sent her a friend request which she had accepted and then she wrote me a nice birthday note on my Faceboook wall. I said thanks and then asked if it would be okay to discuss a situation with her - didn't want to go into that in detail on my wall for obvious and numerous reasons.
If you really want to know, the "message" when printed out completely fills two full pages of type to the very end. It covered the gamut. Some of it was very confrontational, such as: "You didn't really tell a 16 year old boy that his mom just needs to get laid, did you?". Yes she did say that to him, unfathomable speech in my view to be speaking to a teenager who isn't even your own kid - which wouldn't make it acceptable to say such things either.
I sent that message with the statement that reconciliation between the two parents and some level of forgiveness would have to ensue if this relationship between that boy and that girl were to ensue.
I heard nothing back. Until today. But she did not contact me. Instead, she contacted m'lady and asked for forgiveness and apologizing for being an idiot and letting those two talk her into doing things she should have never allowed (she called herself an idiot, I did not do that). After ALL of this nonsense that has been going on with that boy and wanting to move out so he could have unlimited access to that girl - that girl's mom coming to pick him up at m'lady's ex's house in total defiance of m'lady's desires (she has full custody, dad only has visiting rights) - and all the rest of it, the entire situation has suddenly changed.
Boy knew nothing about this today, either. That girl's mom laid down the law with her girl and told m'lady that if her son crosses the line, he cannot see her girl anymore. Same statement made to the girl. To me? This is totally awesome! This ends this s*** with this kid getting into his mom's face demanding he be allowed to kiss this girl (she just turned 14 a few days ago). This just changes this thing so much, 180 degrees, that games that boy has been playing will be of absolutely ZERO use at this point: I read the note that lady sent to my lady and it was perfect as long as she intends on following through with it.
Well. Boy will find out from girl tonight - probably already - if from no-one else. Should be interesting to see what kind of attitude he will have now. He gets in his mom's face and all that, is he also going to get in his girlfriend's mom's face and start all that s*** with her, too? He can't play his dad in this, he can't play those people, yes, this should get very interesting considering all the crap he's started. Not that I am going to shove it in his face - not at all - hopefully this will be a learning experience in a good way for him.
Oh, I put in for Elk hunt yesterday before last night's deadline. Even if I'm living in Texas by then, I could still come back for a hunt and maybe bag one. Give me a chance to visit with my mom after the marriage - provided that has happened by then.
I also put in to the General Manager to please see if he can find me something out there. I dunno how long that will take or if there will be anything, but I am hoping and praying cause' it would be great to just do a transfer intra-company and have my same wages and benefits going instead of starting all over again from scratch.
....and time to start looking for the next visit out there. Gonna have to be shortened unfortunately but that's the way it is. Looking for the end of March.
ben
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Time to start trying to figure things out. How, exactly, is this going to work?
I have no idea. Some of this I must put in the hands of the good Lord and pray and believe that He will work it out.
Meanwhile, a tenant moved out, quite unexpectedly, last night but paid up his rent until almost halfway through next month.
Strange, to say the least.
Most people that are going to do that - leave without notice - just do it and wait until I am gone to work and are gone by the time I get home.
I am undecided about re-renting the room. Seems some objection to having all 4 rooms rented out. The money is nice but not at the expense of losing people.
Meanwhile, m'lady finally made it home. They had to de-ice the planes last night and that caused quite a backlog of aircraft sitting in Dallas waiting for the deicing agent to be applied so the aircraft can take off. Meaning she got to Tyler way late and her ride was sitting out there for quite a long time waiting for the arrival of the plane. The 16 year is going to dump a landmine on her today, I am guessing, in telling her his dad got a lawyer and going to go to court to get him out of the house.
But I prepared her for it in advance so it doesn't take her by surprise. She knows the gist of what he is going to say and so at least she won't be shocked by it. The boy wants total freedom to do whatever he wants and if he ends up at his dad's house, that is exactly what he'll get. Dad doesn't care what he does, number one, including having sex, and number 2, dad works 12 hour shifts alternating between day and night shift. So he's gone for 12 hours at a time plus drive time to and from work plus the 15 minute handoff at work between the shifts making it over 13 hours of total, complete freedom for boys to do whatever they please, whenever they please to do it.
In my mind, that is a recipe for disaster. But whatever. She is going to fight it. For the sake of that child, she is going to fight it. In the end, who knows what will happen, Texas has much different laws about that stuff than what goes on here in Arizona. A 16 year old could not just leave to go to another parent's house here after a divorce decree and everything has already been worked out. I mean, the other parent could go back to court, but unlikely a judge would yield unless abuse or something like that going on. Whatever the case, the boy was perfectly fine to wait until Valentine's Day to see his new girlfriend, but since she left, he has done a complete about-face on it. This is all the ex's doings. He has no friends and is replacing people his age for friends with his children. Not to mention he would like to get some of the child support lowered, but that probably won't happen either, or if it does, it will only go down $100 per month.
Anyway, time to be off to work.
ben
I have no idea. Some of this I must put in the hands of the good Lord and pray and believe that He will work it out.
Meanwhile, a tenant moved out, quite unexpectedly, last night but paid up his rent until almost halfway through next month.
Strange, to say the least.
Most people that are going to do that - leave without notice - just do it and wait until I am gone to work and are gone by the time I get home.
I am undecided about re-renting the room. Seems some objection to having all 4 rooms rented out. The money is nice but not at the expense of losing people.
Meanwhile, m'lady finally made it home. They had to de-ice the planes last night and that caused quite a backlog of aircraft sitting in Dallas waiting for the deicing agent to be applied so the aircraft can take off. Meaning she got to Tyler way late and her ride was sitting out there for quite a long time waiting for the arrival of the plane. The 16 year is going to dump a landmine on her today, I am guessing, in telling her his dad got a lawyer and going to go to court to get him out of the house.
But I prepared her for it in advance so it doesn't take her by surprise. She knows the gist of what he is going to say and so at least she won't be shocked by it. The boy wants total freedom to do whatever he wants and if he ends up at his dad's house, that is exactly what he'll get. Dad doesn't care what he does, number one, including having sex, and number 2, dad works 12 hour shifts alternating between day and night shift. So he's gone for 12 hours at a time plus drive time to and from work plus the 15 minute handoff at work between the shifts making it over 13 hours of total, complete freedom for boys to do whatever they please, whenever they please to do it.
In my mind, that is a recipe for disaster. But whatever. She is going to fight it. For the sake of that child, she is going to fight it. In the end, who knows what will happen, Texas has much different laws about that stuff than what goes on here in Arizona. A 16 year old could not just leave to go to another parent's house here after a divorce decree and everything has already been worked out. I mean, the other parent could go back to court, but unlikely a judge would yield unless abuse or something like that going on. Whatever the case, the boy was perfectly fine to wait until Valentine's Day to see his new girlfriend, but since she left, he has done a complete about-face on it. This is all the ex's doings. He has no friends and is replacing people his age for friends with his children. Not to mention he would like to get some of the child support lowered, but that probably won't happen either, or if it does, it will only go down $100 per month.
Anyway, time to be off to work.
ben
Monday, February 10, 2014
So, I go and get my lady and take her to the airport. We plop down in seats right in front of the security checkpoint. There were no other people sitting in those seats, which were rows of them. We talked our last moments together, hugged, kissed passionately and then I just sat there and watched her taking her back pack thing and going to the desk, getting out her boarding pass and then, after putting everything away, turned around and waved at me one last time. I continued to sit there for a couple of minutes, but finally got up and - then suddenly became aware of eyes on me. My God, all of those seats were full and we were sitting there in the front, kissing away, lol, oblivious to everything going on around us!
I just smiled, turned around and walked off.
