Took everything in me to drag my butt out of bed this morning and get up for work.  By the time I got to work, I knew I was toast.  I signed in and sat there wondering how I could possibly make it through a work day feeling this incredibly sh....bad.  So I called the main warehouse manager and asked if he could send someone over to cover for me.  The same shit I always get from him, I knew I should have bypassed him and gone straight to the ops manager.

So I said fine, but when i get back from these deliveries, I am leaving and going to the doctor and btw, I will not be coming in tomorrow.  Then I wrote the OPs manager.  Same thing, lungs on fire, can't hardly breath, going to do the deliveries and then leave and may not be back for the rest of the week.  When I got back he he replied fine, but please acknowledge your review before you leave. Cool.  Then, after getting back from that run some 5 hours later, I told the warehouse manager I was leaving and that I won't be coming in tomorrow.  He says fine, call me if you aren't coming tomorrow.

This guy is a total jackass. I've said it to him three separate times today and he still doesn't get it, so I said quite loudly to get his attention: I GUARANTEE you I will NOT be coming in tomorrow! I did not call him, I left.  I'll call him tomorrow and tell him I ain't coming in Thursday, either and I may not go in Friday. I have been feeling like shit for almost 3 weeks now but the last 3 days has been hell.  I am going to keep running around all over the place at work and feeling like this and then go home with no energy and getting nothing done.

I have a freaking deadline here, I can't just stay sick forever!  If I don't get back to some semblance of normal in the next few days, I am going to have to start questioning whether I will be ready to go by the time the seventeenth of May gets here.  Even if I weren't moving, I can't just have this company running me into the ground by people who could give a damn about anyone's health. Every time I ask this guy to leave early if I'm sick but I showed up to cover the workload - he ALWAYS says well let me look. Go look at your ass in a mirror, I want to go home!  He could care less that a person has gone out of their way to show up and get things done even if in reality, that person should be staying home and in bed.

But there is another reason I don't want to work when I am feeling that bad: I get really cranky.  I won't bite my tongue when people are acting stupid or saying stupid things. I get myself into trouble. It's best I just hole up in my bedroom and get past it. So the first delivery? "We don't need this", referring to 2 twenty foot lengths of pipe that they ordered. I looked at that guy and said: why the bleep are you people always ordering shit and then telling us you don't want it when we bring it?  They do this all the time but usually I keep my mouth shut. Instead, all I could think about was getting the freak out of there and getting these deliveries over with.  He looked at me and stepped back. I knew I had blown it but I didn't even care.

Then there was the last delivery.  I pulled up, got out, unstrapped, talked to a guy who disappeared.  I got the entire load shifted and unstrapped and restrapped excepting for what needed to be taken off.  Then a Yellow freight truck showed up. I had called the superintendent and asked him if I could get this truck unloaded, please.  He said, oh, there's nobody there? No, I replied, there are plenty of people here and I even talked to one person but nothing has happened yet. So, when this freight truck shows up so does a guy in a truck. I He gets out of the truck and proceeds to unload this freight truck first!  I"m just standing there glaring at him.  Then some other dude comes out and stands there at the back of my truck watching this guy on the forklift. The guy on the forklift asks about something and he says, Oh nooooo, take your time, i have all day!

Yeah, that's when I lost it. Well I sure as hell don't have all day and i was here fifteen minutes before this truck that you are unloading.  He just looks at me.  I'm waiting and waiting, this is takin forever and yes, I was getting crankier by the minute. I called the superintendent back and told him what was going on and he started asking for names.  What's your name? Josh. Didn't change a damned thing though they were going to unload that other truck regardless and I was pissed.

Normally, if I weren't feeling so crappy, I would just go back into my truck and get on my computer and who cares. But I was in pain. My lungs were on fire. I was hating life.  Guy tells me to chill and then I let him have it.

Whatever. I may yet get into trouble for that, I dunno, but if I do, I"ma blame it on that asshole manager that refuses to give me any leeway, whatsoever, whenever I tell him I'm sick. Which is not that often.  When I say I'm sick and need to go home, they know I ain't making up stories.  Yet at the same time, they don't seem to give a damn. Actually I was saying that I needed to go to the doc's, not home and that didn't phase him at all. Funny part is this dude has health problems and takes off frequently to go to the doc's.  Just leaves.

I didn't want to hear it when I got back from the run. Just I'm leaving, won't be back tomorrow, good bye!

Went to doc's and they put me on some inhaler thing that has pure oxygen being pumped into it with some steam looking stuff and you breath it in for a while.  It helped quite a bit but certainly didn't make me feel THAT much better. Still, the effects of that and the inhaler have been palpable. I left there and went to the dude's house to get AC fixed.  Miserable, tired and wanting it over with, but needed to be done.  He got that thing cranking out colder ac than it has ever cranked out, but almost 3 hours of that.  Finally home, I want to sleep for over an hour but started coughing again so got up.. BTW, I have bronchitis.

Well i got on computer and talked to m'lady for a while then after hearing what she was saying about Josiah, contacted him and asked him about all the stuff and - anyway - not anything I even remotely feel like going into right now - stood there about to go to bed and Susan comes out just staring at me. You sound like hell.  you sound like you're teetering on the verge of pneumonia.  Well what am I supposed to do? I went to the doc's, got the prescription filled, on the medication?

I'm in my bedroom now. Humidifier pumping away, it will have it's effect soon enough when enough of the moisture is in the air to get down into my lungs, I will stop coughing almost altogether.

If you can't tell yet, I'm in a freaking bad mood.  Why the hell did this have to hit me now, of all times, when I have all of this stuff going on? Stop and listen to God I am guessing.  Better do that.  Something ain't right here.

ben

Caleb

So for a glimpse of time, I got to see my son.  I mean, he's spending the night here but he left to go visit mom and some of his friends are throwing a party for him.  We talked about the Bible and God.  That's what we always do. We talk about the things that are going on in our lives and how they relate to - the Bible and God.  Cause' that's what interests both of us and we both see the Bible is a treasure trove, full of gems and full of truths and full of revelation.

We were deep into a discussion but he started looking at the clock so I knew it was time for him to get moving.  Inwardly, very reluctantly, I let him go.  Outwardly, good to see you son, love you.  Yeah, I'll get to see him for a short time tomorrow morning but then that's it for quite a while.  Yes, I miss him something fierce, though it doesn't really hit me until  - I see him again and and this time it's such a short time that he was here.

But a short time is better than no time.

We pulled out Hebrews 11 and talked about that for quite a while and then he said, well, I guess  this is the last time I will see you for ---- years.  I'm sure the look on my face wasn't one of, gee won't that be wonderful.  No, I said what on earth are you talking about?  Well you'll be in Texas and I can't afford to get out there.  I've already told him several times I would fly him out there and back to wherever if he wanted to come visit.  But I said it again.  Oh, cool.  I said yes, aren't you coming back to town after you are done in Hawaii?

He didn't know. He doesn't feel like he is supposed to be here for any length of time which is totally fine with me. I just ended this with: wherever you are, I will get you out to Texas and you can stay as long or short a stay as you like.

Cool, he replied. I said and maybe have you come out when the kids are on break from school so you can not only meet them but maybe minister some truth to them.  Not that I won't, but never hurts to get it from other sources that are like-minded.  Well, Caleb is out and about now.  With his mom by now I am sure.  Just a very tight schedule for him, I understand and it really is a blessing that I could spend any time with him at all -- but I am his father and I love him and it still kinda is hard to be only able to see him for a few hours and then gone.  Well he has to be up early tomorrow for his flight back to Hawaii so I will see him for a little while in the morning, but if he's staying out half the night with mom and friends, he will be too tired to do much talking of anything.

And I am sick with this respiratory junk and mornings are the hardest part.  He is done with his 1 year commitment to RevHi in August and after that coming back to Phoenix to visit if nothing else.  Regardless of what he is doing, hopefully he will be able to find some time to come out and visit me/us/my new family.  Still that's at least 5 months probably longer before I get to see him again.  I know, suck it up.  Not  I don't subscribe to the theory that men should have no feelings or never show them. I don't, frankly, give a damn what anyone thinks about my showing my feelings to the people that I love and if that includes some tears, then so beit.

