I'm sort of missing being a part of a church.  When I say that, I mean volunteering and doing the menial jobs or just helping people in need, nothing fancy and not the head of anything (I've done that, not wanting to do that at this point in time).  

I've just had such bad experiences with churches and it just seems like I'm opening myself up to another disaster if I try to get involved.  So I don't.

I was looking at the event they had for people that volunteer at the church I go to - it's a large church, yes, but there looked to be 200 people there.  I don't know any of those people in those pictures of them. I know who some of them are, ie: their roles and duties in the church, but I don't know them on a personal basis.

In fact, the only person there that really knows my name is the pastor.  This isn't a pity party, lol, I have resisted for quite a while getting involved because of the burns I have experienced in the past, especially by leadership in the church.  

I haven't gotten involved in any of the adult ministries where people gather to discuss things, get in the word, make new friends because I haven't wanted to have that kind of connection.  Old stuff is hard to shake off apparently, I thought I had gotten past a lot of that stuff.  Well, I think I have gotten past it, it's just starting over again....do I really want to do that?  

It's easy to get lost in a big church.  It's not why I go there, the kids pretty much get me to start going again. I was going to that church sporadically before they said they wanted to start going.  I haven't made a single friend in that big church since I started going - by design.  I haven't tried and I haven't wanted to. If I did want to, I'd go to those meetings and by now I'd be hanging out with different people.  I have no problems making friends, don't read this wrong lol... it's the type of friends I want.  I have found that non-Christians who don't go to church and want nothing to do with church make far better friends that these people that DO go to church.

Oh, these people have their horror stories of sheer hypocrisy and that's why they have shunned the church.  They don't want anything to do with it and after hearing some of the stories, I can hardly blame them.  If people see these people as representative of Christ, I can see where they'd want nothing to do with any of it.  Backstabbers, gossips, just a lot of stuff you wouldn't think you'll find inside of a church.  One of my stories ended up having a church losing half it's members. 

Not going into that now, just thinking about whether I want to start going to these meetings. I'd go to a 9:30 am meeting, out before the 11:00 am service, which I normally go to. 

 Monday - evening

Had no time to post this morning.  

One of the things I keep forgetting to mention here  - or I have mentioned it and don't remember - is the fact that the formely weed covered fields are filling up with what must be natural grass growing.  I certainly didn't plant anything out there, but there is a lot of area that has a thick covering. If the grass roots get dense enough together, they won't let weeds for the most part grow up through it.

Or at least, that has been my experience.  Right now, the dead stalks of the weeds are still there with the grass growing all around them.  I can at least be hopefully

Anyway, I'm trying to figure out how to afford a 50 pound bag of Bermuda seed - not for those fields but for the lots - because this is the time to put that seed down and there is rain coming soon.  $300 or so for that bag.  Yeah, as with everything else, nothing is cheap or even close to it. 

So, in the morning I have decided to set the alarm for 4:15 am. Rest assured I won't be on here writing in the journal. It's going to be get up, take a shower, get my stuff and leave.  I intend on being at the plant around 7:30 am.  Huge advantage to leaving that early, I will completely avoid the ridiculous amount of traffic headed towards the Dallas/FtWorth area.  Coming back, probably not so lucky but whatever.  It'd still be noon before I get back.  It's 1-1/2 hours minimum unload time and 2-1/2 hours back.  

That is, however, better than 5 or 6 pm.  I'd like to hope this is the last one of these runs, but I'm hearing we might be stuck on this for awhile. Whatever they are doing in Lufkin, it's dragging out pretty good.  

I'm just hoping I can find enough energy after I get back to do at least a couple hours of mowing.  Maybe take a nap in the truck first and then get with it, probably not a bad idea.  My sleep is all over the board lately, some nights sleep fairly well and others? Fitful and really not sleeping.  Well, the tracker says I'm sleeping but it also pretty much says "fair" and "let's do this and that to get you into better sleep".  

I dunno what else.  I'm tired.  I didn't sleep well last night and it drags me down during the day.  I truly would love to sleep better, perhaps I best get into a daily walking routine to help with that. I was doing it for a long time but this truck driving and trying to keep up with the RV park have really taken it out of me and takes up a lot of time.  

Oh, well I was going to go to church early on Sunday but, the kids were gone and the house was quiet.  I just ended up sleeping in. Not too many Sundays when the kids are somewhere else and we get some peace and quiet.  They aren't supposed to make any noise in the mornings, but they do anyway, consequences be damned.  

Time to get off of here and start thinking about early bedtime. 

 Sunday - mid-afternoon

I don't have the magic touch, apparently.  I tried for at least an hour to get that new mower to work both on Friday and Saturday. 

Longer term guest said he tried it several times before it finally cranked up and ran perfectly.  It was hard to believe him after all I went through to try to get it running.  Sure enough, I pulled the cord once and it fired right up and kept running.  Insanity.  

I would have mowed the lawns, but everyone is home today, too many vehicles.  I don't want to risk blasting rocks into cars and trucks, so I just thought, I'll do it when I can when people aren't home.  I would say tomorrow I could do at least a few of them, but tomorrow is a work day and more to the point: it's likely going to be a late day.  

Anyway, upon looking at the load for Ennis run tomorrow, I finally got the "early" load.  It loads a noon instead of 2 pm.  So, I intend on being up there at 10:00 am and hoping I can get loaded, get out of there by 11 and get home by 1:30.  It would be nice for I want to mow lawns if there is any time left in the day.

The other oddity is offloading on Tuesday in Ennis.  7:00 am. To be in Ennis at 7:00 am, I'd have to get up around 3:30 am and just bypass my normal, morning rituals and go straight to the truck and start driving. The other driving never shows up that early, but I'd kind of like to.  It would be before noon and I'd be done with the day.  

It's an hour and 45 minutes or so to offload, from the time I drive in there until the time I drive out.  Maybe an hour and a half, there is just too much tedium to deal with to get in and out of there quickly.  The steps you have to take make you go in and out of the building where the tanks are several times over and that takes time.  I've tried to refine the process to as few trips as possible, but it's just impossible to really get it down any faster than I have it. Sometimes I get a revelation and realize there is something I can do to decrease offload time, I've had that happen a few times in Gurdon.

There is no communication given about when Gurdon is going to start back up, but I believe the reason that is so is because our company simply doesn't know.  People don't ask lots of questions as I do.  I have found that to be true in many different things/venues in life.  I dunno, but I bought a new pair of chemical resistant (rubber) gloves at Lowe's yesterday.  Same as the other ones except these are much easier to get on and off.  I don't want to be exposed to these chemicals.  

As it stands I had to remove one of the lines from the tube that holds them, I cannot put a cap on the end that goes into the tube  for there isn't enough room.  

My 3 days off almost over.  I have enjoyed it even tho I didn't get some of what i wanted to get done, done.  

____________

Evening.  Now that I know I can get up there earlier, I plan on getting up at the same time the boys do for school at 5:45 am.  Leave here around 6:30, leave the park around 7:00 and be up there approximately 10:15 am.  This will get me home no later than 4, probably much earlier.  I just throw in extra time because it happens a lot that something occurs that eats up time. I would get up earlier, but why bother?  I think that's early enough. If I happen to wake up before the alarm, then I'll do it.  

Kids were cranky tonight.  The older wanting me to come sit with him on the couch, but both of them were on their game consoles playing a game together in the same place.  So, one was bickering at the other, the other back atcha, etc etc until I said nope, you want me to come out here and be subjected to this nonsense, no thank you, got up and went back to my bedroom.  Then they got into a fight, got into trouble and were forced to bed early.

I had suggested that earlier today, that they should go to bed early for they stayed up late last night at the house they stayed at.  Like, no time restrictions on bedtime, which is crazy.  At least get them in bed by 10 pm even if there is no school, otherwise, everyone else will pay for it the next day after they bring them back. People that don't have kids - just don't understand I guess.  

Whatever the case, I'm getting off of this computer and getting myself into bed.  I made lunch for tomorrow so I don't have to deal with that in the morning, it's just get up, get a cuppa, take a shower, get dressed and get out of here.  

 Saturday- morning. 

No idea what to do about the grass. The mower won't start, I may just remove the fuel line and see if any fuel is even getting through there.  I didn't even think about that yesterday.  My mind was like: this is a brand new mower that cost almost $400, hasn't been used that much and already giving me trouble? I know it's a fuel problem because I can pour fuel into the choke and it will fire right up and run for a few seconds.  

I really need to mow the grass over there, having a mower sent to the manufacturer to be repair sounds like it would take weeks, at least.  What kind of useless warranty is that? You call Craftsman for warranty work and you will hear people whose first language is clearly not English. Not a fan of international call centers, not at all. 

I am going to take that other mower I bought - and got a lot of use out of actually - to a shop and see if they can fix that one as well.  I think it also has a fuel problem.  l just don't see the new one having a bad carb this soon.  

Okay, I have no idea what would block the line on a brand new mower, but I have suspect the fuel is blocked somehow.  I wonder if that kid in the park dumped something into the fuel tank?  I'm going to go over in a while, drain the fuel out of the tank if it will drain and take a look. If it doesn't drain, well there's the problem, something is preventing fuel from flowing into the fuel line.  If it does flow, then I dunno, a bad carburetor already?  

