So today I am driving the semi back to the yard.  My company phone rings, I hate answering the phone in that truck when I'm driving because the hands free device they got for it is a piece of garbage. You can hardly understand anything anyone is saying, it is so garbled.  Well I answer the phone before the computer thing tells me it's = answering it = and I hear this voice with a very distinct twang to it, Southern twang.  I've lived in Texas and I've been all throughout the South.

Which didn't mean I knew who it was, I missed the first part of what he said cause of the computer voice but I heard his name is Matt. "You having any luck finding employment in Longview?".  ??? No, I haven't even looked, I said, I am waiting to find out if I can find something with the company first.  I would rather stay with Ferguson than to have to move onto something else. I'm thinking, who is this? But I'm taking the bait cause' he knew too much.  Well is there anything with the Longview branch? Okay, gotta be a dude from my company, no, I replied they don't have anything from what I'm hearing.

"Well, we're definitely interested!"  I'm putting the exclamation marks on there because this guy was really enthusiastic about getting another CDL driver and one that isn't afraid to work and whatever my management told him, it was already a done deal.  We had a good conversation and I was all over it - but so was he.  "Well, you are a CDL driver, right?". Yes, I am.  "Well you can driver tractor-trailer rigs, right?" Yes, I can, lol.  "Well okay, we get people in here that say they can and then we find out they can't".  Well, I can drive just about anything, but if you want to ask my management I'm all good with that.  "No, I believe you, lol, just that we've had so many that say the can and then turn out to be nothing".  I'm talking to you from the cab of my truck, I've been driving the thing all day long in city traffic.

There is nothing else I need to write about today, though there certainly is more.  I just have a hard time nowadays finding time to write in this journal and also everything else that is going on!  But I am elated, if I get a job offer there, even if a long drive, I don't have to worry about getting over there now. I can deal with a long drive adding an hour and 45 minutes to my day or probably less since I tend to drive fast, just to get over there and if I find it too much, at least I am THERE, getting a paycheck with health care coverage and won't have to be pressed to find something.

G'nite.

ben

So, as the situation with those older boys usually goes, more developments.  The now moved-out 17 year old started talking to m'lady's ex and telling a bunch of s***  lies about what I was saying to him.  The problem - well one of the problems with her ex anyways - is that he always  believes his kids over her! I mean really?  Then when he contacts her with the lies and she goes through all this rigamooroo trying to explain to him what the reality is versus their version of truth is, he always ends up apologizing. Well get a clue dude! Geeze!

Fortunately, I had already copied and pasted the entire conversation to her before he ever called she knew everything that was said so he could just simply put his stupidity down.

The boy texted his mom today demanding a ride to work - that after he sends me an elongated reply to my message to him about how he doesn't get along with his mom, doesn't like her and doesn't want to be around her. ?!!!  Seriously.  These kid's minds are SO screwed up!  This all the doings of ex feeding their minds with the idea that mom is going into menopause so she is going to be wild and messed up for the next few years and that she doesn't cook and clean up after all of them and a lot of other stuff.

She refused to bow to it - I didn't even have to help her with that one - he is still yelling and cussing at her, it's ridiculous.  He needs counselling, that's all i can say about it.

Meanwhile, looking for airfare for next trip out there.  Pretty much $283 round trip to TYR from PHX.  Leaving on a Tuesday after work and taking 3 days off.  I'm kinda adamant that I keep at least 40 hours. I was going to only do 2 days but we are engaged now, I am going to take 3 days off plus weekend. Leave on the day before so it's 4 full days and the day I have to leave well not so much but oh well. I am hoping maybe I can just move out there long before we get married, she already found a decent place for me to live and my dogs can stay on her land and I will be over there every day after work so they will adapt.

____________________________

A couple of days since I started writing that one.  The 17 year old never did reply to me, which isn't shocking so just letting that one go again - I hadn't spoken to him in quite some time, my replies to him are undoubtedly not things he wants to hear, so whatever.  The 16 year old goofed up last night and after discussing it with him (via text messaging) I ended up coaching him on how to make the situation better.  Asking for forgiveness is not always easy to do, perhaps it is never easy to do but some situations are more difficult than others.  After he did what I suggested - without going into details here because I don't think it appropriate - everything really was quite better.

Regardless, it's Monday morning, almost time to leave for work.  My plans to do much of anything  are basically on hold until  I hear back from work and find out whether they are going to be able to offer me position over there or not.  I hope it doesn't take them too long to figure this out one way or the other.  If not, I need to start figuring out the businesses over there that might have good benefits packages and start sending out applications.  I've never really done anything like this before.  I mean, once I just gave everything away and went to the mission field, but this is different.  I don't have that much stuff so no biggies on that department but I do have to find a job and uprooting myself and attempting to make this happen, well, I'm just relying on God to help me make the next steps.

Anyway, off to work.

G'day.

ben

Things moving right along.
I put in to my company a few weeks ago a request for a job transfer if one is available.
Apparently, the industrial branch in Longview is considering creating a position for me and the waterworks division in Shreveport is considering the same thing.
The Longview branch does not need a driver, however, so I would be stuck in a warehouse.  Which I wouldn't mind so much, but there is talk of pay reduction.  Have to see how much of a pay reduction it is before I can give an answer to that.  I would far rather work at the Longview branch, though, the drive to Shreveport would be 50 minutes each way.  A lot of driving just go get to and from work.

Anyway, that all just started happening yesterday first with an email from my GM to my manager about it, then a call from someone at our corporate headquarters and then a call from my GM.  At least they are trying, I mean really trying.  So that's cool.

And if you somehow thought there was any lapse with kid drama, well, you thought wrong.  Latest flap was yesterday when the 17 year old - who moved out a month ago - came out of school with the 16 year old and decided that his mom was going to take him to her house so he could get some stuff and then she would take him to work.  He doesn't live with her anymore, he lives with her dad.  He wanted to leave because he basically hate her, yet here he is, deciding that she has to take him to work!

A fair amount of cussing and yelling ensued with the ensuing conversation between the two.  One of the subjects that came up was about me.  He won't text me anymore and this and that and the other thing.  Yes, before he left I was texting him and trying to talk to the boy.  But, he is full of anger and hate and it's kinda hard to talk to someone like that when you don't get any kind of breakthrough at all. But persisted anyway - until he left.  He was calling her a bitch and a list of other names and a few other things happened so I just stopped texting him after he left.

I had to ask her when we were discussing this yesterday: If he wanted to talk to me so badly, why didn't he text me?  It's not like he tried to text me and I refused to answer, nothing like that at all.  I wouldn't do that to him - or much of anyone else for that matter.  She replied he isn't like that and he wont do it.  So I said fine, I will text the boy but I doubt he's going to like what I have to say.  So I did.  It was quite lengthy and it was about his anger issue.  It was referring to the fact that even though he no longer lives with his mom, he is still acting out with her, yelling at her, cussing at her and what is with that, anyway? I sent it Facebook message so I would know if he read it.  You know, you send a private message when a person sees it there is a message at the bottom with a check mark and it says "seen" and the time it was seen.

Because I figured he would not respond to it and no, he did not.  M'lady wanted to know what I said to him, so I just copied and pasted the entire message to her - I really wanted to do that anyway so he could not come along and make accusations of what I didn't say they he would try to say that I did say or that he could try to claim I wouldn't contact him.

So that's that.  Meanwhile, the 14 year old is getting worse and worse by the week, even by the day. Today, he is refusing to go to school.  Well, call the school and let them know so it doesn't come back on you, is what I told m'lady.
_________________________

Another entry started - though this morning - just don't have time to finish.

ben

Could have sworn I posted something since Friday, the last entry on here! Must be a saved draft, lol.

M'lady is in full love mode, lol.  If it wasn't already before, it definitely is now!
We are longing for the day that I can move out there and let's get this going.
But, I need a job and income first. I don't want to move there and then try to find
a job - if possible anyway - I would rather have one secured before this happens.
In fact, it's really the next thing in line for me.  Job job job.

Meanwhile at home. 16 year old has chilled quite a lot.  Situation with the girl's parents has totally changed so now he gets to go see her or she comes to m'lady's house basically twice a week - Saturday and church on Wednesday.  The boy was begging me to go to church with them tonight - yes I know I am not there yet but I give m'lady my opinion on things and she listens to that a lot and that boy has finally figured that out.  Cause' I definitely do NOT side with him all the time. When he is acting like a bastard, he can go jump in an icy cold lake and I let him know that in no uncertain terms.

So I laid it on the line for him before I even spoke to her about it: You will have that girl over to your house on Saturday and you will have her go to your church on Wednesday and that is non-negotiable.  Okay and totally! he replies.  Okay then, but any attitude and I'm going to be pissed.  You treat your mom nice and that's that.  His reply was: "Okay:) thanks bro I love you!! "  I cannot remember any 16 year old boy telling me he loves me excepting my own son.  Of whom we say I love you to each other every time we speak.  Life is short and can be gone so fast, I always tell my boy how much I love him and how proud I am of him for what he is doing with his life.  I'm liking all this love stuff.  From her mostly, lol, but still.

