Wanna be manager.
He was transferred to store I am currently working at from California - he was a store manager over there. He wanted to be the manager of the store I am working at.  However, another man that had been working there since his teens and whose father is a salesman with numerous accounts that rake in the dough got the position instead (thankfully, even though I wasn't there when that happened I am reaping the benefits of a decent manager compared to some as*****)

This wanna be tries to call me on my company cell today.  It's not a cellphone, it is a tracking and delivery device that has a cellphone built into it.  Regardless, they gave us new ones that look something like Iphones but do much more.  I hadn't received a call on it yet.  The screen came up with a green accept or a red decline. I hit accept numerous times until the call was lost.

He called again.  I tried again to no avail.  He called my personal cellphone.  I didn't have the ringer on, didn't notice it until the call was already about to drop.  I tried to answer, it was gone. I was a mile from the store, I didn't bother to call back, figured I would find out whatever whoever wanted (I didn't know at the time who was trying to call, to clarify, it was the main number from the store showing up on the phones).

I get back, go to the office, get a cup of coffee and heating it up.  Coffee coming off a coffeemaker is almost never hot enough for me, I have to put it into a microwave for 60 seconds.  This guy comes walking up.  I tried to call you twice.  Yeah, well the phone wouldn't answer.  I tried to call you on your personal phone.  Well I was trying to answer on company phone and this green accept call button was on there but it wouldn't answer.  Oh and I suppose you couldn't answer your own cellphone, either? spoken in confrontational, denigrating tones.

That's when I got pissed but remained calm outwardly. Yeah, Mike, I picked up the phone too late, the call dropped.  I started to try and explain to him what had happened with company phone and he repeatedly stated: I don't want to hear it, I don't care.  4 times he said that and I finally blew a fuse.  What the hell is your problem?  Mr Mouth.  He then threw in out of the blue: you have a problem with everyone here.  I have a problem with 2 people there and after this bs today, 3.  The place is a circus - from hell circus - it is the most anger filled place I have ever seen for employment.  People getting angry at each other and blowing up all the time.

Fortunately for me, the ex manager of the place - he became a salesman - heard the s*** from his office and came up later and asked about it.  I heard everything that was said.  Good, I thought, I have a backup if it comes to that.  In fact, every time something happens with someone saying something stupid to me or saying something and forgetting later or WHATEVER I have had witnesses around.  I never did get to speak to the manager about this.  The ex manager asked if I had done so? Nope, haven't had time and he's been gone when I have had the time.

I don't necessarily feel inclined that if I do one thing for one person, I therefore should have to do the exact same thing for someone else. What I do with my money and how I spend is my decision, no someone else's.  At least not anyone earthly.

Moved to closer town to work.  Trip is 35 miles and 30 minutes of driving.  Probably a little less time today for I tend to put the hammer down once I hit the freeway, which is now only a few minutes away compared to quite a distance before.  Although I like the 2 lane country road that leads to former residence, I didn't much care for it driving in the dark weekday mornings going to work.

Work itself is still a circus.  More like The Devil's Rejects - old clown movie from hell basically.  Anyway, I'm dealing with it best as anyone can.  I'm biding my time to see if, in several months time, I will be able to land a position at my company's location in Longview.  There is also one in Tyler but it's a small operation and they don't currently need anyone.  After this year is over and I see what is going to happen I may entertain moving on to higher paying job in the area.  There are several of them listed but there are a lot of people applying for them.  I have a stable work history - one that does not include jumping around from place to place - which is what employers like to see in terms of the trucking industry.

But I am growing to hate the truck industry and it's ridiculous amounts of regulations and am seriously considering a late life shift to something else, even if college is necessary.  I am intrigued by her ex's job as a plant operator.  His particular job requires a 2 year degree but there are jobs out there that only require a 90 day training program.  Excellent pay and benefits, driving not necessary.  Great vacation benefits and good health care coverage.

Whatever the case, I am losing interest in an industry that is over regulated and no long has public respect.  Hasn't had public respect in ages.  Then again, there are a lot of drivers out there - trucks that is - that have no business being on the road and take zero pride in their work.  They dress like street people and throw urine bottles out the windows. Their trucks are filthy and they are unkempt and many are extremely over weight, eating truck stop food instead of taking due diligence to watch their weight and health.  But the federal government isn't helping things, either and lots of veteran drivers are leaving the driving work force.  Eventually this situation will play itself out, but it may be years down the road.

Well, time to be off to work.

G'day.

Walaah.
I got a call today from soon to be ex-landlord. New property
owners said I could stay til' Sunday to get my stuff out of  here.
Were they being nice or did they contact the Realtor to find out
their rights? I hope the former and that they are being nice to let
me have the time I need to get everything accomplished.  I was
over at my potential new place today - the bedroom is awesome.
It's huge with a HUGE private bathroom and a very large walk-in
closet.  I find out Saturday about whether these people will actually
rent to me.

I have a bad feeling about it, to be honest.  Yes, Val got this going,
but I didn't realize that this is a much younger couple with a newborn
baby. The baby doesn't scare me, the younger couple part does.
Simply because that age realm usually likes to hang out with - the
same age realm, not a much older person.  I had my hopes up about
this place, now I don't know.  I guess I better start looking again
in case this falls through.

Early to work today, normal time getting off, busted @$$ all day
long. Felt good.  Same thing tomorrow, at least about starting
early, I was informed as delivery to be made at a place that is
1-1/2 hour drive and delivery needs to be there by 8.  Well, I'm
going to show up at 6:30 and if it gets there by 8, wonderful, if
not, oh well.  

Fallout,

Roller coasters go up and down.

And around.

Some of them go upside down - several times and then around and up and down.

Imagine being on one all the time and never getting off of it.

Regardless, intended move date is Friday.  Actually, I can't move into new

place until I meet the husband of the lady that offered the room.  He has

been out of town and won't be returning until late Friday night.  Which means 

I don't get to meet him til' Saturday - but - I have to be out of this place no 

later than Friday.

Actually, they tried to change the move-out date to Thursday/tomorrow to

which I refused.  They didn't even give me 30 days notice to move, which is

required by law if I wanted to be a stickler about it and then they gave me 

Friday as a "no-later-than" move out date and then at the last minute attempting

to tell me I have to be out Thursday?  No thank you.  The current owner said

okay then, I'll just let them know.  

I then found out she didn't even ask them if I could stay as a renter or not.