Lots to think about. Ponder. Plan. Attempt to try and understand. Is this really going to work out? Between her and I, yes. With her kids and us? I dunno. With the situations going on with older kids that hate this idea and blame their mom for everything negative that goes on in their life: no. When I say older kids, I mean 20, 19, 17 and 16. 16 believes he is going to have the upper hand and with the help of a lawyer, he will be able to leave and go live with his dad. I cannot possibly predict the future or what a judge will ultimately say, but with the junk that she has against the ex? Even in writing? I will simply say 70-30 odds, maybe 60-40 odds that it doesn't go his way. And she is not going to just let him go.
So who knows.
Meanwhile the home front. Warring neighbors got a pitbull and some other mixed breed. It has already torn down 2 slats on that portion of wood fence trying to get at my dogs. I just cannot believe the extremes those people will go to to make life difficult. I WILL shoot that dog if it gets into my backyard and attacks either any of us or my dogs, that's a fact. Police can do what they please, I doubt a jury of my peers is going to throw me in prison for defending either humans or animals on my property from a crazed animal that has actually busted through a fence.
Well just got done with long texting conversation with m'lady. I can text realllll fast online using Google voice and typing with a regular sized keyboard instead of one of those little cell phone keyboards. She is currently on a small plane going from Dallas to Tyler. They had to de-ice the plane - it's pretty cold there right now. But, she was hitting the runway and me? WAY past my bedtime!
ben
I just smiled, turned around and walked off.
Lots to think about. Ponder. Plan. Attempt to try and understand. Is this really going to work out? Between her and I, yes. With her kids and us? I dunno. With the situations going on with older kids that hate this idea and blame their mom for everything negative that goes on in their life: no. When I say older kids, I mean 20, 19, 17 and 16. 16 believes he is going to have the upper hand and with the help of a lawyer, he will be able to leave and go live with his dad. I cannot possibly predict the future or what a judge will ultimately say, but with the junk that she has against the ex? Even in writing? I will simply say 70-30 odds, maybe 60-40 odds that it doesn't go his way. And she is not going to just let him go.
So who knows.
Meanwhile the home front. Warring neighbors got a pitbull and some other mixed breed. It has already torn down 2 slats on that portion of wood fence trying to get at my dogs. I just cannot believe the extremes those people will go to to make life difficult. I WILL shoot that dog if it gets into my backyard and attacks either any of us or my dogs, that's a fact. Police can do what they please, I doubt a jury of my peers is going to throw me in prison for defending either humans or animals on my property from a crazed animal that has actually busted through a fence.
Well just got done with long texting conversation with m'lady. I can text realllll fast online using Google voice and typing with a regular sized keyboard instead of one of those little cell phone keyboards. She is currently on a small plane going from Dallas to Tyler. They had to de-ice the plane - it's pretty cold there right now. But, she was hitting the runway and me? WAY past my bedtime!
ben
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Well, her visit is nearly over. I have to go to work tomorrow, what I didn't realize or possible didn't remember I guess is that she isn't leaving on the airplane until 4:50 pm. Meaning she'll be sitting around all day. But I had only wanted to take 2 days off for this visit and this due to shrinking amount of available vacation hours. Hey, if I could translate like Peter I think it was did in the Bible, I would be all over that! Just poof and you're there! I could go visit everyday!
Well anyway. I'm going to take 2 days off on next trip plus a weekend. I found a flight that leaves right after work on a Wednesday and gets me there late Wednesday night. Meaning get there, get to her store and sleep, then have 3 full days to visit and one half day. It's the best I can do. I simply refuse to let my available vacation hours go below 40. What am I going to do this summer when it's time to get married or when I need the time to move out there?
So that's the way it is going to have to be.
Meanwhile, the now 16 year old has been avoiding me. Not normal for him, so I began texting him today - what's going on? No reply. Again. No reply. I know he's getting my messages. So the third text was: well, I'm just going to keep bugging you until you say something to me. I get a text back: " " I got into a short conversation with him about that, basically is this something HE wants or something someone ELSE is telling he has to do? Cause in reality, mom has full custody of him, no-one can force him not to talk to me except his mother. He tells me he can't say, I'm sorry. A few more sentences and I was done. Later on, however, it dawned on me: he must have been advised, not assigned, to not talk to me.
So, his dad went out, got the lawyer and is going to attempt to get custody of him in court. Thing is? Dad gave him up! Didn't want any of those kids. Mom isn't going to just let him go without a fight, because we know what's going to happen over there. Dad works 12 hour shifts, alternating between night and day shifts. There is no-one there to stop them from doing whatever the bleep they please including screwing girls and whatever else comes to mind with the current generation. The boy talks to mom today: mom, we have some serious stuff to talk about when you get home. Yup, I already know: dad's hired a lawyer.
She's continuing to get dragged down by all of this. We prayed together today, spend some time before the Lord. I trust God to have His way in all of this. Who knows who will win in a court battle, but I give it far greater odds that she will win over him, the ex that is, because of the situation the ex has create with all of this in not wanting his own kids.
But whatever. I can only pray from here. I texted the boy back again a few hours later after realizing what was going on, but he is not budging. Which is okay- to a point. Mom will talk to him when she gets home. The 19 year old daughter called her today and they had what sounded like a pleasant conversation. I dunno. I try not to read too much into there things, but sometimes I am guilty. With this one though, she is out of the house, the only reason she would have false pretenses in calling is to try and dig for information for whatever purpose. Well have at it.
Regardless, it is my bedtime and I am going to bed.
G'nite.
ben
Well anyway. I'm going to take 2 days off on next trip plus a weekend. I found a flight that leaves right after work on a Wednesday and gets me there late Wednesday night. Meaning get there, get to her store and sleep, then have 3 full days to visit and one half day. It's the best I can do. I simply refuse to let my available vacation hours go below 40. What am I going to do this summer when it's time to get married or when I need the time to move out there?
So that's the way it is going to have to be.
Meanwhile, the now 16 year old has been avoiding me. Not normal for him, so I began texting him today - what's going on? No reply. Again. No reply. I know he's getting my messages. So the third text was: well, I'm just going to keep bugging you until you say something to me. I get a text back: " " I got into a short conversation with him about that, basically is this something HE wants or something someone ELSE is telling he has to do? Cause in reality, mom has full custody of him, no-one can force him not to talk to me except his mother. He tells me he can't say, I'm sorry. A few more sentences and I was done. Later on, however, it dawned on me: he must have been advised, not assigned, to not talk to me.
So, his dad went out, got the lawyer and is going to attempt to get custody of him in court. Thing is? Dad gave him up! Didn't want any of those kids. Mom isn't going to just let him go without a fight, because we know what's going to happen over there. Dad works 12 hour shifts, alternating between night and day shifts. There is no-one there to stop them from doing whatever the bleep they please including screwing girls and whatever else comes to mind with the current generation. The boy talks to mom today: mom, we have some serious stuff to talk about when you get home. Yup, I already know: dad's hired a lawyer.
She's continuing to get dragged down by all of this. We prayed together today, spend some time before the Lord. I trust God to have His way in all of this. Who knows who will win in a court battle, but I give it far greater odds that she will win over him, the ex that is, because of the situation the ex has create with all of this in not wanting his own kids.
But whatever. I can only pray from here. I texted the boy back again a few hours later after realizing what was going on, but he is not budging. Which is okay- to a point. Mom will talk to him when she gets home. The 19 year old daughter called her today and they had what sounded like a pleasant conversation. I dunno. I try not to read too much into there things, but sometimes I am guilty. With this one though, she is out of the house, the only reason she would have false pretenses in calling is to try and dig for information for whatever purpose. Well have at it.
Regardless, it is my bedtime and I am going to bed.
G'nite.
ben
Saturday, February 8, 2014
The neighbors - pieces of work - that live behind me have suddenly acquired 2 dogs. They deposited those dogs onto the property that does not have a house on it. Unbeknownst to me until an hour ago, one of them is a pitbull. The other thing I did not know until an hour ago is that that dog actually busted it's head through 2 of the wood planks on my fence, head sticking through barking at my dogs and trying to get at them.