So today?  She is telling me what her 12 year old boy did in the kitchen.  According to her 10 year old boy, he whipped "it" out playing with it in front of him and then pee'd on the floor.  That isn't just disgusting, that is reprehensible and a form of rebellion and definitely disrespect.  I was in shock. "That boy needs a leather belt laid on his ass".  That was my first thought.  That was my second and third thought as well.  She can't do it.   I won't be able to, either even when we're married since not my adopted son.  Of course, I COULD hold him down for her to do it!  I'm serious.  I will be out there hopefully at the end of next month.  Not a 7 day visit, I just don't have the vacation hours available for it.  But as much as I want to be with my babe I also want to have some discussion with the 14, 12 and 10 year old boys. I already talk to the 16 year old on a daily basis and though it's not the same as talking in person, our whole relationship has been through texting and Facebook messaging, so no biggies there.

I do have my work cut out for me and I do believe she believes that I will put an end to the s*** in the house. Yup, it will stop.  But it may get really ugly at first.  Cause' me?  I do not tolerate rebellion from stupid kids that walk all over their mother because they know she can't do anything about it.  It's the way they treat her that really pisses me off.

Well, anyway, work busy all 3 days this week and looking forward to a very busy day tomorrow and Friday as well.  In fact, on Friday, I have to go back up to the store in the mountains with that dude keeps offering me food and then dissing me.  This time I am just going to politely say no thank you.  At this point, I will not take food from him even if he has it in his hand.  He has crossed the line and I just don't want to go there.  Thank you, but no thank you.

I did not have a chance to finish this one, posting it anyway.

I was up in Globe/mountains on Wednesday.
Took a large, stainless steel valve to the dude that occasionally orders stuff from us. He's not loyal to any company, whoever gives him the best price - but - when it comes to finding the hard-to-find/acquire stuff, he comes to us every time.

This is a small town and small town atmosphere with everyone knowing everyone.  Every time I go up there, I greet the man  - he has a large store, big warehouse, really the only supplier of it's kind in that entire area and so he gets a lot of business, especially from the mines - every time if he is there and we always get into a conversation as if we are old friends that haven't seen or talked to each other for a long time.

Well, the tamale man shows up when I'm out in the parking lot talking to this dude.  This guy is quite the character, the dude that owns the business, not the tamale man, for clarification.  It is very difficult to describe his personality and his voice is off the wall.  Anyway, he has the window to his car down talking to me, counting a large sum of cash - I am assuming for his store cash registers - and the tamale man says something to him. He tells him to get me a pack of tamales as well. I said no, that's okay.  He's like, no, no, Ben! I'm going to get you one!  Well okay.  I was reluctant because he has told me this before about food and it never materializes.

I would rather he not offer something than to offer and then reneg/forget/ space it out/whatever, makes for hard feelings after it happens several times.  Well he gets out of the car and continues on with it.  Okay, I love tamales, thank you! But the tamale man disappeared inside the store with them.  Well, off to my pickup I went and waited - and waited - and waited - for one of the forklift operators to actually have his permission to unload the truck - even after he had already seen the valve and said okay. It's just the way things work up there, I have gotten used to it.  Paid by the hour, I think, no biggies.

Finally, half an hour later, the guy disappears into the building, finds out about the valve and comes out and unloads it.  I take the paperwork inside.  Owner is standing there talking to whoever but finishing up. I wait until he's done.  Hand him paperwork to sign including the electronic gadget like UPS has to sign. He says nothing about the tamales.  This time, I'm going to test him.  Why say such things and then just give you the birdie. That's how it feels to me, anyway, when people say things like that and then blow you off.  Hey, can I get the tamales?  He's signing my paperwork, a foot away from me, talking to no-one, definitely heard what I said.  He looks up at me and completely ignores me.

Pissed.  I did not ask, hint or even want his f****** food.  I am not broke, I can buy my OWN damned food.  Why the h*** do people toy with other people like that? Because they know they can, know that I can't say anything to him or else get into trouble with my company?  Dick.  Okay! I know not Christian talk but I get mad sometimes, what can I say.  I just said thanks and turned around and left.

Well I ended up having to drive downtown after that and do an emergency run for pipe and deliver it out to a jobsite in the far east valley.  The salesman pulls up and asks how it went?  Shit!  What is WITH that buddy of yours? and tell him the whole story.  I see him the next day, he comes pulling up.  Yeah, I talked him, he said he totally forgot and said he was sorry.  WTF?  Dude, he was standing RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME! But what is it worth getting pissed about I started thinking, next time he offers me anything, he can just keep it. Salesman said yeah, he checked yesterday after everyone had gone home and there were stll 2 dozen tamales there.  I just looked the salesman in the eye and said you know, next time I go up there, if he offers me food? I'll just politely tell him no thanks.  If he insists, I will insist that I don't want it.

Whatever.  I don't CARE about the food, it's the mind games and the toying with people that pisses me off.  God knows my thought when I went up there is that I would stop at the Burger House in Miami and buy my OWN food with my OWN money.  That was my thought long before I got there.

I hope it's a while before I have to go back up there, cool down a bit and just let it pass.  This is the 3rd time this guy has done this, this is why I am getting upset about it.  I'm not some kind of damn moocher going around with a work for food sign and I don't go around hinting at getting freebies.  I would rather NOT live like that and I DON'T!!!!!

Yup, an area in my life I need to work on, I'l give anyone that much.  Just let it ride, right?  Some things easier to do than others.  Probably the Lord throwing this stuff at me to learn how to deal with it.  Okay.

Onto other things.  The water leak.  I was sitting outside in this beautiful weather on Wednesday, hearing a noise but giving it no thought.  Dull hissing noise.  Faint.  Was sitting there quite a while just thinking about things with that sound - but it was so faint, like it was coming from a neighbor's property.  But after 30 or more minutes of hearing it, I finally started to hone in on it and tune into it.  What IS that and where is it coming from?

I'm looking at my house, that is where the sound is coming from! Get up, walk over and see the block underneath wet and hissing sound much louder now, obviously I have a water leak under there. gag.  Too late in the day, I figured to get under there Thursday and find otu what's going on.  Gag again, yesterday.  Crawl under there and find a lake and a LOT of mud.  How long has this been going on?  It is a copper fitting - it is flexible so it can be adjusted to make a 90 or 45 turn and get to the plastic pipe that it attaches to.  It had been banging up against the side of the house for who knows how long and there was a small hole - but that small hole under pressure? A lot of water.  I cut the thing off - it's copper - get out of there covered in mud, head to my company's store and get a replacement.

Back to mud. Could NOT get all the water out of the lines.  The copper would not heat up enough to sweat the joint. I was under there literally for hours.  I finally gave up after sun was going down - got it sealed enough to have a leak but NOTHING like it was with that hole.

Fast forward to today and abbreviating because it is WAY past my bedtime. I had Mark shut the water over 3 hours before I got home from work.  I got under there with my new fitting, saw no water coming out of the line, stuffed some bread up in there and then, in less than a minute, had that thing hot enough to sweat the joint and that was the end of it: perfect job, no leaks, thank you very much.  Oh yes, thank you.
Lengthy discussions  with both m'lady and 16 year old tonight.  Can't go into that because would take WAY too long and I would just rather discuss tomorrow or whenever's prudent.

G'nite folks.

ben

So.
Well.
Okay.
Huh.
Nothing bad.
Lol.
Still just stand in awe of the Lord.

This is concerning the situation with the 16 year old.  The day after I proposed marriage to m'lady and she said yes, this thing come over me.  You need to write to that lady.  Not my lady, the mother of the girl that the 16 year old is in "love" with.

I knew what I would write so....I fought it.  I didn't think she would receive it.  Why bother.  But I finally gave into this compulsion - I couldn't get past it - and wrote a rather lengthy message to that woman.  I had sent her a friend request which she had accepted and then she wrote me a nice birthday note on my Faceboook wall.  I said thanks and then asked if it would be okay to discuss a situation with her - didn't want to go into that in detail on my wall for obvious and numerous reasons.

If you really want to know, the "message" when printed out completely fills two full pages of type to the very end.  It covered the gamut. Some of it was very confrontational, such  as: "You didn't really tell a 16 year old boy that his mom just needs to get laid, did you?".  Yes she did say that to him, unfathomable speech in my view to be speaking to a teenager who isn't even your own kid - which wouldn't make it acceptable to say such things either.

I sent that message with the statement that reconciliation between the two parents and some level of forgiveness would have  to ensue if this relationship between that boy and that girl were to ensue.

I heard nothing back.  Until today.  But she did not contact me.  Instead, she contacted m'lady and asked for forgiveness and apologizing for being an idiot and letting those two talk her into doing things she should have never allowed (she called herself an idiot, I did not do that).  After ALL of this nonsense that has been going on with that boy and wanting to move out so he could have unlimited access to that girl - that girl's mom coming to pick him up at m'lady's ex's house in total defiance of m'lady's desires (she has full custody, dad only has visiting rights) - and all the rest of it, the entire situation has suddenly changed.

