Today was hellish for me.
For some reason, I could not sleep last night.  I went to bed at 9 pm, woke up at midnight and that was it for sleep for me.  I did every trick I know to get back to sleep - I was getting up at 3am to get to a delivery appointment in Oklahoma City by 9am.  No dice.  I fell back asleep right near the end, fell into a deep sleep at that, which is when one of my tenants came and knocked on the door - time to get up!
I had told him I needed to leave at 3 am.  It was 2:40 am, he thought I mean be AT the truckstop by 3. Doesn't matter, 20 minutes wasn't going to change anything.  But I felt like HELL on feet.  My head was banging and I was exhausted.  I didn't have time to take a shower or anything. I spend a couple of minutes with Adler - he hates when I leave - and got my stuff going and got out of there.

But this was bad the way I was feeling.  Like no way I am going to driving anything anywhere in this condition.  So, my tenant left - very nice of him to take me, btw, in the middle of the night, I didn't complain to him at all lol - I got in the truck and yes, I crawled in the sleeper. I didn't care if I made the appointment late.  The dispatcher is giving me these deliveries to unload after a weekend at a time schedule I don't want to keep. I don't want to get up at 3 am, or last Sunday, 2 am or the Sunday before that, 12am! to be at a delivery by an appointed time. If it has to be there that early, give it to someone that lives over there.  

I laid in that sleeper for 2 hours and still felt like crap when I forced myself up and got behind the steering wheel.  I was really just wanting daylight. When I am that tired, the only thing that really helps enough to keep me awake is sunlight.  Whatever.  I got to the drop place in Oklahoma City 2-1/2 hours late and I simply didn't care.  The truck has all kinds of issues, I'm not a freaking robot, I'm going to get my sleep and still, I will get up early, but not THAT early. Screw this stuff.  I felt bad most of the day. I had to stop twice on the way to Ok City and take short naps.  That's how bad it was. If they don't like my performance, so beit.  It's no sweat off my back, I am back to fully looking for another job.

And btw. That job I applied for right after I got on with this company? Called me today.  I was too grumpy and too tired and too exhausted to take anyone's calls, I let it go through to voicemail. But, this guy left a message: Hi ben, this is so and so from Saia and I am looking to set up an interview with your for the job you applied for. Heck ya! And no, I didn't call him back today. I want to be on point for any communications with any potential company, today was the Monday from hell, I just wasn't going to risk a potential job offer because my mind is sluggish and not thinking crisply.

I freely admit that this OTR junk is not for me.  But, this wasn't supposed to be an OTR gig, they just didn't tell the truth and that is that.  Here is the recruiter's reply to my email over the weekend, well part of his reply anyway: "Hey Ben, I had an emergence issue on Friday which required me to be admitted in the hospital.  Ben I’m sorry for any confusion on the home time! We try to get everyone home for weekend and any truck issue’s you have it’s to be reported to Jay or Marcus." 


At this point, I  apologize for the cussing in advance.  Confusion my ass.   His statement to me was, "We'll make our best effort to get you home frequently" after bringing up the conversation I had had with the owner of the company, because I would have just continued looking for a new job.  This guy is full of shit.  I'm not going to stay with this company, I am at least 90% convinced of that.  Between this bs and the issues of the truck.  \
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Heck, I didn't even get to the issues with the truck yet.  The freaking thing started leaking two fold more air pressure out the bottom of the air bags than what it was doing on Friday.  I'm in OK city, responding to emails from the director of the maintenance department - who had been forwarded my email to the recruiter.  This thing, if inspected, would get this truck put out of service, I would be issued a ticket and have to pay a fine, was my response to him and my response over the weekend to all of them.  This guy was, please get the truck back to the shop ASAP so we can fix it.

What the HELL kind of trucking company wants their trucks driving down the road with air dumping out of the system at a rate that that truck's air compressor is having a hard time keeping up with it? To save them money my ASS.  No reputable company does that.  They find the nearest service place and you go there, they pay them and it's done, over with.

So whatever.  If Saia wants me, they'll have me. It's a very decent hourly wage to start an
 home every night and NO weekend work. If not, the other place definitely wants me. It's100k per year but it's a life on the road.  The drivers, though, are quite happy there and that is a big plus.  They say it isn't living on the road all the time, I understand that all the trucks have to come back there after every trip, but still, you are on the road quite a bit.  I could, tho, invest in a lot of mind stimulating stuff for the road if I got a job like that. Well, I could and would do that now with this job but I don't feel like I'm going to be spending too much time with this company.
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I'm already making waves. I make no apologies.  If something isn't right, speak up about it. Don't sit in silence and expect the world is going to see what is going on with you.  They won't, and the company won't. As I said when I got hired on here, I'm not married to this company.  This is, in reality, regional work.  It's actually OTR with home on the weekends.  I don't give a shit about this place now, they have fully reneged on their statements, they don't care about operating equipment that is - dangerous in some respects to use, tho I am keeping my eyes on the air gauges now the entire time I am driving - and they figure you are what?  Nothing. This is the way trucking companies operate.  Much of nothing changes. The place in Longview, from what I have witnessed in their operations with other drivers, is a class act. Well it should be if the stuff you are hauling can take out a city block in an explosion!

Okay, I am admittedly doing nothing to help me get to sleepy mode. But it's only 8:45 and I need not get up until 5:30 am.  Really, if i was to do this forever? yes, I want a truck that has Direct TV and a flat screen tv mounted into it.  I want a double bunker so I can at least try taking my dog with me once.
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That was yesterday. Today, I got up, got a cup of coffee at the truckstop I was at, got in the truck and drove for 6-1/2 hours without stopping. I got the truck unloaded at 2 stops, the first one was unbelievable.  This was a newspaper in downtown Jackson, MS - on a 2 lane street with a loading dock inside the building.  I got her in there, but the leaking air bags - leaking from over-pressurization because the levelor was faulty - was making life difficult.  Anyway, I went STRAIGHT to the yard after that.  Dropped the trailer in the yard, and pulled that tractor right on up to the shop.  Sat there for several minutes doing paperwork - every stop = paperwork. Not that much, but I wanted to record everything I was doing at that particular point, so I was inputting stuff on several fronts. 
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Anyway, this dude that wanted me to drive over 600 miles with air literally dumping out came up and asked me to turn the truck off. I almost gave him a piece of my mind, but I was already hopping out of the truck anyway, paperwork done, I wanted to go find him and have a discussion.  Instead, he completely disappeared.  He gave me a look and left for the day. 

Well, they had already ordered all the parts to fix the thing, which I didn't know until I got into a discussion with the other mechanics there, apparently they took my word for what was wrong with it and there ya go.  But, they had problems, of course.  The leveler valve they ordered was not a Mack OEM part, they had a Chinese built POS delivered instead.  That was the culprit that ate up the rest of my driving hours for the day.  Hours and hours, 5 hours for that s***. 

I spent several hours in the office of the recruiter.  He's a nice guy, but he obviously has no qualms telling people whatever to get them into the company.  The owner of the company, tho, I would have thought maybe different story.  I told him all of my complaints - but nicely.  He isn't going to do anything and I just gave up on it.  Between the lies of the home time and this s*** with the mechanics of the truck, that is enough for me already.  I called Saia back today, but the guy was busy.  The other place I will call tomorrow.

Meanwhile, instead of "home most night", I'm "home" in Jackson, MS tonight in the sleeper (with my laptop, at least, tethered to my Iphone) and tomorrow night, I will be somewhere well on the way back up to Ohio.  They have runs galore going to Lufkin, but that doesn't work for them, I guess.  My lifelong problem - seriously - is that I just give my all to anything I"m doing and I have been taken advantage of in the past for that trait.  On numerous occasions in various venues.  In this case, it's not like I"m doing it for free, I"m getting miles and money - excepting for losing half a day to a broken, old, pile of junk truck. 

I don't even know what to think now.  Just, what? How did I end up in this nonsense? Home most nights my @$$. Home whatever nights they want me home, which is the weekends and that's that. 

See? My thinking is, beyond all this mechanical stuff and running quite unsafely, I won't do it again - is if I'm going to be out on the road all the time, why not go with that other company that will get me a minimum 20 to 30 grand more in my pocket at the end of each year?  I can't work forever, shouldn't I just take advantage of the best paying job that comes along?  My retirement is far from being anywhere even remotely near enough to retire on. 

Whatever.  After talking with the recruiter - the peeves I have with the company went on for a while, but we ended talking about things like Jason Bourne - a movie series he had never heard of yet he loves those kinds of movies - and other things.  I then ended up talking to the Safety Officer.  Not by choice, I wasn't seeking him out.  If they want to run this company like that - running with huge air leaks that is - that is their choice.  I showed him a video of the air leaking out. Yup, I took one today, which supersedes the one I posted on Facebook, the air is just gushing out of the bottom of an airbag.  He was like, well if I had known about it, I would have had the thing fixed right then and there.  Tell your mechanic that is running your truck repair division about it then. He was shocked that the guy wanted me to drive the thing all the way back in.

