Thursday, September 9, 2010

Thursday

Anonymous said...

Thursday

Crazy that it's Thursday already.

I have 2 people now intereted in the room. Unfortunately, their intended move-in date if they decided they like the place wouldn't be til' the first.



I'm sorta getting tired of people moving out at odd times during the month and am thinking about changing my move-out policy to reflect state law concerning the matter. My policy is FAR more lenient, hence no laws broken. I always just say "give me at least a week's advance notice", I'm considering saying something like move out at the end of any given month, month paid up.



Simply put, it is almost always easier to find people near the 1st of any next, given month than it is during the middle of it. Even simpler put - life would be so much easier if I didn't have to have tenants, period.



The Terrified Turtles are still - terrified. Lol. They crash into the water as soon as they see me, though the other day, one of them sat there staring at me for quite a while before he dived into the water.



There is a pond meeting (I think, gotta recheck) on Saturday. The meetings are neither interesting nor boring,I just go there for the free plants and if anyone brings some fish. I could use a serious dose of motivation in the digging department - though - I can't really do anything right now as the tire on the wheelbarrow is flat - again and this time I am not going to fix it. I will see if I can find a new tire, if not, I will have to get another wheelbarrow. I think cheap wheelbarrows aren't much more expensive, the point being, than a new tire. Ooops, I just remembered that I can probably stick a $5 inner tube in it and it will work fine. Well, I might just do that instead.



It's not as if I'm flowing with money here.



Wow. I haven't seen pirate news in a while. Way cool - U.S. marines board a ship and take control back from the pirates, subduing them without firing a single shot! Way to go, U.S. Marines!!!



Well, I was going to go into Obama, the Obamacare debacle, and the fact that now they are finally saying that this healthcare bill is NOT going to reduce costs as Obama (lied) declared, it is going to cause expenses to rise. Well no duhhhh. I mean, come on. When the government gets involved with ANYTHING, expect costs to triple. I'm still holding out hope Obamacare can be brought down, I'm not holding my breath but I still have some hope for it.



As for today, work day almost here, FINALLY something to do. Though, yesterday morning, I was up in far North Phoenix in the middle of the desert with a semi. When I turned down the "street" where they wanted me to deliver the stuff, I hesitated. It wasn't a street, more like a very narrow driveway winding around to ...... no idea. When I did turn in and got back in there, I was pretty much SOL'ed. It was going to be a LOT of back around a lot of turns. There was hardly room to unload the truck.



Well, when it finally was finished being unloaded, the non-english-speaking Hispanic worker of whom I had to use my now-dulled Spanish skills to understand what he wanted said he was going to have them build me a road, just give them a couple of minutes. ????



Sure enough, a loader and his backhoe went to work turning a huge mountain of dirt into a road that went way up and came back down again. The soil, however, was not compacted and I hesitated again about driving the rig over that stuff, but the alternative was about 1,000 feet of backing, so I went for it. Nice ride, got over it, to the end where they had rocks down to clean your tires - and the truck got stuck in the rocks. I had to sit there for half an hour digging out rocks.



But I did get it out : ) A nice old lady who saw my plight came out with a shovel. The house? Well in "good" times probably a million dollar home : )



G'day.



ben

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Various Things

My computer is slowly dying.  I was trying to remember exactly when we got this thing - it's either 11 or 12 years old.  It has had constant, daily use for all of that time.  I have done several hardware upgrades to it.  The original cd's with the drivers and such that came with it were stolen several years ago now and everytime I have to reinstall windows, I have to go to Dell's site, find the drivers and reinstall them.

But it is getting harder.  There are several issues with Dell's drivers and Microsoft in attempting to reinstall the drivers.  I have heard I can ask Dell to send me the original drivers on CD's and I may just try that, but, it is so old I don't wonder if they'll tell me to - go blow.

I have had recurrent problems on this machine today to the point I reformatted the hard drive and reinstall Windows XP AGAIN, after just having had done that a few days ago.

I simply don't have the money to go buy a new computer.  My patience is wearing very thin with this one. 

No idea, really, what to do. 

The non-paying tenant of whom I left a hand written notice under her door this morning and came home armed with an official 5-day notice after work today - FINALLY left me money on my computer desk.  She actually got caught up to this week.  I was quite amazed.  I was also quite irritated this morning after coming out of my bedroom, seeing that she finally returned (her bedroom light was on) and had not left me anything.  At work this morning, I was consumed by it - get rid of her.  

Good thing - I have several payments either due or coming up that I cannot afford without having tenants paying me, plus the Marine moving out by the weekend and trying to get another tenant in here, it gets to be a bit much.  In fact, it gets to be totally intolerable.  Yet, this week, the trailer tenants should be handing me a month's rent and I get paid.  On Monday - well probably Tuesday - the other female tenant should be giving me the first half of this month's rent.  Yes, I am on her time concerning that, but as long as I get it every 2 weeks I don't care. 

Umm, so - my biggest challenge right now is to get another tenant in here, even though the room isn't empty. 

As for the computer - well - I don't know of any way to get one excepting to make payments on one, a thing I am very reluctant to get myself into right now. 

Sometimes I just sit here and wonder how it is that life is going the way it is.  Other times I sit here and think life is grand.  I dunno where I am at right now, but it is neither of those things and probably below the former.  I get tired of fighting with the issues of life sometimes.  I just mean with other people and their lack of respect or sense of responsibility to take care of things that are theirs to deal with.  There are "small" irritants around here as well that add up.  Like one particular person that uses enough toilet paper in one day for 8 people.  Seriously - how often do you see a 1,000 sheet roll of toilet paper just disappear in one day's time?  Took a while to figure out who was doing that one..............

I think I'll shut my mouth and go to bed.

G'nite.

ben

Wednesday

Wednesday




I woke up last night to go to the bathroom and heard the washing machine running at 2:00 am. The really-behind-in-rent woman returned. I had hoped that she would have left some money out as she "normally" does, she did not. I left her a rather blunt notice this morning: Pay up or vacate the premises, immediately.



I am tending to get a bit crankier and short with people whose last priority is having a roof over there head, as evidenced by their lack of paying any rent and yet going out of town with friends or boyfriends/whatever all over the place. I was going to give her the 5-day notice yesterday, but my bad, I forgot to take it home with me from work.



That WON'T be happening today. I no longer tolerate people just dragging it out for over a month or even longer while I sit there and watch them consume electricity, water and use of my room for - nothing.



My 2 cents on border security. If WHATEVER administration that is in control wanted to, the border could be secure. That's just the plain fact of it. Misses Mouth Napolitano says the border cannot "ever be completely sealed" - which means to me from what I am reading and hearing, if you can't seal it, why bother at all?



The fact of the matter is, if we dumped enough personnel down there, the tide of people coming in would be dramatically reduced. I don't see other nations having NEAR the problem we are having with it because many line their borders with military or whatever means they use to keep people OUT of their country that don't belong there.

But, then again, some of those countries, who WANTS to go there, anyway? I would FAR rather see a huge dumping of Border Patrol agents and Guard personnel down on the borders than having us stay in Afghanistan for - ever? I'll say it again: Let's get the BLEEP..... OUT....of Afghanistan. I FULLY support our troops over there, in fact, I go to the other end of the scale here, what is the point of them dying on a daily basis in this war for a bunch of people who don't WANT to change? They have lived like that over there for centuries - LET THEM STAY THAT WAY, it's their choice!



Enough. My mind is pretty full right now with this tenant that is spending her money on everything BUT rent. That just makes me mad. I have to get myself calmed down before I go home from work today, cause' if I don't, I'll probably let that person have a piece of my mind and that, probably, will be rather ugly, indeed.



I just don't get people who will pay their phone bill or go out on the town or whatever and attempt to skip paying the rent? Do you get it? I've seen enough of these people of which I have VERY little patience.



Well, work day approaches and I need a different mind-frame going here, so I'm ending this one.



G'day.



ben

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Tuesday

Face it, Obama, you've HAD your chance - more than once - and you blew it - like a trillion dollars worth of blown. He's in the news again wanting to do this, that and the other thing. It's SOLELY a political move. If the polls are any good indicator, Obama's hands are going to be TIED in November and this outrageous spending spree will, hopefully, be put to a STOP.




My new pond plants. Well, I have no idea what most of them are called. I called them free when I picked them up, and sure enough, that was their new names. Seriously, though, I got 5 different varieties of plants plus I got 2 water lillies. Lillies are usually expensive, these are very small but give them time and they will grow in to mammoths.



I was busy out there planting yesterday plus starting the rather arudous process of going through every drawer and cabinet in the kitchen, cleaning out with bleach and putting roach prufe along the walls and crevices and things. I will try to get rid of these things myself just because I don't happen to have $150 sitting around for yet another exterminator routine.



But, rest assured, I will find that money somewhere and I WILL pay if I can't get rid of them with the roach prufe - I simply do NOT co-habitate with cockroaches. I will spend the next several days going through bathrooms, finishing the kitchen, pulling switch and electrical covers over the wall and dumping that stuff in there. I did get rid of an infestation once with this stuff - took about 3 weeks.


Let's face facts: a non-paying tenant and one moving out is going to cause me some serious financial dilemnas in the next coming days and I have no choice but to cut back on anything that I don't absolutely have to have.



The non paying woman GOT her money and disappeared. If I don't have money in hand today from her, she's getting the 5-day notice and I will tell her to her face to get her stuff and get out of my house. She has now gone on 2 vacations, she is not looking for a job that I can see, she gets unemployment but I am suspicious that she is using meth.