Boy knew nothing about this today, either.  That girl's mom laid down the law with her girl and told m'lady that if her son crosses the line, he cannot see her girl anymore. Same statement made to the girl. To me? This is totally awesome! This ends this s*** with this kid getting into his mom's face demanding he be allowed to kiss this girl (she just turned 14 a few days ago).  This just changes this thing so much, 180 degrees, that games that boy has been playing will be of absolutely ZERO use at this point: I read the note that lady sent to my lady and it was perfect as long as she intends on following through with it.

Well.  Boy will find out from girl tonight - probably already - if from no-one else.  Should be interesting to see what kind of attitude he will have now.  He gets in his mom's face and all that, is he also going to get in his girlfriend's mom's face and start all that s*** with her, too?  He can't play his dad in this, he can't play those people, yes, this should get very interesting considering all the crap he's started. Not that I am going to shove it in his face - not at all - hopefully this will be a learning experience in a good way for him.

Oh, I put in for Elk hunt yesterday before last night's deadline.  Even if I'm living in Texas by then, I could still come back for a hunt and maybe bag one.  Give me a chance to visit with my mom after the marriage - provided that has happened by then.

I also put in to the General Manager to please see if he can find me something out there.  I dunno how long that will take or if there will be anything, but I am hoping and praying cause' it would be great to just do a transfer intra-company and have my same wages and benefits going instead of starting all over again from scratch.

....and time to start looking for the next visit out there.  Gonna have to be shortened unfortunately but that's the way it is.  Looking for the end of March.

ben

Time to start trying to figure things out. How, exactly, is this going to work?
I have no idea.  Some of this I must put in the hands of the good Lord and pray and believe that He will work it out.
Meanwhile, a tenant moved out, quite unexpectedly, last night but paid up his rent until almost halfway through next month.
Strange, to say the least.
Most people that are going to do that - leave without notice - just do it and wait until I am gone to work and are gone by the time I get home.
I am undecided about re-renting the room.  Seems some objection to having all 4 rooms rented out.  The money is nice but not at the expense of losing people.

Meanwhile, m'lady finally made it home.  They had to de-ice the planes last night and that caused quite a backlog of aircraft sitting in Dallas waiting for the deicing agent to be applied so the aircraft can take off.  Meaning she got to Tyler way late and her ride was sitting out there for quite a long time waiting for the arrival of the plane.  The 16 year is going to dump a landmine on her today, I am guessing, in telling her his dad got a lawyer and going to go to court to get him out of the house.

But I prepared her for it in advance so it doesn't take her by surprise.  She knows the gist of what he is going to say and so at least she won't be shocked by it.  The boy wants total freedom  to do whatever he wants and if he ends up at his dad's house, that is exactly what he'll get.  Dad doesn't care what he does, number one, including having sex, and number 2, dad works 12 hour shifts alternating between day and night shift.  So he's gone for 12 hours at a time plus drive time to and from work plus the 15 minute handoff at work between the shifts making it over 13 hours of total, complete freedom for boys to do whatever they please, whenever they please to do it.

In my mind, that is a recipe for disaster.  But whatever.  She is going to fight it.  For the sake of that child, she is going to fight it.  In the end, who knows what will happen, Texas has much different laws about that stuff than what goes on here in Arizona.  A 16 year old could not just leave to go to another parent's house here after a divorce decree and everything has already been worked out.  I mean, the other parent could go back to court, but unlikely a judge would yield unless abuse or something like that going on.  Whatever the case, the boy was perfectly fine to wait until Valentine's Day to see his new girlfriend, but since she left, he has done a complete about-face on it.  This is all the ex's doings.  He has no friends and is replacing people his age for friends with his children.  Not to mention he would like to get some of the child support lowered, but that probably won't happen either, or if it does, it will only go down $100 per month.

Anyway, time to be off to work.

ben

It finally started to hit me.
She is gone.
I am here, she is on an airplane headed to Tyler, Texas.

ben

So, I go and get my lady and take her to the airport.  We plop down in seats right in front of the security checkpoint.  There were no other people sitting in those seats, which were rows of them.  We talked our last moments together, hugged, kissed passionately and then I just sat there and watched her taking her back pack thing and going to the desk, getting out her boarding pass and then, after putting everything away, turned around and waved at me one last time.  I continued to sit there for a  couple of minutes, but finally got up and - then suddenly became aware of eyes on me.  My God, all of those seats were full and we were sitting there in the front, kissing away, lol, oblivious to everything going on around us!

I just smiled, turned around and walked off.

Lots to think about.  Ponder. Plan.  Attempt to try and understand.  Is this really going to work out?  Between her and I, yes.  With her kids and us? I dunno. With the situations going on with older kids that hate this idea and blame their mom for everything negative that goes on in their life: no.  When I say older kids, I mean 20, 19, 17 and 16.  16 believes he is going to have the upper hand and with the help of a lawyer, he will be able to leave and go live with his dad.  I cannot possibly predict the future or what a judge will ultimately say, but with the junk that she has against the ex? Even in writing?  I will simply say 70-30 odds, maybe 60-40 odds that it doesn't go his way.  And she is not going to just let him go.

So who knows.

Meanwhile the home front. Warring neighbors got a pitbull and some other mixed breed.  It has already torn down 2 slats on that portion of wood fence trying to get at my dogs.  I just cannot believe the extremes those people will go to to make life difficult.  I WILL shoot that dog if it gets into my backyard and attacks either any of us or my dogs, that's a fact.  Police can do what they please, I doubt a jury of my peers is going to throw me in prison for defending either humans or animals on my property from a crazed animal that has actually busted through a fence.

Well just got done with long texting conversation with m'lady.  I can text realllll fast online using Google voice and typing with a regular sized keyboard instead of one of those little cell phone keyboards. She is currently on a small plane going from Dallas to Tyler.  They had to de-ice the plane - it's pretty cold there right now.  But, she was hitting the runway and me? WAY past my bedtime!

ben

Well, her visit is nearly over.  I have to go to work tomorrow, what I didn't realize or possible didn't remember I guess is that she isn't leaving on the airplane until 4:50 pm.  Meaning she'll be sitting around all day.  But I had only wanted to take 2 days off for this visit and this due to shrinking amount of available vacation hours.  Hey, if I could translate like Peter I think it was did in the Bible, I would be all over that!  Just poof and you're there!  I could go visit everyday!

Well anyway.  I'm going to take 2 days off on next trip plus a weekend.  I found a flight that leaves right after work on a Wednesday and gets me there late Wednesday night.  Meaning get there, get to her store and sleep, then have 3 full days to visit and one half day.  It's the best I can do.  I simply refuse to let my available vacation hours go below 40.  What am I going to do this summer when it's time to get married or when I need the time to move out there?

So that's the way it is going to have to be.

Meanwhile, the now 16 year old has been avoiding me.  Not normal for him, so I began texting him today - what's going on?  No reply.  Again.  No reply.  I know he's getting my messages.  So the third text was: well, I'm just going to keep bugging you until you say something to me.  I get a text back: " I've been assigned not to talk to you " I got into a short conversation with him about that, basically is this something HE wants or something someone ELSE is telling he has to do?  Cause in reality, mom has full custody of him, no-one can force him not to talk to me except his mother.  He tells me he can't say, I'm sorry.  A few more sentences and I was done. Later on, however, it dawned on me: he must have been advised, not assigned, to not talk to me.

So, his dad went out, got the lawyer and is going to attempt to get custody of him in court.  Thing is?  Dad gave him up!  Didn't want any of those kids.  Mom isn't going to just let him go without a fight, because we know what's going to happen over there. Dad works 12 hour shifts, alternating between night and day shifts.  There is no-one there to stop them from doing whatever the bleep they please including screwing girls and whatever else comes to mind with the current generation.  The boy talks to mom today: mom, we have some serious stuff to talk about when you get home.  Yup, I already know: dad's hired a lawyer.

She's continuing to get dragged down by all of this.  We prayed together today, spend some time before the Lord.  I trust God to have His way in all of this.  Who knows who will win in a court battle, but I give it far greater odds that she will win over him, the ex that is, because of the situation the ex has create with all of this in not wanting his own kids.

But whatever.  I can only pray from here.  I texted the boy back again a few hours later after realizing what was going on, but he is not budging.  Which is okay- to a point.  Mom will talk to him when she gets home.  The 19 year old daughter called her today and they had what sounded like a pleasant conversation.  I dunno.  I try not to read too much into there things, but sometimes I am guilty.  With this one though, she is out of the house, the only reason she  would have false pretenses in calling is to try and dig for information for whatever purpose.  Well have at it.

Regardless, it is my bedtime and I am going to bed.