I also just contacted a local guy who does small engine repair. But he's not open until Monday so that doesn't help me.  I have 3 mowers, actually, that should be fixable. The 3rd one is one we've had at the house forever, it ran like a champ for a long time and then finally quit.  

On another note, I installed Steam on my desktop to accommodate for playing a game.  Well, Steam took over my speakers.  With nothing coming out, I ended up uninstalling steam audio from the device manager.  That didn't work, so I uninstalled Steam altogether.  That did work, so I thought I was good. 2 days later? Sound went out again.  Device manager - steam somehow reinstalled itself after deleting the entire app?  Uninstalled again and all I heard was cackling.  Racking my brains, I checked the main speaker and it was partially unplugged.  I had checked it earlier but didn't realize I had partially pulled the connection out.  

Computers.  Sigh.

Ok. Time to get this day moving. I'm going to at least try to get that mower going.  I'm certainly not buying another new mower to replace a - new mower?  I will sent it back to the manufacturer if that's what it takes, but I really think I can either fix it or someone local can in a fraction of the time sending it to the manufacturer would take.

G'day

 Friday - 8:30 am

I wasn't actually going to get out of bed this early. Not that this is early by any stretch of the imagination, but there were two things that forced me up. First, the dog.  He's got to go! Lol.  I fed him a couple of cups of food and then put him out, where he went straight to the chain link fence and started fence-fighting one of the neighbor's dogs.  

Ridiculous.  I put an end to that, the noise level was unbelievable.  

Then, I got out the pork shoulder roast, put it in the crock pot and then added a bunch of stuff to it per the recipe I am using.  It's a good thing I took snap shots of the recipe last night on my computer screen, it looked intriguing. Like, this combination of ingredients is probably going to taste super good when it's finished!  The reason it's a good thing is because the computer decided it would wipe itself clean of all history once again and nothing came back up.

I have it set to bring back everything that was on it the last time it was on.  But, once it clears itself? That all disappears. 

I'm not unhappy that I got up at this time of day, I feel pretty good, having a cuppa, got the roast done.  It supposedly has to cook 10-11 hours on low or 5-6 hours on high. I typically like to do these types of roast on low setting.  

Keto. Well, I've been doing it for a while now and have seen little results. Well, that is until this morning, when I got on the scale and was almost shocked to see the weight had dropped almost 5 pounds.  I was on a plateau for a long time, to the point I was thinking of giving up on it and trying something else. But when I have those thoughts, I also think: I've had so much success with this diet when I do it the right way. Why am I not seeing results now?  Probably just too much cheating.  There are days when the folks want to order something delivered or go get it where there is nothing on the menu that is Keto friendly.

I either have to eat whatever it is - you don't really have to twist my arm to eat Domino's pizza - or find something in the fridge to make on the quick. Lately, however, I've been saying no to any such luxuries for I really want to dump this fat. I know it takes a while to lose fat, especially when you've just eaten whatever you wanted to for a long time.  

Anyway, I got off and on the scale several times.  I really didn't believe what I was seeing, but it kept showing the same weight every time.  I even moved the scale to a different place on the floor, for some reason, I can get false results if it's situated - wherever.  Same thing.  Okay!  I'll take it! It really motivates me to stay on it once you see some results such as this.  Will it be that low tomorrow? Maybe not, but it shouldn't go up too much higher. It's just the way this diet works, I don't know why, I just stick with it. I desperately want to break the 200 pound barrier and get into the 190's. I'm still 15 pounds away from that.  Yes, I gained a lot of weight and fat on the last round of the "let's eat whatever we want whenever we want to!" game.

Behind door number 1! Domino's Pizza! Loaded with your favorite toppings, you get to gorge yourself on the heavenly tastes that are produced by a delicious pizza!

Behind door number 2? Well, you know, I tried all 3 doors, so there is that.  Potatoes! ALL kinds of potatoes!

And door number 3?  PASTA!!!!!!  

Let me just say here, even if I am not in ketosis - I don't know for I haven't checked in  quite a while - the fact that you stop eating sugary foods such as cookies, ice cream, candy, anything loaded with sugar - is enough to make you lose weight regardless. No potatoes chips, no or very little greasy food, lots of salads.  I consume bags of premade salads so fast that I find myself having to go the grocery story a lot to get more. You can't just load up on that stuff, it goes bad lol.  

I think why I'm feeling better right now is that I am on the cusp of hopefully getting some decent pay.  The manager didn't say I would be getting a little more, he said I would be getting a lot more going with the pay-per-load method.  You see and as I have discussed before, when I was told the pay, I thought the lady was talking about what I would be making per week, which is what most companies tell you.  She was a bit deceptive with that, she didn't specify it was per paycheck or the fact that paychecks are every 15 days.  Remember, I was on the fence in Oregon about sticking it out with them. If I were to have found that out while there and going through one of those "gee, I really want to get the heck out of here" moments, I think I would have left.  

I remember one night, with all the noise from that damnable laundromat on the floor beneath me going on late in the night and not being able to sleep, I was laying there thinking: I'm going to leave right now.  Screw this company, screw these people. Sleep deprivation will put you in a seriously foul mood, I can attest to that. It's a rather hellish condition where, at least in my case, you are sleeping 2 to 3 hours a night, some nights not at all and then getting up very early - 2, 3, 4 am type of stuff - spending all day in a truck attempting to stay awake and learn while you're doing it.  Not to mention the drivers you are with want to chit-chat. You don't feel like chatting because you are so tired, but you don't want to be rude, either.  I did learn a lot with those drivers, no doubting that, but the fact of the matter is, this entire time, it hasn't paid off. 

If I had been making what I thought I was going to make, I would be more than fine right now. The property tax would be paid, I would be saving money towards another septic system and I would be targeting one of the credit cards to pay it down. Or, I would do some of that and not pay myself out of the business fund and let that build up.  Which is what I really want to do for then I don't have to pay taxes on it.  I can just buy another septic system, it's a business expense, none of that money came into my personal funds, no taxation on it.  

So what now? Well, I'm just sitting here in a quiet house - I mad that dog shut his mouth, even outside in the back yard his voice carries - drinking coffee, happy that I got up relatively early, at least I'd call it early for a day off, and thinking about what I'm going to do today.

Well, if you read this journal, you know what I'm going to do: mow lawns.  I seem to have misplaced my bluetooth ear buds somewhere, I had them yesterday here at the house but now? I can't find them. I am wondering if the youngest child found them and decided to do something with them.  That's typically what happens with things that disappear without a trace and no explanation of how they disappeared. You go to his bed and you find stuff stuffed down beside the mattress and the wall.  That kid got himself into serious trouble yesterday, the likes of which the principal is requiring them to go in for a meeting today.

Not going to go into the specifics, but just to say it's pretty bad.  He's only 6 years old so there is a little wiggle room, but the action was completely unacceptable. He knows better, that can be stated as a definitive truth.  

Well lookit there! I have a memory from Facebook a year ago where I had parked myself on the scale and it shows 214.6 pounds.  That was a milestone then, I had lost probably 20 or so pounds.  I'm just above that.  This time, I intend on at least giving it a Herculean try to get down below the 200 mark.  I remember the first time I started keto and I got all the way down to I think 193 pounds.  What a great feeling that was!  I need to do that again.  Dump these size 35's and get into 34's  or even 33's.  Pants, that is and waist size.  

I'm not really in a big hurry to go do more work, if you can't tell.  I have  plenty of time and if I don't finish today? There is always tomorrow. Don't worry, I definitely intend on spending several hours over there mowing today, no one has complained but complaining sort of stopped after I threw that drunk old man out.  Some people were aghast that I had the "balls" to do that.  The guy was a threat to my business, I'll put it that way. Going around acting like he was the property manager, getting into the lady's faces and giving them hell and calling them foul, vile and reprehensible names, when I found that out, that's when I said enough.  There's just no way I could get justify his continued presence at my place. That and using the N word.  

I most assuredly hate that word.  Every person that has black skin, in his eyes, are the n word.  That's what got him a black eye from the other tenant, I later found out.  The man started using racial slurs and the other guy got up and started to leave.  Wait a minute, where are you going? Mark said (Mark, the old dude).  The other guy just shrugged and said I've heard enough. Mark went off again and that's when the dude gave him a whopper of a black eye.  Did he deserve it? Well, violence isn't really the answer to anything for the most part, but they were both drunk.  

I have distanced myself from people staying there now.  I greet people, I wave at them, I get into conversations here and there, but I am not hanging out with anyone there.  Just think it opens the door to what happened over time with Mark, who called me his "friend". I didn't really like him that much, his speech even without the n word was atrocious. It got to the point I hated even going over to the park, for I knew as soon as he saw me, he would be coming straight up, calling me an a-hole (his apparent word of affection for anyone he likes, call them an a-hole repeatedly, over and over).  

Peace has been restored and if any of those people that used to hang out with him didn't like me getting rid of him, they haven't said anything to me about it.  As they shouldn't, for I won't hold back on my assessment of that man.  

My facebook local selling group got up to 1.9k members and then it stopped, lol.  I was hoping to keep it going to at least 20k.  The more people, the more stuff being sold.  However, I very much tend to it, I ban the bots and the people with strange names that are obviously attempting to scam people. Especially the air duct cleaning people. You ban them and the next day there is another one, and another and another.  They keep coming out with new scams all the time, you really have to watch closely every single thing put up in a group like that, those scammers/thieves aren't even in the US.  They want your personal info by pm'ing them and then they can do various things with that info. 

