I didn't sleep worth a crap last night. I might have gotten 2 hours of sleep.  I just tossed and turned, wondering about this new job, will it work out, will it end like the last one, will I be able to make money, this that and the other thing.  I couldn't shut it off, and yes I tried.  A constant wave of stress and the jitters.

I have to say that I was amazed that I wasn't even tired today, at all, at least not until I got home an hour ago. Now I"m like, I think it's late enough in the day I best just force myself to stay awake until bedtime and then hope that I will sleep very well tonight.

As for the new job, well, they still didn't have any trucks for us, but confirmation numbers to pick up tractors at a Ryder rental place about 45 miles down the road.  We arrived there to find out they didn't have any sleeper trucks available.  The lady behind the counter was talking about day cabs - tractors without sleepers - and went on with that for a few minutes. I thought about it and said, sure, if the company wants to put me up in a hotel every night, I'm all over that.

Oh, she replies, well we don't have any of those, either.  Why on earth did she go off on them for 5 minutes then?? I wondered but kept my mouth shut.  The nearest tractor is in Waco, Texas which is much closer than I originally thought.  I thought it was about 7 hour drive,  turns out it's only 3-1/2 hours away. But they only have one tractor there and it is a day cab.  The other guys were like, no I don't like day cabs.  I was going - well I have driven them for a long time now, if the company put me up in a hotel I don't care if I drive one of those temporarily.

It just amazes me that this company didn't have this all settled by now. Didn't call and confirm that the location had the trucks, though I guess if the 800 call center says they have them, why believe anything else? So, I got paid for today, but we didn't get anywhere with any of this. I figure the way things have been going for me lately, I'll get a truck in time to load up and be out on the road for Thanksgiving, only 3 days away.

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It's many hours later.  No call or text from our manager, obviously they don't have a working solution yet.  I went to Applebee's and had a hot bowl of French Onion Soup and enjoyed my relative freedom.  She, the manager, has plenty of work for us to do.  I mean, she went off on a list when asked by her manager on the phone, and repeating it to us.  So, no plans on getting up early.  In fact, I didn't have to get up early today, come to fine out.  Tho I did tell her that I would be there at 8:00am  Monday morning, on Friday.

She, however, didn't show up until well after that.  In fact, the only person that beat me there was the head mechanic - tho he's the only mechanic lol.  I asked today, there are only 17 drivers total including us 3 new ones.  Not a particularly large operation. I also found out they do not have cameras on the trucks.  Either pointed at you (which I particularly hated about the last company) or at the road (which was fine by me, if someone causes an accident, there isn't a problem having a camera streaming 24 hours a day to the OUTSIDE of the truck). 

Anyway, I'm going to enjoy whatever time off I have here.  Life is about to get particularly busy.  If they get me in a truck, I doubt I will be home for Thanksgiving.  Christmas - who knows.  There were no guarantees of home holidays so I will have to eat it and keep it to myself.  I would, however, love it if they stuck me in a daycab.  These people that hate them have no clue.  The portion where you drive is no different than that of a sleeper.  The problem is there is no sleeper - meaning staying at a hotel.  Again, I made it amply clear that I would be fine with a daycab, with hotel every night. 

I could do that the rest of my life and driving would be much less of a chore.  Get off the road, get into a hot shower, get into usually a comfortable bed.  Yep, its only a 10 hour break. But that's 2 hours to deal  with life and get on my laptop and 8 hours to sleep.  So it's whatever.  I figure if they find one, they might just have me get the thing.  At best, I can only see us making a long trip to get any tractor.  Air, bus, ride, dunno, but there is nothing local here. 

I did think it strange when they said they were sending all 3 of us to the same place for a tractor. I have ample experience with these truck rental places, they don't have a lot of tractors sitting around for rent. You might find one, but not 3.  If there are multiple units available, it must be an unusual circumstance.  It's rest assured they're going to resolve this quickly. They know we're there to earn money.  We are earning something for doing nothing, it's about $800 per week.  But I can be making $1,500 per week driving their trucks.  Personally, I won't say anything about "quitting" for lack of truck to drive if it went on for a while, the other two drivers? Highly doubtful. 

So, here it is. 8:00 pm.  I'll probably sleep in in the morning, I expect I will sleep much better than last night.  No call from them by now means, from what I am seeing, I won't be getting one until mid to late morning, at best. 

I had half a mind to go out and have another fire pit fire, but it's getting a bit late for that.  Or not, lol.  Undecided.  Just don't know how many more opportunities I"m going to have for this.  One of the other new drivers has all kinds of gear for any given truck.  TV being the biggest.

____________________

So now, the female tenant, Rene, is talking about leaving and moving in with a lady friend of hers that she just visited to take care of her while she is basically dying of ALS. I get that there aren't any other females her for her to chit chat with.  So beit.  I wish her all the best.  I'll have to find someone to take her place and that is, of course, always a roll of the dice. That is, if she actually goes through with it.

Her and Donny have a dicey relationship.  They are great with each other at times, and other times, like last night, they go at it tooth and tooth.  I had nothing to do with it and I'm actually thinking this is her response to this s*** last night.  Again, I had NOTHING to do with this and I just listened from another room I was already sitting in before it started.  She may or may not change her mind, so beit. 

I"m not going to worry about it - cept' if she is really going to do this, I want the same time to find another tenant as she wants to be forced to move out, which is two months. 

Well whatever the case, I'm done with writing for the night. 

And so, here I am on the cusp of a Monday morning and whatever adventure lays ahead of me.  Whatever happens, it appears likely going to be sent somewhere to retrieve a semi tractor.  I'm just a little curious why they waited this long to get trucks when they knew we were going to be sitting there, after orientation, waiting for something to do next.  I came there to earn a paycheck.  Sitting at home is wonderful, I do like it, but it doesn't pay the bills.  Time to get out on the road and ge this show started. 

I've come up with a goal based on projected pay (and basing that on a lower end of the scale).  The goal is to get out of working for other people.  To get something going for myself.  I don't care if I have to spend endless hours doing it, it will be for my own reward and whatever that may entail, it won't be away from home for extended periods of time. But for now, I am resolved to what I have to get that goal accomplished. 

First and foremost, fix my credit. That will occur with paying credit cards down and with more time elapsing since all the late payments on the mortgage.  But, I had to come up with an initial goal to get something to focus on. Without that, I'm lost in the water, I have no vision and I have nothing to motivate me.  A small apartment complex or building a mobile home park would be nice, I know enough about that stuff to be able to pull it off. But it's definitely not going to be limited to that idea.  Just that's why my goal is for now. 

It's been something I've wanted to do for a long, long time now, I've just never had the wherewithal to do it. 

Whatever the case, I have always been goal oriented. It drives me to do things that I otherwise would just pass on.  If I see a real potential at the end of the line, I'll do my best to follow through with it.  This has been my problem, now that I started thinking about it. Just in a dead zone of nothingness. No goals, nothing for the future.  Just working a job that sucked, that didn't give me the income to realize any self-sufficient dreams. 

I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch.  I tend to be reserved on outcomes based on no experience with the initial start of something like this.  I have to perform for this company in ways that I have never been demanded of.  I've got 4 ID"s I have acquired that I have to have with me at all times
______________
\
Welp,it's 7:30pm, going to watch my favorite show coming up at 8:00 and then go to bed early.  If that means I wake up early, that's fine, I can have some time to get my mind ready for whatever is to come. It's really an up in the air thing where I'm really not sure what happens next. More traininig?  Get a truck and a trailer and go to the chemical plant?  This is the 2 job in a short amount of time. It really takes some time to get accustomed to a job and the management and everything that it takes to get accustomed to such.  I'm not really into the "not knowing" stuff. 

Well at least the owner of the company I quit cares about his reputation.  I contacted the comptroller twice in 2 days time period without any reply.  After emailing the President, I got a reply back from the comptroller - we mailed your paycheck out yesterday.  Uh huh.  Whatever, I need that money in my account. Switching jobs isn't exactly cheap if you don't have a paycheck coming in each pay period.  Which I should have if they would have sent it out promptly, instead of 2 pay periods later.

________________________________

That was yesterday. Hoping that check arrives today.  Just would like to get it deposited in the bank since next week, who knows what's going to happen.  They have a lead on some trucks just over in Shreveport, allegedly.  I'm supposed to show up for work 8 am Monday. I'm definitely going to need to get into a truck and get rolling cause sitting around here ain't making no money.  That's proper English, btw.

I still have a lot to learn tho. In fact, none of us newbies are cleared to load a truck.  That's much more technical stuff that the trainer said we would learn at a later date.  Doesn't really make a heck of a lot of sense to me to have us going clear to Amarillo and not have a trailer available with which to do a mock filling on and learn how to operate the thing.

Whatever. I suppose I should drain my mind of this stuff for the weekend and chill.  Well, not really chilling tho.  I'm going to put that new smoker together and I'll probably rake up some leaves since the back yard is looking pretty - leafy lol.  I'm hopeful the smoker assembly isn't going to require 100 screws with nuts and washers, like, hopefully it's partially preassembled and not that much to do to put it together.  And since I'm hoping that, it's likely going to take hours lolol.

Oh, now I know why my 4 wheeler wouldn't start last weekend.  I filled the tank up several weeks ago.  Like several gallons of gas.  All I"ve done is run the thing for a few minutes here and there to make sure it will, indeed, run. Welp, obviously someone took the gas out of it.  That should have lasted for months just running it like that.  It's bone dry.  There are only 2 guesses.  Either the neighbor kid stole it or one of the people living here was broke and took it  out of there. I'll pick the kid next door, these people here wouldn't do such a thing without telling me about it.  Not to mention they aren't that broke.