G'nite.

ben

The neighbors - pieces of work - that live behind me have suddenly acquired 2 dogs.  They deposited those dogs onto the property that does not have a house on it.  Unbeknownst to me until an hour ago, one of them is a pitbull.  The other thing I did not know until an hour ago is that that dog actually busted it's head through 2 of the wood planks on my fence, head sticking through barking at my dogs and trying to get at them.

Mark tells me this nonchalantly as if it were nothing.  WTFreak?  Why didn't you call me?  Why didn't you call the police? He's like, well I didn't want to bother you.  ??? I'm like dude, what if that dog had gotten through the fence? What is going to stop it from eventually carrying out it's mission?  Call the police! It's a pitbull and it's also destruction of my property and a vicious dog! I do NOT like Pitbulls, they have a reputation for a good reason and I can tell you right now, if I had been here when that happened? I would bashed that dog over the head with a club!

I was not so slightly irritated that his answer to the situation was - basically nothing.  Just fix the damage and that's that. How does this address the problem?  This does not bode well, in my thinking, for not selling off this house even if it has to be a short sale versus leaving them in charge. If they can't deal with something that simple, I will need to rethink all of this.  Gonna have to have a serious sit down and talk cause' I will short sale this house before I leave it in the hands of people that are incapable of dealing with the crap that occurs in this neighborhood.

Meanwhile...spent the entire day with m'lady - of course.  We went and had a coffee and frittata at a local coffee shop.

But on the way there? I pull up to a stop light and I notice a truck come cranking over several lanes behind me and the driver of the vehicle throwing his hands up in the air, apparently agitated about something? But I did not cut this truck off, I have NO clue. I pull into the driveway of the strip mall with the coffee shop, this guy goes down the side road and then sees me from a driveway that goes to that street, pulls in there, gets out of his truck and throws his hands up in the air again?!! I'm like, call 911 and get my gun ready? What is the deal with this person. He gets up to my car and I look at him and finally recognize him - a high school buddy that I used to hang out with ALL the time! Hadn't seen him in what?  31 years?  Talked for a while and then got to moving.


After the coffee shop, onto one of today's agendas: she has been wanting to buy me a pair of cowboy boots. Went to the Boot Barn and checked out all the boots there in my size, nothing struck either one of us so the salesman advised us to go to Sheplers.  Why is this salesman advising us to go to a competitor?  He must not make a commission off the sales of boots, apparently.  So, off to Sheplers, which the pastor's wife had recommended we go to anyway.  After looking at and trying on several pairs of boots,  I was down to 2 pair.  But after looking at the price tag of one pair, I said, uhhh, no, that's WAY too expensive!  She didn't care and thought they looked better on me than the other pair I was looking at.

Wow, and nice!  Thank you baby!

We got out to the car and realized it was still too early to go to my mom's place so we went to a place called the Container Store instead.  There isn't one in the area she lives in so we walked around and looked at - everything - in the entire store.  After that I called mom, she said okay, we headed over there.  Spent  over 4 hours visiting with her - she is a good cook and makes the best food - and then headed out yet again after a very good visit.

She wanted to see if she could find the house she lived in when she lived here, in the Phoenix area, decades ago.  We kinda went around in circles but found the place she thought it was.  After that, I figured to take her to the Cheesecake Factory - she alluded to the idea of going there before she even got here so I decided to surprise her with it.

Came back to my house, hung out watching a movie for a couple of hours, talking the entire day about everything under the sun and then took her back to the pastor's house for the night.

Good day with her.  Tomorrow last full day with her.  She leaves Monday at 5 pm on a flight back, but I have to work.  I will take her to the airport after I get off of work, but I cannot take another day off.  I continue to tell her that I cannot just keep taking alot of time off, there will be nothing left and I will have nothing left to deal with that's coming up later on this year: Marriage and moving out to Texas.  She wants me to come out there or her come to me every month, but this simply isn't realistic.  So I told her the next trip I would be taking 2 days off and then add weekend to it and that would be it.

She was obviously not liking that idea but that is all that I can do.  Her coming out her doesn't change the fact that I have to take time off work to spend it with her.  It's only February and I am down to 57 hours left of vacation time.  If I were to go out there next month and take 2 days off, add another 10 hours since I get 10 hours added every month, back up to 67 hours but take off 16 hours for 2 days off and now I am down to 51 hours. So unfortunately, it is going to have to have a couple month lapse in visits.  I just can't keep using up all my vacation time and have nothing left by the middle of summer.  I do have 3 floating holidays and 3 personal days I can take, but that has to be saved for the move out there.

I just don't want to get to Christmastime or whatever and have nothing left or very little.

Well whatever.  It's getting late and I need to get to bed.

ben

Starting to feel sick. Hit me after the prayer meeting was over tonight.  Chest congestion and head aching.  Feeling like s*** basically.  So, taking B and C vitamins - lots of C - and Mucinex to try and head this off at the pass.

The never-ending story with my lady, her ex and the boys.  Really, this goes on on a daily basis.  The ex sends her a text message telling her how happy he is that she is now engaged to "Ben" and wishes us a good life together????  Just as I recognize when my ex is saying something that is loaded with -whatever it is loaded with even though others don't see anything at all bad about something, so does my lady with this kin of message from ex.

She shows me the text and asks me what I think about it?  I think I would like to have a conversation with that man, that's what I mean. No, not violence or raised voices, just a man-to-man talk. If that is even possible with this dude.  I will say one thing: his days of saying all kinds of BS to her on the phone or in text messages are numbered.  I won't tolerate it.  She can hand the phone to me and I will reply to this dude.

Regardless and onto the now 16-year old - he turned 16 on the 4th.  He was completely and totally depressed tonight.  I contacted him and he's getting cranky about why I didn't tell him that I had proposed to his mom?  Uhh, dude, it was at 11 o'clock last night.  You were in bed, sleeping because you have to get up for school.  I woke up late this morning, you were already in school before I could send you a message.  Well, mom could have told me last night!  Dude! You KNEW I was going to propose to her!  I'm sorry!

It's cool was his reply but the real thing that was bugging him came out after that.  His girlfriend.  She couldn't see him for his birthday - on the 4th and he couldn't see her for her birthday which is today, the 6th.  But he knew he wouldn't be able to and was okay with seeing her on Valentine's day.  This is one of his statements: "Shit gonna hit the fan is what I'm telling you. Its gonna get messy" He's telling me his dad is hiring a lawyer and that he has talked to a "lot" of government "people" that are telling him he can get out of his mom's house and into dad's house.  There is ONLY one reason he wants to do this: so he can have unlimited access to this girl that is 14 years old, he is 16.  This is all about pure lust and there is ONLY the element of trouble that can be attached to this situation.

Does someone want to weigh in on the idea of a 30 something year old woman telling this 16 year old boy that his mom's problem is that she needs to get laid?  This is the kind of s*** that both the ex and that girl's parents are filling this boy's head with.  I had this kid all good with the current situation and that if he's good, by Valentine's day, he can visit with her.  But 10 seconds with that ex and the next thing you know, he is all depressed, thinking about cutting himself again and listening to this "father" - term used very loosely in this man's case - filling this boy's head with shit.  Dad qualifies for an 80k loan - please tell me what kind of neighborhood you are going to be living in that has 80k housing.

I couldn't talk to the boy, he wasn't going to listen so I just let it go for the time being.  This situation with this boy needs to come to a conclusion and apparently the only way that is going to happen is through the courts. But really, this will only deal with the legal aspects and apparently the ex has no clue, there is much damning evidence against him, including vulgar text messages sent to m'lady about one of the kids and other explicit, reprehensible texts that she has saved

I will not be able to bite my tongue forever with this man.  Some of the things he says to her?  Totally pisses me off.   Treats that lady like a pile of dogshit.  I am soooo sick of his bs.  She is becoming less opposed to the idea of my talking with him, especially now that we are engaged to be married.

I will have my hands full.  If the 16 year old is even still living there when I get there - who knows how that is going to turn out though I doubt the courts are going to change the current status with his living situation - he will be a lot to deal with all by himself. But the 14 year old? Equally as difficult but with different issues.

Whatever the case, I am exhausted and I need to get to bed.

ben

I am up at my mom's property up in the mountains.

I had one agenda bringing her up here, my lady that is.

To be completely alone with her an entire day.

No kids, no adults, no intrusions from the outside world.  

Once here though, I forgot the combo for the combination lock on the gate~!

But it eventually came back to me and then....I had to replace the electrical outlet

for the power to my trailer.  It was cutting out last time up here and this time 

started doing the same thing as soon as I plugged it in, so I just go out there 

and replaced it.

I helped that it is cold up here.  Why? Perfect snuggling weather.

We spent the entire day cuddled up together, watched a couple of movies,

ate dinner, watched another movie but after that?   We just cuddled in silence

and basked in the warmth and glow of each other's love.  We talked at great 

length today before that point, I had some things I needed to be clear about.

And at the end of all of that?  I don't know why it was so hard, but it took me

all day to get up the courage to get up, pull the ring out of the closet I had it hiding in

and asked her to marry me.

She said yes.

It's very late by my standards - 11pm - I am going to bed.