I have had confirmation of meth use from a while back from my next door neighbor - the used car dude - that called me out of the blue and declared that he is returning in a couple of weeks and is that woman still there? He likes her - he likes anything that moves that is female and human, to be more precise.



So, I have a CL ad running and will run it at the current rate for a couple of more days, if no bites then I will reduce it by about $30 and see if that gets any takers.



I HATE being interrupted in the morning before work. On Fridays it's the DC truck, on Tuesdays (today) it's the Cintas truck. The Cintas dude is cool, no doubt, but I am focused on morning rituals at this time of day.



Anyway, there is nothing, again, to do in the truck routing system. Oh how I hate days when you have to invent things to do, and in the last month there has been a LOT of that. This is why I agree with the company reducing hours on hourly employees - staying around 7 hours when there's nothing to do is bad enough, 8? Well, I would definitely do it for the money, no doubting that.



So, life in the normal-for-me lane. I will say that I am quite happy that all of these kids are gone, out of my house and not eating my food, making messes and generally wasting electricity. My son and the oldest black kid are the only ones left - the black kid comes late at night to get on the internet, they don't have it. I don't care as long as he behaves, which he always does.



Work day approaches. OPs manager says he wants to go over with me about attempting to sell all this irrigation stuff on Craigslist. Only if he's going to give cut throat discounts will that stuff sell on Craigslist, dunno yet what he proposes, but the stuff is here, has BEEN here and almost the only people that have bought any of it are employees - me being one of them for my entire system at my house - at company cost.



G'day.



ben

Monday, September 6, 2010

Monday

Last day of the 3 day weekend.
Haven't done a heckuva lot, either.
I found an ad that must have been placed this morning on Craigslist: a person is thinning out their pond and is giving away free fish and plants starting at 10:00 am this morning.  Best part is, they don't live too far away - may 7 miles max.
I scour CL daily for this stuff - too many people either give the stuff away or sell it cheap for me to even think about paying premium prices.  Those 2 16 and 15 inch Koi I have in there, according to the market, are worth between $75 and $100 a piece. 
Well, anyway, I will be heading over there to show up - a bit early.
The way stuff like this works: people show up early and expect to get the best stuff regardless of what the start time says it is and then when people like me show up on-time, there is nothing or very little left.  I have run into this far too many times, I can play that game, too.

Speaking of ponds, I had to put the UV sterilizer on the other, smaller pond.  I only used the thing once, for about 4 or 5 days, on the larger pond - what - over 2 months ago?  The water has stayed clear ever since.  But, the smaller pond water was turning pea soup green.  Put it on there yesterday and it's almost totally cleared up now : )

I was reading an article about how many people in their alleged Golden years are hardly experiencing anything golden about it.  You've seen them, go into a Walmart and look at some of the greeters.  Every Walmart I walk into has at least several greeters/front end personnel that look to be in their 60's or even 70's.  The Feds are talking raising the retirement age or doing away with cost of living increases.
PURE BUNK.  I've been paying into that s*** for a long, long time now, I and a lot of other people who are working away are going to be VERY mad if it disappears, or if they think we should be what, 71 years old to retire?  LIFE IS ALMOST OVER OR IS OVER FOR SOME FOLKS BY THAT AGE!

I don't have any choice BUT to pay into that system, it is deducted from my paycheck whether I like it or not.  Well, I like it if it's going to be there when it's my turn, but my turn better not be at the age of 70.  That's outrageous!  If not, I would far rather see that money going into CD's or anything BUT government control of it.  It's just another case of Congress and a President that are all millioinaires or multi-millionaires that have NO grasp, whatsoever, of the reality it is for MUCH of the rest of us.  Make these decisions because it isn't going to affect them, whatsoever. 

I am fast coming to the conclusion that retirement is going to be impossible by working an hourly job to get there.  Unless I am a highly paid worker - which I am not - it's not going to happen.  I would either have to "come into the money", ie: inheritance, win it somehow or start my own business.  Inheritance isn't, actually, entirely out of the question, but I have no idea how much that is going to be and farnkly, to get it, a parent must die.  I am NOT looking forward to either of those days.  Win it?  HIGHLY unlikely.  People play the lottery twice a week in hopes of striking it rich.  Casinos?  Give me a break.  Some people win big at casinos, most people lose.  I win here and there at Blackjack, but I would hardly think that I could win a fortune doing it - unless - of course - I learned how to count cards.  It isn't illegal, but if a casino believes you are doing it, they will throw you out - permanently.  I have given thought to taking a course on it, but have done nothing about it. 

Business?  The only viable option.  It's the only option that, if you work your butt off, fate is with you and God blesses it, you might have a chance to come out swinging, get some money saved up and get out of this daily work grind for large corporations.  I have nothing against working for a large corporation, Iam working for a VERY large corporation right now, but I have no belief whatsoever that I will ever get into a position in that company where I will be making huge amounts of money.  SOME people are, definitely, in higher level management and those salesmen that are successful.  Working 7 hours a day, 5 days a week isn't going to get me there.  The upside to working for large corporations are the health benefits - but I wonder what's going to happen to even that when this Obamacare fiasco starts kicking in.  GET RID OF IT. 

What kind of business could I possibly start, however, that I would like doing and would make good money off of?  I have no clue.  But you can be rest assured that I am going to start looking into it.  I do wish my company would give me a chance to get into something different besides just driving trucks.  The inside salesmen locally are hammered with work putting out bids and trying to get new contracts - one of them I know of for sure is working 12 hours per day.  What I could do with an extra 25 hours per week of pay!! LIVE!!! Don't even need THAT much to help, giving me back a full 8 hour day would be a great start. 

The ops manager wants me to try and sell off the irrigation stuff that we are trying to get rid of.  I am going to dive into that like nobody's business.  If I have something to prove here, it's that I can be of more help to this company than just being a truck driver.  Obviously, truck drivers fill an important role in this society of ours - whether you want to believe that or not (just shut down the entire trucking industry for a full week and everyone would be begging us to get back to work!) - and you CAN make decent money at it, but, I am not there right now.  Not with the hours I am getting.  At the same time, the work load doesn't justify it - there is not enough orders coming in to even fill 7 hours on many days, much less 8.

Anyway, I'm reading Obama's new plan: SPEND MORE MONEY THAT WE DON'T HAVE!! How does that NOT surprise me?  His latest plan is to rebuild the nation's infrastructure.  Well that's just wonderful, honey, and how are we going to pay for it?  He has as plan: Officials said the White House would consider closing a number of special tax breaks for oil and gas companies to pay for the proposal.

BUNK again.  WE will end up paying for it.  I don't disagree that the nation's highways and bridges are in pathetic shape, but NOW is NOT the time to even think about spending that kind of money.  This is PURELY  a political move to try and save face for Democrats whose political careers are facing definitive extinction.  Utter fiscal stupidity.  WHEN will all this spend spend spend stop? Only when we vote out these idiots and get people in there that will stop the hemoraghing. 

Whatever.  I'll get off my little podium now.  I don't care what party you are with, what sense does it make to throw this kind of money out the door?  He has ALREADY done that and look where it got us: NOWHERE!

Ummm, well anyway.  Labor Day.  Last day of 3-day weekend.  It flew by, too, not like it seemed like an eternity.  105 for high today, then the rest of this week and hopefully for the rest of the year the temps are down to low 100's or high 90's.

I must be offa here - take a shower, get in the care and go get some free plants!

G'day.

ben

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Sunday

Quoted from a news source: "59 Days to Decide: Evidence Mounts That Dems Are Facing Midterm Wipeout ".
About time to see that kind of headline.  Obama continues to blame Bush for the mess we are in.  I haven't heard recently specifically naming Bush, instead he recites that these problems were caused by "the previous administration".  Sorry, Charlie, you've had your chance, you've spent trillions of dollars and where are we at now?  Potentially a double-dip recession, unemployment is rising, millions of people that are unemployed and can't find work, foreclosures still at all time high levels.

Obama is now rolling out a plan for the following descriptor: Under the new "short refinance" program, banks and other creditors that write down mortgages to less than the value of the property can essentially hand off the reduced loan to the government. The process involves refinancing borrowers into loans backed by the Federal Housing Administration.

I will be attempting to take advantage of that one.  Why not?  We are throwing money down a shoot to a huge, out-of-control wildfire at the bottom that is just burning up money as fast as it comes at it.  A reckless abandonment of any of the principles this country was founded on, the government is doing whatever it pleases and could care less what the majority of American public thinks about it.

They are digging their own political graves and they will be spat upon by those that are going to bury them.  I will be one.  Probably piss on it as well.  Okay, I was going to take it further, but you get the picture. 

I have had very few replies so far to my room rental ad.  The Marine is moving out in 5 days or less.  Dunno what to say about that.  Keep trying until I find someone.  I may have to bring my price down.  I did that with the Army reservist - brought it down $30 and that was enough for her.  But, I want to see if I can get my full price for it first.

Long break.  In fact, about 12 hours worth.  Got busy with other stuff and now?  My bedtime.

G'nite.

ben

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Saturday

It was time.
I have not done it in quite a long time.
I dreaded it, but, this morning the thing was running SO slow and NOTHING I did was doing anything for it.
I'm referring to my computer and further referring to reformatting the hard drive and reinstalling Windows XP (I'm not in the least bit interested in the newest version of Windows until I start hearing better things about it). 
The reason doing all of that is a pain?  Well think about all the software that you have on your computer and then think about reinstalling all of it.  IE-8; Adobe flash player; Avast; sound drivers; printer drivers; my video surveillance software, all KINDS of stuff.  Plus, you have to keep rebooting for half of this stuff.  It takes hours, literally.  You forget half the software you have installed on your computer - until you run into something that you need and then there you are, installing yet more software or drivers.