They do need to start saving for moving tho.  Not that I really want them gone.  But, my friends that own the house are dreaming of the day when they can get out of Georgia and get back here.  He put in for a job transfer back, of which they haven't gotten a reply, but they are definitely looking for a way back here.  I don't blame them. I wouldn't want t live in Atlanta, either.  I despise that place.  Just another big city with a lot of crime.  Driving through there recently, a lot of traffic as well.  Especially bad - as in any large city - is rush hour traffic.

I did offer to help them physically move their stuff.  I have a pretty good sized trailer that would hold most of their things, a couple of trips worth would do it.  That saves them the expense of having to rent a truck and having to get it done in X amount of time.  But still, they are looking to rent their own place, which usually means first and last months rent or some combination that allows for a deposit.  Turning on utilities and getting sat TV and internet service.  I think with all of their disabilities they may qualify for rental subsidies tho.  People like this, especially Donny, is where I can see society needs to have a safety net and step in and help when necessary.  He has serious health issues.  There is not way either of the can work jobs, that's just out of the question. I could see her possibly running an Ebay business, but she didn't sound too interested in it when I mentioned it to her.  I'm not sure how computer savvy she is.

___________________________

Got the smoker put together.  A few parts were missing, that, upon digging in the giant box, found them.  Parts that should have been in their plastic shrink wrapped cardboard.  The directions said to season the thing, so I put some charcoal and some mesquite in there and fired it up.  This thing is crazy nice!  It requires a fraction of the amount of charcoal as many other styles, heats up quickly and keeps a good temperature for a long time. Like 4 hours the last I checked.  Of course, smoking is a drawn out process so you want it to be able to maintain a stable temp for an extended time.

It is a nice unit for the price.  I figure if I keep the cover I bought for it over it while not in use, it should last for quite a while.  I mean, I just didn't want to spend $500 on a smoker.  For that kind of money, I could buy a welder and make my own.  Someday, I will have a shop with a welder and an acetylene torch set up, among other things.  "Someday" I'll be retired or dead and won't have the grind of working anymore.  Until then, I am resolved to a life of working away, attempting to gain enough to get a distance between poverty and a decent standard of living.  I have to say honestly, that sometimes I don't want to do anything. Just quit, go find a cave and live in it. 

But I figure cave dwellers have it harder than truck drivers, so I'll pass on that one, lol.  I have up close and personal view of what it is to live off of the government.  They have enough to live off of if you are doing it the way they are, but it's hardly a desirable lifestyle and neither one of them - room mates - want to live in the condition they are in.  The guy would far rather be working - he spent his entire life working his ass off and making excellent money only to lose it all to unfortunate circumstances.

That's kind of what gets me going about working all your life, saving up your fortune and then what?  You die. Someone else gets it and you are in a grave.  I really must get my entire focus back on the Lord.  I have been distracted and I have been paying for it.  You get this empty feeling, like you are missing something in your life.  I figured that one out quickly.  People equate a relationship with the Lord to religion.  I can tell ya, there is a vast difference between the two. 

Well not going to get preachy here.  I can think of numerous things that I could be doing with my life that would serve the kingdom more than working a job and what?  Just living?  It doesn't really offer an fulfillment.  At least on the mission field - even tho I was working my @$$ off and not getting paid for it - I had a great sense of fulfillment, belonging and the realization that I was doing something for the Kingdom of Heaven.  Even after I left the mission field, I was heavily involved in evangelization. It was the first divorce that threw my life into upheaval and I'm afraid I've never really resurfaced from it.  I'm treading water, I guess I would call it.  Certainly not walking on it.

Well, enough. 

Fitful sleep. I could easily have left out of here at 4am and been 200 plus miles down the road by now.  Just need to get home and get a night's sleep in my own bed.  I have no idea yet what the plan is for us new drivers.  Not necessarily in a big hurry to have anything happen this weekend.  But, if it's what is required, then I'll just do it and deal with it.  Actually, since we filled out a log book for this over here, I'll have to get a 34 hour reset anyway. I'm pretty much guaranteed not to have to do anything til Sunday at the earliest.

Anyway, leaving the hotel for the last time, load up the car, get over to the terminal, get my PPE equipment and head out.  Like, not wasting time at that terminal.  Thanks for everything, but I needs be getting home now, thanks.

I suppose when I get home I'll put that smoker together. 

As it stands, I was looking up how to refinish solid wood floors. That is a job.  I mean, the instructions say you have to sand it 3 times with various grit sandpaper before it's ready. Well that living room is huge.  The floor looks like hell though. It's looked bad since I first moved in there, I just would like to get it looking a little better in there.  It would probably cost a small fortune to pay an experienced contractor to do it, or even a person that knows how to do it on the side.  Kinda just thinking about that at the moment.  I definitely don't have time to be sitting there sanding that entire floor down 3 times. 

Not a big priority, either.  Not if it's going to cost a lot of money.  I would really like to get a newer vehicle. I am very much tired of driving this old car.  9 years worth.  It's served me well, I can't complain about that.  But the interior continues to fall apart on it, gauges don't work, it's getting close to 200k miles.  Really would like to get a nice, used pickup.  I wouldn't really like to get into payments tho, unless it's like a 2 year plan, 3 at most. 

These deals where they are putting people into 7 plus year payment plans is a bit ridiculous. How much interest do you have to pay for the life of the loan? Plus you have to have full coverage insurance.  You'd really have to buy a brand new vehicle to make it worth that, and we all know that new vehicles lose thousands of dollars worth of value the moment you drive it off the dealer's lot.

On the wish list, I'd really like to get a couple more ATV's and take people out riding.  There are some great places within `15 to 35 miles of  the house for riding in mud, trails, along rivers, etc. 

Anyway, just dreaming at this point.  I really need to get my mind focused on this new job. There is still a lot more to learn and I need to see if I"m really going to be making as much as is claimed.  Speaking of money, the last employer hasn't paid me my final pay.  2 pay periods have skipped by and nothing. I wrote the comptroller who didn't reply. I then wrote the owner last night, who actually did reply.  He said he would look into it promptly. Thank you!

Well, this rodeo is over. 
I: have no idea why they are keeping us here until tomorrow morning to hand us our PPE (hard hat, gloves, etc.), but I would have stayed another night anyway.  We didn't get off until 5, I don't see any great reason to drive through the night to get home, so it's whatever. 

Well, excepting I could have gotten up early and left out of here around 4 or 5 am and be home relatively early  You see, I have no clue what's happening next.  I mean, are they going to try to send us out as soon as we get back? Do we get a day off?  What? 3 out of 6 of us are from the same terminal, one of them we have become buddies.  He tried contacting the manager several times, she hasn't responded. 

She is busy traveling, tho.  The company sent her to somewhere in Pennsylvania for training.  This company is big on training.  It must be rich, too. They pay high wages.  They have very high dollar equipment. They are paying us .41 cents per mile to drive here and back.  That's over $400.  I will have spent maybe $125 on fuel - and that is over estimating - by the time I get back.  I'm not complaining, but this must be the reason people love working for this company.  I'm staying at a hotel that online is $109 per night. That's not a luxury hotel, but it isn't the Roach Inn either. 

Actually the hotel is very nice. It's the rude people going in and out of their rooms at all hours of the night, slamming their doors that pisses me off.  I finally got 6 straight hours of sleep last night and that was the end of that.  I will enjoy my final night here, regardless.  No point in showing up before 8 over there, the personnel I need to see won't be there before then.  There is one person that said they were there at 5:00 am.  Wow, guess you get to get off early! No.  Oh.  Yes, she said, I get 3 day weekends in return.  Now THAT is nice.

I won't be seeing any of that. That's for sure.  In fact, there is talk of us having to go out with a trainer for several weeks to learn the ropes.  This isn't the way they have done it in the past and I can tell ya, I"m not interested in spending that much time in that small of an area with a total stranger. At the same time, what we learned here? Did not train us how to hook up to huge tanks at the plants and how to operate the valves.  I obviously need to learn that. If it means being with another person for a while, I'll suck it up and go with it.  They may not like it either - tho I am sure, gauging from the way this company treats it's employees, they will be rewarded nicely for doing so.

There is one guy in particular that is retiring next year that I would love to have as a trainer.  He knows literally everything there is to know about this business.  This is some technical stuff here, hence the claims of 80k and up per year.  There is a lot of tedium and a LOT of paperwork.  I found it amazing listening to the payroll manager that drivers are leaving a lot of money on the table in regards to Detention Pay.  I don't expect to be leaving anything on the table.  If I'm at a plant longer than an hour and a half, I'm getting paid an hourly wage to stay there.

And from her description, there are many instances where you are held up.  I don't mind that as long as I'm getting paid for it.  \

Anyway, it was kind of surprising today when he announced there are only two tests left. I have taken more tests in a short period of time than I can ever remember even in high school.  In relation to a week's time anyway.  40 of them? 

Well, start a new chapter in the rather extended book of my life.  I am going to try to simply embrace it and move on with life. Meanwhile, see if there's a nice movie on TV. I'm impressed with this hotel, they have a lot of cool channels. 

I got up early this morning. Slept 6 straight hours and I knew that is all I would be getting, attempting to get back to sleep in this hotel would be a futile waste of time.  At least, when I can get up, take a long hot shower, get some of that good coffee they leave in the rooms and get the day ticking. 

The instructor was asked again yesterday how long we will be staying, he ignored the question again. However, later on, he said something about "it took longer this morning than expected, we are a little behind schedule".  I'm ready to get out of here.  I might be here until Saturday, I dunno (that's how long they have the room reserved for), but if I could get out of here today or even tomorrow, I'd be plain happy to get in that old car and drive straight home.