Well, he must have had a good reason for it. I'm thinking, what reason? I said: I have never heard of a trucking company in recent times that wants their machinery driven in that condition.  No, he said, I definitely would have said to get it fixed.  Well then, what the hell reason could there be for wanting the damned thing driven that far back into town? To save money, that's all it is. To show the presence of an in house shop is warranted.  To preserve their jobs.  Nothing more than that.  I flatly told him  I wouldn't do it again. If that truck has a problem that needs fixed, I will park it, call y'all and if you don't fix it, that truck is going to sit there. Thanks.  I don't give two s**** what happens to my job there at this point.  I could care less - other than it wouldn't look good on my employment record - if I even got fired. 

That's it for now. Just thinking about that other job hauling that chemical all over the nation.  It doesn't have any weekends guaranteed home.  It's just 3 days on 1 off, but the 1 off may also be done away with if they have a load that needs to be hauled somewhere. In other words, come back, get the tanker refilled and head off somewhere. 

Hmm, well I started this yesterday and forgot about it, so post it in incomplete form, lol.

And just like that, my credit score takes a 31 point nose dive on 2 of the reporting agencies.  I opened up an account a few months ago that had zero fees to move from one card to another, so I maxed the thing out.  It's 18 months interest free, which I fully intend on paying off long before 18 months is up.  That is, if my income starts flowing in the right direction.

So, I guess if I pay a few thousand dollars off of debt, the score should bot back up.  Right? Maybe, credit scores and what affects them are a netherland to me.  You do something you think will help and it does, but then it hurts you.  In this case, it appears to the credit reporting agencies that I just used $1,500 of credit card limit and therefore, I think if I am assessing this right and all the reading I have done, I must be desperate for money. So, double whammy - I opened a new account and I used $1,500 instantaneously on it.

I didn't figure getting my credit score to go back up would be an overnight proposal, tho.  once I pay my debt down to below 30%, that will raise my score significantly.  I'm at 37% right now, so that really shouldn't take too long once I get a good flow of income in.

My previous employer sent my final vacation payout.  The company "lost" the hours and that is why i didn't get paid.  Well ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!  If I hadn't of said anything to former GM, it would never have been resolved.  Seriously.  They just switched over from one format to another for signing in and employee information, my vacation hours were left on the old format and hadn't transferred over.  Yet, the Regional manager got a bit testy with me.  I wrote him a nice letter back, telling him if he has issues with me, that's fine, but my stance is, why is this taking so long? It''s company policy, it's in writing.  I bid him a nice day and never heard back from him.

Anyway, my first full paycheck was more than 2 paychecks at the previous employer, as expected. Still, you never know, so I kinda held back any optimism until I actually saw the thing deposited into my bank account.

I have my doubts about this company, tho. As I reported yesterday, the truck is having issues - some serious issues - and after bringing it up to both my dispatcher  in texting and the head mechanic in person - and getting nowhere with it - well. that's a big red flag on my list.  You don't make money broke down on the side of the road.  Or even if it's in the company shop, you aren't making money sitting there waiting for days for them to fix it. If the transmission is having the trouble I think it is, it will definitely take a couple days to fix.

Then there is the issue of who is going to get blamed for that damage.  I can honestly say that in all the years I have driven trucks, I have never trashed a motor or a tranny, or a differential for that matter. Never burned up a clutch, either.  In the first years of driving, without engine brakes, I smoked the brakes a couple of times coming down off of very long, steep grades.  I was a rookie, some things are going to happen. But nothing ill became of those instances.  So, I will not accept and declaration that "you did this" unless I actually, really did do it, but since there is no way of proving that and I know that I haven't done anything to cause it, it's a moot point in my book. The truck has half a million miles on it, that alone is enough to simply be a wear and tear issue.

Well who knows, I'm not going to fret about the blame game, but I will have an issue if this thing breaks down out on the road. Not after I warned them about the issues and actually told them this truck needs fixed to 2 different people, now 3.  I asked the recruiter who I am supposed to report this stuff to since the head mechanic didn't do or even say anything.

Meanwhile, tomorrow morning at 9 am I have a road test with the first company I had wanted to go with.  At this point, it seems very prudent that I go ahead with that and play this thing out. Because, I have quit companies in the past that wouldn't maintain or even repair their equipment and get pissy about it breaking down for no fault of my own.  One such time was a bad fuel pump.  I told them it has a bad fuel pump.  They said how would you know, we are sending someone to get it started. I said fine, but it isn't going to fix the problem.  It's a long story, I won't go into it here, but the end result was the service guy got it running (not a mechanic) by spraying starting fluid into the intake.  I drove the truck half a mile and it stopped, on the highway, at a light.  All hell broke loose after that and I ended up quitting the company.  I didn't even tell them - til the end.  I drove the load back to Phoenix (where it was going anyway) after they fixed the truck, delivered the load, took the truck back to their yard.  Got all my stuff out of it, handed it back to them and quit.

Same thing would happen here.  Take the truck back, get my stuff out of it, take a bus back home, c'ya.  That's it.  I haven't heard back from the recruiter, maybe I won't.  Dunno, but if I don't, I am definitely going to take it up with the owner of the company who contacted me about this job in the first place.  Whatever he determines, that is what I will base my decisions off of.  I'm sure these are all nice, good people, but, they have to deal with the negative elements of the trucking industry and includes broken trucks.

Finally home.
Truck is having issues.
The fuel filters were the top of the list, now it's secondary.
The air leveler valve - a 99% solid guess - is bad on the truck and needs replaced.
The transmission is making grinding, chunking noises that sound like the thing is going
to fall apart. 
That's 3 issues. All of them need immediate attention.
Yet, when I brought it up to the dispatcher, he asked a few questions and then, disappeared.

I actually saw the head of the mechanic division today and mentioned all of it, he said nothing and did nothing.

I shrugged my shoulders. Who is it going to hurt in the end? Me and the company. Me, because the truck is going to break down on the side of the road and I will be stuck. I'm not making money if I'm not driving the truck. The company because it will cost them 3 times as much to fix it somewhere other than their own shop AND they won't be making money off of the truck. 

It's whatever.  If the thing happens to make it back from Oklahoma this coming week, I'm simply going to tell them the thing needs to go to the shop and get fixed.  If they refuse, I'll  call the owner of the company - whose cell phone number is printed in very large letters with the orientation packet and you can call him anytime type of thing - and ask him how he would like to handle this.

I've got a road test on Sunday morning.  Guaranteed that company takes care of their equipment.  When you're hauling a chemical that can kill a lot of people in a nano second if there was a serious crash, they aren't going to fool around with bad equipment.  They have newer Peterbilts and replacing all of them with brand new Peterbilts.  So hey, it's whatever to me. 

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So, Saturday evening.  Looking forward to this road test.  Just because - providing I pass it of course - I have an out here. An out that I had originally planned as the first choice. 

Whatever the case, I have spent the day getting mundane stuff done, going around town getting chores taken care of and basically relaxing for the most part. 

I did get a chance to talk with my son today. For an hour, lol.  But hey, our conversations are far and few between.  Texting here and there, but not the same as talking on the phone. He's busy, he's got a new wife, they are adjusting to the lifestyle of living with one another, I totally understand. So, it makes the gems of talking to him at whatever occasion even more precious to me. 

There's one thing that my dad did for me that I feel inclined to carry on.  He sent me checks at random intervals.  Hi son, just wanted to help you out a bit.  I miss my dad.  I look back and wish I had visited him much more often than I did.  He really was a great influence on my life.  We used to email a lot, tho, before the Alzheimer's set in, I have that to feel that at least I connected with him  - rather often at that.  Thousands of emails over a span of a great many year's time, still in my AOL email account.  I read some of them here and there.  He was a man of God.  Always had a positive outlook - well mostly, sometimes his relationship with his wife got the better of him, but al most always he was upbeat and encouraging. 

Anyway, that's it for today.  Tomorrow will be a new adventure.  I guess I will be a little bit nervous. It'a always that way when you have someone scrutinizing your performance even if it's something you are totally comfortable doing, have been doing it for decades and do it well.

Well first off, I've been sitting at a place in Hammond, Louisiana, for 7 hours and will be here at least another 10 before I can get out of here.  When I found out they wouldn't unload me today, I took off to the nearest truck stop and had dinner, tho.  Spaghetti and salad. Very tasty with some leftovers that I am about to eat.  I wasn't near as hungry as I thought I would be. 

I did get some exercise today, tho, in traipsing through woods where the truck is parked.  And stood on a set of railroad tracks for an hour at least, just thinking about things.  I know how truck drivers get so fat and out of shape.  I am struggling to figure out ways to avoid that.  I already had a gut going before I got into this job. Yet, I am eating some granola bars throughout the day and having dinner at night.  I want to change that to eating the meal earlier and not before I am going to bed.

Anyway, the truck is making some chattering noises in the gear box and I have my doubts that it's going to last much longer before it dies and needs repaired.  I did say something to the dispatcher about it, he asked if it was a throwout bearing. Very well could be, I replied, to which he had nothing to offer. Great, if the thing breaks down, I thought, don't say I didn't say anything, is in writing.  He's a cool guy but he is far too overextended.  32 drivers? How does one person manage that many drivers in a day? I just text him mostly, he can get back to me whenever unless it is urgent then I try to call him. 