I literally hate the process, but - in the end - it IS worth the effort.  My computer is running MUCH faster than it has in a long time.  How long it runs like that is up in the air, but this time, I created a restore point as soon as I got it up and running before any malware or whatever could distort the registry. 

There IS software out there available via internet that tweaks and tunes your registry and fixes whatever is broken - but it isn't free.  I'm not really looking for more payments right now, I am already hurting financially enough as it is. 

Some elements of my computer that have not worked correctly for quite a while have been restored as well.  I knew reinstalling Windows would fix everything, I also know from ample experience how much of a pain it is to do all of that.  Perhaps, however, having revisited this issue yet again, I will remember how much more fun it is to surf the net with a machine that is actually working correct and perhaps I will reinstall Windows a bit more often. 

It's going to be another hot day outside and I have absolutely no motivation whatsoever to do anything.  Well I have to go to the store and get the power card reloaded with some money for electricity.  I am also going to buy some of those low-fat,low sodium, low-calorie frozen dinners.  I like some of those things, it's a quick, easy meal and it is good for a diet.  Well, it's good for my diet, anyway.  I was down to 193-1/2 pounds yesterday, the lowest I have seen it in ages.  If I am making any progress at all, even small amounts, I am good with it.  It means whatever I am doing is working.  I don't have to lose it all in 2 weeks, I just have to have the peace of mind that it IS going down.

The owner of the pest control company came yesterday - he is going to ALL of his accounts, over time of course, as he let go 2 of his service personnel who were not doing the job very well.  Well, take that back, the one that has come over here has been to some houses and hasn't done the job AT ALL.  Some neighbors apparently caught him in the "act" of just walking around a house and then leaving while claiming he had done the work.  He was here last time - whatever he did, he almost killed my ornamental pear tree out front, in fact I am still not sure if it's going to survive, killed half the leaves on one of my 7-1/2 foot tall ficus trees and did some lessor damage to other plants.

I showed this guy all of that which is when he started explaining what was going on.  I explained that after he left last time, NONE of the ants were dead.  So, go 2 months without them procreating and yes, there were literally thousands of them on my property - coming from anthills from one of the properties behind me.  We came inside and I told him about the cockroach problem.  He gave me the bad news: $150 to get rid of them.  A 2-treatment process, but it is guaranteed. 

He then saw my can of Roach-prufe and suggested before I pay him that much money that I go through the entire kitchen, take everything out of all the cabinets and drawers, take the drawers out, clean it all with bleach and apply that stuff all over.  Do that in the bathrooms as well.  I have had some pretty good luck with that stuff in the past, and frankly, I don't have an extra $150 laying around - though I wish I did because I will pay whatever I have to get rid of the friggin' things.  He declared that the problem in my house wasn't that bad - yet.  Yes, well I don't want them in here AT ALL.  So, I am going to go through the extremely arduous process of pulling everything out, cleaning it and applying the roach prufe this weekend and see if that helps. 

He also suggested taking off all the switch and electrical outlet covers and putting some of the stuff in all of those, too.  Yes, folks, this isn't going to be any fun at all.  It will, however, be INSIDE the house, it needs to be done and it is going to be very hot today and tomorrow.  So - yes - get a couple of beers, put on my work hat and get started on it.  But not right now - I HAVE to go to the store and get power on the card.  There is like 6 bucks left on there, about enough for half a day on a hot summer's day if it doesn't get TOO hot. 

Okay, my new Plecostomus (fish) have devoured a large portion of the algae that was growing in the larger pond.  There are 5 of them, they are large and apparently they were hungry.  The Koi - all 4 of them - are all apparently doing well and the goldfish in both ponds are still alive and kicking.  All the smaller fish that I got for free from the pond being shut down?  Well, yesterday I was watching "fry" they call them - new baby fishies - were all over the place in the large pond.  I was a bit surprised any of them were left, some of those Koi will devour those things for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Oh, and strike one up for experience: dogs like Koi pellets.  I left out the bag and it was opened.  I had NO idea that dogs would eat that stuff, but when I came home, most of the bag had been devoured.  Fortunately I had filled up 2 large containers with the stuff so it wasn't a total loss, about a half the bag was lost.

Turtles?  Are finally coming out of the water.  They get up on the block I set in there for them - but - as soon as they see me they dive into that water. At least they are coming out of it now and I just started today to leave some food for them up on that block.  I won't put it in the water because I don't want the water getting polluted by having food in there that might not be getting eaten.  I'll go back out in a while and see if they have eaten any of it. 

Oh, and the little fishies!  They are the funnest to watch of all of them.  They are just baby fish - the current I have going with 2 pumps in that pond is so strong that they really have to fight against it to get up to the top and get some of the fish flakes I put in there for them.  I take the giant flakes, crush them in my hand, put them in there and watch them go to town.  They have several places where they can hide from the fish that are hundreds of times larger than them and will probably eat them if they can.

I am watching an episode of "I Shouldn't Be Alive".  The family featured in this one is on a boat in some river in Zambabwe.  A Rhino has decided to attack the boat and knocked everyone out.  The mother is drowning, apparently - as they state "she doesn't know how to swim".

And again, I ask: how do you get into adulthood without having had learned how to swim?  To me this is unfathomable.  I was a sea otter when I was a kid - oceans; lakes; swimming pools; rivers; streams; I didn't care what kind of body of water it was, I was in it.  Even yucky green water I would jump right in.  Canal water?  Didn't care, let's go!!!  In my teen years, I continued with that excepting I got VERY lean - 4.9% body fat - I knew how to swim but the leaner you are, the less buouancy you have.  You simply drop like a rock in water.  Still, I could swim the width of a lake that was at least 1,000 feet wide.  Yes, I would be tired by the time I got to the other side, but the challenge of it was too great to pass up. 

Some of these shows they come up with these days.......craziness.  Another one that has some pretty crazy stuff in it is "I Survived". 

Long delay and done with this.

G'day.

ben

Friday, September 3, 2010

Resolution

First off, I freely admit I was out-of-control angry 2 days ago with the situation at work (which is detailed in previous entries, so no need to go into all of that here). 

I have had an anger problem all of my life - to one degree or another. 

Anger has gotten me into a lot of problems that, in hindsight, would have easily been averted if I would have just let it sit for a few hours/days/however long it takes to cool down and get back into rational thought.

We all have buttons, I'm sure of that.  When someone finds mine, it's not a pretty sight.  I am not making excuses for anything.  I am, instead, capable of admitting my weaknesses and when I feel berated, humiliated, talked down to - to some degree authoritarian issues - I can say that there are occasions where I have not reacted well, at all.  In fact, if I told some of the stories from my distant past, people that know me now simply would not believe me.  

One thing I have pounded into my brain after my reaction was FAR worse than the offense that created it is: don't take action.  You wanna be mad, great, sit there and stew in it for as long as it takes to get over it, but keep your damned mouth shut (me, talking to myself).  If it is REALLY bad, don't do ANYTHING for several days.  Just wait.  Get your peace back.  Pray, seek God, think where this is going to go if you really follow through what your emotions are attempting to sway you into doing.

I learned that lesson - maybe not THAT long ago, but certainly years ago.  In this case, I did nothing.  Well, except when my manager called me that day after hearing the Ops manager's wife telling him what is going on with me - she is not a clueless blonde - she IS blonde but very intelligent and sensitive.  My manager wanted to express to me that HE had NOTHING to do with this.  Okay, I had no problem with him anyway.  He has enough on his plate with a divorce that is causing him to lose weight to - bad - proportions.  Meaning he isn't eating and the situation is messing with his head. 

So, 2 days pass.  I went through the company's website and I found the section on ethics and even specific types of statements that the encourage you to report.  My company has keystroke recognition - they can see whatever you have typed, including IM"s, everything that you wrote.  I thought about this man's personal life - his wife, just married last year I think it was, their newborn baby.  I thought about filing a formal complaint with headquarters.  I'm sure that with the content of the IM, he would get into trouble.  I then thought about all the shit I have done in my life span - transgressions and making life difficult for people (even IF I thought it deserved) and the foulness I did in my teenaged years that, again, most people won't even believe the half, or even fourth of it. 

What do Christians do? Forgive.  Try to, oh so ever-loving hard to do in some cases, but I am still a fan of the idea a person should ASK for forgiveness to GET it.  I believe that is a principle that is overlooked by many.  The Bible talks about ASKING for forgiveness, not assuming that you must get it "because you are Christian" and if you don't, you must, therefore, NOT be a Christian.  BUNK.  I will not be a doormat anymore in my life, determined that some - maybe 10 years ago, maybe a little less.  I could go into all of it - but it would take days to write and no-one would bother to read all of it and I don't really want to anyway. 

Okay.  Well, the Ops manager's wife was at our branch again today.  She likes to work at our branch because it is close to her house and the -yes - baby.  She went to get lunch.  She left HER computer up and open.  Yup, I could have gotten on there and gotten all kinds of very sensitive information regarding the company - but at the branch I am at, there is a level of trust, I hope anyway.  SHOULD she do that?  In corporate terms, no, no-one SHOULD do that.  It's not, however, like she left her computer at a Starbuck's with an aircard inserted and all the company's info exposed for the world to see. 

She came back and I "informed" her that I had made IM"s off of her computer.  Yes, I said it jokingly and it was taken as such.  She then told me about a conversation she had with her husband, the he understands that I don't like such, etc etc etc.  I replied:  well, it really wouldn't have been a problem until we got to the gay stuff.  ???? she replies.  I told her what he was telling the employee.