Which is what I intend on doing anyway, unless we get out of class and it's like 5 pm.  That would mean driving all night and I would just stay another night here instead of doing that. Get up early, like 4 am and start the drive home, be home by noonish.

I can't even try to figure that out yet, though.  He had originally said perhaps Thursday we would be done, but that was the first day we were here and no one has heard a peep yet.  How much more training could there possibly be?  I'm sure endless if they wanted to.  He has a huge rack of CD's he keeps pulling from.  Mandatory training as specked by the Feds, who can audit them for the information and review even the test results. 

So, anyway, I'm quite sure today will be a 5 o'clock day and then? Perhaps get out early tomorrow?  I dunno what the point of keeping people in the dark about that is.  We have personal lives, we'd like to be able to schedule them.  I have stuff to do at home, even if it's only home a day, I can manage it to get the most out of it and get stuff done. 

I'm half tempted to get a Starbuck's this morning, there is one on the way to the facility.  I've got plenty of time.  A nice, venti skinny vanilla latte, extra hot.  I don't do Starbucks much anymore because their prices for a glorified cup of coffee are outrageous.  Those people that support the place? Good for them. I'd rather see them go out of business and have just local mom and pop shops all over the place.  In fact, it would be a great business to go into if it could be lucrative. But with a Starbucks nearby, well they dominate the market. Wonder how much it costs to open up a Starbucks franchise, if they do, indeed, franchise? 

Best have a business degree to enter a situation like that.  Which I don't, obviously, have.  I'm always thinks what I could be doing versus what I am doing. 

Anyway, I think I'll be off of here and make that stop. 

Okay Wednesday is officially over, as far as work.  I mean, getting near bed time too.  I didn't sleep worth a crap last night.  People slamming doors all night long. What on earth is wrong with these people? No respect for the sleeping, at all.  I'm a light sleeper, I had thought about bringing my box fan with me for the noise, but I left it home for Addler instead.  He sleeps in my room every night whether I'm there or not, I just wanted some kind of normalcy for him.  I would have gone out and bought one today, but it totally escaped my mind.

By the time it was time to get out of there, I was done. 8 more hours of endless videos, technical stuff, the endless paperwork related to Hazmat that I never knew existed, tests tests and more tests.  I'm serious, we've done 30 tests by now. Someone in the group asked the trainer again today, are we going to be done tomorrow? No answer.  What are you doing to do, demand one? I will take whatever answer he gives, even if he says Saturday, but please tell us when this is going to be over with. I will then have a goal. 

I'm assuming until Friday. If we go through Friday and no word, then I'm going to get involved with this. Naaaah, I don't think so, actually. We are being paid $22 per hour for this, I hate it because it just gets agonizing, monotone voices on videos gets old quickly.  But, I am going to get a paycheck for last Friday through whatever we are working this week.  The company I quit did not deposit my final paycheck in my bank account and I have not received a paper check. So, I contacted the comptroller via email a few minutes ago.  When am I going to see my final paycheck?  I'll let that one ride until after tomorrow. 

Anyway, the technical stuff is getting far more involved.  No idea what was involved in hazmat driving and especially transferring chemicals from a plant to a truck and a truck to a plant.  Not to mention the rules of hazmat driving. You can't just pull over to the side of the road.  You can't drive down county roads or anything but Interstates and US highways.  If you are caught blowing a railroad crossing, 10k fine. 

And a bunch of other stuff that was rather surprising to hear - but considering the damage a tanker full of this stuff can do, I can't blame anyone for putting this kind of excessive regulatory  process on the people that are transporting this stuff.  So, I'm just toughing it out and waiting for the real, hands on training which won't happen until I get back to my town and get into a truck, apparently with one of the seasoned drivers, and spend weeks in there with him.  Gag.  That wasn't anything I was told at the beginning either.  I was informed that we would just get into our own trucks and follow an old timer to any given site to learn that way. 

Kinda confusing on that one. I'm not really interested in spending weeks in such a confined space with anyone.  My dog, sure, no one else. This company has a no animal policy, but I gave up on that idea anyway. Addler is definitely not a travelling dog.  He's much better off staying home without me. 

Every company has their ups and downs, hearing that you can easily make 80k per year was enough for me today.  And the payroll lady going over benefits. And another lady sitting there saying that literally millions of dollars per year are lost wages for drivers who don't report detention pay.  It's just a matter of filling out a form with limited information. You arrived at the gate at X time and got out of that gate at Y. If it goes over an hour and a half, it's detention pay.  I mean, what's one more block on a sheet you already have to fill out anyway for money?  It's about $1,538 gross pay, every paycheck to make that kind of money. 

Oh, I was given a fuel card today.  1 other driver was as well, the others weren't.  No idea if that meant anything, well to me that means I definitely have a job.  You're not issue fuel cards so you can be sent home because they don't want you there.  Dunno what that means for anyone else. 

And a strange phone call today.  My dad left my mom some sort of IRA worth some money to mom that he had started long ago.  I didn't know that until today, since mom called asking for information about it.  She needs the date of his death to proceed forward.

Thoughts came gushing into my mind.  My mother despised my dad. Literally, no opportunity spared to trash his name and his character to the point that one day, a few years ago, I told her I didn't want to hear that shit anymore. He's my dad, I understand you despise him, I don't.  But he's such a bad man that she's going after this money?  I have some very ill feelings about this.  I mean, I have been listening to hear for decades speak vile things about him. It never swayed my opinion about my dad, and I told her so, but to "take" money from him now? After all the shit she has continuously spouted off about him? 

Whoa! It just occurred to me that dad left my brothers a life insurance policy as well. They also have absolutely despised him.  Are they taking this money from him as well? I'm going to wait and see if my mom goes through with all of this and then yes, I am going to bring this up into her face if she receives the money.  He's such a terrible man, but you are collecting from him on a policy that he paid for, for you, all these years?  These are the types of things that will cause me to write off my own family. I have already gone there with my middle brother, but this type of shit will seal the door shut on the other 2 if they go through with this. 

Well, life never gets easier.

I got here - 509 miles later, got into my room, decided to run down the road and get something to eat.  I got to the bottom stop, dropped my phone and walaah.  Screen is ruined.  It was already cracked, but now it's dead in the water, I can't use it at all.  I'm pretty darn lucky I brought this laptop with me, number 1 and number 2, that they have free wifi here or otherwise I would be dead in the water.  I got that phone on long enough to see the address of the place I need to go to tomorrow and then the screen just went into a bunch of lines.  The phone itself is still working, I was glad to see that, it's just a bad screen.  

Hopefully I will be able to get it replaced tomorrow.  I mean, like as soon as they let us out, I'm already going to have directions to the nearest place that is open.  I'd bring my laptop to help with that, but since no internet without the phone, it will be useless. Just need to write down directions tonight and hope I find a good place that will get it done.  I mean, it doesn't take long for them to replace a screen, I know that from experience.

The trip here was unenventful, thank God. That car is getting old, it's got lots and lots of miles on it.  It's got problems too, but so far, the engine and tranny haven't given me any problems.  That thing will still cruise 90 mph without batting an eye.  I got in behind a guy that passed by me in Dallas and just so happened he was going the entire 300 plus miles up to Amarillo and who knows where beyond that.  I won't normally take the lead in speeding on highways cause of having a CDL, but I definitely wanted to get this trip over with.  

I've got 11-1/2 hours before I have to be over there in the morning, so I have time to relax, another big Thank God for that.  It's whatever.  I wouldn't have been able to use cell phone in class anyway.  But I please do not want to go through an entire week without it.  

Guess I'm a bit more dependent on the electronics age than I care to admit. And of course, in my haste to get out of the house I forgot my bible.  Plenty of online version, just find it a more stimulating experience to have a paper book in front of me.  I seem to be hitting brick walls alot, I need to understand why all of this is happening.  I don't, at this point, feel very good about this situation either.  Like it's just not the right move.  But I'm here, I'm going through their orientation and I'm going to drive their trucks for a while whether I like it or not.  If I made a mistake, I'm just going to have to live with it for a while. 

I'd very much rather be in business for myself.  I have always wanted to anyway, but it's a much greater desire now, and no that doesn't including owning my own truck.  I don't care anything about trucking, I just do it to earn a living.  Just after today, I realized how tired I am of driving.  Most any driving. Not quite as bad in a car, especially when I can fly down the highway, but stuck in a truck all day long?  It's just not my cup of tea anymore.  Life might not be too much fun for a while lol.

I'm going to have to figure out how to just talk all of this coming at me with a grain of salt. Shrug my shoulders, move on.  I used to have that down pretty good, just too much going on this year.  Dad dying wasn't the greatest news.  Mom having glaucoma that incompetent eye doctors missed - and therefore is going to lead to her being blind - wasn't so great either. Caleb's wedding was a very bright spot in all of that tho.  

I spent a good portion of the drive thinking about my mom tho.  I mean, at some point, she is going to need assisted living.  In fact, knowing mom and how much she enjoys the mountains and the views, and the idea that she is eventually going to lose her sight?  I don't want to speak on her behalf, but at her age I'm guessing the zest of life may leave with her eyesight going away.  The thing that is really eating at me is that she went to the eye doctor, faithfully,l as often as they said to. They "missed" it.  When she moved to Mesa, her new eye doctor about had a cow when he discovered she had glaucoma AND found out she had been going to an eye doctor for years.  How does this guy find it first time and these other ass***** miss it all that time?  