Time for bed. Monday's coming soon.  Huge orders that have not been pulled.  I know because I was at work on Saturday to get some things and looked in the truck routing system and found all that stuff in there - stuff that wasn't there before I left on Friday.

G'nite.

ben

Sunday morning.
Woke up at 3 am and then fell right back dead asleep.
6 am, up-and-at-em.
Got up, got my coffee, got out of the house.
Decided to break down, go to Walmart, get 2 cans of freon and recharge the ac system in the old car
Twenty bucks to get the ac working and more importantly, make it a huge selling point for that thing.
So get that pumped in and see if I get any response.

Meanwhile, my car's ac repair put off again. They had to order a condensor from California and it hasn't arrived yet.
Oh well.  It'll get done. I don't feel well enough to sit in a garage for 3 plus hours today anyway.

So today's agenda:
just that. I feel like crud.  Got more sleep then I usually do and it's making me feel even worse.  Just gonna pump that stuff into the car when I get home and then head to the bedroom.  Maybe do some packing into boxes.  I can start sending that stuff off, no need to wait and do it all at once.

Well hours later.  Josiah contacts me.  Hey man, can I work today for some money?  Litmus test coming on his promise, cause mom didn't like the idea for a variety of reasons but just said oh well, let him do it.  I can't go into the details of what transpired, just a "crisis" was averted and so I said good job to him about that and hope you keep it up.

Went to start the old Buick today and - nothing.  Totally dead.  Took it back to Auto Zone and they charged it. Came back later, uhhh, this battery is bad.  What? I just got that battery from you 2 weeks ago!  I remained calm though, the guy looked at me and said, well okay, I'll give you a break this time! The warranty expired like last week or something. Thank you!

Fired it up, it only took one can of freon to get ice cold air pumping out of that thing.  Freaking cars. This things is 2 decades old and all it needs is freon, my car is a decade old and it needs $700 worth of repairs. Gag.

Went through more stuff today but I am wiped out. I gotta get over this chest congestion junk. It is wearing me out and I am not getting near enough done.  There is a deadline looming and it ain't that far off now.  The 16th is my last day of work and here it is already the 27th.  that's only 19 days - less than 3 weeks - to get this stuff done!  That's a challenge feeling good, feels like impossible the way I feel right now!

I mean of all times to get sick!  Over 2 weeks of this now and who knows when and "end date" is for it.  Gag.
Well I"m going to do some more work today in my bedroom anyway.  Got my boxes in there, got the tape and started taping boxes together and started loading one up.  Then realized I have very little packing material.  Never-ending, seriously.  This is all starting to get old, all the crap I keep running into with this situation.  I still have plenty of time to get this all done, though, just have to keep plugging away at it, even if slowly so i don't wear myself out.

I still have to find a temporary place to live over there, too.  Freaking live in a tent at a KOA I don't really care it's only a sleeping place I can take showers at her house and Duke will be over there as well.

Update

I know, I haven't posted since Saturday, some 6 days ago.  But I have both been sick and very busy.  I found out that this coughing bug can last for months regardless of whether you go to a doc's or not and get meds that do - absolutely nothing to this thing.  Cough medicine hardly does anything to stop it either.  To be honest?  When this happens this bad? The only thing I have ever found that works for me is a couple shots of whatever alcohol.  Coughing stops and at least I can have some kind of relief.  I suppose the cough medicine with codeine would work as well, but codeine makes me physically sick.  Like feeling like throwing up sick.

Whatever the case, between the house and trying to get ready to move and attempting to deal with what is increasingly becoming a belligerent 16 year old boy and trying to sell off stuff and all the rest of it? I'm exhausted. Went to the airport last night at ten to get Caleb - my son- and bring him back to my house.  We had maybe an hour long conversation - it was eleven thirty by the time I got to sleep and then up at four thirty am for work.  Yeah, I'm getting really tired.  Not "of" stuff, just tired!

Josiah completely out of control. Too much to go into and yes, that's just this week alone.  I just can't get into that right now.  Plus the situation with the church.  You know, if you say anything about a church that doesn't make them look like lily white angels? You are going to get hell for it. Whatever. I didn't back down on my statements, I just backed off from it, not worth it. Dunno if I will go back, other churches around here I can go to for the last few, remaining Sundays I have left in Phoenix.

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Saturday. Pond sold.  People interested in car, but keep getting low balled.  C'mon, it's 600 buck for a running car, geeze. They keep offering 500. At some point if I don't get a better offer I may have to take it.  but I'm holding out.  The pond was a total pain in the ass.  Draining it, catching 6 small fish that were still in there and moving it out to the vehicle for this lady and loading it.  She was probably in her mid 60's, I didn't expect her to do any of it, but still. At least it ain't hot today. In fact, overcast and windy and cool.

Fired the old Buick up to make sure the battery isn't going to go dead on it.  Some people stopped and asked how much. $700. Would you take 5? No, I'll down to 6.  Okay well we'll talk about it and maybe get back to you. Which means to me I will never see them again. I just simply do not want to take 500 for it unless it's just all I can get.

Went to work today and made some signs for it, plus got the tape gun to start packing - boxes are all torn down but in  great shape, just need to put them back together and tape them up again. Changed my approach to moving. Was going to get a trailer and a hitch on the car - didn't really want to but what other option was there cheaper than that? Well turns out, shipping out of our branch will be as cheap or cheaper via UPS.  I have 18X18X24 moving boxes and I input 50 pounds into WorldShip (UPS software used for shipping) and it came back with a price tag of $33.  Well I don't have an incredible amount of stuff to ship, maybe 10 of those boxes at most plus putting odd shaped stuff in trunk of car.  If there is something bigger I will bite the bullet and ship it.  I'm trying to keep my stuff down to a minimum.

So that's my new plan. Probably going to stick with it, too, unless I end up with too many boxes to ship. But I don't think so.  I don't need to be taking a lot of stuff.  Unsure how to ship the Kachina doll though.  It is a handcrafted doll made by one of the local Indian tribes and it is worth some dough.  I don't know how much, would have to have it appraised. Had it since the early 80's.

Anyway, without a trailer on that car? I can haul @$$ out there.  I won't need more than one overnight stay at a hotel - hope I can find one that takes dogs, have heard that there are chains that will. What will fit in the boxes? Clothes, kachina ( put insurance on it if I go that route), PS3, pictures, important papers, things that i want to keep.  My wall pictures - worth some bucks - in car, as well as guitar.

Meanwhile getting AC fixed tomorrow on the car.  It was going to be Friday but they condenser was the wrong one.  Gag.  Also picked up Caleb (my son) from the airport Thursday night at 10, spent an hour talking to him.  Unfortunately I could not get work to change schedule so I had to go to work the next morning.  He's coming back Sunday evening so I hope to get at least a few hours to visit with him before he jets back to Hawaii Sunday night.  $700 to fix AC.  Needed  a new compressor, two lines and a condensor plus of course freon and oil and the labor.  I am getting out of it cheap. That much work at a regular shop would cost probably twice that much.  This guy is ASE certified, just going to school and does jobs on the side at his parent's house.

This is some pretty solid hours I am putting in here. Plus I have been sick and hacking and coughing now for well over 2 weeks.  It is slowing me down, worst time to get something like this. I have talked to a large number of people now that have this bug - some for 4 MONTHS!!  NOOOOOOOO!!

Meanwhile, Duke - Great Dane - is missing Prince something terrible. Had to put Prince down last week, he's running around looking for him all over the place, jittery and unhappy. I asked a friend that breeds Danes for any advice - take him to the park, keep him busy and make sure he's well fed.  Okay!  Took him with me to the farewell party some old friends were throwing for me and got a good walk in with him.  I can't lose another dog right now. Duke is old by Great Dane standards, it would just rip me apart to lose yet another one.  One of m'lady's friends in Texas says she will get me another Great Dane. Yes!  A puppy to boot. I never thought I would want a puppy again, but Dane life span is so short, the only real way to enjoy their life span completely is to start out in puppy hood.