Goodnite world.

ben

I'm 50 years old today! Wooohhooooo!!! ????.......okay then!
My lady's in the air, heading this way - and I gotta go to work, gag.  Oh well, I knew that was going to happen, not the end of the world.  At least there is something to do in the truck routing system.
Hmmmm, I wonder what this day has in store!
lol.
g'day

ben

Superbowl - gag.  Worst I've seen in decades.
Going to be an interesting week.
2 days from now, I turn 50. Same said day my lady shows up.  My uncle is in the hospital in a coma, they are thinking of pulling the plug - he had a stroke early last week and it's pretty much  a grim prognosis.  JD - the kid that has been coming over to my house since he was 12 years old - left me a note last night saying he just turned 21 and could he please have a birthday present.  lol  I usually give him a $20. My lady's 15 year - yes the one I have been dealing with  - turns 16 tomorrow and I have a 4 day weekend this week.  Plus going up to the mountains. And whatever else may happen!

So yes, interesting week.  Oh, that doesn't include the couple that is moving in today!  I need to start saving up for a potential move later on this year to Texas.  I haven't made a final decision on that one yet.  I'm still weighing this whole situation.  Those kids are a handful. Just one of them is a handful.  The 14 year old is, in reality, as bad at the 15 year old.  I will never be able to say I didn't know what I was getting into.  But I could still get on here and rant about the stuff going on!

So yeah. Praying, seeking the Lord - what is His will on all of this? What is the next step, if there even is one?  Where do I go with this? Cause pretty much? You pop the question and it's a done deal. Sure, you can get out of it, but not without causing people a lot of heartache and grief.  Kinda like aiming a gun at someone, once you propose, you are all in!  It would be a very big step in my life to marry her since she lives in Texas and would have to uproot and move over there.  I've given it more thought and consideration than anyone could ever imagine.

Well, it's Monday, at work, nothing to do really but gotta get the store up and going.

G'day.
ben

This is gonna be a short one since I wrote up pretty long one earlier today. I mean, I watched the Boredom Bowl until the 4th quarter and gave up on it.  Pathetic game. IMO, worst thing you can do is have the ultimate football game be a total blowout.

Moving on.  I left off the last entry that the boy was going to contact me, and that he did.  3-1/2 hours of it.  It drained me.  I mean, I told him how I felt, I let him have it, I poured my heart out to him I was kind and not so kind at some points - a whole plethora of emotion and spanning the realm.  I dunno I might go into more depth of this conversation with him tomorrow, but right now? I am exhausted!  Besides talking to my lady, I have been talking with a very intense, smart (yet dumb) 15 year old boy for hours.

The end result?  He said was going to straighten up.

And that's enough for now.  I am something of a mentor to him but with friendship tendencies and I try to hear him out while at the same time serving up doses of truth.

This day is over for me. 3 more days and it's my birthday and she is showing up.  I have a 4 day weekend coming up!  Yes!

G'nite.

ben

Well, 2 of m'lady's cows have dropped calves!  With another one looking like she's ready to drop and hopefully 3 or 4 more after that!  It's the time of year for cows to drop calves.  Which I find very odd since many of the places that have cows are in freezing, bitter cold this time of year. But, God created them he musta known what he was doing.

Meanwhile, if you had thought all hell had already broken loose over there, well, it got 1,000 times worse last night.  This is all about the 15 year old, whose hormones have exploded, has found a girlfriend and has entered the complete and total rebellion stage because of this girl and m'lady's attempts to keep it from getting too carried away.  I mean, the girl is only 13 years old and the 15 year old turns 16 in 2 days.

Well anyway, leading up to this situation last night is that girl's parents lack of morals/ethics and basically telling her lies about what is going on over there when 15 year is visiting.  He's been over there 3 times now, I think.  She doesn't want him kissing a 13 year old girl and I have to agree with that assessment, but that girl's parents don't care one bit.

I'ma skip a lot of stuff because otherwise? This entry will go on for 50 paragraphs and I neither have the time nor the gumption to do that right now.  Just isn't necessary to go into all of that anyway,  you get the jist of the situation: boy in love with girl; boy not listening to mom; boy's head getting filled with a bunch of crap from both that girl's parents and m'lady's ex concerning m'lady.

So here we go. 15 year old is saying she is ruining his life.  This because she is putting quite reasonable restraints on him with girl but still allowing him to go over there anyway.  15 year old says he wants complete freedom to do whatever he wants whenever he wants to.  I do believe a good portion of parents would find that laughable, much less acceptable.  But, his attitude since this all started has gone to rotten, evil and wicked in a quick hurry.  I mean, EVIL.  Making indeterminate threats against her to do something evil.

So, on Friday, after having this discussion all this week, it's determined that he can have her over to m'lady's house on Saturday.  He wanted to go over there and was demanding that he be allowed to go.  I thought it was very giving of my lady that she even was going to allow them to be together at all after all the crap he has given her this week about it.  Well, Friday afternoon, going to the bank and boy is in the vehicle, he starts cussing at her and also slapping the 6 year old girl on the head.  She had already been hearing dose after dose of crap from him all day long about going to the girl's house on Saturday, she had had enough.  Told him to get out of the car.  Yup, right there, but only half a mile from ex's apartment.  You can go to your dad's, bye!  Time passes, come to find out that the parents of the girl are coming to pick him up on Saturday, even AFTER she had told them he is NOT to go over there this weekend!

My lady calls up the mom, who says, ohhh, I'm sorry, I didn't remember saying that yesterday.  ??? Seriously?  She claims she is on some heart medicine and it causes her to forget things.  Gag.  So then, my lady is telling her after it gets deep into a pile of s*** that she will never trust her again, on and on.  Okay.  So boy is over there all day, texts mom that he can do whatever he wants because he was with dad and dad said it was okay.  Just pure, sh**** attitude.  She texts her mom asking for husband's phone number so she can talk to him about this.

Let's fast forward.  Ex brings boy home last night.  Boy comes in and demands to be allowed to go over to girl's house whenever h wants and also that m'lady MUST pay for his cellphone.  A little foggy what actually happened, but ex had already discussed with boy about him living over there - without saying anything to m'lady  and he says fine, I'm going to live with dad!  Ex was waiting out there for over 20 minutes, unknown to m'lady, waiting for him to come out and take him to his new home.  Let me pause here and say that his house? is a one bedroom apartment.  He already has the 17 year old living over there. The 17 year old and 15 year do not get along together, they get into fist fights.

So, she tells me all of this after the fact.  I kinda lost it, I do admit.  Why on earth are you bowing to that man and his threats? YOU have legal custody of that boy!  I got pushy with her: you have already lost 3 and now you are going to lose a minor.  You are going to end up losing all of them!  Well, she  got all the kids, got into the van, drove over there. I told her to be ready to dial 911.  And sure enough, she had to.  The boy actually twisted her arm in trying to get the phone out of her hand, which he did!  This while the ex stood there and did NOTHING to stop that boy's abuse towards her!

Police came, told ex he was going to get into a lot of trouble if he was going to try to force this issue, better force him to go home, if you want to take her to court to get custody, that's your option.  So, this guy has the audacity to say well she dropped him off a long way away from here and I didn't know where he was at!  He doesn't even care, just throwing that in there.  M'lady looks at the cops, yeah after he started cussing me out in my car and verbally abusing me and all the rest of it!  The cops look her square in the eye, tell her: "If you have any problems with that child tonight, you call us and we'll come out and take him".

Fast forward.  He's in a rampage at home.  Blah blah blahh.  Threats and all the rest of it.  Just not going to go into all of that boy's endless ramblings and garbage.  This kid contacts me last night on Facebook and says: Your girlfriend is a liar and a hypocrite.

I was infuriated but I refrained.  I told him he was angry and upset, we can talk when he calms down, that was that.  Fast forward to this morning.  He and 14 year old decide they are not going to go to church.  She says fine, you can stay outside in the cold and rain while we are gone.  She goes to church, calls ATT and has his phone shut off.  Yup, good thing, the people he is talking to are filling his mind with evil.  She gets home from church.  They found an unlocked window, they were inside when she got there. He demands his phone be turned on.  She refuses, and also, she had already told him the relationship with the girl is cut off.

He says well, okay then, since you aren't going to turn my phone on, you aren't going to get your laptop back!  I'm telling you, this kid!  She says what?  This laptop has all over her programming stuff on it for the companies she does programming for.  She just looked at him and said: I'll give you 5 seconds to get me my laptop or I'm calling the police.  He called her bluff? Yeah, she got her cellphone out and started dialing 911.  Okay, okay!!  Life is going to get very difficult for that boy now.  He told her yesterday to "get out of my life!".  Hurtful thing to say to your own mom.