She had told me on a couple of occasions that she would.  Perhaps I will meet

the new owners on Friday since it will close and usually new owners want to 

move in right away - I know Val is planning on the same thing as soon as she

can get on her new property.  But it isn't her property until her house closes,

the money is transferred to all the intended recipients and her house is officially

owned by someone else and her new house is officially owned by - her.  Back 

to the subject, if, by some remote chance, the new owners would let me stay,

moving becomes a moot point.  I would love to stay right where I am at.  

Regardless, I have a new place to live - potentially anyway it's not set in 

stone yet - and it's 15 miles closer to work.  It's 15 miles further away from

church but the loss of miles to work far outweighs many other factors.  At

least for the time being anyway.  There are other factors that may present 

themselves in the not-so-distant future but I refrain from going into that right

now since nothing is definitive yet.

Now - is just a waiting game.  Packing is almost complete, I am in a small

place and I don't have a lot over here.  In fact, the furniture belong entirely

to Val as she set this place up before I came to town.  It is all going back to

her place as intended new living arrangements is fully furnished and no need

for anything at all from what I know.  I need to call that lady today and make

sure we are still on that course.  It's "all but guaranteed" that I can move in, 

the husband thinks he should meet me first even if there are no reservations at

all about it.

I don't blame him. They didn't advertise their room for rent, the former renter

moved to another town.  They "didn't want just anyone" moving into their

home.  I've been doing that for years with my house in Phoenix, but it is a

 totally different story over there.  It's a come what may situation and if whoever

comes doesn't work, they are summarily removed - legally of course - but

they are given the boot.  It takes a truly rotten person for it not to work over

there.  And yes, I have had some truly rotten people in there.  

German Wing Airplane that crashed into the French Alps.  I have a love affair

with flying, even though I will never be a pilot though in the last 2 years I have

been able to get on some commercial jets and get some passenger time in - 

crammed to the gills situations which I was not accustomed to but whatever.

I have watched probably every episode of Air Crash Disaster and Mayhem

and I think there's another one.  Which doesn't make me afraid of flying, 

much to the contrary, the shows give glimpses of different aspects of how

commercial jets work as they delve into the specifics of why any particular 

airplane crashed.  This latest one has been described as a debris field of no

more than 2 football fields wide - which means to me the thing came straight

down and explains why one official said everything is "pulverized".  

I feel for the families/loved ones of the deceased as no-one survived, but still

it is a fascinating subject.  The reasons for these crashes vary greatly.  The

last episode I watched was of a plane that got into the draft of a jumbo jet

ahead of it.  The pilot punched the aileron pedal to the left, then the right,

then the left, then the right and then the left again.  Or the other way around,

I don't remember, but there were 5 hard inputs that the aircraft was not designed

to be able to hand, which led to parts of the aircraft breaking off and the aircraft

plummeting into the ground.  Turns out the carrier had trained the pilots that this

was an acceptable method of attempting to correct an aircraft and bring it back

to level flight. Not until after that crash and investigators eventually found out

what caused the crash that it became known that that is NOT an acceptable

means to correct the aircraft.

Simply saying that there are so many things that could go wrong after watching

so many of these investigations that speculation usually doesn't do much of anything

but feed the news medias headlines to keep it of interest to the general public.  And 

attempt to allay fears that there is something inherently wrong with that aircraft - or

conversely - attempt to show that the aircraft is a dangerous piece of junk flying

through the air as was the case with the DC-10 and it's numerous crashes back 

in the - 80"s? 70's? don't remember.  

Enough.  

I was going to meet up with two people today to look at rooms they had for rent.  One texted me and said a person that had viewed the room previously had decided to take the room and was going to pay her tonight.  The other - I drove clear out there at previously agreed time and find out the dude is still at work and won't be home until 8:00 pm - we were to meet at 6:00.  Kinda pissed me off he didn't bother to contact me about that.

I've been spending more time than I care to admit to try and find a new place to live and am not coming up with anything good.  There was a duplex that sounded good - until I got there and saw this trashed out looking dump that I would never even think of living in.  I've looked at apartments, duplexes, rooms, whatever.  One place has an RV for rent but it's $475 per month.  That's pretty pricey for an old RV, even if it is in good condition.  There are not a lot of options out here, not like Phoenix.

Got on the 4 wheeler today and took a ride around the property.  No-one was there, I beat them home from wherever they were at.  It's really a beautiful piece of land.  I drove to an area of thick trees and sat there.  Quiet, beautiful, serene.  That is until a yellow 4 wheeler came zooming up with Nathan on it.  Hadn't seen the kids since Sunday.  We talked for a while until a very loud voice yelled out: Nathanael!!!!! from up above.  Ummm, Nathan, did you ask if you could go for a ride?  No.  Ohhhh, I think you're in trouble.  But, he's always in trouble so he doesn't really care that much.

I have too much going on and taking a ride to get some peace was good.  More of that is necessary for me.  Alone, away from people and all the noise and chaos.

Work pretty much blowing up.  Young driver went into our manager today and "informed" him that another driver is lazy and doesn't do anything.  The manager looked at him and said, "well isn't that kinda like the pot calling the kettle black?".  The kid driver goes around bashing everyone behind their back, yes he's the worse employee there. These new devices they dumped on us show everything.  I mean everything.  Where you are at. The entire route you have taken. If you stopped somewhere, it shows where you stopped and how long you were there.  They were looking at a route he took last week.  He was going 100 MILES out of the way to get to a job site. Why? Because he wants to drag out his runs and make sure he doesn't get back too quick.

He has made enemies out of the rest of the drivers.  On another front, the receptionist was cussed out by purchasing agent. She - the receptionist - is not a person you want to mess with and this "man" is going to find that out.  She stopped him in mid sentence - on the phone that is - and told him ... I don't know who the f*** you think you are talking to, but this ain't going to fly with me.  It's the most poorly run operation in terms of tolerance for unbelievable verbal abuse that I have ever seen.  And even more going on over there that I won't bother going into because I don't feel like it and it's getting late.

I mean, I drove over to that area to meet that guy and see the room and he was held up.  I went to the property and rode my 4 wheeler waiting for Val/kids to get home. Then we did my taxes.  That took an hour and a half.  $1,600 coming back, so I ain't going to complain but I am extremely tired and it's time to go to bed.

G'nite.

So, I'm at work today. It's pouring rain starting early this morning.  I mean, there are 4 drivers standing around doing nothing.  The rain has been going on for quite a long time now, it has hit our business hard.  Hours cut back for drivers - from 50 per week to 45. Gonna hit hard the first paycheck that sees that kind of hour cut.  I came out here expecting 50 hours of work per week because that is what I was promised.