So, back to yesterday. Josiah. Being a total pain in the ass.  Rebellion, incorrigible, mouthing off to his mom.  BAD. Called her an asshole earlier this week. I've never even heard of a lady being called that, usually other derogatory terms reserved for females that males want to use against them.  Whatever the case, that crossed my line. We had it out yesterday via texting.  He refuses to talk to me on the phone, which is fine, means that a texting war will go on for hours instead of getting it over with in maybe half an hour or even less.  This started at 4 and finally ended at 8. I'm not saying rapid fire texting, he said something, I would say something back, back and forth but in "due" time, not sitting there doing nothing else.

I am a man, this 16 year old boy kept telling me. I put him in his place: Men do not speak to their mothers that way.  Even if they do not agree with them.  Real men do not have short-fuse tempers that blow up in an instant without even that much provocation.  On and on, he finally said, FINE, just don't treat me like a 5 year old. Then stop acting like one!!!!!!  This all started when he bypassed me - making plans to be with that girl without even asking much less even saying ANYTHING about it, so I bypassed him and contacted both of her parents and told how he is acting and what he is saying to his mom.

Yup, that started it. He was having a cow. You are trying to break us apart! If you ruin us, I swear to god........about the point he said that is when I started in on him. You will NOT talk to me that way, period.  It got pretty heated. I won't tolerate a teenager talking to me like that, non-happening event.  At some point, m'lady texted me and asked me to stop texting him. ???  Turns out Josiah was with ex, I didn't know that. He had been with mom when this started.  But it didn't matter, HE texted me, not the other way around.  Ex yelled at her on the phone, nothing worth going into.  M'lady took it hard, ex talking to her like that.  Today? I told her if he calls you again and talking to you like that about my interaction with Josiah, you can give him my phone number and he can call me and try that yelling s*** on the phone with me.

I don't think she liked that idea, either, probably cause' she knows I'll let that man know exactly how I feel about the way he treats his own kids not to mention all the yelling shit with m'lady.  Regardless, after hours of texting and going through every single thing under the planet, I finally got a PROMISE out of that boy to get rid of the attitude and start acting nice towards mom and stop cussing her out, especially in front of the rest of the kids.  I mean, it was hours of outrageous attitude that is reinforced by his dad.  That guy is a real piece of work.  But I never say anything bad about him to the kids, just can't do that.  For obvious reasons.

Onto other things? Yes, I'm tired. This has been a LONG week.  Besides some long hour the hacking and coughing, the congestion in my lungs, it's taking a toll on me.  I have far less energy than normal.  Hard to make it through a work day.  Too many people have been to a doc with this junk and gotten medicine/antibiotics that did them absolutely no good to the point I ain't bothering.  Try some of the home remedies such as the honey and cinnamon thing.

What now?  Sitting at a restaurant. Long day. I needed a break, nothing in the fridge or nothing I was interested in anyway, restaurant a mile away from my house. Probably won't be able to do that in the future with a wife and 6 kids, but that's cool, the company will be better than eating alone at a restaurant.   Well not just company, family.  People that actually love me and I love them back.

The day has only gotten shittier.
The woman not only took all of my fish from the pond I am shutting down -which is what we agreed upon, but only left small fish in my other pond, NOT what we agreed on. She was here while I was gone - which I didn't care I was dealing with Prince.  I'll get over it but she took a lot more than we agreed to.  Alot of money's worth. I'll get over it and won't even say anything to her, but that in ground pond isn't going anywhere so it kinda sucked she did that.

But that's the way the world is and how we treat each other.

But then other stuff happened. Wow.  I don't think I should go into it on the WWW so I won't.  Just got out of hand.  I mean, really.

I'm bidding 4/19/2014 good bye.

And good riddance.

Would prefer not to relive a day like this on several fronts.

ben

Goodbye Prince, My Giant Black Great Dane

Here we go again, but it's time. Prince, my black Great Dane. He's done.  His hips are toast, he can barely walk now.Just kinda went from bad to really bad overnight.  He isn't wincing in pain but it's obvious it's time to put him down.  He's getting close to 10 years old anyway, pretty much the extent of a Great Dane's life span.  Worries me, Duke is still doing good but him and Prince are brothers, he's also almost 10..........
So, try to get that dog loaded in the car and take him to a place to get him euthanized this morning.  Gag, just what I wanted to do on a Saturday.  I've got a heaping huge list of things I need to get done and I guess this one was sorta on it, just not something I really wanted to face I guess. I will not get 3 dogs again. In fact, when the next one goes, I will probably just have 1.

AC went out on my car so I have to figure out what's wrong with that and get that fixed as well.  Dumping freon somewhere.  I bought a can of red dye to pump into it yesterday, going to do that later after I get done with Prince.  It is coming out so fast that it should be pretty easy to figure out what the problem is. Unfortunately, at the rate it's coming out, I'm guessing it's the compressor.  Not a cheap thing. Yeah, just called out of curiosity to see what I am facing: $200 bucks.  Not including the other parts you have to replace or the freon.  I don't have a vacuum pump to pump out air in the lines, so have to get someone over to do that and pump the freon in.

Well, I don't know for sure it's that yet, just guessing.  Dealing with Prince takes priority today, not a pleasant prospect.
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Prince - is gone.
Took 3 people to get him from the cement sidewalk where his hips basically gave out - the smooth concrete he just couldn't navigate.  He just laid down in a heap and sat there looking at me, directly in front of the door to the entrance of the facility. This was at the Humane Society and a volunteer came out and said, well he can't stay there. No duhh, asshole, give me a freaking break.  I didn't say that to him, I just said yes I know.  Well you are going to have to put him back in your car and wait. I almost told him to go stick it, but instead, I just said no WAY is that dog going back in that car.  It took 2 people to get him in there and now? It's a done deal.

This guy was cruising for a bruising.  I had to hold myself back. He continued on with his tirade which is when I - started to come unglued.  I'm here to put my dog down, not listen to your stupid ass griping about my dog! Somebody must've heard me because the next thing I knew, we were trying to get him into the facility where he and I would be put into a small waiting room until it was our turn. This volunteer tried to pick up his entire ass end with a towel, this dude was way too small to lift a dog that size. I was about to tell him I would do it but then this huge behemoth of a man stood up, politely moved the man out of his way, picked the back end of the dog up, I got one side of the front of Prince and then the volunteer got the other and away we went into the waiting room.

I'm trying to move, so spending a lot of money on putting a dog down was not in the cards.  So waiting 2 hours wasn't pleasant but it saved me $120 over the cheapest next option. I mean I guess I could have taken him out to the desert and put a bullet in his brain and buried him there, but $60 bucks was good enough.  The vet came in and he was obviously very good with animals - and their owners that are about to see their animal pass. Well they don't let you in there at this facility, I knew that in advance.  They take him to the back, put the drug into him and that's the end.  But it was good to see him interacting with Prince at least.

Prince  knew something was going on and he got a bit fussy. I petted him and soothed him an then 3 people came in and tried to lift him up off the floor. 143 pound dog laying there like jelly, non-happening event. So they asked if I could coax him to get up and I did, he got up, they got underneath him, carried him around a corner and that was the last I saw of him.  The vet assured me that they put them down right away, they don't hold them or anything,. Thank you. Tears started flooding my eyes and I about lost it.  I turned around to leave to be greeted by something like 30 sets of human eyes all gawking at me.

I dunno why people have to do that. I swear every person in that place staring at me and this 12 year old or so kid continuously asking me what happened to that dog? What's wrong with him?  Why can't he walk? I'm usually patient and kind with kids, I didn't even respond. You gotta remember this is the third dog I've had to put down in the last 3 years.  Duke is getting up there in years for a Great Dane so I don't know how much time he has left, either.  A dog food bowl that will never be eaten out of again, a big black dog that I will never see again.