I guess I should shut up now and think about getting going.  Water, a thermos of coffee and get out of here.  I don't much care to mow the lawns but not because it's work, but because the rocks in the ground.  You dig down a little bit into the soil and it's just rock under there.  Go down deep enough and it's clay, but the rocks are the issue and I don't know what I could do about it besides getting rid of the grass and installing a decorative landscaping rock instead.  People don't like that, tho, they like grass.  So, I have to put the mower on mulching mode - were it can't shoot out anything out of the opening on the side.  It doesn't completely eliminate rocks from being thrown around but it does it well enough.  

I will not mow near vehicles.  

Anyway, time to get this day started!

 Pulled pork is on the menu tomorrow evening for dinner.  I was going to make and thought we had a shoulder roast in one of the freezers.  I dunno if I'm going batty or what, I could have sworn I bought one and put it in there.  Well, it wasn't.

So, even tho it's getting way late for me, I decided to go to the store/s to get a roast and whatever else I needed.  Super 1 - had everything but the roast. Up to Kroger's, they had a couple of them in there, nice sized, one of them said $24 and the other said $21, sale price $7 and change with card.  Of course I took the cheap one, I have had a Kroger's card since I was with Fry's food stores in AZ.  They sold out to Kroger's and the card just transferred over.  In fact, the phone number associated with the card is from when I was living in a mobile home in Tempe, AZ in the 90's.  Lol

I did the self checkout thing, I don't like doing it for a few reasons but I didn't feel like waiting in line.  Of course, it didn't ring up the sale price.  Why? I already knew why: it's no longer on sale.  That was over 2 days ago.  It's got the tag on it, that's not my problem, please ring it up at sale price. The lady did without asking any questions, it's their policy. If it's got a sales sticker on it for X price, it doesn't matter if the sale is still on or not. 

There is no way I would have paid over $20 for a pork roast, lol.  For that much money, just get the pre-made stuff.  I won't say tastier but definitely much easier, heat up the packets, get out the burns, serve. 

Not the putting a shoulder roast in the crock pot is hard, but there is a certain level of satisfaction one gets when you cook something and it turns out nice.  

Mid 80's coming Monday, time for them to fix the AC in the truck. It works sometimes, other times it doesn't. I know for a fact the evaporator is freezing over, that's what stops the air from flowing through the coils and cool it off.  The mechanic said differently many months ago, dumped freon in it and good to go. Yeah, it worked for a few days? No, it worked the same as it has been. Pumps out cold air, then it stops pumping out any air. He blamed that on a piece of paper. Yeah, well there aren't any papers there now and hasn't been in a long time. 

I wish people would just listen.  I'm not fixing this myself. Yes, it could be low freon level, which means there is a leak. Why would a person dump freon into a system, knowing it is low but not bother to try to find out why it was low in the first place? It could also be clogged air filter - but they replaced that. Dirty coils - old truck, definite possibility. I'm not being paid to diagnose problems, I fix lights and light mechanical stuff, I'm not fixing the AC system. I just as soon they take it to an AC shop, not our regular mechanics shop. I've been down this road with other trucking companies, they never are able to fix it right, AC systems are specialty systems that you have to have specific training for.  Just because you are a mechanic does not mean you have the knowledge to repair AC systems.  

Whatever the case, I am not setting the alarm. I have decided I will get out of bed when I want to.  There will be no one home, it's just the dog I'll have to get out of bed to let him out, then back to bed and hopefully back to sleep?  I'll try!

 Friday - late

Just another day in paradise.  Ennis - the tank they wanted filled, there are 4 of them that they can pick from that all take the same stuff - had a leak.  I hooked the hose up to it and noticed the cam arms were not very tight.  It took a few more minutes to see that because of that?  A fairly good stream coming out of it.  I tried to fix it, but you really can't do much about that, they need to replace that cam fitting with new arms or replace the entire fitting.  

However, that inlet is over a giant tub - about a 300 gallon version - and that's what it's made for. So, I just let it leak out, maybe a couple of gallons or so, it didn't take long to empty the tanker.  That was that.

During all of this, I had contacted the manager about my pay. I just can't do this, I'm not putting in that kind of time for that kind of pay.  I didn't threaten to quit, but I made no bones about my stance.  He called me back later and told me that he was looking at what I'm getting paid and yes, he is going to fix it.  I mean, I flatly told him that this kind of pay for these kinds of hours was untenable, just can't do it.  It's not a gamble - like gee, I'll say stuff I don't really mean and see if they bite.

I absolutely meant it.  I was ready to go to a cable manufacturer in town and see if they would hire me as a forklift driver, the pay couldn't possibly be less than what I am getting and it would be 5 days a week.  They are always advertising for forklift drivers, I have many years of forklift experience and I am quite good at it, if I do say so myself.  

Why bother with the trucking industry, I thought, if I can just make enough money around here?  Now, I'm not saying they would have paid me that much, I don't know. Their ads don't show the pay.  

Anyway, I was quite relieved when he informed me he would simply start paying me by the load.  "You will make a lot more money".  Those were his words. "Don't go around talking about it to other drivers, don't say anything to ****** about it (he's the guy that trained me on the Ennis and the Gurdon run)". He made it clear that I was to keep that info zipped and I can certainly do that. What it means, at least one could surmise, is that I am going to be making more money than some of these other people.  

Pay can cause a lot of issues between employees if one person is doing the same thing as another but one is getting less pay than the other. That would be the only reason to say that.  Yes, for more pay, I can keep my mouth shut. The trainer just really needs to open his mouth and say something.  He's too nice of a guy, a doormat type of person. I have tried to encourage him that he's a far better driver than he thinks he is.  

They have trouble keeping drivers, that's the deal. They have trouble even luring in new drivers and I doubt a lot of people would want to make it through their hellish training in Oregon.  I was ready to quit and leave on several occasions. Literally, call a taxi, take me to the airport and use my credit card points to fly home.  OH yes, I was and I even wrote about that at the time. It was that bad.  My gut told me right about this company, but I stupidly followed my need for money that, at the time, superseded my instincts and I stayed with it.  

Now, if this pay increase is substantial and pays what I need it to pay plus gets me saving money, I'm all over it.  Keep my on the dedicated Gurdon run, that's my role, we are only doing Ennis because of something going on at the Lufkin plant (what it is, I still don't know, I've been trying to find out just out of sheer curiosity and because I really don't like the Ennis run at all).  I do like that run as long as they give me the early slot.  When they sent me those 4 runs the other day, all of them were the early slot.  Why they keep giving me the late slot for Ennis, I have no clue.  

Anyway, I will wait with "bated breath" as the old saying goes.  It would be really nice if I could just stick with this job. I know, it's old equipment, but I have dealt with old equipment before.  It's not fun when it breaks down, especially if it breaks down repeatedly in a short period of time...and you are out for 16 hours plus staying in the truck over night....

That will be Monday when he calls me and we go over this stuff. He had me doing a Gurdon on Monday but said as of right now, it's changed and I (he) will just wait to see what happens.  There's loads going to both Gurdon and Ennis every single day, I just am getting time off, probably because I complained about Superbowl Sunday. 

So, 3 days off, 3-1/2 if you count today after work.  Tomorrow, I will be over at the park mowing grass. Probably for half the day.  It will take some time to mow all of that, not really looking forward to it, just needs to be done.  Hopefully the riding mower will start, haven't had that going in a while.  If there is enough time, I will see about installing the security system or at least get a start on it?

And lest we forget, there is still a power problem at the shed, it's not a huge issue now for it's not hot out and the "lack of power" is not heating everything up. But those days are coming, which means renting a ditch witch - money I don't have - tho I do have everything else including the direct burial wire.  I have to do that before the hot summer days are upon us. 

Did I mention grass? Oh yes, I did yesterday.

See? It's never ending.  But that wiring project is in the high priority range, months seem to just disappear when there is stuff you have to get done....

Interesting, the business checking account has almost enough to cover this property tax crap. Of course, I can't just spend all of that money on property taxes, there are other bills. Although, the power bill is paid and I don't have to deal with that again until the 10th of next month - well after I collect enough money and then some to cover it.  I'll wait until the next power bills show up, not in there yet, see what that is going to cost to see if I can cover this tax payment as well as everything else.

Kind of sucky to live life working and not really doing much of anything....existing is not my thing. I like to do stuff and yes, there is plenty of free stuff to do, there is still the niceties of life that cost money. I'd actually love to go spend a night in a nice hotel right now. Odd desire, I guess? But that's what I'd love to do. In fact, now that I think of it, I could pay for it with credit card points and everyone is going to be gone Saturday night, why stay here when I can go relax in a different environment? I might just do that. Then again, no one will be here, I could just stay here in peace and quiet lol.  

OTR trucking got me started on hotels. They put you up for a variety of reasons.  Breakdowns, of course.  34 hour reset where you demand that at least one night is not in the sleeper of a truck - admittedly a lot of companies won't pay for that.  Layovers where you're stuck somewhere for days.  I think vacation was the last hotel stay?  We're supposed to go to Las Vegas Memorial Day weekend for a wedding, but I don't know if that's going to happen now or not.  I can pay with cc points, they don't have such luxuries.  I kind of want to go whether they go or not, they being the folks here.  I'm just saying that because it will mean staying at a hotel somewhere, of course.  