Anyway, I'm standing in the shed - they call it a shed it's a very large metal building used for material storage. Pretty much when there's nothing to do we go out there and hang out.  Eddie - another driver - comes walking out from the building across the way yelling my name. Ben!!! Ben!!! He gets close enough to respond without yelling and I'm like - what?  Why the hell didn't you tell us?  Why didn't I tell you WHAT?!!
What the bleep are you talking about?

These new phones! You knew what they could do and you didn't tell any of us about it!  He starts telling me he had a friend technician take a look at it.  Well that's heavier than a phone and that ain't no phone.  Nope, I said, it isn't a phone.  It has phone capabilities but it's far from a phone.  It is Big Brother.  These things are the newest generation of delivery tracking devices such as you see FedEx or UPS using - but it's smaller than an Iphone and is all touch screen.  The first time I looked at it I told them - management - what I thought about such technology being used "against" it's own personnel.

They can listen to your phone conversations, see every text message, see where you are at anywhere at anytime. But this thing can be used to remotely listen to your private conversations.  Both the microphone and the camera can be turned on remotely.  It can be turned on remotely AND you, the driver, won't know it's watching and listening to you.  I spoke my extreme resistance to the thing and told management I would be bundling the thing in a towel so it can see or hear NOTHING of my private life inside a truck.  They don't NEED to know that.  Humanity has survived - forever - without such s*** and can go on without it.

How did I know the thing could do that? I didn't know, I just knew.  Technology is going too far.  It is intruding into our personal lives and taking over society.  Some of it was good in the beginning, but it is going to far.  Scientists are attempting to devise a system that literally reads your mind.  Do you really want that? Because if they persist, I believe they will eventually get it.  How far do we let this stuff go before we say gee, this isn't such a great idea after  all?  I grew up without all of this stuff and life was grand.

How Eddie knew I knew I have no idea.  I didn't ask him as the conversation went directly into what this thing's capabilities are.  You don't spend the kind of money the company spent on it for something that doesn't give them the information they are looking for.  Data and research be damned, this world is going to hell and technology is making it happen much faster.  But then again, the Bible speaks of such.

It is no secret the advancement of technology. Police cars can be equipped with readers. The car is parked facing traffic with this reader reading license plates. Traffic tickets are mailed and all kinds of information is acquired.  It's outrageous. I don't care what "good" they affix to it, it's total bulls***. Just like when police want to search your car or home.  What do you have to hide? When you tell them no, which I have done. I have nothing to hide, I have everything to resist.  You have no right to search anything unless you have probable cause and nowadays, that is a slippery slope. A lot of "probable cause" issues that have come before courts have been tossed when the facts come out and it's established there WAS no probable cause.

The conversation in the shed ended with gee, yes, if you don't want them to hear your personal conversations or be able to video record what you are doing, take that freaking thing and wrap it up to the point it can see or hear nothing.

Driver's license renewal.
Gag.
I was first told that I had to make an appointment in both Texas and Arizona  to do any CDL transactions.
In other words, to show up at a drivers license office, I had to make an appointment in either state.
The lady I finally spoke with, however, contradicted that. No honey, you just show up here with proper
credentials and we will get it done.
Arizona? Found on their website two locations that don't need an appointment, one of them a place I have been going to for a long, long time anyway.

The dilemma is simply that my commercial driver's license is about to expire.  To renew it in Texas I need a birth certificate, which I don't have since I never replaced it after my house burned down some years ago and almost everything in the house burned up with it.

To get a Texas CDL, I need proof of residency. To get proof of residency, I have to register my vehicle.  To register my vehicle, I have to have an inspection done on the car.  Etc etc etc.  Yes, I am going to try doing all of that, register the car, already have a new birth certificate ordered, have the rest of the documentation but in the end?  I may have to end up flying back to Arizona to get this done.

The worst part of all of this is this is a complete oversight on my part.  I should have seen this coming and started this process LONG ago.  But I didn't even realize my license was going to expire until last week when my company sent my manager a notification that it is about to expire and it needs to be renewed and sent into corporate.  I'll give my company credit for catching this in time for me to have enough time - hopefully - to get this resolved.

It's fairly stressful since my livelihood depends on that license.

Oh well.

Haven't been here in a  while - which is okay.  I have another place I am writing.
But I can update here once in a while.
I have had one of my 4 wheelers over at this backyard mechanic's house for almost 2 months now.
Not that it matters, it was not in running condition when I got it.  I figured some engine work, I didn't
figure the amount of engine work it needs.  I would have taken the thing apart myself and slowly rebuilt it - with whatever tutoring I would need online to get it done.

I have rebuilt plenty of car engines, I doubt ATV engines are too terribly different. Piston, rings, crankshaft, head, valves.  Don't forget the bearings.  And boring the block if necessary.

I was informed by someone yesterday that replacing CV boots on the Polaris would be too difficult for me. Uh huh.  CV boots.  Yes, you have to take apart a lot of stuff.  You have to remember how to put it all back together.  I did truck and car mechanics for a lot of years. It was a while back now, but I figure I can figure it out with the help of the internet if necessary.  And for as much time as it has taken for this dude to get anything done, a 4 wheeler sitting up on jacks for a few weeks or less isn't going to be a big issue.

At least, not for me it won't. Other parties I dunno.

But, the dude has the other one torn apart and sent the engine somewhere so I just have to wait.  But the Polaris? I'm starting to get irritated. It should have been done 2 weeks ago.  The cooling fan wasn't coming on, I figured either a bad motor or more likely a bad sensor.  Turns out the things has 2 sensors and they are attached or built into 2 separate thermostats? What kind of nonsense is that?

I'm just going to have to start learning ATV mechanics so I won't have to pay someone to do the work.  Or have to wait forever for someone I don't mind paying to do the work for.  I was surprised to find out that ATV parts cost more than car parts.  Same kinds of parts - far higher prices.

Turmoil at the house with a non paying tenant and another who is attempting to dictate to the house what he can and cannot do.  Including turning up or down the thermostat according to the season/time of year it is.  The man is in danger of eviction, for I will not tolerate such shit in my house, even if it is 1,200 miles away.  He has been living there for over 3 years.  My tolerance does not include tenants dictating to the house what they will or will not do.

Work - crappy.  Pay reduction, a person working there that is constantly in a very sour mood,  long drive, just getting tired of it.

Church - still looking.  Passing by a retreat every day that I just found out is internationally renowned prophet.  Dunno if they have weekly church services or what, going to look into it.

Life in general not bad, just a lot of stuff going on.

FedEx Driver Runs Me Off The Road At 75 MPH!!!