Anyway.  Now Sunday afternoon.  Went to church this morning, awesome service! Got out and called her.  She was telling me all that had transpired all the way up til' - now - actually.  She is turning the phone back on long enough for him to - contact me.  No, I didn't ask, he asked her to please let him speak to me via text.  He is not  going to hear what he wants to hear from me.  He has abused my girlfriend verbally and even twisting her arm yesterday, I am sick of it.  I have tried to be nice but yet firm with him all this time, but enough is enough.  If he really does contact me, he probably won't want to hear from me again because I am going to hammer him for the abusive treatment he has given her.

.......and if he's gong to contact me, better be soon! I want to watch the Superbowl and I want to get a short nap in in between this conversation and before the kickoff!

G'day.

ben


















;

Friday!  Tired! lol.  Didn't sleep too well last night and now? I will pay for it at work.
Busy weekend in store.
Clean, clean, clean.
Scrub out and vacuum the inside of the car, my room, bathroom living room, etc.
Actually, it's all pretty good right except the car!
Never-the-less, I told her to not expect to see me on FB so much this weekend as I prepare for her arrival this coming week, Wednesday to be precise.

George and Susan have birthday dinner planned for me and her as well.  She says she doesn't care what we do, but she's going to be hanging all over me looking for attention, lol.  Okay!

I don't have much to say this morning.  Just putting out a few words.  End of month. Tomorrow, the "temporary" tenant is leaving and on the third, the new ones are moving in.  Supposedly.  I never call those things done deal until they are - done deals, ie: they've handed me the money.  After that, I don't care if they move in or not! I got the money!

Well, gotta prepare myself for this weekend.  Can't really think of everything right now, my head a bit cloudy from not getting enough sleep.  Oh well! Last day my Starbuck's mug works for free lattes, will take advantage of it!

G'day.

ben

Definitely going to drag her up to the mountains to the property and we will spend at least one night there.  Maybe 2.  It's so beautiful and peaceful up there.  Maybe a bit cold at this time of year but there are heaters in the trailers and a pit to build a nice fire :)  I haven't built too many fires up there in the past because - I - was - alone.  I mean, I can entertain myself to a point.  Now that I think about it, it seems the world revolves around couples, married or otherwise.  If you don't have a mate to talk with the other guy's mate......well that is a side benefit, maybe, in the future.  

So yeah.  I'm still trying to find a ring, definitely plan on popping the question!  Maybe up there! Though in this electronic age, it would be cool to get it on video.  

I decided today to contact her 17 year old.  He's gone, out of the house, done, living with the ex, who knows how that will go.  But it wasn't anything preachy.  Just want to keep in contact with him. If this all works out I want him to feel comfortable with me and maybe he'll even come back home.  Or not, don't know.  But I feel the need to reach out. So, I was heartened to get some replies and have a conversation.

Meanwhile, the 15 year old, in his overwhelming desire to be with his girl, lied to me today and was attempting to get me to get his mom to relent, change her mind about him going over there this weekend and do what he wants.  After talking with him and then her, and then eventually finding out about his lies.  I had a few words for him.  No, I didn't bash him.  I just told him trust is earned and easy to lose.  That it hurts to have a person you know and/or love lie to you and make up stories.  Stuff like that. He apologized = sort of - but I wasn't done with what I was trying to convey to him.  

Well the 4th apology from him was desperate in nature. Like he felt like I was rejecting and abandoning him, which wasn't my intent at all, so I changed course with it.  Time to let it go and I did, but still attempting to teach him how words can hurt people.  

Anyway, it's my bed time, I am dead tired.  Lady is just soo much looking forward to coming and yes, I am sooo much looking forward to her visit! Yes!

ben

So, her ex is allegedly coming today to pick up the 17 year old and he is moving in with dad. Good luck! She had all of those boys sign a contract awhile back: you leave, you cannot come back for 3 months.  THe rest of it is: you can leave at anytime, I am not holding you here.   I'll be more than just a little curious to see how all of this plays out.  He will not have a car to drive, I have no idea how he figures he's going to get to school or work.  Well actually I do, he has a savings account that mom has control of and she is giving him all of that money.  It will be enough to buy an economy car.

But not my problem, either.  So the 4th room is rented out.  I regretted doing it after I told them I would.  Not that I couldn't tell them no, now, but whatever. It's more money I can deal with it - for a while.  They are nice people, anyway, a couple, seem to be nice I should say but had a conversation with them that indicated to me that they shouldn't be a problem - of if they are, nothing major.  I posted that ad for room rental but now you can put your phone number on there, so I did and then forgot about it.  These people called me on Saturday when I was out and about and it just took me off guard.

The problem is too many people in the house.  Just too much walking in and out as it is, plus the load on the bathroom, I am going to have to give people access to my bathroom to help handle the load.  I don't really care about that, either, I just don't want to make existing tenants unhappy with having too many people in here.  But, I've pulled the trigger and let the chips fall where they may.  I may go ahead and see if George and his gf want my bedroom - more money per month though - but it would give them space and privacy they are looking for. Their current bedroom is huge, just doesn't have it's own bathroom.

Whatever the case, the countdown goes on.  She'll be here on Wednesday, my birthday.  Superbowl this weekend.  I forgot that I have a Standing Rib Roast sitting in my freezer! I bought it before I went to m'lady's house, stuck it in the freezer and forgot about it! I think I'll cook that sucker while she's here!

G'day.

ben

Countdown to her arrival: 8 days.
Meanwhile, getting things tidied up around here.
And, meanwhile, listening to the ranting of a 15 year old boy proclaiming his disdain for his mom's insistence the he cannot yet kiss his girlfriend and inappropriate touching is also out the window.

That was yesterday. She contacts me via FB informing me that he is pissed at her and the he thinks I will take his side and that he is going to be texting me.  And so it began, 15 minute later with the following text message, sent from boy:  " I'm tired of this shit ".  


This was in reference to mom's dictatorial that such was going to be with that girl and if not, she would cut it off.  So, the boy starts talking about moving out.  To where, I ask, dad's?  No car.  No huge property to ride your dirt bike around.  How are you going to get to school?  He works night shift.  "She can't run my life like she thinks she can I'm 16 almost i can make my own decisions" I hate to sound like I am mocking the boy, but that got me to laughing.

Another quote from the boy: "I'm not moving out she needs me and she knows it". This is the way this conversation went for a little bit until I had enough of it and started digging in.  Though his statement is true, she does need him around there, he's the only one that will do all the work outside with the cows and fixing fence lines to keep the cows in and all the rest of it.  I certainly wasn't going to dignify that statement with a ohhhh, yes, she reallllly needs you.  

I got into his business.  And then I told this boy that if I move out there and become a part of that family, he'll think her intrusions were a cake walk compared to me.  Not only that, but I will ask her to hand over all decision making concerning the older ones to me - she can't deal with them, they are too much for her to handle.  Too many of them and they "attack" her at times all at once.  Size matters as well in this case, she is a small, petite woman, I am 205 pounds standing 6'2" tall and veritably loom over all over those teenage boys.

This went on for 2 hours.  Why "waste" that much time with him? .....though I don't consider it a waste of time, I just know how lots of people think, especially when dealing with other people's kids.  The answer to that question, however, is because no-one else will.  Mom, yes, but no adult male figures are any part of those boys' lives.  Their dad is MIA.  He only showed up for the fun part at the beginning after that he is missing.  He wants nothing to do with them.  He refuses to take them even when it's his court-agreed time to take them. When he does finally take them, it's for a very short period of time, stuffs them in front of a TV, rents movies and that's his involvement with them.

So yes, especially if they contact me first, I will invest the time into them to try and help them understand what life is really about versus the contorted thinking that they get from their dad.  REALLY contorted thinking.  Though some of their thinking can just be attributed to the way teenagers see things versus the way things really are.  The 17 year old is intent on moving in with his dad, but dad, after initially accepting, is giving my lady a time on the phone about it: he really doesn't want him over there.  Shocking surprise. She doesn't think it's going to happen, he will back out of it and tell the boy no, he can't move in.  We'll see, the kid wants to move out on Friday.  She took the car keys and the house keys away from him.  He can't drive anywhere and if he's not home by whatever time she declares, he's locked out.

I kinda helped  her with that, lol.  That kid is so incredibly disrespectful to her.  I give the 15 year old much more hope than the 17 year old.  I contacted the 15 year old after all the heavy stuff over and lightened up a bit and his factual statement was: dude don't worry (I wasn't just his personality) and then: we are good.  So, cool that cause' I was digging into his nerves last night.

As for m'lady, well, she just sat on the sidelines, not that we weren't talking but sat the same time she likes the fact that I am taking a personal interest in all of them.  I got lots to do in the next 7 days and best be getting to it.  I also am awaiting to find out whether or not I get the Safe Driver Award bonus.  I mean, by this time in the month, they usually have that list out -- they send out a list every month of who is getting it nationwide with their names and the amount of time they have spent with the company.  I would REALLY like to get that bonus, that would help things out immensely right now.

Well, time to be off to work.