If the truck doesn't die on me, then I will get this thing finally unloaded at 4am this coming morning, get on up the road to 17 miles to a load site, then up to near Jackson to drop the trailer, go to another site, pick up another trailer and head - home.  Should be doable in one day. Monday morning I will have to be in Oklahoma City at 9am. 

Meanwhile, my first paycheck is everything I thought it would be and then some.  The orientation dude said there are potentials for bonuses on paychecks, I had no opinion one way or the other. Just sounded like blather that oritentation guys give when they are trying to get you hired on. If it's true, wonderful, if it's not, I wasn't holding my breath for it and turning blue anyway. Well, there was $150 bonus on that check.  It was amazing to see that. I busted my ass last week tho, not like it was a free ride.  Still cool tho.  Not complaining. Haha

And then there is the prospect of this other job. I am just in limbo. What to do, what to do. I'll tell ya what, I netted $400 more on this paycheck in one week's work than I netted in any paychecks in recent times from my previous employer for two weeks worth of pay.  If that stood, that's a net gain of $1600 per month. That's after taxes, mind you.  Net, not gross. Gross pay even more.  I could get used to this job for a while.  I could.  Weekends off. The other job offered, however, is even more pay. But, no weekends off, not guaranteed anyway. Just come and get the truck, drive over to Eastman and get the tanker loaded - they do all the loading, you actually have to unhook the trailer and leave the premises while they do that (very hazardous material, the the 195 below zero factor is enough to kill you instantly, if not that, the suffocation and one other thing that kills you that was explained to me that I have since forgotten).  But I don't really care about that.  They haul these trailers all over the place.

If I did have some happenstance that took my life, I figure instant freezing wouldn't really be that bad?  I dunno, not really wanting to find out, but I do think death would be quick, fast and - painless?  I laugh at these people that say "instant death, no pain". How the HELL does anyone KNOW that for sure?  Haha, great minds that propagate their scientific wares, anyway.

I'm getting more comfortable with this.  I hate being away, but this stuff I can endure. Would be better in a newer truck and definitely if it was the new trucks that have the free Direct TV in them with a 22 inch flat screen tv mounted in the sleeper and a double bunk - I'd brink Addler once at least to see if he can deal with it, because from what I am seeing, he is a grumpy dog when I leave.  That's coming from them, at the house, not me.  He is well loved, tho, and well taken care of. Two other dogs for company as well.  So not the end of the world, I just want better accomodations if I'm going to do this.  I  can't get the cigarette smoke smell out of here as much as I have tried, it's tamed down quite a bit but that pervasive odor doesn't go away. 

Anyway, I'm going to wind down for the night, meaning getting off of here and dealing with paperwork and getting ready to go to sleep. 3am I need to be in there with my paperwork.  I don't have to drive anywhere, the door is 300 feet away : )

A short entry. 

4 accidents in various places today left my in want on the total number of miles driven. I guess 600 isn't that bad but closer to 700 would have been better.

Meanwhile, this lady from that other place called today. I had totally given up on them. She wouldn't call me back, but it's a large, nationwide company that is reputable and has great benefits, better than what I would currently be getting at new job.  They still want to hire me, they said, when can you come in for a road test?

I didn't bother to tell her I was working a new job, I figured to go ahead and schedule it - for this coming weekend - to give myself some time to think about this.  And also to see my first real paycheck from this new company.  I had ample miles last week, I should have a healthy check.  But the proof isn't in the pudding until you see what that check is.  

I have always wanted to do tankers, tho and this other company is nothing but tankers.  Enough experience with them - like 1 or 2 years anyway - and I could easily score a local job hauling gasoline and home every night, making decent money. In fact, this company has a huge fleet of gas tankers running all over the country.  You've seen them, KAG or Keegan Advantage Group.

Doing the road test and just even leading up to doing the road test gives me time to revisit this in my mind.  For I was sold on that job in the beginning, I was going to go for it.  But she got caught up in whatever is going on over there. I did talk to several other drivers and they wouldn't do anything else.  People that have been working there since the 80's and 90's, when their yard was located in Magnolia, Arkansas.  They moved to Longview cause - well, the supplier of the chemicals they are hauling is in Longview. 

So anyway, I do want to see my first paycheck here, before I make any decisions and I willl get that on Friday. Well I got the "first" paycheck, it was only for 2 runs and that wasn't going to be that much money, obviously.  The difference between home time for current company and the other one is actually quite a bit. Current company at least gets me home on weekends.  That company gets you home every 3 days - but only for a day and only if they don't have another run for you to turn around and go out on.  

But, the future is what I"m looking at and KAG could eventually lead to a local job, either with them if possible or move on to another company.  Preferably stay within company.  

And then I was thinking about doing online classes with ASU today, as I keep hearing their ads on the radio and they are offering over 150 courses that you can do whenever you can get to it, all online, all the same credits as if you had shown up in the classroom. ASU is from my 2cd hometown, they have the most registered students of any college in the nation.  They continue to expand all over the place, I didn't even know they were offering online courses.

Tho, I learn better in a classroom setting, to be honest. 

Anyway, that's it. There's more but it's bedtime and I have a full day ahead of me tomorrow.  

Driving in hellish traffic all day long today.  I was sent to Columbus, Ohio, a place I haven't been to in decades.  Had to pass through several large cities, got caught in rush hour traffic in one of them. But that, bad as it was, wasn't the worst thing.  My GPS came on and told me that I could "save 36 minutes" by taking an alternate route. 

Well darn if there wasn't a bad crash and I got off the Interstate just in time, so I thought.  I got to a turn in the road that said "trucks turn left, bridge ahead 11"".
Traffic was totally snarled anyway.  I gave up on that, went back to the Interstate and spent two hours - yes, two freaking hours - going the distance of 4 miles.  I mean, 30 minutes of that was sitting on the side of the Interstate - I ran out of hours, I had to take my mandatory 30 minutes break or be in "Hours Of Service" violation, so I did. Just pulled over and parked. By the time I woke up - I was tired, fell right asleep - 25 minutes later, the traffic had completely  cleared. 

Anyway, traffic ate up my drive hours today and I didn't have enough time to get to the drop place.  Or I might have, but I wouldn't have had any time to leave that yard.  No thanks.  I'm not sitting in a yard all night long with no access to a toilet or food.  Yes, I could "improvise", but why bother.  Well, I was fighting the clock just getting here.  I mean, I pulled into this Pilot truckstop with 3 minutes left on the clock!  I stopped, pulled the valves and put myself on "On Duty", taking myself off of "Driving".  Yup, electronic logs.  Pros and cons to it.  Pros are it's much easier than filling out a log book. Con - Once the 14 hour clock starts, you don't get off of it.  You can't just stop, but yourself on "Sleeper Berth" line and take a few hours to sleep if you're tired, losing no on Duty or Driving time. 

Lots of truckers are complaining about that and another road block apparently is being planned, or so I heard on the CB radio today. Ahh, yes, just found it, a Facebook group called Operation Black and Blue, but it's a closed group. Kinda dumb to be a closed group if you're trying to encourage a bunch of truckers to stop dead on the highway for 2 hours and block traffic. I asked to join anyway, just to see if this guy I was hearing on the radio was making accurate statements.

Well anyway, this is a small Pilot truck stop. I guess they are all small, but when I pulled in there, I was aghast.  I am out of hours, I am not going anywhere, even if every single parking space is full.  And they were  -  allllll - filled up.  I drove around to the fuel pumps to act like I was fueling - which I was not, had fueled up earlier since I also pushed that one to the limit and ended up putting 226 gallons of fuel into this thing.  See, if you aren't doing electronic logging, you can just fudge the books if you have to drive down the road to find a place to park.  In this case, you can put yourself off duty, but if you start pulling through the gears, that thing is automatically putting you back on "Driving" status.  So I stated in 3rd gear only.

Well, I pulled through the fueling lanes and much to my surprise, a truck pulled out of it's spot, right there.  And at the same time, another truck had pulled in and was backing into another spot.  I pulled up in front of my intended parking space and waited. And waited some more.  You see, this lot wasn't exactly designed for big trucks to be pulling intricate backing maneuvers into tight spots between 2 trucks already in there. This is a daily dilemma for truckers across the country and have been complaining about it for years - it's only getting worse. 

I can envision an entrepreneur with money simply buying up land, opening up parking only lots and charging a monthly fee for nation wide access.  Yea, I mean something on a big scale.  I mean, if I got out of this truck right now, at 7:00 pm, I can guarantee you there are no empty spaces and this is the only truck stop around.  That I know of anyway or saw coming in.  There are several 50 miles outside of town, but not here.  I was afraid I was going to run into parking problems when I got here.  Anyway, I waved all the fuel lane trucks trying to leave past me. Yup, please go on.  Cause I was going to go down, to the end, flip a U-ey and come back.  NO way I am backing a truck this big and long into a space that small without doing it from the right side. Blind side backing is dangerous even for the most skilled driver with backing skills. You can do it, but you are likely going to have to get out of the truck several times to make sure you aren't about to take out the truck you are backing against.  