Well just - and I mean just  - before I was going to try and load Prince up in the car to deal with this, this lady shows up for the Koi fish.  She never responded to me about what time she intended on showing up and I sent her an email this morning asking. Oh well, deal with it.  Sold the entire pond's worth of fish to her, she had them gone by the time I got home from having Prince put down, though that took almost 3 hours from leaving the driveway to getting home, so yeah.  Now I have the pond itself up for sale, too big to haul to Texas though I wish I could.

Geeze,  I have so much to do and I just had it all drained out of me with Prince.  Guess I need to suck it up and get busy, the clock is ticking and it doesn't care how I feel or what I've been through. But I pretty much knew I would have to put him down soon, his condition deteriorated quickly. So strike that off the list, strike selling the fish off the list, pond is already on Craigslist for sale not much luck with the car.

Regardless, I'm gonna have to force myself to get out there and pump that dye into that system and see if I can figure out where the freon leak is.  I had high hopes of getting alot done in getting things packed in my room today, but I think that is wishful thinking. Who knows, it's still possible I guess.  But I feel shitty now.

So who knows. M'lady's best friend texted me earlier, she wants me to call her to discuss some things.  For her to say that means something is definitely not right with something. So probably take a nap and try to get a little rest, get up, talk to her and maybe do the freon thing.  Otherwise, I'll do it after church tomorrow.

G'day.

ben

There is nothing quite as bad as feeling like s*** in the morning. Whatever illness I had came roaring back to life and is kicking my @$$.  What a great time for something like this to happen with a countdown going to get out of Dodge.  I really hope that I get to feeling better today because if nothing else, there is a LONG day at work ahead of me in hauling junk all over the place and that isn't going to be too much fun feeling this crappy.  I mean, really crappy.

I dunno but if this continues I'm gonna have to bite the bullet and just go to an urgent care and get whatever meds they prescribe,  I can't afford to be dragged down when I got a 30 day countdown going to have all my stuff packed or gotten rid of and get out of here.  Not to mention the car ready with that hitch and a trailer.  And trying to sell the old car.
___________________________________________

That was yesterday.  I now have a ten year old calling me up everyday.  She gave him my phone number and he calls and then the nine year old girl calls and on and on.  It's pathetic, really, because her ex shows them no attention whatsoever to the point they now tell a man they have only known for eight months that they love me and want me down there and then more love talk.  Ten year old basically calling me his dad now.  Fourteen year old stepping it up quite a bit as well, doing all kinds of clean up work, trying to get the house ready - without anyone even asking him to - for my arrival.

Thirty days until I leave.  I'm feeling a little better today.  I need to get up to ninety percent or more so I can get full throttle on this.  I have had that car listed for days, putting up a new ad everyday and still, only one person responded and he never replied back after I responded to him.  I've lowered the price to the point that if I go any lower, I'll probably just find someone to give it to instead of selling it, though I really need that money to move with.  At the same time, I have several people interested in my Koi and goldfish.  It would be easier to sell them and start over again over there, I have decided.  Just hate to get rid of some of them.  I have  a lady coming over Saturday that may be interested in buying the whole lot of them.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So much for feeling better today. I started feeling like shit not much longer after writing the last tract of stuff and this has gone all day long.
________
Just not getting enough time to finish!  Anyways, it's Friday morning, spent half the night coughing and hacking, get to go to work! Woohooo!

ben

The die is cast, the ball is rolling, the momentum is up and barreling ahead full steam now. I am fully committed.  I sent out mass email to all individuals that need to know at my company this morning my intended leave and arrive dates and that was the end of this.  The manager in Shreveport said he was good with it, my GM here said yes, it will work and forwarded the information to the corporate lady that does the actual transfer of my info from one logon to another, it is finished. They already have my position up for grabs on the company intranet site.  Could I turn this back now? Yes, I could say this thing went to hell in a handbasket and I need to stay.

And they would let me, since no-one has actually taken my position yet.  But boy, would that be uncomfortable after all of this!  Yes.  But I'm set in my mind anyway.  I want this to happen.  Just some things that must occur before at most a few weeks is up.  Namely, selling that car.  It's my finances out there.  Yes I could borrow/figure something out, but I don't want to go into debt on this.  And I'd like to get that hitch sooner than later and get it installed on that car and also find  a trailer for it - but can't find a trailer until I get the hitch!  I just posted another ad, this time with pics of the car.  And lowered the price 50 bucks to take it out of the range it was in.  It's a good running car and it's less than a grand, someone's gotta want it!

I'm so wrapped up now not just in her life but the kids it would be pretty devastating for me if this didn't work out for whatever reason.  Yet, at the same time, I know how life can work. Still, I have prayed over this and had others praying and talking to my pastor, gotta believe this isn't a dead end here at this point.

Anyway, I have found a receiver hitch online for $140. It's bolt on so no welding necessary.  I might be able to do that myself.  Still would have to get the slide-in part and the ball.  Looking at about $200 total. Then a trailer, have found several on Craigslist that would do, highest at $150. $350 the most I would pay. Would have to drive the car out there anyway, so fuel was already going to be a part of this - though we all know that it will cost more in fuel economy to pull a trailer. No biggies, that's how I was going to get my dogs out there, in my car so I have to drive it, not have it shipped and fly out there.  The only real hassle is that I will definitely want to spend a night at a hotel and I know there are places that allow dogs, I don't know which ones. I guess a search online will hopefully give me a clue about that.

Well, anyway, it doesn't help that I don't feel well and the clock is ticking plus I want to get to court and try to figure out how much I have left owing on child support before I head out to texas.

Whatever the case, the work day almost here, g'day.

ben

It is done.
It kinda is not so great the paycut I am going to have to take to get out there, but they are going to have me do overtime so it will make up for it. The point is that I now finally have the ball rolling, I can start figuring out dates and trying to get my stuff ready to move.  Lots to deal with, as anyone can imagine uprooting yourself and moving twelve hundred miles away, but I think I am up for the challenge.  I think, lol.

I almost told that guy no, though.  I was like, why do I want to take a pay cut? Especially that much.  But heck, I want to get out there, I'll have a job to go to, if it doesn't work, I will find something else!  But dang they have such good health care coverage and the cost is extremely low compared to many other plans I have seen, that helps make up for it in itself. At the same time, driving one hundred miles a day and the fuel costs incurred with that will take a biet out of my income.  Oh well, I committed, I'm done with this, I need to move on with this.

She didn't like the idea of OT but i was going to end up with that regardless of the pay.  I mean, do you want me out there?  That's what this boils down to.  If I'm going, I'm going as soon as I get ANYTHING that works, and I can definitely make this work, at least until I figure out what kind of expenses she really has and what we really need for income on a monthly basis.  So yeah.

The boys had a much more elated reaction. "Dude sooner like start packing your shit!!!! Lets go!! Hurry please.." That was after I had just told him - Josiah - that I had gotten a job transfer and he said Awesome!!!!! and asked when i was coming, to which I replied a month or so! The ten year old has been missing me since I left and the fourteen year old with the problems said he can't wait til I get there. The twelve year old could care less, but hey, three out of four ain't bad!

So now?  sell the car, do something with the fish, open up a bank account for Mark and Lynnette to deposit tenant payments into, etc etc etc.  Selling the car is a big one.  I need that money to move.  I hope it sells and at least within the next few weeks.  I have decided the only thing to do is put a trailer hitch on my car, get a small trailer and that's it.  Someone online said the best option if you are going to try shipping something and as long as tihngs are too large is through Greyhound!  Really? I would have never even thought of that one.  maybe I could ship some stuff in advance and that would leaev more room on the trailer.  I don't have a LOT of stuff to take out there, but there are \some things I don't want to leave behind.  Tools, clothing, guitar, computers, etc.  I am thinking of taking some of my larger Koi, too. I've had several of them for what, four or five years now? I would like to keep a half dozen of them and I can ship them with an air pump that can run off my power converter.  Run a small extension cord to the back of the car.

She wants me to sell fish and start over here.  I could for the extra money, I guess, but I would rather not have to sell all of them. Maybe a few, I could get a couple hundred bucks out of selling three or four of them.  If they would even sell,. Well they would, but people would try to talk me down on price.