Mark tells me this nonchalantly as if it were nothing. WTFreak? Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you call the police? He's like, well I didn't want to bother you. ??? I'm like dude, what if that dog had gotten through the fence? What is going to stop it from eventually carrying out it's mission? Call the police! It's a pitbull and it's also destruction of my property and a vicious dog! I do NOT like Pitbulls, they have a reputation for a good reason and I can tell you right now, if I had been here when that happened? I would bashed that dog over the head with a club!
I was not so slightly irritated that his answer to the situation was - basically nothing. Just fix the damage and that's that. How does this address the problem? This does not bode well, in my thinking, for not selling off this house even if it has to be a short sale versus leaving them in charge. If they can't deal with something that simple, I will need to rethink all of this. Gonna have to have a serious sit down and talk cause' I will short sale this house before I leave it in the hands of people that are incapable of dealing with the crap that occurs in this neighborhood.
Meanwhile...spent the entire day with m'lady - of course. We went and had a coffee and frittata at a local coffee shop.
But on the way there? I pull up to a stop light and I notice a truck come cranking over several lanes behind me and the driver of the vehicle throwing his hands up in the air, apparently agitated about something? But I did not cut this truck off, I have NO clue. I pull into the driveway of the strip mall with the coffee shop, this guy goes down the side road and then sees me from a driveway that goes to that street, pulls in there, gets out of his truck and throws his hands up in the air again?!! I'm like, call 911 and get my gun ready? What is the deal with this person. He gets up to my car and I look at him and finally recognize him - a high school buddy that I used to hang out with ALL the time! Hadn't seen him in what? 31 years? Talked for a while and then got to moving.
After the coffee shop, onto one of today's agendas: she has been wanting to buy me a pair of cowboy boots. Went to the Boot Barn and checked out all the boots there in my size, nothing struck either one of us so the salesman advised us to go to Sheplers. Why is this salesman advising us to go to a competitor? He must not make a commission off the sales of boots, apparently. So, off to Sheplers, which the pastor's wife had recommended we go to anyway. After looking at and trying on several pairs of boots, I was down to 2 pair. But after looking at the price tag of one pair, I said, uhhh, no, that's WAY too expensive! She didn't care and thought they looked better on me than the other pair I was looking at.
Wow, and nice! Thank you baby!
We got out to the car and realized it was still too early to go to my mom's place so we went to a place called the Container Store instead. There isn't one in the area she lives in so we walked around and looked at - everything - in the entire store. After that I called mom, she said okay, we headed over there. Spent over 4 hours visiting with her - she is a good cook and makes the best food - and then headed out yet again after a very good visit.
She wanted to see if she could find the house she lived in when she lived here, in the Phoenix area, decades ago. We kinda went around in circles but found the place she thought it was. After that, I figured to take her to the Cheesecake Factory - she alluded to the idea of going there before she even got here so I decided to surprise her with it.
Came back to my house, hung out watching a movie for a couple of hours, talking the entire day about everything under the sun and then took her back to the pastor's house for the night.
Good day with her. Tomorrow last full day with her. She leaves Monday at 5 pm on a flight back, but I have to work. I will take her to the airport after I get off of work, but I cannot take another day off. I continue to tell her that I cannot just keep taking alot of time off, there will be nothing left and I will have nothing left to deal with that's coming up later on this year: Marriage and moving out to Texas. She wants me to come out there or her come to me every month, but this simply isn't realistic. So I told her the next trip I would be taking 2 days off and then add weekend to it and that would be it.
She was obviously not liking that idea but that is all that I can do. Her coming out her doesn't change the fact that I have to take time off work to spend it with her. It's only February and I am down to 57 hours left of vacation time. If I were to go out there next month and take 2 days off, add another 10 hours since I get 10 hours added every month, back up to 67 hours but take off 16 hours for 2 days off and now I am down to 51 hours. So unfortunately, it is going to have to have a couple month lapse in visits. I just can't keep using up all my vacation time and have nothing left by the middle of summer. I do have 3 floating holidays and 3 personal days I can take, but that has to be saved for the move out there.
I just don't want to get to Christmastime or whatever and have nothing left or very little.
Well whatever. It's getting late and I need to get to bed.
ben
Mark tells me this nonchalantly as if it were nothing. WTFreak? Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you call the police? He's like, well I didn't want to bother you. ??? I'm like dude, what if that dog had gotten through the fence? What is going to stop it from eventually carrying out it's mission? Call the police! It's a pitbull and it's also destruction of my property and a vicious dog! I do NOT like Pitbulls, they have a reputation for a good reason and I can tell you right now, if I had been here when that happened? I would bashed that dog over the head with a club!
I was not so slightly irritated that his answer to the situation was - basically nothing. Just fix the damage and that's that. How does this address the problem? This does not bode well, in my thinking, for not selling off this house even if it has to be a short sale versus leaving them in charge. If they can't deal with something that simple, I will need to rethink all of this. Gonna have to have a serious sit down and talk cause' I will short sale this house before I leave it in the hands of people that are incapable of dealing with the crap that occurs in this neighborhood.
Meanwhile...spent the entire day with m'lady - of course. We went and had a coffee and frittata at a local coffee shop.
But on the way there? I pull up to a stop light and I notice a truck come cranking over several lanes behind me and the driver of the vehicle throwing his hands up in the air, apparently agitated about something? But I did not cut this truck off, I have NO clue. I pull into the driveway of the strip mall with the coffee shop, this guy goes down the side road and then sees me from a driveway that goes to that street, pulls in there, gets out of his truck and throws his hands up in the air again?!! I'm like, call 911 and get my gun ready? What is the deal with this person. He gets up to my car and I look at him and finally recognize him - a high school buddy that I used to hang out with ALL the time! Hadn't seen him in what? 31 years? Talked for a while and then got to moving.
After the coffee shop, onto one of today's agendas: she has been wanting to buy me a pair of cowboy boots. Went to the Boot Barn and checked out all the boots there in my size, nothing struck either one of us so the salesman advised us to go to Sheplers. Why is this salesman advising us to go to a competitor? He must not make a commission off the sales of boots, apparently. So, off to Sheplers, which the pastor's wife had recommended we go to anyway. After looking at and trying on several pairs of boots, I was down to 2 pair. But after looking at the price tag of one pair, I said, uhhh, no, that's WAY too expensive! She didn't care and thought they looked better on me than the other pair I was looking at.
Wow, and nice! Thank you baby!
We got out to the car and realized it was still too early to go to my mom's place so we went to a place called the Container Store instead. There isn't one in the area she lives in so we walked around and looked at - everything - in the entire store. After that I called mom, she said okay, we headed over there. Spent over 4 hours visiting with her - she is a good cook and makes the best food - and then headed out yet again after a very good visit.
She wanted to see if she could find the house she lived in when she lived here, in the Phoenix area, decades ago. We kinda went around in circles but found the place she thought it was. After that, I figured to take her to the Cheesecake Factory - she alluded to the idea of going there before she even got here so I decided to surprise her with it.
Came back to my house, hung out watching a movie for a couple of hours, talking the entire day about everything under the sun and then took her back to the pastor's house for the night.
Good day with her. Tomorrow last full day with her. She leaves Monday at 5 pm on a flight back, but I have to work. I will take her to the airport after I get off of work, but I cannot take another day off. I continue to tell her that I cannot just keep taking alot of time off, there will be nothing left and I will have nothing left to deal with that's coming up later on this year: Marriage and moving out to Texas. She wants me to come out there or her come to me every month, but this simply isn't realistic. So I told her the next trip I would be taking 2 days off and then add weekend to it and that would be it.
She was obviously not liking that idea but that is all that I can do. Her coming out her doesn't change the fact that I have to take time off work to spend it with her. It's only February and I am down to 57 hours left of vacation time. If I were to go out there next month and take 2 days off, add another 10 hours since I get 10 hours added every month, back up to 67 hours but take off 16 hours for 2 days off and now I am down to 51 hours. So unfortunately, it is going to have to have a couple month lapse in visits. I just can't keep using up all my vacation time and have nothing left by the middle of summer. I do have 3 floating holidays and 3 personal days I can take, but that has to be saved for the move out there.