It pisses me off.  My thoughts, though, really are going to that day if this assistance is needed. I am not going to see my mother hauled off to some shit hole place where people are screaming for help 24 hours a day and lunatics and all the rest of it. I have spent enough time visiting those places, they are hell holes.  I get now why she's getting rid of everything.  She's taking it better than I am. But, she is resigned to the fact that she is too old to do much of anything about it.  She could literally sue that office for a lot of money - enough that she could just have a person living with her - but she isn't there yet.  I understand her reluctance to get involved in such things. She just wants to enjoy life.  

You see, that has eaten at me in recent times far more than this job situation.  But, there are so many things at so many angles it's just getting very stressful.  With all this stuff coursing through my brain, the last thing I want to do is sit through 5 days of listening to people droning on and on about whatever. That's a lot of talking, 40 hours worth.  I know they have valid reasons for it, I get that. I'm just going to have to dig deep and get through all of this.  

But you know? I started that last job and it went to s*** quickly.  So many things that just aren't going right.  What am I doing wrong here?  I'm not looking for a pity party here. I'm just writing out my thoughts.  It helps me figure things out - sometimes anyway.  

You know, and then there's Thanksgiving and Christmas. Those 2 days may or may not be off, from what I read you have to be available up to the day and the days after.  It's a safe bet new drivers are going to get dumped with anything like that.  Really wanted to go visit mom at either Thanksgiving or Christmas.
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Now Monday night.  Almost 9 pm at that.  I never knew how addicted I had become to cell phones.  I am going to have to deal with that.  24 hours without one felt like going off a drug  Tho there were legitimate reasons. The phone rang, the text messages were coming, but I couldn't answer the phone and I couldn't see the texts much less see who was sending them. I'm concerned about Donny at this point and I was really getting antsy about being in that classroom all day long without having any idea who was texting or calling me or why.

In fact, I still need to call my house in Phoenix back, totally spaced that.  I dunno what's going on there, but I've received 3 phone calls.  So, I guess I best pause this entry and find out what's going on......

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And now Tuesday night.  Well, evening.  Today wasn't near as bad as Monday.  I slept better last night, even though I kept waking it, it was much better than Sunday night.  The mattress is plain too hard and I just keep waking up.  Probably some of what is going on in my life isn't helping, either.

Anyway, Rene is home now so at least the dogs have someone there that really shows them a lot of attention, which Addler is very much in love with the idea of endless attention.  I'm very much relieved she is there, actually.  First off, Donny's health and then second off, if something happens to him, the dogs being taken care of.

Anyway, 16 hours of training so far, with at least 16 more to come, possibly 24.  I kinda won't care about 24 more at this point, it's another day of paid training, which would make 6 days on a paycheck.

New Job Start Date: November 12, 2017

I'm not really sure what I am feeling now.
In about an hour I will be taking off out of here, headed for Amarillo.
I am looking at it as part vacation, since I will be holed up in a hotel that is, allegedly and from what I could see online of it, a pretty nice place. I wouldn't want to live in a hotel, but stays at the nicer ones are definitely fine by me.  I'm sure the reality of learning videos and listening to people drone on and on all day long will equalize that, tho.  I'm guessing tests as well.

There were multiple tests at the place on Friday, all of which, of course, you must pass with X amount of them correct or fail.

Addler understands now that when the suitcase comes out, I'm going somewhere.  He's not particularly in love with the suitcase lol.

I did not get the smoker put together yesterday, after everything I did in the morning and the afternoon, I decided that was enough for one day, I need a little bit of rest at least before going on this trip.  In fact, all these days off, really have been doing this and that and the other thing.  I had hoped for at least 2 consecutive days where I could just do nothing, but I can't complain too much.  I got time here and there to relax.

Welp, I have less than an hour to go here.  Not exactly sure why, but I am kind of nervous.  Not really sure why, tho I was having some dreams last night about this particular job and what it entails and they weren't pleasant dreams.

I really think it's just that the idea of being on the road all the time isn't particularly appealing to me.  Yet, here I am and this time I'm gonna have to stick this one out for a while.  Not going to look good on my resume to see that I started and quit too many jobs without sticking it out at one give place for at least a year.  Maybe longer.  I dunno. I'm going to write my start date down - which they are proclaiming as the 12th of November, 2017 (in case I lose the start date somewhere, there it is lol).

Which would be today actually.  Hmm, well all well and fine by me.  I'm being paid to drive over there plus mileage plus gas.  Plus per diem, plus hotel.  Can't really complain about that.  The TWIC card I applied for the other day is also going to be reimbursed and the time spent in class on Friday as well.  At least I'm on a time clock somewhere and getting paid right now.  My paycheck was not direct deposited on Friday, I am assuming because I quit that I am going to get a paper check sent in the mail.  I will give them until around Tuesday to get that to me before I decide to start making phone calls.  They owe me, in total, about $1,500 before taxes.

I am not broke, thankfully but I will be needing that money soon enough.  At least I am not having to pay for extraneous things off of credit cards, get that hemorrhaging stopped.  I really tried not to use them too much, but some situations I had no choice. That is what got me to getting up and getting out of my old job.  If you can't pay your basic bills and have some left over, you are not working at the right place.

Anyway, I need to finish packing, take a quick shower and get ready to get out of here.

Okay then.
That took far longer than I expected.
The brakes to begin with. Driver's side was a breeze, 10 minutes or even less and I was done with it.
The other side? When the tire shop put the pretty little chrome pieces back onto the lugs last time i was over there, they used an air wrench on it.  Like, this are just for decorations, they don't need to be on there that tight. Two of them twisted trying to get them off of there.

I finally got one to budge and off, the other? Not so lucky.  I ended up having to get my torch and heat the thing up several times before destroying it and getting it off of there.  After that, it takes literally 5 minutes to get the brakes off and the new ones back on.  That's why I just laugh at the prices shops want to charge for brakes, or them coming along telling you the rest of everything is else bad and you're going to get into a bad accident if you don't replace all of it.

BS.  I've been replacing brakes since I was 16 years old. Even if the rotors are damaged from metal on metal -you can still put the pads on there if the damage isn't too bad and yes, your brakes will work. The pads will have grooves edged into them from the uneven surface on the rotor and they won't last as long, but yes, they will still work.  In this case, there was only one pad that had just started to wear metal on metal on one end of the pad, no signs of anything on the rotor.  $18 job.

So, anyway, I decided to clean out the trunk.  Lots of stuff in there, too much.  Got all of it out of there, went through all of it, threw out 2/3rds of it and only put back in tools and such for if something happens while on the road and there is a fix I can do without taking it to a shop.  Vacuumed that out, cleaned out the inside of my car, put the floor mats in the washing machine and walaah, I'm done with that.  Went to Lowe's to get more rat traps, went to Chili's for a bit of lunch, went to the liquor store for booze for the tenants. Don't judge me too harshly. They are in pain, 24 hours a day, their access to meds is limited, they are poor and alcohol does help relieve the pain.

I'm not making stories up to encourage alcoholism.  I've been watching this with them for a couple of years now.  They are truly disabled.  Anyway, came home, built a fire. Sat down and did nothing for a couple of hours.  Thinking, mostly.  Lots of thinking in these days. If I would have just done....this and that... when I was younger, I would be in a much different place right now.  Lamenting, but to myself, no one else. Well, writing about it on my blog, but it is my blog, so there is that.  Trucking is hardly the easy life. Just the hours you put in is enough in itself. 

Anyway, another load of laundry and I am done with that. Since I am taking my car, I'm taking big suitcase and loading it up.  I have no idea how long I will be gone.  I'm assuming, providing I pass whatever courses I am taught, that when I get back, I will be put in a truck and sent out.  They aren't spending this money on me to have me go home and sit and I need a paycheck so we are both in need here.  They are turning away loads to the only other company that hauls this stuff out of here locally and they want to eliminate that. In fact, they want to take over this entire portion of the industry, the only way they are doing that is to hire several more drivers. 

I'm looking forward to getting some hazmat tanker experience in, get some money saved up and eventually ask to transfer over to their local gas hauling position.  Or not.  Just don't know.  Anyway, I have to clean my room, get my suitcase packed and I'm done and ready to go.  Leaving out of here around 10:00 am tomorrow.  It's 500 miles to Amarillo here - a bit further than I first thought. But I can average 80 mph - yes I can do that and I have done that before, in fact I did it on both trips to Arizona earlier this year. That entails getting into the car and driving until you need fuel, not driving until you feel like stopping.  Monday morning will roll around and I will be at the place at around 7:30 am.  Meet whoever, get the classes rolling folks, I want to get this stuff over and behind me. 

But I really do want to learn, tho.  This isn't a milk tanker or a water tanker, this is some of the most volatile chemical that exists that is hauled in tankers.  I would rather listen and learn about all of it. And since I am getting paid $22 per hour to learn all of this, that takes the pressure off of paychecks.  Not to mention I was informed the hotel is awesome. 

Oh! I found a long lost Bible in the trunk of my car. Kind of embarrassed to say it had that much stuff in it.  It was in the very back of the trunk.  The trunk in that car is huge.  It is very much nicer now, vacuumed out and good to go.  The Bible was in it's original case I bought it, in perfect condition. 

Alright, well, that's enough I guess. I didn't get to putting the smoker together, but it's still kinda early. I might drag it out back at least and take a look at how many screws and what-not it has.  Or not.  Rene was wanting me to put it together for turkey dinner - but Thanksgiving is still 2 weeks off.  So, yeah, not big rush on that.  Well, I can see her point even tho she didn't say it.  Who knows what kind of time I might have after all of this training is over with?  They likely going to have trucks for us and get us on the road.  Cheneire is likely the first place - that is what I trained for yesterday.  It's the short run and most drivers don't like it that much.  I'm a newbie, so I'll take whatever, but please get me enough miles in to get some decent paychecks, that was the whole point of this. 