Still, life may be taking a turn for the better if my trucking job actually delivers on the promise.  I won't hold my breath, but I also don't take it that my manager is some kind of liar or manipulator or even exaggerating. He's pretty down to earth, very low key and laid back.  He is given X amount of money to pay employees, he has to work with that pool of money to pay everyone.  I've done my best to not say stupid stuff out of angst for the company, it is kind of dumb to stick your foot in your mouth before you even give a person a chance to do anything about a situation. 

Well it's dumb to stick your foot in your mouth regardless, I can admit I've done that in my lifetime more than once, lol. Get older - learn.  Don't let the other players know what you're hand is before the deal is over.  Wait and see what happens, play it cool, keep your mouth shut as much as you need to.   That's what I've done here now that I've paid the price to even get in with this company.  They certainly have no problems making demands of you, now it's time for the tables to be turned? I'll remain optimistic.

As for now? Time to vegetate in front of the TV and watch some favorite shows.  

 Thursday - 8:00 am

Actually woke up at 6, an Amber alert went blaring off on the work tablet - the thing used for elogs and getting new loads etc, very loud.  Wasn't able to get back to sleep after that, but I did end up sleeping around 7 hours so not the end of the world.

Plus, it enabled me to get up and see the boys off. They told me last night they want me to get up this morning to say good morning to them and then I could go back to bed, lol.  I was like, uhh, no.  If I'm sleeping, I'm not intentionally waking myself up for stuff like that.  I know I won't be able to get back to sleep.  

Anyway, today is the second part of the run, taking it to the place near Dallas.  I despise this run for a variety of reasons, driving that far along I-20 being one of them.  Another heavily congested Interstate with people paying more attention to their phones than the road in front of them.  Driving aggressively, weaving in and out of traffic. Brake checking for no reason at all.  No good reason anyway.  Etc.  

I have to compare that to driving on I-30 to Gurdon and as bad as I think that is, I actually think the 20 is worse.  

Headline: "James Biden contradicted himself in interview".  Biden says he has never discussed his business dealings with his son.  I don't, of course, believe him, but what effect does it have? Biden will be President until his 4 years is up, even if he is impeached, the impeachment won't include removal from office, the Senate will guarantee that.  

And the gaslighting.  Biden is now saying the border is not secure. He's been saying ALL ALONG there is no issue at the border! Does he believe our memories are that fickle that we can't remember the s*** he said just a month ago?  These illegals are going to change the fabric of our society, you see them in the news all the time.  One dude who was in a high speed chase, the guys that assaulted the police, the murders and sexual assaults.  You have them filling up the "sanctuary cities", a thing I am amply glad I am not a part of, ie: living in any of them, and now many of these cities are saying no more.  No s*** Sherlock! You should have been saying that before it got to this point!

And THEN you have the results of defunding the police!  LOL! What did these people think would happen when you dismantle entire police agencies or crippling their ability to fight crime by stiffing them on available funds?  It didn't take a rocket scientist when they first started blurting out DEFUND THE POLICE! after the George Floyd incident and "nationwide" cries for getting rid of police that crime statistics would skyrocket. I'm so glad I live in "flyover country", you know, the area that is worthless to the left?  

I'm done with that for now.  Have to start thinking about the work day.  I need tomorrow off, really, need to get the grass mowed.  At the same time, I need the money.  

Ok. I just saw my paycheck. Unless I'm dreaming, I've been working a lot lately and  that paycheck is not representative of the amount of time I'm spending behind the wheel and doing their dirty work at the plants.  I don't get up every day for such a pathetically low amount of money, I could get a local job, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week and make more than this.  Literally, I mean not even in the trucking industry and not have to put up with the bs.  

I can't pay the property tax with this paycheck.  Not and pay my other bills.  Now it's going to start adding up with fees, there's just nothing I can do besides putting it on credit cards and I'm really hesitant to start doing that.  Only if it's the difference between losing the property and keeping it, then I'll do whatever I have to.  I'm not anywhere near that yet.  I'm just throwing my hands up in the air.

I've already texted the manager and then he called me.  I told him flatly I'm not interested in working for $600 per week paychecks.  That's pauper's pay in the trucking industry and yes, I remember working 11 days in a row, then a day off, then another 2 days before getting 2 days off. And before that 11 days in a row, I think I worked 6 days before that. Again, I will not continue on with a job that expects me to perform for them like this and not get paid for it regardless of miles.  In a "local" job like this, mileage is not the only thing to take into consideration as it shouldn't be.  You have hours spent in plants either loading or unloading.  

Anyway, unless there is some glitch or I'm just living in a dream world where I think I worked but I really didn't, this isn't going to continue.  It was really almost shocking to see that paycheck.  I figured at least another $600 net pay.  The manager has no ability to increase my pay excepting for 1 penny per mile, which basically would be nothing.  

They already know, I am sure, the people worth keeping don't stick around because of low pay and old equipment.  They freely admitted they have a hard time getting people because of the equipment, they should have been honest and included pay in that statement.  

Well whatever. The day isn't growing any shorter, have to leave out of here in 20 minutes, need my coffee, water and sandwiches ready to go.

G'day

 Wednesday 8:55 am

Well, kiss those days off goodbye. I should be sleeping in right now and yes, I'll sleep in until 9 or even 10 am on the rare days where there is no one home, which is the current standing of the house right now. 

I'll be New York democrat politicians are gleeful that Remington is moving an ammunition plant out of their state.  You know, drive even more business out of the state? Kind of like AOC when she rejoiced that Amazon decided against building a sprawling campus in New York, she was happy because - reasons, her version of them.  Oh, yes, it was because they were going to be given huge tax breaks in exchange for all the money the setup was going to dump into the local and state economy.  

Oh, and take a look at California. A near 80 billion dollar budget deficit. Hmmm, guess those ridiculous, overbearing and outrageous tax and regulation policies aren't working out too well for them, either.  They don't learn, either - or they don't care.  I keep hearing "California is the 5th largest economy in the world" garbage, so that apparently gives them right and license to run their state like a socialist sh**hole.  

BTW, Christ didn't command governments to feed and help the needy and poor, He commanded His followers to do all of that.  Which is what a lot of us do even on top of all of this regulation and taxation. That's another blasting that the left rails against the right about, I thought I would set the record straight.  Government is not the end all, it certainly doesn't go out on the streets to find people and talk with them and find out where they're coming from and what they need or what they even want to do.

You'll find that many homeless don't want off the streets.  I learned this decades ago.  

Anyway, another 3 hour, 5 minute drive each way to the Crossett plant today, what fun.  And, of course, the late load. They apparently won't give me the early load, I don't know why and I haven't asked, but if they keep dumping this stuff on me, I'm definitely going to say something.  I dont want to be out til 5, 6, 7 or even 8 or later o'clock at night.  At least mix it up and throw me a bone and give me one earlier load?  Actually, please just get us back on the Gurdon run, I'll be a much happier person.  

I get paid tonight, after midnight.  Just going to see what's in there and make decisions based off of that.  The decision, of course, as to how I am going to pay this property tax.  

Oh, I'm watching Nikki Haley blabbering about how she's not quitting, how the polls are irrelevant, how she will keep going on regardless of what is going to happen in SC. Now, I'm no big fan of polls either, but when the differences are that great - Trump V Haley - I'll give them a little credence and figure that Trump is going to win it and probably every other state of importance and she is going to lose.  I think she thinks that if she stays in it, her popularity is going to increase. Maybe it will, maybe it won't, but I have serious doubts she is going to come anything close to winning the republican nomination and if she does, the party will probably dump her anyway.  

I don't allow politics to take over my entire days, not anymore anyway, but I am keeping up with it.  There is a lot going on, Trump getting fined 355 plus million dollars, an outrageous sum of money that will set a very bad precedent.  A victimless crime whose judge based his rationale on faulty reasoning - I think he's just another Trump hater tbh - the entire thing needs to be overturned.  

Whatever the case, I need to figure out when, exactly, I'm going to be able to mow the grass over there.  It's getting pretty good and long.  People start getting unhappy about it and it doesn't look good.  I won't hire anyone to do it because I'm afraid they will shoot rocks at something, cause damage and then the tenant will come after me for the damages.  From what I've read, that's how it works, the tenant comes after you and you have to go after the contractor.  

However and as regular readers will know, the top priority and thing weighing on my mind is taxes.  I can only hope tomorrow's check is as big as I hope it is going to be - I have definitely been putting in the hours - and if it isn't, I dunno.  I just have to hand it go God as I said the other day.  I can't be stressing that bad over something I don't have a lot of control over.  I think what I will do, anyway, is take the washer/dryer payment and save it towards taxes next year.  I was already paying that and it will come close to paying it.  I know I said other things before about saving, it just isn't in the cards.  Not yet. I need to be able to meter the electric use to significantly increase my income.  

It takes money to make money.

On that note, the newest addition, he's a man that's stayed at my park several times now, was chit chatting with me about this situation. Look at all the land you have, you can just expand!  Yeah, if I had the money for it.  I suggested that interest rates are far too high to do that right now and he immediately agreed and then said, "btw, let me show you something".

His trailer is backed up to the tent lady's trailer.  He takes me over and shows me their sewer line.  It was brand new 5 months ago, now? Flattened from "someone" walking on top of it and had several, very large holes in it.  There was pee and poop on the ground.  Disgusting.