I just don't want to get to Christmastime or whatever and have nothing left or very little.
Well whatever. It's getting late and I need to get to bed.
ben
Friday, February 7, 2014
Starting to feel sick. Hit me after the prayer meeting was over tonight. Chest congestion and head aching. Feeling like s*** basically. So, taking B and C vitamins - lots of C - and Mucinex to try and head this off at the pass.
The never-ending story with my lady, her ex and the boys. Really, this goes on on a daily basis. The ex sends her a text message telling her how happy he is that she is now engaged to "Ben" and wishes us a good life together???? Just as I recognize when my ex is saying something that is loaded with -whatever it is loaded with even though others don't see anything at all bad about something, so does my lady with this kin of message from ex.
She shows me the text and asks me what I think about it? I think I would like to have a conversation with that man, that's what I mean. No, not violence or raised voices, just a man-to-man talk. If that is even possible with this dude. I will say one thing: his days of saying all kinds of BS to her on the phone or in text messages are numbered. I won't tolerate it. She can hand the phone to me and I will reply to this dude.
Regardless and onto the now 16-year old - he turned 16 on the 4th. He was completely and totally depressed tonight. I contacted him and he's getting cranky about why I didn't tell him that I had proposed to his mom? Uhh, dude, it was at 11 o'clock last night. You were in bed, sleeping because you have to get up for school. I woke up late this morning, you were already in school before I could send you a message. Well, mom could have told me last night! Dude! You KNEW I was going to propose to her! I'm sorry!
It's cool was his reply but the real thing that was bugging him came out after that. His girlfriend. She couldn't see him for his birthday - on the 4th and he couldn't see her for her birthday which is today, the 6th. But he knew he wouldn't be able to and was okay with seeing her on Valentine's day. This is one of his statements: "Shit gonna hit the fan is what I'm telling you. Its gonna get messy" He's telling me his dad is hiring a lawyer and that he has talked to a "lot" of government "people" that are telling him he can get out of his mom's house and into dad's house. There is ONLY one reason he wants to do this: so he can have unlimited access to this girl that is 14 years old, he is 16. This is all about pure lust and there is ONLY the element of trouble that can be attached to this situation.
Does someone want to weigh in on the idea of a 30 something year old woman telling this 16 year old boy that his mom's problem is that she needs to get laid? This is the kind of s*** that both the ex and that girl's parents are filling this boy's head with. I had this kid all good with the current situation and that if he's good, by Valentine's day, he can visit with her. But 10 seconds with that ex and the next thing you know, he is all depressed, thinking about cutting himself again and listening to this "father" - term used very loosely in this man's case - filling this boy's head with shit. Dad qualifies for an 80k loan - please tell me what kind of neighborhood you are going to be living in that has 80k housing.
I couldn't talk to the boy, he wasn't going to listen so I just let it go for the time being. This situation with this boy needs to come to a conclusion and apparently the only way that is going to happen is through the courts. But really, this will only deal with the legal aspects and apparently the ex has no clue, there is much damning evidence against him, including vulgar text messages sent to m'lady about one of the kids and other explicit, reprehensible texts that she has saved
I will not be able to bite my tongue forever with this man. Some of the things he says to her? Totally pisses me off. Treats that lady like a pile of dogshit. I am soooo sick of his bs. She is becoming less opposed to the idea of my talking with him, especially now that we are engaged to be married.
I will have my hands full. If the 16 year old is even still living there when I get there - who knows how that is going to turn out though I doubt the courts are going to change the current status with his living situation - he will be a lot to deal with all by himself. But the 14 year old? Equally as difficult but with different issues.
Whatever the case, I am exhausted and I need to get to bed.
ben
The never-ending story with my lady, her ex and the boys. Really, this goes on on a daily basis. The ex sends her a text message telling her how happy he is that she is now engaged to "Ben" and wishes us a good life together???? Just as I recognize when my ex is saying something that is loaded with -whatever it is loaded with even though others don't see anything at all bad about something, so does my lady with this kin of message from ex.
She shows me the text and asks me what I think about it? I think I would like to have a conversation with that man, that's what I mean. No, not violence or raised voices, just a man-to-man talk. If that is even possible with this dude. I will say one thing: his days of saying all kinds of BS to her on the phone or in text messages are numbered. I won't tolerate it. She can hand the phone to me and I will reply to this dude.
Regardless and onto the now 16-year old - he turned 16 on the 4th. He was completely and totally depressed tonight. I contacted him and he's getting cranky about why I didn't tell him that I had proposed to his mom? Uhh, dude, it was at 11 o'clock last night. You were in bed, sleeping because you have to get up for school. I woke up late this morning, you were already in school before I could send you a message. Well, mom could have told me last night! Dude! You KNEW I was going to propose to her! I'm sorry!
It's cool was his reply but the real thing that was bugging him came out after that. His girlfriend. She couldn't see him for his birthday - on the 4th and he couldn't see her for her birthday which is today, the 6th. But he knew he wouldn't be able to and was okay with seeing her on Valentine's day. This is one of his statements: "Shit gonna hit the fan is what I'm telling you. Its gonna get messy" He's telling me his dad is hiring a lawyer and that he has talked to a "lot" of government "people" that are telling him he can get out of his mom's house and into dad's house. There is ONLY one reason he wants to do this: so he can have unlimited access to this girl that is 14 years old, he is 16. This is all about pure lust and there is ONLY the element of trouble that can be attached to this situation.
Does someone want to weigh in on the idea of a 30 something year old woman telling this 16 year old boy that his mom's problem is that she needs to get laid? This is the kind of s*** that both the ex and that girl's parents are filling this boy's head with. I had this kid all good with the current situation and that if he's good, by Valentine's day, he can visit with her. But 10 seconds with that ex and the next thing you know, he is all depressed, thinking about cutting himself again and listening to this "father" - term used very loosely in this man's case - filling this boy's head with shit. Dad qualifies for an 80k loan - please tell me what kind of neighborhood you are going to be living in that has 80k housing.
I couldn't talk to the boy, he wasn't going to listen so I just let it go for the time being. This situation with this boy needs to come to a conclusion and apparently the only way that is going to happen is through the courts. But really, this will only deal with the legal aspects and apparently the ex has no clue, there is much damning evidence against him, including vulgar text messages sent to m'lady about one of the kids and other explicit, reprehensible texts that she has saved
I will not be able to bite my tongue forever with this man. Some of the things he says to her? Totally pisses me off. Treats that lady like a pile of dogshit. I am soooo sick of his bs. She is becoming less opposed to the idea of my talking with him, especially now that we are engaged to be married.
I will have my hands full. If the 16 year old is even still living there when I get there - who knows how that is going to turn out though I doubt the courts are going to change the current status with his living situation - he will be a lot to deal with all by himself. But the 14 year old? Equally as difficult but with different issues.
Whatever the case, I am exhausted and I need to get to bed.
ben
Thursday, February 6, 2014
I am up at my mom's property up in the mountains.
I had one agenda bringing her up here, my lady that is.
To be completely alone with her an entire day.
No kids, no adults, no intrusions from the outside world.
Once here though, I forgot the combo for the combination lock on the gate~!
But it eventually came back to me and then....I had to replace the electrical outlet
for the power to my trailer. It was cutting out last time up here and this time
started doing the same thing as soon as I plugged it in, so I just go out there
and replaced it.
I helped that it is cold up here. Why? Perfect snuggling weather.
We spent the entire day cuddled up together, watched a couple of movies,
ate dinner, watched another movie but after that? We just cuddled in silence
and basked in the warmth and glow of each other's love. We talked at great
length today before that point, I had some things I needed to be clear about.
And at the end of all of that? I don't know why it was so hard, but it took me
all day to get up the courage to get up, pull the ring out of the closet I had it hiding in
and asked her to marry me.