Fast forward.  I'm driving home and the phone rings.  I recognize the first three digits as a work number.  Ben speaking.  It was the Ops manager.  It was an apology and it didn't just sound like it was genuine, I felt it too.  It was a good conversation.  I won't go into all of that - just that it ended well. 

I don't really feel like writing anything else tonight - lots going on but I am tired, didn't sleep well last night and I must get this internet stuff over with.

ben

Friday

Friday.


Thursday's post eliminated - not by me, but by sending the thing into cyberspace.  It's floating around out there, somewhere, I suppose, but getting it back?  Impossible (and not a great loss, either).

My mind's in a lull right now - rough sleep last night, kept waking up for whatever reason. Plus I have been mulling over what to do about this situation with the ops manager, so far I have just sat on it. Never wise to make rush decisions especially after getting upset to that degree.



So far only one reply to my ad for the room. But then again, it isn't available until the 11th, which is still 8 days away. It is paid up until the 11th and I would love to see a seamless transaction in the payment department. It doesn't normally work out that way, but one can wish.



No, I will have to clean the carpet in there and paint whatever will have to be painted. I haven't really been in there since the Marine moved in there so, I have no idea the condition of the room. In fact, I'm pretty sure the carpet needs to be replaced in that room, but - no funds to cover that right now.



3 day weekend en-queue. Labor Day on Monday. Just going to take it easy - the temps are still high: 111 today, 108 tomorrow and 107 Sunday. After that, the temps come down to low 100's or high 90's for the next 2 weeks - I'll take that anyday over this sweltering heat junk. It's going to be hot enough today that the National Weather Service has issued yet another Excessive Heat Warning, as they like to name it........wonderful.



"Our military and people will deal a merciless blow if warmongers stage reckless provocation," North Korea's government-run website, Uriminzokkiri, said in a commentary Friday.



Lol. That's North Korea pulling out the rhetoric machine again as U.S. and South Korean troops get ready to stage yet another set of anti-submarine excercises apparently designed to "deter" North Korea from doing anything such as blowing up another sub as they allegedly did so earlier this year. I don't wonder if one of these times, NK will actually do something.



I hope not, really, but still........



Well, I have no time left even if there is nothing to do in the truck routing system for today. At work, I'm referring to.....



G'day.



ben

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

MAD

That's all I can say about my state of mind right now, I am FREAKING MAD.  I have been in that state all day long and I don't know that going to bed will and a "good night's sleep" will do anything but make it worse. 
I WON'T SLEEP, that's the point. 

What am I referring to?

Regular readers might find this unbelievable, but this has nothing to do with tenants, kids, dogs or even Herons. 

I am referring to WORK. 

Here's the story.  I go to work early every morning.  I do this that and the other thing before signing into the computer network.  I pull up my work email account and put on my communicator - it's a system to communicate with other associates in the network via instant messaging - through work only. 

I leave my up when I'm gone.  Our store is run by fully 2 people: the manager and me.  I don't have to worry about 50 or 100 people walking by an unattended computer and accessing personal information. It simply doesn't happen.  If I were at the main branch, I would NEVER leave my account open.  And let's clarify this here: I don't leave all that stuff up on the computer screen, it is accessible if you click on my email account of communicator (instant messaging).

Okay.  I am driving around doing the parameters of my job - delivering and picking up stuff (well, a lot of other things, but my job description is listed as a truck driver). I end up at our main branch downtown.  I have a load of stuff I brought from our branch to transfer to them - mainly 2,000 feet of sewer pipe that they need to fill orders.

I am sitting at a desk in the warehouse doing paperwork - always a lot of paperwork - when a guy comes out of the main store, looking at me, says to the people behind the dual, swinging doors: "He's right here!".  He walks off laughing, muttering comments under his breath.  What the bleep is THIS about?  I get up and walk in there.  "What's going on?" 

One of the counter guys says he has an instant message, FROM ME, that is going on RIGHT NOW.  The message is from "me" asking this guy if he wants to hang out this weekend and have some drinks.  Alarms.  I don't engage in this kind of childish behavior at work, I am 46 years old and this kind of shit is pure bullshit. I like to have fun in life, a person abusing their position in this capacity is total BULLSHIT.  I look at the IM and read everything.  I instantly came to the conclusion, in my mind, who was doing this.  This counter guy thought it was my manager, I thought differently. 

This person that started this IM continues on and on.  Do you want to hang out?.....followed by, "I like you".......followed by........."I like you alot".  The intonation is that I am going to have this guy over for drinks and then it's going to be GAY SHIT SEX.  FUCK A GUY UP THE ASS.

I'm sorry to the Christian readership here, I really am, but I am PISSED OFF.  I looked at this guy and wondered if he really thought it was me contacting him before I showed up and and refuted, without know it by mere act of BEING there, that it WAS NOT ME. 

This man was at the computer I use at work writing this stuff from my communicator/instant messenger.  The message shows that it is me, not him, writing the content of that material. 

Yes, I knew who wrote it because I heard he had done such things in the past.  However, those things did not include sexual BULLSHIT.  He is allegedly trying to teach the person a lesson that you should not leave your account open when not present at the computer.  All fine and dandy in a place that has dozens of emplooyees and even more contractors, vendors and people from other divisions walking in and out of there.  BS when it's a 2-man crew and MOST of the sales generated from the store are from the deliveries I make in the semi. 

Who is this person?  The Operations Manager.  Do you see anything such as abuse of power going on here?  The use of your position to do whatever you want because of the veritable lack of any kind of responsibility to be had on his part for saying WHATEVER he pleases?  Further, with the gay shit, SEXUAL HARRASMENT.  Can anyone say LAWSUIT?  I'm NOT gay, but if the guy is going to paint me that and there are several witnesses to it, why the bleep should I take another iota's minute's worth of this SHIT that I have endured in my life span because of some IDIOT that thinks they can do what they want, when they want to?  Ohhh, yes, the economy. SCREW the economy, I determined long ago, after being ABUSED by management at various companies, that I would NOT put up with it even if it mean LEAVING THE FREAKING COMPANY or risk being FIRED. 

The man could have simply approached me and said that the company does not want you to leave your account open like that - though I have NEVER read any such thing on any of the REAMS of company documents I have seen.  It MAY be there somewhere, I don't know.  NO, he has to start SHIT with me by IMPERSONATING me, that's what it is, impersonation.  I am going to look into labor laws and such, there is NO WAY I am going to just tolerate this stuff.  Yes, I am mad. I'm not just upset, I AM MAD.  I HATE being treated this way by ANY management.  My company does not stand ethical corruption and to me, this is ALL about ethics and morals. 

Ahhh, BenB taking a deep breath.  There is, actually, more to this story but I cannot go into it right now.  I can feel my innards in the way that only anger brings up.  It is not good for me and I would like to actually sleep tonight.  I must stop now. 

Wednesday

Wednesday




Came home yesterday from work to find things "out of place". Couldn't quite put my finger on it, so I checked video surveillance.

Ahhh, good ole surveillance cameras. They always give it away.



2 black boys, ditching school. I didn't throw the black kids out, they just don't come around much since Michael isn't there anymore. However, I do not believe my house should be some sort of refuge to take cover in while playing hookie and I will be addressing that post haste.



Fishies: I am pulling plants out of the water and doing head counts every day now. I SHOULD have 18 fish in there, large ones anyway, I actually have 12. If I lose any more of them, then I will be putting up fencing around the pond edge to keep birds/Herons out, as they are the only thing around that could eat a fish that big.



The experts tell you to look around your yard, sometimes they pick up a fish to fly off with it and then drop it. No fish bodies. I mean, if the bird already has the fish, he might as well eat it versus just letting it lay on the ground to rot.



I prefer them not even coming around my yard, thank you very much.



Turtles are still plain terrified. No biggies now that I have the info I needed to figure out what to do with them concerning their terror: nothing. And now I know I can simply put them in a cardboard box lined with a quilt or something and "store" them in the shed for the winter. Don't have to worry about them freezing to death in the cold water. Hey, that's what the expert told me to do, just store them on a high shelf in the shed from mid October to sometime in - March I think he said.



Whatever. I haven't done any work on that pond instllation in over a week, I simply decided to take a break from it. I will, however, be starting back up as I have noticed that this work must be part of the impetus that was causing me to lose weight which, as soon as I stopped the work, is also another point where weight loss also stopped.



Okay, folks, it's the first day of September. My "mind-frame" will begin to change as the temps and weather change along with it. That probably won't be happening today since the forecast high is 107, but still. Just the fact that the 3 hottest months are done and over with is enough to get me into a bit better - mood. Probably the extreme use of electricity is what sours things for me as I see my money going to operate a piece of machinery that cools the house.......



So, do I go for the year-long plan that equalizes the amount paid every month? Dunno yet. October is when they said to do it. I rather enjoy the 7 or 8 months of not having high electric use/bills. Just that summer always catches me and I am always struggling to get the money to pay it up - and this year was easily the high electric use in terms of money that I have ever seen being chucked out the window.



Well, anyway, work day almost here, only one thing to do in truck routing system but - it's better than nothing.



G'day.



ben

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Tuesday

Tuesday




The news is full of it today. Iran calls French first lady a PROSTITUTE? A giant "boot print" scar on Mars that is "baffling" scientists, Arizona being named in a state department report (going out to the world) about civil rights - yada yada yada.



Politics certainly is going to hell in a handbasket. It isn't mud-slinging anymore, it's throwing fireballs at each other. I guess it's normal, just seems like there's a LOT of it going on around the nation right now.