Driving to Val's house after work today. 75mph speed limit so yes, I was going 75mph. I'm passing a FedEx semi - it's tractor with 2 28 foot pup trailers being pulled behind it. I'm right next to the tractor when - this truck starts coming over into my lane! It didn't stop either, in a flash it was almost entire over and where was I? In the median, flying through the grass at 75mph! I'm honking my horn the dude finally moves back over, and no he wasn't passing anyone, there was no-one on the right shoulder, he was just plain spacing out.

 This guy could care less, either, doesn't pull over to see if anything's wrong, just keeps on cruising right down the interstate. I get behind him and call his company. We're sorry, yada yada yada, we are going to contact his manager. And then what? The front end of my car is shaking now and I want compensation for any damages. Well we send it to the manager and then they - do whatever. Extremely unconvinced that this was going to end with any kind of reconciliation, I called 911. I was just run off the road into the center median by a FedEx truck and the front end of my car is shaking, he forced me into the grass at 75 mph (scared the pee out of me to be honest!), is there some way I can get you to have him be pulled over so I can get a report on this (providing this guy tells the truth, of course, who knows but I was going to try)? 

Lady says she will send it to appropriate department, what's my number? This doesn't sound good either, but I gave my number and the next thing I know, a dispatcher is calling me and telling me there are 2 units at mile marker 610 - where are you? 607! 3 miles! Gag. But the truck was going 63 mph and they caught up in about - 15 miles, lol. Pulled us over, dealt with the driver, got a form to fill out, etc etc etc sent me on my merry way, dunno if they issued him a ticket, warning or what.

 I'll tell you what pissed me off about this. I've been driving trucks almost 30 years, if I were to do something like that, I would immediately pull over and make sure everything is okay, not just drive on down the road and act like nothing happened. If he would have done that, the police wouldn't have had to have gotten involved. Whatever. I'll give FedEx some kudos, though, some level of management called me like an hour later and asked what had happened and profusely apologized for their driver's actions. Whether they pay up after I get it fixed and present them the bill? We'll find out!

Today. I get a text message from the 15 year old.  Can I work for some money? Umm, well sure.  How much will you pay me?  How much do you want? $100.

Lol.  This kid's version of working is to walk around in circles for 2 hours claiming he doesn't have this or that and can't do anything and then go up and watch tv or play the guitar and then come back down saying he's working - which he is not - and he wants a hundred bucks from me.

He steals money from his mom's purse to boot. Like the 20 he took 2 days ago.  Whatever the case, I replied no. 90? No.  Later - 10.  Okay.  I'll give you 20 if you do everything - large amount of work actually.  But he's done much of nothing around there for quite a while, if he actually wants me to give him money, he's going to have to work for it, not just screw off.

"I'll have it all done by the time you get here".  Ummm, that's a lot of work!  He hadn't even STARTED working by the time I got there, he was walking around acting like it but doing nothing.  I found him upstairs watching tv in mom's room after he claimed he had started.

No, he didn't get any money.

16 year old.  Has done very little around there for going on 2 months now.  It's to the point that I am starting to do his work because it needs to be done.  Gaping hole in fence.  I asked him to go look at it yesterday.  We were in the woods pickup up stick and such to make a pile for winter. Strike that: I was picking up sticks, he was sitting on one of the four wheelers texting his gf.  He rides off, comes back and says yup, it needs to be fixed. Just blankly staring at me stating it, knowing full well it's his responsibility.  I said nothing to him.

I came over today and set about doing it myself.  He "intervened".  Well nobody told me to do it!  Stupid answer.  Just pure BS and he knew it.  No, I'm going to do it I replied, you don't want to do anything around here, I'm going to do your stuff. And, I didn't tell him, I'm going to suggest to her that she take his phone and truck privilege away from him and oh well.

Next I am going to do the bush hogging.  He claims no one can drive that tractor. BS again.  I have operated cranes, forklifts, backhoes, trackhoes and graders, I can certainly operate a simple tractor.  But that wasn't his point I found out.  He is the "only" one that can use it.  Who cares, too bad, so sad.  You'll destroy the brush hogger. I hope not, I reply, but I am going to do it anyway.  Two children - 15 and 16 - totally abusing their mom.  Verbal abuse of a kind that is beyond any scope of sanity.  Especially Josiah.

House a disaster today. After Josiah just got the stuff and walking down there - who knows what kind of job he did, half assed I'm sure because he allegedly fixed that same fence a few months ago - I went in and worked with Nathan to clean the kitchen.  He wasn't mouthing off but he wasn't happy either.  But then again, who can be happy in a house where a 15 and a 16 year old are unloading shit?

Andrew - the 11 year old - the only one that really kept his attitude good.  After he had done a lot of stuff, I gave him 4 bucks and said this is for keeping a good attitude.

Whatever. A day in the life and times of.

ben

Today's musings.
Went to a job site.  Drove the semi onto the site as I have done before.  The top of the ground was dry, everything underneath it?  Mud.  Realized it too late and was stuck in clay.  I get the construction company to bring a dozer over and hook a strap up to it - no chains in the truck (retarded, what construction truck doesn't have chains?) and the strap broke.  Another man drove up in a pickup truck, got out, started cussing heavily.  Came up and started cussing at me.  I told you not to drive in here!  Blah blah blah lots of foul language.  I'm just looking at him biting my tongue.  I admit I have ulterior motives in not telling him to go shove it up his @$$, he has the equipment to get me out of there, otherwise we are going to have to call a wrecker to come and drag it out of there at big bucks.

The man says he doesn't have a chain, but then says he does have one - at the other end of the jobsite but refused to go get it - not that I asked, i was ready to knock his teeth out for the way he was addressing me and took everything in me not to do that. I usually do not take such s*** from people at jobsites.  I will get in the truck and drive off - which I couldn't do! lol.  Told me I would have to get someone to come out and bring a chain.  I just looked at him. Probably was glaring, actually.  He took off, I made the phone call. Send someone out with a chain, this guy has one but won't bring it.  Set off a firestorm I found out later, I am not the first person he has cussed out, in fact, he cussed out the manager last week.  Salesman said screw the idiot, he can go to our competitor.

Regardless, I got out of the truck after that and started digging out in front of the tires. Not the first time I got a truck stuck and undoubtedly not the last, not with the places we go to. I saw that I could get the thing unstuck and went at it post haste.  Digging like crazy, get all the mud out of the front of all of the tires on the tractor and the trailer and I should be able to get the thing moving again. That guy can go - jump in a lake putting it very mildly.