I have seen drivers using a spot mirror on a pole so they can see out the passenger side while blind side backing.  It is just highly not recommended if you can avoid it.  If you can't, do what you must. 

My problems were exaggerated by a broken down pickup across the other side and a parked semi over there behind it. I could not get the full access to pull up as the "designers" intended. Fortunately for me, a man decided he was going to help me back into that spot, and I was very much grateful for the help.  He was quite adept at giving hand signals, obviously been helping drivers get their trucks into spaces long enough to have gotten good at it. But, at the same time, the driver has to have the sense enough to get that thing angled right and get the truck banking around just right.  You take a tractor that long and a trailer that long and get it off even a little, you are pulling up and trying again. I had to do 2 pullups just because of the obstructions in front of me, but the 3rd time was the charm.

Thank you!  To the man that took his own time out to help me. 
\
So, I am stuck here for another 12 hours.  Yup.  I could get the load delivered after 10 hours - meaning 2am - but I can't get the next load on until 8am and it's only 13 miles away.  So, I have some free time! And, I am going to decide what movie I want to watch and go on Putlocker and watch it.  I have so much gigs every month on my phone, I can do a lot of streaming before I even come close to running out.  And, the phone works very well at supplying the computer it's needed input to pump out a movie. I watched Unstoppable last night - runaway train movie with Denzel Washington, trying to decide what I want to watch tonight.  Anyway, that's enough for one entry. 

As expected, getting up at 11:45 pm for work and starting driving at around 12:15 am was a total disaster. For me anyway. I am definitely not a night driver.  I only got 3 hours of sleep to start with and keeping myself awake all night long until I arrived at 7 am was ridiculous. I climbed into the sleeper after I got backed up to the dock and told them to come knock on the door when they're done, cause' I'm wiped out.

I was sleeping soundly, too, when that knock came on the door.  Well that much driving ate up a bunch of my allowable driving hours to the tune of over 7, leaving 3 hours and 45 minutes drive time left.  I was given instructions to head northwest to a company that we do a lot of business with, get loaded and the head out.  I didn't look at where I was heading out to, just the loading information.

I was a bit shocked when I went to do a map route for it to see I am going to Columbus, Ohio.  I can't remember the last time I was there, at least 2 decades.  I decided the miles outweighed the home time.  They couldn't have gotten me home today anyway, not enough driving hours left to get there.  So, I put on almost 700 miles today, which is a pretty good feat in a truck the is governed at 70 mph.  You get 11 hours of driving allowed in a 14 hour time period.  The extra work hours are for loading and unloading, fueling, whatever.  I'm a driving fool when i want to be, I can go on and on and on without stopping for anything at all.  Keep a nicely stocked truck and you don't need to stop.  And yes, I bought a variety of low calorie/fat snacks - several boxes worth this time.

The last time I just bought one huge box of granola bars, and tho they were tasty, very much a big mistake.  Must have a variety in the offerings.  So now I have 4 different types, plus some crunchy things that Rene gave to me (tenant) and another case of water.  Welp, the load itself was difficult because it is very near 80,000 pounds, meaning trying to get the steer axle, drive axles and tandem axles all below the maximum amount allowed.  For whatever reason, this company doesn't want drivers fooling with the placement of the Fifth Wheel.  Meaning I can't slide it back or forth.  The only thing you can do is slide the tandems - that's the axles and wheels on the trailer.

Well, when I looked into the trailer I picked up, I knew right away it was a heavy load, so I just went ahead and slid them suckers on up.  It wasn't enough, tho, my first round through the scales at that place I was over on the drive axles by 1,200 pounds.  You don't go through weigh stations like that.  They will give you a hard time at best, most likely issue you a fine at worst.  So, I slid them even further forward and it came out very nice.  I've been through 2 weigh stations since then so I know it's good lol.  \

The things that I have forgotten about trucking.  It's all coming back to me now.  I despise heavy loads that are near full amount of legal weight because it can take several tries to get the axles set to where the truck is no more than 34,000 on the tandems, 34,000 on the drive axles and 12,000 on the front/steering axle.  You can't just be below 80,000 and call it good, you have to be good on all 3 of those things as well.

After careful consideration, I decided to simply try to take a nap this afternoon for at least an hour, or however long I can get out of it, go to bed around 8 - 8:30 and get up at midnight. 

I would have to leave out of here at 2:00 pm today - which is an hour and 45 from now, to get there in time to have the mandatory 10 off time and be at the delivery place on time.  The problem is, I am not really a night driver.  I get sleepy.  I'm going to have even more discussions about this night driving business.  A few hours of it, fine, all night long, no thanks.  Plus it throws off my sleep schedule and takes awhile to get back to normal. 

I'm not really looking forward to tonight, to put it mildly. 

Whatever.  I've got most of my stuff done. Just a few more loads of laundry and all of that is over with.

I turned on the truck today to make sure it was going to actually turn on - unlike last Monday - and Addler went goofy crazy.  He figured I was leaving right there and then and wasn't really a happy camper.  He has figured out already that the truck running either means I am coming or going.  Since I'm here, means I'm going. 

Well whatever.  Meanwhile, I am still putting my thoughts to local work. Yes I know I just started this job but I am not really happy with it.  Unless they move back towards the center, at least, of where we were discussing my home time should be at, I don't see myself staying here that long.  I've spent minimal money on supplies for the truck and not buying a refrigerator and such just because of my reservations.  I made my case to the recruiter in a polite email, let's discuss this.  The original conversations were to do this, you are doing that, how can we adjust this and bring it more to a central position? 

I haven't heard back from that one. If I don't get some kind of reply this week, I will call him and try this again.  I'm the only one from out of state working there, I found after I got there. They aren't taking into consideration that I don't live there and the concessions they make other drivers simply do not apply to me because of that.  I could be home frequently if I lived over in Jackson.  Nope, not even remotely thinking about moving there, just saying, if I were like the rest of the drivers, I could park the truck at the yard and go home on many nights.

The only move I could think of to go to now would be an old friend that probably would have a job for me if I decided I wanted to take one.  We're good friends from the 80's in the mission field.  I missed the opportunity to go visit him because all of this other stuff came up with my dad and then my son getting married.  Now I have no paid time off and not likely to get any of that going for a long time.  I can take time off, just isn't paid.  Not in a position to absorb that right now.  If I did decide to stay, I likely wouldn't want to even ask until being there for a while.  I would really like to go visit mom tho.  Even a weekend and a couple days before or after would work. 

I have to say that there are a few competitors in the area vying against my old company. They are making gains and taking over some of our contracts because some of those contractors absolutely despise this new manager.  He's not really new, now, but I call him that because he is an ogre, a troll from the past.  an antiquated relic of a human being stuck in some time loop from the past where things, in his mind, were better.  Anyway, I am definitely considering putting in apps to any of those places that might be hiring drivers.  I have enough experience to supersede anyone else that might be applying for that specific type of position. 

Whatever the case, I have few precious hours of home time left, so I'm ending this one. 

Well the recruiter asked, so  I answered.  Not in a very negative way, just sort of, this is what I imparted at the beginning, this is what was told me, this is what is happening.  Look I'll drive that ruck - I have - without stopping for hours and hours.  Get it over with. If the next stop is 9 hours away, I"m driving it out until 6  or 7, where I have to stop by fed mandate for a 30 minute break, get out of the truck, exercise, and then go until it's done.
____________________________________

Yesterday, neither my final vacation payout nor my first paycheck arrived in my checking account.  I should have gotten both.  Meaning, for the time being, putting off paying the mortgage payment.  I can do that all the way up until the last day of the month, after that I jeopardize my credit score once again.

I have enough to pay it, but not enough to pay it and the bills that are going to hit my account in the next 15 days.  Right now, the worst that happens is a $40 late fee. 

Obviously, I contacted both my GM of the old company and the recruiter of the new company.  The recruiter wrote back and gave me a number to call for a specific person - who did not answer the phone.  I tried throughout the day to get a hold of him to no avail and left my name and phone number, with no reply to it.  I wrote the recruiter back asking him to look into this, for whatever money is there, I want, it's owed to me, this isn't really a good way to start off an employer-employee relationship, thanks. 

I don't mind that he handed me off to the department that deals with it, I do mind that that department doesn't answer their phone nor reply to their voice messages. 

As for the vacation hour payout, the GM wrote back and said he would look into it. At the end of the day, like 9 hours later, I heard nothing back from him and asked him why.  He made a lame excuse and yes, I called him out on it, then wrote the Regional Manager for help with the situation since he wasn't going to do anything.  Monday, I'm bypassing both of them and calling payroll myself.  I should have received that payout yesterday.  I will find out why it wasn't paid out, it is company policy, in writing, that's all I need. 

So, two strikes.  Fortunately I had the money from the house rent in Phoenix in the account - otherwise I would be totally screwed right now.  Like, get out the credit card again and start paying bills with it, for there are no other options.  I want to start paying those cards down, not continue to have to use them. I figured go pay out $500 on one card with the vacation payout, which will bring that card down to almost zero.  I then figured to start paying off one of the zero interest accounts, I have two of them now.  That will take some time, but I need to get this credit card junk managed.