I suppose of concern to me is this issue of Iran wanting to stone a woman to death because she was caught committing adultery. It doesn't take a great leap, after hearing their president talking about the destruction of Israel and the U.S. on MANY occasions, to say that if they had nuclear warheads it wouldn't take much to get them to use one of them.



I do wish we had a real President in the Oval Office instead of what we have sitting in there now. I don't think he has the cahoneys to stand up to Iran. In fact, I'm not sure he even cares one way or the other, he certainly doesn't want to hear the voice of the American people when it comes to several issues and overwhelming majorities opposing him on issues such as the healthcare bill - and still doing it anyway. I heard him say the other day that he is working to "help future generations". Yeah, sure, to load them down with debt from THIS generation.



Gobbledygook I'm tired of it. Anyway, there is nothing in the truck routing system to today, but the Ops manager wrote me an email asking if I would try to sell all of our non-selling drip irrigation stuff on Craigslist.



Why, actually, I would be happy to! Lol. Give me something to do!



G'day.



ben

Monday, August 30, 2010

Monday

Monday




Well, here we go again - looking for a new tenant that is. There is a guy that has been calling me for months about whether I have a room available or not - I think this person might turn out to be high maintenance and I already have one of those.



The female tenant that had the kids over this weekend - definitely high maintenance. The ex-Marine had told me not 2 weeks ago that he was talking with his mother .......add a lot of words here......and that he was just going to stay at my place.



Somehow, I figured when he started getting that free money from the military for monthly expenses that he would be leaving. I also think the Army reservist lady is going to leave soon because she just registered for school and as soon as it starts, she will also start getting a good chunk of money every month.



As I said, here we go again. She has not, however, given a move-out date. Well, I have a date for the Marine: the 11th of this coming month so I am going to get moving with starting to run ads - probably on the 1st. His friend that he is moving in with wanted him to move out by the 1st - giving me all of 2 days notice.



Yes, I would have gotten pretty mad, really, for someone to do something like that. All I can say is I hope I can find someone and quickly as summer isn't quite over, yet, the high today is quoted at 97 degrees. I'm referring to electricity, the extreme use of it to keep the house cool through central AC and the fact that without 3 tenants, the house will not be very cool : ) Turn the thermostat up to about 90 and I can probably afford that.



Well, anyway, it is what it is, deal with it as it comes. The trailer tenants - dunno about them. I don't think they're going to be able to get the place they were looking at because they simply don't have the down money to get in it. They want first month's rent and I think a $200 security deposit. Sorry, I can't help ya with that, you're welcomed to stay until you figure something out.

August 30, 2010 5:55 AM

Anonymous said...

Turtles. Well, I wrote some experts on an internet site about them, the fact that they are terrified, on and on, and I got a very detailed and lengthy - and informative - response back. Don't worry about them, don't even try to feed them for a few WEEKS. Lol. Okay. I was informed that they can live for months without food if the prior owners fed them well (which they definitely did) and that it is quite normal that they go to the bottom of the pond and - pretty much be mortified. Further, those turtles were at eye level in their old habitation, now, they are on the ground. When someone like me - 6'2" walks up to them, it's more like King Kong to them.



Here comes the kicker: he states that they probably aren't going to survive a Phoenix winter, it gets too cold for them. Not cold enough to hibernate (I didn't know turtles were hibernating creatures) but too cold to survive. So, what to do with these turtles in winter? I will probably get rid of them if it's going to turn into a high-maintenance nightmare. I thought about making some turtle soup. Lol. No, really,I don't have any place in the house where I would want to put a tank, I do have a shed outside but it will just get cold in there, I think I may just start looking for a new owner for them.



As for the fish, well, I have enough fish now, thank you. I need more plants, but there is a pond club meeting coming up in a couple of weeks and usually you get free plants. This time, I will arrive earlier. There was a family at the last one that was hoarding the free plants - helping themselves to everything and not leaving much for anyone else. I was at those people's home at the pond club tour - they can use as many plants as their greedy little fingers can walk off with out of those meetings. I did end up with a nice umbrella plant which is in one of the ponds now and it does, as the owner that brought them in say, reproduce very quickly. In fact, I think I might be able to separate some of them now and repot.



Work day approaches. There is one order in the system but I have to go 4 or 5 different places to get all of the materials, including one place that is a good drive from here, so I will be busy at least for most of the morning. Which is nice. As for the home front, well, I have new things to worry about - finding more tenants. Always a hassle, always causes some amount of trepidation, always.



G'day.



ben

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Plecos

So, I went back.  The pond owners are trying to get rid of all of the fish.  I wish I could oblige - I took some, yes, but not all of them.  My 2 ponds with fish cannot further handle, I don't think, any more fish.  I have a huge filtering process, yes, but it can only handle so much.  I just cleaned it out - a giant pile of fish poo. 

Both of the ponds for fish are pretty much full.  I mean, sure, you can put more in them, but is it wise?  I have good filtering and great aeration on both of them  - but - I have read ample material on the subject that yes, there is a point where you can have too many.  It's the point of amount of toxins that accumulate in the ponds, not feeding them - feeding is cheap enough and that doesn't really do anything to turn me away from getting more fish. 

Anyway, catching the Plecostomus proved to be a challenge - much more so than even the Koi yesterday.  They are mud dwellers, they can hide down there.  The man drained the pond down until there was very little water and we were able to get them all out of there - 5 large ones.  This was the score as well as the heaters, I took 8 of them.  I paid for 6.  They threw in a couple extras in case one doesn't work, but they basically said they always discard the ones that aren't working.  Okay, I paid $2 a piece for heaters that are normally $30 a piece.  THAT'S why I went there today.  Now, I am prepared for winter.  I need only get floating thermostats for the ponds to make sure they are warm enough - since that's quite a while away, I am not going to concern myself with it right now. 

Upon viewing the new fish in both ponds, a large white goldfish that I got today and one of the goldfish already in the pond are - doing something.  I don't know if goldfish will get agressive with each other but one is chasing the other around.  Another plausibility is that there are mating rituals going on.  Not really sure.  I'll give it some time to see if the activity dies down - other wise I will remove one or the other from the pond and put it in the other pond. 

Hours long interlude as life occurs and I have to deal with things.

One of which is the ex-Marine's 5th declaration that he is moving out next month on the 11th.  This turned into a long, drawn out conversation.  The fact of the matter is:  he has no idea what he's getting himself into.  Renting an apartment with a friend.  I can think of nothing that can end a friendship faster than living with friends at a young age and attempting to learn the things in life - that many readers learned decades ago.

I gave no warnings about such: most people have to learn that on their own.  I can find another renter, I am not worried about that.  I just watch people come and go out of here - some will make it, some will not.  One was carted off on a stretcher.  He is STILL in a nursing home. 

Uhhh, even more interruptions and this post is over, as I have to go to bed.

G'nite.

ben

Saturday and Sunday

Started an entry yesterday but never finished it. The unemployed tenant had her 2 kids over - a 4 year old girl and 7 year old boy.  They were here ALL day long.  She had little control over them and I will be having a discussion about whether I want them over here again or not considering the yelling, screaming and perpetual chaos that went on for most of the day.  At around 7:00pm I had had MORE than enough when the little girl came into the hallway and started screaming at the top of her lungs - just to hear herself screaming apparently. 

I, in turn, began speaking very loudly that "You need to get your kids under control, stop the screaming junk - NOW!!"

They left shortly after that - I disappeared into my bedroom.  I have my computer out here - here being in the kitchen area - there simply was no peace.  I can handle quite  a bit of stuff, but yesterday was ridiculous.  I had thought she was thinking about having them over another night the way she was talking, I would have intervened and said, no thanks, they've been here long enough, take'em home, thanks. 

Anyway, I DID go and get some more fish yesterday.  2 more ponds shutting down.  My mission: Koi, no more goldfish.  I have lots of goldfish, I only had 2 Koi until yesterday.  I was the first one there, the guy claimed that there were "hundreds" of fish in his pond - simply not true.  He only had 2 Koi, but the 2 he had were huge.  He wanted $10 a piece for them.  A 16 inch long Koi is going to get at least $50 on the market, if not much more.  I bought both of them and considered that my "fun money" for this pay period.  His pond was not much larger than the pond I put those Koi into - he said he had them about 4 years - so, I guess these giant fish can do very well in smaller ponds. 

Catching those suckers - as it always is with Koi - proved to be a lengthy process.  The first one took about 10 minutes to snag, I got him with my small net, put him in the container where he jumped out onto dry land.  Not smart, Mr. Koi, not too smart.  Picked him up, dumped him in there, put a lid on it and then we proceeded to try and catch the other, larger one.  HE was a pain the rear.  He did NOT want to be caught.  Spent a good half hour trying to catch him.  I finally suggested to the guy to block him in at one of the pond and it should be easier to get him.  Sure enough, 2 minutes after blocking him in, I snagged him.

He also had several large plecostumus.  They are algea eaters and I want several.  I dunno how hard it would have been to catch them, the water was too murky from catching the Koi to even see them so I gave up on that idea.  I told him if he could catch them I would come back and get them.  Haven't heard back from him so I dunno.  Maybe I'll call later, he only wanted $3 for a giant pleco, that's a good price.  I have seen people advertising pleco's that large for $15 and up. 

Well, that guy has another ad up so I called him just now - he is selling his pond heaters for $2 each, that's a SMOKING deal and I want them.  I don't need them now but I also don't want to be caught red-handed when winter FINALLY - IF EVER - gets here and the water needs to be warmed up a bit.  Later on for that is all I can say. 