I don't know about Thanksgiving, but from what I read, Christmas Day is an off day at this place. But, before and after that? Yeah, not so much and I'm guessing new drivers will get the s*** and tenured drivers will get less.  It's cool.  I may not like it - I'm sure I won't - but I had a purpose in going with this company and I just need to try and keep my eyes on the goal. 

The last time I was making this kind of money, I was taking home $1,100 after taxes.  That's around $300 more than I was taking home for a two week paycheck at the old place  That was biweekly, this is weekly. 

I've really been just trying to get myself readjusted to life on the road. That last rat race job certainly thrust me right back into it. 

And with that, I think I'll end this one.

Error on yesterday's post. Cheneiere is not down in Louisiana, it is down near Houston, TX.  Not sure how I got that confused.  Apparently the trip is just far enough and long enough in time that a driver cannot drive down there, get unloaded and make it back up to Longview before you have to take your 10 hour break.  The other guy that was there yesterday has some friends that are working here and have been going on 2 years I guess.  They liked it so much they have been trying to get him to come over for quite a while.

Well it is what it is.  I don't care that much about being stuck in a truck, as long as it isn't all I'm doing for weeks on end. I need time off as well, just like everyone else.  It does get you back to the terminal more often, short trips like that, but that doesn't guarantee that you are going to go home for a night after making such a trip.  Home always seems over-rated - until you are away from it for a while.  Then you start missing it greatly.  I saw a driver that had come back to the terminal the other day, the manager was trying to talk him into taking another load. He was like: "I need to go hoooome".

I don't expect that aspect of this job to be any different than the last job. I'm not going into it with that mindset. I just figured, along with all the other junk that the last job was engaging in, if I'm going to do this, I might as well make money at it.  The dude I was talking to yesterday said his friends are around 75 to 80k per year.  It becomes obvious you can make more than that, but you would have to be of the "driving fool" class of drivers. The kind that doesn't care if they spend their entire lives out there on the road.

There was a day and a time when I was like that.  I was out for weeks at a time, sometimes months. There was nothing at "home", really.  I mean, there was but the allure of the open road, at the time, was appealing. Long before all the regulations and CDL licenses and rules and all the unbelievable amount of big brother junk that is what is going on now. I literally could get away with driving as long as I wanted.  Many drivers had 3 log books going to keep up with it.  But, look.  You're 100 miles from home, you ran out of hours.  You're wide awake, you're still fit to drive, but the government says no, you can't.

That's it in a nutshell.  Because of some accident at some point in time, these things come about.  You shouldn't be texting while driving, I'll agree with that one.  At least, not the finger pushing version of it.  But, blue tooth enables you to text simply by voice commands and speaking into a microphone.  Same with talking on the phone, of course.  That's legal.  Tho the feds were discussing doing away with talking on the phone at all, which would piss off a lot of drivers both company and owner operator version.

That is my argument. Some people can multi-task and some cannot.  I don't believe that truck driving is a career that is good for a person that can't. There are too many things going on in that cab that sometimes all occur at once.  In the 2 road tests I have taken now in the last few months, it became apparent to me that the person administering the test wanted to "distract" with conversation while seeing if you could do everything else at the same time and still be comfortable doing it.  I was being asked questions while told to do this and that on the road - the questions were apart from the driving. Such as the person filling out paperwork and asking your phone number, driver's license number etc.  I really think that is all on purpose, looking back at it.  Are you comfortable in this position?

Well, 2 days ago, some dude was at the terminal of extreme self-importance - that became obvious after listening to him for 2 or 3 sentences.  Every place has at least one of those.  He asked me and the other guy if we had ever pulled tankers before.  I have already stated, quite plainly and openly, that I have not, to the manager and her manager also knows this.  So, for me, I don't need to answer that question again. If they didn't think I was qualified, I wouldn't be getting sent to orientation starting Monday.  There are definitive nuances to pulling tankers, that I will agree with, but this dude was more intent on appearing to attempt to certify that we were qualified for the job.

I just sort of ignored him. The other guy was engaging him.  After they were done he looked at me.  I just gave him a blank stare back. I don't know him from Adam, he never announced his position and the manager of the manager was sitting 2 feet away from me, he was obviously the "big" dude in the house.

Anyway, tanker pulling dangers are found in stopping and going around turns.  That liquid moves around in that big tank and it's a lot of liquid.  You have to slow down in a measured, easy going fashion that doesn't get the liquid to slamming up against the front of the trailer and thusly - literally pushing you out into traffic at a stop light or stop sign. I've never seen it happen but the reports of it happening are numerous.

Now, I've come across numerous accidents while driving that were the obvious result of going around a turn too fast.  Some of them horrific. Earlier this year there was one that started into a cloverleaf turn too fast and ended up rolling 100 feet down the embankment.  Whatever was in the trailer was all over the place down there.  I dunno what happened to the driver.  Another was killed just down the road from my 12 year job.

Anyway, moving on, I can't just keep jumping around from job to  job.  I'm going to have to stick with this one for a while unless, somehow, it turns into the shit show the last one did.  I don't see that happening. I've observed how management deals with repair problems, I've seen how drivers interact with the manager and each other, I haven't heard any serious complaints.  So, if I actually start to hate it, oh well, deal with it. The only reason i would do that is if they don't let me go home on something of a regular basis.  Regular could be once a week and I'll just have to be happy with it.

It's somewhat early Saturday morning.  Just got up a while ago. Addler decided he was going to sleep with me last night, which he hasn't done in quite a while.  He takes up 2/3rds of the bed lolol.  I don't really like doing that, but the dog has had me gone for periods of time and Rene is gone now too.  He's a bit unnerved by all of this.  He'll get used to it eventually.  Rene will be back on Tuesday.  So there'll be over 2 days neither of us are here and Donny is going to have to deal with the dogs.  He'll do it, no doubt.  I'm just concerned about the man's health.

Well, I need to prioritize the day and get busy.  I think I'll get the brake job and cleaning out the car done first.  Just something I don't want to do, so letting that hang out there isn't a good idea. Get it over with, done and move onto the next thing. If they cell shop repair dude is going to be there today, 've needed a new screen on this thing for 2 plus weeks now. Just haven't caught the guy there when I've stopped in.

The rest of what needs to be done is just cleaning and a trip to Lowe's to get more rat traps. We've caught something like a dozen of them in the last two weeks. They're trying to get in because of the cold.  When I get some money saved up, I really want to have some pro's come out here and seal this place up to keep them out.   Until then, these glue traps and this bottled stuff you find at Lowe's - it attracts the rats to the trap - is working. Just seems to be an endless stream of them tho.  I dunno where the snakes are, but they need to start doing their job lol.

Lovely day.
Got up at 5:08 am, got my shower, coffee, dogs outside, back in, left. 
Got to the place and they were - closed.  I almost just turned around and drove home.
Now? I wish I would have.
We were informed that if we were there later than 6:30, the class starts and they won't let you in.
I sat across the road - they have gates from letting any vehicles in there at night.
A vehicle shows up at 6:25 am, opens up the gates and away we go.

At 7:00 am, all 5 of us in that class got the privilege of listening to a man sitting in the front left corner of the classroom, talking in a very slow, monotone voice.  We listened to that for - 5 hours.  One guy fell asleep, replete with snoring.  Cellphones weren't just banned from the classroom, they were banned from the building.  I can understand why.  I would have been fiddling with mine off and on throughout that presentation.

95% of what was taught had absolutely nothing to do with what we were there for. It was called "Basic Plus" and it's a generic safety course that covers everything under sun, moon and stars.  There was a 50 question test after those 5 hours, I passed that and then went on to the next thing we had to do.

The next thing is a training course to be able to get a pass to get into a place called the Cheneire Sabine Pass terminal in Louisiana.  This was a 2 hour and 45 minute, pre recorded presentation with fully 288 pages that it automatically clicked to after finishing a page.  The presentation was like listening to the 5 hour presentation at the first class.  In all, I spent 9 hours there, learned everything about how Cheneire wants things done at their plant - such as digging trenches, locking out, etc etc etc.  Passed those question, got my tag and got out of there.

Getting on my cellphone, there must have been 20 text messages.  Donny and Rene. Both trying to get a hold of me: don't leave Longview!  I/Donny is in the hospital, being transported to Longview.  He would have no ride home and wanted me to stick around to give him one.  Which I would have done, of course, but after calling him, crisis averted.  He choked on a piece of chicken, finally had it pass and didn't need any further assistance. 

Well I'm burnt out.  11 hours of driving on the road has nothing over attempting to sit through all of this.  Just drains you dry of energy or even motivation. Like, go home, sit down and do nothing.  There was supposed to be 3 of us there, but 1 was a no show. The other dude, after the 5 hour stint, went out to lunch, You want to go? No thanks, I want to get this over with!  Yup, he got back well after I was into this nonsense and he obviously was there well after I was gone.  Nice guy though. Undoubtedly see him in Amarillo.

Well. I would say that I have tomorrow to recoup from this week, but I don't.  I have to replace brake pads on the car.  House work.  Laundry.  Whatever else.  Not really thinking about it right now. And, I didn't get a paycheck deposited in my account today.  I will guess that means they are sending me a paper check.  Don't care, really, but let's not play games here.  I haven't been out to the mailbox now that i think of it and I doubt Donny has been out there since Rene left, either.  Probably wouldn't show up until next week if that's how they're doing it.

Too tired to do any more of this today.

That wasn't anything what I expected. 
When I arrived at the new company today, I was handed another stack of papers to fill out and given instructions to go get a TWIC card and then, asked if I could attend a safety course tomorrow morning at another location in Longview - but not directly related to this company. 

