It went down like this.

James and I went over to the property, about 3 hours ago.  

I came up with the new plan to just use the chainsaw to cut down everything and then come along behind it with the machine or just get rid of the machine and rent a stump grinder when it's all down and get rid of the stuff.  Or burn it out. The tree stumps and roots left over, that is. 

Whatever the case, James couldn't get this almost $500 chainsaw I just bought online from Home Depot to work. It wouldn't start. After a serious amount of time trying, he got it started but the chain would turn even at idle. It's not supposed to do that.  

I was out in the woods. Measuring 20 feet from the west fence to a baseline to start with and then measuring 65 feet to the first driveway, at a 55 degree angle.  Approximately, I was using an app to get the angle correct.  Not that it would matter if it were a few degrees off either way. 

So, I got that done and then measured 40 feet south along the 20 foot setback from the fence line. I couldn't go that far, a huge, dead tree stump in my way, about 15 feet tall.  Rotted, it needs to come down. I'll be talking to the neighbor about clearing out the junk from his portion of that property before I do so. I can't imagine him wanting old, rotted wood staying there, but you never know. 

I went on the other side of that giant, rotted tree and measured 20 feet from the fence line.  I put in a wood stake, this would be the first lot.  I was having James help with this, there is too much shrubbery in the way, it really takes two people to do this job. 

Did I mention I had blood all over both my arms?  I was getting punctured by the thorn vines.  I was trying to cut them down and stay out of them, but they got me anyway.  I was ignoring that for the most part, it looked bad but it didn't hurt that much and I was laser focused on getting this project well underway.  So, we got uip to the first driveway  - where it will go anyway - measured 40 feet from the line we had just put in - via an actual string to make sure it doesn't go anywhere, set in place by wood stakes on either end.  

Then, we put a string in on the other side of the 40 feet wide parameter, from the driveway back towards the fence line. But, the 40 feet width on the driveway was only a guess as to where the 65 feet would end on the far end.  So, I handed the 300 foot, giant roll, tape measure to James and went to put the metal end on the stake, where I would hold it until he got 65 up to the driveway and then mark it.

That, folks, is when all hell broke loose.  

I was standing on a rotted piece of tree on the ground, holding the end of the tape measure on it.  I turned around to see where James was at and my foot pivoted on that rotted log - which dug down into the log.  I wasn't looking down there, what's in an old log? 

Well, I can tell ya, I found out the hard way.  My pivoting foot smashed down into it, which disturbed a nest of ground hornets that I didn't know where there.  Hundreds of them instantly converged on me, James was right there - RUN!!! I yelled while being stung multiple times on my lower back/ass and my ankles.  Even through the shirt on my back. They don't just sting and leave. James bolted around and - smashed his head into a tree - gag.  

 They curl up and they sit there, stinging you relentlessly. I was yelling in agony as the multiple number of stingers were being inserted into my body all at once.  And running for my dear life, James as well. They didn't just say, oh, well they're leaving now, we'll go home.

No, No, NOOOO.  They chased us out to our vehicles.  I didn't know they were chasing us clear out there. We got to the street and I felt a stinger going into my back. OMG! James started swatting the damned things off of my back, I started running around in circles, they were after my @$$ and they weren't going to leave me alone.  We ended up getting into our vehicles to get away from them. I was sitting in the driver's seat of my SUV, watching these things flying up against the glass of my windows, trying to get in.

Relentless demons.  Like an extremely bad nightmare.  My body was in pain, my lower back, upper @$$ region were in extreme pain, my ankles as well.  Oh, I forgot. When I got to my SUV, I looked down at my pants and dozens of those things were curled up on them, trying to inject their poison into my body. I grabbed the Deep Woods spray and sprayed their @$$es and they didn't do anything. So I started brushing them off of me, there was little I could do against them. A relentless army of hellish minions, they were intent on their mission.  

___________

It's hours later and thankfully the pain has subsided. Even the extreme, initial swelling has gone done, at least for now.  I called the Urgent Care center - I was stung enough times to prompt my memory of seeing people on the news dying of such things.

As long as your breathing is okay, you don't need to come in here.  Okay.  The day was ruined, as far as getting any work done over there.  I wanted to get several hundred feet down the driveway worth of lots.  I wanted to get all of those trees cut down as well.

Between a useless chainsaw and all of that? Naw, fam, I went home.  Home Depot said they would take the chain saw back and issue me a full refund, even offering to send a "person" to come get it. The person is UPS, which is fine, they are coming Monday sometime to get the thing.  I am going to buy another one or even 2 more. Cheaper versions, I dunno how the price tag got up to almost $500 for that one, but that pile of junk is totally worthless.  

And so, the day is over.  A few more hours, go to sleep. I have at least 3 days worth of work ahead of me. A Brownsville trip tomorrow, taking me into Sunday and a preloaded trailer to take to Oklahoma on Tuesday.  I intend on Tuesday trip being one day, I don't even have to load the trailer and I won't be losing 30 minutes of drive time on the 11 hour clock, I will easily (hopefully anyway) be able to get that done in one day.  

I just ordered a bee suit.  It won't be here for 10 days according to the site, I am hoping sooner. If it doesn't get here, I figure I can put on double, long socks, a sheet or two of aluminum foil around my waist, a shirt with a sweat shirt over top, more aluminum foil on my neck and figure out something for my head.  I will go out there and douse that log with gasoline and set the damned thing on fire.  Those ground hornets are all going to die. I will kill every nest I find on that property, they will ALL die.  There is no way I can have an RV park filled with those demonic creatures, merciless little hellions inflicting endless pain into the bodies of innocent people. I literally had no idea they were there and I doubt I killed any of them just stepping on that log.  

The ruthless attack on me was unwarranted, but that's nature.  I just couldn't believe these things were still  all curled up on my pants after running out of the woods, relentless, not letting go.  Even spraying them did nothing to their resolve.  

I really had no idea these things were in the woods around here. I haven't encountered them until today.  Live and learn, no breathing problems I just was filled with pain.

And so, there it is. The end of the day is near, I am going to get off of here, watch a few reruns of a few of my favorite westerns and then go to bed.

G'nite.