Dunno, lots to think about! I need to give my management a definitive quit date and that's hard!  I'm trying to figure this all out and not get bogged down in attempting to decide what's going to happen when, i guess if I give a date that's going to do it! Git'er done!  Woohoooooo!

Speaking of Mark, he is ALL messed up.  He got hit by yet another car yesterday.  He came into the house limping badly.  I mean, BAD His hand looks like it's broken. His ankle is all swollen up.  He has lacerations, road burn and cuts all over his body. He refused to go to the hospital last night, even after I said I would take him. I don't get that guy.  I would be like, yes, take me, now, thank you!  Whatever, he went to urgent care this morning but I'm guessing they will just tell him to head on the emergency room at the hospital.

Whatever.  Fish will be hard to decide on but I'll get that figured out, heading back to Auto zone, the battery should be recharged by now and then get Caleb's car going and put it up for sale. He doesn't want it.  I said fine, but are you sure? I'll keep it if you don't. Didn't say anything about using it for moving money, if he needs the car i will figure something else out.  But he was decided on it: no, just get rid of it.  Okay.  Bought a thermostat for my car and will be installing that today or soon, before i take Caleb back up to the mountain camp anyway.  I know it's bad just because of the way the temp goes up and down at various intervals while on long trips.

Okay, I'm stoked.  just gotta get the momentum going and keep it going until I'm ready to get out of there.  I gotta get out of my room and get it rented.  New guy already stated he wants it at the price I want to rent it for if George and Susan don't.  Wow! That's pretty cool!  Don't even have to go outside of the house to get that done!  he has a ten year old daughter that comes over to visit.  Good girl, not rebellious, loud, stupid and and whatever, so I'm okay with that.

Well, time to get out of this place, I am sitting at a restaurant, was eating lunch, attempting to take all of this in. What have I gotten myself into?!!!  But dang, it's time for a change of life!

G'day.

ben

Hmmm, I wrote this post but didn't post it, it ain't finished but I wrote too much to just let it sit as a draft.


So far, the corporate lady has contacted the Longview branch and found out they are just dragging their feet on it.  The branch manager made a submittal to the GM some time ago and it's just lagging.  She has not spoken to the waterworks manager in Shreveport. I expect she will be able to get that done in short order and I expect to hear some kind of answer - good or bad - in the next day or two.  So it would be nice, at least concerning Shreveport, to get a definitive answer so I can make plans - yes I am moving to Longview, or yes I am going to start submitting applications all over the place.  Simple as that.

I did not get drawn for cow elk.  I submitted my application in time, it just didn't happen.  Probably just as well, I most likely won't be living in Phoenix by the time the hunt begins.

As for her/kids.  Well today, she's all happy, lol.  So I was taking advantage of that!  Yesterday, however, I had a showdown with Josiah.  I just had had enough.  Between this obsession with this girl and not doing anything around the house even after promising? No.  I laid down the law and the teeth to it are simple: he doesn't start complying, this weekend to start with he won't be seeing his gf - at all.  That's all the compulsion I need with him.  He doesn't need any other reason though if that for some reason doesn't work, I can also take his phone away from him.  He doesn't pay for it, mom does, he can't work until he gets his license.

When he does get his license, he is not guaranteed to be able to drive yet.  If he is allowed to drive, that privilege can be immediately revoked for a variety of reasons of which will be spelled out to him at the git-go and also a disclaimer that his driving privileges can also be revoked for other reasons that were unknown beforehand.  Then there's the tracker. And then there is an app, I think, you can install on an iphone that tells a person where that person is at any time.  Oh yes, I Google, therefore I am and there are all kinds of them on there.  Some of them look better than others, the point is they are available.  I dunno if I will demand that on his phone, though.  I don't need the kid getting resentful and feeling like he can never be trusted.  I mean, there is an app that logs in all incoming cell phone calls and displays all texts.

No, I don't want to read his personal texts between him and his gf.  That is territory I am not prepared to travel into and it is none of my business, I don't really care what they are saying to each other, they are going to say what they are going to say.

Anyway, the issue came down to the fact that for almost 3 weeks now, he has done little of nothing around the house.  Virtually zero chores have been done. Okay, he moved a roll of hay out there for the cows, whoopie and big deal, it took him 10 minutes.  I know cause I watched.  Back the tractor up with this piece of machinery attached to it that folds up, has a giant hook that comes flailing down on the hay and grasps it, push the contraption under it and then pull forward, it rolls the giant roll of hay onto the thing and you can move it wherever you want.

Other than that?  When I was there a few weekends ago, his bathroom was - disgusting.  I don't mean bad, I mean DISGUSTING.  Granted he is one of four boys that uses that bathroom, but I pretty much got all over his case yesterday for living like a total slob.  His bedroom the same thing.  Well not as bad as that bathroom, it had been a long time since I had seen anything so gross and repulsive.

There were other issues as well. But the end result:  Do 6 hours of work tomorrow and Friday or you aren't going to see her.  Period.  He knew better than to start getting testy with me, so after a long pause, he replied "yes" and then "got it".  Good boy.  But there's nothing like pushing it to the limits, he texted me earlier today asking if he could go with her to her church today after the track meet, if it gets done in time?  He does track and he's pretty darn good at it too.  No, I replied, it's her turn to come to your church with mom.  But but but, she won't get her!  Not true, cause' I asked and yes, she will go get her and take her to church.

Well then he did start getting testy. I put an end to that quickly.  You don't have to see her today........Okay, okay! It's cool!  He wanted to go there to get some guitar instructions.  He didn't even know that was available until I called his gf's church to chat with the youth minister, who told me he would love to show him some stuff on the guitar.  I said cool and later on told Josiah that.  Josiah was like, huh?  I don't even know the youth pastor over there, you must have called the wrong church.  Uhhh, no, I definitely talked to the right person at the right church, you don't remember him but he remembers you distinctly.  So now, weeks later, he wants the help.  What the boy doesn't know is, that if he does go there for the instruction, I am going to call that pastor again to make sure Josiah isn't making up stories.  Josiah never needs to know that unless, of course, he's - not telling the truth!

However.......that app with the text readout would be good for the 14 year old boy who - has issues and is currently not even allowed to have a phone.

Disappointing.
I contacted the corporate lady today - I decided to ask her if she had heard anything because now my management is wanting dates and I can't give that to them without getting a job first.
She got on it, called the man, who apologized for not getting back to either of us and told her he would "reach out to him" today.
Well it's past 5:00 pm and that's their closing time so going on 2 weeks of this now.

___________________

Friday morning. Even though he told her he would call me, he did not, even though he told her he would.  I'm going to try to call him today and then if he doesn't answer, I'm washing my hands of it.  I will let my GM know - who just happens to know this man's GM - not to get me a job but perhaps that management over there would like to know how this guy is operating.  Definitely NOT the way our company expects it's management to deal with people, this I know for a fact.

Our company's big competitor is alive and well over there, all over the place so starting next week - I'ma give this one more day/today to see if there is any glimmer of hope - I'm going to start filling out applications, if I can get a hold of my original application I gave to my company anyway.

That's it. That's life on the ranch.  Dealing with Josiah as well.  Goodness.  That's an entire entry of it's own considering the events that took place yesterday and the night before......

G'day.

ben

So.  Will this corporate lady be able to get anything accomplished today?  I dunno, but I'ma rootin' for her! lol.  I don't know if she can force them to take me in, but they have to at least listen to her and talk with her.  But even more-so, she is going to call the one in Longview and find out what's going on with that place and did they ever decide if a position would ever open up.  It would be nice to not have to drive 50 minutes to and from work.  But as an inside salesman I was discussing this with said yesterday - most of the people at our main branch drive over an hour each way to and from work!

So not exactly uncommon, still, not preferable. Spent basically two hours of your day driving. I spend 40 minutes total getting to and from work.  Well, I'll deal with whatever if I get an offer that is at least close to what I am making now, they apparently are scoffing at my current pay.  Whatever. I'm not getting rich, I'll tell you that much.