Next thing I know, I hear a truck pull up and a voice saying something.  That dude, undoubtedly,  on the other side of my truck, I completely ignored him. Just kept digging.  He came around to my side of the truck but I had already moved to the other side, I am NOT going to tolerate his SHIT, if he was to mouth off to me again, I would have let him have it, nose to nose, right in his face.  Instead, he had brought a chain and was going to pull it out!  What the freak.  Seriously, if you had heard the way he was cussing at me and yelling, you would have had the same reaction. I NEVER spoke an ill word to the man.

He pulled it out, I drove to another place where they wanted to unload, got that done, the guy came back and profusely apologized to me. Okay! Thank you for pulling the truck out!

Moving on.  Over at m'lady's house today.   I have a new weapon, lol.  The kids and the 4 wheelers.  Yup.  Clean your rooms, keep them clean, get up in time for school, don't give lip service no attitude, etc etc etc.  Okay, it's not a weapon, just a useful tool.  It's working at least for now.  Until they get bored with them.  If they ever do, who knows.

And now?  Too late for me.  Time for bed.

ben

Something that I have literally always wanted since I was a kid were dirt machines - bikes and back then 3 wheelers - to play around with and have some fun with.  My parents were totally against such things as well as guns. So, we didn't learn how to hunt or use guns when growing up and any kind of motorized off road vehicle was strictly prohibited.

One thing I insisted on before I even came out here was that i was going to buy some 4 wheelers and we are going to have some fun with them! Coming out here, for me, this was mandatory.  And in the last 2 weeks, I have scored twice on 2 of them that were priced well below what they are worth and today?  Aye yay yaiiiii!
I saw this thing on Craigslist and immediately sent an email to the poster.

Polaris 500, 4WD, in excellent condition, $1,500.  Are you serious?  When he finally contacted me back, I was already headed to m'lady's house - with fully 4 conversations going on.  I got to her place and discussing a plethora of issues going on with kids and the house and then the dude contacts me.  We're headed that way!  We (just her and I) headed over there.  Upon arrival I took one look at that thing and thought: if this thing is in the excellent running condition that they say it is, I am buying it!

Sure enough. Took that thing for a ride down a nice long trail and wow!  I had already gotten a final price well below the $1,500 asking price.  This thing has high and low 4 wheel drive.  The handle for front brakes actually operates ALL the brakes, there is a pedal for the rear brakes but not necessary unless under extreme mudding conditions, lol.  The selling point for me is that it has been WELL taken care of and yes, this thing will haul @$$!

I am done with all of the 3 wheel purchases.  2 running - in great condition and one a project but confident I can get it up and going soon enough.

That was my "day" after work today.

Now?

Time for bed.

ben

Microphone entry. Meaning there will be errors and not going to fix them. Three day weekend coming up. Tomorrow will be workday, Sunday a trip to hurricane Harbor and Arlington, Monday probably barbecue and four wheeling.

I figured to get close to a full days work out of the kids tomorrow considering the opportunities that lie ahead and having fun and not having to do anything. At least that's my take on it if you can get them to work a whole day give them a day of fun afterwords. Very much want to start on the master bedroom bathroom. The tile won't have to be torn out of it as well as the bathtub and at least one wall.

The countertop in that bathroom was destroyed by older teenage kids that were going to turn that room and another one into some sort of party place for kids to come to. Somewhat this main considering that particular countertop is pretty much a high dollar set up as was the rest of the house when I was originally built. Replacing such things with other high-quality material is not exactly a cheap expenditure.

The cabinetry and there is also high quality craftsmanship, but those are not trashed and all that needs is a good paint job. It will undoubtedly take quite some time to renovate that bathroom but it will be well worth it. It is currently yellow including the bathtub and the tile has a crack running through in about 8 to 9 feet long. Personally I cannot envision coming into an ugly yellow bathroom every morning to take a shower to get ready for work.

Hurricane Harbor was a good night D at first, but then a serious issue arose that made it seem to be not such a great idea after all. However, the damage was done the kids knew about it and it would've been very disappointing for them for us not to go. I was, in fact, opting to go to the lake for reasons and I simply cannot go into here. Weather hurricane Harbor is going to be a fun trip for a total disaster remains to be seen. Again, for reasons and I simply cannot going to be here it's personal business.

I am guessing the kids will have fun regardless of what happened so I suppose it won't be a total loss anyway. As for tomorrow's work I demand that they do some work at least for five hours of it to get some stuff done around the house and show that they really do appreciate the amount of money and the time and the effort and the energy it's going to take to take them all over there.

Frankly I would've demanded the work regardless. Mud we have some toys now which is also helping to motivate them greatly. In fact the motivation from these toys is far more than I expected that it would have been terms of motivating them to get stuff done. These kids are extremely bored because there is is not that much to do at this place. TV is restricted to the point that there is no sense in even having satellite television in the house. A straight authoritarian dictatorship is obviously not having the intended effect that those that are in acting it intended it to have. Much to the opposite, it feels feelings of presentment and I anger.

But who am I to say anything? 

It's Friday another five hours of work and the three-day weekend does begin. It is always unfortunate that it seems like three-day weekends go by so quickly. Like they never existed. Be that has it maybe it is definitely welcome to Monday Tuesday morning will get here quick enough but definitely would not be on my mind during that time.

I wish I can say that I'm settling into some kind of groove in living my life over here but so far that isn't happening. Long work days followed by visits have me up early and I have me  home late. The problem is that there is not enough time to get everything done that needs to be done, much less time to get things done that I want to get done. 

A nice compromise at work would be at least a couple of days where I can get off early, but then the bills wouldn't be mad because I rely relay on the overtime to make up for the lack. The only real alternative to getting my life back to some hours that would give me more free time would be to find a new job somewhere. Though I am considering and it isn't necessarily something that I really want to have to do.

Meanwhile, the place that I am running apparently the woman that owns the land has put the sale of it on hold. I guess she was informed that if she did a number of upgrade she would get exponentially more money for the land and property and housing etc. which is good for me because I don't really feel like moving.

Just an update on things and I haven't done on the on here in a while, I am doing much of my journaling on a different site at this point.

Good day

Ben

Been  sick - or down - or whatever - since Saturday night.  Extreme fatigue, as in, no energy to do much of anything.  Just laying around sleeping.
Went into an emergency care place yesterday and had a barrage of blood tests done.  The results today were negative on everything that had come back so far, still the thyroid and testosterone ones yet to come back.
I have been off work yesterday and today.  Spent Sunday night at her place at her insistence, she was worried and I didn't really have the energy to be staying by myself without any help if needed so I caved in on that one.  Just came back tonight.  I intend on going to work tomorrow - unless I simply cannot drag my butt out of bed tomorrow morning.  I have plenty of sick hours available and if that weren't true, I am back up to 91 hours of vacation time available.  But yeah, I had 49 hours of sick leave available as of Sunday night, subtract 18 from that and I still have plenty left.  I just don't like taking too much time off of work for sick leave.  Vacation another story.