Oh.  Ok.  I was thinking I would go there, drop off my paperwork, leave and get other things done today.  Instead, I stayed there for 2 hours, filled out the paperwork, headed home, got my birth certificate, went over to Shreveport, went through the process to get a TWIC card - which includes fingerprinted and numerous photos taken.  And a rather hefty fee, tho I am promised that I will be repaid for that.

After that, I decided since I was in Shreveport, I might as well get the oil changed on my old car for the upcoming trip to Amarillo. After that, back to my town, bought some brake pads for the car.  Headed over to the fire department office, got a fresh burn permit.  The leaves are falling.  I'm only clearing them off the concrete, I'm not raking those things up off the yard until it is pretty much over with. Then I will see if I can find someone on Craigslist to come over and help me rake the stuff up and burn it.  It's all too wet right now to burn anyway.  Not on the top of my priority list.  I have all this job stuff going on.

But, their hours are ridiculous.  Bankers hours at best.  It's a 3 month permit, I'll get this all done before it expires, I just wanted to get the thing. 

Oh, over to the bank to deposit rent money into owner's account.

After that, I came home, took a nap and then went outside and built yet another fire on my new fire pit and have been sitting out there for a couple of hours.  But, I haven't watched any news on tv lately, so I am writing this and then heading into the living room to watch some news and get up to date.  I like reading the news on the internet, sure, but it's not the same as seeing live interviews. They both have their merits.

I guess the point is, I didn't know I was going to be dumped with all this stuff at new work today.  Not getting paid for any of it.  I have to be AT the meeting at 6:30 am tomorrow.  They tell me if you're even a minute late?  Forget it, they won't let you in.  The first course is - I have no clue what it's for. The second course is for a company somewhere out west that requires you to go through their specialized course before you can enter their property.  A driver that went through it says it last 9 hours.

He was kidding around with other people, I hope he was joking.  I don't want to spend tomorrow at a safety meeting.  9 hours of what? Things that I have already learned about in my trucking career.  If these people think they have safety issues, they should try the mines.  Their safety programs are so excessive, but so many people get killed at mines that it's necessary and even with all that training on safety, people still get killed. 

The funny part, is that truck drivers don't really do much of anything in those plants.  They take the tank in, drop it and they are required to leave while it is being drained of it's contents.  You come back in when they call you and tell you it's done.  Doesn't bother me, those people doing that work undoubtedly have serious training to ensure that there are no accidents. I would have to guess multiple layers of supervision as well during the unloading process. 

Well whatever.  I'm done with this for today.  This being thinking about this job and trying to fulfill all of their requirements.  Much more than I had even thought there would be, certainly the most demanding trucking company in terms of documents to present, paperwork to fill out and requirements to be met that I have ever attempted to get into. Yet...one cannot complain that they are doing their duty to weed out any bad apples in thinking about pulling a trailer filled with this kind of product.

Well a lot.
I quit today.
I was already thinking of when to quit after I was informed I am scheduled for orientation in Amarillo on Monday. I wanted to get some miles in and have something of a paycheck. But, uh, yea.  I'm done with this company and it's lack of commitment to driver safety through having trucks and trailers in good condition - and - not giving a crap really whether it's that way or not.

I mean, after Donny contacted me today, I was already ready to go home anyway. Rene isn't there, he had a seizure - he has them sporadically, some jackass thieves tried to break in after that was over.  I'm like, what the heck?  He couldn't find my pistol, called the police and whoever they were were gone before police arrived.

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I started that a few days ago.  I got busy.  I was supposed to head to Arkansas with a load, but the trailer had bad tires on it.  So I contacted the dispatcher - this trailer needs a couple of tires installed on it.  Okay, head over to the yard, I'll contact them to let them know you are coming.  Cool, I replied, I'll get the truck loaded first.  So, truck loaded, I head to; yard.  They certainly weren't "ready" for me by any stretch of the imagination.  The head mechanic basically told me to wait my turn.  Fine, I thought, until i started looking at what they were working on and realized that nothing they were doing was of immediate importance, while what I have going is a load that needs to get on the road.

And after they got done with what they were doing? They went on lunch break. I was astonished.  Seriously?  The whole lot of you are going to go on lunch break all at once? I thought, didn't say, cause' at that point, I was thinking about simply leaving then and there.  I can't deal with a place that operates like this.  No wonder trailers have issues, who wants to pull one in there and have to waste that much time of their working day sitting around waiting for these people to get their act together.

So, I'm seriously contemplating just quitting instead of attempting to get a few more days in.  I haven't said anything to anyone yet.  Then, a dude pulls into the yard in a pickup, gets out, asks what's wrong with the trailer, I point at the dry rotted tires.  Oh.  I'm new here, in fact, this is my first day.  He disappears, comes back and starts removing the tires.  About the time, the dispatcher contacts me.  Umm, no, I"m over here at the yard, they don't even have the tires off yet.  Not to mention I don't see any replacement tires here anywhere.  He has a cow, apparently called them because in a few minutes, the whole lot of mechanics came out and started getting busy on my truck.

But it's still taking forever. And, they had to go get the tires? What kind of shop doesn't keep tires there?  lol that's when I said screw it.  I started getting my stuff ready to go. That took half an hour - figuring out how to get everything that's important to take back with me into my giant suitcase. Good thing I had that thing with me. I left the water bottles, the granola bars, the pillow and the sheets.  I might have lost $30 in things, but everything else I got crammed into my suitcase and another very small bag I was carrying with me. I just so happened I was removing my stuff from the truck when they finally told me - 2 hours later (yes, 2 hours to replace 4 tires!), that it was ready to go.

No thanks, I'm quitting this job, y'all can move this truck if you want yourselves.  They just stood there staring at me, but I didn't make any fuss, I am out of there. Went into see Dan, the recruiter.  Dan doesn't care about you after he has lured you into the place.  Which is kind of what I told him.  He asked me if I told anyone my concerns. Dan? I have sent you numerous emails, it's all in writing. To the owner as well. Texts and phone calls to my dispatcher.  Don't act like you don't know what's going on here.

But, that was obviously going to be a huge waste of time, so I just gave him the phone and the fuel card back, went out front and waited for my Uber ride to take me to a hotel in downtown Jackson, which is right across the street from the bus station.  Got there, paid more money for one night's stay than I have done in since I stayed at the Marriot in Scottsdale probably 10 years ago, found a restaurant, ate some dinner, went to my room and relaxed.  I decided I wanted to be able to get to the bus station by foot and not have to trust that I could get a ride there from some other motel at that early hour in the morning.  Oh, yes, I also got a bus ticket while I was out eating.  Between the hotel stay and the bus ride I spent about $200 getting back, so I can't really complain too much about that.  Airfare would have been much more expensive than the $71 I paid for the bus ticket and I still would likely have had to spend the night somewhere at a hotel.

Oh, yes, the hotel was the Hilton Rose Garden Inn.  It's an old brick building that Hilton apparently dumped a large amount of money into restoring it. It still needs some work, but it is a beautiful structure.  Everything there overpriced, of course, so I didn't eat there.

Fitful sleep that night.  Too much floating around inside my head.  But I did manage to get some shut eye in and figured I would want to sleep on that bus anyway. I hate Greyhounds and this Greyhound trip did nothing to change that view of them. You take the ride because it's cheap, not because you like taking Greyhound busses.  The cheapest flight tho that I could find - in a hurry anyway just using some of my favorite flight search engines such as CheapO Air, was $360.  Just no way I could justify spending that much money on a short flight.

Yet, the bus was everything I expected. The driver got in the bus, got on the horn and asked nicely for everyone to stop talking for a minute while he explained a few things.  The dude sitting behind me was yakking in Spanish incessantly on the phone and paying zero attention. The driver got his mirror, aimed it back at him while moving the bus slowly down the street, please pay attention.  Welp, we got to a round-a-bout and the driver stopped. If you don't stop talking I'm going to take you back to the terminal and dump you there.  That got his attention.  But only enough to decrease his voice volume so the driver couldn't hear him.  This man, did, actually, talk for two hours straight.  I put on my headphones shortly after the bus driver was done with his announcement, put on a Youtube video that plays the sound of a box fun running and went to sleep.

That is what I do on Greyhounds, I try to sleep through it so I am not in agony listening to other people's phone conversations - people talking obnoxiously loud, as if the entire bus wants to hear your phone conversation.  Somewhere mid way through the trip, the bus filled up and i was forced to allow someone to sit next to me.  I was fending them off at most stops  - not by saying anything but by having all my stuff in the seat next to me, basically sending a message.  Welp, this older gentlemen ended up sitting next to me - he smelled horrible.  My nose hair curled up into a ball and died.  It was disgusting.  Okay, I thought, another hour and a half of this and I"m home.  I just had to focus on getting there and getting this over with.  Just so gross though.

What goes through a person's mind when they are thinking, I"m going to take a trip, but hey, I'm not going to bath or even make any attempt to make myself smell good enough that other passengers won't be grossed out?

We finally pull into Shreveport - the bus driver has the same junk applied to him for a 30 minute break that truck drivers do, so we were forced to take what turned out to be a 45 minute break there.  No biggies, at least my nose wasn't being assailed with noxious fumes.  Finally back in the bus, same dude sits back down next to me, smell back in my nose.  40 minutes later, I'm standing in the pouring rain waiting for the bus driver to get my bag out from underneath the bus and I couldn't have cared less that I was getting drenched. It was so much better than sitting in that abomination in front of me.