My son is a good boy.  He wants to get my old Buick running and said he had $200 to do so.  I had thought he had much more money than that - yes, he did, his mom is unemployed and he gave her $200 or more to help her out a bit. 

The problem with getting that car going is it's going to cost around $400 or so to do it.  I don't really have "extra" funds right now.  Spending $20 on fish and maybe a few more dollars later for those heaters is about the end of it. 

However, the food bill has gone down considerably around here and the electric use is starting to fall as the temps have come down.  I don't, however, even think about calling summer done - the extended forecasts still show some hot days ahead.  The forecasters in these parts don't seem to have a clue what they are doing.  I mean, it rained yesterday and there wasn't anything in the forecast for rain.  Stuff like that.  Anyway, my problem is that I pretty much got sucked dry in the finance department trying to keep up with huge electric bills and dealing with late paying tenants.  I spent $500 last month on electricity and just hit $400 for this month - 3 more days to go til' the first I'm going to call it about a $430 month for electricity.  Better than last month, still far too high. 

I told Caleb he might ask his grandpa to help him out with the car if he wanted to hand write a letter to him.  Grandma won't help with such things, I know that for a fact so not even worth bothering to ask.  Meanwhile, I'll come up with a budget for next month and see if I can look forward to some extra funds what with much less food being eaten and hopefully shrinking electric use as the hot days start winding down to and END, thank you very much. 

Well, I don't have much more.  It's quiet.  Caleb just left for work and tenants are either sleeping,  awake and I can't hear them or not here, I haven't checked and don't care to.  I have numerous things I want to get done today - I was going to go to church but once again, I didn't make it to a clothing store so, no-go.  I just won't go to church in blue jean s and t-shirts, it's not my style and I wouldn't feel comfortable showing up in such "condition". 

G'day.

ben

Friday, August 27, 2010

Friday

Friday




So here comes this dude that is always messing up my Friday pre-work morning rituals. I mean, like right now as I was going to start writing this entry. One problem for him: I locked the door behind me this time. Again, if it were a customer, great, come on in, what do you need? But a truck driver? I AM a truck driver, I KNOW what it's like to have to wait until the doors open. Still 21 minutes left of pre-work stuff, I am not about to go deal with him for the next 15 minutes.........



I just find it aggravating is all.



Anyway, I was just reading a little blurp written by Karl Rove - and Obama's "Summer of Recovery", of which there is no legitimate way that Obama could possibly define this summer as one of recovery in any economic sense, none.



Where is this recovery? Where are the jobs? The housing market? Wall Street? I mean, get real, dude, there IS no recovery and the gloomists are saying another 2 and a half YEARS of "corrections", they like to call it, in the housing crash. In other words, that much more time's worth of foreclosures.



Well of course! How does an unemployed person that has no or little income pay a mortgage? I am, apparently, the exception to the rule: I have tenants, basically, paying my mortgage. Most people, apparently, would rather lose their home than have strangers live with them.



OHHHH, this guy. NOW he's at the window. AMAZING. At 6:00 am, I will go open the door. If he leaves before then, it's on HIM, not me. HE CAN WAIT like everyone else. I just announced to him very loudly that "I'm BUSY" and turned my attention away from it. What's he going to do, report me? Lol. Next time I'll put some over the window so he can't see in, either.

August 27, 2010 5:56 AM

Anonymous said...

Ummm, anyway, lost my thought. Oh, yes, Obama and his recovery program that is, ultimately, going to have our children's children paying for this s***. Talk of repealing the health care bill, is, fortunately, still very present. Look, let's have health care but let's do it in a responsible manner, not just say here, let's dump a trillion dollars at it and hope the problem goes away.



Anyway, weekend almost here. There is, again, nothing in the truck routing system for today to do, which totally sucks. Another long day. Manager's meeting meaning all managers are "offsite" today doing a yearly meeting going over what, exactly, no idea. I hope to leave early today and just use vacation hours to cover it unless, of course, something comes up (which would be very nice if it did).



The weather forecasters around here, as normal, can't get anything right. Yesterday, rain wasn't even in ANY forecast, yet it was raining all over the place! LOL. This entire weekend now is supposed to have cloud cover, chance of rain and temps below 100 degrees.



Oh, the turtles. Yes, well now they're just hanging out at the bottom of the pond, underwater, terrified, don't know what to do for them. Really, I don't. I'll look on the internet to see if I can find anything, but, I doubt it. Time, I'm guessing, is the only factor here that will allow them a chance to settle down and grasp the reality that yes, this IS your new home. Prince, the giant black Great Dane, is fascinated by them. I pull them out of the water, oh yes I do, when I come around. Afraid or not, I am not going to just let them hide down there. He sniffs them, doesn't try to bite them or anything with this look of fascination on his face.



IF the temps stay down this weekend, I will be out front of the house doing yard work. I did several weeks ago - spend several hours out there - but there is really much more I need to get done. Grass is trying to grow everywhere and I'm going to have to put more plastic down to stop/contain the growth. A pain, yes, but I don't want grass growing out there at all.



Anyway, work day - whatever work there may be to do - is almost here and I have a few more things I wanna do before signing in.



G'day.



ben

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Thursday

Thursday




Apparently I forgot when I got home yesterday from work to post that morning's post from this comments section to it's own post.



Oh well. The only reason I do it this way now is because I don't always feel like writing in the afternoon and now I can't log into my Blogger account at work, soooo, this is the only remedy.



Anyway, I guess my notices worked because the other tenant - of whom I was prepared to hand a 5-day notice today and already it had it prepared and ready to go - handed me over the rest of the rent.



Apparently, her paying me the rent is on her time, not mine. I have to wait every 2 weeks for her to get paid. So, the rent that is due on the 1st won't get paid until the 8th.



We got to talking. She wants to go to college and went to some community college over in Gilbert. Her parents and her both decided it was too far away. I suggested a community college that is all of 2 miles from my house. She leaves, comes back 2 hours later and informs me she has enrolled in college, lol, that the military is paying for it and when she starts, the military is also going to be giving her over $1,300 per month for living expenses. I'm telling you, it MUST be NICE!!



She then declared that she will be getting her own place after she starts getting her money. I asked her to please give me enough advance notice when she intends on doing that. She replied that she will be staying for a while until she can get some stuff paid off.



That's as much conversation as I've gotten out of that woman as I have had since she moved in. Literally. The only reason I got it was because she locked her keys in her car, couldn't get into her room, etc etc etc. I offered to open the room, she said NO!! Made me curious as to what, if anything, she has going on in there that she would get so defensive about having her room opened for her?



Well, whatever. I don't hear loud banging noises and I don't think she has someone else living in there, so, no big deal.



Meanwhile, the turtles. It's becoming rather comical. They are SO afraid that they just dive into the water whenever I walk up to the pond and then start swimming up against the side of the pond, apparently trying to get out! I decided to wear my straw hat, like I do with the fish, so that I can be more easily identified by these creatures.



Uhhh, well anyway. I have been trying to get something done on my mortgage - lower the interest rate again, refi - whatever. I can't get another modification, they told me yesterday, because I am not behind in my payments. Well and freaking good that is. So, what, let the payments go for 3 months and the call them back? They suggested a refi which I KNEW I wouldn't qualify for because the loan to value is WAY off kilter at this point.



I called the bank anyway, who called me back. We had a nice little discussion, didn't bother to apply, no need to, it wouldn't have been approved and would have been a waste of mine and the bank's time. I'm guessing the house is 30 to 40k upside down now. Yeah, somewhere in that range. It's a very difficult decision to make in deciding whether to walk away or stay.

August 26, 2010 5:59 AM

Anonymous said...

Well, it isn't that hard. I mean, a short-sale is the best option if the lender will go for it, but I think offers would be low and the lender might not like it. If I walk, then eventually I have to go bankrupt. If I stay, how many years or even decades before the house is worth at least as much as the mortgage that's on it? One thing I hope I never have to do again is go bankrupt. Once through that misery was more than enough.



I'm just going to sit on that one a while, think it through, make a decision eventually. I hate the neighborhood I am living is what the real deal is. A lot of the people are just trailer trash, literally. Dump garbage out their side doors as if their entire property is nothing but a landfill and trust me, some of them LOOK like a landfill.



OFF of that subject that is AGES old, unfortunately and gets me going every time I start thinking about it. Really - WHY can't they just keep their properties CLEAN at the very least, even if they have no landscaping? TRASH.



That's life in my fast lane, what about yours? Oh, the trailer tenants. Well the guy has been working outside and now inside as well. Cleaning out the utility room - looks very nice. I needed some acetone to remove glue sticking on the molding from - yes my - leaving tape on there. I was painting and forgot about it. He has done so much work and it's the end of the month (they are broke) I handed him a $20, told him to go buy the acetone and then keep the change. Acetone doesn't cost that much. So, he's going to get that junk off of there, paint it and it will look wonderful again.



I have seen 4 different weather forecasts for this coming weekend with wildly different predictions. It's CRAZY. How do these people come up with this stuff? One says Saturday will be 98 degrees, another says it will be 107. Whatever. I mean, I could just throw out a guess and that would be as close as anything they are coming up with.



This is crazy, NOW they have TOMORROW'S high at 100 - 2 days ago they said it was going to be 109!! ROFL!!! Gee, I think I want to be a weather forecaster, pick numbers out of a hat and that's what the temp will be!!