Spent the entire day today with 4 of the kids - mom went to work and told the nanny to stay home today she can come back tomorrow.  In other words, save her some money.  I felt fine this morning, actually and took them out to Denny's cause' they kept asking and I was hungry and didn't want to cook. But after I got back from that, look out.  It hit me like a ton of bricks and I laid around the rest of today.

And that's it for this update cause' energy levels aren't particularly high and I don't want to stay up late, going to go to bed early tonight.

ben

Talking with a co-worker today.  He is unhappy with the pay.  In fact, all 3 other drivers complain about the pay frequently.  Yes, it is not very good, I totally agree but they are making even less then  I am.  I mean, I am not going to work for this kind of money forever.  Yes, I am getting a little bigger paycheck than I used to but I am working 2 extra hours and then some each and every day to get it.  I replied to him that I have been encouraged to find a job in Longview and I am considering looking.  If I am going to work 10, 11, 12 extra hours a week, I want to see that on my paycheck as extra not as gee, I got what I used to get at 8 hours.

"Beeeeen (that's how the black folks always say my name),  ever since you started working here I have been all happy that you are here! I won't blame you for going and finding another job somewhere else, but the workload has been greatly reduced off both Tony and I since you came here!  You have made us all happy!".

I'm not patting myself on the back, but I learned at an early age a good work ethic.  I also learned that if you want better pay, go above and beyond for it.  That contradicts two driver's philosophy that I am working too hard and I must be getting paid a lot versus them not getting paid much and therefore doing whatever the hell they want and taking their sweet old time about things.  You should hear the scoffing directed towards me as they see me thoroughly cleaning out the cabs of the trucks.  I refuse to drive in squalor and filth, these trucks are DISGUSTING.

I'm going to start looking around the area for whatever is available.  I don't see a lot online, but I have found that the good jobs are usually not posted online, you have to go out and find them.  My BIG problems is if I quit my current job and I lose some crazy good paid vacation hours.  At least in my opinion they are, 151 hours per year.  That's only 9 hours short of 4 weeks paid vacation per year, plus 3 floating holidays, 3 personal days and 5 sick days not to mention 6 major holidays, no weekend work and generally good management.  I'm telling you, if they would up my pay I would consider staying and just deal with it.  It doesn't take long to get vacation hours back up, especially with that much overtime which also counts towards vacation pay.

I'm in no hurry to make the wrong decision, so I'm just taking each step as I see to take it.

Waiting to hear whatever from IRS about tax returns I sent in - 3 years worth.  3 grand worth as well.  My paperwork arrived in the Philippines,wait and see what's going to happen with that.  Josiah in a reported serious car wreck today, apparently he pulled out in front of someone and basically totaled the work van he was driving.  Not sure why a business owner would allow a 16 year old driver who just started driving drive a work vehicle, that doesn't really make any sense to me.  If that business owner knew what I know about how Josiah drives, he definitely would not let him drive anything.  Josiah is okay, thankfully, but some lessons to be learned.

That's it for today!

ben

The end of another weekend and facing another week of - whatever - at work.  This weekend's "stuff" consisted of a lot of bickering between Josiah and his mom - all 3 days actually I think they got into it - about a myriad/large assortment of things.  Nothing new under the sun here.  Saturday morning, though, I was wasted tired.  I just couldn't get moving.  I had some of the kids over and they didn't care if they went home or not anyway so I just laid in bed until - 10:00 pm?  I think, finally got up, still dragging and just finally got over there at around noon, lol.

But yes, we did get to work.  There is a huge amount of stuff to be done over there, sometimes figuring out what to do is somewhat daunting because there is SO much, what takes priority over what?  But since we had started the stairwell several weeks ago, it was time to get with it and finish the trim.  Meaning putting up a 20 foot 2X12 from the top of the stair well over to a ladder leaned up against a wall and a support in the middle - and standing on this while having people hold it to ensure my safety that the whole mess wouldn't fall over and having me falling 15 plus feet.

Unfortunately, I am going to have to put a second coat on that trim.  Oil based paint on the trim in that house, you have to put oil based back on top of it.  The first coat looked semi okay but just not anything you would call the finished version of it.  So next weekend - or whenever - going to get up there and do that all over again and get that misery over with.  Today was my third straight day in a row over there and tomorrow no different.  Kids are gone and we are going to spend quality time alone together.

Anyway, I'm blasted tired and need to git to bed.

G'nite.

ben

Time.
Very little of it that I consider "free" at this point.  Days are consumed in their entirety.
Concerning work, I have completely cleaned out the F550.  It's a ford pickup on the front but on the back it's a 17 foot long flatbed with duallies. The interior of the cab of that truck was disgusting.  The first time I got into it - well it was revolting, it was that bad.  Filth, grime, dirt, spilled whatever and trash all over the entire interior of the that truck.  I get switched around from truck to truck every where. One week the F550, the next week the straight truck (heavy duty 10 wheeler) and the next week the semi.  I cleaned out the 10 wheeler but I didn't do anything on the F550.

The reason is that I was afraid that I would clean the thing out and then?  Other drivers would just trash it out again.  But, this week, I couldn't stand it any long and scrubbed the entire interior of the thing and it is a pleasure now to drive in it!  I know that next week, the driver that is an absolute pig will be in it and then after that - well whoever, whatever.  When I finally get back in that truck again and if it's trashed out, I am going straight to the manager, who handed out a paper today with directives on it which included "keep the cabs of the vehicles clean".

Yes, it is an issue with me, a big one.  When you are driving in a filthy vehicle all day long, you take no pleasure in it.  You get into the thing and it just feels gross.  Especially a vehicle in that bad of condition.  I went through rolllllllllls of papers towels cleaning it out.  I was doing it at stops when I had a minute here and there.

Anyway.  I didn't get back from yesterday's final run until 6:20 pm.  I mean, I knew that run was going to keep me out late but it turned out even later than I expected because of issues with traffic (I-20 in Louisiana there was a 5 mile back up going from 0 to 5 mile speeds the entire way - when I finally got to the source of the problem, it was a bridge that was having new concrete poured and workers were all the way into the lane we were driving in, mean everyone was slowing WAY down), an issue finding a contractor's - house I found out at the end.  This and that.

It's odd but at the same time enjoyable really to be driving out on those country roads out in the middle of nowhere with thick, dense forests EVERYWHERE.  That is no joke. I walked into it the other day to - go pee lol no bathrooms around and had been holding it in too long - the denseness of it was astounding.  The humidity is a different story.  But I am dealing with it, just have to start sweating to feel cool again.