As for work, just crazy.  Today the main warehouse manager is over at our branch.  A total of 4 different people will be at our branch on any given week until they figure this mess out.  At least he will get that kid doing something, like cleaning up all that pipe that was brought in and subsequently dumped all over the back of the lot.  I mean, really.  The kid sits at a computer all day long and does - much of nothing.  I have no control over that, but I can make suggestions to management about what needs to be done : )

G'day.

ben

So, sitting at a pipe company notorious for making drivers wait for an eternity.

Called the corporate lady this morning.  This is basically my last shot at getting the position in
Shreveport. If they don't want to listen to corporate then they ain't gonna listen to nobody.  That's good English right there, btw.  No, I didn't call her, sorry I emailed her.  Good thing I did too cause' she wouldn't have answered the phone, she isn't in today due to sickness.  Neither is the manager in Shreveport due to the same thing.

Regardless, she said she would get right on it the first thing as top priority as soon as she gets back into work.  Imagine that, she's answering emails when she's sick and not even at work!  Now that's the kind of response I expect to get from our company, not this situation where the manager doesn't even bother to return a phone call.  If she can't get it done then I give up.  I also asked her to contact the location in Longview, they never contacted me about a position and I would at least like to know what is available and what pay they might be able to offer.

So, with all that, I am not getting my mind into moving out of my bedroom and into my son's old room.  I actually don't have a ton of stuff to move because I am leaving most of the furniture in there.  That only leaves clothes, guns, etc.  I don't really want to do that though until I have a job offer out there, cause I like my big bedroom and private bathroom!  So really no rush to do that.  I mean, yes I will have to take everything out of that bedroom to get the carpet professionally cleaned, but it won't really take that long.

Still a lot ot figure out here as well.  Like how to get my stuff over there without spending a fortune on it.  Not that many options besides putting a hitch on my car and buying a small trailer to haul everything over there.  Not sure about that yet.  I figure if/when I get a job over there that will put a sense of urgency on all of this and I will then go into high gear and get all of this figured out and done.  Until then, I see no reason to do much of any of that.  Just gonna bide my time.  Hopefully corporate lady can get the ball rolling and get me some kind of answer - hopefully a positive one.

That's all I can do now, except ask my management for my application.  Which I think I will wait on until I hear back from corporate lady and see if there is any hope.

That's it.  Just another Monday.  No deliveries but lots of pickups so at least I am busy.

K so I changed the appearance of my blog.  I don't think this one looks so good so going to try a different one later on.
Regardless, start of another work week.  I have decided I am going to call that store manager once a day until he picks up the phone. If he tells me to go bug off then whatever, but I am going to get some kind of reply out of him. Kind of childish/immature for a branch manager to be blowing off a person that he invited to come talk to him and who went well of my way to get over there and get it done.

As it stands, he wasn't even there when I arrived, which ain't the end of the world but perhaps it's also something to do with the culture over there.  Who knows.  One way or another, he IS going to give me an answer.  Doesn't matter, I have found other interesting job prospects over there including hauling oil off of rigs and hauling some of material off of flatbed trucks, just need to get my application from my work so I can have correct date of employment, which for CDL drivers is mandated by federal law.

That's it.  This week starts the beginning of a fairly crazy situation with different people coming in every single day of the week to manage the store.  I can't do it because I am the store's driver and can't deal with whatever comes up at the store itself if I'm on the road, otherwise this wouldn't even be an issue.  I'm guessing they are going to have to recruit someone from somewhere else.  Regardless, I was finally given my own password to the new truck routing system so I don't have to have the main warehouse manager lording himself over me.  He isn't my manager, he doesn't work at my store and his input is completely unnecessary and I don't want to have to wait on him to get stuff done.

Another thing on my agenda: get a court hearing and get this child support junk figured out.  I should be either done or close to done with it, I need a court to give a clear definer to that. I am tired of paying it and I believe I have actually overpaid what I owe at this point.

Well whatever, the start of another work day looms, must be outta here.

G'day.

ben

I'm not necessarily giving up on my company, but that manager will not return my phone calls and I'm getting the idea that he doesn't necessarily want me working over there.  I've left him two messages in the last couple of days plus called the branch and was informed that even though he's out on the road, he is answering his phone. Yeah, well he ain't answering it for me.  He told me he would have an answer for me this week, instead of giving me an answer, he's not even bothering to communicate with me at all.

I just don't see that as a good sign so time to start looking elsewhere.  Which so far has turned up a lot of garbage. $15 an hour jobs or higher paying jobs but on the road a lot.  I could take  reduction in pay but not that much.  That kind of money doesn't motivate me, at all.  There are LOTS of jobs in that area, but gotta have medical and gotta pay at least half decent.  Maybe it's too tall an order to fill, I dunno, but I am in no hurry to get a nothing job.  I'm not actually giving up on the Shreveport thing, I just have to start looking.  I mean, what is with a manager that won't even return a phone call?

Meanwhile, the aftermath of my fired manager. Turns out lots of people had been on the receiving end of some pretty crazy communications from my manager but - no-one said anything to management about it.  Of course not.  I was informed that if something like this ever happens again to contact them and let them know.  Yeah, right.  Number one, the likelihood of something that severe and dramatic happening again anytime soon in a co-worker is probably pretty low.  Number two when it's a member of management, what do they think, just go say something to them and the  n what?  They think YOU are the lunatic for even saying anything.  Just very unrealistic for them to expect people to approach them about something like this.

Well I finally found a half decent looking job - but - just remembered that Federal regulatons require 10 years of employment history.  Gag.  I can't remember the dates before I started working at my current company! That was a long time ago!

Well anyway. The weekend.  I am trashed.  There is stuff I am going to do but nothing too intensive.  Just gonna relax more than anything. Free HBO on Direct TV this weekend so hopefully a couple of good movies anyway.  I mean, I could start moving into Caleb's bedroom and start getting out of my room so I can get it all cleaned up and ready for George and Susan to move in there - but -  naw.

Well whatever.  I got motivated since I started writing this entry and decided to go out and get some stuff and then when I get home I am going to do something.  Not sure what yet but I think moving out of my room is a thing where I start on a weekend to do it and get it done - that same weekend.

Meanwhile, she is - not home alone, she is sitting at a driver's training thing cause she got a ticket for speeding and wanted out of it. 6 hours of that stuff!  I can't do that anymore, haven't been able to in years cause' of CDL license, but I haven't had a ticket in seventeen years anyway, hope to stay out of them.

I dunno. Guess I'm stressing over this job situation.  It would be SO much easier to transfer out there intra-company and then if the drive there everyday gets too long or if I find something better, great, but finding a job from a far is a bit difficult.  Though as of now I have found some interesting prospects that have at least decent pay.

Whatever. I just wanna get out there and once I find a job the clock will start ticking!

G'day.

ben

Well here we go on this roller coaster ride of work.
2 managers down.  One quit, the other fired.
So everything is in disarray.
They tried to lord the main warehouse manager over me,
I told them I don't need his help, I've been doing this for
8 years, thanks.
They rekeyed the entire place and I am getting my own
password into the new truck routing system so I don't have
to rely on main warehouse manager.  I dunno how they think
that guy has the time to add another entire warehouse onto his
plate.

He tried contacting me yesterday morning and I simply told
him I have it under control.  This isn't that difficult.
Maybe for a truck driver that has never been interested
in the operations of the company he is working for, yes,
that would pose a challenge but I have learned Trilogy, Descartes and
other programs simply because I want to be able to do this
stuff by myself and if just such things occur as what has happened
in the last few days.  They are going to have to bring in new
people or transfer them from somewhere else around the country.

Well whatever.  Just biding my time, waiting for that phone call.....

G'day.

ben

Home

Flight from Dallas to Phoenix last night.  One gate number on my ticket; another gate number announced by one crew member on the plane before the flight departed; yet another gate given when I got out of the plane and then when I finally got into DFW?  Loud broadcasts of yet another gate change!  Crazy! But it turned out to be my good fortune.  They had to bring in a second plane/crew to handle the load going to Phoenix and I had been reassigned to second aircraft and that plane was maybe 2/3rd's full. I got to my seat, only 1 dude sitting there, no one in middle seat, I had window - I only get window seat.  The guy 2 seats over is my age, nice enough person, we exchanged a few niceties and that was that, I went to sleep.