I immediately went to their door and ushered her to the site of the ridiculousness.  She tried to claim that she "didn't know it was leaking".  The valve to empty that holding tank is right there, that is a bold-faced lie. It smelled really bad, which is what got the man going in the first place. He said he sat down to eat dinner and had this smell come wafting into his nose, he went out to investigate, thinking it was his setup. He did not know people were even living in that motor coach. I have it set up so her door faces the doggy park, the opposite side of his trailer so the 2 will not have to encounter each other.

In other words, I bit of privacy.  I flatly told her to not dump the holding tank again until they fix that.  And kept pointing at the line, obviously people have been walking on top of it. The only people that go back there is them. This guy was very kind, he had an extra line and offered it to them.  I told them to take care of it right away. Went and got the water hose and watered it down quite a bit to at least thin it out.  I'm taking bleach over there this morning and get a different smell going there by dumping bleach on it.  

I'm watching the news right now, in the last month they've had 20,000 Chinese nationals illegally crossing the border.  And a bunch from Russia.  

Time to go.

G'day

 The Ennis run is a pain for several reasons, but the biggest is at the plant where the glue is delivered to.  They supply the air pressure in a thin hose that does not pump out enough volume to keep the tank pressured up as it empties out.  In fact, I can pump the tank up to 30 psi before opening the valves, then open the valves and then? It pumps that stuff right out of there but the tank pressure goes all the way down to 8psi.

This wouldn't be a big deal, but at the end, you have to have air pressure to clear out the line.  There ain't nothing left.  Today, I tried building pressure back up. After 5 minutes it had gotten up to 10 pounds.  I'd need more like 30 to clear the line.  So wait half an hour so I can leave?  I end up having to lift this heavy pipe up over my head so it can drain out the residual inside the pipe.  It's hardly 100% effective. There should be a fitting on the outlet of the delivery pipe on the trailer -which there is - but they have it with these knobs on it that make it impossible to put an airline on it.

Otherwise, I could just pump air through that line for a while, clear it out and have no worries. 

It's done but so is my alleged 3 days off.

They cleared all 4 of those Gurdon runs out of there today and put in an Ennis run. Yup.  Just poof and it's gone. "They changed it, I'll look". That was the dispatcher's explanation and that was the last I heard from her.  Communication in this company is trash, I didn't expect to hear anything from her.  I wanted to cut grass tomorrow, beautiful weather right now, perfect day to get out and cut all 14 lawns.  

Looking at the forecast, it's time to plant grass.  I didn't say I have any money for it, I'm just saying now is the time.  If I were to put down grass seed, it has to be done before it gets hot.  Yea, well maybe a miracle will happen somehow.

Oddly, haven't had much overnighters coming through.  I have a 2 week stay coming to take that spot up and before that, a 2 night stay from a person that's been in my park 5 times now.  He has a daughter who is a student at one of the colleges in town.  But I usually get some overnight calls during the week and I have availability. It's why the park is mostly long term, short term was a bust and I found that out quickly.

I intend on being in Crossett around noon tomorrow, which means leaving the park around 9:00 am.  Yeah, I don't have to go to bed early, but then again, it's already 10.  

 Just a short.

Tuesday - mid-morning

My offload time isn't until 4:00 pm, but I am told to arrive at noon if I want to get done earlier for that is usually when the first load is done and out of there.

So yes, I'm leaving in a little while to arrive around noonish, get it over with and have some free time to do what I need to get done.

Amazingly, it's going to get up in to the mid 70's today.  Although I greet such nice weather, it also means something else: weeds will start to grow again.  I never got the front done, I tried but the stuff just wouldn't take off, ie: the whole field on fire.  

And it also means something beyond that: I will have to figure out what to do about summer grass before much longer.  

So here we are, facing a huge property tax bill and wondering how to get summer grass growing without spending thousands of dollars on it.  Uh-huh. Even grass seed is ridiculously expensive.  The rye grass is relatively cheap but the summer grass is way up there in price.  

See, I am getting to the point where I am just not going to obsess over this stuff and constantly worry about it.  If I have the finances, it will get done, if I don't, there is nothing I can do about it and put it into the Lord's hands. I don't really want dirt lots all summer long. That's all.  Green looks so much nicer.  

I need some wisdom and direction from God about all of this.  

So I will be thinking towards that end today while driving and just contemplating.

G'day

 Long days will be over after tomorrow.  

They dumped 4 loads in there today, none of them are the Ennis run, thankfully.  It's all Gurdon and I far prefer that over this nonsense.  

Didn't help that I had to stop at the office for updated paperwork.  I turned in a bunch of runs I had done, the paper version. All of it is turned in electronically, but they still want the paper stuff for backup.  Note that they didn't ask me to bring it in, I had a huge stack and wanted rid of it.  

Instead of thanking me for bringing it in, I was lectured on keeping each run all together instead of having them just piled together.  Yes, they are all together, the only things that might be out of order are the ones where you contacted me and wanted me to resend it.  

She just continued on the same theme, over and over. I eventually said fine, I'll be happy to take that stuff home and make sure it's all in order.  More of her junk.  I repeated it again. More of her junk. I repeated it again. More of her junk, repeated....she went through the entire pile in no time at all, because, as I said to her, it was already in order.  Ridiculous nonsense.  

Then, after making me wait for her to do that and telling me that "corporate wants us to do this" as if someone had asked me to bring the stuff in - which no one had - she finally got into the book with all of the trucks permits and paperwork.  After that, there was the IFTA stickers and the plate sticker.  SHE had to do it, not me.  At that point, I didn't really care, I just wanted to get out of there, but, I had turned my attention to the manager who is much more laid back. This lady isn't a manager but she acts as if she is the CEO.  

The manager said "in regards to your text, there is no forced dispatch here".  If something is going on and you need to deal with it, reject the load and take care of your personal business.  This was in regards to Superbowl Sunday, where so many things happened. The trailer copper tubing broke and I couldn't get the tanker washed out. Send to Lufkin Loves who told me they don't fix such things. Trying to crimp the line in pouring rain with lightning striking all around.  Having text messages sent to me with pictures of hail damage and the power lines down to our house.  Needing to be back to the yard for a new guest coming in. And yes,  a Superbowl party I wanted to go to. The dispatcher had tried to send me to Crossett to drop and hook to a different trailer.

Forced dispatch is when your dispatcher sends you a load and you must take it. You have no choice and if you do refuse a load for whatever reason, well, I don't know, I've never suffered the consequences. I assume getting fired, disciplinary action which would include what, i wouldn't know for I would tell the company to bug off. I will only refuse a load if there is some sort of emergency going on or if I get so sick I simply can't do anything but lay in bed.  I don't tend to put up with a lot at this point from trucking companies, they are a dime a dozen, they all act pretty much the same towards drivers and I don't need it.  I am not their servant and I will not be talked down to.  

I finally got out of there....oh, forgot, there were no mechanics there today.  They have a full shop....the ABS light is on on the trailer and other minor things I wanted, new gaskets, new chemical gloves, etc.  I'll buy my own gloves somewhere and charge it back to the company since I actually tried to get them from them.  

At the plant, they took me in immediately.  There was no waiting at all. I was out of there in something like an hour, which is great.  On the way back, however, there was a broken down truck sitting in the right lane on the 220 bypass and of course, traffic was backed up for miles.  Then, when I was getting close to my exit off of 20, I noticed GPS was telling me to get off at 59. 59? Why not 43?  I looked and saw a 3 mile backup in between 59 and 43.  Nope, not getting caught in another one of those, got off at 59 and just took a longer route to the property. Only by a few miles tho, nothing horrible.

I get home and the house is unusually quiet.  No one in the living rooms, usually the kids are there watching tv. What's going on? Well, the youngest comes flying out of the parents bedroom and gives me a big, happy greeting. Oh, ok, that's where y'all at. No....he says...and goes off on how the older brother got into trouble.  OIC.  Well anyway, the day is done, I don't have to get up early, tho I'd rather do so and get the day over with, my offload time isn't until 4:30. The other driver told me last time everyone on the second run shows up at noon and that's what I'm going to do again. 

And then? 3 days off.  I didn't ask for them and I'd rather have weekend days off, but, the plant is reopening and we are going to go back to loading in Lufkin and delivering in Gurdon. Actually, one day won't be off, I'll have to take this trailer up to either El Dorado or Crossett to exchange for the other kind that is used to haul the red glue.  The stuff I'm hauling now is white.  Anyway, it'll be more like 2 days off, it's 3 hours up and 3 hours back from Crossett, that is a short day, yes but it's still work.  I'll be asking tomorrow about that.  I will likely go up Wednesday for the trailer if it works out to do it that way.  Get up early, like the time the boys get up for school (5:40 am) and get it over with.  

What will I do with the other two days? Probably cut grass at the park at least. It needs mowed, I let it go because of the rains. It isn't bad, but it's getting longish.  I might even install the security system and I'll definitely clean the amenities shed.  What I"m saying is, the park needs some attention. I did the driveway but there is plenty more that needs to be done.  