Issues on the home front as on tenant is giving - hell - to my caretakers and both they and I have had enough. I am going to text him and ask him to leave.  If he refuses, I will send a 30 day notice of eviction and hope he leaves without me having to take him to court, cause if I have to do that?  Uhhhh, yeah. Fly back to Phoenix to deal with a tenant issue.  Gag.

That's it, it's late, gotta git to bed.

ben

Neglect of my journal.

Relatively easy thing to do with the kind of schedule I am maintaining at this point.  

Foregone conclusion that if I want any semblance of a life back, I am going to have to find a job that doesn't consume the entire day and have me arriving back at 6 pm. 

Likely difficult to do, though, finding a new job closer to home with better hours.  Getting off at 3 or 4 would be a big improvement.  Just anything that would give me a couple of extra more hours a day would be greatly helpful and I know I will never be able to get that at the place I am working now. Number 1 because they want you to stay until 5, number 2 because I can't afford not to stay until 5 with they pay they are giving me.  

I put in a large number of hours this week, even more than the 50 I am now working.  Great for paychecks, crappy for any kind of personal life. 

This weekend:

Friday night, went on date with fiancee. 

Spent the time basically focusing on each other, no kids around.  Stayed out late, by my standards anyway, didn't get her back to her place until around 11 pm.

Saturday. Well I get up, go over there and we are planning to figure out what to buy to be able to get up high enough to finish the trim in the stairwell.  We are talking about some intimate things outside - Val and I that is - when we hear a bunch of screaming.  Upon further observation, the riding lawnmower that Jacob was operating shot a piece of wood through the front door window.  Trashed door anyway, needed to be replaced long ago.  That was added to the list.  We go out with everyone in the 15 passenger van, do all kinds of running around and get back.  

I start on the door project, some kids in tow - not by request some of these kids just follow me around like a magnet to steel.  Josiah returns home in the pickup with his motorcycle - his dad fixed it for him.  So I'm standing there at the front door doing the work to install a new door. He get the dirt bike off the truck, gets on it and goes to fire it up. Whoa, pardner!  You ain't goin' NOWHERE on that thing without a helmet!!  He gives me this look, I don't care, you are NOT riding that thing without a helmet on, period, end of story.  It isn't "gay" to wear a helmet, especially dirt bikes.  

So he gets off, goes looking for it, comes storming back. All the kids had congregated around it by now and he starts barking orders to for everyone to find his helmet, yelling at the kids for why they lost it? In reality, HE probably lost the damned thing but that is his attitude.  So he had just refused Jacob to EVER ride it and I'm looking at Jacob, you are going to help him find his helmet after he just told you that?  No way! I ain't helping you find s***, find your own freaking helmet!  Nathanael (I call him Nathan, he wants me to call him Nate) says the same thing.  Josiah: Well YOU lost it dumbass, now you find it!  No!  I didn't take your helmet! I didn't touch it, I don't know where it's at!

Josiah says FIND IT NOW! and goes storming off to look somewhere else.  Val is upstairs sleeping, I didn't feel the need to say anything at that point, just see how this is going to play out. Well I should have paid more attention, cause' I had no idea what was going to happen next and if I did I would have physically inserted myself in the middle of it.  I was busy installing that door and I needed to get it done, you can't just have an open space for a front door!

Josiah comes back - he's 75 feet off maybe and yells at Nathanael: why aren't you looking for my helmet?!!!!  I didn't touch your helmet and I am not going to help you!  Josiah is 16 years old, Nathan is 13 and the size difference between the 2 boys is substantial. Again, I'm listening to this, not looking.  I could see everything if I wanted to, it was right in front of me but I tend to get tunnel vision on a project,especially if there is a timeline that it needs to be done by.  The next thing I hear is running and I look up in time to see Josiah running full tilt Nathan, kicks the bike, violently shoves the bike over on it's side, Nathan lands on his elbow on concrete curbing and asphalt at the head and starts screaming in pain.

I got - pissed, putting it mildly - instantly.  But I said nothing to him, just gave him a glare and went up and got Val up.

Josiah was coming off a 2 week ban from seeing his girlfriend.  Meaning today/Sunday, he was to go see her at her parent's house.  He realized his stupidity from a selfish standpoint - not of gee, look what I just did to my little brother, I'm so sorry - and apologized a very lame apology the did not fly with me, but I have no say in this matter at this point.

Whatever.  I just say whatever when there is no real answers.  You can discipline a kid but this is a kid that has been brought up - WRONG - just sees things through such tainted eyes.

Anyway, that scene flying through my head tainted my view of Josiah.  It was a violent act enacted out of pure rage and I don't accept it as anything normal.

After that, finish the door, hang out and then came back to my place with 3 of them - Josiah NOT included - and hung out here.  Sunday, off to church, Josiah in a pissy mood because he was not going to be allowed to go over there until 2 pm.  His pissiness worsening by the minute, I have little respect for him at this point.  He's just a selfish, self-centered, stuck-up, arrogant kid that needs the real dose of reality that life gives and I know that isn't going to happen until he's out on his own and reality kicks him square in the face.

Ummm, no, after that we all went in the big van and took him over there and then off to Petco to get some fish. We took dead fish back - they have a 90 day guarantee - with receipt - got new fish and also dropped off the girl that was staying there last night.

Anyway, weekend over. There was more but that was the drama stuff, always drama over there of some sort.

G'nite.

ben

Up to a town called Vivian today.
Got to the address to deliver and the guy tells me to follow him, we are taking the material to a jobsite.  Okay....
Paved road, another paved road and then a "primitive"paved road with no speed limits or signs of any kind.  Down that for 10 miles and then a turn into a very narrow road with tall pines down both sides.
Through a gate, up this road and it gets wider.  A few miles of this and the next thing I know? I am in trucking hell.

The old road ends the new road starts and whoever built the thing, obviously did not intend tractor trailer rigs to be driving down it as I am just barely making the turns without hitting trees but definitely taking out brush. It gets worse and worse and worse until finally we get to this sharp turn.  They had cleared out an area to be able to swing wide. Well I didn't swing wide enough - I didn't want to drive the truck over all those bushes and junk and ended up with the trailer sliding up against a pine tree, which is where I stopped, backed up and this man comes running up.

Swing it wider!  Yeah right dude.  I'll guide you!  Okay.  I do NOT like driving trucks through junk like that and I could only imagine what might await me down the road.  Was this going to get WORSE?  I swung as wide as I could without hitting trees and when I say that, I mean watching the truck mirror miss tree trunks by inches to make this turn and even then, the trailer wheels were probably an inch from that truck I had gotten stuck at the first time.