Well well well. Sure enough, the Regional manager wrote and gave an excuse for the GM. Short, curt and to the point.  My rather short email to him was polite and professional.  No reason for him to reply to me in that manner.  I have no expectation of ever going  back there, certainly not now.  I mean, yes if I moved back to Phoenix I would certainly ask my old GM, he's a great man, knows how to treat employees like family, like they are a part of a team and makes you feel like you actually belong there. The Regional manager over there as well, very cool person. 

I did reply to him just now, but not in kind.  I'm not going to fall for it.  I don't care what they think about me, my requests for pay raises went ignored. That's that.  In fact, the GM actually lied to me about getting a pay raise, but he doesn't acknowledge that, of course. I didn't bring that up, at all, in this round of emails, not worth it.  I'm going to go out in class and keep my head up.  Whatever happens to me, is on me at this point.  I am going to rid this new job out for while - unless there are going to be pay issues, that's a bit ridiculous.  I will be keeping my eyes open for a local job that pays good enough and gets me home at the end of the day.  If I'm going to live in a truck, I want one of the new ones since they have already reneged on their promise to "have me home most nights".

That was just utter blather, no reality to that at all.  I don't want to move around from one place to another, but in the trucking industry, that is actually a very common thing to do. Move around until you find one that works for you.  They are mostly the same, but it's how you are treated that makes the difference. I was going broke at the old company, I was going into debt, no thanks.  I made my pitches on several occasions for a pay raise, it ended up empty handed. That's their decision, mine was to move on, I let them know that near the end, like the last few months.  I flatly told them because of the hour reduction, my banking account was almost drained and I had no savings. 

When I got to the point that both were empty, living paycheck to paycheck, that's when I made the move. This wasn't some thing that I just decided to do overnight. This was a long time in the coming.  I can say that I am very elated not to be working for that a-hole boss anymore.  It's like becoming unshackled from chains and locks. 

Anyway, I must be about my Saturday. Need to visit Walmart and get some supplies for the truck - water and low calorie, low fat snacks to munch on.  The granola bars I bought for the last two weeks were okay, but just okay.  Try something else.  And a haircut.  It's pretty difficult to wake up in the morning and not have a shower to go to to wash your hair and get it kempt looking again.  I have to have a haircut that looks good regardless and that would be short hair. 

Today was a little different.  I was in some town south/central Mississippi, parked over night.  Got up this morning, made the delivery and then sat and waited for the next load.  Meanwhile, another truck pulled up so I asked him if he could help me identify where an air leak I kept hearing when I hit the brakes was coming from.  I can't hit the brakes and go look at the same time, but I pointed him to where I thought it was coming from and sure enough, a good air leak coming out of one of the air lines that goes from the truck to the trailer. 

So I threw that in the text as well: Got a good air leak, gonna need fixed soon.

I had called him before that asking if he had received my other texts cause he wasn't responding.  He's a busy dude, I get that but I don't want to needlessly sit around when there are miles and money to be made.  I was waiting there 2-1/2 hours when he finally said well come up to the shop and get it fixed. 152 miles away, dead heading? Okay.  They pay me for it, so that's on them. The entire glad handle had to be replaced, which was done relatively quickly and then I get a text: Get over to Brandon's ASAP. 

When he says that, I assume the place is closing shortly and a narrow window of time to get there. So I boogied on over, got the truck loaded with riding, zero turn lawnmowers - at least 100k worth lol, wish I could take one home - and headed out.  I'm back in the same area my old job used to send me.  Too bad I couldn't have gone another 80 miles further west, I could have spent the night at the house. 

Oh well. I will be going even further west than my house tomorrow and I have 4 drops, so maybe, if I"m lucky and time works out that way, I can still take a break at the house.  You never know, I'm not counting on it but it's a possibility.  I can't see myself leaving the last stop before 2 or 3 - these stops are scattered over 130 mile range and obviously trying to get them done in a day.  I would really not even want to do this junk considering the lack of miles, but they make it up by paying a per stop pay on top of miles in cases like this.  So it's $200 worth of stop pay plus mileage, it will be a good paying day tomorrow. 

I'm stuck in Minden, LA, just a mile down the road from the 1st delivery.  Hit them up early and get on down the road to Shreveport, then down to Mansfield and then over to a small town just south of Tyler, Texas. 

And so it is. I dont know what to make of all of this yet, hence I have kept my mouth shut about home time.  Give it some time to figure out whether I can adjust and actually maybe even like the lifestyle.  Last night was the first night I really slept good in the truck.  I drove until 11:30 pm and I was bone, dead tired.  I finally figured out how to adjust the AC on this APU, that was one of the problems. It would freeze this thing out.  I mostly am running it to get rid of the humidity, the temps aren't that bad at night. 

I'm kinda in lala land today.  Not sure what to think about anything going on.  Just riding it all out, seeing where it goes. 

Sunday - noon.
Watching a movie.  Thinking about this job.
Trying not to look at tomorrow morning and leaving here again as some sort of negative thing.
Kinda hard at the moment.  I'd have to leave for work anyway, but I would normally be coming
home 9-1/2 hours later, not heading to some unknown destination far, far from home. 

It's the lifestyle that I've lived for the last 15 or more years that I am fighting against right now.
It's ingrained into my head and it's a tough one to crack open and "renegotiate" with  myself.  This is why I asked specifically to be home. Much more than this anyway.  I figured if I could even just sleep at home,a few nights per week, if nothing else while I'm here, that would really help me make it through this transition.

I'm not 20 years old anymore. The allure of being out on the road all the time has long since passed.   The allure, however, of making good money has not.  There just has to be a middle group these people need to find for me somehow.  I guess they don't have to do anything, but these are words I garnered from the own of the company on the very first interaction with this place.  "You live in a good area for us".  "We can have you home most nights.  You might be out one (he may have said two)".  The recruiter didn't reaffirm every night, he said they would try to accommodate as best they could for it.

Well so far, they have done nothing to accommodate for me.  They just run me constantly. I get done with on load and it' immediately on to the next thing.  It's great for miles/pay, but the lifestyle is grueling.  The hours of the day are meaningless. They only thing that counts is hours - hours of service, 14 and driving hours, 11.  Without saying it, you are expected to drive out your 11 hours if necessary on any given run and then stop, no matter what time of day it is.  It really messes with your sleep schedule. 

Now, there is a no-forced-dispatch policy.  I could say no.  But at the moment, I'm trying to decide whether I want to make a good impression on this company and eat all of this, do all this running around and live with it - or - tell them I need a more normal sleep schedule.  They determine appointment times.  That's based on how long it will take you to get there before you are even done delivering the next load. That's right, I'm to contact the dispatcher before I'm done unloading so he can crank me out to the next place.

The whole thing is perplexing. From what they told me on the phone and in writing to what is actually occurring are literally worlds apart.  I should have expected this, this is the way trucking companies operate - offer you the world, go back on their words where the rubber meets the road.  It would be a little easier if my sleep hadn't departed from me.  Even last night, in my own bed, I didn't sleep well.  Really hard to drive all day long when you're tired. 

So, in context of all this perplexity, I haven' written the recruiter yet about any of this.  I really need the money right now to get back up to even, much more ahead.  I'm looking at my credit cards and choking on all of that mess.  Way too much has been charged and I really want to pay all of that down.  A rock and a hard place, literally is where I'm at.  Consequences for any action I take, including doing nothing and continuing what I'm doing now.

Whatever the case, I fully intend on being in Lufkin, Texas at 8:00am.  Let the race begin.  Last week, after that, I dead headed 132 miles to a flour plant up north Texas.  I was amazed to find out they pay for dead heading. That didn't used to happen in the "good ole' days", any dead heading wasn't paid and you ate it, meaning you demanding that the next load be within 75 miles max. 

I'm still happy to have found out yesterday morning that the truck stop isn't supposed to be charging to park there. I didn't really think so, that place is a pit, but it's the only one in town here. Amazing this little town has any kind of truck stop to be honest. 

Welp, I'm going to see if I can find my brand new, never used CB radio. It's in one of those giant boxes from the storage unit.  I really don't feel like taking all of it out of the shed, tho.  If I can't find it within the first few boxes, I may give up on it.  I'm pretty worn out right now, not much energy, trying to recoup for the coming week.  but, talking on the CB used to be rather stimulating, way back when. I've heard it's nothing but a bunch of people cussing each other out. I dunno, but since I have one and the power and antenna inputs are already on the dashboard, might as well find out. 

If I were to really get serious about this, I wouldn't mind getting some audio books to listen to.  Not to mention a refrigerator.

Well enough of this for now.  I"m watching yet another movie, lol. 

I've decided to hold off on any comments about home time.  I don't need to be home, I need to make some money and get out of debt.  I'm just going through the pangs of a completely different lifestyle that places huge demands on time.  I went through almost all of my 70 hour allotted work week - that's the Feds rule - by the time I got home today.  Driving home, however, was also paid miles since it's on the way to delivering Monday morning.  Likely I will have to dead head 132 miles again for a load and then head back to Mississippi. They are in Mississippi, their main accounts are in Mississippi. 