She said yes.
It's very late by my standards - 11pm - I am going to bed.
Goodnite world.
ben
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
I'm 50 years old today! Wooohhooooo!!! ????.......okay then!
My lady's in the air, heading this way - and I gotta go to work, gag. Oh well, I knew that was going to happen, not the end of the world. At least there is something to do in the truck routing system.
Hmmmm, I wonder what this day has in store!
lol.
g'day
ben
My lady's in the air, heading this way - and I gotta go to work, gag. Oh well, I knew that was going to happen, not the end of the world. At least there is something to do in the truck routing system.
Hmmmm, I wonder what this day has in store!
lol.
g'day
ben
Monday, February 3, 2014
Superbowl - gag. Worst I've seen in decades.
Going to be an interesting week.
2 days from now, I turn 50. Same said day my lady shows up. My uncle is in the hospital in a coma, they are thinking of pulling the plug - he had a stroke early last week and it's pretty much a grim prognosis. JD - the kid that has been coming over to my house since he was 12 years old - left me a note last night saying he just turned 21 and could he please have a birthday present. lol I usually give him a $20. My lady's 15 year - yes the one I have been dealing with - turns 16 tomorrow and I have a 4 day weekend this week. Plus going up to the mountains. And whatever else may happen!
So yes, interesting week. Oh, that doesn't include the couple that is moving in today! I need to start saving up for a potential move later on this year to Texas. I haven't made a final decision on that one yet. I'm still weighing this whole situation. Those kids are a handful. Just one of them is a handful. The 14 year old is, in reality, as bad at the 15 year old. I will never be able to say I didn't know what I was getting into. But I could still get on here and rant about the stuff going on!
So yeah. Praying, seeking the Lord - what is His will on all of this? What is the next step, if there even is one? Where do I go with this? Cause pretty much? You pop the question and it's a done deal. Sure, you can get out of it, but not without causing people a lot of heartache and grief. Kinda like aiming a gun at someone, once you propose, you are all in! It would be a very big step in my life to marry her since she lives in Texas and would have to uproot and move over there. I've given it more thought and consideration than anyone could ever imagine.
Well, it's Monday, at work, nothing to do really but gotta get the store up and going.
G'day.
ben
Going to be an interesting week.
2 days from now, I turn 50. Same said day my lady shows up. My uncle is in the hospital in a coma, they are thinking of pulling the plug - he had a stroke early last week and it's pretty much a grim prognosis. JD - the kid that has been coming over to my house since he was 12 years old - left me a note last night saying he just turned 21 and could he please have a birthday present. lol I usually give him a $20. My lady's 15 year - yes the one I have been dealing with - turns 16 tomorrow and I have a 4 day weekend this week. Plus going up to the mountains. And whatever else may happen!
So yes, interesting week. Oh, that doesn't include the couple that is moving in today! I need to start saving up for a potential move later on this year to Texas. I haven't made a final decision on that one yet. I'm still weighing this whole situation. Those kids are a handful. Just one of them is a handful. The 14 year old is, in reality, as bad at the 15 year old. I will never be able to say I didn't know what I was getting into. But I could still get on here and rant about the stuff going on!
So yeah. Praying, seeking the Lord - what is His will on all of this? What is the next step, if there even is one? Where do I go with this? Cause pretty much? You pop the question and it's a done deal. Sure, you can get out of it, but not without causing people a lot of heartache and grief. Kinda like aiming a gun at someone, once you propose, you are all in! It would be a very big step in my life to marry her since she lives in Texas and would have to uproot and move over there. I've given it more thought and consideration than anyone could ever imagine.
Well, it's Monday, at work, nothing to do really but gotta get the store up and going.
G'day.
ben
Sunday, February 2, 2014
This is gonna be a short one since I wrote up pretty long one earlier today. I mean, I watched the Boredom Bowl until the 4th quarter and gave up on it. Pathetic game. IMO, worst thing you can do is have the ultimate football game be a total blowout.
Moving on. I left off the last entry that the boy was going to contact me, and that he did. 3-1/2 hours of it. It drained me. I mean, I told him how I felt, I let him have it, I poured my heart out to him I was kind and not so kind at some points - a whole plethora of emotion and spanning the realm. I dunno I might go into more depth of this conversation with him tomorrow, but right now? I am exhausted! Besides talking to my lady, I have been talking with a very intense, smart (yet dumb) 15 year old boy for hours.
The end result? He said was going to straighten up.
And that's enough for now. I am something of a mentor to him but with friendship tendencies and I try to hear him out while at the same time serving up doses of truth.
This day is over for me. 3 more days and it's my birthday and she is showing up. I have a 4 day weekend coming up! Yes!
G'nite.
ben
Moving on. I left off the last entry that the boy was going to contact me, and that he did. 3-1/2 hours of it. It drained me. I mean, I told him how I felt, I let him have it, I poured my heart out to him I was kind and not so kind at some points - a whole plethora of emotion and spanning the realm. I dunno I might go into more depth of this conversation with him tomorrow, but right now? I am exhausted! Besides talking to my lady, I have been talking with a very intense, smart (yet dumb) 15 year old boy for hours.
The end result? He said was going to straighten up.
And that's enough for now. I am something of a mentor to him but with friendship tendencies and I try to hear him out while at the same time serving up doses of truth.
This day is over for me. 3 more days and it's my birthday and she is showing up. I have a 4 day weekend coming up! Yes!
G'nite.
ben
Well, 2 of m'lady's cows have dropped calves! With another one looking like she's ready to drop and hopefully 3 or 4 more after that! It's the time of year for cows to drop calves. Which I find very odd since many of the places that have cows are in freezing, bitter cold this time of year. But, God created them he musta known what he was doing.
Meanwhile, if you had thought all hell had already broken loose over there, well, it got 1,000 times worse last night. This is all about the 15 year old, whose hormones have exploded, has found a girlfriend and has entered the complete and total rebellion stage because of this girl and m'lady's attempts to keep it from getting too carried away. I mean, the girl is only 13 years old and the 15 year old turns 16 in 2 days.
Well anyway, leading up to this situation last night is that girl's parents lack of morals/ethics and basically telling her lies about what is going on over there when 15 year is visiting. He's been over there 3 times now, I think. She doesn't want him kissing a 13 year old girl and I have to agree with that assessment, but that girl's parents don't care one bit.
I'ma skip a lot of stuff because otherwise? This entry will go on for 50 paragraphs and I neither have the time nor the gumption to do that right now. Just isn't necessary to go into all of that anyway, you get the jist of the situation: boy in love with girl; boy not listening to mom; boy's head getting filled with a bunch of crap from both that girl's parents and m'lady's ex concerning m'lady.
So here we go. 15 year old is saying she is ruining his life. This because she is putting quite reasonable restraints on him with girl but still allowing him to go over there anyway. 15 year old says he wants complete freedom to do whatever he wants whenever he wants to. I do believe a good portion of parents would find that laughable, much less acceptable. But, his attitude since this all started has gone to rotten, evil and wicked in a quick hurry. I mean, EVIL. Making indeterminate threats against her to do something evil.
So, on Friday, after having this discussion all this week, it's determined that he can have her over to m'lady's house on Saturday. He wanted to go over there and was demanding that he be allowed to go. I thought it was very giving of my lady that she even was going to allow them to be together at all after all the crap he has given her this week about it. Well, Friday afternoon, going to the bank and boy is in the vehicle, he starts cussing at her and also slapping the 6 year old girl on the head. She had already been hearing dose after dose of crap from him all day long about going to the girl's house on Saturday, she had had enough. Told him to get out of the car. Yup, right there, but only half a mile from ex's apartment. You can go to your dad's, bye! Time passes, come to find out that the parents of the girl are coming to pick him up on Saturday, even AFTER she had told them he is NOT to go over there this weekend!