G'day.

ben

Something must have changed about my appearance?  Or maybe I just haven't been noticing?  Or what?  I was standing at a Starbuck's earlier - my lady got me that cup that has free refills for the entire month of January and yes, I have taken quite the advantage of it! - and felt eyes on me.  I din't recognize I felt the eyes, I just looked up in the direction of the person and there was the lady sitting in a chair, staring at me with a smile on her face.  We locked eyes for a moment and the she looked away.  She was with another guy.

Several times in recent times I have been catching ladies looking at me.  I don't find that abnormal, at all, but I just either haven't been noticing it or whatever about my appearance or - something - has changed.  I am smiling more, lol, I know that for a fact and I am doing that regardless of anyone around or not! Okay! I was  just tickled me that this lady was looking at me so intently until I caught her off guard and locked eyes with her.

She is looking forward to her visit here, even though in the last couple days it's been pretty rough.  I mean, really rough.  I can't wait to show her a good time, a true vacation, away from all those kids and especially the ones mouthing off to her and dropping the f bombs, using the rest of the cusswords in the spectrum, refusing to do anything she tells them to do and basically the shittiest attitude you could possibly think of, that's what goes on.

The 17 year old is so far off in his thinking, I can't imagine WHAT is going to happen to him after he leaves the house.  He has NO clue how good he has it and is totally unappreciative of everything she does for him.  He declared today that he's moving out.  Great, I said to her, let him go!  He needs to learn and obviously that ain't gonna happen at your house! He's out for a week and he's gonna find out just how hard it is.  No car, no job, no money.  He posted on his Facebook wall that he needs a place to stay and will also need a ride to school.  Please.  I do NOT take pleasure in another person's calamity, as the bible puts, not at all.  I just fear that even thoughts of suicide and ending it will occur because he is so totally unprepared, mentally, for what's going to come at him.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sorry folks!  I just find myself getting caught up in another life that is 1,200 miles away! I forget to finish entries, I must have a dozen drafts sitting in there that I haven't posted!

Let's get into yesterday! Cause it was crazy!

She is at her store, she calls the 17 year old up to get out of bed and bring the pickup down to the store and empty the trash.  They put the trash in that back of it and haul it to the store instead of paying for waste service at their house.  He gets there and starts getting into it with her yet again about the same old things: you should be doing this, you don't buy enough milk, yada yada yada.  She says whatever and he throws the keys to the gate at her, tells her to f*** off and then gets in the truck -which is hers, not his - and goes home!

When he gets home, he posts on his Facebook wall that he's moving and needs a place to stay and oh, btw, I will need a ride to school!  It was shortly after that that I was talking to her on the phone and she was asking my advice.  He crossed the line! He wants to leave!  Yet, he has nowhere to go so he's still at home.  it's time to lay down the law! No more cussing, no more foulness with you, shut up and leave!  NO MORE!  He quit his job, he doesn't have any money, was demanding $40 from her which she refused to give him.  She took the car keys away from him - not his car either that he drives, that's also hers - and gave him the law.  If you can't talk to me nice, don't talk to me at all!  That was my suggestion - stern suggestion though - she has tolerated more than enough from a kid that is about to turn 18, screw that!  That boy can just shut his da** mouth!  If he doesn't, kick his @$$ out. You don't need that in your home! So that's where that stands, for now.  Do NOT back off and stick to your guns!

Next, the 15 year old.  He goes on this date with a 13 year old girl.  The girl's mother picks him up and they are off doing whatever the entire day.  He's texting me here and there - I dunno, we have something of a relationship going where we talk about things and he even asks for advice - and then he bids me a goodbye.  No biggies there, but I was talking with my lady all day long yesterday and then at around 8, I asked when the 15 year old was coming home?  Ding ding ding!  I didn't know that he had told her he would be home no later than 5!  We got so completely wrapped up in talking about the 17 year old and what to do with him that the 15 year old totally slipped her mind.  Well I am not there, I thought he might be home, but didn't know for sure, hence I asked.

So she tries to text him.  No answer. Ooops!  I'm thinking, what is with the mom of this girl that she doesn't keep in touch with 15's mom? Especially having him all day long - no communication whatsoever.  My lady has so much going on and dealing with that 17 year old, things slip her mind.  So she forgot to save the other mom's phone number.  She then finds a text in her phone from a phone number she doesn't recognize, it's the girl's phone (does everyone on earth have an Iphone? even kids? Cause I don't have one!).  it wasn't asking if he could stay longer, it was telling her he was staying longer to watch a movie with them!  I have become my lady's advice/suggestion factory.  She asks,, I tell her.  I was ALL over my son at that age!  Texting him, driving around to find him and surprise visits, got my inspiration from the movie Uncle Buck - funny movie but a couple of good ideas in there, really, on keeping track of your teenage kids.

It rang with me: yes, I will just make sure he calls me every hour on the hour and I will know where he is going and yes, I will show up sometimes to let him have the idea that he isn't going to get away with much of anything!  That's how I raised my boy.  Back to this 15 year old.  If there is one thing that is certain, that boy KNOWS not to mess with momma on communication.  She gets back on with him and frankly tells him not to push her or this whole thing is going to be cut off.  Oops.  Boy is in "love", he doesn't want that.  I was talking to my lady, like what on earth is this woman thinking? The other mom that is?  Your son has been over there almost 11 hours, hon, it's time for him to come home, screw the movie! Don't text them, CALL that number and ask to speak to the mom!  Do you think that woman would like it if the situation was reversed? I'l tell you what, dear, if it were me, I would have driven over there, showed up on their doorstep, smiled at them and said, yup, it's time for my boy to come home.  THAT would get the message across pretty plain and clear!  And yes, that is exactly what I would have done!

Turns out the boy's phone allegedly isn't working over there, bad reception.  Is that a valid excuse? NO!  Well I dunno what my lady said to them but they were out of there and heading back in a hurry!  Come in the door, they all said they were sorry. If there is one person that should be saying they're sorry, it's that mom!  So then, m'lady shows the mom a pic of me and she's like, wow, he's hot!  LOL!!!  Then come to find out the 15 year was talking about me to them while they were over there.  Okay,  I get it finally, the kid obviously thinks highly of me.  I don't say that in vain or think I'm anything great, but I have spent ample amounts of time helping this kid to think things through, a thing he hasn't exactly mastered yet.  He posted something on his FB wall the other day out of extreme anger, I contacted him and we had a rather long discussion.  I mean, threatening another kid on FB not a good idea.  The school he goes to will boot any kids that get into fights, period. Strict policy and they will boot them even if the fight doesn't happen on school grounds.  So, trying to get the boy to think:  Umm, dude, you haven't read about schools that boot students for some of the stuff they have posted on their FB wall? Employers firing employees for same such?  Next thing I know, he says he deleted, and thanks man.

Well anyway.  My suggestions: 6 hours max date.  Next date at your house,not hers.  Text every hour on next date over there.  CALL and ASK permission if something changes.  Next date is going to be at m'lady's house and yes, she will be all over them, it will be totally supervised and that will be that.

Now then.  Countdown to her visit.  Still haven't found a ring! Well I did, but I decided better to wait until the first and get some tenant money in.  Yes, I am seriously zeroing in on the decision to ask her to marry me.  But, I just still have thing in my head: wait until after next visit, no kids around, spend some quality time together, let's make sure that this is right for both of us.  So that's really the only thing holding me back right now.  How do we do without kids around? Okay, we had plenty of time without kids around on both of my trips out there, but on this trip, there ARE no kids to interfere.  Yes, they may text her asking her stuff - like she imposed a rule while she's gone: the kids are to go NOWHERE. Well, to school yes but otherwise nothing else.  In other words, they are prolly going to be texting her: can we PLEASE go here or there? Or, what are you two doing?  Or, did he propose to you yet? LOL.

Enough for one entry!

ben

Dear Fin:
I suspect it will actually be a good birthday for me as well.  My lady will be here, George is making us dinner at his urging and George and Susan are good company.  I will be with my lady alone, no kids.  Even if we go NO WHERE on day 1, that is all good with me.  I will plan on whatever for the next day.  A road trip around the state would be cool.  A trip to the Grand Canyon or other such places that we have in our state would be nice as well. We are definitely going to go to my mom's property and spend some time up there.  It's colder up there so snuggling is even nicer : )

______________________________________________________

Meanwhile, I finally figured the 17 year old out.  Umm, no, not really, but I came to the understanding of some of his issues so, the shy person that I am and concerned about people and wondering where their lives are going, especially teenagers who are somewhat clueless, I started texting him a series of questions.  Yup, mom gave me his phone number a while back, I have texted him before and nothing terribly ill coming from him but not abusing it either.

This went on for quite a while, hours actually. I finally got an understanding of where he is coming from. I am not going to go into details, this is the worldwide web,  don't feel comfortable talking about some of the intimate details of another person's problems here, so I will leave it at that.

I also talked to the 15 year old at great length today - he was getting into some things as well.  This isn't anything evil or against the law or whatever, just personal issues and that, as well, will stay off the WWW.  It is interesting that they are talking to me so freely, though.

________________________________________________________

Thursday morning.  Still contemplating this whole situation.