__________

Well dinner  called and right now? Good ole' home cooking is a mighty fine distraction.  I cooked the potatoes though, I like them nice and crispy or at least semi-crispy. Delicious. 

Anyway, the point of this particular post was the idea of contacting everyone about getting my @$$ home at least once a week.  I think I'll go through another week at least of this and see what happens first.  The reason being is that I am being kept busier than a truly OTR driver.  Whether that is a test to see if I'll drive of if that is a constant thing remains to be seen. But since they have their own in-house broker, they get the runs they want to take that are going to keep drivers busy. 

I'm just running through all of this.  If I could get my  sleep back this would be much better.  I am going to take my big ole' box fan with me this time, it's the sound I've been sleeping to for years and years now.  There is a perch in the sleeper where it will fit. That perch is where a TV normally would be, but I don't have that and I am not investing in anything beyond low cost items for this.  I expect that sleeping tonight in my own bed in normal surroundings will result ina  good night's sleep. 

This is such a huge adjustment to my lifestyle.  I'ma give it time before saying anything about it.  Maybe I will can adjust.  Maybe not, but a week's time isn't enough to determine that.  I can tell ya that driving I-85 through South and North Carolina is a major clusterfreak.

Anyway, when I went to park the truck at the truckstop today, I went in to pay for the privilege.  The lady was on her cellphone, standing outside, but came in after I did. How may I help you?  I'm parking here through tomorrow night.  Okay.  Well you don't have to pay.  Oh.  Well 2 guys working here said I did and took my money.  Umm, no, she said, they are wrong, you don't have to pay to park here.  Thanks!

I'm going to bed.  Early? yup, but I need the comfort of my bed and the sounds of my room at night. 

As I predicted on Wednesday evening, I wouldn't be making it home tonight, Friday night.  That's because as soon as I got back from North Carolina, they had me turn around yesterday and go almost all the way back there to deliver and then pick up.  I did the math: no way would I have enough available driving hours to be able to leave there and get home today.  In fact, I ran out of hours just getting to the truck stop I am at.  I'm still 4-1/2 hours from home. 

Now, I left home Sunday at around 2:45 am.  I'll be getting home sometime tomorrow late morning, I'm guessing and then I have to leave early Monday morning to be down in Lufkin for an 8 am delivery. So, I don't get anything near a full weekend.

See this is my problem here.  I mean, I was going to be home every night but one, maybe two per week.  That was cool. I could deal with that.  Then I got to this company and now I'm not even getting a full weekend, much less the fact I've been on the road forever.  Yes, I have made bank this week - $1,400 worth of miles, because that is all I have been doing. Drive 11 hours, sleep 10, drive, sleep, drive sleep.  This is what is getting to me. The fact that they so easily just said oh well to the agreement that we had.  Maybe they don't think it was an agreement and now they have me on their hook? 

So, I am going to write a - nice - letter, explaining to them my position. We really did discuss all of this and I have some texts at least from the recruiter to back it up.  I mean, at least meet me in the middle, cause right now, y'all are getting your way and I"m getting - nothing that I wanted.  Probably won't word it that way, but that's the gist of it.  I didn't get a sign on bonus, I didn't get a new truck, I didn't ask for those things because I wanted the schedule I wanted or at least something somewhat even remotely close to a semblance of it. 

I don't know, I'm just going to politely ask them to revisit this subject and see where it goes. Perhaps a trade off - one week with more home time and one without so much - but definitely, I want to be home at the latest, Friday night.  I really want 2 whole days home, like everyone else in the company is getting. Turns out I"m the only one from out of state, or even out of area. Everyone else lives there and they go home frequently.  Pehaps they thought that would work with me.

Actually, with the Lufkin run, I did the math and came up with how I could get home most nights and still get good miles in.  But, I forgot in that equation that I won't go back empty and may have to do a lot of dead heading to get to a pick up point.  There has to be some sort of happy medium here where I can get what I asked for at least to some degree.  I really do not like when trucking companies make all kinds of promises and keep none of them. It's a common practice, but I thought this was different since the owner had called me first and told me I could get home most night. Those were his words. 

So anyway, I'm currently sitting at a Flying J truckstop in Jackson, Mississippi. The company yard is just down the road, but I wasn't going to sit in there all night long.  I needed to eat, sit down somewhere after a long, hard week and have a bite. Denny's here, had the Lumberjack breakfast, love that stuff!  No such thing as fine dining at truckstops.  Sometimes there are other restaurants nearby them, but not anything I have been at lately  I have been eating granola bars and subway sandwiches. 

I'm going to think about my wording of this letter, but I am definitely writing it and definitely expect some kind of reply to it, even if negative.  Sorry Charley, we just can't do that.  Or, okay, we'll discuss it next week when everyone is together.  Or whatever. 

Oh, and then there was yesterday!  I got to the pickup point in Fort Mill, way late.  Road construction galore, too much traffic and dumb drivers doing stupid things - people are paying attention to their cell phones, folks, not the road. I can see into their cars when they are sitting there at green lights or driving 50 MPH in a 70 zone.  This stuff is out of control. Anyway, I had 12 minutes of drive time left before being out of hours!  Haha, where am I going to  go park for the night? Fortunately, a local freight driver was in there. I asked him, he thought about it for a minute and said, oh yeah! Walmart. 

Is it far? No, it's 4 miles down the road.  I could envision 4 miles in that traffic taking more time than I had, but I had no choice but to try.  Kinda get into trouble for driving over Fed regulated hours.  In fact, this company will fire you for it if it happens too much.  But Walmart  - they all have those no truck signs, but you never know if they are going to allow you to spend the night or not. Some won't many will.  I got over there and parked my truck way  out of the way of anything and everything. HUGE parking lot, this one was even bigger than most and half of it unused.  Parked the thing, went inside and got, yes, a Subway sandwich, came back out, got in the truck, hoped that there wouldn't be an issue and went to sleep. First night since last weekend I actually slept pretty well.  I woke up to the alarm in the morning, thank goodness they didn't bother me and there was actually another truck I didn't hear pull up, parked directly beside me. 

Well, long day.  Started at 4:00 am and ended at 5:30 pm with 15 minutes of drive time left, lol. 

There is one thing that I am definitely not used to, and that is the sound of this APU - Auxiliary Power Unit - running all night long.  It is mounted behind the cab so the noise is right there.  And it vibrates the entire truck.  Now, I am used to the sound of a truck engine running, but that's really much different than this contraption.  They want you to use these things instead of running the engine all night long and at 11k per unit, they are obviously serious about that factor.

I ended up shutting it off last night. I was fortunate that the air was crisp and cool at the location I was at, for I simply could not get to sleep with all that noise going on, even with earplugs.  I should really have brought my fan, but I figured the noise of the APU would replace it, definitely wrong about that.  I am running it right now, but it's day time and I"m sitting at a Proctor and Gamble plant in North Carolina, waiting for them to unload the truck.  I did eventually get to sleep after I shut everything off, but that is a negative in itself since I'm used to the sound of a fan running. They have a huge inverter built into this truck, just turn it on, plug into and you have AC electric.  I checked it, it charged up my computer last night, of which I am using right now for this entry.

No sense not taking my computer with me since I do tend to get hours of enjoyment out of it.  There is no TV in this truck, but I don't miss TV.  I'd watch the news if I had it, but I can get that on line.  Wifi supplied by Iphone, at least one good idea they had. Well anyway, the life of a truck.  This place had my unhook the trailer and go wait with the tractor in a separate parking spot.  Crazy.  I was supposed to load for a run back to Mississippi, but I am guessing they are going to be closed by the time I get there, meaning waiting all night for the next load.  No biggies, I've already driven 9 hours today, I would have liked to have gotten the other 2 allowable, but if not, it's not.  I have lost so much sleep that I need a night to catch back up on it anyway.

Still, I"m working here to make the bucks. The only way to do that is to get 600 miles average per day.  Actually, I"m close to that even though I got caught up in a police chase this morning - I wasn't involved

I've spent much more time this weekend on this truck than I wanted to. I wanted to relax and enjoy time off before going back to the grind.  Instead, I have been cleaning the thing out, scrubbing it down and putting in scented stuff to try and get rid of the cigarette smoke smell in there.  I have the doors wide open at this point trying to air the thing out.  I'm not really happy that they not only gave me an older truck, but also one that has had a chain smoker in it.  Next to impossible to get that kind of stench out of a truck when someone has been doing that in there for that long. 

I can only hope leaving the doors open all day long - especially considering there is a breeze and the air is blowing straight into it - will help relieve some of that smell out of there. 

It is what it is.  Just kinda of pisses me off that they would knowingly put a non smoker into a smoker's truck.  That thing has almost 500k miles on it, did that same person drive that the entire time and .... if he did....yea, likely never going to get all of that smell out of there. 