Half a mile down the road and that was that.  An abrupt turn into a very narrow portion with trees butting up directly against the roadway, NO way that truck was making that left hand turn.  Guy jumps out again. Can't make it? No!!!  I am not even going to try!  I can turn right and do pull-ups until the trailer is aligned with the road and back it down there, how far is it? Well it's not too terribly far....was the reply. In a pig's eye.  It took ten minutes worth of pull ups to get the truck positioned because there was not much room going right, either.  The road going backward?  Over a narrow bridge, and then the "road" twists and turns - around trees!  This guy is like well they are going to be bringing in 53 foot spans in here!

GOOD LUCK!!!  NO WAY is a 53 foot trailer going to make it in here, I BARELY made in a 48 footer!  Okay, it's possible.  You slide the trailer tandems forward giving you a sharper turning radius.  But then you have a wide swing in the back and probably be smacking the trailer up against trees anyway.  I just looked at the guy and said: MOST drivers will NOT want to drive their trucks in here!

What was at the end of this newly built road replete with new bridge? A house being built. And not just any house.  A 20,000 square foot house in the middle of the forest out in the middle of nowhere! I dunno who is building that house, ie: who is paying for it, but they are obviously loaded.  I don't care WHERE you built a 20,000 square foot house, it's going to cost you a fortune!  And then having to built a road AND a bridge to get to it!  Not to mention bringing in electricity and presumably a well for water.  It wouldn't surprise me if a heli-pad was built in there as well.  Someone that rich would have the wherewithal to also have a helicopter to fly them around wherever.

I can only guess why a person that rich would want to build a house that large in such isolation: A famous person perhaps?  Wanting a place of seclusion?  You definitely would NOT just happen on a place like that! Maybe a hunter.

That was my excitement - for the week probably.  I got back to the yard and saw the 10 wheeler sitting there with a jug of DEF (Diesel Exhaust Fluid) next to it. Why don't you just take the thing to the truckstop to fill it up?  Oh it ain't gettin' filled up, Ben. Huh?  We're draining the DEF out of the tank on the truck.  Well why would you want to do that?  No clue.  Ummm, cause' Terrance backed over the strapping machine and tore a hole in the DEF tank, that's why!

What?  This guy has sat there and talked trash about everyone else and just the other day saying how another driver was always tearing up things.  So Terrance comes up and starts talking about whatever and I'm like, you tell me about Eugene and how HE tears things up and now in just a weeks' time you tear down a chain link fence and now run over the machine AND tear out the DEF tank?  There's at least a thousand dollars worth of damage there just to that tank.  The banding machine around $300 and around a grand's worth of damage to the chain link fence.

I'm guessing that guy's days being employed there are numbered. Too much complaining, too much idle time, sits around on the forklift talking to whoever on the phone, complains about everyone else, takes to long to make deliveries and doesn't much care about anything including safety and how he secures his loads onto the trucks.

Well whatever.  It's my bedtime and I'm outta here!

ben

Pretty strange stuff.
Just got done meeting with m'lady's 19 year old daughter.
The daughter was over at her house babysitting one day last week and I showed up to take almost all of them to the pet store to get some more fish for their fish tank. Apparently she didn't know I was coming and came out of the house talking in loud tones and apparently asking me what was going on here? .....she was talking to me while staring at the ground which is why I say apparently ......... her tones were haughty with a tinge of arrogance so I did not reply to her, instead the kids all gave her a hard time because they had already told her I was coming.

Later on that evening I wrote her an FB message: What is the problem here? .....etc etc etc.  Just wanting to know why she takes such a stance with me.  I don't know her, she doesn't know me, we have hardly ever talked, she doesn't live at home, I have never said anything unkind to her, what's the deal? She wrote back that she didn't like the way I was talking to her and this and that and that the conversation was over.  I said fine and that was that.

I was not going to contact her again and I didn't. Instead, the next day she said she felt we should talk in person and that we should meet in person to discuss. ??? Okay, I'm game.  So met we did, not an hour ago at a Starbucks.

Chilling. Hurt, anger and possibly hate in there.  I just sat down at the table and said well I spoke my peace the other day.  She replied well why did yo want to meet? Umm, sorry, I didn't ask for this meeting, you did.  Well I don't understand why you want to be buddy buddy with me?  I don't accept this situation with mom, I just don';t accept it (referring to our relationship). I never said I want to be buddy buddy with you.  Every time you come over to her house you completely ignore me, treat me as if I don't exist.  I have no idea why.  What is the issue here?  Well I don't want to be buddy buddy with you, she replies again.  When have acted in such a manner?

She just couldn't say anything nice.  She is full of anger  She is bitter towards her parents. It is obvious that I represent something to her that is totally unwelcome.  That's fine, she doesn't have to accept me she doesn't even have to talk to me, I just wanted to know if I had done something to offend her, because, as I said to her, I have said hi to her every time she comes over there and she completely, totally ignores me.

She sat there at that table tearing apart a piece of paper, twirling up the pieces and dropping them on the table.  The only times she looked at me was to tell me she basically wants nothing to do with me.  That's fine, she could have told me that on that FB message instead of meeting in person to tell me off.  Though she said she didn't basically want anything to do with me, at the same time she wasn't getting up and leaving.  I talked a little more trying to ascertain as to whether there was anything else she wanted to talk about - I sensed there was but if so, she wasn't letting it out.  I continued to try to talk but she wasn't responding at all.  It was so uncomfortable.  I finally just said well, if there isn't anything else to discuss, I am going to leave.  She said fine and that was that.

As I said, the coldness in her eyes was chilling. Seriously. Oh well. I just could have done without that meeting in person. I had thought that if she wanted to meet, perhaps she wanted to have something good come out of this, otherwise, what is the point of meeting?  So yes, I was taken aback to find out she had nothing nice to say to me and further that she wants nothing to do with me. Do you meet to what amounts to a total stranger to have them tell you that?

Long day at work. I was very tired this morning, didn't sleep well last night and I paid for it.  After my only stop was done, I got back to the yard and was informed there was a run to Springhill. "It's not that much".  I'm looking at several tickets worth of product and thinking, this is a LOT of material, it's going to take a while to pull all of this.  It was freaking HOT out there today!  I mean, it was bad.  I spent the entire afternoon out in the heat pulling that order, it became obvious that driving 90 miles one way and getting back at any decent hour was not going to happen.

I'm totally exhausted.

G'nite.

ben