I put an ad on Craigslist for pond plants - either free or cheap. One guy wrote back that he would hand me a slew of plants for $20 including water lilies. Hmmm. Well, water lilies aren't cheap and I could use several more of those plants right now. Thing is, people thin out their ponds all the time and some of those people just chuck the stuff in the trash. THAT is who I am trying to get to in my ad - yes, folks, I'll come get them and get them when you're doing the thinning process. Think I'll wait instead of spending money. Plus, there is a pond meeting in 16 days I think it is and people bring plants from their ponds and give them away.



Okay, so, the Taliban is going to attack aid workers in Pakistan. To me, that is just plain cowardice, not to mention stupid. Those people are bring food and medical supplies and such to those people that have lost homes and have no access to food because of the flooding disaster going on over there. I think if those people do attack aid workers that there will be a special place in HELL reserved for them for engaging in killing anyone that is over there that is trying to HELP THEIR PEOPLE.



Work day almost here. This, so far, has been the slowest week yet. Work is so unbelievably difficult to make it through a day when there is literally nothing to do.



Anyway, hope you have a great day!



ben

Wednesday

Wednesday




It was virtually guaranteed that McCain was going to beat Hayworth yesterday - even though Hayworth predicted yesterday that he was going to beat McCain in a "landslide victory that will go down in the history books".



I never used to give much credence to polls, but I "came around the corner" and figured they are usually pretty close - in this case, the polls were showing McCain FAR ahead of Hayworth, the polls in this case didn't lie. I'll take McCain over Hayworth ANY day - let Hayworth go sit back at the radio desk and do his little daily talk show.



As for Governor Brewer, I didn't even look at the polls, no brainer: she's going to take it and she did. The Immigration bill that she signed into law made her WILDLY popular in Arizona despite what the loudmouths are saying all over the place. It brought the border, border security and immigration problems back into the limelight and has made it a significant sticking point for the upcoming November elections.



Terry Goddard is Brewer's opponent. I can say one thing with certainty: If Goddard wins in November, I will be wanting to leave the state of Arizona. That may not be feasible or happen, but I won't want to live here under his "leadership". The mas is a FUBAR, and clusterfreak, a walking jumble of nothingness and hot air.



Okay, enough of that. I'll donate $20 to Brewer's campaign fund just to know that I did something to back up my feelings about it. I also voted yesterday - even IF I figured the election was going to turn out as it did with the candidates I am interested in. People who mouth off about how our government is being run but who don't bother to vote? SHUT UP.



Tenants. Always issues with tenants. Well, I came out this morning and found an envelope with my name on it in front of my computer. I knew who that was from and figured what was inside. Money, yes. For being unemployed I'll give her some kudos for coming up with money. She is getting unemployment but child support is deducted from it, leaving not that much left over (and certainly not enough to even cover the weekly rent).



She must like my place or she wouldn't be trying so hard to get the money to stay there. I'm not like a lot of landlords renting rooms who don't want you to have ANYONE over. No boy/girlfriends, no family, no friends, nothing. They give a hard time to their tenants and I imagine that people like to get out of those situations.

August 25, 2010 5:58 AM

Anonymous said...

I don't care - for the most part - what people do in their bedrooms as long as noise levels are kept down. When noise levels go up, then I start knocking on doors: Please turn down the volume on your activities, the rest of the house does not want to hear about it, thank you.



I mostly do not have to do that. The other lady that I gave the "friendly notice" to, 2 days ago, has not replied and is hiding. She has been in her bedroom and doesn't come out -until I have gone to bed/work/whatever. She IS working so I don't understand the problem here. However, the next notice, which will be delivered tomorrow if I don't get money from her, will not be so friendly, it will be just a blunt, 5-day pay or quit notice. Pay up or get out, plain and simple. She has a large bedroom, satellite tv, access to the internet, room is nice and cool with AC, I am definitely providing a service and I definitely do not overcharge.



So there.



Okay, I tried to see the turtles this morning, but - the sun is coming up later now and it isn't light out that early. Well, I trust they are okay. They are in for another scare, I am guessing, when I come to the pond today and look down in there and see what they're up to. Probably, they will be on the dry area and probably, when they see me, they are going to plop into the water and hide at the bottom. Yes, well, they are going to HAVE to get used to me is all I can say about that.



The 6 new goldfish in other pond seem to be doing okay. Well, they haven't died and don't show signs of dying, so I will hope they are going to survive in there.



Antonio, the smaller goldfish that the family brought over last weekend, is doing quite well in his new environment. He apparently loves the "open space" that a 7 and a half foot long by almost 5 feet pond gives him as opposed to the 10 gallon aquarium he was in. In fact, that pond is doing so well I am going to hate to "shut it down" when the time comes to get that big pond going.



I will transfer the water from that pond into the big pond - fish and plants as well. Then I will have to decide what I want to do with that one. I am thinking that it isn't all such a bad idea that maybe one of these ponds just stays an above ground setup - and that one seems the perfect one to do it with.



The issue - besides digging out that hard ground - is what to do with all that dirt. That is a larger pond and will also prove to be a difficult task to find a good place to put the dirt and not have the area I am putting it in look - bad. So, I'm thinking of moving it from where it is, yes, but put it somewhere up against the side of the house and start anew with it.



Well, that's enough for one entry. There is, again, nothing in our truck routing system, which really is no fun at all. There is something for tomorrow in there, yes, but that doesn't help with today. It will be a long seven and a half hours is all I can say about that.



G'day.



ben

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Turtles

The turtles are absolutely terrified. 
I had read that they probably will be for even up to several days worth.
I did not expect them to be THAT mortified, however. 
But, thinking about it:
I just took 2 reptiles that were living in a glass aquarium for 4-1/2 years.
Living in an artificial envirnonment in a teenager's bedroom, they knew nothing more
than a log and water.  That was ALL that was in that aquarium.  There were no plants,
no fish, nothing but water, gravel on the bottom and a log in the middle.  I mean - really.
Umm, well I intend on at least trying to put plants in there.  They say turtles may - or may not -
eat them. 
Well, anyway, I took them out of their box, put them on the dry area I made for them, they just sat there,
looking at me.  One of them jumped into the water and went to the bottom.  The other did the same.
They wanted nothing to do with me, lol. 
I stood there and they were clawing at the side of the pond, apparently trying to get away from me.
I decided to make some hiding places for them so they might settle down a bit - of which they went directly for. 
So that's that.  I just left them - other things I wanted to do and I figure I will spend more time tomorrow out there and see if they are "coming out of their shells" a little bit.
No, I am sitting here waiting on primary results.  Supposedly the first rounds of results will be given out at 8:00pm  which is in less than 5 minutes.
ben

HOT Day

There were just six of them.  6 pallets.  Loaded with heavy fittings for ductile iron pipe.  A contractor returned all of it  and now we are sending it back to the manfucturer, it is oddball stuff that we can't resell and are not going to just keep in "inventory" forever.  The manufacturer will charge a 25% restock fee, but at least the contractor gets something back out of it.

Well, my job was to make all of that stuff fit for transporting on LTL trucks.  LTL is simply a term for less than load - not a whole truckload.  You see them all over - Conway/Saia/Bestway all kinds of companies specialize in picking up materials that are not a full truckload but are FAR too heavy or large for UPS or Fedex to pick up in one of those vans they drive around.

Well, I have ample experience with these freight companies.  The stuff gets moved around endlessly until it makes it to it's destination.  It doesn't just get moved around, it gets bashed into by other freight and crashed into by forklifts and hand trucks.  So, I had to really package the stuff well.

WEll, it was 110 degrees out there and that's in the shade.  Banding the stuff up and then walking around each pallet endless times with shrink wrap to entomb it in plastic and then tape it up and the move it back outside?  About killed me.  I had another heat headache, I HATE those.  I will freely admit that this summer has totally kicked my @$$.  I have never experienced so much heat with the humidity levels at what they are for such an extended period of time.  111 degrees with up to 50% humidity?  It's like being tortured.  I'm not trying to be funny, either, it is literally HELL out there right now. 

I got done with that and felt like passing out.  Even my manager took one look at me and asked if I was okay.  I didn't say anything, what's to say?  It totally SUCKS outside during the daytime, especially for those of us that have to work in it.

I went on a delivery run after that - something finally came up and I decided today, after going through all of that, would be the day to cheat and totally blow the diet.  Ohhhhh, and I did.  No, not the sub sandwich this morning that had ham, loaded with veggies and topped with a little vinegar, mustard and pepper.  Nope, that's been a staple of this diet, actually.  It's the only fast food I can find that has low calorie and low fat offerings. 

Ahhhh, no, I went for the Dairy Queen Blizzard.  A LARGE one.  German Chocolate.  I hadn't had one of those  - I dunno, in a year?  I stay away from ice cream because I love the stuff so much.  You wanna put on a nice gut, just eat ice cream every day.  It was heaven in a cup.  I devoured it - too fast actually, should have taken a little more time and enjoyed it a little more cause' honey, there ain't gonna be no more of those offerings for quite a long time.  You know, I didn't feel bad at all after I ate it.  I thought - I have done so well making good eating choices and literally shoving temptation back down my throat and not giving in SO many other times, I thought it was a treat well-deserved. 

I think next month I will do something out-of-diet, but it won't be ice cream.  Instead I'll have a meal of something that I haven't been eating and just forget about the calories.  I am totally resolved to continue eating the way I have been since I started this diet for a long time to come, I don't have a problem with what I am eating because I happen to like the stuff.  I DO need to find some new recipes, I will be spending some time doing that soon enough.