Meanwhile, I find out that my last paycheck gets my vacation hours paid out on it.  Well that isn't for another two weeks. Won't get my first check from here for a couple of weeks, either.  I'm going to have to nurse the check I just got - which is very small, the way it was going there, small checks for a lot of work.  I can't nurse it, tho.  I have bills to pay and they are due in in the next 7 days, spread out.  Sat down last month and wrote everything out, how much the bill is for, what day it is due on so I could just whiz through everything and pay it all at once.  But I'm not paying the entire month's bills this time.  Just the stuff that is due in the next coming week. This is the only thing that motivates me right now, even if it's a job I'm not home much: start getting some money back into the bank, not be broke.

Oh well.  This is the life I chose, long ago, now I have to live with it.  Should have just gone to school when I thought about doing it.  Not sure if it would have paid off tho. And the vast amount of money it costs to go school.  I'm really going to have to spend some time in prayer about what I should be doing at this time in my life versus what I am doing with it.  I've always works, but I also worked for free on the mission field and tho I didn't come out of it with money, I have never regretted it. I would love to be involved with a relief agency that goes to the points of natural or man made disasters where they occur. 

I'm kinda curious how that works in the federal government.  Or even in organizations such as the Red Cross or Salvation Army.  But there are so many of those types of organizations out of there.  Wouldn't it be great to do something you like and get paid for it?

Ahh, whatever.  Just kinda feel like I'm wasting my life away just to earn money.  There is more to it than that, yet I can't seem to find my niche in how about getting that done - doing something I like while getting paid for it.  Trucking is just a grind.  One place to another to another.  It can pay well but it's a pretty pathetic existence. 

Just like facing tonight at 2:30 am, having to get up, get in the thing, go hook it up to the trailer and head out on the open road in the dark.  It was the only load they had for me over here to pick up and deliver, I really had no choice but to take it.  Night driving is not my forte.

Well whatever. I'm getting close to done, finally, with truck stuff. Just washing sheets, put them on the bed in the thing, get my clothes packed and get ready.  Take the rest of the day off, go to bed early. 

I've gone blog happy.

I tend to write things out to get stuff out of my system.

It helps. 

This entire situation represents extreme changes to my life.  

My dog doesn't see me coming home at the same time every day.

He sits there and starts making his high pitched noises.

So I'm told.  He'll get past that eventually, but he is very clingy right now.

I was only gone a few days.  What will it be if I'm gone 5 full days?

Yet, I think he will be much happier here left home without me than

crammed into the back of a truck for endless hours per day.  

I can't just stop and take him out every hour or even every couple of hours.

I am already under the understanding that "making it" at this company means

getting to destinations and appointments on time or even early.  This is one

of their biggest things they harped on: make your appointments on time.  They

don't give unrealistic appointment times for the two I've been to so far, but they 

also don't give a lot of leeway.  

And, they get rid of people that consistently miss on-time appointments.  

Honestly?  I'll make the effort.  But if it doesn't work out for me, I don't mind

 moving on.  I understand they want the truck profitable, I get it.  This is just a 

matter of time thing for me.  I'm not going to kill myself to keep up to some 

company's expectations.   I want to make money, but from the day I have spent 

driving there, I can see there isn't any time to stop anywhere.  I mean, I stopped for a

10 minute rest area break yesterday and still was late.  But, that was due to the

dispatcher giving me a load to take out and we hadn't even finished the training. 

That lies fully on the recruiter's part.  They have this device in the truck that does 

electronic logging.  Well and fine, they didn't show me how to use it. He was going

to until he realized when we were going to do training on it that he didn't have me in

the system, therefore I couldn't log and therefore, it escaped him after he did get me

in there.  So, I'm sitting there pushing screen fields and attempting to figure it out.

Great.  Got it figured out.  

Whatever. I knew from my Iphone maps app that I wasn't going to make it on time, 

in fact, I was going to be around an hour late.  That, giving myself 15 minutes to stop

somewhere along the way.  And so it was, the dispatcher was unphased. They'll be 

there until 7 tonight, no problem.  The next appointment I had ample time to make it 

to in time.  

So here it is, Saturday night, definitely enjoying my time off.  And, tomorrow night at around 2:30 am, I will have to get up, get in the truck, drive to the truck stop, hook up to the trailer and drive to Mississippi.  I don't get why the dude gave me an 8:00 am appointment time, Testing me?  Will I 

do what they want when they want to? Or what....dunno.  I hate night driving, I can say that.  

Again, not really sure about this place yet.  

The rubber meets the road when you come to understand that they were not fully up front with you.  I didn't want a brand new truck, I didn't want any special anything except getting home frequently.  That was my main qualifier as discussed first with the owner of the company and then the recruiter.

But it became evident yesterday that the dispatcher has other ideas.  We'll definitely get you home on the weekends but the rest of the week may be a different story, spoken right in front of the recruiter who knew my expectations.  But, that's the way trucking companies operate: promise you the moon, deliver you a toilet full of pee.  Okay this isn't anything near that bad, I'm just saying they make promises that they can't or won't deliver on. In this case, it's won't, because they have at least 8 loads a day going to Lufkin and this plant's busy season is about to fire up.

They take these massive rolls of paper and make flyers and inserts out of it.  The busy season is Christmas, obviously, when they say 20 to 30 loads a day are needed there.  It's a year round operation, though, not like the plant just closes up and goes away after Christmas is over.  After making that delivery, I dead headed 132 miles to pick up a load of some sort of special baking flour.  Like, a LOT of it.  And then back down here.  I was on the road for about 12-1/2 hours yesterday, a little more than I wanted but not too bad. 

I mean, I've worked 13 hour days at the previous job before the new manager came along.  We worked 10 hour days as a rule of fact before he came and often enough longer than that.  So, long days aren't really a big issue.  But I do have a learning curve to get caught back up with all this kind of driving.  Haven't done it in so long I have forgotten the nuances of it. Time management being the key to making a successful career out of this kind of driving. 

The point is, I'm here, I'm working for them and I can see the money earning potential. Even if I'm only home on the weekends, I will likely do it for a while to get my financial situation turned around. Which doesn't mean I won't be keeping my eyes open for a good local job.  I intend on spending some time doing that today.  If there is something that comes up that is too good to pass up,  you can bet I will put my application in for it.  I can't really see myself doing what is know as "regional" work for the rest of my trucking career, which is really what this is.  Regional simply means they get you home on weekends.  You could be sent clear across the country but driving 600 miles a day you are right back in a couple of days.  Regional driving, in my view, is simply a version of Over The Road driving, you just get home more often.  The thing about this regional job is, if you get the same miles per week as a purely OTR driver and making the same money, why not? If that's what you want t do, that is.

I suppose it's just a matter of whether I can adapt to that kind of lifestyle again. Did it for years.  Got old after awhile, but that took a long time to actually get old.  Like 5 or more years.  I like going home every night to my dogs and my bed and the security and peace of a home.  At the same time, they are buying all new trucks and all of them will be outfitted with a 20 inch screen and Direct TV for free.  That's not bad.  I don't have a new truck, I'm stuck in an old thing that has almost 500k miles on it.  It drives fine, but it has very few of the bells and whistles that newer trucks have.  Not to mention whoever was driving in it before was a smoker.  No thanks.  I'm going to open that thing up today and let some fresh air go wafting in there and try to get that smell out of there.  This truck does have an APU tho, basically a glorified generator that runs electricity and AC/heat to the truck.  They don't want you idling the truck all night long as we did in the good ole days. But then again, we didn't have APU's in the good ole days, you had to buy your own power inverters or buy the gadgets  you want that run off battery/DC electricity, which are always more expensive. 

I can tell ya the first gaffe I made was bringing a small suitcase and trying to cram everything into it.  No reason to.  That will change.  They don't give you sheets for the bed in the truck, that's all on you.  Or a pillow for that matter.  I don't have an electric shaver, which will change today.  I've been meaning to get one anyway, much easier to shave than having to use shaving cream and razors all the time.  And, I'm going to have to scrub that truck out.  They did their version of it after the other person gave it up, but that's not even remotely close to good enough for me. Not when considering spending that much time in it.  A dirty truck gives a feeling of - I dunno how to explain it.  Just not a good feeling.  It smells bad, it looks bad.

As it stands, and I don't know why this guy did this, but I have to be somewhere in Mississippi at 8 am Monday morning to deliver this flour.  It's like a 5 hour drive from here.  That means my weekend is really cut short and I will have to get up in the middle of the night to get into the truck and drive.  Not really a fan of that. Give me my whole weekend so i can get up around 6 am on Monday and get moving.  If this continues, my dispatcher and I are going to have issues.  He's also a good guy, he wants me to make money, which is fine, but it isn't good for you to have your sleep schedule all screwed up by having to sleep during the day one day, the night the next and so on.  Perhaps it's just trying to get onto a schedule when you first start out, perhaps it's just that I said I'm here to make money, let's going on with it.

I'll keep my mouth shut about that stuff for a while to see how this all plays out. I'm actually kind of interested in driving to PA and some other areas that they deliver to and pick up from.  I'm also happy that I get paid for dead heading.  I mean, that was 132 miles last night of that.  I don't know if most companies pay that or not.  Back in the good ole days, dead-heading was never paid.  Which meant you had to insist the next load wasn't too far off. 