I was in and out of sleep with the rather loud, pre-recorded sounds of directions broadcast over the plane's speaker system. But finally, got to sleep and didn't wake up for quite awhile.  When I woke up out of that one, I looked around wondering where I was at - had gone into deep sleep, came out a bit dazed.  Looked to my left and there was Josiah sitting there.

????  I thought I must be dreaming, what on earth. That woke me up and I saw the man that had been sitting there was now a kid that looked very much like Josiah - the 16 year old - had on gym shorts and track shoes to boot.  I'm sitting there staring at this kid.  I feel eyes on me.  I look over and there is the man that was sitting next to me. Finally come out of this daze and understand that the man is with family, the boy must have wanted out of that cramped 3 person situation, the dad is staring at me. I just smiled at him - the dad that is - the boy was totally oblivious of it - and yes, I went back to sleep.

It was just very strange that I had this reminder of what I had just left sitting there on the aircraft.

Well regardless. Yesterday, sitting in her house in Texas, my company phone started ringing.  I am looking at the phone and it showing the ops manager.  I instantly had a bad feeling about this, my mind raced through numerous possibilities of why he would be calling me when he knew I was on vacation - and I was not wrong. My manager had been fired and he wanted me to know about it before I came back in.  I found out today the extent of what had happened - my manager had a screw come loose and I have no clue.  I am not going to go into that, but just to say that he fired himself.

I dunno, I don't want to go into all of that I just know that between getting in late last night and coming into that this morning plus having a security guard there - manager had to be escorted off property by police - and the chaos of no-one not knowing what is going on and with orders, I had my hands full.  The main warehouse manager was attempting to tell me what to do, please. He knows full well I do all of this stuff on a daily basis without anyone's help, I don't need this kind of crap being forced upon me.  I just im'ed him back: I have this covered, thanks.

Amazingly, I was left to myself for the rest of the day, driving all over the place.  The ops manager is running our store, he didn't call me a single time.  I know what they were thinking but I quickly assuaged those fears.  I am not going to go off the deep end because of this and they might have to deal with me, too.  Not a happening event.  I am leaving town, I don't need this.  I want to transfer over to another location within our company, not get canned and lose my job. I just won't go into the details of what happened with manager because yes, it was that bad and no, I don't feel it's a good thing to spread that out on the internet even if it may never leave the folds of this blog's corners.

I have not heard back from Shreveport.  I am not necessarily worried, but they said they would give me an answer this week and dangit, I need that answer either for good or bad.  I need to be able to move on one way or the other.  Haven't heard back from American, either.  I am asking for a voucher for free round trip flight for the bs. Okay, long shot I am sure but still, worth a try.

There is more, a lot more actually.  But my second wind has faded and I am drifting out.  It's only a quarter after six but I am coming back from a place that's a quarter after 8.  This whole business of traveling back and forth really messes with my internal clock.  Yeah, I am pretty much exhausted and hope to get something of a decent night's sleep tonight.

ben

The disgust of it.
Oh and my disclaimer: this keyboard not working all that great and often inserts more than one e!

I walked into the boy's bathroom - this is a HUGE house and it has four bathrooms, one of which is between 2 bedrooms and not accessible by the hallway.  It's between the 2 boy's bedrooms.  2 sleep in one, 2 sleep in the other.  The girls sleep in a bedroom across the hallway.

That bathroom? Disgusting.  I mean absolutely disgusting.  Words fail to describe the repulsion that came into me when looking at that gross bathroom, especially the shower room that has the shower/tub and the toilet.  It was worse than gross.  I mean, personally? I would refuse to take a shower in that bathroom much less do much of anything else in there.

You don't understand. There were cut pubic hairs in the sink.  I mean, I about threw up on that one.  Not just a few, I mean the sink was full of it.  The floor was abominable.  But it was the bathtub and the walls around the toilet that made me want to puke.  If that bathtub had been cleaned in the last 2 years I would be shocked.  It was soooooo gross.  Vile. Repulsive. Sickening. Disgusting. Revolting.

I decided to do an experiment.  I would scrub that entire bathroom down - walls, floors, toilet, bathtub/shower wall, clean it up to the point that I would even take a shower in there and then not only see what their reaction was to having a clean bathroom - but also impose some pretty stiff penalties if they decided that they were going to let it slide again.  Penalties not yet decided except for Josiah - he is the oldest in the house and he should be setting an example.  \

It took me an hour an a half to clean just the small side room to the bathroom that has the shower tub and toilet in it. I am not making that up.  I scrubbed that entire tub and wall set up FOUR separate, complete times before it was finally gleaming and looking good.

The ten year old boy was with me the entire time.  He made no fuss.  3 plus hours of it and he was working his ass off.  I was impressed.  But in his case it became apparent that there was much more to this than just wanting to help.  He was clinging to me like flies on a stick strip.  Everywhere I went. I cooked up 2 huge racks of ribs on their grill today. Slow cooking, this was after we were done with the bathroom and I was not going to start anything else, there would be no time to finish it and I didn't want to leave things half done.  So after I got them on there and got it going, I decided to take a nap on the couch in the HUGE living room.  I laid down on the couch, he got on the other end facing me and that was that.

Amazing what a little attention can and will do for a person that gets none of it, whatsoever, from his own dad.  He slipped twice today calling me dad instead of Ben.

Well, there was much more that happened today, MUCH more but I am so tired.  It's late and I think i am going to go to bed instead of writing out a much longer entry.  Try to finish this tomorrow. Flying out of here tomorrow evening, no fun.  Getting home late and then having to get up and go to work the next morning.  Don't mind but I am guessing I am going to be very tired.

Anyways, g'nite.

ben

Disclaimer: using faulted keyboard. Sometimes it works peerfectly other times it does double and triple e's and other such nonsense.

Anyway, went to job interview, store manageer wasn't there.  However, an inside sales manageer that apparently is thee gm's right hand man was there and we got into a discussion about not only business, but then family and life in general.  After about forty minutes of this,  the gm showed up and we headed to his office.  Not sure how we got into a discussion about the Lord/God and miracles, but we did.  Pretty much hit it right off with the two people I did talk to there.

I got a tour of the place, goodness.  It's a total disaster.  I didn't know our company allowed placees to look like that.  Dirty, filthy, unorganized.  I think the manager wants someone to help with that, but appareently no-onee there has such intentions.  Makes him look bad, frankly.  I know how corporate feels about such things.

Long story short, theey have 3 drivers. 2 of them have been there forever.  They have been with the company much longer than I have and they get even more paid vacation days off.  So they are always asking for time off - no big deal excepting that the third is a temp driver and he is not working out.  Our company uses temp agencies mostly to find new drivers to fill positions. /Sometimes you get great drivers other times?  lol.  This particular person has a CDL but.....he can't drive eeither a semi tractor or a bobtail but made himself sound like he was proficient in driving a tractor trailer rig.  I think they have other issues with him as well, they alluded to that but didn't go into it.  Well, yes, I am guessing because he won't pull orders.\ Many truck drivers get that idea in their heads because they are OTR and mostly what's expected of OTR drivers is to - drive. Not load or unload or pull orders or much of anything else.

The only issue is my pay, really. They will get rid of that temp driver but I am making more than your average driver in this company, or even above average driver.  I earned it, I certainliy don't feel bad about it.  I offered that I would be willing to take a pay cut, but not a huge one.  I left there shaking his hand, him telling me he would talk to the Ops manager and that he would try to keep my pay, actually.  It's a forty-five minute drive from Val's house, or somewhere around that. I could deal with that, at least for the here and now in order to be able to get myself out here.