In 2 hours I go to get the turtles.  Never had turtles as a kid, I think it might be cool.  But, if I end up hating it, I can always sell them on Craigslist, those kinds of turtles don't last long on there, people buy them up if you are giving a good price.  They actually had posted these turtles for sale before I even saw them, but contacted me via email - they don't really want money for them they want a good home.  I promise to give them a good home while they are here and if I end up liking having turtles around, they will be here until I either lose the house to foreclosure (hope not, but reality is reality) or they die, or I move - though if I move and it is voluntary (not foreclosure) to another property that I would buy, all animals - dogs/fish/turtles/some humans - would go with me.  These are preformed ponds and come out of the ground easily.  It's DIGGING the ground out FOR them that's the pain the - rear.  No, coming OUT of the ground is simply the act of removing living water creatures - put them in temporary quarters - take out plants - temp quarters as well, pump out the water, grab a hold of the liner and walaah - it comes right out. 

Uhhh, gotta go out and feed the fishies : )

ben

Tuesday

Tuesday




Yesterday afternoon, I found an order that our main branch was taking out that is supposed to be for our branch. The trip includes going to Tucson and then up to the mines in the mountains. My attempt to thwart the action - failed :(



The reasoning was that there was going to be stuff in our system to do locally today, we can't be traipsing around the countryside. Well, there is nothing in our system - as there was nothing in the system yesterday before I left - and now - nothing to do when work starts besides attempting to invent things to do, as always.



Vote for J.D Hayworth or John McCain - that is the question.

Easy one there. We ALREADY got rid of Hayworth once and the ads McCain has run against him? Hayworth couldn't refute and actually ended having to apologize for his part in running ads in Florida that bilked people out of a lot of money.



I'd RATHER vote for someone else - but there is no-one else besides some dude I have never heard of and won't be voting for.



Anyway, I have my pond set up for the free turtles. A small pump that I already had, an aerator and that's it besides the pond I also already have. This one is going to be an experiment. If they turn out to be too much work and trouble, I can sell the suckers for $25 or so a piece and be done with them.



Tenants.

1st tenant I was going to hand an eviction notice to yesterday stated that she was coming up with enough money to cover at least one week's worth of rent. Okay, well, I want to see that no later than the end of today or - the eviction notice will be handed to her.



2cd tenant - avoiding me. I gave her the friendly notice - well I put it under her door, she was home and never did leave yesterday. She doesn't come out when she's home except to use the bathroom so I don't ever really see her. If I don't see the money in the next few days, it's going to be an eviction notice. Actually, in 2 days so I can have her out by the first of next month. She has a job, I don't know what her problem is and I noted on the notice that if she is going to continue to have problems paying on time, she needs to discuss with me the situation.



The only "guaranteed" money I ever get is from the ex-Marine, and that only because he gets money from the military every month. Whatever the case, dealing with deadbeat tenants gets old.



Work day is here, gotta get offa here.



G'day.



ben

Monday, August 23, 2010

Monday

FINALLY came into work and found something to do in the truck routing system. I was NOT looking forward to having to attempt to invent things to do all day long as was the case for most of last week, sans one day when I was running around all day long.




I am simply not the kind of person that wants to sit around doing nothing at work. It gets boring, monotonous and I start to get lethargic.



I placed an ad in Craigslist a while back asking for "things for the pond". Instead of constantly scouring the ads for people shutting their ponds down and either giving stuff away or selling very cheap, I thought I'd just put the ad out there and see what happens.



Yesterday, a family contacted me through the ad saying that their son is going to college, they have to red eared slider turtles, do you want them? I had to think about that. What do turtles eat? How much does it cost to keep them? I started looking it up - they LIKE to eat fish and even some vegetables, but the main thing that keeps them healthy is some prefabricated food that you buy at the store, much like the Koi pellets I have to buy about once a month (at $6.00 per large can, I am not spending very much money keeping all of those fish).



I have an extra pond and was thinking I could put them in there and see what happens. Keep them from the goldfish - definitely far away from them, I don't want them crawling aroud my yard, finding the other ponds and then having dinner on a goldfish or Koi. That's kind of the dilemna - where to put the pond so I know they won't be bothering the fish. The only answer I can come up with is out front where I was going to put one of those ponds anyway.



The front of my house is starting to look like a tropical rain forest or something. There is so much trees and vegetation - well - it's really the effect I was looking for anyway. Most of the sissoo trees that I have planted around the property - over 20 of them - have taken off and growing like giant weeds - that includes the trees out front.



I'll have to clear a place for the pond - it's a small one I have no intention of putting a large pond out front and taking up precious space for trees and shrubbery - but I do have a place in mind.

August 23, 2010 5:59 AM

Anonymous said...

One problem, however, is getting electricity out there. Have to have a small aerator and a small pump to keep the water from stagnating and going foul. I have the pump, I have an extra bio-filter - I do not have an aerator but they only cost $10 for a small one so no big deal and they don't use much electricity.



Which leads me to the next "problem" I was facing in this array of ponds I am going to have out there - I need an electrical box mounted on a pole with at least 12 outlets to really do this right. Fortunately, there IS electricity out there - the line that feeds my AC unit could be tapped to provide the power.



But - funds are very tight right now. I have a big plus in my corner going: the elimination of all of those kids coming over had an instant effect on finances: a lot of food not being consumed. Chips, cookies drinks? Haven't bought any in over a week. My son doesn't want any of that stuff so I have no further reason to buy the junk. I don't eat it, either. But far beyond that is the huge amount of food I was buying to fill teenaged stomachs, which, if you've ever had teenagers, you know how much food they can eat.



I'll bet I dropped $300 per month - AT LEAST - in the departure of all of them. The only ones left are my son and J.D., the oldest black brother who comes over at night to get on the internet. No, they don't have internet at their house. He's been coming over to my house for.....years now. He does like the junk food but I am simply not going to be buying any more of it, or very little of it at this point.



I'm still in the deep woods- not out of the woods yet - in terms of finances and money spent on electricity and all the issues with tenants. One tenant will be getting a 5-day notice - she is paying me a portion of the rent with her unemployment but not all of it and now has entered a 3 week "behind" period that I will not let go any further, as I have no belief that she is going to find a job anytime soon.



The second tenant should have paid me the other half of the rent by now, she has not. That will be a "friendly notice" - please pay up. She does have a job and should have paid it by now.



So, do I get the turtles? A stop at Walmart today to find out how much that food costs will determine that. If it's as cheap as the Koi pellets and goldfish flakes, then I will have no problem with it.



Antonio - the 4 inch goldfish the family brought over yesteday - is doing quite well in his new environment. He's the smallest fish in the tank besides the mosquito eaters, but, apparenlty, goldfish don't really mess with each other that much, at least not from what I have observed.



The jury's still out on the 6 free fish I got yesterday and dumped into the other pond. They weren't doing well to begin with with the conditions they were subjected to at the previous owner's house, only time will tell if they are going to pull out of it.



Anyway, work day is almost here....



G'day.



ben

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Sunday

Pond next to the house was overflowing this morning.  Yes, it rained last night.  Free water to fill the pond (and water my plants)? Take that any day.  Anyway, I have a trip to make this morning to go get some more fish - free - another pond being shut down.  Got in on that one too late:  they were giving away Koi and goldfish.  Koi are gone, goldfish are left.  They claim they are 8 inches long and have 7 of them.    Well, for free, who cares what kind of fish they are, a big point of having ponds is to have fish in them.  These fish will go into the smaller pond as I believe I am maxed out on the number of fish the bigger pond should have in it.

Too many fish and the water will start to get full of toxins even if you are running a filtering system 24 hours a day.  After that, a family of however many is coming over to bring their beloved goldfish and want to see what kind of setup the fish is going to go into.  Okay.  Another free fish and I don't have to go anywhere to get it.  After that - well this may be pushing it timewise but I am hopeful to make it to church again.

2-1/2 hour break.  Got 6 fish from the shut-down pond and another goldfish arrived, family in tow, a few minutes ago.  These people wanted to shut down the aquarium but apparently wanted the kids to know that the fish was going to a good home.  So, they came into my back yard, mother had camera, papa had bucket, slowly dumped it into the pond, fish dumped out, kids started screaming with excitment - and they left.  That was it.  No elongated this that and the other thing, the got the fish in there and I guess that was their way of washing their hands of the fish and keeping it something in a good light for the kids.

The 6 fish are in the other pond.  They went to the bottom of it and sat there for a while.  They had been kept in a small tub with water so murky and dirty, you couldn't see those fish in there even though it was only maybe 14 inches deep.  The transport home probably didn't help them any, either.  Shock treatment should help them and so I dumped some of that in there.
Now that this is all over, I am attempting to decide whether to go to church or not.  I woke up too early this morning and now all this driving around and "excitement" has worn me out.  I'm ready to take a nap, not get dressed in Sunday Nines and go to church. 

Well, I have half an hour to decide.

Meanwhile, I'm still dieting.  My quit date for this diet?  When I lose the weight?  That probably won't work too well, now will it.  If you spend a year losing the weight and then just gain it all back again after you are "done", what possible good does that do?  I would think that would be depressing, to be honest.  I have no idea, honestly.  A life change in eating habits is what this is really all about.  I have kept a pretty strict approach about it - no cheating.  But, I have decided, I have been on this for quite a while now, the weight is ever-so-slowly dropping - but - I need to be able to cheat at least ONCE in a while.  Just one thing that I want, too: a German Chocolate Blizzard.  Pretty much guaranteed that before too many more days pass, I will have bought and consumed one and I won't feel bad about it one iota.

Now, if I go out and get ANOTHER one, then we have trouble. 

Well, I"m going to go check the fish and try taking a 20 minute nap.  Perhaps that will be enough to motivate me to go.

ben

 Saturday - late afternoon I did not get up early since I had second load and was really deep in sleep again.  Like, this all seems to have ...