Donny came rolling up in his pickup a few minutes later and I was home in no time.  We went out to eat, my treat.  Rene isn't here and I sure as heck didn't feel like cooking.  Got back from that and I built a nice fire in my brand new fire pit. It was 47 degrees outside, perfect temp to have an outdoor fire going and just sit and meditate. Life was never dealt the "easy" hand to most of us, I'm certainly not outside of that range.  It will be years before I have any real money saved up to even being thinking about retiring and that only if my health stays good enough to pass the 2 year physicals.  Most of us truck drivers worry about our blood pressure over anything, that's the one that gets a lot of us.  I did that the other day and it was at 121 over 71, so that's not bad.  Not as good as it could be, but not bad, either.  My vision was funny cause one eye 20/20 and the other is 20/30 - yet I still have to use reading glasses.  I dunno about the hearing test, hadn't done one of those in decades, actually.

Alright.  Well it's 8:00 am. I got up early - I went to bed early yesterday.  After the fire, I decided that Greyhound trip was enough for anyone's day, I can't even fathom doing across the country trips. The dude in front of me with his little boy was doing just that. He was obviously weary from being on the bus for a couple of days.  If I really had to do an across the nation trip for whatever reason, I would put a flight on my credit card before taking a bus that long, that's all I can say about it.  It'd be nice if they would let you purchase 2 seats and just have a whole space for yourself - the price tag would still be far lower than flying.

What i can say is that I am very happy that I'm driving my car to Amarillo on Sunday and not taking any busses.  They aren't sending us back in a truck so we have to have our own way there, which is fine by me.  Maps says it's over 7 hours.  I'll have that whittled down to 6 plus hours for the speed I drive at on Texas Interstates and knowing where the cops hide.

The car needs an oil change and the front brakes replaced.  I'm not going to do that today,  wait for the temps to warm back up.  Ummm, strike that. Just looked, the temps aren't going to warm back up at all.  Guess I'll have to sit out there and freeze putting brake pads on.  At least I have all the proper equipment now to be able to get it done efficiently. But I need to get over to Longview first and and hand over my newly minted 2 year medical certification to what will be my new manager. I think she has some more forms I need to fill out, too.  I'll get that done first and then I'll figure out when I want to do the brakes. Perhaps it will at least warm up this afternoon a bit.  I suppose I could get a fire in the pit going and just drag that thing close to where I'm working.  Hmm, now that sounds like a great idea : )

I'm really glad, tho, that I have a few days off before starting back into yet another job.  I'm going to be in Amarillo for a week "learning" and that is going to get boring.  I mean, yes, I'll try my best to stay attentive but class rooms aren't my thing.  Or at least, they weren't the last time I was in them. Still, there is likely important info I need to digest in hauling an extremely volatile chemical that can take out a city block if it did happen to somehow blow up, such as in an accident.  I have to tell you that I was kind of surprised this company took me on not having any tanker experience whatsoever.  I plainly, freely admitted that to the manager and everyone else there.  The only "objection" the manager put up was, well, you do know we're hauling highly volatile substance? Are you okay with that?  Yes, I'm fine.

I'm a safe driver.  I stay in my lane mostly and don't get in a big hurry.  I won't have to with this company at 51 cents per mile plus all the other pay that is included.  Actually, 1 longer trip per week would be fine by me and have the rest of the week off lol. I know that isn't going to happen, tho.  She said you get maybe one good trip a week and a couple shorter ones.  Doing that math, that's $1,500 just for the driving, which doesn't include the other pay you get.  Just that amount there is 78k per year.  Add on the other stuff you're well into the 80k range.  If you really want to drive, you can up it from there.

This job I just quit, i was making money, I'm not going to say I wasn't. Just all the stuff that I have already commented on made it a bad place to work.  I looked them up yesterday. They have doubled the size of their fleet in a year's time and are looking to double it again.  They can't even deal with what they have now, how do they expect to double it again and actually have an efficient operation going? But, I don't care at this point, just musing all the comments I heard from the other drivers in that company, only 1 of which was mildly content working there, the rest had complaints, a few of them "bitter" type of complaints.  No need to get bitter, just find yourself another job. There are plenty of them out there.  Regardless, even tho i was making money, I wasn't make as much as I'm fixing to start making.

Well, these are my daily musings. Okay, not so much daily.  I try to get on here in this circus act that is currently my life and report on the goings-on.  I need to get the rent into the bank for the owners of this house and since the fire ban has been lifted, I'm going to get a 3 month burn permit.  Not starting that today, but I have no idea whether I will have a chance down the road to get in there. They are only open during bankers hours, basically, I am not exactly in that mix right now.

Addler and Aspyn were greatly happy to see me come home yesterday.  Rene is gone, so the caretaker left is Donny.  Donny said he looked up Great Danes, because Addler was getting pushy for some of his attention.  Yup, they are people dogs. Probably every description you''ll find online will include some statement about how they want to be around people.  And they will get pushy for it. And if there isn't anyone around for a long enough period, they will get into trouble.  Prince, a Great Dane I used to have, was testament to that.  Oh, BTW, the spelling of "Aspyn" is correct.  At least, correct for the person the dog is named after, which was not my doings.  Aspyn Ovard, I believe is her name, of some fame that I have no knowledge of and don't really care, lol.

Well, it's early yet and I would like to get about the day's business.  Likely I'll be back on here writing again later as I collect my thoughts.

The amount of bs it takes to hire on to a new trucking company makes it compelling to simply stay where you are at regardless of how it is.
Well maybe not so much that, if the place you are sucks, you're going to get the high-horse out of there.  But it's ridiculous.  It's a truck, I'm not flying an airplane and I'm not buying a house. 

Let's start at the beginning of this.  With this company I am intending on hooking up with.  It was a 14 page application on the internet.  That's right. Very intrusive, too.  I mean, they want to know alot more about you than I think they really need to. 

Anyway, I didn't hear from anyone at my current job this morning.  I got up at 6:00 am, thinking I was going to get a call or texts with next load instructions. I sat there for a while and decided to take a shower and make a pot of coffee, figured that if I did that, that would somehow cause it to happen, lol.

It did not. So I called the prospective employer and asked what company does their drug screening and DOT phyisical?  Good Shepherd Occupational in Longview.  A short discussion and I said, okay thanks.  I sat and pondered a while.  Should I go for it? I mean, while I'm home and this company I am currently working for hasn't bothered to contact me at all?  I jumped in the car, drove over to my hopeful new employer.  It took her quite a while to go through numerous screens on her computer to select and print, explaining that she has to do this for everyone. 

When she finally got through pushing the "print" tab, she got up and went to the next office over.  The printer in there.  She handed me a pile of paper at least an inch thick.  What on earth is all of this? I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  Oh yes, I had to fill out all of this when I signed on I don't even know how to drive a truck and most of this is for truck drivers! 

Yes, of course it is. The most regulated industry in existence, I believe, the amount of bs you have to go through.  Well, I had gone there to get the paperwork to go to the DOT testing, but she handed me all of that too.  I called the place. We do physical from 8 to 11 and 1 to 3.  Ugh, it was almost 11 am.  I understood what today was going to be: shit.  haha, sometimes I have to laugh at myself.  I sat down at a table there - 2 hours to burn to go get the physical, not even knowing if current employer will call or text with - whatever - and spent an entire hour filling out paperwork.  Let me tell ya, I don't  take my time with that stuff, either.  I try to blaze through it - been doing it that way my entire life - and get it over with, meaning that I usually get done with something like that well before most other people would. 

Just saying. For it to take me an hour to go through all of that would mean many other people taking an hour and a half or even much longer depending on the person.  Ridiculous.  They don't need this much information to drive a freaking truck.  But I kept my mouth shut about that. I want this job.  It will give me the experience driving tankers and extremely volatile, hazardous chemical that will eventually get me to gasoline tankers and home.  Home every day type of home.  Or maybe I'll get used to it and just stay there.  Who knows. 

I filled all of that out, handed to her and left.  Arriving at the doc office, of course, even more  endless paperwork to fill out.  I expected it, though.  I took a seat after filling it out. A nurse eventually came through the door and called my last name, haha.  I was tired.  Dunno why but I woke up tired today.  And this kind of stuff beats me to death.  Paperwork and doctor's offices, a lethal combination.

Pee test. You have to take everything out of your pockets and put it into a basket. People try to get away with drug use by having a bottle of someone else's pee with them.  You go into the bathroom. The toilet lid is taped shut. The hot and cold water valves on the sink are taped shut . You can't flush the toilet.  The world we live in for urine tests.  Then, the lady says, well an audio test and you are done.

Umm, no? I'm here for a DOT physical, this is just the beginning. No, sir, this is all that is on that paperwork.  I picked up the paperwork, scanned through it, found where physical was checked off, no ma'am, it says it right here.  Oh no!  she replies, telling me there is a "pile" more paperwork you will have to fill out. My God in Heaven.  And sure enough  Pages and pages and pages of more junk. 

Ugh.  So, somewhere around that time, I finally get contacted by "my" company.  It's 2 texts from the dispatcher.  Not, hey how are you doing? It's the place where I am going to pickup and the place I am delivering - which I am sitting in their parking lot right now. I did not reply to him right away. If they are going to treat me like that, they are going to get the same treatment back at them.  The pickup appointment in Mount Pleasant wasn't until 5pm, which actually helped me because shit was going south here at this doc office.  After filling out all of that paperwork, I was taken to a room to wait.  And wait. And wait. A doctor finally came in 45 minutes later.  Long haired hippie dude, looked like a relic from the 70's.  Much older than enough to be from that era. 