My lady calls up the mom, who says, ohhh, I'm sorry, I didn't remember saying that yesterday. ??? Seriously? She claims she is on some heart medicine and it causes her to forget things. Gag. So then, my lady is telling her after it gets deep into a pile of s*** that she will never trust her again, on and on. Okay. So boy is over there all day, texts mom that he can do whatever he wants because he was with dad and dad said it was okay. Just pure, sh**** attitude. She texts her mom asking for husband's phone number so she can talk to him about this.
Let's fast forward. Ex brings boy home last night. Boy comes in and demands to be allowed to go over to girl's house whenever h wants and also that m'lady MUST pay for his cellphone. A little foggy what actually happened, but ex had already discussed with boy about him living over there - without saying anything to m'lady and he says fine, I'm going to live with dad! Ex was waiting out there for over 20 minutes, unknown to m'lady, waiting for him to come out and take him to his new home. Let me pause here and say that his house? is a one bedroom apartment. He already has the 17 year old living over there. The 17 year old and 15 year do not get along together, they get into fist fights.
So, she tells me all of this after the fact. I kinda lost it, I do admit. Why on earth are you bowing to that man and his threats? YOU have legal custody of that boy! I got pushy with her: you have already lost 3 and now you are going to lose a minor. You are going to end up losing all of them! Well, she got all the kids, got into the van, drove over there. I told her to be ready to dial 911. And sure enough, she had to. The boy actually twisted her arm in trying to get the phone out of her hand, which he did! This while the ex stood there and did NOTHING to stop that boy's abuse towards her!
Police came, told ex he was going to get into a lot of trouble if he was going to try to force this issue, better force him to go home, if you want to take her to court to get custody, that's your option. So, this guy has the audacity to say well she dropped him off a long way away from here and I didn't know where he was at! He doesn't even care, just throwing that in there. M'lady looks at the cops, yeah after he started cussing me out in my car and verbally abusing me and all the rest of it! The cops look her square in the eye, tell her: "If you have any problems with that child tonight, you call us and we'll come out and take him".
Fast forward. He's in a rampage at home. Blah blah blahh. Threats and all the rest of it. Just not going to go into all of that boy's endless ramblings and garbage. This kid contacts me last night on Facebook and says: Your girlfriend is a liar and a hypocrite.
I was infuriated but I refrained. I told him he was angry and upset, we can talk when he calms down, that was that. Fast forward to this morning. He and 14 year old decide they are not going to go to church. She says fine, you can stay outside in the cold and rain while we are gone. She goes to church, calls ATT and has his phone shut off. Yup, good thing, the people he is talking to are filling his mind with evil. She gets home from church. They found an unlocked window, they were inside when she got there. He demands his phone be turned on. She refuses, and also, she had already told him the relationship with the girl is cut off.
He says well, okay then, since you aren't going to turn my phone on, you aren't going to get your laptop back! I'm telling you, this kid! She says what? This laptop has all over her programming stuff on it for the companies she does programming for. She just looked at him and said: I'll give you 5 seconds to get me my laptop or I'm calling the police. He called her bluff? Yeah, she got her cellphone out and started dialing 911. Okay, okay!! Life is going to get very difficult for that boy now. He told her yesterday to "get out of my life!". Hurtful thing to say to your own mom.
Anyway. Now Sunday afternoon. Went to church this morning, awesome service! Got out and called her. She was telling me all that had transpired all the way up til' - now - actually. She is turning the phone back on long enough for him to - contact me. No, I didn't ask, he asked her to please let him speak to me via text. He is not going to hear what he wants to hear from me. He has abused my girlfriend verbally and even twisting her arm yesterday, I am sick of it. I have tried to be nice but yet firm with him all this time, but enough is enough. If he really does contact me, he probably won't want to hear from me again because I am going to hammer him for the abusive treatment he has given her.
.......and if he's gong to contact me, better be soon! I want to watch the Superbowl and I want to get a short nap in in between this conversation and before the kickoff!
G'day.
ben
;
Meanwhile, if you had thought all hell had already broken loose over there, well, it got 1,000 times worse last night. This is all about the 15 year old, whose hormones have exploded, has found a girlfriend and has entered the complete and total rebellion stage because of this girl and m'lady's attempts to keep it from getting too carried away. I mean, the girl is only 13 years old and the 15 year old turns 16 in 2 days.
Well anyway, leading up to this situation last night is that girl's parents lack of morals/ethics and basically telling her lies about what is going on over there when 15 year is visiting. He's been over there 3 times now, I think. She doesn't want him kissing a 13 year old girl and I have to agree with that assessment, but that girl's parents don't care one bit.
I'ma skip a lot of stuff because otherwise? This entry will go on for 50 paragraphs and I neither have the time nor the gumption to do that right now. Just isn't necessary to go into all of that anyway, you get the jist of the situation: boy in love with girl; boy not listening to mom; boy's head getting filled with a bunch of crap from both that girl's parents and m'lady's ex concerning m'lady.
So here we go. 15 year old is saying she is ruining his life. This because she is putting quite reasonable restraints on him with girl but still allowing him to go over there anyway. 15 year old says he wants complete freedom to do whatever he wants whenever he wants to. I do believe a good portion of parents would find that laughable, much less acceptable. But, his attitude since this all started has gone to rotten, evil and wicked in a quick hurry. I mean, EVIL. Making indeterminate threats against her to do something evil.
So, on Friday, after having this discussion all this week, it's determined that he can have her over to m'lady's house on Saturday. He wanted to go over there and was demanding that he be allowed to go. I thought it was very giving of my lady that she even was going to allow them to be together at all after all the crap he has given her this week about it. Well, Friday afternoon, going to the bank and boy is in the vehicle, he starts cussing at her and also slapping the 6 year old girl on the head. She had already been hearing dose after dose of crap from him all day long about going to the girl's house on Saturday, she had had enough. Told him to get out of the car. Yup, right there, but only half a mile from ex's apartment. You can go to your dad's, bye! Time passes, come to find out that the parents of the girl are coming to pick him up on Saturday, even AFTER she had told them he is NOT to go over there this weekend!
My lady calls up the mom, who says, ohhh, I'm sorry, I didn't remember saying that yesterday. ??? Seriously? She claims she is on some heart medicine and it causes her to forget things. Gag. So then, my lady is telling her after it gets deep into a pile of s*** that she will never trust her again, on and on. Okay. So boy is over there all day, texts mom that he can do whatever he wants because he was with dad and dad said it was okay. Just pure, sh**** attitude. She texts her mom asking for husband's phone number so she can talk to him about this.
Let's fast forward. Ex brings boy home last night. Boy comes in and demands to be allowed to go over to girl's house whenever h wants and also that m'lady MUST pay for his cellphone. A little foggy what actually happened, but ex had already discussed with boy about him living over there - without saying anything to m'lady and he says fine, I'm going to live with dad! Ex was waiting out there for over 20 minutes, unknown to m'lady, waiting for him to come out and take him to his new home. Let me pause here and say that his house? is a one bedroom apartment. He already has the 17 year old living over there. The 17 year old and 15 year do not get along together, they get into fist fights.
So, she tells me all of this after the fact. I kinda lost it, I do admit. Why on earth are you bowing to that man and his threats? YOU have legal custody of that boy! I got pushy with her: you have already lost 3 and now you are going to lose a minor. You are going to end up losing all of them! Well, she got all the kids, got into the van, drove over there. I told her to be ready to dial 911. And sure enough, she had to. The boy actually twisted her arm in trying to get the phone out of her hand, which he did! This while the ex stood there and did NOTHING to stop that boy's abuse towards her!
Police came, told ex he was going to get into a lot of trouble if he was going to try to force this issue, better force him to go home, if you want to take her to court to get custody, that's your option. So, this guy has the audacity to say well she dropped him off a long way away from here and I didn't know where he was at! He doesn't even care, just throwing that in there. M'lady looks at the cops, yeah after he started cussing me out in my car and verbally abusing me and all the rest of it! The cops look her square in the eye, tell her: "If you have any problems with that child tonight, you call us and we'll come out and take him".