But I need to turn that off for a while.  Got a busy day at work - finally! - and will keep me trucking all over the place, should be all the way up until quitting time.  I kinda need to give my brain a rest on all this analyzation (I had to look that word up on spelling cause spell check says it's wrong!) and just give it a rest for a day.  Yeah right, good luck to me on that one!  Especially when I start getting messages from any of over half a dozen kids!

Enough.  I don't really feel like writing much this morning.

ben

Tuesday.
Long, boring day at work. Did not get anything to do until around 12:45 pm and that was a very small and short-lived delivery to a job site not far from our branch.  It is a bit disconcerting to see us going through this again - the entire region is going through the same thing.  In the past, that meant layoffs/pink slips.  They've hired a bunch of new people - but fortunately none of them are drivers and there are only 3 of us - 2 from the main branch and me from the East Valley branch - that have been there a long time and we know what we are doing. That doesn't make any of us non-expendable, but it is hopefully at least a bit helpful.

As for the misses and I, just biding our time until she comes out here.  I am hopeful for a good ending to this 3rd visit with each other.  But who knows.  She is coming on my birthday which also happens to be my 50th birthday.  I didn't have too big a problem hitting 40, but hitting 50?  Not really like that at all.  I know, it's not that bad, whatever, it is for me, at least for now.  I'll get over it but going out and having a fun time not really anything I was looking forward to doing, but she is insisting that we go do something.  This is a brace-myself moment for me, not the part being with her but yes, hitting the big 5-0.

2:00 am.  Black Dane.  Gets up out of bed running to the door, I wake up instantly, turn on the light and there he is, s****** all over the place while walking around.  Piss me off.  That dog doesn't even try to wake me up.  Threw his @$$ out, cleaned up and extensive amount of mess and left him out for the rest of the night and day.  Can't believe that dog.  Every other dog will wake me up, come stick their muzzle in my face, but noooooo, not Prince.  Just get up and start crapping everywhere.  He does it again and his days sleeping in my bedroom are done.  He even has his own bed, for crying out loud.  Whatever.  Just a very rude awakening to that site and smell at that hour of the night.

Her kids.  Have talked at great length to the 15 and 17 year old - yes, even more than what I last reported.  But the 17 year old is living in some sort of unrealistic dream world.  I'm not going to sit here and bash the boy, he is a product of his upbringing.  A lack of a dad's involvement and even a cold shoulder from his dad at this point.  He is, simply put, not ready for the real world and if his attitude towards his mother continues the way it's been going, he is in for a rude awakening.  If he were to be put out on the streets right now, he would probably not make it.  I both feel for him and wonder about his attitude at the same time. And all that he believes........

The 15 year old goes back and forth between obedience and doing what he is told and disobedience and either mouthing off or simply ignoring her altogether.  Not really going to go into the details, he's actually a good kid but has some anger issues.  Well they're both good kids, IMO they have potential just need some strong guidance to steer them in the right direction.  They absolutely to not get that guidance from their dad, at least from what I can see and hear.

Whatever the case, I spend quantitative amounts of time thinking about actually moving out there and living out there versus what I am doing right now.  At times, I think, what am I thinking about doing here?  Going to live with a lady that has all these rebellious teenagers?  Why would I want to subject myself to that?!!  Then I think about my 2, week-long visits there and consider that they did not act out when I was there.  But I know teenagers.  I may be a LOT bigger than them, but teenagers tend to push the limits.  Go as far as they can and see what happens.  Are you going to cave, are you going to be able to deal with it, what?  I'd have to live with all of this, therefore, yes, I need to give it serious consideration and thought.

Not shying away, but count the costs, as the Bible puts it in Luke 14:28 puts it, though that is concerning counting the costs of becoming a disciple of Christ.  Still, I won't just blindly jump into this and not give serious consideration to what I am leaving behind and what I am walking into.  A house that needs a great deal of attention and repairs, a property that is beautiful but also needs some attention, kids that have lost their way.  Beautiful lady though, : ).  Moving to a place where I know absolutely no-one, having to start all over again in a different church (and from what I am seeing of the church she is going to, I don't much care for it), etc etc etc.  It's a lot to take in.

Susan came out a while back and gave me a look and said she wrote down on a piece of paper when she moved out here from California the pro's and the con's and gave me the suggestion that I do the same, so that is what I have been doing.

As for today, I am tired.  That dog doing that in the middle of the night. It's not like you can just turn over and go back to sleep.  The smell is obnoxious, you have no choice but to get up and deal with it, including getting out the carpet cleaning machine and clean the carpet - and clean it well.

Enough.  She has been busy all day and we haven't had chance to talk that much. Her insurance agent should be leaving soon and then we can spend some time talking!

ben

Saturday morning.
Have to replace front brakes and one of the rotors today, plus a list of things I want to get done around the house.  So talking with her all morning long not helpful in doing anything! We both had to force ourselves to say bye for now and get going with the day.

ALL of her boys were giving her hell last night, though.  It's one thing when one of them is going haywire, it's totally different when all 5 off them have gone off the deep end and whining, yelling, dropping f bombs, slamming things around, etc. etc. etc.  Very little I can do from here except seek the Lord and talk to those boys whenever they feel open to talk about it, which seems to go in cycles.  And right now, the 15 year old isn't talking and is angry.  But I've pretty much got him nailed: hormones, girls on his mind, not liking restriction of freedoms but won't do anything around the house, either.  He flat refuses at this point to do anything at all.

The 17 year old I am talking with - at his pace.  He flat out told me in message that he only has ONE friend, that's his girlfriend and he doesn't know how to start relationships/build friendships with anyone.  For some people that is easier than for others, that's a fact.  He told me that at previous school - it was a private school - that the seniors were all making fun of him the entire time he was there, told me he didn't have the guts to stand up to them  and that he pretty much closed himself down at that point.  His dad told him HE (and rest of the kids) are the reason they got divorced and blames him for it!  Can you believe that?!! What kind of father would tell his kids that?  But the dad is the most messed up one of them all.  Goes and lives in a 1 bedroom apartment and gets a car that can only hold a few of the kids so he doesn't have to deal with them.

This has taken literally months to even get a conversation going with this kid.  I'm not pushy, I just let things go at their own pace and whatever happens, I pray about it and give it up to the Lord.  When I was at Encounter group last night - intense prayer meeting that is held on some Fridays of the month - I heard a word from the Lord and had a vision about this kid and yes, when I got home, I told him I received something for him and did he want to hear/read it?  Yes he did but by that time the "all hell broke loose" scenario had already taken place and mom was mad and had shut off the wifi.  I asked if she would turn it back on at least for a few minutes so I could send it to him and then she can turn it back off.

Ummm, pause in that one.  15 year old just texted me that "mom is calling the cops so you better talk some freaking sense into her". That kid won't get anywhere with me talking to me like that.  He's just full of anger and resentment and I have yet to find out WHY he is so angry.

Well that started off a slew of text messages between him and I.  I have little sympathy for a 15 year old boy that is mouthing off to his mother and getting extremely angry.  But I am trying to talk to him in such a way as he will receive what I am saying without just blowing me off and then not really getting any good input from anyone.  An hour of that since this started and I am done with it.  I can't spend my entire day dealing with these boys, at least not from here.  There, different story.

Anyway, back to other story, I sent the message - to the 17 year old - and then he asked if he could read it and think about it and then get back to me tomorrow afternoon after work - which is today.  Of course!  So that's where that sits.

As for her, she admittedly has no clue how to deal with teenage boys. Teenage girls, yes, boys, she says she just doesn't know how to deal with them.  Then the ex and the things he tells those kids.......gag.

Well, enough. I am not getting anything done and it's already 10 am!

Off to the races!

ben

It's not that I forget to write in my blog.  Not at all. But an entire week has passed since my last entry.  I have been so caught up in talking with Valerie and almost all of her boys - they need help in a desperate way - that I just don't find the time to finish a normal blog entry for me.  I have several started in drafts for this week which were never finished.

But those boys - they need so much help in such a big way.  They are hurting, they are in pain, they don't know how to deal with it.  The 17 year old, who has been totally set against me all this time, not wanting anything to do with me - shocked me earlier this week.  I got online in the morning for work as I normally do, got on Facebook and saw a message waiting to be read.  It was him, asking me some questions about his mom and the way she is treating him.

It's late - for me - almost 11 - so I'm going to bypass a lot of stuff.  We started talking a lot on FB messages - he revealed a lot of things about himself that doesn't go to anyone else - mostly because he doesn't have anyone else but his girlfriend to talk to.  So anyway, I went to church tonight and as usual, started worshiping and praising the Lord, praying and seeking God and His presence.  It didn't take long and the Lord started speaking to me about this kid who in the eyes of the law will be an adult in just a few months.

Oh I hate to bypass so much stuff.  I think I will write this out tomorrow instead. I am exhausted and everything that happened to night just took it out of me - though I am not complaining at all.

Whatever the case, work week is over, it's late Friday night and yes, I am going to bed.

ben