I'll dig up some gravel from the rear of the driveway and take it up to where that huge pothole was. There is still a dip there and that's a precursor for another huge pothole. And, of course, the driveway needs storm drainage. I don't know how I'm going to do that.  I will have to dig a ditch across the driveway, so for as long as that takes, no one can drive in or out of the park? I have the pipe already....I dunno, it needs to be done.  Wouldn't mind trying to set all those weeds on fire again now that it's dry again and I figure the next couple of days that should all be dried out.  

I was informed today that I need a haircut.  Yup, it's getting long. I hate getting haircuts because most of them basically butcher my hair and it doesn't look good. Once in a while, you get a person that can do it, most of the time it's hair "stylists" that are in a big hurry to get it over with. I tip accordingly.  You butcher my hair in 3 - 4 minutes, I know it's going to look like hell.  You know, I will sit there and tell them it's uneven and they will argue with me. I'm the customer, cut my hair the way I want it done.  Well, once my hair grows out, to go back to the point, the butchering doesn't look so bad. At the same time, it's ridiculous to take care of it. It's rigid and I have to put what amounts to glue in it to get it to hold the way I want it to.

I'll get that done on those days off.  

What else? I dunno, it's not exactly late right now but I'd like to lay down and watch some TV.  I have a movie recorded, Se7en - that is not a typo, stars Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt, old movie but I remember it being fairly decent.  Nice to be able to record stuff you don't have time to watch and then, watch it when you do have time. 

 Monday - relatively early.  I am absolutely not looking forward to this nonsense today.  Not only 3 hours up to the plant but also having to stop by the yard.  I will make that stop as fast as possible, I don't have time to be lingering with people who sit behind desks all day long.  I can chit chat with the best of them when I am inclined to do so, I will not be inclined to do so today.  

I just know I won't be getting back until late, this run takes all day long, tomorrow is a little better.  Well, tomorrow is a lot better for it doesn't take as long to get there. An hour and a half less driving round trip from my place to the plant and back.  I don't particularly care for this run simply because of the time consuming factor.  

It's 3 hours and 5 minutes to Crossett, but can add an hour to the trip up there with the stop in El Dorado.  I can take I-20 to Ruston and head north, which takes me up just east of town, so it's not terrible, but it's not great either.  I figure to be at Crossett by 1.  There is no reason to get there earlier with this other guy dawdling and taking his time.  I found out, however, his load time isn't as early as he stated it was originally.  He still shows up 2 plus hours late.  

I apparently will get the late run as long as I'm doing this and that's that.  They've got us delivering on the same day so obviously seniority will get the early run. But why does he want it so badly if he can't show up up there on time? Otherwise, I'd get up there a little early for the first load and get it done and over with.

The only good thing is that it only takes like 45 minutes for them to load the truck.  I was informed by this other driver that they don't force us to wash out the tanks every time, so I don't plan on doing that.  Otherwise, add an additional hour.  Oh and don't forget the fuel stop.  This is trucking, you do lots of things you don't actually get paid for. In my previous job, I didn't care as much for I was making a lot more money.  The tradeoff with this job, of course, is that I get home almost every single day and I do get some weekends off.  I worked many, many weekends, in fact, most of them, with that previous job. I don't ever want to get entangled with any kind of schedule like that again unless I am forced to do so for financial reasons.

As it stands, giving it some thought, it seems the only real way to quit working is to wait until I'm 65 to get on Medicare.  The only way to bypass that is to greatly increase the number of lots in the RV park.  AS I have said a few times now, that just isn't in the cards.  Maybe a new president will drive this country in a different direction  - if Biden doesn't win another term - but if he does win, I suspect these interest rates will stay up there for the foreseeable future. The Fed raised the interest rates far too many times.  No expert here, but the consequences are obvious and palpable, especially when visiting the grocery store. 

And when you try to get a loan.  Especially when you try to get a loan. It's not even worth trying to get one right now. Were these results what these people wanted when they started doing this?  I don't know.  Dependency on the government is the leftist way.  People go to work, go home and do what, exactly, since many now are struggling just to pay the recurring monthly bills or feed their families.  Work to exist.  That is the revelation that finally go through to me after decades of working for corporations and really, having no life beyond work. Work dictates your life, not the other way around. 

Hence spending my retirement on this RV park venture.  Was it a mistake? Dunno.  If I end up selling it for what it's worth, then definitely not a mistake, I will end up with far more money than what I started out with.  I can tell you, if I were to sell that property, it would just be the RV park portion, the front 7-1/2 acres, I would have a real estate lawyer draw up an easement right through the main gas driveway to get to the rear of the property and keep the 15 acres in the back, which have no bearing on the RV park  excepting there are, indeed, people using the walking trails back there now.  At least 2 different people walk their dogs back there.  

Today is a holiday, President's Day to be precise (wasn't this George Washington's birthday?, oh yes, he was a white nationalist that killed a bunch of Indians and held slaves and so on and so forth, so the woke people tell us that is why we shouldn't be celebrating such a horrid person's life) so the boys are home, the granny is leaving with the oldest, probably pretty soon and I'm spending the day on the road.

I won't complain too much, I just had 2 full days off.  3 days until next paycheck, I keep saying this because I both anticipate a larger paycheck with all of this working and also anticipate that I am going to have to spend most or all of it on property taxes.  

Anyway, it is getting close to departure time, must get busy getting ready to leave.

G'day

Saturday - mid morning

I woke up late and thought it grand.  It's cold outside at 38 degrees, my idea of doing anything went out the door and stayed out there.  If it warms up I may go over and get a few things done. Nothing intense or involved, unless I decide to tackle the security system.  I never did install it.  The problem is attempting to install outdoor outlets.  I actually kind of think I should just run a line from the breaker box instead of what I was going to do.

The problem with that?  A lot more wire, wire is quite expensive right now and probably will stay that way. Things have a way of staying up there in price unless demand goes way down.  

Anyway, I'm starting the unenviable task of trying to get the books completely done so I can take a look at taxes for 2023.  Start now, yes.  It's already February and I don't want to wait until the last minute to try and get this stuff done. I will owe money, that's for sure, for I didn't pay taxes on some of the money I took for myself.  I couldn't afford it at the time and I didn't care.  I will, of course, care once I see whatever penalties they assess, but we aren't talking about a lot of money here, hopefully meaning the taxes won't be too great.  

I've at least learned a lot of how to navigate Quickbooks.  It has access to a lot of stuff, including my bank account which is where it matters the most.  

5 days until next paycheck, I'm just hoping with all of this working that I can get a nice paycheck and spend most of it on what else: property taxes.  I'm not going to wait forever, if I have to put some of it on a credit card, I will.  There is no way I'm going to jeopardize the property by having someone else pay the taxes for me and then incur a lot more fees and interest to boot.  

At least I've almost completely stopped using credit cards.  In fact, rarely now and that in extreme situations.  The damage is done, just not going to make it even worse.  

_____________

13 hours later.  I only went out today to do things I needed to do.  Deposit rent money, get a new screensaver and case for my phone.  Went to carwash, not because I needed to but since I have the monthly package and was given the top tier for less than the bottom tier (I made a comment about the carwash on the local facebook gossip page, the owners saw it and rewarded me with such, not even asking my for any of my information, they simply looked my name up on their database and assigned it to me), Hobby Lobby for a piece of felt and then home.  

Home was interesting, there are 7 people here currently - the grandma and the 3rd child - plus 2 more showed up to visit that were here quite a long time. I won't go into details, but I do watch such behavior with entertainment in mind, lol. No, not sexual things, get your mind out of the gutter and nothing illegal.  Just personal stuff.  

And that's that. This day off went by entirely too fast, at least in my mind.  I suspect tomorrow will be the same and Monday is a late load but I'm going to ask the other driver if he's planning on getting up there early, since he doesn't like to get up early, I could beat him up there, get loaded and get out of there and get Monday over with. Plus I have to stop at the yard in El Dorado for IFTA stickers, they are expired on my truck but apparently hold over until March. Yes, March is coming up.  

The yard will take time regardless, it just does. The ABS light is on on the trailer I'm pulling, I'm going to see if they can take a look at it. Usually? Dirt in one of the sensors or one of the sensors failing and needs replaced. Not an elongated repair and their computer should tell them what the specific problem is.  Yes, they use computers on trailers for diagnostics as well.  At least to a limited degree, much of the stuff on trailers is pretty easily diagnosed without anything but your eyes and/or ears.  

It's power trains with all the sensors and electronic junk that you really have to have a computer take the codes that the truck computer is sending out and transfer them into - this is what's wrong with this thing.  

I'm not looking forward to Monday because I have to go to the yard and because this other dude seems to think it's ok to show up 6 hours late for his appointment time. He's a really nice guy and all, but I just have little patience for such things unless there is a legitimate excuse.  Not wanting to get up early is not a legitimate excuse and he should simply ask for the later loading time. 

I was going through some old stuff and found an envelope that was mailed to me - from my Dad. Dad passed away many years ago from Alzheimer's complications. Unfortunately, the note that was in it is gone.  Brought back memories, tho, of his encouraging and uplifting letters he used to send periodically.  I really looked up to him for he was a pastor and he really took his calling seriously. Not a fake Christian acting like something he wasn't, he had his share of problems, don't we all?  The people he served absolutely loved him and that was quite evident at his memorial service where there was a message and then people were asked to get up and speak a word if they wanted to.