Fast forward. He's in a rampage at home. Blah blah blahh. Threats and all the rest of it. Just not going to go into all of that boy's endless ramblings and garbage. This kid contacts me last night on Facebook and says: Your girlfriend is a liar and a hypocrite.
I was infuriated but I refrained. I told him he was angry and upset, we can talk when he calms down, that was that. Fast forward to this morning. He and 14 year old decide they are not going to go to church. She says fine, you can stay outside in the cold and rain while we are gone. She goes to church, calls ATT and has his phone shut off. Yup, good thing, the people he is talking to are filling his mind with evil. She gets home from church. They found an unlocked window, they were inside when she got there. He demands his phone be turned on. She refuses, and also, she had already told him the relationship with the girl is cut off.
He says well, okay then, since you aren't going to turn my phone on, you aren't going to get your laptop back! I'm telling you, this kid! She says what? This laptop has all over her programming stuff on it for the companies she does programming for. She just looked at him and said: I'll give you 5 seconds to get me my laptop or I'm calling the police. He called her bluff? Yeah, she got her cellphone out and started dialing 911. Okay, okay!! Life is going to get very difficult for that boy now. He told her yesterday to "get out of my life!". Hurtful thing to say to your own mom.
Anyway. Now Sunday afternoon. Went to church this morning, awesome service! Got out and called her. She was telling me all that had transpired all the way up til' - now - actually. She is turning the phone back on long enough for him to - contact me. No, I didn't ask, he asked her to please let him speak to me via text. He is not going to hear what he wants to hear from me. He has abused my girlfriend verbally and even twisting her arm yesterday, I am sick of it. I have tried to be nice but yet firm with him all this time, but enough is enough. If he really does contact me, he probably won't want to hear from me again because I am going to hammer him for the abusive treatment he has given her.
.......and if he's gong to contact me, better be soon! I want to watch the Superbowl and I want to get a short nap in in between this conversation and before the kickoff!
G'day.
ben
;
Friday, January 31, 2014
Friday! Tired! lol. Didn't sleep too well last night and now? I will pay for it at work.
Busy weekend in store.
Clean, clean, clean.
Scrub out and vacuum the inside of the car, my room, bathroom living room, etc.
Actually, it's all pretty good right except the car!
Never-the-less, I told her to not expect to see me on FB so much this weekend as I prepare for her arrival this coming week, Wednesday to be precise.
George and Susan have birthday dinner planned for me and her as well. She says she doesn't care what we do, but she's going to be hanging all over me looking for attention, lol. Okay!
I don't have much to say this morning. Just putting out a few words. End of month. Tomorrow, the "temporary" tenant is leaving and on the third, the new ones are moving in. Supposedly. I never call those things done deal until they are - done deals, ie: they've handed me the money. After that, I don't care if they move in or not! I got the money!
Well, gotta prepare myself for this weekend. Can't really think of everything right now, my head a bit cloudy from not getting enough sleep. Oh well! Last day my Starbuck's mug works for free lattes, will take advantage of it!
G'day.
ben
Busy weekend in store.
Clean, clean, clean.
Scrub out and vacuum the inside of the car, my room, bathroom living room, etc.
Actually, it's all pretty good right except the car!
Never-the-less, I told her to not expect to see me on FB so much this weekend as I prepare for her arrival this coming week, Wednesday to be precise.
George and Susan have birthday dinner planned for me and her as well. She says she doesn't care what we do, but she's going to be hanging all over me looking for attention, lol. Okay!
I don't have much to say this morning. Just putting out a few words. End of month. Tomorrow, the "temporary" tenant is leaving and on the third, the new ones are moving in. Supposedly. I never call those things done deal until they are - done deals, ie: they've handed me the money. After that, I don't care if they move in or not! I got the money!
Well, gotta prepare myself for this weekend. Can't really think of everything right now, my head a bit cloudy from not getting enough sleep. Oh well! Last day my Starbuck's mug works for free lattes, will take advantage of it!
G'day.
ben
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Definitely going to drag her up to the mountains to the property and we will spend at least one night there. Maybe 2. It's so beautiful and peaceful up there. Maybe a bit cold at this time of year but there are heaters in the trailers and a pit to build a nice fire :) I haven't built too many fires up there in the past because - I - was - alone. I mean, I can entertain myself to a point. Now that I think about it, it seems the world revolves around couples, married or otherwise. If you don't have a mate to talk with the other guy's mate......well that is a side benefit, maybe, in the future.
So yeah. I'm still trying to find a ring, definitely plan on popping the question! Maybe up there! Though in this electronic age, it would be cool to get it on video.
I decided today to contact her 17 year old. He's gone, out of the house, done, living with the ex, who knows how that will go. But it wasn't anything preachy. Just want to keep in contact with him. If this all works out I want him to feel comfortable with me and maybe he'll even come back home. Or not, don't know. But I feel the need to reach out. So, I was heartened to get some replies and have a conversation.
Meanwhile, the 15 year old, in his overwhelming desire to be with his girl, lied to me today and was attempting to get me to get his mom to relent, change her mind about him going over there this weekend and do what he wants. After talking with him and then her, and then eventually finding out about his lies. I had a few words for him. No, I didn't bash him. I just told him trust is earned and easy to lose. That it hurts to have a person you know and/or love lie to you and make up stories. Stuff like that. He apologized = sort of - but I wasn't done with what I was trying to convey to him.
Well the 4th apology from him was desperate in nature. Like he felt like I was rejecting and abandoning him, which wasn't my intent at all, so I changed course with it. Time to let it go and I did, but still attempting to teach him how words can hurt people.
Anyway, it's my bed time, I am dead tired. Lady is just soo much looking forward to coming and yes, I am sooo much looking forward to her visit! Yes!
ben
So, her ex is allegedly coming today to pick up the 17 year old and he is moving in with dad. Good luck! She had all of those boys sign a contract awhile back: you leave, you cannot come back for 3 months. THe rest of it is: you can leave at anytime, I am not holding you here. I'll be more than just a little curious to see how all of this plays out. He will not have a car to drive, I have no idea how he figures he's going to get to school or work. Well actually I do, he has a savings account that mom has control of and she is giving him all of that money. It will be enough to buy an economy car.
But not my problem, either. So the 4th room is rented out. I regretted doing it after I told them I would. Not that I couldn't tell them no, now, but whatever. It's more money I can deal with it - for a while. They are nice people, anyway, a couple, seem to be nice I should say but had a conversation with them that indicated to me that they shouldn't be a problem - of if they are, nothing major. I posted that ad for room rental but now you can put your phone number on there, so I did and then forgot about it. These people called me on Saturday when I was out and about and it just took me off guard.
The problem is too many people in the house. Just too much walking in and out as it is, plus the load on the bathroom, I am going to have to give people access to my bathroom to help handle the load. I don't really care about that, either, I just don't want to make existing tenants unhappy with having too many people in here. But, I've pulled the trigger and let the chips fall where they may. I may go ahead and see if George and his gf want my bedroom - more money per month though - but it would give them space and privacy they are looking for. Their current bedroom is huge, just doesn't have it's own bathroom.
Whatever the case, the countdown goes on. She'll be here on Wednesday, my birthday. Superbowl this weekend. I forgot that I have a Standing Rib Roast sitting in my freezer! I bought it before I went to m'lady's house, stuck it in the freezer and forgot about it! I think I'll cook that sucker while she's here!
G'day.
ben
But not my problem, either. So the 4th room is rented out. I regretted doing it after I told them I would. Not that I couldn't tell them no, now, but whatever. It's more money I can deal with it - for a while. They are nice people, anyway, a couple, seem to be nice I should say but had a conversation with them that indicated to me that they shouldn't be a problem - of if they are, nothing major. I posted that ad for room rental but now you can put your phone number on there, so I did and then forgot about it. These people called me on Saturday when I was out and about and it just took me off guard.