As for Adler, it would be tough to take him in this truck.  I would need one of the new ones with a bunk bed so he can have a bed to sleep on at night.  As I said, this truck isn't really built that well. I'm guessing going the route of taking a big giant dog would also necessitate me getting a ramp for him to get up in there with. Not to mention getting him to actually do it without getting all freaked out.  And, I would have to find time to stop and give him potty breaks and exercise, which during the course of the day while driving, you really don't have a lot of time.  This company makes you appointments and they want you there on time.  That is apparently one of their pet peeves. If they make an appointment - which they do on every load - they want you there at or before that time.  The other pet peeve is driving over your HOS hours as regulated by the Feds. I was informed they just fired 9 drivers for driving over the 11 hours, or staying on duty for over 14 hours or both. 

I do remember the days of wanting to drive endlessly - but you got away with it then.  You don't get away with jack nothing nowadays, it's all electronic logging.  These people were turning the unit off and trying to get away with it.  Lol, that's pretty funny cause even though I've been out of that kind of stuff for a while, I know that the truck knows what you are doing regardless of whether that unit is on or not.  The Feds can audit a trucking company and if they find a bunch of that stuff, they can downgrade the company's status. Meaning racking up points in a system the feds use. The higher the number of points, the the more scrutiny the company can get all the way to the Feds actually have the ability to shut a company down now.  I personally believe that's too much power in the hands of the Fed. Though I can see the point of it in cases where a company is operating unsafely. 

Anyway, I didn't know that electronic logs completely replace hand written logs.  You don't have to do any of that, you just input it on your dash mounted device, it's very simply and much easier than hand written logs.  However, the company still wants everyone to do hand written ones as a backup. Gag, what's the point then.  The point, apparently, is if the device stops working, you have something to back it up.  I guess it isn't that big a deal to keep a log book, but at the same time, they didn't provide me one.  That was a bit weird.  A trucking company that doesn't have a pallet full of them? lol you have to buy your own. They're very cheap, not the issue, just strange that they want you to keep a log but don't even off one of them to you at the get go? 

I'm totally out of it today. It's not the driving, it's my sleep. I have been sleeping poorly since I quit the old job.  I mean, very badly.  Some nights only getting 2 or 3 hours of sleep.  That's not enough to do a whole day's worthy of anything.  I don't care what you are doing unless you are just sitting on your butt all day long.  Is that the allure of living off the government? That the only thing you have to do is spend time in government offices convincing them that you shouldn't have to work and please give me everything for free?  I never understood that ideal.  This company's higher ups were complaining about a lack of work ethic.  Drivers doing "dodging" - meaning not driving when they should be.  They don't have any set rule, but they really want you to drive at least 3,000 miles per week. Which is legally done if you set your mind to the grind and just do it.  I'm guessing for the truck to maintain a minimum profit margin, the 3,000 is the point that they want it getting.  Still, they cited some people driving 2,500 miles per week.

Doesn't make any sense.  If you are out there anyway, you might as well just drive and make the money.  Isn't that what they're out there for?  Well, I need to write down a list of things and go to Walmart and buy some stuff.  I'm going to ask them about parking the truck there, too.  Do they charge for it? Do they care if you leave it there for several days?  The place where it's parked now is actually charging me.  I'd rather not pay if I didn't have to, Walmart parking lot is loaded with trucks in it all the time, even though there are "No Overnight Truck Parking" signs everywhere. It's been that way at that particular store since I started living in this town. Still, I would rather ask and make sure I don't come back to an empty space where the truck once was.  Those towing companies charge a fortune to tow a truck. 

Long day.
They didn't get me out of there until 10:30. 
The dude that does the orientation has a lot to learn.  He's a great guy, very likable but very much
not so clear or definitive on how they want you to do anything, really.  I'm not going to sweat it, it's
just truck driving. If they don't like the way I deal with their issues, I'll move on.  I have been through orientations that lasted for 3 full days.  I am not saying I want to do that, but at the same time, if they want you to know everything, don't dump a bunch of information on us all at once, then give us hypotheticals that rarely exist in the real world, don't leave out a bunch of stuff that you need to know, don't fully explain the things that you are including in the infusion of knowledge and by God, learn how to spell!

I mean, there were at least 30 spelling errors in all of the paperwork that was handed to me. He's a really good guy though, not really worth making an issue out of it, but it looks very unprofessional to have a packet of paperwork coming from a company that is reaching for the stars in terms of the numbers of drivers it has that is full of spelling and grammatical errors. 

Well it's really late.  I started today in Clinton, Mississippi, which is just outside of Jackson, drove to Lukin only stopping once for a 10 minute break to get out of the truck at a rest area and relieve myself.  I was seriously tired for about an hour, but then woke up and went on the rest of the day.  I had to take a 30 minute break - that's fed rules - before 8 hours up, so I did that at a Love's truckstop in Lufkin after filling up extremely large fuel tanks, lol. Much larger then the semi at my former employer. 

If I hadn't started so late today, I would have been home at a very nice hour.  But, it was 11 pm when I got here and now it's past midnight. I'm fixing to go to sleep, but I have to sit for a while and get road buzz out of my head first.  It was almost 600 miles of driving and I can say that I made more today than I would make in 2 days at my previous employer, which was the goal.  My dispatcher is very competent. He was a truck driver for decades.  He makes appointments to deliver based on realistic times, ,but right there in a window that has you cranking down the road to get there on time.

I'm sooo tired and that road buzz is finally going away. It's time to go to sleep. Pick this back up tomorrow.

I know I just put up a post, but it really didn't get this all out of my system.
I am working through this entire situation in my mind.
How did I get to this point? Why did I agree to travel clear to
Mississippi for a job?  What is going to happen now?  Will I ever get home now?

Some of the numerous thoughts flooding my brain at this time. 
This place is just another trucking company.  Or is it? They certainly
take a personal interest in the drivers.  They have a vision and a goal.
They are at around 100 drivers right now, they claim they will double that
by this time next year.  Considering the rapid growth they have been making
up til now, I don't doubt them.  But, uhh, what is my part in all of this? I just
want to make a decent living and yes, get home.  Not 3 weeks, not 2 weeks.
Not even weekly. I want home more often than that.  This I made very, very
clear at the beginning of this. 

So I am hearing all this stuff and I have no idea what to think of all of it. 
What I will find out tomorrow is, where my first load takes me. Cause yeah, that's
where this is going. Get in a truck, get a load, drive.  Cept' there are loaded trailers
in the parking lot and they have the paper rolls that I was allegedly hired to haul
in them. In fact, the trailer I pulled today was filled with them. 

I'm just so - perplexed right now.  Not confused, perplexed.  I know why I came out here,
I know what the circumstances were that led me to quit, which will be reaffirmed tonight
when that pathetic paycheck comes through, I just am having a seriously hard time
digesting my decision.  I hated that place, but all because of one man.  Yet, that one man
has turned that place into a very undesirable place to work.  For everyone there. 

Of course he wasn't man enough to say goodbye.  Or anything at all.  I don't consider him a
man in the sense of a person that is mature, has some amount of wisdom, exercises some
restraints on their actions, gives thought to what they are going to say before they say anything.
He acts much like an impudent child. He has no empathy, no amount of concern for his fellow human being.  I much consider him like a dictator with the god-syndrome. 

And now, the other driver that quit a few months ago says the GM called him.  Why? But my thoughts went to: of course.  He's getting pressure from corporate. Why are all these people leaving? You may be able to dismiss one of them as a bad egg, but 3? And are there more considering quitting?  Well, they'll find out eventually, lol.

Yes, I would go back to that place - sans that manager.  No way will I consider going back under his management unless the price was right.  I'm not even saying they would call me back, but I did leave the option open.  Hey, I'll come back for the right money, if you ever decide to make me an offer, feel free to call me.

Whatever.  I"m bone dead tired.  I hope I sleep something tonight, cause tomorrow not only finish orientation, but pick up a load wherever and head out on the open road. 

Oh, the road test.  Lol.  The Safety officer - well, he was asking me questions to fill out on his form for the driving test.  I mean, he was totally kicked back in the truck, making small talk. If he was paying much of any attention to what I was doing, he certainly didn't act like it. But then again, perhaps he was just testing me to see if I can rub my belly and my head at the same time, ie: be completely comfortable behind the wheel and focusing as much thought on the conversation. I'm guessing that was it, but, who knows. 

I mean, the test was like, not even existent.  I had to keep asking him where to go next cause I want to know before I get to a stop sign or red light. Not that that bothered me, I just thought, well, with this dude all kicked back like this and barely even looking at the road, I'm pretty sure I'm passing this test. 

Alright. It's bedtime. Not really, it's over 9 hours til I have to get out of bed.  But I'm zoned out on all this thinking and lack of sleep and stress.  I am stressing, I will definitely admit that.  Paychecks solve my financial problems. Staying out on the road for seemingly endless spans of time isn't acceptable in order to accomplish that.  Weekends are off, yes.  But where will I be spending them? That is the question.