So let's fast forward to the bonfire last night with the guests and kids and all of that. Well, started out with me coming over, getting everyone except Josiah .... well it started 2 nights about ago actually.  He was having a freaking cow that he was going to stay home and we were going to go get his gf without him. Just ridiculous, spiraling way out of proportion. Calm down boy, this isn't worth blowing up over. Spent time with Val after sending the kids upstairs - I started taking a much more authoritative role on this visit, telling kids what to do and not tolerating the bs - and decided we would take the kids to the pinewood derby without Josiah or the fourteen yeaer old brother = they willingly stayed home to clean up  - and then we would come back and I would get into pickup with him, go get the girl, get some diesel fuel for the fire and go to Walmart for the food and drinks for this affair.

Well, Joisah and I get along pretty well and kinda mess around a lot when we are actually in person, together, our personalities are far different but we don't clash.  So went and got the girl, met her mom, went to Walmart.  This was quite the adventure in itself, but anyways got everything and then went to Whataburger and got some burgers, ate them while driving to the gas station, got the fuel, got back and I......took a nap.  Takes me days sometimes to get back to normal after having had been up more than half the night such as occurred at that airport and missed connecting flight.

Got up from that, had Josiah dump a bunch of diesel around the edges of the huge pile of wood and junk, then had to listen to him complaining about how he wouldn't be able to get it started cause it wasn't gasoline.  Gag, dude, just light the cardboard on fire, this thing will take off. Yup, it did, sending up 15 foot flames and black, sooty smoke and got so hot that standing 25 feet away from it was too close. Guests showed up including a lot of teenagers.  Gf's dad came and I hit it off with him right off.  I'm pretty good about that anyway. A person has to be a real jerkoff for me to not hit it off with them pretty good.

Well a couple of hours of this - ladies talking with ladies, teens with teens and the dad and I talking and then? Suddeenly realized the teens had all disappeared. I mean, we looked all over the place, they were nowhere to be found and had not asked for permission to leave.  Actually, they were all looking at me - Josiah should have asked me permission to go wherever, and with that crew I would have said no, unless I go with you. Sorry, but I am not knowingly going to let a bunch of teen boys and girls go off into the woods by themselves doing God knows what and some of them being over there without their parents present.  So, everyone is calling and texting their kids, I was calling and texting Josiah without any response.  Not a good sign.  Started calling him. No reply.  I had a pretty good idea where they were headed, the big lake on the property next store.

5 minutes later, Josiah's reading my texts and going haywire, yeah we're coming back right now! Be there in 5 minutes.  Gf's mom going ballistic.  They get back and she approaches the whole lot of them, completely blows up. When I say blow up,I mean it was really, really bad. So farrrrr out of proportion for the "crime" that had been committed.  I couldn't believe it.  Unbelievable, really.  Kids were all white-faced.  Josiah started shaking. His gf was getting visibly angry at her mom.  After 5 full minutes of this, she commanded the whole lot of them to come over and apologize to me.  So they did ..... but I just blew it off. It's no big deal, you guys are all good.  Which they weren't Josiah was angry and sad and humiliated.  She took him to task in front of all of those people.

It took an hour plus for Josiah and gf to cool down, the mom to realize what an ass she had made of herself and go around apologizing to everyone and Josiah's older sister getting into the mom's face plus making comments to Val about me.  She is very disrespectful to me even though I have said nothing to her.  I thought the party was ruined.  This was really Josiah's party and all of his friends and he was so upset.  I dunno, but maybe an hour later, I took him aside, talked to him for a few minutes and then we threw some more wood on the fire.  A few minutes later, he appeared out of the house with his guitar and away we went.  Whole atmosphere changed and the party got good after that.

Went to bed, totally exhausted, never did get caught up from the first night's fiasco.  Forced myself out of bed this morning, came over, we went to church.  Good service.  Josiah playing with texting phone - put the damned thing away. At the end the pastor had these cards up at the altar.  If you feel compelled, come up, write someone's name on it and drop it at the foot of the cross and pray over that person.  I wrote the 3 names that came to mind - Josiah, Jacob and Nathan.  3 boys, 3 different sets of problems, 3 people to pray for.  Not that I haven't already prayed for all of them.

Unbeknownst to me, Jacob followed me up to the altar and I didn't realize he was behind me until I got back to the seat we were at and he was right behind me.  Got into the van, took the kids over to ex's house, dropped all 6 of them off there and then headed to Chinese restaurant, ate some food, came home, took a nap and here we are.  I gotta good feeling about the job, I think they want me just don't know about the money. They are going to call me this coming week with whatever offer they may have.

Val and I are spending time alone without the kids this afternoon and then go pick them up at eight, they have school tomorrow, no great plans tomorrow but probably i will do some work around here, no lack of that.  This place needs serious attention but the things I would like to see if I can fix are clogged up drains.

That's it and until next time....

G'day.

ben

Strandeed in Dallas, Tx.  This is no fun.  Plane took off late in Phoenix. Why?  Because the freaking jetway was STUCK to the airplane.  They couldn't dislodge and ordered all passengers off of the airplane.  I am not going to try and fix the errors that this keyboard is giving me so that's my excuse in advance.  Anyway, a third of the plane FULL of people got off and then they said get back on! Well, you know how people are, some anyway, well a lot, oblivious to the world.  Take your sweet old time, take 2 minutes to put a bag into an overhead bin that should take you 5 seconds at most.  It cost us in time, we were forty five minutes late leaving.

When we finally landed, I had thirty minutes to get off that plane, get on a tram and get over to the correct gate.  Nothing was working.  People who didn't have connecting flights were instructed to stay in their seats to let those that didn't have connecting flights off first.  No-one cared, of course so since I was near the back of the plane, I was screwed.  Got out of that and to the tram and realized my gate was clear on the other side of the airport.  Those trams at DFW move fast, but not fast enough.  I got to the exit, got off, ran to the gate to find they had just shut it, pulled the jetway away and the plane was sitting there.

They couldn't have cared less. Even if it was their airline's fault that I was late.  Nope, we can't do anytihng for you and the next available flight isn't available until twelve thirty today!  NO WAY.  Valerie was like, nuh-uh, I am coming to get you and she did.  Meanwhile I was making endless calls.  They gave me the boarding passes and free food voucher and a free night's stay at a Marriot and I got the bleep out of there and got to the hotel .  Even if a short stay, FAR better than sitting at that airport for hours.  Got my free dinner, got in my room and almost fell asleep.  .

Val showed up and we drove back, almost 3 hours drive.  Didn't get into town until three am, I knew I would feel like shit today and I wasn't let down.  But no way am I missing that job interview, I don't care how I, I am going and that's that.  She's all over it too, she knows that getting a job determines when I can move out there.

So, I am \sitting at Denny's in Longview, drinking massive amoiunts of coffee and she is heading over with the 3 little ones, should be here pretty quick.  I haven't seen those kids in four months and they like me and I like them, little kids are fun to be around - well no always but usually they can be quite entertaining. The older ones are all at school.  We have nothing planned for after the interview so I am guessing I am going to want to take a nap this afternoon. In fact, I may just break down and do a hotel for one night to ensure a good night's sleep cause' tomorrow? It's going to be quite the day starting with  pinewood derby in the morning and cruising the rest of the day with activities and getting ready for the bonfire tomorrow night.  I just need a good night's sleep for that.  Though I don't doubt that I will get on after last night.  Just that going to bed at 3 am? It doesn't matter what time you get up, at least me, not going to feel one hundred percent, maybe later on and catch a second wind or something.

Actually, the airline did offer to fly me out to Shreveport last night, which is where the interview is, but she wanted to see me so strike that.  Probably would have worked out better for all of us though.  I would be there right now and she could come and get me at the appointed time, take her and the kids to that science place and then head over to the store to meet up with the store's manager.

But oh well.  The airline wouldn't concede anything, either, until i got a supervisor on the line with whatever department I was on with.  She offered me a one hundred buck voucher which I took, better than nothing.  Actually, if they would have kept the gate open until they said it would close, I would have been on that plane and none of this would have happened. They did not and now all this garbage.

Well, make the best of this situation and move on.

Gotta get my mind in the right place so I can have a good visit with that manager.

G'day.

ben