The problem is too many people in the house. Just too much walking in and out as it is, plus the load on the bathroom, I am going to have to give people access to my bathroom to help handle the load. I don't really care about that, either, I just don't want to make existing tenants unhappy with having too many people in here. But, I've pulled the trigger and let the chips fall where they may. I may go ahead and see if George and his gf want my bedroom - more money per month though - but it would give them space and privacy they are looking for. Their current bedroom is huge, just doesn't have it's own bathroom.
Whatever the case, the countdown goes on. She'll be here on Wednesday, my birthday. Superbowl this weekend. I forgot that I have a Standing Rib Roast sitting in my freezer! I bought it before I went to m'lady's house, stuck it in the freezer and forgot about it! I think I'll cook that sucker while she's here!
G'day.
ben
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Countdown to her arrival: 8 days.
Meanwhile, getting things tidied up around here.
And, meanwhile, listening to the ranting of a 15 year old boy proclaiming his disdain for his mom's insistence the he cannot yet kiss his girlfriend and inappropriate touching is also out the window.
That was yesterday. She contacts me via FB informing me that he is pissed at her and the he thinks I will take his side and that he is going to be texting me. And so it began, 15 minute later with the following text message, sent from boy: " ".
This was in reference to mom's dictatorial that such was going to be with that girl and if not, she would cut it off. So, the boy starts talking about moving out. To where, I ask, dad's? No car. No huge property to ride your dirt bike around. How are you going to get to school? He works night shift. "She can't run my life like she thinks she can I'm 16 almost i can make my own decisions" I hate to sound like I am mocking the boy, but that got me to laughing.
Another quote from the boy: "I'm not moving out she needs me and she knows it". This is the way this conversation went for a little bit until I had enough of it and started digging in. Though his statement is true, she does need him around there, he's the only one that will do all the work outside with the cows and fixing fence lines to keep the cows in and all the rest of it. I certainly wasn't going to dignify that statement with a ohhhh, yes, she reallllly needs you.
I got into his business. And then I told this boy that if I move out there and become a part of that family, he'll think her intrusions were a cake walk compared to me. Not only that, but I will ask her to hand over all decision making concerning the older ones to me - she can't deal with them, they are too much for her to handle. Too many of them and they "attack" her at times all at once. Size matters as well in this case, she is a small, petite woman, I am 205 pounds standing 6'2" tall and veritably loom over all over those teenage boys.
This went on for 2 hours. Why "waste" that much time with him? .....though I don't consider it a waste of time, I just know how lots of people think, especially when dealing with other people's kids. The answer to that question, however, is because no-one else will. Mom, yes, but no adult male figures are any part of those boys' lives. Their dad is MIA. He only showed up for the fun part at the beginning after that he is missing. He wants nothing to do with them. He refuses to take them even when it's his court-agreed time to take them. When he does finally take them, it's for a very short period of time, stuffs them in front of a TV, rents movies and that's his involvement with them.
So yes, especially if they contact me first, I will invest the time into them to try and help them understand what life is really about versus the contorted thinking that they get from their dad. REALLY contorted thinking. Though some of their thinking can just be attributed to the way teenagers see things versus the way things really are. The 17 year old is intent on moving in with his dad, but dad, after initially accepting, is giving my lady a time on the phone about it: he really doesn't want him over there. Shocking surprise. She doesn't think it's going to happen, he will back out of it and tell the boy no, he can't move in. We'll see, the kid wants to move out on Friday. She took the car keys and the house keys away from him. He can't drive anywhere and if he's not home by whatever time she declares, he's locked out.
I kinda helped her with that, lol. That kid is so incredibly disrespectful to her. I give the 15 year old much more hope than the 17 year old. I contacted the 15 year old after all the heavy stuff over and lightened up a bit and his factual statement was: dude don't worry (I wasn't just his personality) and then: we are good. So, cool that cause' I was digging into his nerves last night.
As for m'lady, well, she just sat on the sidelines, not that we weren't talking but sat the same time she likes the fact that I am taking a personal interest in all of them. I got lots to do in the next 7 days and best be getting to it. I also am awaiting to find out whether or not I get the Safe Driver Award bonus. I mean, by this time in the month, they usually have that list out -- they send out a list every month of who is getting it nationwide with their names and the amount of time they have spent with the company. I would REALLY like to get that bonus, that would help things out immensely right now.
Well, time to be off to work.
G'day.
ben
Meanwhile, getting things tidied up around here.
And, meanwhile, listening to the ranting of a 15 year old boy proclaiming his disdain for his mom's insistence the he cannot yet kiss his girlfriend and inappropriate touching is also out the window.
That was yesterday. She contacts me via FB informing me that he is pissed at her and the he thinks I will take his side and that he is going to be texting me. And so it began, 15 minute later with the following text message, sent from boy: " ".
This was in reference to mom's dictatorial that such was going to be with that girl and if not, she would cut it off. So, the boy starts talking about moving out. To where, I ask, dad's? No car. No huge property to ride your dirt bike around. How are you going to get to school? He works night shift. "She can't run my life like she thinks she can I'm 16 almost i can make my own decisions" I hate to sound like I am mocking the boy, but that got me to laughing.
Another quote from the boy: "I'm not moving out she needs me and she knows it". This is the way this conversation went for a little bit until I had enough of it and started digging in. Though his statement is true, she does need him around there, he's the only one that will do all the work outside with the cows and fixing fence lines to keep the cows in and all the rest of it. I certainly wasn't going to dignify that statement with a ohhhh, yes, she reallllly needs you.
I got into his business. And then I told this boy that if I move out there and become a part of that family, he'll think her intrusions were a cake walk compared to me. Not only that, but I will ask her to hand over all decision making concerning the older ones to me - she can't deal with them, they are too much for her to handle. Too many of them and they "attack" her at times all at once. Size matters as well in this case, she is a small, petite woman, I am 205 pounds standing 6'2" tall and veritably loom over all over those teenage boys.
This went on for 2 hours. Why "waste" that much time with him? .....though I don't consider it a waste of time, I just know how lots of people think, especially when dealing with other people's kids. The answer to that question, however, is because no-one else will. Mom, yes, but no adult male figures are any part of those boys' lives. Their dad is MIA. He only showed up for the fun part at the beginning after that he is missing. He wants nothing to do with them. He refuses to take them even when it's his court-agreed time to take them. When he does finally take them, it's for a very short period of time, stuffs them in front of a TV, rents movies and that's his involvement with them.
So yes, especially if they contact me first, I will invest the time into them to try and help them understand what life is really about versus the contorted thinking that they get from their dad. REALLY contorted thinking. Though some of their thinking can just be attributed to the way teenagers see things versus the way things really are. The 17 year old is intent on moving in with his dad, but dad, after initially accepting, is giving my lady a time on the phone about it: he really doesn't want him over there. Shocking surprise. She doesn't think it's going to happen, he will back out of it and tell the boy no, he can't move in. We'll see, the kid wants to move out on Friday. She took the car keys and the house keys away from him. He can't drive anywhere and if he's not home by whatever time she declares, he's locked out.
I kinda helped her with that, lol. That kid is so incredibly disrespectful to her. I give the 15 year old much more hope than the 17 year old. I contacted the 15 year old after all the heavy stuff over and lightened up a bit and his factual statement was: dude don't worry (I wasn't just his personality) and then: we are good. So, cool that cause' I was digging into his nerves last night.
As for m'lady, well, she just sat on the sidelines, not that we weren't talking but sat the same time she likes the fact that I am taking a personal interest in all of them. I got lots to do in the next 7 days and best be getting to it. I also am awaiting to find out whether or not I get the Safe Driver Award bonus. I mean, by this time in the month, they usually have that list out -- they send out a list every month of who is getting it nationwide with their names and the amount of time they have spent with the company. I would REALLY like to get that bonus, that would help things out immensely right now.
Well, time to be off to work.
G'day.
ben
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