A lot of people came to the front and I kind of felt like my input wasn't going to be necessarily that great, but, I felt the nudging inwardly to do it and it did set off a chain of interactions with people afterwards that didn't know who I was, had only heard about his 3 boys but had never met any of us.  So it was very cool and a very good ending, I guess.  His earthly ending was not a great thing and I hate Alzheimer's more than any other disease because it has taken so many relative's lives and because I fear the same thing will hit me.  It's why I started a fasting regimen which allegedly helps with the "brain plague" issue that all Alzheimer's patients have, at least to everything I've read about it and trust me, I've read a lot about it. 

They have apparently started to make some progress in a drug that has shown quite a lot of promise in testing on mice that stops or slows the progress of the disease.  

Well not to dwell on that, I believe my father is in Heaven with the Lord and other relatives and that I have my hope and faith and belief in Christ that I will be with them some day.  

Uhh, well anyway, that's it.  I got what I wanted to get done today: much of nothing. A few small errands with kids in tow - they wanted to come - home and spent the day hanging out with folks. And watching movies. And helping kids playing their games with things they were having difficult getting past.  And cleaning, lots of cleaning in my room, tidying it up. Quickbooks as well, got a good start on that.  I guess I did get some stuff done, it's just that I didn't have to spend the day in a damned truck.  

With that, I bid you a good evening. 

 I got on this 20 mile stretch of road that GPS told me would save time.  It was one of the most horrible roads I have been on in probably like the last 20 years.  It was so bad, it should be shut down until they fix it.  Live and learn, I will never take that road to Ennis again.  Other routes are an angled road that leads to Ennis back off of 20 or go into Dallas and hit I45 south.  Yeah, I don't want to go into Dallas if I don't have to.  Plus it showed an accident with a long back up, shouldn't have even been an option on GPS.

Everything went ok at the plant. 
A few nuances I needed to learn.  The air hose doesn't put out half the volume the hose up in Gurdon does, it takes forever to even get up to 22 psi and then it dropped all the way down to 10, where I shut off the valve on the trailer to let the pressure build up a bit again. 

It wasn't really that much fun and I really have to take a pic next time I'm there, which should be on Tuesday.  You see, where they have you offloading - which is the only place you could possibly offload, it's not like they can do it anywhere else, it's also a throughway to the back where trucks go to load whatever product they are making here, I think it's roofing materials.  

Yeah, there is just enough room for 2 trucks to pass by each other.  Not for the faint of heart for those in the back wanting to come back out, but this is their setup and I'm certainly not waiting for trucks to load and get out of there.  Sorry, but you can make it through, just take it slow.

One guy stopped and shook his head. They don't have very good management here, do they?  I don't think it's management's fault, I think whoever designed the plant should find something else to do with their lives.  

________

Many hours later, in fact, after 10 pm.  Kids came into the room, then grandma showed up with another one and we were watching a movie.  I dunno, but those kids better not get up too early and if they do, they best not wake me up.  I have 2, full, glorious days off and I don't need to get out of bed at 5:45 am or even earlier.  Although Monday I would love to swap with the other driver who won't show up til' many hours late anyway. Actually, he could just show up at his "normal" loading time and I will be done and gone.  

Regardless, I am tired after a long day and going to bed.

 Friday - 8:30 am

Yup, still at home.  Have this delivery and then I expect either the entire weekend off or Sunday at the very least.  They want me to load and deliver Monday, that's fine tho I really need a couple days off here. Wednesday wasn't a day off since I worked at the park literally all day long.  So, we're at 12 days in a row working including today.

I guess the only thing I really dread about today's delivery is how I'm going to get that big hose back up on that rack on the back of my truck.  I've never used it, we put it on there at the yard in El Dorado, we being the mechanic and I.  It's not exactly light.  I dunno, I'll figure it out I guess?  Lol

The rest of it is just procedure, most of which I have completely forgotten for I only did it once, did it with a trainer and the trainer did most of the work, showing me as we went along. That was months ago.  

It's nothing different offloading this stuff than it is anything else. Hook the delivery hose to their tank, hook up an air pressure line, turn on the air pressure and open the valves.  Pump the tanker out, make sure air has pushed the product out of the line, close the plant valve, close off the truck valves, walaah.  Remove the line, put a plug on one end and a cap on the other and you're good to go.  

I expect to be there a couple hours while trying to remember their protocols, hooking everything up, getting a plant employee out there to check it out and get it going.  But, I'll be showing up at noon instead of the 4:00 pm delivery time. This according to the other driver who says that most guys show up at noon on the second load. That's fine by me, I do not want to be out until 9:00 pm or whatever tonight.  

As for anything else?  Well, I'll tell ya on the 22cd when I find out how much that paycheck is and whether I can pay that huge property tax bill.  I certainly have nothing left over to "save" for anything.  That was my goal, that went to pieces and has been shelved for the moment.  How can you save money when you don't have enough to pay the current bills at is stands? I'd be fine if it weren't this giant property tax that is already due.

In other words, no, there is no hope of expanding the park in the immediate, foreseeable future.  So, that talk has kind of gone out of my head and mouth.  I am not saying it will never happen, it just isn't happening right now.  And besides, I really want to install power meters to see who is consuming what.  I figure there are power trolls in the park and I want to identify them.  They can either pay more or they can leave, that's up to them.  I don't have the money for that, either, so it's just sort of sit here and wonder what I can do about the park finances.  I may, indeed, raise the overnight fees, but I can't by too much.  I get sporadic travelers coming in.  

As for other things, the world of politics has completely gone to hell. It probably originated in  hell to begin with, so there is that.  I'm not a fan of either party at this point, but the left is completely out of control.  Sorry, but I don't want anything to do with their ideologies that basically want to tax you to the point you are a slave of the state.  Maybe we're already there, if not, it's certainly headed that direction. I also don't believe we need to be getting rid of natural gas appliances or shutting of federal lease availability to gas operators wanting to drill.  We are certainly in no position to be forcing EV mandates on the country with an already strained power grid, we should never have released that money to Iran and a host of other things that come to mind right now.  

And not worth writing about, for it would be venting and that doesn't really accomplish much besides release some internal pressures that build up when you see the economy in dire straits regardless of the bright and cheery proclamations of lying politicians, starting with Biden.  

So forgetting those people and their internal insecurity issues that they are taking out on everyone else by forcing people to do things they know the people don't want to be subjected to, I go to the grocery store, balk at the continuing rising prices and buy the stuff anyway. What choice do you have?  Don't eat?  The rental yesterday, $60 more than the last time they quoted me.  The only thing that's really come down is the price of fuel. I'll take that over nothing.  

I left the tablet out in the SUV, I need to see if they've dumped more junk in there. We are resolved to doing this Ennis run until they restart the Gurdon run. Actually, Gurdon is being done right now, but with locals. It's Crossett, AR to Gurdon, AR, which precludes us drivers that don't even live in Arkansas from doing it at all. They have crossed us over. Those drivers aren't doing the Ennis run they usually do, we aren't doing the Gurdon run we normally do.

Whatever. Get this next week over with and get back to normal.  I knew I would get Ennis runs from the get go, it's just these late loading times and longer distances/time to get it done.  If I could get the early run, I'd be fine with it and get done at a reasonable hour. It would mean getting out of bed at an ultra early hour, I can do that tho to get the day over with.  I like my afternoons and evenings "free" from this job. 

Well, I best get moving.  It's almost 9:00 am, I need to get over there, get my pretrip done, get the truck running, check everything out and get ready to roll.

G'day

3 hours 5 minutes up there, about what GPS said it would take.  Maybe 20 minutes to drop and hook, I tried to find someone at the washout, it was a fruitless search. Trucks idling everywhere, trucks in the wash bay and never saw a soul there, including searching the office, going to the bathroom since I needed to go anyway.  Whatever.  I dropped the trailer, talked to the manager, hooked up to the disgusting looking next trailer - it was covered with the acid that they fill it with, what a bunch of slobs.

Over to the plant, a mile away.  The other driver who was supposed to be there at 7:00 am had arrived 6 minutes earlier than I did. His excuse? He just couldn't get up that early. Well, it was after 1:00 pm, what time does this dude get out of bed?  I could maybe see a few hours late, but 6 plus hours?  For nothing more than you didn't feel like it?  So, he held me up around 45 minutes - it doesn't take long to load this product. They got me in to line up behind him, which was fine by me. The loader immediately got my truck into position and started loading as well. 

3 hours back and done. Tomorrow should not take as long. The other driver is going to text me when he's leaving where his truck is parked.  I figure to leave an hour after I get that text - unless it's getting later in the day. I want to be there at noon or 1 at the latest, I do not want a repeat of today. '

I'm sitting here looking at the clock thinking, well another hour and a half and I'll have to go to bed.  Uhh, no, I could go to bed at midnight and still get plenty of sleep.  Ennis is only 2 hours and 18 minutes from here according to GPS, leave at 9:45 am and I'm good.  That means I could get up as late as 8:00 am and still have plenty of time to sit around drinking coffee.  

Taylor is sick, I found out earlier today, not feeling well at all and I'm dreading getting the same thing. She goes to people's houses with kids in doing her job duties, I suspect that's where she got it because no one here has anything like what she described she has.  I need none of that.  I've had enough with sickness hitting me much too frequently. I'd like a reprieve from it for - quite a while.  ]

Did I say my phone fell out of my jacket pocket yesterday, apparently down in between the cracks below me where I was sitting on the tractor and got dragged by the box attachment for - looked like about 30 feet?  Yeah.  My bluetooth disconnected from the phone and let me know about it, so I was like, why did it do that? No phone in my pocket to check it, no phone in sight. Got off the tractor and there it was, laying in the dirt.  The screen? Saved by the screen saver, once I pulled that off it was still perfect. The case saved it from other damage and the only thing that it had was dirt stuffed into the holes in it.