He started to converse with me about getting this done and then noticed another guy in the room across from me. "You've been here alot longer then him, I need to take care of you first".  I'm like, what?  Okay, how long is this going to take?  I've already been waiting.  30 minutes for him and 30 minutes for you.  I can't do that  I have to get on the road and get to an appointment on time.  He just looks at me.  Fine, I'm going to have to finish this some other time

I walked up to the desk, lady asks if she can help me? I don't have time to finish this today. I've already been here an hour and a half for this. That doc told me another hour.  I have to go.  She says, wait for a minute, let me see if the other doc is available.  Well, long story short: other doc shows up, gets it over with in a few minutes, signs off on it Meanwhile, that other doc is still doing whatever with that other guy.

I literally run out of that office to my car.  I need to get home, deal with stuff, say goodbye to my dogs and get on the road.  Addler has this figured out now and knew right away I was leaving.  Starting jumping all over the place and getting all kinds of excited.  Donny took me in his pickup up to the truckstop, I wasted no time getting on the road. But it was funny, cause a broker had called and texted me - of which I ignored and the dispatcher also tried to call - of which I also ignored

I got the truck fired up, started rolling. Never did call the dispatcher back - hes ignored me for almost 5 days, let him have a taste of his own medicine. The broker I texted back - 30 minutes later lol. 

Anyway, things are moving along.  I expect and hope to have landed a new and much better job, but, until I'm told I actually have a job?  Nothing is secure.  Yet, I was informed of orientation of Monday coming, that I would be paid for my driving there - take my own car which is fine by me, hotel paid for, breakfast at hotel, lunch supplied at orientation and dinner keep a receipt for.  It's a week's training, not the two I had originally been told it was by whoever, don't remember now. 

I need to get my physical back to the manager.  That is the next thing - like tomorrow, if they send me to Lufkin and then up to get a load again in Mount Pleasant? There will be a stop in Longview along the way.  I actually considered quitting on this trip, but I think I will get another 900 miles on the "clock" for a paycheck that will help tide me over.  I'm 99% certain this job is a done deal for me. 

Anyway, it's 12:30 am.  I wasn't going to pull out the laptop, but I needed to wind down.  I need to get some sleep. 

Well.
Got up this morning around 8, shaved, showered the usual stuff.
(though I wish getting up in the morning in a truck would also include that, it normally doesn't).
I was informed that the road test wouldn't be until this afternoon, call the dude this morning.  No hurry, tho, to call him. Get a couple of cups of coffee in me as well. But I decided while sipping on the first cup to call.

Yeah, c'mon.  Now?  Yes, now.  Okay. Ann had said you wouldn't be available til' this afternoon.  Nope, if this truck has brake problems, I don't know what it is, I want to do the road test with you and see what you think.  Okay, well it's gonna take a bit of time to get there.  No problem, he replies, I'm here all day today.

I get there.  This truck has hoops to go through to turn it on lol.  You don't turn the key and it fires up.  You have to input a 4 digit code, push a hidden button and then you can turn the key.  Okay, I get it: highly volatile chemical trucks, highly explosive chemical, they don't want anyone that comes along to just fire it up and take off with it.   Why bother with a key, tho, if you have to input a code?

Nice trucks.  I love Peterbilts.  Haven't driven one in ages.  These are newer and in excellent condition.

They also don't believe in driving around in a truck with issues.  They will do whatever it takes to get a truck fixed on the road.

Well anyway, I hooked the tractor up to the tanker, we got in and I pulled around, out of the yard.  This was their alleged first hurdle, pulling through that tight corner.  Yeah, no biggies there. The next big deal, they claimed, was pulling out onto the main road at the end of the driveway.  On both sides of it, concrete drainage ditches.  No big deal there, either, ample room to swing out and around.

Then it was railroad tracks.  Of course you have to stop and put on the flashers in a hazmat situation.  And then, a preplanned exit off the Interstate that curves around sharply and has a guard rail that if you aren't far enough over, you're gonna hit it.  Nothing that was presented to me was nothing I haven't faced a 1,000 times before.  I'm not saying I'm anything special, any good truck driver would be able to do the same thing.

We got back, instructed to back the trailer anywhere there is a hole.  So, I chose the hardest one available.  Why? Cause it was nothing compared to backing into a full truck stop where the parking spaces are narrow and you best be good enough to get the thing jacked in there or you're going to be finding yourself looking around the area for a spot to park for the night - which happens anyway when the truck stops are full, but still.

So the guy goes off on how this other driver couldn't even back in there - at all.  I'm thinking, if he can't back into a hold that big, he isn't really a truck driver.  Yes, you have to totally crank the truck around, yes you kinda have to get it straightened out in good timing, but it's not that hard.  It really isn't.  A little practice and you get good at it.  Still, the hardest part a truck driver has is backing the thing up, after that driving in rush hour traffic.

Anyway, he announced after he got off the phone with the manager that I had passed the road test, get the physical and the drug screening done and you have a job!  Alright, so where am I going to find time to stop and get a drug screening and more importantly, where are locations of their preapproved places to get it done?  I guess I'll figure that out when Ann calls me and we discuss this next phase.  Such a long, drawn out process, tho, to get a job at this place.

That was that.  Went out to eat, got a fresh haircut, did some shopping at Walmart before I headed back over here.

This is what this does for me: gives me an out if this company starts hell with me, because honey?  I fully expect the s*** to hit the fan this coming week there.  I make some statements in text messages to the dispatcher that likely isn't to go over too well. And frankly? I don't give  a damn.  This company i am at now sucks.  It was an out, to get away from an even worse company, but it's not the place I'm going to call home unless some stuff drastically changes - and those changes would have to come immediately.

I have no such expectations of change occurring over night in a  company that wants to expand at a rapid pace but doesn't have the infrastructure to deal with it.  That is their problem, coupled with the idea of bringing trucks in that need fixed immediately on the road, instead demanding they be driven back in unsafe condition, and further complicated with lies.  Trucking company lies.

You know what I did the 3 times I have been at this other place? Talk to whatever drivers were there.  I got to talk to 2 drivers that have been there 20 plus years.  Man, they had nothing bad to say about the company.  One wants out of atruck and into some other role at the place, understandable at his age. The other is retiring next year. The one that is retiring I must have spent an hour talking to.

This wasn't drive over there, take the road test and leave. This was stick around for quite awhile and get into conversations.  You have to give some credence to the idea that drivers are content there.

I'm neither looking forward nor dreading this week to come at current company. Let the chips fall where the may.  I have no truck quitting that company.  None, whatsoever.  I just chalk that one up to a reunion with lying trucking companies that will say anything and make any promise you want them to make to get you there.  My paycheck next week will be smaller, but I can deal with that.   

My only goal in all of this is to get some money saved up and get into a better position for eventual retirement.  This company has 401k matching up to 6% which you just can't pass up.  Set that sucker at 6% and then save cash in a bank account until there is enough there to invest.  I have ideas of starting a business and that is a goal I will be working towards.  Meanwhile, pay off my debt, get my credit score at least in the 700 range and position myself for a bit brighter future.  Pay the price living in a truck, oh well.  If something else comes along, great.  In actuality, this job will get me tanker experience and eventually I could land a local gas hauling job that would pay the bills and then some and have me home every night.  There is a plan here and getting that hazmat/tanker experience is only done by doing OTR.  I haven't found a company yet that is willing to give you a local gig unless you already spent the time on the road first.

There is another aspect of this that will help.  Pulling these dry vans is - boring.  There is much more appeal going into giant chemical plants then pulling into a newspaper factory that has nothing but - loading docks.  Call it strange, but I am much more intrigued by all the processes going on in plants like this.  Not to mention the stop is actually paid for, whereas Thursday, I spent 4 plus hours to get unloaded and of course, I get paid nothing for it.

Onto other things.  Rene - the lady tenant - took off for Michigan a few hours ago. Currently sitting in DFW.  We helped her out.  She is terrified of flying. I talked her into it - Greyhound buses are miserable, wretched things that belong in a horror movie.  Like riding in hell.  I hate those things.  She doesn't like them either, with a bit of coaxing I talked her into flying.  She had a few drinks after the first flight and proclaimed that this was a "small" jet that only holds 50 people. Yes, the regional flights are smaller, but there are far smaller aircraft than those things.  This is likely an Embraer 175.  They do the job.  Short hops to get you to the main airport.

Anyway, she'll like the 737 better - smoother flight.  Not that the Embraer is that bad, but I guess if you don't like flying, that thing does get a little more movement from turbulence.  I will miss her cooking and her taking care of my dogs while I"m on the road. She really loves those dogs, which is a plus at this point.  The male tenant will take care of them. They''ll at least be fed and let out for potty and roaming the back yard breaks.

I've done a lot of thinking about my current situation.  I could have averted all of this if I had simply went back to school. I flirted with the idea for years, but balked at the costs.  That was for white collar situations which I probably wouldn't fit into very well, anyway.  Then, more recently, I flirted with the idea of going to AC service school.  I would probably get into that, even if having to deal with the heat. The mechanics stuff I'm definitely no longer interested in.  But, some dude at the age of 53 going to school to start over? Sounds strange, lol.  And anyway, it's too late now.  Life is more than half over.  Well more than half over.  I hate being out on the road for extended periods, but it's the only thing I know to make good money.

Which is the biggest reason I am already wanting to switch jobs.  This current job is a pile of s*** for so many reasons that I can legitimately say no thanks to it.  Soon enough, as long as I pass physical, which I just did 2 months ago so no reason I wouldn't now - I will be on my way to Amarillo, Texas and doing 2 weeks of training.  And then, $1,500 per week - more actually - and getting back into much better financial situation.  Just going to have to invest in the stuff truckers invest in to keep themselves occupied while driving. Audio books, mostly.  Sirius radio - I love to listen to talk radio, can be very stimulating.  Face slapper - don't have to buy that. Take hand, slap face, wake up haha