Amazing the thing still works perfectly.  I recently got that phone replacing another one I had - destroyed lol.  I need to get another screen saver on it and another case.  $30 versus the payment they require for insurance to replace it. It was only $95 or something last time, this time it will be much more since it's not been that long.  So yeah, glad I don't have to replace it.

Am I dreading tomorrow? No.  I don't like the time of day they are giving me for the delivery, but other than that, I can figure out whatever I need to figure out for offloading, it's nothing different than what I have already been doing, just a few different protocols if I remember correctly.  

I don't know what else.  It's been a long day but the real thing is I am wound up after driving. Like, just going like that all day long I have to have time to settle down. 

 

 Thursday - 8:00 am

I did, indeed get the machine yesterday.  I just forced myself to do it and once I had it, I was on the hook. Either use it or waste all of that money.  It was somewhere around 7 hours worth plus transporting the thing back and forth plus other stuff mixed in.  I went back and forth over that driveway 30 times? 50 times? I have no idea. 

I started off in the worst area and went back and forth on that probably 20 times before moving on to doing the portion in front of the RV's and then, just going up and down and up and down the entire driveway many multiple times including the hip camp area where I basically destroyed it getting the truck stuck a while back.  

It was a very long day.  When I finally got home, it was also my turn to cook, which I most assuredly did not feel like doing, but I pumped out 2 version of lasagna. One the Keto version and the other the regular version.  I found the Keto version not long ago and it is absolutely delicious, definitely far better than it's associated recipes with disgusting versions of noodles and basically very unappetizing s***.  

I have it memorized, no need to keep the recipe around.  

Now, is the driveway perfect? Absolutely not.  It really needs a big blade on a big machine.  But is is a lot better and that dreadful, huge pothole is gone.  It may come back, I'll be keeping an eye on it and this time I won't let it go, it will be fixed with whatever temporary measures I can take.  There is no budget for my contractor to come now.  Not that he bothered to show up anyway.

I also got sun burnt in the face.  Quite red, in fact, totally a surprise when I looked in the mirror yesterday evening.  We haven't had a lot of sunny days going on around here and I'd like it to stay that way for a while.

BTW, I was tempted to clear out the field with that machine, it wouldn't have taken much, but this rental company makes you sign off that you will not engage in bush clearing activities with any of their equipment.  It's a bit ridiculous for this is part of what those machines are designed to do, there are multiple companies out there that manufacture bush hogging attachments that go on the back of the tractor and hook into the PTO.  

Oh and their prices went up around $60.  Just like the gravel, there is no rhyme or reason to it.  Companies at this point, in my mind, are engaging in price gouging, getting on the "inflation train" and upping prices for no more reason than they can and they can get away with it. I did note, however, as I have been noting, that the rental lot is full of machinery that is not rented out.  I don't know the gravel company is doing, there are 2 gravel companies in town and they are both quite high in pricing.  

Gravel pricing going up as much as it has cannot be justified by increased shipping costs to get it there.  Sorry, charlie, but double the price it was less than 2 years ago?  No, I don't accept that as just "inflation" and "rising costs".  The whole system is going to come crashing down at some point with the pricing going on everything that we use daily. The cherry-picked inflation indicators the WH and lefties use are total bs and don't represent the real picture.  I don't want to see a recession or another housing crash or even worse, a depression, but what else is going to happen when everything is priced so high that people can't even afford to buy groceries?  Of course, they want you to be totally dependent on the government.  

That is the end game, Socialism and then Communism. If you think I'm joking, think again. We are well on that path.  If you talk to people about their changing views of socialism AND communism, they think it's a great idea. They don't care about the Stalins, Castros, Chinese CCP and a host of others that have killed multiple millions of people through starvation and just flat murdering people.

Whatever the case, I face a very long day again today.  3 plus hours up to the washout, drop and hook, hope the one I hook to isn't a pile of trash that needs all kinds of work, over to the plant in the same town, go through whatever stuff I have to go through there and back home.  I have forgotten half of the stuff at the plant and my notes on it have disappeared.  I'll wing it, really don't care, just pull in there, call the guard shack and they can instruct me from there.  It's been many months since I drove with the trainer, they should have had me do a solo run (by myself, no instructor) long ago while that information was still fresh in my memory.  I just know you show up, park in a designated parking area, call them and wait for your "turn" to weigh in and go into the plant.  

I'm thinking one of the turns to get in there is going to be too tight for that long wheel-based truck to make it around.  If that's true, it will be hell backing out of there.  I am not looking forward to today, if you can't tell, but I'll face it, get it over with and then face tomorrow - going to yet another plant I've only been in once and those notes are gone.  However, I think I have that fairly well memorized and there is a sign posted with the methodology they want you to go through. 

So will it be that difficult? Just do it and shrug off anything that is negative coming my way, such as scalemasters with attitudes (a lot of them have them) that want you to intrinsically know what to do. Haven't you been here before? Why yes, with a trainer, a long time ago, it's like starting out fresh, thanks.  What are they going to do, send me away because I don't have their procedures down to a science?  Lol. I've been in many, many chemical plants, I have the feel for what to expect.

Anyway, I must leave early.  One pair of reading glasses broke, another I lost yesterday and I've thrown the old pairs out.  They were covered in scratches and could barely see through them.  I can read without them, but it's pretty difficult. Walmart, unfortunately, is the place to go for such things.  And I must make a lunch, tho I can take some of that left over lasagna and take a sandwich, that will cover me for the day, I think.  If not, I'll wing it as well.

Time to go.

G'day

 The new person left their rent, in cash, sitting in a cubby hole underneath their trailer. I'd like to think people are honest, but the next door neighbors are poor, broke and desperate.  It was there, I took it but I made sure those people couldn't see what I was doing over there, ie: taking that cash out of there.  

I get up to the plant.  Ridiculous.  There was no way they needed to make me go up there today versus finishing out that run yesterday.  Or, even for today, that I needed to take it up there at 2:00 pm.  Both of the huge tanks were half empty and I had less than half a truckload, the dispatcher knew this.  

So what's the deal here? The head honcho up there gives me a look.  Has there been another truck here today? I wouldn't know, the other driver wasn't going up there today, but there is a plethora of other drivers they pull off the road to take loads.  I gave him the bad news that I have less than half a truckload. Well that doesn't help me at all! I know, lol.  It helps a little bit, but in the grand scheme of keeping a production line in operation, not that much.  

I could have both gone up there yesterday or gone up there early this morning.  I got up there at noon, 2 hours early and I didn't care after I saw what was going on.  Either the dispatcher is completely in the dark about what goes on up there, which would be odd since she coordinates the loads with them, or, she is playing games with me.  

Whatever the case, I have worked 9 days in a row.  I'm tired of trucking, I need a break. I get one tomorrow.  Unfortunately, I have little choice but to rent that machine and hope it will fix that driveway.  I dunno, but then on Thursday, it will probably be an all day thing going up to crossett, switching trailers, trying to remember loading protocols, especially getting into the plant and getting out of there and back to my park.  

It's 192 miles, 3 hours and 20 minutes according to the GPS, which means basically 7 hours of driving, plus at least 30 minutes switching out trailers, maybe more, then who knows how long in the plant, but I'll give it 2 hours.  I just know it's going to be a late day since it's a late loading time.  And why they are dumping me with a late loading time knowing my situation with an RV park and a lot of other stuff going on, I don't know.  

______

Honestly? There is a 25-50% chance I will not do the driveway tomorrow. Not because I don't want to, but because I haven't had a day off in 9 days and then have to work again tomorrow? Going to the rental shop, getting the thing, taking it to the property, unloading it, using it for unknown amount of hours and then loading it back up and taking it back to the rental shop? That's work, folks.  It is absolutely work and it's not even remotely close to a "day off".  I'm tired, I'm tired of working, I want to have some free time.

Yet, the driveway is so horrid.  Just really bad.  That's probably going to motivate me to get with the program and do it regardless of how I feel. At least I "know" I have Sunday off. How do I know this? Because I refuse to work this coming Sunday.  Oh, but they know this and they know it well after last Sunday.  Which means if I do the Ennis run Thursday and Friday, they can't have me work on Saturday unless it's possible to just get the load and park it for a day before delivering it.  I'd do that, just for the money's sake.  

2 days off in a row sounds so precious right about now.

I'm guessing it will take many hours to fix that driveway, if the machine can even do it.  I'm thinking it can since everything is wet.  Not so hard to break it all up and get it dug down into it, free up the gravel sitting underneath all of that dirt and bring it back up to the surface.  I'll have to drag the box over the topsoil and try to move it off the driveway completely. I don't need dirt, I need the thick layer of gravel underneath all of that dirt. 

And break up the ground  around the potholes.  They say you have to dig at least as deep as the deepest pot hole. Well that's pretty deep, actually.  This reminds me of Mark, the dude I threw out of the park. We were going to go get a bulldozer and fix everything, really.  

...several youtube videos later looking at box blade operation and I'm done for the night.